Celebrating the Moments That Matter to You

 Not every milestone fits the calendar, and not every victory looks the same. In this episode of The Family of One, I talk about embracing celebration in a way that works for you—whether it’s a quiet joy, a teething-stage triumph, or a personal win that deserves recognition. Because every moment counts when it’s meaningful to you. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hey amazing only child mums, I'm 4 Comment, your part-time working mum friend who loves Yahweh, family and fun. Welcome to the family of one where we share joys and adventures of raising an only child. Expect relatable stories, parenting laughs and faithful tips. Let's make small family life enjoyable. Woohoo! Hello, so we are going to talk about, well me, talking about celebrating the moments where you're at. For example, are you wondering what moments? Moments. For example, I was shopping at Walmart, it's a supermarket, and I was at a checkout and I saw a mum and it looked like it was her mum. the grandma, and the baby was in a lovely, I mean, if this was available when I had Olivia, I surely would have got this. It was like a bassinet, and it was in wheels. It was like a stroller, but it was a stroller. It was flat, and I'm sure you can pop it up to different stages if you wanted the baby to sit up or kind of lie down halfway or totally flat. And I was thinking, oh, my goodness. We had a stroller. It was a very nice stroller. But I did not, when I was purchasing Olivia's, the things that we needed, we didn't spend. Oh, we were given. That's right. We were given a stroller that was about, I think it was at that time worth a thousand dollars. You heard me. We had friends of ours and they had multiple children and And so they finished having children and they were like, hey, we got all these gadgets. It was because it was given to them, but it was a really good condition. And so they said, would you like to have this stroller? And I was like, this is amazing. This is like the high end of strollers. The wheels were thick. So if you wanted to go running, like trekking, mountain, I'm sure mountain bike, mountain walking kind of thing. This was the stroller to take. It was good size, awesome, durable wheels. And if Olivia had a friend, it was a doable, I think you didn't even have a three seater. I mean, it was amazing. So what am I talking about? I'm talking about, well, now that I'm talking about it, we were very blessed with the stroller, but I was thinking, you know, sometimes you look at other moms, and depending on how old your child is, you wonder, oh, I remember they were that age. Like, once again, I was at a field trip with Olivia's class, and this little, she might have been like maybe two or three, just You know, walk by all the mums as we do. And she was just looking at us and we were waving to her. She was smiling. And we all said to each other, oh, I remember that age. And we all reminisce how fast they grow, the interests, the things that they're learning. And then some of them had older siblings. And I was just wondering how. You know, sometimes when you're going through seasons in life, do you get to celebrate those moments? And it's not until you share with someone else or even when you sit down. Because, you know, let's face it. Did I share? Did I celebrate a lot? I could have celebrated more. But sometimes when you're going through seasons and it's a bit challenging, right? I think the most challenging time that I had when she was teething. Now, I spoke to other families and other families did, you know, their child did not teethe. They didn't have any challenges with that. And so for me, if you're going through that stage and it's teething stage and it's really, you know, your child is just not, it's really hard for them they're crying and no matter what you give them i tell you i feel for you anytime a new tooth would come out she would just have a fever and we would try and give you all these things and you know put cold compress on and give you the numbing i think it's the numbing toys like she could eat um i think it's like a something you put in your mouth or something so she can chew and not suck on it, something like that. I get it. It was not a fun time. I don't know if I increased my coffee or what. That was the only major, and I think for other moms– And I would Google and I would watch. And some people, you know, they did other things. But I think I pretty much tried everything and just went through it. But once that stage had stopped, you know, she passed through it. I tell you what, so teething for me, it was a lot more tears, I think, for her and I. So I just wanted to encourage you, if you're just going into that and you feel like you're the only person going through those tough teething stages, I mean, what was the best thing that worked for me? I think something cold. It was, I had like, I don't know, these teething things and we put it in the fridge. So if she wanted to, she could just bite on it. And then we also had water. Honestly, just some medication if it was her fever or other things. All I know is it was a lot. So, you know, and now there's a lot of information. So I'm sure you'll Google, you'll ask what works for you. And if you're the mom that's like, do they know? We don't have any problems for that. You know, well, that is awesome. I am so happy. was so happy for you you did not have to go through that I had friends and on it and they said no that that wasn't our challenge maybe it was going through the potty oh my goodness now the potty season that was hilarious she that season it was interesting because she went very early maybe nine months I think and it was fine and I'm like whoo whoo she just put her on the potty Those small ones. And I think we already talked about that. Then she went. And then I think like a few months later, she looked at what was coming out of her body. She said, no, thank you. So I was back to diapers. And she was waiting when she was ready to use the potty again. But we did encourage her. So it's kind of what I'm meaning in those moments, just celebrating those moments. Because one, you're learning how to, one, what's best for you. Like you may have something and like, this is it, this works for me. But if you share your advice with someone else, like it may not be the best for them. For example, I had a friend and their child preferred, you know, doing a number two standing up when they were little, right? And they're like, we would get a party for him. We would sit him down. I mean, there's so many things, but I just prefer standing up. And I thought, well, one, at least they're not holding it. So that was fine. I mean, now the child goes to the bathroom. But there's some other things as well. I mean, I know that sometimes... When Olivia, she says, oh, you know, sometimes I hear, mom, when I need to go to the bathroom, I just go. And I said, yeah, that's good. You know, go to the bathroom and do what you need to do. Wash your hands. please watch and then come out because she's been like her and I and my two we know what that's like when you are full of poop it is not nice because you haven't been you get a tummy ache and then you got to take prune juice or more fiber so we both know that as you do if you're a parent and you two have been clogged up, it's not a nice feeling. So one thing I'm so happy about, if she needs to go, she'll just go to the bathroom, which is good. I mean, because no one wants a tummy ache because you haven't pooped. And so celebrate those moments. It's all funny and sometimes the It's like ridiculous. But you've really got to take the moments just as best as you can. And I notice if I start hearing other people's stories and if I start sharing, sometimes I may be the only one in that group that may be going through that. And you may think, man... My story's different. I mean, no one in that group's going through that same thing as me. Or maybe no one even can relate to what I'm going through. Or maybe my story's so foreign to them. For example, when I had Olivia, I was a lot older than most of my friends. In one, I only had an only child. So the conversation was a little different there. And I noticed with mums of the lot younger, I felt like, wow, I'm really old compared to them. But when I spoke to older mums, similar to my age, and even if they had multiple children, they seemed more understanding. It's not that the younger mums didn't. It was just, I think, Just more life experience. Because now I am 48 years young. And so I had Olivia when she was 30. And my 48-year-old body, as much as I love it, it's still going through a lot of stages. So I celebrate what this body is doing. My soul, I'm celebrating this as best I can. My body and my spirit. We are all trying to celebrate and align. with motherhood so I wanted to continue to encouragement and it's like when you see like certain gadgets and you're thinking how on earth that I was I able to do that without having that latest gadget oh like isn't that when you see isn't it that bad I don't know what it's called again and it rocks the baby I mean some gliders or baby bounces some are so fancy that I probably would have loved loved getting that I think I just had the one I had a lot of hand-me-downs where you just naturally bounce the baby yourself like you would just do it with your foot of your hand And you call it good. And some of them now, they just automatically, you know, there's a switch in their bouncer. And it depends, too, because someone lent us their bouncer, the seat where it rocks it. And I put Olivia in it. And she didn't really like it, especially when– and this is where you wonder, shall I buy things or shall I not? Art, for me, what worked for me, if I was able to borrow it first– Because most of my friends had their babies in multiple and they said, oh, sure, we're not using this right now. Yeah, they're done with it. I would borrow that apparatus before purchasing it. Or sometimes I just did. I said, oh, yeah, I just need a few months. And then she'll outgrow it. So that was that was one of my tips. If you can find friends or family or even someone who. You know, I would ask first of spending all that money into something and then it takes up space. It really does. It takes up a lot of... You can kind of go crazy because I know with my first child, I was like, ooh, I want this, I want this, I want this. And it started to pile up like a baby store. And I was like, you know what? She's not going to be in this for long. So most of my friends, because I was the last one to have a child... they were really kind in sharing their things with me. And then all of them had more children than I gave it back. And I just had the one. And that's why this is called the Family of One podcast. So, yes, another one was the bouncy, you know, I don't know what it's called, the bouncy seat. And you hook it up to the door, the doorframe, and you put her in. And then they would bounce. That one I thought she would really enjoy it. And I'm glad I didn't buy it because she didn't like it. I put her in. She was like, nope, nope. And it wasn't until like a few months later, like a month later, I tried it again. And, yes, she did like it. But then I thought, okay. You know, she didn't like to spend as much time and not like other children, speak to friends and go, oh yeah, my child loves that. So it's interesting to see and learn as your child, you know, starts growing up and you start putting and showing them different things. Are they going to like it? They may like something and then eventually they don't like it anymore. Or they didn't like something and now they do. That's the part of, you know, I started to learn, like, you know, maybe I'll just see if I could borrow it or just see if someone has something like that or, yeah. Another thing I noticed, too, was when going into the bathrooms and, oh, I started getting really good at packing her changing bag. Like, I always had, like, a changing pad that had, like, a little bit of foam inside. like a little bit of because sometimes i think i went to one bathroom one time and i forgot i didn't at this time i didn't pack a bag and there were no changing table right there's nothing so i remember i went back to my car to my husband i need my jackets and i needed to put down my uh my my My long– I wore a jacket, and I would put it down, then I would change it. I think I must have wore– I purposely wore long cardigans, but they were thin. So if I needed to put down– and I– I honestly didn't mind. You'd be like, gross. But me, you know, and I didn't wear it after. I made sure I just had it because if I had to go to the bathroom and I wore this long thin cardigan and on the floor, you know, a changing pad. I wanted to put my karigan on the floor and then I put the changing pad down because, you know, the floor would be cold, be hard. And I don't want her, you know, sometimes the baby, you know, babies, they crawl. I mean, their arms are flappy and they turn side to side. And the changing pad wasn't big. It was just enough, like, her height, size. I mean, her, you know, her body size. It wasn't like a big blanket. So that was one. Oh, and then this is when I started getting real good. For me, what worked is I had like a changing pad. You know how you have... a changing station in your bedroom. Well, I had an extra changing pad station. I don't know how I did that. Maybe I ordered one or someone gave me one. So I would leave that in the car. And I would leave that in the car, the changing pad. And then if we had to change her in the car for whatever reason, I would change her in the boot, in the back, you know, the boot, because I've been at the boot, and I had the pad, and I had all the things that I needed to, or on the side by the chair. Like, I just put the back chair down, I'll slide the pad over, and because it was large enough, and then I'll just put her in the middle, and I changed her. I started doing that too, so I just found it was just an extra, like a, and it didn't take up much space, I just had like a It's a little station. I put everything in a bag and I left it in the car or maybe I had like a little basket. I think I had a little basket and I had some just things in there. If I needed to change her stuff, it was fine. And if another parent, if they needed to say, oh, I have a changing station in my car. It wasn't fancy. I just kept it very practical. And I just made sure there were diapers, there was wipes, there was a disinfectant. There's always plastic bags and a toilet paper. I don't know why. Maybe the toilet paper was for me. If there was no toilet paper in the bathroom and I needed to go. So I When that stage was done, what's the point of this? I celebrated I didn't need to change her diapers. And I celebrated I didn't need to go through that hassle. And so I was so like, it felt like during that time, like I'm sure in the moments I was like, oh, tell my hubby, it's your turn to change her.

UNKNOWN: 19:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 19:30

And then I started getting really good at changing her. Like if I had to take her outside, if we're going to the park and whatever, I've got to change her in the car or in the bathroom, I've got to quickly change her on the floor. I had my routine done and I knew exactly and I always made sure you had spare clothes in the car just in case for those blowouts or whatever. But it was... At that time, just going through it, I was– sometimes I'm sure I'm thinking, is it ever going to end? And I wondered about that. But I just wanted to encourage you. It does end just to hang in there. And it's even better if you have someone to help you change those diapers too. So once that stage was finished, I– enjoyed it and then in the moment of okay now you go to a bathroom with your child you got to make sure um one can they go by them not by themselves i mean at the stage when she's eight i always go with her but i think at one stage in the beginning we would both go in the cubicle and And then I'm like, okay. Or she's like, mom, just stand out. I think now she's at that stage. Just stand out and put your foot out so she can see me and I can see her. I put my foot so visually she can see. Just those type of things. I tell you what, just celebrating things. The moments of what's it look like from diapers to potty training to going to the bathroom, but you still go to the bathroom together. Yeah. And I remember when my husband, you know, they went to go shopping and I told him she cannot go to the bathroom by herself. And so now there's family rooms, which I'm so thankful for, you know, a dad and a daughter.

UNKNOWN: 21:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 21:44

Because I'm just talking from that perspective or, you know, that she can go to the bathroom. But I was like, okay, because he can't go, you know, he didn't go to a woman's bathroom. He just took her in the bathroom. And the thing was, she was little. He just quickly, like, closed her eyes so she wouldn't see anything. Had to do her business if there was no family room. So thankful for those type of bathrooms where, you know, like a– a mom and a son or just things like that. But what else can I think about the moments? Another moment is I'm hoping you're celebrating your own moments during those times. For me, what did I do? I probably most likely just gave myself a high five and Like the changing pad, I ended up just giving them away. Like I think I had two. I think one's still under the bed. And Olivia uses it to put her toys on it or she'll use it for a jumping pad. I don't know what. I think I ended up giving it to another family too. I gave it away a lot. I didn't sell anything, but you might have some things that you might want to sell and make some money, and that would be awesome. I just gave most of it away to families that were starting, having their first child, or I just put it on the market, the Facebook market group. And we had one family. They came and they picked up all this stuff and it was funny. And then I said, hey, I haven't put this on the page, but would you like all of this as well? They're like, yeah. So I was like, take it, take it. And that's what I mean. Oh my gosh, celebrating those moments as your child is growing. Because it is... It goes through so fast. Have you ever, like, heard people say, and they're like, oh, you know, I'm going to, I don't know if they say just take, they grow up so quick and next minute, you know, they're going to, they're driving a car or going to college or moving out the house. And I was like, I'm just trying to get through this moment. I can't think about them. driving a car, my daughter driving a car or, you know, living somewhere else. But now that she's, you know, she's eight, I'm thinking, you know what? I can see her a little bit like doing more. I mean, now she's combing her own hair. I used to think, oh my goodness, I remember I had to comb her hair before. Even though they should say, mommy, can you comb my hair and braid it, blah, blah, blah, which is nice. But for the most part, she likes doing it on here. And I wonder, are you in that situation now, season, where you no longer need to always comb your child's hair because your child is You know, they like doing their own style, maybe the hairspray, the gel, or maybe there's particularly a way they like to comb it. I try to comb it as nice as possible. But I must admit, when I am in a rush, it does come out a bit ouchy for Olivia. She'll be like, Mom, ouchy, ouch. And I'll be like, hold still. Oh, my goodness, I crack myself up. But I wanted to encourage you so much, moms. Remember, you're doing the best, the best that you can with the time that's given. You are an amazing mom. And I wanted you to remember that. Please, as you are cooking dinner, making lunches, or even right now you're on the diaper stage. Or maybe you're in the tallest seasoning, you know, taking them taller training. Or maybe you're like, oh, I'm really at the teenage stage. I'm just wanting to remind you to tell you that you are doing the best you can with the time that's given, with the resources that you have, with the community you're in. And to be kind to yourself. Absolutely be kind to yourself. I hope you say to yourself, look, self, yee-haw! You're doing good. You're great. Because it takes time. I mean, you are investing so much into your child. And you're loving on your family. And that's what I mean. And there's so much like on... There's so many options available for you to pick. And maybe, you know, depending on what you're watching, you're not sure what to do. Should you go with A, B, C, D? I don't know. But I just want to keep encouraging. It's okay. I just try things that I feel... that would be good for me and my family, that's going to be good. And some things that I think is going to be good, it just doesn't work out. Like, oh, you know, no, that didn't really work out for us. That I try to celebrate the moments I go back or celebrate could be like, good job, everyone, you know, you're alive. Your family, your child is well-loved, your husband is amazing, and you are alive and well, and you've done good. So there you go, Mum. Celebrate the moments and the different seasons when you can that make sense for you. I mean, honestly, I would love to celebrate my moments by... Like going shopping, getting a massage. You know, I like eating lovely food. What's lovely food? Food that I'm not cooking. That's delicious. I would like that. So celebrate those moments. And remember, everyone is different and everyone has the same type of learning process. But you know what's best for your child and for your family because you are the one that's spending time learning their heart. And you're learning about yourself too. So always go by that. You're doing the best you can with the time that's given, with the resources that you have, with the community that you're in. So it's that time again. And I want to give a shout out to my two listeners. It is so encouraging. And I really do mean it because I'm always going to give a shout out to the last episode. So if you're wondering, when is she going to give a shout out? Well, Once I see you listen and I can get your location on the last episode, I will give you a shout out. So I really would love to give a shout out to my listener from Bristol, Connecticut. Thank you so much for listening. Awesome listener from Bristol, Connecticut and from Canada, Shawnigan Lake, Canada. British Columbia. I hope I got that right. So the two listeners that I have that listened to the last episode, I just want to say thank you so much. And if you're listening to this and you're like, wow, hi, I just listened. Add me in. Well, I'll catch you in the next episode and I will definitely give you a shout out. So once again, thank you very much for supporting and listening to this podcast, The Family of One. I will meet you in the next episode. Bye.