Sitter Tips, Barn Days & Staying Connected

In Episode 21 of The Family of One, I share how our summer break went, from finding a sitter through Care.com last year to what we did differently this summer.

I talk about Olivia’s time at the barn, how her watch helped us stay connected while we were at work, and a few tips that made this season smoother and more joyful.

If you’re a working parent looking for practical ways to keep your child safe, engaged, and independent during summer break, this episode is for you. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:04

Hi amazing only child moms, I'm Paul Comic, your part-time working man friend who loves Yahweh, family, and fan. Welcome to the Family of One, the week, your joys and adventures of raising an only child. Expect relatable stories, parenting laughs, and faith-filled tips. Let's make small family life enjoyable. Woo! Hi, and welcome back. Yes, it's your friend, and today's topic is back to school. Now, why do I choose to talk about back to school? Because that's where I'm currently at in the States. We had a summer break, and summer break, I think it was about for two months and a half. Though I think it was about two months. See, that's how you know it's a long summer break when you're not sure how many months it was. But for us, we tried something different. We had last year when Olivia had her summer break, she was in second grade. So we had I went on the website childcare.com and we uh had a sitter. I like to call her babysitter, but Olivia said it's not babysitting, mom. I was like, okay, then and then need someone to look after during the day, and then we had uh her grandparents, and then she went to friends. So during that time she got to do new things, and it was really interesting. I learned then because when I didn't I I I didn't realize how much even though she had gone to friends' house to play, just trying new things from her perspective as an only child, it was interesting to see because when we uh when we were looking for someone to, you know, uh uh uh look after her while we were both at work, but she was uh we made her part of the decision process. So she got to stay, she got to be in the interviews, she wrote down her question, and that was a good thing. I mean that in that way she can decide if she wanted if she liked that person or not. We ended up getting a college student, and she was amazing, and she had babysat for experience for many years. And so just for example, when she came, you know, we wanted her to and she was able to drive, you know, go and do things like the park, go to the locals, go to the zoo, uh, go for walks, and we didn't pay her, I said don't worry about cleaning the house and that, just really focusing on Olivia and just doing different activities and different experiences with her, and I just wanted her to have a great summer. And so she was really nice, but when she came over and it was time to go, she we had her, I think, for like two or three times, I think it was three times a week. The first day, Jeremy he was able to work from home, which was good. So, and I know not many people are able to, you know, they have the option, but we have an option where my husband is able to five days out one day out of the week, he's able to work from home, and so that helped Olivia to feel more comfortable, but as like the other days when he had to go into work, she was a bit she was a bit nervous, and she wasn't sure about oh my goodness, mom, and which was I was like, Okay, you know, you like doing and you know you're staying at home. And then I wondered, like, had she had another sibling, it would have been okay. But I know there's some I asked some other mums, and I I guess it just depends on your child, because another mum, her daughter is an only child, and they're like she's fine, you know, she'll go to anyone's home, you can drop her off for the first time, and she's just met them and she's fine. So I guess it's just the personality of the child. So how we got around it, here's a good tip if you have a if you're hiring a babysitter and your child is still needs more time to go and do things with the sitter, but they you know they want you to stay, but you can't say you gotta go to work. We ended up my sister, she's she recommended how about if you take her, tell her to go and visit grandma with the sitter, which was such a great idea. I was like, Oh yeah, so the days when my husband he was not here, because at first she just said I'll just stay home, stay home, stay home, but she didn't want to travel. Olivia didn't want to go anywhere, and we were like, Why don't you want to go anywhere? I mean, you can go and get ice cream, you can go to the park, you can go to the zoo. I mean, but she was like, No, I feel more comfortable, mom. I just don't I just don't know. I don't I don't feel comfortable with that. I don't trust her to go outside. And she'll say, What when if she we get lost, or what when if and she said, What when if she, you know, has a boyfriend? And these are really good questions. I mean, these are she's telling me about her feelings. So I was telling my sister, she said, Well, how about because you know we do you know, we we trusted her and we checked her out, and she was very good and everything, excellent references and everything. So we decided she's like, Well, how about you can send her to your you know, the grandparents, which is only about two minutes away from us, or grandma can come over here, but you want her to go out so she feels more comfortable, familiar place, and the sitter was really awesome. She goes, Oh, yeah, I can drive to I can drive her to grandma's and we can both stay there for a few hours, and it was such a good step, and it was practical and it was comfortable for Olivia. And so that's a tip. If you haven't to hire a sitter and your child is still nervous about going outside of the house, if you're able to send them both your child and the sitter to either visit a grandparent, either visit a friend that is your very close, a close friend that they can feel comfortable with. I would do that, I would send them there in that way. Just starting that, doing small takes is very it's very positive. It's a positive experience. And so that's if you have another resource too, if you're asking, you know, I would ask friends or family. It was good that I asked my sister and I said, Hey, I just needed some. What do you recommend? So sending her to her grandparents, which really sparked once she was had a positive experience, as she went there a few times with grandma and the babysitter, she ended up feeling she felt more comfortable to venture out to different places. So she went to the library. After going to the library, they ended up going to the ice cream store and then the local park. So by the end of the by the end of the summer break, she was very, very if she was very comfortable, and she was okay to go to different places, which was great. And so, but this year for summer break, what we were so happy with the place where we have our horse bored, and Olivia does her riding lessons, they provide child care. So there are adults working, the owner lives, it's a it's on her property, so she her house is right there, and she has people, uh trainers. Well, one of Olivia's trainers, and people work on the barn, you know, they come in early hours in the morning, and she has them, you know, at the barn, and so in the mornings, not only does she have summer camps from nine o'clock in the morning till two o'clock in the afternoon, if you're a child and you are work, you can be on the on the property longer. So we would take Olivia from 9 or 10 o'clock in the morning, and then when I finish work at 4 o'clock, we would sometimes pick her up at 5 or 6. And the great thing about this is uh because it was part of our boarding fee, she had people, old adults, there with her all the time, and other children. So she spent probably 99% of her time from Monday to Friday there, and it was so awesome for us because she is learning, she's continuing learning from the trainers, and she's also learning about barn life, cleaning the horses, uh, cleaning the stores, and they're teaching her so many hands-on experiences about raising and looking after horses and what that take what that looks like from a practical you know, from a practical ownership and responsibility. And because we had before we moved our horse to this barn, we the horse, we had her at a location closer to us. So she's she was about 10-15 minutes from our house, and every morning we would, or three times, three times a week, or it's actually more, three tim actually three times a week. Was it three times? Let's just say it was a lot of times going to the barn to do horse chores, and then we would go to work in the morning, and we did that for my three to four years, probably three years. Was it three? It felt long, honestly. I think three to four years uh going to the barn, doing work, and making sure because there was like three other horses there as well. So if you're wanting a horse, well, our process was where I started to I found a local place, a horse farm that we're looking for volunteers. Well, actually, I asked, I asked the owner, oh, are you look do you have a volunteer sign-up sheet? And I didn't know anything about horses, but I could clean. I said I could clean the office, I could clean the bathrooms, and that way Olivia could, you know, be by the horses. You know, there was a gate and you could just stand outside the gate and just see the horses when she was a toddler. So I did that for a good three months. I went there every day with Olivia as she was a toddler, and we would go on the weekends and I would just clean, clean, clean, clean the office, wipe down the walls. I didn't clean the stores, I didn't need to do that. Someone else did that. I just cleaned the bathrooms all that time and everything else. And then from there, I, as Olivia was getting older, you know, she wanted to start riding a horse, and then I looked around and then I found a local trainer. And then I asked her, so then, you know, you took you take riding lessons, and then from there, from lessons, I think it was about a year into it, she ended up the owner asked us if we wanted to lease her horse. And so from writing lessons, you know, just showing up and riding the horse, and then you go home from leasing, and now we had the responsibility of paying certain amounts towards the lease cost for the horse, so we would pay for the food. I think we paid like the farrier, like half of it, and just some of the hay, like the I don't know if we went halves, but there was some extra costs, and the benefit was if she wanted to ride the horse anytime, and we can come and see her on the property anytime within the open hours because it was on someone else's barn, so we did that, and we did that for another year, and that was really good because we had more hands-on about learning to clean the stores, and I think when we did the leasing, we were required to come up one day out of the week and learn how to take care of the other horses during their feeding time. So, for example, it would be like seven o'clock in the morning, we would have to go, and there's three other horses, so you bring all the horses in to the store to feed them, give them grain, and we learn how to do that and give them hay, and then once they we did that, we turned them out, we take them back out to the paddock. So it was only one day a week, and we did that for a year, and I think oh we we did other times as well because people weren't feeling well, you know. We they asked if we could help out if someone else was sick, so we did that for a year, and then after a year, the owner she said, Hey, I'm looking at selling. Would you like to buy the horse that you're leasing? Uh I tell you. Why am I going, huh? Well, here's the thing because I was not I didn't know anything about horses, and I'm still learning too. I didn't know if it was this horse, the love for horses was just like, you know, like I like I like swimming, I like my shoes, I like food, you know, I like ice cream, but I'll change my flavor. I didn't know if it was like that, but because and I was wondering, but I started talking to a lot of people who you know really love horses, and they're like, Oh, once your daughter loves horses, I tell you, you're stuck with it forever. And I was like, What do you mean by stuck with it? You can get unstuck, right? Because it's like anything, sometimes you just change. Well, we're still into this, so we end up buying the horse, and her name is Lola, and she's a Walara, which is a half Arabian and half uh Welsh. I think she has more Arabian because she's a pony, but she's got a lot of zoomies, she's a she's got a lot of spunk in her, I tell you what, and so we end up buying her and Olivia. I think she was like five years old when we purchased a horse, and now she's eight. And I tell you, leasing and owning a horse is too totally that's another level. I think it was really good for me just learning the different steps and responsibility. If you are listening and you're like, ooh, we yeah, I was so green, like all the horses looked the same to me. Like, I'm like, that's a brown horse, and Louie goes, um, it's not brown, it's bae. And I one time I got confused. I mean, we I've had the I had the horse, we purchased horse, and I think after two, I mean, within a year, maybe leasing the horse or something. I don't know. There's one time, and there was a quarter horse and our Walara, a pony, and I honestly thought they looked the same. And clearly now I can I can see they are not the same, they are not even the same height. But if you put like four horses out there and they're all brown, my husband and daughter could say, Oh yeah, I can see the difference. That's and I'm like, which one's our horse again? Which one is it? Like, and they're like, You don't know which one's Lola, and I'm like, look, they all have four legs and they all look very hungry and they all want to come in, so I think they just all look the same. And it took me a while, and it probably honestly took me like two years to know which one is our horse. So that is it, but now I can clearly say I know which one is our pony because she's a princess and the princess as well. That's riding her. Oh my goodness. But then my husband would say, I'm a princess as well. It's okay, because I love being a princess. Wait, am I did I just say that? Anywho, so yeah, that was a good step. Why am I on this topic? I don't know, maybe because okay, oh, because I was talking about summer, right? Summer break this year. So she ended up staying at the barn, which was amazing. So now that we have a routine next year, once again during summer break, she goes back to the barn, and now we've gotten to a routine of where she's gonna go. And so if you're in that season where and you're in the United States, and you're like, oh my goodness, I'm not a stay-at-home mom. I work, you know, full-time or part-time, and I gotta go out there and I need to find my uh sitter for my child. I for me, before Olivia went to the bar, I always started, I started early. I mean, I had friends who have multiple children, and they're like, we don't think about it to like really two weeks or a week before the school is out. And I'm already on it like Donkey Kong. By February, I'm like, okay, where's she gonna go? April, I'm serious. I'm booking my cities because in May, really in February, I start I start planning the schedule. Who can I ask? Making sure that she's going to places so she's doing things, because by May, you know, that's when school is out, and then they go back in August. So May, June, July, August, yeah, about three months, two and a half months, or three for some schools. So if you are in that season or you're gonna be in that season, like this year, you're listening to the podcast, you're like, okay, um, next year I'm I gotta start looking. I would I would look at care.com and what I did with care.com, I I how did I come across that website? I was just like asking people around, or I think maybe it was on Google, but what worked for us is that I had I asked for a Zoom call. I said, you know, can I send you a Zoom link that way we can meet you online and you can see us, and that way Olivia could see that. As well and ask questions, and so she felt comfortable, you know, that at least she gets to see the person who may be looking after her uh during the summer and as well. And then I invited my grandparents. Like, if any of you want to jump on during this call, or and then I asked the city as well, if you feel comfortable, any of your family members, because me uh, you know, you're gonna meet, you're gonna be part of our family during that summer break, and I want to make sure that everybody knows who you are, and you're with our child, and everybody feels comfortable, and also right now, so this season, we also got her a watch, and I really should tell you what it is. It has like a phone on it, because a friend of mine, she she has multiple children, but her daughter, she'll say, Oh, you know, I was thinking of giving her my phone, so if she needed to call me, that would be she's able to call me straight away, even though the owner and all the trainers have our cell phone number, so anytime our child feels like they need to reach out to a parent or they need a call, they can just ask anyone, but it's just an extra comfort. So we ended up going different route. We that they do call us and text us, but we gave Olivia a watch, and it has like she can call, she can text us, you know, we can track her where she is, and it's really good because I think there was one time there was a storm and I was at work, and it's an hour away, the barn where she goes for her writing lessons, and where we board Lola, it's an hour, so it was really good. She was like, Mom, there's a storm coming, come pick me up. An hour away. I mean, I made it there, not it was fine, the storm had passed, but her she felt like that extra hug that she could talk to me during the storm, and then I I could be with her knowing that even though she was with the other trainers and they're all safe and she's with the kids, she felt like okay, I mom's coming, everything's gonna be alright, and everything was alright. So that might that's something now we're in that season where if she goes to places, she will have a watch on and she'll call us and text us, and the text scenes are a lot, like she just speaks into it, and then it just I get it as a text, so it dings a lot. Sometimes I gotta put it on silent because at work it'll be going bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing. But it's funny because when I send her a message, she was like, Mom, I'm at the bar, and it's you know not a good time right now. I was like, excuse me, you were just like ding ding ding. I love you, what are you doing? I love you, and I'm thinking, oh, she must be on her lunch break because she's taking pictures and I'm getting all this notification. It is hilarious. So, you know, as your child is growing up, you're gonna use different different ways to stay connected. Now, her watch, she cannot go online, it's just purely just the call and send messages, and it's really cool. I really should send a link or what type of watch is it. But we so far, and we pay a subscription, we enjoy it. And if she doesn't answer the phone, like if we call them and we ring and we ring for so long, it will show us not only the location, but it will bring up like the camera so we can literally see where she's at as a security, another security way of making sure where is our child. So that's it. I just wanted to give you two tips about, and it's so different because goodness, she's eight years old, she's grade three. What does that mean? She's just growing up, and so I hope that for those who are in the United States that had summer break. I hope you had a great summer break, and you're able to do new things and new experiences. For us, this was new because she got to stay at the barn, and that's the place where she wants to be. She'll rather be at the barn with the horses, with the trainers, learning and growing, and just you know, being with her pony. But yeah, so if there's another website that you can recommend, please, you know, reach out, let us know because you might have a better option. You might know a website, or you may know a different way that could benefit others, uh, where to find awesome people to babysit your child. I just want to give a shout out to my listener who listened to the last episode from United Kingdom. The city is Birmingham. I just want to say thank you very much for listening to the last episode. I really appreciate that, and also just want to remind your mums: you are the best mom for your child. You're doing the best you can with the time that is given with the resources you have, and I just want to continue to encourage you to take care of yourself, to say nice things to yourself. Yeah, say nice things to yourself and take the time that whatever that looks like for you to celebrate your wins. I mean, you are the best mom for your family, you're the best wife for your husband. I mean, I tell myself I am doing the best I can whether I'm at work, and yes, there's some days where I could do better, honestly, but I am doing the best after I have a good nap. Once I have a good nap, I am good to go. Thank you for listening to the Family of One Child podcast. I absolutely appreciate it. Please send me a text, send me an email, let me know that you're enjoying this podcast. And next week I have a surprise. I am bringing in my sister. So we are going, I'm gonna be uh her and I just gonna be chatting, and it's gonna be fun, and I'm glad you all will finally get to meet her. Oh, actually, here on the podcast. Take care, meet you in the next episode. Bye.