I Thought She’d Always Hold My Hand

I knew this moment would come, but I didn’t expect it last week.
I asked my 8-year-old daughter to hold my hand as we headed into the shops, just the two of us. She replied, “No thanks, I’m not a baby.”
It was honest. It was true. 
I always imagined she’d hold my hand forever. But reality has its own rhythm. This moment made me wonder: What other little things will quietly shift as she grows?
🎧 Tune in for a gentle reflection on letting go, growing up, and holding space for change.... while trying not to cry in public when it happens. lol

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:04

Hey amazing only child mums, I'm Paul Comic, your part-time working mom friend who loves Yahweh family and fun. Welcome to the Family of One where we share joys and adventures of raising an only child. Expect relatable stories, parenting laughs, and faithful tips. Let's make small family life enjoyable. Woo! Hi and welcome back. So glad you're here. I want to talk about things that take you by surprise, or you knew it was coming, but then you realize when it happens, you're like, Oh, I'm not ready to let go. For example, now my daughter is eight, and when we go shopping, her and I, like last week, we were just buying, you know, going through the stores, and we got out of the car, and I said, Oh, and I naturally went to go to hold her hand, and she was like, Mom, what are you doing? I was like, I just want to hold your hand. Don't you want to hold my hand? And she was like, No, and I was like, Why? Why do you want to hold my hand? And she said, Mom, I'm not a baby anymore. And I was like, Oh my goodness. And so I said, Okay, then that's fine. So I just started walking, and then I looked at her and I said, Okay, do you want to hold my hand now? You want to hold my hand? And I was thinking, I wonder, this is a topic I'm gonna bring up in podcasts. Because I was thinking, is it just me or other moms who have just experienced this? For example, and I'm sure there's plenty of things. So then I asked my daughter again, like we went in this store, and then as we're coming out, we're walking to go into another store, and I was like, Do you want to hold my hair now? She was like, Mom, I'm not a baby anymore. I I'm okay, mom. And I said, Is it because it's just weird because you're gonna be nine next year? Or she was like, Yeah, mom, I'm a big girl now, and I was like, and then I try to justify it. I was like, Well, you know what? When I go out shopping with dad, dad holds my hand, your father holds my hand, and I was like, Well, that's kind of a different relationship. She goes, That's your husband. I said, Yeah, you're right. And I said, Well, that is your father, that is your father, your dad, and and I was like, and then I was looking at and I had this, I try to put like a sad look on my face, like, can you hold my hand? And then I was trying to say, When can you hold my hand? And then she looked at me, she goes, Mom, please stop. So I thought, oh my goodness, why did I not see this coming? One day my daughter would not want to hold my hand, and then I said, Well, when we when we crossed the road, she said, Okay, you can you can hold my hand, I'll hold your hand then. And I said, Would that be the only time? And then I was trying to tell her when I was your age and my mom, I would hold my hand, my mom's hand, whenever she wanted, or even when I was a teenager. My mom had me in like in the late 30s, and so when we when I did go shopping with her and she wanted to hold my hand, I always held her hand, and I was like, Don't you want to hold my hand? And she was like, No, I don't want to hold your hand, and so I was like, Oh my goodness, she's all growing up and she doesn't want to hold my hand. And you're probably you might be laughing, you're thinking, really? When does an eight-year-old want to hold their mom's hand? In my mind, I thought she would always want to hold my hand. It doesn't matter if she's eight or eighteen. Like when we go shopping, I just envision the two of us going shopping, holding each other's hand, no matter how old she is. Well, seriously, on the Friday last week, November 2025, she said, No thanks. I'm good, mom. You can hold your own hand. So I thought, oh my goodness, what else is there? What else? Like, for example, now she can, you know, get dressed, she picks her own clothes, and I'm okay about that because I thought, oh, I don't want to get your clothes ready, not all the time. I mean, yes, every now and then I'll get her clothes if she's running late, but I know she can do her own clothes, or pull her laundry away, things like that, and what else? Vacuuming. I don't mind she does that because that's like helpful. Thank you very much. But going shopping, oh my goodness. I just maybe I will always see her as my little baby, and I wonder if that's other mums as well. So I was speaking to a good friend of mine in the weekend, and she has a daughter who is eight years old, and I well, she has she has uh three other children, so I said to her, and they're a lot older, and I said, Hey, does your child does she still hold your hand when you go shopping? And she was like, No, uh, she only holds my hand when we cross the road, but no, and I got the tone that she hadn't been holding her hand for maybe like some time, which I just discovered my daughter doesn't want to hold my hand last week, just a few days ago, and I was like, What? She goes, Oh no, she doesn't hold my hand. And I was like, My daughter just told me last week, just told me on Friday a few days ago, she's okay now. I don't have she doesn't need to hold my hand, and my friend was laughing. I was like, Oh, I miss that, and then I and then here, here's the funny part. So, as we're doing going shopping throughout the evening, right? I'm like telling my daughter, you know, and I I just won't drop this topic, and I was saying to her, you know, you know how sometimes we like to do things to feel comfortable, like you may have a soft toy when you go to sleep, or you may need something to help you feel comfortable. Mummy, when she goes like and then I compared it to a goat, like a horse, like when you have a when you own a horse, it's a good idea. Horses, they like another horse, they're like you gotta give that horse like a either another horse or an animal. I don't know, it's like a comforter. I said, and you know how like a horse, right? Well, for me, I'm like I need another animal, a support emotional animal. So I like to hold people's hand, I like to hold your hand when we're going shopping or we're walking down the road, or I like to hold daddy's hand, it's a a support emotion, it was and I said it's just for me. Like it's I know you two are fine, but it's just for me. She was like, Mom, I'll think about it, but I would definitely hold your hand when we're walking across the road. But I was like, fine, and then I was thinking to myself, what are the things? What are the things that I hold on to? I hold on to dearly because I don't want to let that part go as she is growing up and she is becoming more and she can do more things herself that I'm gonna struggle with. Well, there's probably gonna be a lot apart from the chores. I want her to do them herself, like get her lunch ready, lunchbox, you know. Well, now she can even comment on here. I mean, she has been doing that for some time, so every now and then, like if she wants a a braid or a ponytail or a certain way or a hairstyle, she'll ask me, but for the most part, she does it herself. And I was thinking, I cannot be the only one who feels this way. So I wonder, I'm wondering, when that happened to you, did you get like a little bit surprised, sad, that your child said, It's okay, you don't need to hold my hand? And then I was thinking, because I have a daughter, what happened? Well, I mean, if I had a son, does a mom and a son, when they're like of a certain age, they don't want to hold their hand? I mean, in my mind, like seriously, I thought it doesn't matter as a teenager, or if she's 20 or 30, she's always gonna hold my hand. I'm laughing now, but you're probably thinking, Really? You thought your daughter was always gonna hold your hand. And I I'm saying to myself, yeah, I really, you know, had that in my mind. Yeah, she said no. There you go. Well, just because she said no, it doesn't mean I'm not always gonna try every now and then and ask her, do you want to hold my hand while we're walking around the shops? You know, gotta give it a go. But here at what I can do to give a shout out to my listeners who listened to the last episode, and it's Mend Lord Decahond, Toronto Otar Otaro, and Simsbury, Connecticut. And I apologize if I did not pronounce those cities properly, but I just want to say thank you very much to those listeners and for your support. So I always do it from the last episode. If you listened to the last episode and I did not give a shout out to you, I apologize, but when I film it, the day I record my episode, that's when I check the listeners, and also I want to give a shout out to the email. Now, here's the funny thing, ladies. The reason why I wasn't receiving any emails is because I had the wrong email address. So, how is anybody able to write or send me an email if it's not the correct one? So here is the email. It is at oh my goodness, it is at joyfulgathers co. at hotmoule.com. So joyfulgathers co so it's J-O-Y-F-U L G A T H E R S C O at Hotmile.com. If you want to give me an email and let me know what do you want me to talk about, or what topics are you interested in, or you can give me a text on Buzz Sprout. If you're listening through the Buzz Sprout app, there is a button where you can just send me an a text straight away, and that way we can communicate. Another way is because I also put put this on YouTube. You can send me an a message on YouTube in the comment section, and I will definitely reply back. I really I'm really interested in listening and reading to the moms who listen to this podcast. Let me know what you think. Let me know what topics you want to talk about or want to discuss or you want me to give feedback. And also if you are or if you're interested, you're interested in being on this podcast, I would love to get to know you and also our listeners who also are listening to this podcast. So getting back to the topic, you know, when things when you get surprised, when your children surprise you, and so I was thinking of other things like what was I not ready? For example, we were going to a restaurant and we're having a meal, and usually when we go, when we all and we always go to the bathroom, it's time to go to the bathroom. I always go with her, but she was like going to the restaurant, it was a fast fast food restaurant. My husband went to go and order the food, and I made a beeline to go and sit down at the the booth at our table, and I thought she was behind me, and then I thought she went with my husband to go and order, go and stay, go and get our order, and then she came running back and I said, Did you go with dad to get your order? And she goes, No, I went to go quickly wash my hands at the bathroom. And I went, What you went by yourself? Now you're thinking, Really? Well, why? Because I always tell her, You always go in twos, like mommy always comes with you, and she was really quick. She goes, Because we always go to this fast food restaurant on a certain day, she's like, I was just quick, but I'm just quickly went in there, washed my hands, and came out. I was thinking, Oh, she didn't even ask me if I wanted to go with her. And then I was thinking, Why am I getting sad with not washing? You know, she doesn't want to hold my hands. There's certain times. Now she's washing hands by herself. And I remember I said to this friend, I was like, you know what? As my daughter is growing up, I am preparing myself to get alive. What does it mean? Because I want to say, look, my there's some point where my daughter is wanting to, as we're learning and discovering and doing the activities together when she was a lot younger, and as she's growing up, I'm thinking, man, you know, she I hear it from people who have moms who have older children, you know, they don't want they don't want you to hang out with them anymore, they want to do their own things, they want to be with their friends, and maybe they want to spend more time with their friends. And I was thinking, oh my goodness, that might be me. I mean, as much as my daughter loves to spend time with me, she may pick her friends over me. So I've been telling myself, one, I need to get my own life, two, I need to make sure I have friends, and three, I better enjoy what I do because there's gonna be a point where she's gonna, you know, eventually not want me as much. And if I don't know what I'm doing, if I don't have my own things, then I'm gonna struggle when she goes to either university or where she who where she works and has her own friends, I don't know, but I thought, oh my goodness, it's gotta be just me and my husband at home. And I I better get I better get something ready for myself. So in the last few years, I'm like, that's it. I need to I need to make sure I'm prepared for this. But even though I feel like okay, like just doing this podcast and having created the the period book and starting my own Joyful Gathers publishing company and just doing projects on the side, I'm thinking like one, I do enjoy them, and two, it helps me to be creative and stay creative and just explore new things, but then I'm thinking, well, I'm I'm still thinking I'm gonna cry when she does her own thing, and I wonder, is it because I don't know, maybe because when you know, as a mom, you know, with an only child, maybe it's natural for us to want to like hold on. I mean, I hear conversations when my friends with multiple children, they'll say, Oh, this is my you know, at least this is my middle child, so you know, it's okay because I still got my baby and I'll hold on tight to my baby, my baby. Or I remember this one mom said, Well, you know, I'll just have one more child. I don't know, maybe I misinterpret that wrong, but I was like, you know, for us, there's no more one child, it's just my daughter, and we're not having another one. And I wonder holding on tight even more for her, it's just a natural way for me to like kind of be sad, but then I'm like, okay, I'm in a new season, and this is weird because she's only eight. I mean, if you're listening to this and you have a child who's way older, and you're thinking, Oh my goodness, you'll you'll be okay. Each stage or each season, sometimes it gets easier, and then sometimes you cry, and then you like that season, and then you just celebrate it, and then you you move on. But if your kid is a lot younger, I'm thinking, like, is this ever gonna end? Like, oh my goodness, they're always wanting me, I'm really tired, I'm not sleeping, this baby just is not a good sleeper, or or I'm always picking up that or like I'm having to change a diaper, or whatever. You know what? That stage now. I can't even it's funny because when she was that at that stage changing diapers, and you know, you had to feed them, give them a bottle or breastfeed, and you hardly had any sleep, and you're wondering when is this gonna end? I don't really remember maybe it's a blurb, I don't really remember, and one because she was a good sleeper, so that that didn't really bother me. But now that it goes so quick when you hear so and maybe you you have you've probably heard when people say, Oh, you know, love this time, spend time with them because it goes super fast. I mean, it sure does for us. Some days are fast, and some days are like, can someone just press the pause button because I'm not ready for that? Or sometimes I think, oh my goodness, like there's moments when we're at the barn because we have a horse, and we used my and her dad, like her father would used to help her do certain things, and now when we go to writing lessons at the barn, uh, she'll say to us, Oh, don't worry, dad, I got it. And so he'll sit next to me and she said, No, I know how to do this, I know how to take up the horse, or I know how to put the saddle on or do whatever. Every now and then she'll call us and we just sit and watch her. And I said to her, I said to Dad, I was like, She doesn't need you for that anymore. And he goes, No, she said that she's good, and I'm like, Oh, I remember. So we just sit and look at her, wait till she wants us to help with something, but for the most part, just watching her. One, because she's a good student, if you teach her, she'll learn, and two, you know, just having to step back and trust that moment where she said, I'm okay, I'm good, I don't need you. You know, you've taught me well. I mean, I like to say that she's saying all these things in her mind instead of go sit down. I got it. I like to say, I like to interpret that as an you're wonderful parents, you're so amazing. You have taught me so much, and I have learned. So you can just sit sit down and relax and just see just how wonderful you are. I mean, yeah, she doesn't. Say that she's like, No, thanks. So I got it. Just saying, if you haven't experienced that yet, it will come, and maybe it comes in different things for different parents. But here's an encouraging word for you that you are doing so awesome that your kid, for whatever reason, if they say it's okay, I got it, you don't need help. Congratulations, you have taught them well. You know, they're confident and they're able to do that thing that you've told or taught them patiently, you know, show them, set them up for success. I mean, well done, well, well, well done to you, and you're doing the best you can with the time that's given with the resources you have. I mean, you are amazing. Did you say to yourself that you're amazing? I hope you did. I hope when you listen to this podcast, the Family of One Child Podcast, that you are saying to yourself, you are amazing, mom, you're amazing wife, you are the best mom for your child, for the child of one, and you are doing everything, like you're giving encouragement, you're loving on them, you're supporting on them to your child, to your husband, and to yourself. That's a lot. And so I wanted to continue on encouraging you to tell yourself when you're by yourself, when you're in the you know, looking at the mirror, you're getting yourself ready, or maybe you're driving, you're in the car, or maybe you're going for a walk, you know, just celebrate who you are, and just appreciate what you do. I mean, like once again, I tell my friends, if you want to, if you want to have a friend, you need to be start being a friend to yourself. You know, appreciate what you have, appreciate what you got. You're thinking, what do you mean what I got? Well, you're a wonderful encourager to yourself and to your child. And for them to able to start doing things on their own and being confident about it, and they say, No, I'm okay, I'm got it. Or, you know, I'm a big kid now, I don't need to hold your hand. But I still think when it comes to crossing the road, like I asked her, Well, when we cross the road, can you hold my hand? She said yes. And I'm still gonna keep her on that no matter how old we are. Even for a teenager, I'm gonna ask her, can you please hold mama's hand? Because it's more of a comfort for me. Or maybe I'll have to come up with some other lines, like, oh, one eye's not working. I need oh no, one eye, or maybe I can't walk that fast, and I need to hold someone's hand. I don't know, who knows? I'll let you know how that goes. But anyway, I just wanna I wanted to share that with you, and then you know, I I maybe you're listening and you're laughing, or maybe you're listening, like, what in the world is she going on about? But I hope in some way that maybe you're a lot further ahead than me, and you're thinking, yeah, I experienced that when my child like she could make her own lunch and she didn't need me to make lunch, or maybe they my child was able to, I don't know, didn't need me to help her with their homework because they could do it themselves. I started to find that out now. You know, when Olivia has homework, okay. I should tell if she was here, she's like, Mom, tell the whole whole truth. Well, when it comes to certain subjects like math and English, for some reason, for math, story problems and math, that gets me a little bit of a trouble, and so she'll be like, Mom, that is wrong. And then she'll read the story to me, the problem, and then she'll come up with a solution. I mean, I used to like think about like I just give her a trick and I'll give her a totally wrong answer, like you know it's wrong, and she'll be like, Mom, that's not what it's saying. So she would read it and work it out herself, and then tell me the correct answer. So, and then sometimes she'll be saying, I'll be saying, and I really don't know. Like, I used to pretend, but now I really don't know. And then her father would, he's a lot better at math, and you're thinking, Really, what grade is this? I think he was like, Is it second grade? It's third grade math. Oh my goodness. Anywho, so I'm just saying math at third grade, some problems I cannot do it, story problems. But my husband, he's really good at academics, so he helps you with math and English, and so she was like, Ah, I will do it, or if her father's if her dad is helping her, she'll be like, Dad, I can do it and just check it to make sure my homework is correct. So, what am I saying? Most times there are most things that I started to notice she is wanting to take back and be more responsible or be more independent, and that other than me just helping her keep her accountable, especially like this certain things, chores, they're still like I don't know if that's gonna be an ongoing, like I gotta remind her, or I just don't pay her when it comes to her chores. There's certain chores that she does do that she gets paid for, and I'll be like, Nope, I you didn't do that, so that's not gonna work, but otherwise, I just wanted to let you know that if you're going through this, you are not alone. Like, you know that you are not alone, and so there's gonna be things, and I wondered, I bet if I talk to other mums who have I should ask my other friends with an only child or even multiple children at different ages, I wonder it's just part of them growing up, it's not even a an only child thing. I believe it's not, but once again, here you know that's all part of growing up and parenting, I suppose. And I'm only uh and I'm only eight years old, meaning she's only eight, and I've got a long I am still learning, and like I'm telling myself, I am doing the best I can with the time that's given, with the resources I have. And so saying that, I just wanted to say if you also are having, you know, you're wanting to have conversations about you know how things like the period. I have you know, I started a book, I wrote a book about the period, and it's gentle, it's just a gentle way to introduce the topic, which has helped myself and Olivia, that's my daughter's name. It has helped us have conversations about other topics, you know, with the body, and it has been such an eye-opener. So when I get my period, I'll say, Hey, mom's got her period, so she understands about just enough for I mean, she doesn't understand like pre-menopause because I'm trying to understand about pre-menopause myself. I mean, but since writing the book and reading it to her and showing it, it has opened up other conversations. So if there's like a topic and you're thinking, man, I wish there was a just a gentle way of introducing it because you are needing that help, reach out to me. And one, if you're interested in the period book, reach out either through email or send me a text and Buzz Sprout, the podcast, or leave a comment on my YouTube and comments in the comment section. I will get back to you. Okay, well, thank you for listening once again to the Family of One Child podcast. This is for your friends. So remember if you're listening to this, we're friends. Take care, and I'll meet you in the next episode. Bye.