Perimenopause and Parenting Exhaustion

Welcome back to The Family of One Child. In this episode, I dive into the reality of some midlife moms may face: the overlap of perimenopause and parenting exhaustion.
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why am I so tired all the time? Is it just me, or do other moms feel this too?” you’re not alone. I share funny, real-life triathlon stories (yes, I did three in my late 30s before becoming a mama!) and highlight comments from other moms navigating perimenopause while raising kids.

Tune in for humor, honesty, and encouragement as I explore the challenges of midlife motherhood, parenting one child, and finding strength in shared stories.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:04

Hi amazing only child moms, I'm Paul Comic, your part-time working man friend who loves Yahweh, family, and fun. Welcome to the Family of One, which your joys and adventures of raising an only child. Expect relatable stories, parenting laughs, and faith-built tips. Let's make small family life enjoyable. Woo! Welcome back, friend. So if you're listening to this, we're friends. And if you're like we're not friends, okay, then well, I'm just gonna call you an nice acquaintance. Thank you for listening to the podcast of the Family of One Child. My name is Fora. So I'm gonna say for your friend, because you might come back. Hopefully, you do. And today I'm diving into the topic of pre-menopause. A lot of mums that are midlife age, for example, I'm 49, and sometimes going through pre-menopause and parenting can be tired. And if you thought, tired, I'm not tired, you amazing. Because you might have better resources, you might have things that you do that will seriously help one of well, help me. So I would love to hear your story as a mother of one who's in her 40s and up, who's gone through pre pre-menopause, and then I'm not tired because I do have friends and they're not tired, but maybe you can relate to me and you're like, oh boy, I am like oh so I wanted to talk about being exhausted, where you're exhausted and you meet pre-menopause alongside of the pathway. So I'm gonna share some online comments that I have read from other moms, and the reason why I'm gonna share that because maybe when I share one of these comments, you may be able to relate to one of the moms, and then maybe when I add in my experience, you may be able to relate to mine or not, but at least you get a different type of perspective. So the first one, let's start with the reality of exhaustion, where you meet pre-menopause, it's almost like my name is I'm exhausted, and then this other thing pops up. I'm pre-menopause, and you're like, I don't want to be buddies with you, depending on how you are. Okay, so I'll get on with it. The first mom she said, I am so tired now. That I'm pre-menopause, I'm even more tired, and I had this nagging feeling, I'm always be way too old for his big milestones. She has this nagging feeling she's gonna always be way too old for his big milestones. Another one is I'm exhausted, exhaustion is permanent. It's it was easier when younger and endless energy for kids. I read it again. Exhaustion is permanent, it's easier when younger with endless energy for kids. Now that's a good one because I'm thinking because I had Olivia when I was 40, and now that I'm 49, and she's she's gonna be nine soon, and I tell you, the energy that I had at 40 is a different energy that I have at 49 and going through pre-menopause. I'm a lot more tired, and I like to say move around is a lot, but it's different. I'm not doing I'm not doing trieth lons now. I used to do triathlons. Now, here's the thing: I would bike and I could swim and run, but the biking was my strongest. So here's a funny story. So this is when and you would swim, and it maybe it was like half a mile, it was very it wasn't short, I didn't even think it was a mile, but where we swam in the lake, the water was short enough for me to run across it. So can you imagine me running underwater? I could run faster than swim. I mean, I I could say that because I was passing people under the water as they were swimming. But here's the thing: so you're just seeing my head bopping along the water, I'm bopping along the water and I'm running as fast as you can. But then I realized maybe I should put some arms in front of me. Because if someone sees my head zipping under the water, as quick zipping across the water as fast as possible, and passing a few swimmers, I'm looking weird. So then I started realize put your arms out and just put and just act like you're swimming. Like, but you know there's definitely no no there's no legs cooking because you're you're running under the water. Anyhow, so that's what I did. My biking was the strongest, my swimming was ridiculous, and then the the running, oh my word, can I just say that the running about killed me? I I can only run if there's an emergency. Meaning, if you need me to call 911 in America because I have to run, or is it 111 in in New Zealand and some other countries? I am telling you, I am your girl, I will not let you down. I mean, I won't be as fast as many other people, but I'll get there if I have to call. But here's the thing: so I would run to the first, for example, if you're running on the street, which we were, the track, and then you run, and I thought, okay, if I just get to that mailbox, and then I'll walk to the next one, and then I'll get to the mail. So I had these little what do you call markers in my mind. But as soon as I saw someone, I said, I'm just gonna run it. I will run so much, and then I would stop when there's no one looking. And it was so funny because my first my first trion that I did, a local news photographer, you know, someone from the newspaper, I can't remember where, but he was telling taking pictures of the athletes that were coming by, and I looked hilarious. My face was like, I can't even describe it. It looked like I was in so much pain running, my mouth was open, my head was slant, my eyes, I mean, and my legs, and my husband and I, we were laughing. He was like, What? Because you had to look for the number, and because on the day they said there's a photographer there, and he's taking pictures, and so if you would like your picture, just type in your number and and you know, maybe there'll be a photo of you. So you type in your number and just look up what photos were taken of you, and oh my goodness, I don't think I think I downloaded one because I thought it was hilarious, but let's say that yeah, next time I think I did a few more, and this is how this is where I don't know happened. I in my there was about at least a hundred in one of the events, or maybe it was 200, and I thought, as long as I don't come last, I come second to last, but last I don't want to come last. That was my goal, and let me tell you, I did not come last. I probably came like third, third to last, or second to last, or who knows what. But in my age group, I would have been like 40, like four, like 39 or something in the 40s, but they put me in the 40s because there weren't many people at the time in women's. I actually won my I actually won one, and then I think I won the bike in, and it was so funny because I when I finished and completed the race for those who have done triathlons, you can wait around and you know, you maybe you know, there's prizes, and I'm thinking there's no way I'm getting a prize, and two, I am so tired because you have to get there super duper early, and when I finish, I just pack my stuff and go, and then I thought I'll look up online to see where I I come, and then I realized I actually won in my event, like in my age group, and there might have been like three of us in our age group, but I won that one and I could have got an award, so that was funny. Why am I telling you that? Because maybe because it said it was easier when younger with endless energy. Yeah, I do not have the energy to do a triathlon. Now, maybe you're listening to this and you're thinking, I'm really good at biking, I can swim, and I definitely can run underwater, I can run faster. I tell you, and you can you can bike or make whatever. But there was another triathlon that I did that was biking, running, and canoeing, and I like that because I'm really good at canoeing. I love to canoe that I mean not right now, but in my 30s, I tell you what, I thought it was pretty good. Now, I didn't come anywhere in my age group at that time, but I know I I did not come last again, so I did pretty good. Okay, the next one is lack of sleep hits harder post 40. That is so true, and I'm gonna learn. Here's my experience. I'm gonna add this on for me sleeping now. For me, it's at three o'clock in the morning. I wake up between three to four. Those are the my magical hours, and I say magic because I'm either going to the bathroom multiple times, or I am getting a glass of water because I'm really thirsty, and then I go back to the bathroom, or I'm just wide awake, so I'm either just talking to Jesus about lots of things, or I'm just online and I'm thinking, you know what? Did I finish that movie that I was watching? Like I'm doing something, and I really am trying to sometimes, not all the times, I'm like, oh, just go to sleep. I am still trying to figure it out how to relax. Some days are better, some days are okay, but before I could I did sleep well, but I mean, and I love sleep. But during those times, like it's three o'clock in the morning, so maybe you have something. Okay, next one is part two is mom guilt and milestones fears. This is what these mums have shared about online. Okay, mom guilt and milestones fear. That is a that's a real thing. Okay, this mom said, I barely made it through. I am bleep bleep kindergarten graduation. I want to be everything I can for him, but I feel I fail before I get out of bed every day. So I'll just read again. She's like, I barely made it through BB kindergarten graduation, and I want to be everything I can for him, but I feel, but I feel like I failed before I get out of bed every day. Oh my goodness, some days are like that. I mean, wow, I mean, oh my goodness. Okay, next one is another mom said, I feel the major mom guilt every day for not being able to be the mom I want to be. Oh my goodness, I have said that. I know I have said that, and if I have not said that out loud, I know I have felt that at some point. Like that is true. You know, this mom's saying, I feel the major mom guilt every day from not being able to be the mom I want to be. I know I have said that sometimes. And the next one is it's frustrating to watch younger moms keep up effortly while I'm dragging myself through the day. I I don't know if I've said that, but I probably have felt it. Meaning, my eyes, I could just see myself like it's frustrating to watch younger moms, and maybe I'd probably be more frustrated if like would I be frustrated if I was going shopping and I could see younger moms with an only child, and they're doing things. Maybe it's plain sports, like if they were small it's got to be like okay, maybe at the fair, like we have an Alcott County fair, and there's animals, and there's like different rinds, and and there's so many things, and maybe they fit in all these small spaces. And your girl here, she's very generous size, and I can't fit in these small car, you know, mechanical things, and I gotta get my behind in there and to do it over and over and over again, or go down this longer slide at the fair, you know, and I'm like, oh my goodness, my back, my body, and walking up the steps, and maybe I see another mom with an only child, and she is just like killing it, and I'm like, oh my goodness, I've gotta be, I gotta go, but I'm I know I need to go to the spa or I need to go to the chiropractor the day afterwards. Woo wee. So this mom said it's frustrating to watch younger mums keep up with effortsly while I'm dragging myself through the day. And it's funny, I for me and my personality, I'm probably more laughing now when I watch it on YouTube because I've learned where I see moms online and they're posting things that they're doing with their you know younger child, and I'm laughing because I'm like, oh my goodness, that was me. And today, I mean, I am active, I'm just active in a different way. But I know my daughter, if she was here, she'd be like, You're active in your sleep, and I'd be like, I would love to be more active in my sleep. Oh my goodness, someone help me. Okay, the next one is energy hacks and real solutions. Now, here it is because I'm gonna reach out. You have an energy hack, I mean, like it has worked for you. For example, you're like, Okay, how about drinking water? It does great. Because I'll be like, Do I drink water? Some days are good, and some days, like, I gotta have my coffee, I gotta have my pop, I am drinking so much caffeine. Is it good? No, not really, it's not. So you may have like an energy hack that is like, hey, maybe you do like not yoga, but maybe you do something else, like I just go for walks, or I oh this this lady, she was having lunch, and she was playing an app on her phone, but it was birds, and I was in the dining room, and I was like, What is that noise? Because it's inside, and I was looking outside, like, are there birds in here? Is there wildlife going on that someone just opened up the window? And it's winter, it's winter right now, so I knew that there are no birds flying around, and there was no like but she had it on and it helped her to relax while she was having lunch. No, she did not mind one bird playing that while everyone was eating. She had it loud enough for her at the time there wasn't a lot of people in the dining area, but she had it where she played it, where it helped her to enjoy her meal until her friends came. And I wondered, well, I wonder there's certain music, certain sounds that is an energy hack for you. It just helps you to put you in your calm, you know, nice, peaceful atmosphere, feel it in your body, in your soul, and your spirit, and bam, you're not tired anymore. Okay, so here are what these mums are saying to fight back. So this one mom said, progesterone at night help my sleep. Smaller light meals make me feel less less sluggish. And another mum said, I've been on this protocol for one month, but oh my goodness, I can't believe how much it helped. I'm back to my energy levels. Now I wonder, she said, I've been on this protocol for only one month. I wonder what protocol she's on. I read it, but I didn't really. I wonder what she's on. But she's on um progestrian. Another one said, I started setting alarms to get ready for bed. It made a huge difference on how I felt tired. You know what? That sounds great. Setting up alarms now. For me, it's a it's a hit and miss. I'll set my alarm and then I'll go to bed, and then I'll set it again for five minutes, then I'll go to bed, and I don't know why I'm saying go to bed because then I'll set it for 10 minutes and I'll keep setting it again. So that one doesn't do do it for me. I wish it would that I would stop doing it, but I like to tell you, I'm still learning because from my experiences, I'm not quite there, and maybe you have. I just want to say that maybe there's something that you have tried and you have shared that with your friends. I would love to hear that from you. And saying that, I just want to give a shout out to my listeners who have been supporting this channel, listening, and I always do it to the last episode because it just helps me. I'm able to track it down and say a quick hello to the moms. So the first one is to the listener from Simsberry, Connecticut. Hello, you are amazing, and I thank you. I see you on my app, and then you are such a such a wonderful supporter. So, thank you very much to the Connecticut Simsberry listener. I hope you're doing Well, I just want to say hello, you are amazing, and to also the uh stock and also to the Stockton California listener. Hello, I'm so happy that you took the time to listen. Good to see you on my app. Hello, and also to from London, England. Welcome. Thank you very much for showing your support and listening to this. And also to the Suttics Inlet, New South Wales. Hello. I hope you're doing well too. Thank you for supporting and listening to this podcast. And also the last shout-out is to from Springfield, Massachusetts. I just want to say thank you so much. You all are amazing. You all are so wonderful. You are doing the best with the resources you have, with the time that's given, with what you got, you're doing the best you can, raising your only child, you're doing the best you can, taking care of yourself, your husband, and the community you're at. You are just so amazing. And I hope, I hope you are telling yourself that as you're going through these pre-menopause phases, or maybe you just finished the pre-menopause stage. You're like, oh my goodness, I'm done with that. We would love to hear from you as a mom with an only child. How did you do it? What energy hacks and real solutions do you have? For me, as a mom who's 49 who has a child who is going to be nine in a few months, my energy hack is really just to take care of yourself by saying kind words. It absolutely does to take kind words to yourself and tell yourself you're doing the best you can, and then maybe for example, I now like to drink V8, it helps me. The juice, the V8 juice, I get my cup in my vegetables, and then I also take vitamins. That for me, it helps me because one I try to juice it myself, and it didn't work out for me. So I just buy a bottle of vegetable juice. I like it, I get the low sodium, or maybe you like I just like different vegetables, or I like to sleep, and me, I like to get a massage once in a while. I have a friend, she's she's a very good at she's very good at massaging. So I like to treat myself once every three months, and I would like to do a spa treatment, but that's another talk. Well, I just want to say thank you very much for listening. You all are amazing. Thank you for subscribing. Thank you for leaving me a comment and thank you for putting like. I look forward to reading your comments or emailing me, or if you want more information about the period book. I look forward. Take care. Bye.