Raising An Only Child At 50

Ever sit in a room where everyone’s milestones feel a mile ahead of yours? That’s where our story opens: friends swapping grandbaby cuddles and wedding plans while we’re checking a third-grade backpack and learning the newest dance challenge with sore shoulders and a full heart. It’s a moment that could spiral into comparison, or bloom into clarity about what really matters.

We talk candidly about raising an only child as we approach 50, managing fatigue, and choosing presence over performance when our bodies and calendars have limits. You’ll hear the funny, humbling saga of nailing a mom–daughter shoulder lift after days of practice, plus why pacing ourselves is not quitting, it’s protecting the joy. We share how tiny adventures become big memories: YouTube-fueled food hunts, rating MrBeast chocolate, and turning everyday errands into a sensory playground.

Beneath the stories runs a steady theme: your timeline isn’t a mistake. 

If you’re craving a gentler pace, stronger bonds, and permission to love the season you’re actually in, this is your sign. Listen, share it with a friend who needs a lift, and tell us: what pressure are you ready to let go of this week? Subscribe, leave a quick review, and help more parents find a kinder way to grow.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hi there and welcome to the Family of One Child podcast. I'm 4 Comment, a wife, a part-time working mom, and a full-time believer in making the most of every joyful and sometimes busy moment of raising an only child. If you're ready for real stories, plenty of laughter and parenting tips, you're in the right place. So let's dive into this adventure together.

A Room Full Of Different Seasons

Feeling Out Of Sync With Peers

Energy, Supplements, And Fatigue

Dance Challenges And Body Limits

Shoutouts And Community Love

Choosing Connection That Fits

Shopping Quests And Food Finds

Supporting Horse Riding Without Burnout

Embracing Your Unique Timeline

Quality Time And Love Languages

Letting Childhood Unfold Slowly

Your Story Isn’t A Mistake

Affirmations For Only-Child Moms

Gratitude And Closing Invitation

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Hi, my name is Four, and welcome to the Family of One podcast. You know, I want to take you into a room I was recently in a few weeks ago. I was sitting with a group of women. Most of them were in their mid-50s, and we were doing what moms do. We are sharing, and we were opening up about where we are in life, you know, what's bringing us joy and what's stretching us thin. Well, one mom, you know, she was happy, she was talking about becoming a brand new grandma, really, oh, that's so sweet. And another one was deep into wedding planning with her daughter, and then someone else was talking about, you know, just having you know grandkids around and the kind of love that brings into a home. You have, you know, you hear your grandkids running up, and you're the favorite grandma or nana, and then it was my turn, and I looked around at these beautiful women, my peers, and I said, Well, you know, I'm going to be 50 in May. That's why I said it 50, and my only child just turned nine, you know, and these women already knew my daughter Olivia was nine, and I knew exactly where they were in their motherhood journeys. But even though when you say it is different in a group, and there was a little moment we all just looked at each other and we just laughed. Because honestly, what else are you gonna do? It's not like I can say, Oh yeah, you know, my daughter's 29 and she's going to get married, or yeah, she was just talking about a boyfriend, because I don't feel my husband is going to allow her to have a boyfriend until she's 50. Or maybe never. Anyway, we're all in a such different seasons, and even though you know we're all the same age, we're all in our 50s, you know, they're stepping into the next season of motherhood, the one with the adult kids and the other with the grandbabies, and I'm still the mom who's making sure my third grader grader has your homework in her backpack before we leave the house. Yes, I know she could be doing it herself, but I'm like, okay, make sure you have your homework, your drink bottle, do you have your jacket? And you know what? To be honest, sitting there, I had this little whisper of thought, like, as I was listening to these mums, I was I was thinking, maybe if I had gotten married, married earlier, or maybe if I had her earlier, I would be in the same season with these group of mums. But then another thought came right behind and I said, even if I had her in my 20s, early 20s, what wouldn't if she chose not to get married, or what wouldn't if she chose not to have kids, then I would still be maybe in the same group, but then I'll be sharing something different. So let me share what this part really felt for me. You know, these women, they were kind, they were encouraging, and they didn't make me feel out of place, but I still felt that a little that little awareness that my motherhood time frame doesn't match the room, and it's most of my peers. I even though we're all in the same age, maybe 50s, when I look at the room of their children, it just doesn't match, and I get tired. That's what I tell them. I'm tired, and I don't know if it's because I'm almost 50 or because pre-menopausing is doing its thing. I mean, I tell you what, it was because I'm raising a nine-year-old with a whole lot of life and movement in her heart, you know, it's probably all of the above. You know, I take my iron pills, I take my vitamin D, I take my multi multivitamins, and because you know, I need it, and I probably need it too when I was 20s and 30s, but I noticed me taking my iron pills and doing my best to be as healthy as possible, this season requires a lot. And even then, you know, there are days when getting up from a chair feels like a whole new event, and I know there are a lot of you out there, millions are saying, What are you talking about? I have this energy and I'm 50 and I'm amazing. You know what? I am learning to be at a better place body-wise, of movement. If you're listening to this and you can't relate, like, well, maybe this might be something in the house, or maybe you're like, I know what it feels because you might have a friend who's in a similar situation to me. Meanwhile, you know, my daughter, and she's nine, she's like, Mom, let's do another dance challenge. And I'm thinking, oh my goodness, I'm thinking, girl, my body is still recovering from the last one. I mean, we went on Instagram because I have an Instagram account, and I was looking up here and I mom and daughter challenges, and I tell you what, she has an energy that matches her beautiful Wallara pony, and they both can run fast and they keep going. So if you know what a Wallara pony is, it's like a half Arabian horse and half Welsh pony. Put them together, you get a beautiful Walara. So, what does that mean? It the pony is not a horse size, it's like a taller version of a pony. Now, if you're listening to this and you're an equestrian or you're raising horses, and if I got that wrong, let me know. And if I did it, you're like, yeah, she's close enough. Give me a thumbs up. I mean, I'm just trying to learn about horses, but we did it, we both laughed with the mom and daughter dance challenges, and of course I messed up the moves, and we both did, but we tried again, and I love that I can still interact that with her, but I had to tell myself, oh my gosh, as we were doing this for hours and laughing, I had to be mindful, and I tell her, Oh, you know, I can't do that move where you get up and I think they jump on your shoulder. We try it took us, I mean, a few days to get that where I literally I could just pick her up and uh put her on my shoulder in one movement. But I tell you what, mindful of my body and mindful of my energy, because I was mindful that my whole body was hanging afterwards, and I was like, I need to choose something that is not going to be a two-month recovery because my right arm, woo, it was painful. I was like, Oh my goodness, and then I tried to lift her up on my left arm, like that one movement jump, and then she, you know, she's sitting on my shoulder. Oh my goodness, I was so inspired by other mums who were doing it with their daughters, and I even saw like a wife, her husband would just lift her up on one take, and I was like, if they could do it, I could do it. We ended up, I think it took us three days, it actually took us a whole week of practicing that one move, and then when we finally got it, we're high-fiving each other, and then she was like again and again, and I was like, I think you definitely mommy has to wait for a good two months because it's like it's super sore. I like I cannot, and even now she'll say, Mom, can I do it? And I said, Can we just wait? So it actually might be three months for me to do the one movement, get her up, and then she sits, you know, I lift it right up with one one solid move. Boom, she's sitting on my shoulder. Oh my goodness, I cracked myself up. But before I go on, I want to give a quick shout out to the amazing listeners who turned into this last episode. A big hello to Livermore, California, Sinsbury, Connecticut, and my listener to my listener in Sweden. I see you all, even though in Sweden your city didn't show up. I'm so glad you're here. You can see I am so thankful that you all listened to the last episode. And just like always, if I didn't mention your city today, it's because I recorded this before you listen. So send me a message or drop me a comment, and I will make sure to include you in the next episode. I love knowing where you are, and at the moment, I think I'm in maybe 27 or 29 countries. That is how much we have people listening from us. So yay to the mums in these variety of countries. You know what? This is what I have learned. You know, I don't always have to keep up with everything they do. I mean, with the other mums, all I just have to remind myself is stay connected. So Olivia and I have our own things, things that can fit my body, meaning my energy and our relationship. What I notice is that I love to shop, and so does she, which is a good thing, and we love to walk through the stores, look, using all our senses, talk about the products. We can carry our bags. I can carry bags, she can. We go to Starbucks, you know, we look at makeup trends, and then we try and find foods that we see on YouTube. I mean, we have a look like what is the latest trend on YouTube? It might be Mr. Beast's chocolate. It took us a while to find his, you wouldn't think so. I think it was his caramel chocolate bar, Mr. Beast. We every time we would go into a store like Walmart, Five Below, like all different stores, Target, we could not find that caramel chocolate. And when we found it, I can't remember where it was, but we were like high-fiving, it was almost like a treasure hunt, and then the ice creams that look like fruit, we would look everywhere, and then when we find the product, because we watched the you know reviews on YouTube, we're like, is it as nice as what people say? We because we're foodies, I'm a foodie. When we find it, we're like, oh yeah, and then we would taste it, and we would review it ourselves. So that's what I like about you know, even though maybe I can't dance all the mom challenges, daughter, mom and daughter challenges, and even though I do get tired, I'm just making memories that count, you know, that matters, that's connection for the for her and I. You know, I do support her horse riding lessons, and that is a lot because if you are a mom, I mean, of course you're a mom because you're listening to this. If you horse rider mom, did I say that right? My horse riders, or an equestrian or a mom who has a daughter in the horse industry, it is a lot of commitment, like any sports, right? You could be a soccer mom, a soccer mom, a tennis mom, a dance mom. Well, I'm a horse mom, so it is a lot of commitment, and so I support her in those ways. I show up for the things that she loves, and I choose activities that allow me to be present without pushing my body past its limits. Because when I push my body past its limits, one I'm grouchy, two, I'm not present, meaning I she knows I'm there, but my eyes are saying something else. Like I'm like, I am really, I really am like wanting to be somewhere else, so I am more aware, I'm learning to be more aware of what I can and cannot do, and to keep doing it from the long haul. And I'm laughing because most times I say, look, I'm really sorry if the activity is like I can only be there for so long, but then I really either need to sit down because I can't stand for like long, or two, I need to go to the bathroom. I can't like go bike riding like you and dad for a long time because a long time for me, I may need to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes or every hour, and I want to use a bathroom that is nice. So so and I don't want to pee outside, you know, under a tree or somewhere or used where there's no toilet paper. I know I'm rambling on, but that's the kind of mom I'm becoming this season, and a mom that chooses presence over performance. Because if I did performance, I think I would get I'm not sure what grade she would grade me in. I like to think she would give me a good grade, but you know what? Maybe she will some days, maybe she won't some days, but that's okay. So if you're listening today and you feel like sometimes I'm not on everybody's timeline, and if your motherhood doesn't match the room you're sitting in, if you kind of feel like I feel a little bit behind, or maybe I'm ahead, like maybe you're like way, I'm way ahead of everyone else, meaning you're at a much adult stage, and maybe they're at like they just gotta bring you baby. You know, here's what I want you to walk away with with this episode, just appreciate the season you're in. You know, you're not the one you thought you'll be in, maybe even the one that you thought you're not being, not even the ones your friends are in, just appreciate the one that you're in. And sometimes, I don't know, maybe we feel pressured from outside influence that says, Oh, you should be at this stage because you're at this age, and this is where generally people are at. That's okay, you know, it's not gonna happen. Just appreciate my encouragement is appreciate the one you're actually living, you know, the one that is real life to you because every season, early, late, expected or unexpected, unexpected, is a chance to build experiences with your child. And I'm for me, I'm in the elementary years. Um she's only nine, she's a third grader, and I'm almost 50. And I keep saying 50 because for me, when I was 30, I would say, oh, a 50 is amazing. I read it somewhere in an article where it said, when you're 50, that's where you make the most, most money, because your children have grown up, you've maybe already finished paying off the house you're close to it, maybe your child has gone off to college and you know they're living their life where they're married, and you pretty much have sorted out what type of career, and I'm thinking, okay, one, I had my child at nine, two, I am just still entering in my I don't know what do you call it, with my career. So and three, financially, I mean, yeah, I could be a further a lot ahead, but if you compare me to other people, I mean I can okay, I'm not gonna complain because I know plenty of people who have way more money than me, but then if I put myself compared to other people, I have way more other people than them. So what am I saying? I'm just saying that I'm almost turning 50 once again, and my daughter wants me to be present, she just wants me to be present, and her love language is quality time, and I wonder for all children at a certain age in elementary, is it quality time? That is her biggest, maybe I just know with mine and also gifts for what child maybe your child is not so much gifts, maybe as but you know, because the five love languages book is it quality time? What is the other one? Quality time, touch, words affirmation, what have I got? Gifts, you know, and I'm missing the two. So isn't that I'm just saying yeah, the five love languages. So there you go. I did not help you in any way, so maybe you can look that up and tell me. Put it like very these are the five love languages. So I'm just learning to honor that, and I don't want her to grow up fast just because my peers have adult children, you know, just because most of my friends have adult children, or their grandparents entering that stage, or some are getting married, or you know, I don't want her to grow up fast because I feel I'm missing out. I we just want her to live her life as a nine-year-old, you know, fully, freely, and joyfully. And I want her to know that her father and I are giving her the best childhood we can with the time and energy and resources we have. We are really like, hey, we love you so much, but we're just doing the best with what we got, with what we are learning and growing about ourselves as we make mistakes, because I make a lot, but we love you so much, we're gonna keep doing our best to grow and learn together and keep chasing your heart. And I'm like, we love you. So I I pray that you know, when she grows up, and as maybe she might listen to this podcast, who knows? Maybe if she chooses to have children, maybe they'll listen to her. I mean, listen to this, and they'll know, oh, your grandmother, um, our grandma really loved you. I was like, Yeah, we did. We tried the best we could with the resources we have, with the community that we in, with the help we got. So we love you. And so for me, I have to remind myself every now and then my timeline is not a mistake. Just because I'm not it this season, it doesn't mean it's not less than, it's just my story, it's my beautiful story that I'm living today, and it's yours too. You have a story, and so mom, before I end this podcast, I wanted to to let you know that mama, because you are doing the best you can with the time that's given, with the resources you have in the community that you are building, that you are surrounding yourself with, because here you are listening to this podcast, and I'm sure you are being the best you can for your husband, you're being the best you can for your only child, and you're also you are a gift to your community. And I wanted you to keep saying that you are a gift because what you share is so valuable. The love that you pour into your family, others benefit from it. What you pour into yourself, all the goodness, all the things you are learning, that you are learning about yourself more, you're growing more, you're discovering more, and even the mistakes we make that you know, your community, your family benefits. From it, and so I wanted to keep reminding you just how awesome, how awesome you are, not unlike um a prideful look at me, but look how much wonderful God created you. You are truly amazing, amazing, amazing person, and you're so beautiful to your child. You add so much value, the words that you speak to yourself, the words that you speak to your child and your husband, and so I wanted to encourage mums with an only child because it is a lot. I'm just at the elementary stage, and at 50, once again, it is a lot of learning. Had I had her in my 30s and now she would be nine, I wonder, would I be saying the same message? I'm not sure, but if you're in your 30s and you're saying, Yeah, I have a 30 year old, I'm 30s, and I had a nine-year-old or whatever, you know, my child, yeah, it's pretty much the same. I don't know that. All I know is I'm turning 50, and I now she's nine, and I'm doing the best I can with the time that's given, with the resource I have, and the information I'm able to, and the support I receive with the community that I want to continue to build in. So I want to say thank you. I absolutely appreciate you listening to this podcast, and I just love that what you give to your family has so much strength, and what you offer is amazing, and remember to keep saying that to yourself as well. Thank you for listening to the Family on One Child podcast. I will meet you in the next episode. Thanks for sharing and liking and subscribing. Please send me a feedback. I would love to connect with you wherever you're watching this. Send me a feedback, connect, remember. Bye.