Start Small, Connect More

Loneliness can sneak up on you as a stay-at-home mom, especially when your friends’ kids are older and your whole day still revolves around naps, snacks, and toddler moods. I share what helped me move out of that in-between space: building a small, positive community by starting with simple activities I already enjoy with my only child, then inviting one or two moms to join us. No big events, no complicated plans, and no pressure to “host perfectly.” 

We walk through real, practical ideas you can copy right away, including a one-hour playdate built around homemade play-doh and an easy craft like rock painting. I explain how we kept it age-appropriate, low-cost, and collaborative by sharing supplies, keeping the group small, and choosing a space that works for little kids. 

Grab the free Jump Start Field Trip Guide by going to my website joyfulgatherspress.com

 Subscribe, share this with a mom friend, and leave a review. What simple activity could you invite one mom to do with you this week?

Transcript

Welcome And What To Expect

Free Jump Start Field Trip Guide

The Lonely Gap Between Kid Stages

Simple Group Activities That Worked

Listener Shout Outs Across Locations

Start Small And Drop Perfection

Questions To Find Doable Fun

Joy And Identity In Toddler Life

Community Requires Reaching Out

You Do Not Have To Host

One Hour Plans And Closing

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hi there and welcome to the Family of One Child podcast. I'm Four Comment, a wife, a part-time working mom, and a full-time believer in making the most of every joyful and sometimes busy moment of raising an only child. If you're ready for real stories, plenty of laughter and parenting tips, you're in the right place. So let's dive into this adventure together. Hi friends, and welcome back to the Family of One Child podcast. I am so glad you're tuning in today. So before I jump in, I wanted you to know that everything I'm talking about in today's episode comes from a free a free resource. A free, oh my goodness, can I just say free? A free resource I created for moms with an only child. Okay. And if you're listening to this, like why multiple children, you can you can use this as well. So it's called the Jab Star Field Trip Guide. And so you go on to my joyfulpress.com website. That website, you just scroll on down and you'll see the resource. There's three phases, but I'm just going to go through the first phase to help you build connection with your child and other moms. So today we're focusing, remember, on the first phase, which is all about imaginary, simple, and doable activities you are already enjoying. So there's no stress. So remember, you can download the free resources in the show notes. Let's start. When I became a full-time stay-at-home mom with my only child, I found myself in this really interesting in-between spaces. For example, I had a lot of friends who were already stay-at-home mums. Now I mean this is interesting because I just became a full-time stay-at-home mum, but I already had friends who were full-time stay-at-home mums. But here's the thing: their children were a lot older, and their schedules were so different because I just had a newborn, and then later on, when she became a toddler, you know, my older friends, okay, no, I'm older than them. My friends with the older children, their activities were really different. You know, their kids had outgrown naps. Meanwhile, I was still planning my entire day around those naps. And when I mean those, and I mean magical naps, because here's the thing: when she slept and had her nap, I went to sleep and had my nap. Now I know you may be listening, and you may like you use that nap time to get your laundry done, maybe clean your house, maybe catch up on the phone or watch a movie, Instagram, or you may be listening to this podcast. For me, when my child slept, I went to sleep. Now the thing is the difference now, she doesn't lie to sleep, she doesn't like it, she's not asleep, you know, she's like, no, I don't, I don't want to have a nap. And I'm like, I'm going to have a nap. I just have not lost that magical nap window. And but and so when I did meet up with my friends who are stay-at-home mums, you know, with the older children, even though I appreciate their friendships, they were really kind. But in some ways, I kind of felt a little lonely. You know, I needed mums who were in the same stage as me, whose kids were learning and discovering the same thing as my child when she was a toddler. And I wanted to talk about those experiences, and maybe you you're in that similar stage too. You have friends who are maybe either part-time stay-at-home mums or full-time stay-at-home mums, but the age, you know, these their children's age is different from your child's age, so you're just like, man, I just or maybe their interest is different. Their kids are doing something totally different, and you're like, No, I really want to have something closer to my child's age and similar interests. So I started for me, I started looking for moms with children around the same age as my child, and so my child could interact with you know someone who's the same stage and age, and honestly, I just wanted to connect with that mom as well. So when it came to activities, here are the simplest ones that I found with those friends that worked really well for us. So I had a few mom friends that were in the same, they had kids in the same age as me. So some of them had they were multiple, they had multiple children. Well, one mom she loved to bake and she was really good at it, but not only did she love to bake, but she also loved baking and teaching this with her children. And so I asked her, would you be open to picking a recipe, a simple recipe, and teaching it to a group of you know, some children and another adult. So I'll I will ask another friend, and maybe all together could be like maybe seven, seven or seven of us altogether, would you be open to teaching that recipe and you leading it? And she said, yeah. So she picked a simple homemade play-doh that worked for us because we didn't want to use the oven and we didn't want to make a long recipe, we wanted a recipe that was appropriate for the age, you know, of the children in our group. It's something they can do all together, something that I could do, like the other mom. So we thought about what's something that if we we knew the needs of our group and the moms, and what is something that each child can do and it'd be a positive experience. So she picked the homemade play-doh, which was awesome. And then another friend, I said, okay, so she's doing a homemade play-doh, and then I thought, you know what, what else could we do just in case, you know, that might that might take us what maybe 10 minutes, really depends, 10-15 minutes. And so another friend of mine said, you know what, she loves crafts, arts and crafts, and she doesn't mind teaching leading the group into rock painting. So I was thinking that is so awesome. So we have homemade play-doh, and we have rock painting. Now I was gonna say rock climbing, but you know, your friend that you're talking right now is not doing rock climbing, but I have done rock climbing, and oh my goodness, that is a story, not by choice. You're thinking, not by choice, that is another episode all together. So my friend, she chose rock painting with the group, and she was amazing. And me, because I didn't lead any group, I was like, Well, I'm not leading the homemade play-doh, and I'm not leading the rock painting, but I don't mind having people in my home, and so we had the play-doh in my kitchen, we had about seven all together, including the adults, and it worked really well around our table, and it was so much fun, and then we moved outside for the rock painting, and it was great because I didn't mind people getting paint on my grass, and because I had a locked lot of rocks around my house, and then I thought maybe there were some rocks I thought, oh, I think where did I go? I think I went to Michael's and got some flat rocks because the rocks I saw in my garden, I was like, maybe I should just get a variety. So I bought like a bag of rocks, they were flat and big enough for the kids. I just gave variety, it didn't cost that much money, so each child I made sure you know, if you wanted to do two paint two rocks for everyone, including the parents, it was fun, and then she had some paints, and I had some paint as well. And the paintbrushes, I mean, we told the other mums if you want to bring your own paintbrush, I have some here, but we all contributed to the activity, it was really good, you know. It was simple, low-key, and it was only for an hour because for us, one hour, two activities, and then we had lunch, that was really good because you know they had some little ones, and my my little one needed to go on nap, meaning me, I needed to nap with her after this. We're building this community across states, countries, and time zones. So when you're listening to this, someone's either going good night, or they're waking up, hello, hello. So, either way, I just wanted to give a warm shout out. Why did I say warm? Maybe because where you are in season, it is so cold. Well, us, we're going into the spring, so the warmer weather is coming up slowly. Okay, enough of that. I'll get back to the shout-outs. So I'm gonna give a wonderful shout out to the listener in Ashburn, Virginia. Hi, hey, hi, Ashburn, Virginia, and to the Springfield, Massachusetts. It's so lovely to see the location every time. Hello to Suttux, New South Wales. Suttix, New South Wales, hello, New Britain, Connecticut. Oh, lovely mom there. You all are lovely, New Britain, Connecticut. Hello to Sydney, New South Wales. I just want to say hello to you too, and welcome into the city of London, to each one of you, these mums and these locations. Ashburn, Virginia, Springfield, Massachusetts, Suttix, New South Wales, New Britain, Connecticut, Sydney, New South Wales, and the City of London, City of London, Moms. Thank you so much that you all keep coming back and keep listening. I absolutely appreciate it. So if you don't hear your city today, don't worry. I will pull these shout outs from the next previous episodes. So if you didn't hear your city today, don't worry. I will catch you in the next last episode. Okay. So if you listen to this, it's because I recorded this one before I saw your location. Okay. But don't worry, mom, I'll get you in the next last one. So getting back to the phase one, it's all about imaginary the possibility when you start small. So you start small, start simple, and start with what you're already enjoying with your child. Don't be doing something like, oh, it's gonna stress me out. No, we want to start what you're already enjoying. So it's not about planning this big massive event. This is not that moment, and it's not hosting a perfect gathering. Meaning, I know you're gonna have some people around your house, and yes, it would be ideal to move things if your house is cluttered and you're thinking you can't open up the door, you may want to move some boxes so they can come in your house. So, really, and mom's I know this, I know this for me too. I'm like, oh my gosh, I gotta clean, I gotta sweep the floor, but I am not dusting around picture frames, and you're thinking she doesn't dust her picture frames when people come to her house. No, I'm not okay. And anyone who comes to my house thinking, look, it's just make sure it's clean, it looks clean. People go in and out of my house safe in a safe way. That's good, that's good by me. And and then I also make sure that my bathroom's clean, at least my bathroom's clean too. But they're not gonna go in my bedroom because if they did, oh my goodness, you're gonna see a lot of laundry pile on my bed somewhere, or there's a laundry pole in the corner in the laundry. It is what it is for that moment. So, this is what I'm asking myself. What do I love doing with my child? When I'm doing these simple and organizing these small activities, I'm asking myself, what do I love doing with my child? And what feels fun and doable right now? Because I'm gonna pick an activity that I can achieve from start to finish that's not gonna be stressful, that's gonna be doable right now, and what could I explore, learn, and discover together with my child? And then once I have those questions and have an idea, would I want to share this with one or two other moms? That's it, you know, that's just phase one. So when you start imaginarying the possibilities, you know, something beautiful happens. You kind of you rediscover your own joy because we all know during this toddler stage, it can. I'm not saying it's all stressful for mums, but during this stage for me, one I was just a stay-at-home mum, a full-time stay-at-home mom. So I'm cooking, I'm cleaning, I'm going through maybe some endless sleep because I haven't slept in a while. So that means I may not be cooking, you know. There's laundry, and if they're teething, you know, and then I miss my co-workers because I don't have any friends who are similar stage where I am, so I have to start new friends, it's like dating. Oh my goodness, so and my emotions are up and down, up and down, sideways here and there. So that's why I wanted to do this something simple and doable. So I'm rediscovering what I draw, I enjoy, and I'm also learning something about myself. Maybe that I love hands-on activities, or for example, you enjoy being outside more than inside, or maybe that you're more creative than you thought, and so you start feeling connected again to these activities, you're feeling connected to your child, to your community, and to the stage you're in, because sometimes there's moments like I just got up and it's a good day because I did my hair, or a good day because I actually wear clean clothes, or I was able to put one load of laundry today, and I just washed it, but I have not put it away, like it's still on my bed. But the achievement is yay, it's wash, you know, and maybe you're further ahead and you're more organized. So there might be something here for everyone. You're like, Oh, I'm gonna give you wonderful tips and hacks how to get ahead of things, please, mom. If you're an only child mom and you're listening to this podcast and you're way organized more than me, oh let me know how you can contribute. And we would love, I love learning from other mums. So please leave a feedback, we would love to hear from you because the more help we get and wonderful suggestions, or maybe you're like, you know what? I do my laundry, and when I do it, I put it on the bed, and then I just do a little bit at a time, like I time it and after a few minutes, and whatever I got, that's what I got, and I'll be like, that's amazing, and it may work for someone who loves doing that, okay. And because your community, when you're building it, it does not have to be big, no, it doesn't, it just needs to be positive, a place where you contribute and where you receive because this is the place where you show up and let others show up as well. And it does, but here's the thing, mom, you're listening, it does require you stepping out of your comfort zone. And a human like, oh mama, yeah, you gotta, it does require you, it's gonna require you talking to another mom. So if you're like, oh, I'm shy. I remember here's a story when I was looking for a boyfriend, you know, single and I was ready to mingle, but I did not want to talk to anyone, I just thought they would naturally come to me. So I was like waiting and waiting, and you wait for so long, no one's coming because you're not giving any indication that you're ready to look. So I had to step out of my comfort zone, and I remember. I mean, was I really? Maybe in my heart I was, but I was too shy. And then when you see a cute guy and you're single and you're like blinking, and maybe my blinking looked like something like I had something in my eye. Who knows? Like they're thinking, does that woman need eye drops? So I mean, eventually I end up having, you know, I got I have a husband now, of course, and that's another story. But I remember those single ready to mingle dates when you're a teenager or young adult because your your father said no you can't date. I remember when I asked him, it's like I was 16 or 17, and he told me I couldn't get married till I was 40. Well, hello, I got married when I was 30, so I guess he was 10 years off. But anywho, getting back on track, it's gonna require you to step out of your comfort zone. So if you want to do this, you need to start asking your mom friends, right? Do they like something that they could share with another family that they're willing to teach that they enjoy? The enjoyment part is going to be very important, mom. So here is what I want you to notice when you start doing this, you know, you see the benefits because you're participating too with your child, and when you're doing the activity with your child, you're not just watching on the sideline, you are engaging the conversations, and the conversations is wonderful. You're both learning from each other, you're both discovering and you're exploring the activity together, you know, you're with them, and that shared experience builds connection in such a wonderful way, it's so rich. The conversation. So if you're listening thinking, but I'm shy, I don't want to host, I don't want to lead. Let me tell you this, mom. You don't have to host, you don't have to lead, and you don't have to be the organizer, but you do need to reach out. Is he a song called Richard? Richard. Okay, oh yeah. Uh be there. Okay. Is that a song? Or did I just like okay, yeah. No one's gonna say one, did I just get the wrong words? Or I can't believe I hit that note really good. Or you're listening, like, no, neither one. Let's move on. Okay, moving on. So you do have to reach out, you have to start with one mom, or maybe you start with yourself and then a friend. Ask her what she enjoys doing with her child, and then ask her, would you like to share that enjoy what you like to do with another group? And so that's something simple you can do together. And if you don't want to go to your house, that's fine. You can even use a local park, a park, remember, it's not about perfection, it's about connection, mama. About connection. So here you go. Before I lead you for the rest of the week, okay, I want you to leave you with this start small, start simple, and start with something you really love doing with your child, with you first, then ask one or two moms, your friends, what they enjoy too. And remember, this doesn't have to be an all day thing. No, it's not. One hour, maybe one hour is enough. You can shape the activity around the needs of your group. If you want the questions from today that I talked about written out for you, or even if you want help moving into the next phase, make sure you download the free jump start field trip. It's the free jump start field trip in the show notes. And if you are My regal listeners, thank you for subscribing and pressing like this. Reps me to know you like what you hear, and so I love that you're here. I will see you in the next episode. For us, it's going to be Easter Sunday, this Sunday coming up. So happy Easter, God bless. See you in the next episode. Bye.