Making Mom Friends without Feeling Weird

Making mom friends can be all sorts of emotions. You want connection for yourself and your child, but you also don’t want to come off awkward, intense, or out of place. I’m talking honestly about both sides because I’ve lived them, from boldly approaching strangers to quietly staying back with my phone while my daughter plays. If you’re in a new season of parenting an only child and you’re trying to find your people in your local community, this conversation is your reminder that you’re not behind and you’re not alone.

I share the cringey but real story of how I used to try to fast track friendship through Facebook, why it backfired, and what finally helped me build connection with less pressure. The simplest shift is also the hardest: say hi, share your name, and pause. That five second wait helps you read the vibe, respect boundaries, and stop assuming every lukewarm response is rejection. We also talk about personality differences, introverts and extroverts, and why some moms are open to chat while others are just trying to survive the day.

If you found this helpful, subscribe, share it with another only child mom, and leave a quick review so more parents can find support. What season are you in right now: stepping out or resting?

Transcript

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New Season New Village Offer

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi friend and welcome back to the Family of One Child podcast. Now, before we jump in, I want to speak to the mom who's in a new season. You know, you're wanting to start exploring and discovering with your child in your local community, and you want to do this with one or two other moms who are in a similar parenting season with you. And those moms are also wanting to build new friendships. Well, if that's you, I put together a $22 bundle. Yes, I did, called the New Season, New Village from One Mom to Another. Now, one of the resources inside this is called the Connection and Reflection Prompts. It's a gentle prompt that I use when I was learning how to say hi to other mums in my community. And I'm going to share my story why I needed a little bit of help. And so using these resources, especially this connection and reflection prompts, it's very simple and it helps you connect without feeling awkward or gentle. Did I say gentle? I mean feeling awkward and weird and intense. So you can grab this resource, this $22 bundle, anytime at my website, joyfulgatherspress.com. So yeah, just go to joyfulgatherspress.com and check out those resources there. Okay,

Why Friendships Feel So Hard

SPEAKER_00 1:37

so let's dive in today's conversation. It's all about friendships. So you know what? I have been the mom who has walked right up and I've said hello to other moms, and I've also been the mom who's has stayed back and I've said nothing, if you believe it or not. Because sometimes I just want to have that quiet me time while my daughter is playing, and I put on my Korean Chinese dramas, which I love to watch on Netflix, or I scroll on YouTube shorts, and I just zone out, and I've done it all. And then there's those moments where you finally get together with your mom friends after weeks of crazy schedules. You know, you have your mom friends like, Well, can you meet this time? No, I can't. Can you meet up this time? No, I can't. Can you meet up this time? Yes, I can. Woohoo! And you're just so happy to catch up with your friends. I have been in all those places, and sometimes I still am, depending on the time and the season. But today I want to talk to you from all of them. So I'm gonna talk to you from a little bit of each season, and I'm laughing because my stories, you're gonna think, Did she really do this? And I'm like, Yes, I did. And because maybe you have experienced one of those seasons before. So

The Too Intense Facebook Approach

SPEAKER_00 3:03

this makes me laugh because back when my daughter was little, she's nine now, I was way too intense of making friends on Facebook. Back in like maybe nine years ago, I was still learning about Facebook, like seriously, and so for example, I'll take my daughter to the mall because I'm you know, get out of the house and I'm going to the mall, or even the library, and so I will have a look and I'll spot a mom around the you know, and I'm thinking, oh, she's sitting by herself. So in my head, I'm thinking, she looks lonely. Like, I should go and be her friend, because why not, right? I am her friend, so I'll walk up to her and say, Hi, my name is Fora. My child was playing with your child. Do you want to join my Facebook group called Little Local Ventures? You know, we do fun trips around here and there, and I am just standing and smiling at this stranger, at this mom. Okay, so I'm freaking her out. I'm probably like way too intense because I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. And then I'll say, it gets worse. I'll say, show me your profile. I'm showing her my phone. I'm like, show me your profile and I'll show you mine. I can't wait for you to be friends with me. And then I would like, here, here's my profile here.

unknown 4:26

Boop.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

Now show me yours. I just and then I said, I send you a friend request, and hello, did it work? No, because the moms would always have two responses. The first one would be like, Oh, random lady looking at me, kind of like taken back, I don't have Facebook, or she'll say, Oh, I will accept you when I get home, when I get a chance, and I will turn around thinking, Oh my goodness, we're going to be friends. Why can't we be friends? Excuse me, more like a block. And then she did friend me, she'll say, Sing, I send you a friend, and I'm like, Oh my goodness, and then I'll go away thinking that she's my friend, and as soon as I get home, or whatever, after an hour or even half, she'll wait till I'm like, she doesn't see me, and then she'll unfriend me later. So you think you did you do that? Yeah, I took friend, Facebook friends, to another level, like personally, I would go up to mom's only if you're sitting by yourself. I'd be like, that mom needs a friend. Like, I'm a hero, I'm gonna come. Really? Like, did you even want me to be your friend? I so if you see me, like, is that for a comment? Oh my gosh, she's gonna come up and she's gonna say, be a friend. Well, look, just letting you know if we even meet if we ever meet in person, I have changed. So just letting you know what you see, what I'm telling you, what happened back then. I have calmed down, I know now social skills, I don't threaten people, be my friend, be my friend, be my friend. Because that is not the way to go. And if you have done this, well, you're in great company, and if you're listening, do not do that. That is not one way to get a friend, especially a stranger, that you've just like you walk up to a mom, say, show me your profile, let's be friends. It is not gonna happen, especially in 2026. I've been really surprised if that really, if someone's still doing that. Yeah, it's probably not. You're most likely like me gonna get a hundred percent block. Well, anyway, after a whole month of this, I know a month, right? You think I finally got after two or three, two or three approaches, like maybe the park is different from the library, maybe the library is different from who knows where. I'll just keep going. Well, I finally got it after a month. Like, come on, come on. So then I realized, yeah, mm-hmm. Maybe this is not working. So that's how the connection and reflections prompts were born.

A Calmer Hello That Works

SPEAKER_00 7:24

You're welcome. So then I switched to a gentle approach. I just walked up, smiled, like a person who's not gonna stalk someone and say, Hi, I'm four. That's all I said. So if I saw a mum and I was sit standing next to her, like I did this time, I didn't go walking around like stalking around like like a dinosaur. I don't know why, like a dinosaur. I didn't like wherever my daughter went, I went there as well. And if there was a space where I could like sit down and a mom was there, I'll just sit down and I'll look at her and I'll say, Hi, I'm four, calmly, friendly eyes, not like say something, and then I would just wait. Can you believe it? I just waited. It was no big ass, no big pressure. And then sometimes, you know, the mom, she'll smile back, and then sometimes, now, not all the time, they'll say their name. So if I say hi, my name is four, they'll be like, hi, my name is, but not all the time. Generally, they just say hi. And well, sometimes she'll just say hi, she'll look at me, say hi, and then turn back on their phone or look the other way, or just wondering, you know, who knows what she was thinking. But I had to learn to be okay with that, and I had to learn how to read the vibe. Like, when I say hi to the mom, right, and she said hi. Well, I had to learn that she needed space, like maybe she was catching up with a friend, or maybe you know, she turned around because she had her own things going. She did like there's a lot going on when someone people, when some person says hi to me now, a mom, I'm like, hi, and I just wait for a few seconds. Like, just wait a minute. If you're an eager bigger like me, and you just want to jump on that person, not jump, but you're like, I want to talk, I want to talk, I want to talk. Hold on a minute. That approach can be a lot for someone who does not operate in that space, so you just say, Hi, and just wait, breathe in and just wait for five seconds to see if they're going to say anything. Now I know because when I was doing this, I felt scary sometimes because I'm putting myself out there reminded everything like when you're dating, and oh my goodness, I didn't get married until I was 30. And my did I date a lot? No. Did I want to date a lot in my teenage? Yeah, I'm I'm sure I did. Just saying, so it's kind of like dating, and if you like really, you did not date a lot, you know, I probably would have if other people asked, and maybe some people are okay. Let's not go into my dating. Let's get back to friendships. So I wondered, did I when I'm asking, I'm having these thoughts, did I sound too eager? Did I look friendly? Or you know, I've got to remind myself, calm down as one, you know. I have this friend, and he will say, calm down. Yeah, so just letting you know, sometimes people like me, my personality, we get all excited when we see when we say hello. And for those who are a lot like introverts and you're quiet, you're like, Oh my word, these people are way too much. But just give us a chance, we're just happy when someone says hello. And this is what I learned. If that mom didn't say anything, it was okay. At least I stepped out, I said hello in a calmer way. I stepped out, I said my name, and that's okay. And

Reading The Vibe Without Shame

SPEAKER_00 11:26

I wanted to say this too, because I have been the other mums are who stays back, meaning I didn't step out, I didn't want to connect, and so sometimes when you step out, right? It doesn't work, it stinks, it really does, but most times it's not about you, or probably like a hundred percent times not about you. The other mom who you said hi to, maybe she's tired, maybe she's overwhelmed, and maybe she just wants to be left alone, have some quiet time, or even this maybe she really is like you're a random stranger, and it's like hello, like so you don't really know what the other person's going through, and even though it doesn't feel good in the moment because you stepped out, you said hello, and you were brave, it's okay, you still showed up and you still did it. So, congratulations to you. And remember, you think about me, think about you just it's okay. I have been there, and there's a lot more stories that I can share. Like, tip number one when she moves, do not follow her, like, don't be following her too close. And those revolving doors, oh my word, can I just put a story in here? I remember I went shopping, I didn't take my daughter with me, she was with her grandparents, and those revolving doors was at a like a supermarket, and ideally it should be one person per space, unless you know that person, like you're going with a family member or someone, and you're going together. For some reason, I jumped in with a stranger, another woman. Like she went first, and then I thought, oh, maybe there's enough room for two people. So I jumped in right behind her. Now I'm like, this, your friend here, she's not only five, I'm five-seven, and I have like extra room. So and she was a petite little thing, and she looked behind me and she was like, Oh my goodness, did you just come right behind? And I'm like smiling, like, hi with my shopping, right? I could not just wait for my own space. That's another step. Do not do that with strangers, let them go first and wait till the news, you know, revolting don't wait till you can go in by yourself. Yeah, that's another tip. Do not see that's what I mean. If I have done awkward or weird things, you're like, has four done that? Most likely, yeah. I have done that. I'm still learning too. So let why do I share this? So let you know you are not the only one. And if you have not done this, then you're way ahead of me in social skills. Let it you know, mom's out there with an only child. I am here for you in all seasons of your life, building friendships, starting new, making mistakes, learn from experiences. You can hear my stories and think, Whoa, glad I didn't do that one. Just letting you know. Okay. So

Resting Seasons And 20 Percent Days

SPEAKER_00 14:43

then there were seasons where I didn't step out at all. You know, I when I went to the park, and if my daughter was playing with someone, you know, I was just happy to sit there on my phone. I mean, I could say I had a book, but no, I didn't take a book, I just took my phone and I didn't want to talk to anyone. Can you believe it? I'm sure I was tired of being the one to initiate, and I was tired of one, like if it was mom circles, like mom groups, I was tired to do my best to break in those circles because I wanted to feel included. I was just tired. So during those seasons, I was really okay with my small group of friends. And if you're saying, What friends? I have friends. Well, me, myself, and I, I'm sure. Like, I'm okay with that. Letting you know, there's always something for someone. So even if I hadn't seen my mom friends and months, because life is just busy, or a family member, during those times where I just wanted to be like quiet. Can you imagine that? I'm okay, I'm in my resting season, friend. I want to encourage you, that's okay because you are protecting your space. You depending on what day you get me. I think I'm going for a season where I would say to my husband, I am functioning at 100%. Or sometimes I say to him, I'm at 20%. And if I'm at 20%, I tell my husband, tag your meaning he knows he is doing dinner, he's handling homework, he's doing everything else. Because when I get home, I am when I walk through the door, and when we're both at the home at the same time, I'm like, hey, I'm 20%. Like, I am going straight to sleep and don't wake me up. I tell my husband and daughter until my eyes wake up naturally. And when naturally, I mean like if they wake up and I close it again, and then I wake up and I close it again on my own. So and I say this out loud, and I'm thinking maybe I should ask my husband, how often am I at 20%? Hmm, interesting. So maybe we're both at 20% sometimes, but if we're all at 20%, my husband, my daughter, and myself, you know what that means, folks? We are all going to sleep because we're all tired. As soon as we get home, we have dinner early, and there's been some nights we're just like, good night, everybody, good night. That is it. I tell you what, motherhood is interesting, isn't it? But before

Listener Thanks And Community Shoutouts

SPEAKER_00 17:35

I keep going on about my stories, I want to say a big thank you to all the mums who listen to this podcast. I want to say thank you, and I want to give a shout out to the mums who listened to the last episode. So here you go from Concord, North Carolina, Bainfield, Bus Ren, Tampa, Florida, Ronette Park, California, Windsor, Connecticut, Calgary, Alberta, Rochdown, Watchdown, Denver, California, and Sydney, New South Wales. If I didn't catch you on the last on this episode, if I you didn't hear me, it's because I recorded before I got your location one. And for those like you mispronounced my names, I will do my best each time to say the names of your location. But once again, whether you are folding laundry or driving in the car or finally getting a quiet moment with your coffee, I just want to say thank you, and I'm really glad you're here with me in this community. And also thank you for checking out joyfulgatherspress.com. Okay, getting back to the podcast.

Simple Steps To Build Your Village

SPEAKER_00 19:05

This is what I learned from nine years of parenting with my friendships and living in both of these friendship spaces. Kids connect fast, like for example, when they're in the playground area, or you know, they just see each other because they walk up and say, You want to play? And adults, we take our time, and honestly, sometimes I feel like that's probably a good thing, you know, especially with my Facebook approach, friending someone, it's probably a good thing that we hold back a bit. But you know, there are some days where you meet a mom who's open and who's ready to talk right, and I other days she just won't be, and that's okay. Because in both seasons, you know, you're stepping out, you're stepping back, you know, a part of the journey, and you don't always like it's okay to be one or the other because sometimes in that season, that's just where you're at. So I'm just letting you know there's different seasons when you're building friendships. But I wanted you, I wanted to encourage you with this just a small step. If you're in your resting season and you haven't connected with someone yet, just let them know someone who loves you. Send them a text, make a call, just let your friend know how you're doing, so she can be your cheerleader and let you know how much she loves you. And if you're in the season of stepping out, just say hi to a mom. Like this. Hi, and say your name. Why do you say your name? Because it puts connection, but it makes it more personable. For example, when I say four, they kind of like look at me, and I can say my English name Ruth, or depending, I say four because it's kind of like huh? Your number, it kind of gives them a connection. So you say your name, and it's a beautiful name. So, whatever name you have, I encourage you to take that little extra step and say, Hi, I'm and say your name. You can say, Oh, nice meeting you, or nice to see you, and then when you finish, maybe you have a small talk. It could be like, Oh yeah, nice, hi, my name is so she's not always gonna say your name, but if she says hi, and the mom goes, oh hi, and then you can ask and say, Oh, you come here often, and she'll say, uh huh. It might be a one sided conversation, and that's okay, because you're just getting used to talking to someone, but you start small. Now you may not be the one mom that is pursuing it, like Maybe you're the mom, and you already have a mom friend, and she calls you first, and then she asks when you're going to the park, and she checks in on you. So you already like, I don't need to pursue it because I have a mom friend who already does it. She's always messaging me and she's like, Hey, do you want to do this? And that's it. I love that about you that you have that mom friend. But for the rest of us who are still looking for that dream mom friend, don't say that friend because that if you have a friend like that and she loves to contact you and she's like sending you cards or sending you messages, I'm like, Oh, you're such a friend. I I love to have you right now just to do that for me. And she loves to organize. But if you don't have that friend yet, or maybe you're the friend pursuing, but for the rest of us who are still looking for that mom friend, just keep saying hello. So take a look at the connection and reflection prompts. Remember, it's simple tools, very simple tools, and it's to help you start those conversations without you feeling weird or like, oh my goodness, I'm not sure how to do this. And if you do feel weird, that's okay, it's a feeling, okay, and it will happen because you're like, oh my gosh, stepping out, whoo, didn't work, but it's all right, it passes okay, and believe me, seriously, if you remember my Facebook approach, my Facebook approach was a hundred percent weird vibes, but you don't know until you step it out, okay. Now, if I had my siblings along with me, they'll be like, Are you serious? I think I told my husband what I was doing, he was like, or another friend, or maybe my sister. I I know and told someone eventually, they'll be like, No, that's not what you do, and I'd be like, hmm, are you sure? They're like, Yeah, no, calm down a bit. I tell you what, but you're stepping out of your comfort zone, you're saying hi. You might have to try different approaches, but if I can do it, so can you. Remember, these prompts, they take off the pressure and they remind you that connection, now you're listening here, connection takes time, and they remind you that you're really a good friend. You're listening to this, you are a great friend, mama. So whether you're the mom who steps out or the mom who stays back, or the mom who's living in all seasons like me, you sometimes step out one week, sometimes you hold back one week, sometimes you're like you're back and forth. Oh my goodness. Look, you're doing better than you think, and your village, you're building friendships, doesn't have to be this big 30 families, like when I build little local ventures, 30 to 80 families. No, it just has to be a real connection for you, okay. And it can start with one hello or a quiet moment of rest, okay, and a few gentle props of how you move forward. I just

Share The Prompts And Closing

SPEAKER_00 25:21

want to remind you go to my website, check it out, and if this encourages you, share it with another only child mom who needs it and say, Oh my goodness, this podcast is hilarious, and this woman goes on and on and on about some of the things she does. How does she make it? Believe me, at a hundred percent, all the way to twenty percent. Don't get down to ten percent, probably, but remember 20. I'm sleeping. Now remember, you're doing the best you can with the resources you have and with the time that's given. You are the best mom for your child and the best wife for your husband, and you are amazing friend. So you're listening to this, you and I are friends. You are amazing friend, and remember that. But first of all, be a friend to yourself. Okay, be a friend to yourself. I will talk to you in the next episode. Bye!