Karaoke Commutes And Microwave Dinners

Your calendar looks busy on paper, but somehow you still have to get everyone fed, connected, and okay. I'm recording from my car at the barn and sharing some of my parenting experiences about what a part-time working parent schedule can look like: a 30-hour work week, school pickup, a long drive for equestrian lessons, then hours of waiting while our child learns, bonds, and grows. The surprise is that those in-between hours don’t have to be wasted time. With a little intention, they become quiet time, recovery time, and even a space to breathe.

I also get practical about dinners during the weeknights when I'm not cooking. Pre-made salads, microwave meals, and simple routines that keep dinner from becoming another exhausting project. 

If this resonates, subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next, share this with a parent who’s stretched thin, and leave a quick review to help more families find the show.

Transcript

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Recording From The Barn Car

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hi, and welcome to the Family of One Child podcast. As you can tell, if you are watching this video, I am in my car, and that means I'm at the barn. So I wanted to use this time to just share just some of the things maybe this can help you. But you'll be like, boy, she has got a lot to learn. So, for example, I want to talk about different types of schedule. And maybe you can relate, especially if you have a part-time job and your child is playing a sport, or maybe they've got an activity after school. And what's that like for me? How do I balance it? Well, for starters, I go to work 30 hours a week. And so when I finish, I pick her up from school and then I bring her to the barn where she's able to either do her lessons or look after her horse, take care of her horse. And during that time, uh, either for me, because where we are and where the barn is, is about 40 minutes to an hour long, depending, you know, with traffic. But you can generally make it 40 minutes. And so I use this time and I'm in my car for about yeah, at least, sometimes two and a half, it could be three hours if it's a long lesson. And with horses, for those who don't know anything about horses, there's a lot of things you do, take care of them, and you may clean their stall and give them a shower and you brush them and all the other things that go with taking care of a horse. And of course, you gotta meet up with your friends. She has common interests with the other girls at the barn, and they learn things and they teach each other. So I like her to have that hands-on, and she's around other older students who are just you know really good role models. So, you know, I feel like that's a good quality time. So I use this time either for me having a nap, I take my snacks. If it's winter or whatever, I have a coffee, or maybe not coffee, I just bring my snacks. I have a pillow, I have two pillows at the back. You know, sometimes I have a blanket. Now there is an office in the barn and they have a bathroom, but I just like to sleep. Or I do my recording here, like you can see me now record. Or I may just watch a movie. So I use this time, whatever I need it to be. So I have two and a three half hours. If I I'm if we live five minutes, I would just drop her off at home and you know, I'll probably be at home, or I would do some shopping. And I know some other parents that are like I can get my shopping done and everything, which if I would live closer, if I if we live closer to the bar, I probably would do that. Or I probably would go home and go bake to sleep. So that's how I do it. My schedule is from Monday to Fridays. Then we would go home.

Listener Shout Outs And New Website

SPEAKER_00 2:55

All right, before we keep going, I want to take a moment for our listener shout out because you all truly make this community what it is. A big hello to Sydney, New South Wales, Uppsala, Uppsala County, Chicago, Illinois, Orlando, Florida, LaPorte, Indiana, Nachitoches, Louisiana, Spanaway, Washington, Meridian, Mississippi, Kabarovsk, Kabarovsk, Scottsboro, Alabama, Brasilia, Federal District, Houston, Texas, Windsor, Connecticut, Stockton, California, Hogarden, Flemish Brabant Province, Columbus, Ohio, the Dalles, Oregon, Inveruri, Aberdeen Shire, Ashburton, Canterbury, Denver, Colorado, Omar, Fermanagh and Omar, and Milton Keynes. Thank you for tuning in from all over the world. It means so much to me. And hey, while you're listening, check out my new website, joyfulgatherspress.com. I've put together some free resources to help you build your community with confidence and joy. Go grab them. They're there just for you.

Easy Weeknight Dinners That Work

SPEAKER_00 4:00

When I make dinner, I mean that I've already bought the pre-picked. I really like this brand, and I should give a shout out to this brand because one, I think it's called Fresh Market, and I get it at supermarket, Maya, which I call Majaya. But is if you look at the spelling, it looks like Majaya. And I think someone said because they said, Oh, Majaya. And I said, What's Majaya? It's really Maya, Maya supermarket. So I buy these meals that you can just heat it up in the microwave. Now, for me, it's easy, and then I buy salads that's already pre-made, really nice salads. And I tell my husband, I like I'll buy it for a week. And if I'm not making anything, I said, Dinner is already available. You can get in all these different types of salads, and it's just enough for one person. It's not too big where you're wasting it, and not too small where you're hungry again. Although, you know, I'm gonna get hungry, and so I eat it with chips or have a dessert or something else. I need extra protein, and uh so it's easy for me. So I buy that for the week. And with my child, you know, Olivia, she's not one for the salads or anything, so you know, she might like chicken nuggets or like mac and cheese or some cucumbers. I just buy variety enough for her. And if I say, Look, it's there, you can get it yourself. If mommy is like by the time we get home, I'm exhausted. And honestly, after the writing, by the end of the week, she's tired too. But so we try and come to the barn more than two times, like two or three times if we can. If it's three or four times, my goodness, it's like because after work and then driving all the way here after a 40-minute drive and then driving 40 minutes. But the good thing about it, one, her and I catching up. This is our time where we catch up, we talk. Now it works for us because one, we gotta come to the barn because our horse is here, and we did have like a place closer where we were, you know, boarding, but we have we chose this particular place because of the training that she receives and the support, and she's able to ride with other girls that also wanting to have the same horsemanship training skills, and it's so worth it. We can just see how much it is building friendships, the mentorships, what how she's learning to you know grow and learn. For us, the 40-minute drive is is worth it as a family, and then just how the the person who runs this bar is amazing. I truly is. So I use this time, like it's a good time because we're thinking, when do we find time to talk? That's when her and I really talk, and then after the lesson, you know, when everything's done and we go back home in the evening, you know, depending on we'll talk again, as you do. So by the time we get home, we're pretty much all talked out. Unless there's something else we want to talk about. So we have dinner, and then it's just it's winding down. Although I don't know how it's symptoms, because you know, children have a lot of energy. I mean, seriously, I'm winding down as soon as I get home. And I'm I'm gonna sing that, Celine Dion. Oh wait, but Celine Dion says, you know, her song, I don't wanna be. But I wanna be by myself. I wanna sleep. So maybe that's not the song, but yeah, sometimes still gets home and she has a lot of

Neighborhood Friends And Outside Play

SPEAKER_00 7:27

energy. So depending on the time you come back, she has her neighbor friends now. If your child had is able to have some really good neighbor friends similar to their age, that is so good. So that's another cool thing about our neighborhood. She has got her friends, and like last night they were playing, they're outside, and she has her watch, so we can track her. And I'm like, hey, it is time to come home. And she was like, Hello, mommy, we're outside playing. And I'm like, Oh my goodness. And I'm calling her and I said, Can you come home now? So yeah, I just remember when I was growing up, I'm like, you know, you always come back home when it's not, you know, the sun is going down and you're hanging out with your friends out on the backyard, or you're at someone's house, you're bouncing on someone else's trampoline, or you bounce on, you know, someone else's trampoline, and the kid is not even there. That's too funny. So so she has a good neighborhood of friends, and the kids just all knock on each other's door. So you'll see that they'll like knock on each other's like, it's and they'll say, It's Olivia Hill. Once she's there, she'll go and knock on someone else's door. It's so and so and so there, and then they'll the two friends knock on someone else's door. So they just go and knock on each other's doors and they all start, you know, asking, Are you there? Are you allowed to come out? And the parents are really nice. So I met all the parents, met my husband, and so they get together, is where our house is situated, because we live in this city. Is that um it's like, for example, they all like hub because a surrounding, there's no fence where we live, and so all the kids just all congregate like in the middle, or if they go to next someone else's house, and now my parents will say, you know, it's okay, I keep an eye on them. The parents, they're really good, they watch out for each other's everyone's kids. That's what I like about it. So it kind of reminds me of when I was growing up that you can go and play it. And another thing too, because if they're playing, but not on their tablets, nothing wrong with tablets. And I tell you what, I mean, hello, can we go on tablets? You we could forever. And so I'm just I think in some ways, but I remember she was on a tablet for a long, you know. I was probably giving her a tablet, and then I was it my sister someone asked me, how long was she on the tablet for? And I thought, oh, maybe just 30 minutes. And I checked, and it was like hours, not even an hour, two hours or three hours, probably longer than that, right? And I was like, Oh my goodness. And so I think it was my sister said, You might want to double check how long your daughter's on the tablet for all the time, because it's not very good if it's that's the only thing you she has on, and she doesn't go outside or play. And I went, you're right. I need to I need to re-look at this tablet thing. And even though she was quiet, I think she was like, I think there was a stage where where I was just like, well, she likes it. And then someone else said, you know what? It's not very good because now you're using the tablet as a babysitter. And I was like, I need to re-look at how how long she's on the tablet for. So this is good. It gives her a good balance. So when she comes home, and depending on, you know, she goes outside and she plays, which is good because it's not like I'm like, you need to go and climb a tree. And she goes, Why? I said, Because do you know how to climb a tree? And she was like, Mom, someone cut

Choosing A Rhythm That Fits

SPEAKER_00 10:43

it down. So the point is, is that the reason why I want to tell you through this is because when I tell someone like my schedule, depending, they might say, Body, that is a lot. But I always say it depends on the rhythm of your own family. For example, you know, someone with I don't know, they might have a child that does not do activities, but they visit grandparents or they go to the library because they love, you know, their story time, or I mean, because I can fill up my diary, I can fill up us our calendar with a lot of things. And for me, I think it's it's up to you what you are wanting for your family and what you want to put time into that to make that happen. And so for us, that for for me to come to the barn, which is 40 minutes after work, and I tell you what, if you don't have air conditioned to your car, that is commitment. That is commitment. And then 40 minutes one way, and then wait for two or three hours and drive back another 40 minutes after you worked, you know, at your job, I tell you, that is commitment. But because I know the results, I know that it actually is a good investment for the friendships, and she's learning lots. And I get to have some time to myself, I make the best of the situation I'm in. Like I could have said, goodness, I'm in this car, you know, I'm tired, it's uncomfortable, I don't have air condition, and like there's little flies flying here and there. You know what? I'm like, you know what, my daughter is getting the best, she's building friendships, she's learning about horses, and she's getting great mentorship, and she's connecting with other students, other her peers, her age, and she's enjoying it. That is that is great for me. So I can be in the car and I don't mind it. I can make myself as comfortable as possible. I just make the best of the situation. And really, if I want to get coffee, it's only five minutes from here if I want to get a snack. But there's an ice cream shop and they serve coffee and hot food, so it's not like and there's there is a bathroom, so it's not like I don't have a bathroom to go. So I really don't mind it. The only thing is if it bothered me is because there's no internet connection that I really wanted to watch a movie. But if I do, I just download it, I just watch it offline. So I kind of pre-make sure everything is fine. The only time is it would get really annoying if I just don't want to drive that 40-minute drive. So I try to make the best of it by just singing, like I download my songs on Spotify, and I just sing like a mini karaoke. Like if she, if her and I are not talking, like she's like, I'm we're done talking, then I will put my songs on and I would just sing and sing and sing and sing. So she's thinking, oh my goodness, I was like, Do you want your songs on? She goes, No mom, you're good. You can sing along. You can sing. So I'll just like sing and sing. And so, what was the point of this? The point is that when you have your schedule, and it takes a while to find your rhythm because depending on your season, and you could have a toddler right now, or your child is going starting a new activity, or maybe you just started, you've moved, you've moved into a new location, or um, you're going back to work part-time or full-time, and so you're trying to find those quiet times. For me, I try like this time, if I'm not filming, it would be my quiet time. Once again, it's either watching a movie, going to sleep, in the car, or whatever it looks like

Protecting Home As A Quiet Oasis

SPEAKER_00 14:26

in the car. And then when we get home, because I'm so busy during the week, I don't have anyone come over my house. You were thinking, what you don't have anyone come over. I I mean, if people come over my house, I'm always gonna say, I'm nice and everything, but I purposely, because of my the job that I do as well, I'm out and about always, I'm talking to a lot of people because I'm a volunteer coordinator. Because I'm out and about, I'm talking and talking, talking a lot, which it suits my personality and my in my lane, like is absolutely amazing. But I come home and I like to keep my home like an oasis, it's like where my family can come relax, they can come be refreshed, they can come and just be themselves. Because when you're in public, and depending on the job, you're always like smiling and like you're on. I mean, I don't know how celebrities do it. I mean, so I know some friends and they always have people come over their house. You know, they have people come over like every weekend if they can, they invite people to come over dinner or just invite them over for a cup of coffee or whatever. You know, you just have your friends come over. For me, it's like a quiet. We're just whoo. And that means, you know, I can walk around the house and not comb my hair. You know, what you think? Did you comb your hair? I really didn't comb my hair today. But the the purpose for this podcast episode, it's okay once you're working out your rhythm, what your schedule's gonna look like. You know, maybe you find your quiet time, your slow time, when maybe it's during the dinner. Or maybe I know that some families, I remember they said after six o'clock they shut off their phones and they don't pick up any calls during from six to like, for example, eight o'clock. That time is a quiet time for their family. Or I think my was it, one of my family members, they said there's a certain time in the evening. So you can leave a message, but they will not pick it up. That's their quiet family time, and then they have a special code if there is an emergency, and you know, they know that they will pick it up then. But otherwise, it's just family time. It's gonna be different how each family is. And I know there's another time, some families like they allocate one day where they don't have anyone come over, no one's going now. I remember my friend said, you know, we pick one day and maybe did she say I can't remember. For them, it worked out like for example, on a Wednesday, because they had so many people doing, you know, she had multiple children and they all had like Bible study and sports and everything. So they picked one day of the week, which worked for them, where they all had dinner, all caught up, and they had no friends come over, or they weren't going, they didn't book other stuff during the evening. That was that one day for them.

Slow Sundays And Learning Boredom

SPEAKER_00 17:17

For us, what day is generally we try our best to have a movie night. Now, it's not gonna be every weekend. There may be like, for example, on a Sunday or on a Saturday, and where the three of us just plop down on the chair on the sofa, we're like, we are so exhausted, and we'll make popcorn and we'll just put on a movie and we'll just just watch a movie. That is just our quiet time where we are all in the lounge and we're just hanging out. And if you call us, we won't pick up the phone. It's like, you know, this is our family time. But we we are more we're aware of it, and so we tell each other, hey, don't go out. We allocate that time for a family time where we just slow down. And like Sunday, Sunday is generally a slow down day where we are not rushing to do anything. It's the day where because I started to notice, I was going gung ho like a kung fu panda, and not that I move like a kung fu panda and not say anything about any pandas, but or kung fu. But I was like zipity on I was like, mm-mm, gotta do this, gotta do that, gotta do that, gotta do. And then it's almost like I was getting myself so exhausted, by the end of the week, I started to cry. Now, isn't that hilarious? Your girl is crying. And then week two, week three, week four, and I went, what is going on? And then I think I was talking to probably my sister, and she was like, You are just, you are just going and going and going and going and going. You haven't had time to take time for yourself. You guys are always doing something. You just haven't had a quiet time. And even the quietness, like I wasn't, and I know some people can do it, but for me, I'm thinking, oh my goodness, like what in the world? So then I realized I told my husband, I think on Sunday, because it works better for me, that I just needed everybody just like, can we not rush to go anywhere? Because we are always, you know, from Monday to Friday, of course, she's got school, then Saturday she's got lessons, and we're out by nine o'clock in the morning. So, and then we come home late. So Sunday I said, you know, it'd be nice. So now Sundays is a quiet time where we don't get up quickly, we take time for ourselves, take you know, we spend time with the, you know, just catching up as a family together. I mean, but it's kind of hilarious because, and well, not hilarious as well, but even on Saturdays, uh, Saturdays is family time because we're traveling together because I heard barn lessons at another barn. So that's when we use our time as a family. We're talking in the car and then we have lunch together. We're like a traveling pack, the three of us. And so we spend most of our time in the car talking. And other people are probably thinking, you know what? You guys travel a lot with this horse thing. I'm telling you, I don't know, maybe there's an equestrian family out there that could relate to us. But for us, it works, so we make the most of it when we're the three of us, when we're all together. And sometimes my friends will text me or friends at work or other friends, and they're like, Are you, do you want to go catch up for coffee? And I'm like, and I could, because I haven't seen them. I'm exhausted. And I just take a breather myself. I say, no, I need to slow down. Or if Olivia, she wants to do something, because she loves to go, go, go. And I say, No, you I you need to stay home because you too need to slow down. Like you've been going out all week, you've been busy, you've been playing out. Just take the time, and you gotta learn to take a breather and have some quiet time. Or and she'll be like, Mom, I'm bored. And I I said, Bored is good. Okay, bored is good. Learn to be bored. I don't know if that's a thing, but I'm like, it's okay. One day when you're not doing anything, when you're not visiting any families, when you're not going out with your friends outside, we're not going to the barn, you can figure something else to do. And it doesn't have to be on your tablet all the time. You know, you can clean your room, things like that. Organize your squishies. Oh my goodness, so squishies, I tell you. I think I'm the number one squishy mom. You're probably thinking, no, you're the number one squishy. Like, I tell you what. Squishies unbelievable. Why didn't I think of squishies? Practically a squishy myself. Okay, so I I hope sharing this story or sharing my journey, and I'm

Self Talk And Encouragement For Moms

SPEAKER_00 21:52

still learning too. My daughter's only nine, and I'm 15. And I'm just telling you, being a mama at 50. Is amazing and I love it. Um, and my daughter, you know, she helps me learn things and she she's she's hilarious. And my husband is amazing. I have to say that because just in case he's listening, and he'll be like, Did you ever say I was amazing? And I can say I did tell you that you're amazing. So I wanted to give you some maybe this has helped you fall asleep. You're welcome. Apparently, people say that I talk when I talk a lot, it helps them fall asleep. So if you listen to me because you want to go to sleep and you're drifting off, you're welcome. Okay, so remember you are the best mom for your child, you are the best wife for your husband, and you're doing the best you can with the time that is given with the resources you have. I mean, seriously, you are. And if you have that friend where you can reach out, maybe you have time in your schedule or you need to make time, or make time for yourself. Like you're always with someone, or you gotta go to this appointment, and you gotta take your child here and there, and you want to learn slow down. It's okay if you take some time for yourself. And maybe I don't know what that looks for you. Maybe it's to like you say, I just want to, I don't know, whatever that looks to. For me, it may be like I just want to sleep in a little bit longer, and I tell my husband and daughter, nope, I'm not cooking. You guys can figure it out for yourself. Or I'm like, no, I'm in the car and I use this time for myself. Or maybe, um, I don't know. For me, I'm still learning different ways of how to slow down. I used to like always thought, oh, I better catch up this person and I better catch up that person, I better catch. And I'm like, if I don't want to go, I'm okay. And I and my friends are very understanding. And I'll be like, no, I'm I'm really tired. Like, I just need to pull it back for me because I need to take care of myself so I don't go crazy. As my husband would say, she's going on a tornado, and I'm like, whatever. Anywho, so just want to say once again, you're doing the best you can with the kindness given, with the resources you have. You are amazing, mom. Look, you are you are amazing, mom, and you're a wonderful friend too. You are a wonderful friend, and remember to be a friend to yourself. Say nice things to yourself, absolutely say nice things to yourself. I say nice things to myself. I mean, hello. I tell myself you're amazing, you're doing the best you can. I tell you what, you are amazing. And if someone else says it's not amazing, it's okay because you said you're amazing, and you know, you have people who love you and want the best for you. So, okay, mom with an only child. Hi, thank you for listening once again, and I'll catch you in the next episode.

Resources Period Book And How To Reach Me

SPEAKER_00 24:48

And then I do have a new website, so you can check out my website, and they're free resources. And then, if you're looking for a book, the period book, you want to explain the period to your child and just uh help her, you know, talk about that before she gets her period. It's an introduction, it's like an icebreaker. That book, I would recommend it. Just go on Amazon and purchase your book. Otherwise, please reach out to me either through the Buzz Sprout. There's a text link, message me, you can email me. I would love to hear from you. So thank you very much for being part of this community. And I would sing a song, but I don't know what that song to sing. So I will save you from listening to my song, and you're probably like, oh my goodness, is she gonna end so I can actually go and go to sleep? Okay, take care. God bless. Bye.