SUCCESS! Not a long word, but possibly a long definition. In this episode, we will discuss YOUR definition of success and how to break free from what society tells you success should be. It could be a tough question to answer, but I'm going to give you a guide map to follow to set your goals to achieve true success catered just for you. I'll share my own journey to personal success and how I too redefined my own success.
Here's the highlights of this episode:
Now get started and build that success ladder on your own terms!
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00:00:00] You have tuned in to the designer within podcast, episode number five.
Welcome to the designer within podcast, the business minded podcast created for interior designers and creatives by an interior designer and creative me. I know firsthand the challenges, but also the victories that can come with our careers. And I'm here to sip and spill the tea with you. It's time to dive deep within yourself and redesign your business and your life from the inside out.
Together, we will uncover secrets and share valuable insights. So prepare for a truly transformative experience, because it's time to Unleash the Designer Within.
Hello everybody. Welcome to episode number five of the designer within podcast. So happy to have you along for the journey. Happy to have you continue on. If it's your first time here, welcome. If you're a continued listener, we welcome you back. If you've missed some of the first episodes. I [00:01:00] invite you to go back and listen to some of those and hopefully learn some things from there and continue to learn with us as we grow and as we all learn new things about ourselves and new ways to help our businesses grow.
Now today's episode is A very interesting topic. It's a topic that I've honestly been wanting to discuss for a very long time and it is a very personal topic for me and I hope for you as well. And I hope that you can find some things to relate to within our discussion today. But my question that I pose to you and the topic of this podcast is whose ladder of success Are you climbing?
That's a very big question, right? And it's a question that I think a lot of us, if we really stop and ponder, we are probably, at least partially, climbing someone else's ladder. A success ladder that someone else has built. A success ladder to someone else's place of success. So on today's episode, I want us to dive into [00:02:00] the notion of climbing someone else's ladder of success, questioning whether the traditional definitions of success truly align with our individual aspirations.
A very important question to ask. Join me as we explore the importance of defining your own success and breaking free from the constraints imposed by society's expectations. my first question to you is, how do you define success? If you look in the dictionary, or several dictionaries, I checked them out.
It will give you a couple of different definitions, the first one is probably what we all think about. It is a degree or measure of succeeding a favorable or desired outcome. And then it says, also, the attainment of wealth, comma, favor, comma, or eminence. that is probably what a lot of people think about when they think about success.
If you're scrolling through social media and you see that fabulous. Vacation someone's taking or the house that they just built or the car that they just bought [00:03:00] or the outfit that they're wearing You think wow, you know They have so much money and the world loves them and they're they're just they have so much favor and they're a celebrity or whatever their status is and that status and that wealth and that fame could be something that a lot of people try to Obtain and that's fine.
If that is a goal of yours or anyone's, that is fine. There's nothing wrong with that whatsoever. My question to you is, Is that your ladder that you're climbing? Or is that a ladder, as I said, that someone else has propped up and you are climbing on their steps because they have told you what success should mean and I think a better definition that I found which makes more sense to me and hopefully makes more sense to you because there is a pathway to get there it's a very simple definition.
It's the achievement of desired visions and planned goals. That makes more sense to me because I. I am in control of it. I am in control of the goals and the visions and the plans that I set for my [00:04:00] life. And when I achieve those, that is the true definition of success. But unfortunately, a lot of times many of us don't sit down and plan those goals and plan a vision for the rest of our lives or even think about what that vision would be.
today I hope to stir up something inside of you to help you begin that journey. To begin planning and to begin defining your own success and to figure out once and for all, whose ladder you are climbing and hopefully to construct your own ladder of success.
and by the way, when you ask everybody that definition of success has so many different definitions to different people, everyone has a different definition of success and there's no right or wrong answer. Everyone could be correct in whatever feels right to them. Here is a definition of success from Ralph Waldo Emerson. He says his definition is to laugh often and much to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a little better. [00:05:00] Whether by a healthy child or a garden patch.
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is success. Don't you love that? My goal and my desire for you is to ask you to stop and truly come up with a definition that means something to you that comes from your heart and that comes from your soul not coming from someone else.
But every one of us is going to have Obviously, a different definition of success in our lives, and that is okay. My plan was just to figure out for myself what that definition was, and I'm going to share that with you in a moment.
I just want to implore you to also start that plan and that journey of figuring out what your own pathway to success looks like. So there's the wellbeing aspect of success, and I want to give you some of the components that make up the well being aspect. and I wanted to ask you to consider and to think about if these components of well being are part of what you [00:06:00] feel to be successful.
So the first one is emotional success, which It's really just feeling good, having a good emotional feeling. The second one is social success. Basically, you're feeling connected, involved with those around you. Occupational success, very obvious you're feeling fulfilled by the work that you do.
Financial success, being able to afford the things that you need, not the things that you want, but the things that you need. And lastly, community success, which is the well being of your friends, your family, and just the community at large. So these five things really make up the well being aspect of success.
And once again, those are emotional success. Social success, occupational success, financial success, and community success. as we go through today's podcast, and as we talk about success, keep those things in mind, because those are the components that make up the aspect of well being. And I want you to ask yourself, are you incorporating those into your definition?
Now, my next [00:07:00] question is this. Now, this is a doozy, and this is probably one that may hit home, but are you letting the world define success for you? are you letting outside forces, outside people, people you may or may not even know define success for you?
And have you started climbing someone else's ladder? are you continuing to climb someone else's ladder? Again, if we watch television, if we're on social media, we see the successful realtors on these real estate shows. I, I see them and my God, they so get on my nerves and I feel like they are all just climbing to the top of this ladder to make as much money as possible.
And, you know, on that journey that they're on, I don't really know what their journey is. Their journey is their journey and their pathway to success is theirs. But they're really frankly kind of annoying to me to watch them on this. Journey to success that they have and my fear is let's say you're a realtor and you're watching them And you think that the only way to success is if you sell a 20 million dollar house in the Hollywood Hills That is not true.
That is their success [00:08:00] your definition of success could be selling a 500, 000 home to someone who is truly grateful for the services that you provide because you put more value in the fact that this client is thankful and appreciative and that you gave a family a great home. your success is being defined by the emotional reaction that you get from the homeowner versus the dollar that you have from that transaction.
And I feel as if some of these people, and again, no fault of their own or no fault at all, But they are definitely putting the focus on the financial and the wealth building part of it, which is definitely a component of it. But if that is all that is defining success for anybody, it is the wrong definition.
I will say that.
And a funny side note, I'm actually met one of those real estate agents from one of those popular TV shows at a party recently. Um, let's just say that the on air personality definitely was. their in-person personality was not impressed was very cocky was not a personable [00:09:00] person.
I could tell that the driving force behind. The goal for that evening was to continue to advance their real estate empire. and, uh, I was somehow not a part of that. so it was obvious to me that they're on camera personality and their goals.
Definitely were true and they were honest with who they were. And that definitely was part of who I met that night.
So my first degree is in business management. It's not a bad degree. It's a fine degree. But if you had known me at all during any part of my elementary, middle, or high school, a business degree would not have been your prediction for John McClain. Nope, would not. I... Really wanted to be an actor. I was an outgoing kid.
I was always doing plays in school. I was writing plays. I was acting in plays. I was singing. I was doing all the creative things. Poetry. So business really never even crossed my mind, frankly, and acting did. And because it seemed as a great outlet for me. But how could I make a living at this [00:10:00] career?
How could I make a living at a career that really probably in my head and what other people said? It was just for fun and would not make a lot of money and after high school I started doing a few roles here and there and acting a little bit and then I didn't get paid a lot for those and it was nothing really to write home about.
So these little tiny parts that I would get were fun and we're great exposure and fun things to talk about when Oh, did you see me in that television show? But it wasn't anything that was going to be wealth building or financially stable for me. not even to the point of just surviving, I think.
So at that point, I was like, wow, maybe the rest of the world is right. Maybe a business degree. That's all I heard. John, you have to get a business degree, get a business degree, get a degree in business. You can do business, business, business, business will get you a guaranteed job. So a business degree.
It was. And I entered college and started my courses towards my business degree, of course, you have your foundational courses and English and debate and all the math courses. And I really excelled, [00:11:00] as you can imagine, in all of the English and debate and anything that was remotely related to performance or writing.
But the accounting, the math. all the algebra stuff. Let's just say there was no dean that was going to put me on any list for those classes and I hated them. I hated them with a passion. And as the courses got closer to the end of graduation, I began to really hone in on the focus of my degree, then it got even more cumbersome and more laborious for me.
And I really truly hated going to class because there was nothing about those courses. remotely appealing to me, but again, I was working toward that degree that was going to get me that quote unquote wonderful job and I was going to be quote unquote successful. after graduation, I thought, well, you know, I have to use this said degree, this business degree.
And by the way, I have a major and I have a minor and I don't even remember what my minor is at this point. If that tells you anything, I don't even remember what it was. I know it was. Business administration with management, and I don't even remember what my minor was. That's how [00:12:00] little I care about it, but I will say I do appreciate the diligence of going to school and getting that education, and it did teach me a lot now, and I can look back on that and see, like, yes, I can apply.
Thankfully, a lot of that to the business aspects of running my company, which is great and sharing a lot of this with you guys, but it was not the career path I was focusing on at the time. after graduation, I said, let's use this degree. So I took a job working for local cable company, and I was selling television advertising, which was not business related but it was somewhat in the ballpark, and I like this particular position because I would not only sell the advertising and work alongside my colleagues, but I would then host local commercials.
So I would host these little 15 minute infomercials for the people who are still advertising to and that to me was fun. That to me was a bit of a reward for going through all of the selling that I had to do to get the deal. Then I was able to go in and talk to the business owner about what we were selling.
that was sort of. Playing on both of my [00:13:00] strengths, I would say it allowed me to, you know, use that business degree because that business degree did get me the job. It was the part that they wanted because I was able to show them that I have a degree in business. And they liked that, but they also liked that I did have a, an acting background, and I was able to kind of parlay that into part of that career.
So, I did that, and it was great, and I had a great time doing it, but somehow, the luster started to fade, and I realized that This was really not what I wanted to do. This was not my passion. This was not what was going to have any sort of longevity for me. And in the back of my mind was always design.
It was always home. It was always this feeling that I was missing out on something in my life. And I knew what it was and I knew that I needed to do that. But I just didn't know how to do that or, how to sort of put aside the voices of other people telling me that I needed to continue because at that point in my early 20s, I was making a lot of money, um, more money than frankly someone in their early 20s [00:14:00] should be making.
I had bought a house and a car and all the things that you get when you have money. And, you know, to, to the outside person, I was very successful and I was on paper, but inside. Inside, I was not successful. Inside, I was just going through the motions of following through on someone else's definition of success and I was totally climbing someone else's ladder until the point when I said enough is enough and I really, really have to follow my own path and that's when I started venturing out and doing things on my own that would lead me to where I am today.
next I want to talk about unhealthy comparisons. This could be anything in life, but in relation to what we're discussing today, let's talk about unhealthy comparisons on our path to success and our definition of success. I see it all the time, by the way, within the design community, and I may get into some trouble with my designer friends for this, but I have been guilty to I've been guilty of exactly what I'm about to talk to you about.
it's things like I have to attend this event because I have [00:15:00] to see this person or I have to show my face here because I want to get in this magazine or I want to get on this television show. I mean, it's not. Being on the cover of a magazine like your colleague or even being in the magazine that defines success.
side note, I've had projects get more publicity from my own social media posts than being in a magazine. But that shiny, bright highlight on social media... It's really hard to compete with for anyone. That's the best of the best that looks so great. It is perfection. It is the beautifully styled home.
everybody all glammed up. It is on a gorgeous vacation. and it doesn't really show all of the behind the scenes, the warts and all of everything. But I mean, because even think about the models. in magazines, they're touched up to the perfection. Literally, no one can ever look like that. No one can even ever compete to look like that.
Not even them. And you have all of these people and young people even who are influenced by that and who want to look like that and who feel that that is the way to look. And [00:16:00] I know for a fact that a lot of these people, what they're going to do. off that they've probably starved themselves four days before that and no carbs and, you know, dehydrated themselves so that everything is popping and looking great.
That is not a way to live every day of your life. And I think that that is just an unreasonable way for us all to try to strive to be. Um, so really the things that we are seeing from other people sometimes is not necessarily the truth and their success probably and could be what they are defining as success is also based upon what other people are feeding them as success.
for me, I've had a lot of the things that the world would deem as success. I started out on a design TV show and now I have offices on both. Beautiful coast of the United States. I've been in magazines on the cover of magazines on other TV programs. I've had my own product line. I've had my book published.
written for national publications. I've had beautiful homes for myself designed multimillion dollar homes. But what I soon realized was that [00:17:00] was all fleeting, even my book, right? Even as I, as much as I love my book and as exciting as it was to make it and as exciting as it is to have it, and as much as I am thankful that you all love it.
I can honestly say that once I hit the top of that mountain with that book, it was like, all right, now what, now what else, what else do I have to move forward to now? What other quote unquote success definition do I have to achieve? What other mountain do I have to climb to define success in relation to?
other people because if I'm completely honest with you, my book started out as a bit of a narcissistic, uh, development. It was something that I really did because it was a bucket list item for me and frankly, as I started writing it, I realized that there needed to be a bigger purpose behind it and I wanted it to have.
A bigger meaning for more people. And that's when I really put more time into the chapters and making sure that the words that I wrote were also going to resonate with more people. And so it sort of took a turn from the point of when I [00:18:00] started writing it and to the point of when it was published for the better, I think.
I think also, I don't know, my publisher, if you're listening, but I don't know if, if I would have. started off on that pathway. If my publisher would have been so keen to publish it because I did want it to be a sort of a book for the masses, a book for everybody. And I wanted designers to not look like we're this unreachable class of people.
And that was a great start to the journey for myself, for defining my own level of success and for really Reminding myself who I really was because during high school and during the days, I was a friend to everyone. I never discounted anyone based upon a social status. I never was not friends with someone.
Based upon who their friends were or how they looked or how much money they had or whatever. it never occurred to me. And the older I got unfortunately, I lost sight of that and I realized the more I got older past that point that I needed to return back to that and that I needed to remember that people are just people and that everybody has a value in this [00:19:00] world And that is the point to where I've come to now.
That is the realization that I have. And that is where I work from on everything that I do finding the value in every single person. So sorry for that tangent, but it did seem to fit in with what we were talking about there. again, I have been fortunate enough to have a lot of the Success that the world deems as success.
But now once I sat down and thought about success and by the way, this all came from, my mentor and friend Toby Fairley. She did the podcast episode and a lot of coaching and training about this very subject years ago. And it woke me up to realize that I was riding someone else's coattails. And I was It's following someone else's definition of success.
But now success means waking up on my own terms in the morning. It means starting my day really slowly. It means having my coffee and holding my dog and watching morning television, meditating if I want to. But it doesn't mean waking up to irate clients or vendors or people who are upset or asking for anything from me.
It's surrounding [00:20:00] myself with great clients and great team members and great people and setting those boundaries for myself to only work with people that I enjoy partnering with and working with. That is success to me. I have even turned down opportunities that other people might see as a successful opportunity.
I've turned down licensing deals, ambassador opportunities. I've turned down fabulous trips to different parts of the world because they just didn't feel. Right for me. to do it, it has to fit in the values that I have developed for myself.
And then we've talked about values on a previous episode. And if you haven't. Heard that episode. Please go back and listen to it. but those values are the driving force behind my path to success. And if what I'm going to do in my personal or business life does not fall under one of those values, and it does not fit into this plan that I've already set for myself, then I don't do it.
plain and simple. And I think by setting those terms up with ourselves, it is just a great way to kind of take things off the list that You don't even have to ponder anymore. There's no back and forth. There's no wondering [00:21:00] if you have to do this and you have to do that because it's going to further your career or do something because the world thinks that you have to do that.
If it doesn't follow your pathway to success that you have defined, then you're just plain and simple, not going to do it.
by the way, when I stopped doing all of the success paths that other people have created and the things that other people deemed as success, guess what happened to me? I became a better leader. I became a better person. I decided to follow my own path for success rather than others. And I work from this place of abundance mindset.
I know. I know that there's enough work out there for everyone. I know that there are enough great clients out there. There's enough money flowing out there. There's enough success for us all to have it. And by working from this full abundant mindset. And sharing in the success of others and celebrating others, that's a big part of it to part of my success is celebrating the wins and the success of people that I love and care about.
But by doing that and working from that abundance [00:22:00] mindset. I will tell you, it has released so much stress in me and allowed me to be a better human being and definitely a better leader and a better business person.
when I started to outline my goals of what success would look like for me, a large portion of my stress melted away. With defining success, I was able to basically relax and trust the process. I literally, I think I mentioned to you all before, I have a little post it on my computer that I've had for years and years and years that just says.
Trust the process. And it's true. It is something that I follow so closely because there is a process and if you do trust that process, there is an outcome that will be beneficial for you. but this is in part due to the implementation of the goals that I've set. once you begin to define success based on controllable goals, these goals that are part of your process, then you are free to trust in yourself.
And the goals that you've set in place. So if your success is based upon the goals that you've set for yourself, not other people's goals for you, but your goals that you have set for yourself, this in turn reduces [00:23:00] the amount of stress and anxiety that you feel. By first focusing on the accomplishment of your goals, you will begin to feel much more positive and confident about yourself during that time
and now that we've talked about the definition of success and how others can influence that, let's talk about how to begin defining your own definition of success and how to climb your own ladder and how to build your own ladder without. A destination, a journey can be long and exhausting and sometimes even frustrating.
You're constantly seeking an end, yet when you get there, you don't even realize that you've arrived. success can be equally never ending because without a clear idea of when you've reached your goal. of what you deem to be success, you invite many negative thoughts on your mind.
and you have to give yourself the opportunity to arrive. You have to give yourself that freedom to arrive there. It is not an overnight journey. But as we're thinking about how society influences us, I want you to take a moment to reflect on the societal [00:24:00] expectations you have encountered regarding success, and ask yourself these questions.
What societal messages or standards of success have you been exposed to throughout your life? Big question. And how have those messages influenced your own definition of success? And lastly, are there any expectations from society that conflict with your own personal values or any aspirations that you've had?
That's one that really stuck with me when I realized that what society was expecting of me really conflicted with my own personal values in a lot of ways. And that was the sticking point for me to start changing those goals and to change my definition of success.
But on the flip side of that, I want you to think about the role models or other people that you've looked up to regarding success and ask yourself these questions. Who are the role models when it comes to success for you? And why do you consider them role models? What is important about what they're doing as success that makes them a successful person to you?
How have they, these role models, influenced your [00:25:00] definition of success, if they have? lastly, Have you ever compared yourself to others in terms of success? And if so, how has this affected your own perception of yourself and your well being? And we talked about well being earlier and that definition of success as it pertains to well being.
So how has comparing yourself to other people affected your own self perception and your own well being?
to go deeper here, these are a few more questions that I really want you to ask yourself now that we've talked about societal influences and You know, sort of question those assumptions. It's really time to start defining success on your terms and ask yourself these questions. what are the core values and principles that guide your life?
And how can success be aligned with those values and principles? If you know what those values and principles are, how can your success go hand in hand with those values and principles? what aspects of your life bring you the most fulfillment and happiness, independent? Independent of any external validation, independent of what anybody else says [00:26:00] is successful, independent of a magazine or some sort of pat on the back or something that someone else says is good, what parts of your life bring you the most fulfillment and happiness independent of external validation?
Because the importance of understanding your core values and their connection to your definition of success is super important. Your values serve as your guiding principles that shape your choices, all of our actions, and really our priorities. By reflecting on your values, you can align your pursuit of success with what you truly feel matters to you.
now they've asked yourself those questions. I have a few more that I want you to really think about. take a moment to reflect on your past achievements and successes that you've had ask yourself what accomplishments are you most proud of, what things that you've done really bring a sense of pride to you and what specific skills or qualities did you have that helped you reach these achievements what are moments in your life when you felt truly alive and fulfilled? Those moments where [00:27:00] you felt that you were on top of the world. Think about those moments. Write those down. What experiences were you engaged in during those times when you felt like this?
Where were you? What were you thinking? What was happening? Who was with you? did those moments align with your values and your passions? Finally, did those moments and these fabulous parts of life where you felt truly alive and fulfilled, did these achievements contribute to your overall sense of fulfillment?
and next I want you to do this. I want you to close your eyes, take a few deep breaths. And I want you to visualize your ideal life, free from limitations or external expectations. All other things from society, forget about it. I want you to imagine yourself living a life that aligns with your values.
Your passions and your strengths. What does this ideal life look like? What are you doing? Where are you? How do you feel? What activities, relationships, or [00:28:00] achievements are contributing to all of this sense of fulfillment? How does this vision of your ideal life Align with your own definition of success.
This feeling that you're showing yourself in your mind's eye, how is it aligning with your own pathway to success. Setting goals is key to success and setting goals provides a clear road map and it helps you to stay focused and motivated on the journey because by establishing goals that are in harmony with your values and aspirations, you can make steady progress towards living a fulfilling and purposeful life. I've done that. I know exactly that that's true and as you're defining your goals and as you're moving towards success and constructing this ladder of success, be specific and open ended definition of success never produces results.
It just doesn't. I like to use the SMART method, S M A R T method of goal setting and goal achieving, and that is specific. Measurable, achievable, [00:29:00] relevant, and time bound. And here are the steps. So be specific, clearly defined. That's the S, by the way, specific. Clearly defined what you want to achieve. So clearly define what you are looking to achieve.
Do not be vague. Do not give general statements. Be very, very clear. The M in SMART is measurable. Establish concrete criteria. To track your progress and determine when the goal is achieved, you have to have concrete criteria to find out how you are progressing and when that goal is going to be achieved or else you will not know if you've achieved it or not.
Again, back to that open endedness and open ended definition does not. Produce results achievable. SMA achievable. Ensure that your goal is realistic and attainable with your current circumstances and resources. I think that's very self-explanatory, relevant. This is the R. Confirm that your goal is meaningful.
And aligned with your visions, values, and aspirations. So it [00:30:00] has to be relevant to your life. Time bound is the T in SMART. And that is simply setting a deadline or a timeframe for accomplishing your goal to create a sense of urgency and focus. Again, we have to have a timeframe or we will let this go on forever.
And we're never going to come to a conclusion or find the end of it. So make sure that your goals have a time frame set to them. So the smart method, S. M. A. R. T. Specific, measurable, measurable. Achievable, relevant, and time bound. And listen, things are not going to always be easy on this journey. As you set these goals for yourself to find success, it's going to get rough.
And if you face challenges on your pathway to climbing your own ladder, it can be helpful if you just revisit your vision of success and reconnect with those goals and ask yourself, how does your vision of success? Inspire and motivate you during these difficult times to look to that vision to really know why you are moving toward this pathway to success.
And then also ask [00:31:00] yourself, are your goals still aligned with your values and your aspirations? Or do you need to adjust them sometimes on the pathway to success, you might need to readjust your goals because your values have changed, your values changed throughout your whole life, we always need to be revisiting those.
And lastly, if you feel like your goals are a little too large and maybe too broad, you can break them down into smaller, more manageable steps to make progress.
essentially by reaffirming your purpose and your direction, it will help you stay focused and resilient. Remember, challenges are an inevitable part of any journey towards success. By anticipating potential obstacles, reframing challenges as opportunities, and developing these resilient strategies and strategies.
Staying connected to your vision and your goals, you can overcome roadblocks and continue moving forward on your pathway to success. The importance of cultivating meaningful connections and nurturing relationships to on your journey to defining success on your own terms is important because building and maintaining supportive relationships [00:32:00] can provide you with a sense of belonging, emotional support.
And really just a network of people who uplift and inspire you. So I encourage you to find people who are like minded, find people who are also on a journey to develop their own success path and align yourself with those people and support one another.
Defining success on your own terms really empowers you to break free from society's norms and expectations. It enables you to embark on a pathway that truly. Resonates with your unique essence by delving deep within yourself and really questioning your beliefs, your values and your motivations.
You gain clarity and insight into what truly matters to you. The process helps you shed these external. Definitions of success that really may have imposed upon you. And finally, once and for all, discover your own authentic vision. Understanding your personal definition of success brings such a huge value to your life.
When you align your actions and your goals with your own [00:33:00] aspirations, you cultivate a Deep sense of purpose and fulfillment. Every step that you take becomes such a meaningful contribution to your own growth and your own well being rather than just pursuing external validation.
So by prioritizing your own version of success. You're essentially reclaiming control over your own life. You're cultivating your own self confidence and creating a sense of harmony and sense of balance in your life. when you've made a decision about your purpose for doing anything, life, work, family, whatever it is, then you have a destination to move towards. And when you have this clear destination about where you want to go and why you even want to go there, all you have to do is Pick a plan and move towards it.
If you're wrong on that, which does happen a lot, it happens to me, you just learn from it, you grow, and you refocus and start over. you sort of just pivot? Think about that Friends episode. And when you define success based on your own standards, you [00:34:00] know That you're on the right track, the feelings of success arise when we decide to do something and our results end up falling in line with our expectations for how it would end up.
How powerful is that? The way to tap into that power is to attach as much enjoyment to the journey part as we have in the end result. So discovering your own definition of success can really be a transformative journey, but it's not always easy. It requires us to look inside. It requires self reflection.
It requires courage to challenge these societal norms and expectations. And along the way, you're going to encounter various challenges and doubts that can hinder your progress. And I wanted just to share before we wrap up a few strategies to navigate those challenges and overcome your doubts along that journey.
First of all, embrace your self reflection. Take the time to understand yourself. Your values, your passions and reflect on what truly matters to you and what brings you fulfillment. We've talked about this in this episode, but it bears repeating. be honest with yourself about [00:35:00] what success means to you personally rather than relying on external influences or comparisons.
Challenge societal expectations is number two. Society often imposes these predefined notions of success, such as, as I said, wealth and status and recognition, recognize that these standards may not align with your own values and aspirations, and give yourself permission to redefine success on your own terms based on what truly brings you joy and a sense of purpose.
Thirdly, embrace trial and error. As I said, it's not going to be an easy journey every time, but finding your own definition of success is an ongoing process. And it's okay to experiment, to try different paths and to make mistakes along the way. I want you to view your setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning as every setback should be.
I'm going to do a podcast very soon about failing and the positive aspects of failing. And there really are positive aspects of failing I also encourage you to embrace a growth mindset, it will really help you to persevere during those challenging and doubtful times.[00:36:00] Next, surround yourself with support. As I just said before, seek out a supportive network of friends, family, or mentors who understand and respect your journey.
Talk to like minded people and people who value your personal growth and your authenticity. Their encouragement and their guidance can really provide valuable insight. And help you stay motivated during those difficult times. These can be online, in person, in a Facebook group, wherever it is.
But find people who support you I want you to cultivate self belief. remember doubts are natural, but they can hinder your progress. Remind yourself of your unique qualities. Strengths and those past achievements that we talked about celebrate the small victories on the way.
There are small victories, and if we just brush by those small victories and never celebrate them, then we're forgetting that those victories are a stepping stone towards the real pathway to success that we have built. Success is not a destination, as I said, it is a journey. So take time to acknowledge and celebrate your progress, regardless of how small it may seem. Think about that journey and remember that the journey [00:37:00] towards success is personal and does not need validation from anybody else.
Developing self confidence will really help you stay resilient in the face of any challenge.
Next, practice self care. navigating challenges and doubts requires taking care of your physical, mental and emotional well being. Prioritizing self care activities that recharge you like exercise or meditation Or a hobby that you like, or just simply spending time in nature or taking a walk.
I want you to also regularly assess and redefine your definition of success as you grow and evolve, and as your life changes, think about how your definition of success might also be changing, and allow it to adapt to those changing values, those changing passions in your life, and changing aspirations in your life.
But remember, finding your own definition of success is really important. Really personal. It's an individual process and embrace the challenges and doubts as opportunity for self discovery and growth by staying true to yourself and [00:38:00] persevering, you can navigate any obstacle that comes along the way and really create a meaningful and fulfilling life on your own term.
staying committed to your journey. requires daily effort. By reconnecting with your why, your why, not society's why, by cultivating daily motivation, Embracing your resilience and seeking support, you can navigate any challenges and maintain your dedication to defining success on your own terms and building that ladder of success that you want to build.
I want you to celebrate the progress and achievements along the way. I want you to remember that success is not just an end point, but that continuous journey of growth and fulfillment. Embrace that process. Stay true to yourself and enjoy the transformative power that comes with defining success on your own terms.
I wish you continue and fulfillment on your unique path. I'm going to leave you with a quote from Albert Schweitzer that I love. He says, Success is not the key [00:39:00] to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. And I wish you all the success in the world, my friend.
I'll see you on the next episode. Thanks for listening.
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See you next time.