Creativity is not obedient (and apparently, neither am I)

It's funny, listening to this episode now, I hear myself trying to force creativity into a place it simply couldn't exist.

I don't know if this is a relaunch but it's just a step in sharing something I felt like today. 

Creativity isn't obedient to a schedule. 

Mine was nowhere to be found for a good while. I tried so many things to pull it back, to tap into it but nothing I produced during that time would stick with me.

A year after is flooding back and I don't have enough hours to channel it.

Hello again! This is a personal reflection on life change, creativity and the conscious choices we make to move our life forward.  

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Transcript

Hi everyone,

Maybe I should say hi again, because if you are listening I guess it’s likely you stayed subscribed through my very long podcast hibernation. 

I already tried once to relaunch in 2024 and disappeared again. I definitely wasn’t lying when I said in my episode in jan 2024 my creativity was dead. Dormant. Couldn’t tap into it. Remember my episode unemployment: creativity boos or a killer? It was maddening, I had more time than I did in decades and wasn’t able to bring any of the ideas that I was trying to push to light.

So here we are, another year later, and can’t still promise consistency, but I can promise when I show up I do it genuinely, because I want to share something real, and I have the space for it, hopefully you find it insightful and relatable. 

Why the long hibernation?

As many of you may know, I lived in the United States , California for over 12 years and just moved back to Spain in 2024. I am originally from Spain so even though I lived close to 15 years outside the country I underestimated that even in my home country, it would not be that easier to start over, to start from scratch once more, even less so close to your 40s.

 Starting from scratch felt like being given a blank canvas with no guidance, and my creativity, my spark, didn’t respond to the time I suddenly had. 

It’s funny to look back: even when I had a whole summer in the mountains, plenty of time, no job obligations — I produced almost nothing publicly. Sure, I was tinkering behind the scenes, trying to start a venture, even got myself into to a business incubator to force myself to land ideas — but nothing convinced me enough to really commit. 

Creativity wasn’t obedient.

Creativity did not respond to come out when I asked it to. Not even when I was trying to force it. It didn't respond to the fact I had time, not even by myself in a beautiful physical surroundings. 

Now, a year later, it’s flooding  back. I started reconnecting with it when I reconnected with myself, found solid ground, direction and space. 

I found creativity responds to context, to our surroundings, how we are connected to our surroundings and to ourselves. And maybe it truly never leaves us, it's just that it shows in different ways, sometimes in bits, sometimes in bursts. Sometimes it's just there but we can’t see it or quite tap into it. 

The point is that it has been a slower process than expected so even though I never stopped creating I had no space to share, my body and mind require it full presence in the ground, with my foot really well rooted. And to be honest, the tech, social media, digital world, is not as grounding for me. Being connected digitally is not a characteristic that's natural or organic of me, I don't love it so it requires, more effort, energy and higher level of creative battery as well. 

That said, what pulled me back? 

Curiosity and the precise creativity float, I am trying to channel in different ways. Also the desire for connection with my surroundings again. 

The curiosity came from a recent observation. I kept seeing these little download spikes. A dormant podcast that kept getting downloads. Especially, and this is the thing I am most curious about, from my mysterious German listeners.

Germany, how are you doing? Half of these podcasts downloads come from you, like close to 50%. If you are listening now, hello, danke! To be honest that was an encouragement.

I have been debating deleting the podcast and account since I have to be very picky where i am investing my time nowadays but I couldn't get myself to do it. 

Not sure about my consistency though.  Since I am working a full time job I love, in the film industry just like I was in LA. I am also doing my side projects, developing things. I am also teaching at a school, and I am always writing and just excited about ideas.

It’s a lot but, because I am feeling extremely creative lately maybe this podcast deserves another round of attention. 

Since I usually make the digital space work for me instead of me working for the algorithm, I couldn't care less about attention and visibility, I may have a chance to sustain this space, which in the end is also a creative channel.

Creativity is not obedient - and apparently neither am I. This podcast is a reminder of it ( laugh emoji ;)

What’s next for this podcast and upcoming potential episodes?

You know the topics, will talk about professional topics that relate to career growth and development, experiences to live in more fulfilment with our professional choices. Less about success more about fulfilment.

It will have a big focus on building genuine connections, what would be the classic networking reframed. Will try to bring back guests once in a while. Societal problems that affect our day to day and of course how humanities will help us stay ahead of AI and the new technologies. 

And yes, I will keep sharing stories from my personal experiences at Disney and other experiences in the USA, since I always get so much feedback about it : )