Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox

#57 Cursed Trophies | Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox

• Bobby Jaycox

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Have you ever wondered what it would be like to hit the road with your best buddy on a comedy tour? Well, buckle up because we're announcing our hilarious tour, spanning cities from Nashville to Chicago! Join me and my pal Tatum, aka Cactus Tate, as we navigate through laugh-out-loud moments, including my comic contemplation of taking up burlesque dancing—despite my absolute lack of sex appeal and dance moves. Plus, I'll take you down memory lane of my high school football days, complete with awkward locker room antics and the unforgettable story of dating a girl on the team, topped off by a not-so-fun recollection of getting punched at an eighth-grade party.

Have you ever accidentally hurt yourself with a Theragun and then found a pumpkin carving kit you forgot you had? This episode is a rollercoaster of emotions as I recount just that, alongside my musings on the meaning of life and the oddities of secondhand items with the holidays fast approaching. Get ready for a trip down memory lane as we talk sports—my love-hate relationship with football, the pure joy of playing NFL Blitz, and how skateboarding can be an art form. And let’s not forget those TV series finales, like "Scrubs," that can hit you right in the feels.

Lastly, brace yourself for a dive into my personal quirks and the thrill of live music. From my weird phobias of trash can lids and stepping on needles to the anticipation of seeing Story of the Year in St. Louis, this chapter is a blend of excitement and hilarity. I’ll also vent my frustrations with modern conveniences, share the eerie saga of a cursed trophy, and ponder the quirks of childhood games like hopscotch. Wrapping it all up, I offer a humorous take on self-love by kissing my reflection and a heartfelt reminder to practice kindness and self-care. This is an episode packed with laughs, nostalgia, and a bit of everything in between!

Speaker 1:

Hello, welcome back. Another episode of Discombobulated, and I have tour dates to announce. I will be in Nashville, tennessee, october 1st. I will be doing Nate Lynn Presents. I'm doing so much cool stuff. I'm on the road with Tatum, my dude, cactus Tate, for her tour and we are coming to cities all over like Louisville, tulsa, oklahoma City, buffalo, tacoma, spokane, alpharetta, raleigh, columbus, ohio, perryburg, dayton, ohio, chicago, manchester, philly, richmond, virginia Beach, houston, dania Beach, chandler, arizona, and I think maybe even more.

Speaker 1:

So make sure you check that out. Go to Cactus Tate's Instagram. She has. What is it called? What is it called? What is it called? Punch up, live, stand up, punch, punch me in the gut and put all my dates up. What is it called? What is it called? What is it called? Punch Up Live, stand Up, punch, punch me in the gut and put all my dates up. What is it called? I can't remember, but it's on her Instagram. You go there has all the tour dates and I'll put some on mine, but it feels weird to put it, to say it like that. It's not like the money tickets from me, it's a link. Now you know how it works. Now you know the ins and outs of the biz, you're welcome. And then, what other shows do I have?

Speaker 1:

I will be doing a burlesque dancing just near in the future. Jk, jk, just kidding. I don't think I could. Here's the thing I don't think I could dance real good like that, you know, like even as a guy, because I don't think I don't. I just don't think that. I don't know, at least I don't know how to be Sexy like you can be good looking, you could be, you can be things, but to be sexy you have to, you have to do that, to be able to like, do burlesque, to be spinning around tasseling up your chest, I just don't think I'd be very good. I guess mine would be the lower part, just be like it wouldn't spin very fast. It's been like those hats you know those joke hats that no one ever wears, but you've seen them in movies. But you're like, where do people buy those? Were those popular ones to have a regular sized hat with a little spinny thing on the top and then nuts hanging off the side. But that's what mine would be. It's that little thing on the top there, like, can that thing even spin? It can't't.

Speaker 1:

There was a kid in my high school though he could do that, bobby? Why do you know? I played football, and if you play football, there's a lot of other stuff that comes with that territory. It's not just you don't just learn, learn sportsmanship, you don't just learn how to come together as a team, you also learn that your middle linebacker has maybe the biggest hog you've ever seen Before games. He will spin it around. Then you will not change and you'll just put your football pants over your jeans. I'm not pulling mine out, I'm not doing that. I'll just play with my jeans on. Mister, he had a seeing eye hog is what we would call it, a special needs hog, a hog, a hog. Just thinking about it, my locker was next to his and then I would just I would just ask everyone I'm like please switch me lockers, because there was, we did have a girl on the football team and I would ask if I could go change over there, and they were like, no, you can't do that.

Speaker 1:

I was like, well, I'm not trying to see her, I'm just trying to get away. I don't think I belong in this locker room. Did you see that guy? I don't think I belong in this locker room. Did you see that guy? I don't think I have one of those. I don't think I have half of one of those. So, if I may, may I please change in the all gender locker room.

Speaker 1:

I dated the girl on the football team. I dated the girl on the football team man, it's pretty cool. And you're like, yeah, I'm dating one of the guys on the football team. You're like who? It's like, well, it's a chick, and you're like well, but it is still a girl that does play football. You're like, you're right, yeah, sure am. We dated when we were younger, not when she was on the team. One of the kids on the team fucking did lay her out and I I was like I don't like that, like, and this was definitely like. You know, it's like freshman year, this girl wants to be like, yeah, I want to play football. And it was awesome. You know, she hung with the team, you did all the stuff. And then we did that thing where you face each other and you run as hard as you can at each other and develop. You know CTE at such a young age. And yeah, they just lined her up and he hit her so hard. And here's the thing. I'm not a fan of that.

Speaker 1:

Also, that same person punched me in the chest in eighth grade at a party. This guy fucking punched me in the chest at a party when we were in eighth grade and I didn't even do anything. I was like what's up? I was just hanging out, I'm being me. Guy was like this guy's funny and then he had too much because he got in an argument with his girlfriend, punched me in the chest. I'd go get x-rays. I thought I broke my chest. That's the truth.

Speaker 1:

And then my parents didn't allow me to go to parties in high school because he punched me. So that guy, big bully, knocked, knocked this lady on the ground and I didn't approve of that. I didn't like that. And I also worked with her at a place called Jilly's cafe. It burned down so you can't go down. I didn't like that. And I also worked with her at a place called Jilly's Cafe. It burned down so you can't eat there. I mean you could, but it'd be fucking so gross Because there's fire. Well, not still, it's not just constantly, it's not like a nuclear waste fire, but anyway, yeah, but I mean that is what. Don't get mad at me. That's like she signed up for that. She had signed up and I also got hit too hard by my best friend.

Speaker 1:

I was running and he didn't. I didn't see him and he's just like, oh sorry Bob, and just fucking laid my ass out. He got a lot of praise for that, I heard, and I got a lot of. I missed out on some breathing. I missed out on some breathing that I'll never get back. Just please get me off the ground, man.

Speaker 1:

I was not good at football. Um, I was. I tried real hard. I remember oh my God, this is fucking so. I remember what this is like maybe sophomore, junior year or whatever, I guess. And, uh, we're I'm fucking definitely not starting.

Speaker 1:

I don't remember what position I I don't remember. I was probably second string cheerleader or something like that and, uh, one of our the guys got hurt. I can't remember. Yeah, it was one of our guys and he was down and he was kind of down for like a second. So we all you know, you all take a knee, which they get mad whenever kaepernick does it, but when a bunch of high school whatever, um, I don't even know what the fucking fuck I'm talking about. I don't even know about football. I played it. I don't even know. I watch it still and I'm like that's holding. And they're like the game hasn't started yet and I'm like they're holding the game up from starting False start.

Speaker 1:

And so this guy got hurt and I remember I was on the sideline and, uh, I don't know why, I was just over, I was overwhelmed with the moment and I was just like he did for us guys, god, I'm so embarrassed he didn't come. Hey, he gave it all. Now we give it all, and we're gonna give it all, and we're going to give it all. And, dude, there's this one coach that none of us respected at all, like he had gotten married during the season and we were like, hey, you're probably still a virgin. And it bothered him so much that an adult was like, just so, you guys know, I'm not a virgin. You have to know that. We were like that's something a virgin would say and am not a virgin. You have to know that we were like that's something a virgin would say. And he was like Bobby, shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1:

I was like, yes, sir, never been more embarrassed, like just immediately, because then it's like I'm like he gave it all and I gave it my all at practice yesterday, but my, I am in. All my clothes are pristine because I'm not going in. Yeah, I was so bad freshman year or no. Whenever we I guess it was like going into senior year. Yeah, maybe going into senior year, senior, I don't remember. But they had me play with like a grade below when we were at camp, just to get, and they were like it's just to get in more reps. No, I didn't like that, I don't. And the really embarrassing thing one hand to God, hand to fuck on a whatever I don't know, on a, yeah, a hand on my religious weenie that when I was going to football camp I also had the worst hemorrhoids, the worst hemorrhoids of my life.

Speaker 1:

I'm trying to brag. My hemorrhoids were so bad. How bad were they? They were so bad that I started bleeding and I had to bring tux, which you're supposed to like wipe it. But I had him so bad that I would have to, like my dad had told me who had good, great moments and awful moments, and this one was a mixture of I don't know. But basically I was like.

Speaker 1:

I basically was like, hey, your son's starting his period and I'm going to football camp and he's like just put a bunch of tux and just leave them there and we had white football pants so I couldn't really play very well because the whole time I had to keep trying to check my ass. Trying to, that was cool. Trying to check my own ass to be like do I have blood back there? Like right before the play. I'd be like did you know you taunt the other guy? You know I'm playing defensive back. I'm like hey, motherfucker, does this look like fucking blood to you? It's like on Deuce Bigelow Male Gigolo. He's like does this look like a little cock? I don't know. I do know this. I got my fucking this Theragun, that's all. We should put it right on the microphone. Oh yeah, that's nice.

Speaker 1:

As you might know, I moved from st louis to austin, so I didn't have all the things that I, that I love, that are near and dear to my heart, and this is one of them. This is literally on my heart right now. My heart is shaking with excitement right now. Hey, what's up? Roscoe, that's my roommate's dog. God, this thing feels so good. It feels like you're trying to. This is what it feels like if Superman gets shot. You're like none of these bullets work. They can keep trying, but I'm fucking Superman, but you think sometimes he's like, oh, that did, I wasn't ready, that did hurt.

Speaker 1:

I don't know, um, do this, get all the fucking mucus out of my chest. Oh yeah, that's the spot. Put it on my armpit. You know you can use it on your armpits too. Don't know if you know that. See what it sounds like if I put it right on my fuck. That hurts. Put it right on my neck, damn, see if I can make myself sneeze. Hold on.

Speaker 1:

When I was a kid, my dad, he was like we had this little like back massager, which I'm really hoping. That's all it was. I'm hoping with my whole heart, that's all it was. But if you put it on your nose long enough and do it like this, it like fucks up your sinuses and you sneeze. Uh, oh, hold on. I think we got one hold on. I think we got one Hold on.

Speaker 1:

Fuck, it's not working. I just fuck. I just hit this Theragun on my nose and it didn't work. What even is? What even is being alive? You know what even does it mean? What does it all mean? I don't know what is this podcast? More importantly, um, but I found my Theragun and it made me so happy. Here's what else I found, found. I also found this thing. Uh, I have a fuck it because the holidays are coming up. It's fuck. It's almost um halloween, it's not. But if they're decorating it, I'm talking about it on my podcast. If you see it in the stars, we're talking about it on discombobulated. I almost stabbed myself with these things.

Speaker 1:

I got this thing which looks oh dude, don't be upside down and stab me in the winky. Um, I got this. It's a little pumpkin carving kit. This is something you get when you're in love and you're like we're gonna carve pumpkins, meet for the rest of our lives, and then you don't, and then you're just a guy who has this. I tried to sell this at a um, at a uh, garage sale, and people don't want secondhand cutting up stuff, really. But I think it's in good condition. So I'll put this online and this is for sale on the Patreon. So make sure you go check out the Patreon. I've also got a bunch of merch for sale. I also have a bunch of stuff in my house I don't want. If you message me, I'll fucking send that shit to you. You can fucking have the fucking shit out of that.

Speaker 1:

What else is going on? Oh, fucking. Yeah, football season is starting up, which is cool. You got the fucking. You got that, you know. And don't even get me all fucking the defenses on every team and the here's what's up.

Speaker 1:

I do know I know about sports, I played sports growing up but as I get older I just don't follow them and I can't. And I'm gonna be honest, maybe as I get older maybe I'll like them more. Who knows? Maybe I'll look back and be like you're being a fucking idiot. You love, you love them. I could see me getting into hockey, possibly UFC, but I don't really. I'd rather like I feel like wrestling, but then that's also weed. I don't know, I'm not that like. Wrestling was better. Whenever I you in high school, you did it and then someone broke my tibia and fibula. Those things kind of seem fun. Basketball seems cool. I want to go to a basketball game. I've never been to a basketball game. I want to do that.

Speaker 1:

But football is just hard for me to get into and I played it too, but it's a lot of stopping and it's not that impressive. I honestly think it too, but it's just. There's so much, it's a lot of stopping and it's not that impressive, like if there. I honestly think it should. You shouldn't even be able. If it's, it should just be throwing. You can't even, you shouldn't be allowed to run it, it's just throwing. It's just throwing. But that's also how I played NFL Blitz when I was a kid. I would just run backwards as far as I could with the quarterback and then, as soon as the whole defense got there and I would just catch it, your body catches on fire and then someone tackles you after the game. God, that game was so fun.

Speaker 1:

Nfl Blitz might be one of the greatest games of literally all time. I haven't played Madden. I can't even fucking tell you the last Madden I played. But I would kill to play some NFL Blitz Like. The last time I played it I was at a bar and I played with my buddy, chris Ribble. Me and him played it. It was a guy I went to high school with. He showed up to a show I was doing. He came up and we hung out and we played Blitz. I was like he's like you want to play Blitz? And then we went to go play. I was like, how much is it? He goes fucking free. I was like, let's go Free.

Speaker 1:

Nfl Blitz Sounds like a package to me and sports to me are always more fun if you're playing it. But I guess I do get it because I'll watch skateboarding videos. I'll watch skateboarding all day, but I also don't watch it like this. When they don't land it, I'm like you fucking jackass. Like when a guy doesn't land a trick, I'm like great, I owe someone fucking $129. I could bet a lot of money on this trick. I don't know. There's just like an artisticness to it, but I still like sport. I don't hate it and just like an artisticness to it, but I still like sports. I don't hate it and I'll go to games. I'll watch sports with my buddies, but you'll never really see me just like putting on a game.

Speaker 1:

The only time I get invested in a game ever this happened back in St Louis is we were going to go do a show and I just hung out at this bar before the show started. Everyone else left but it was the cardinals playing a fucking another team and it was like the last inning and this. It's like they're down by like one or two or whatever, and so it like mattered. I'll get into that. But I'll also do the same thing with like a c whenever a series ends, like whenever scrubs ended. I watched that show a couple of times but then I turned it on and it was the season finale and I watched the shit out of that and I cried my fucking ass off.

Speaker 1:

The book of love is long and boring and written very long ago. It's full of charts Long ago. It's full of charts, facts and figures and instructions for dancing and I I love it. When you sing to me and you. The song's actually kind of lame the more I listen to it. But I loved it. Whenever I first came out, I couldn't stop, stop listening.

Speaker 1:

The book of love is long and boring, but man, he's just like walking past all these people that I barely know because I watched the show only a couple times. I'd come home and just put it on. It's just like that one doctor being like hey, dipshit, you gotta go and kiss that patient. Aww, where's my buddy at kiss that patient? Oh, where's my buddy at. Imagine you get dude. Imagine you go to the hospital and it's that fucking hospital and everyone's like, ooh, you go to the scrubs hospital and no one's taking their job seriously. Everyone's slipping on banana peels, doing fucking inner monologues. I wonder if this guy's really going under a code Seems pretty serious. I'll go talk to a girl I have a crush on. Hey, dipshit, we're getting sued because they get it's malpractice. Dude, what a jackass doctor, oh yeah, but oh yeah, like a doctor, that's just like brutally mean. All the time it's like you're trying to be a doctor. The thing I noticed when I got to that work that day that I put a banana back in her spleen.

Speaker 1:

I like that show, though I don't know why I shit on it. The things I see that I like that. I say I don't. It's all a farce. Yeah, I know big words, I know words. I know words. I know words so big here, dude, let me show you one of my favorite words. It's one of my favorite words in this book, called the dick T-onary. It's one of my favorite fucking words, dude. I was just thinking about this word the other day. The fucking words, dude. I was just thinking about this word the other day. The fucking fluff. It's a word that I think light downy particles make or become fluffy. Well, that's not what fluffing is. Make or become fluffy Well, that's not what fluffing is. You're not. I wouldn't describe that as fluffy. You might be chunking it up More than fluffing it. You might be getting chunked. You might be getting chunked up.

Speaker 1:

Neurosis, functional mental disorder with anxiety, phobias Dude, I got a couple of phobias. I got a couple of phobias. Um, one is that I don't feel like I have OCD and I guess I don't even know if this is like a phobia, but I have a thing whenever I have to lift any other trash lid that's not at my own house and kind of even the one that's at my house is that when I touch it, I'm going to go like this and there's going to be like the grossest thing ever. That's like a skin thing that makes me die, or that I'm walking and I step on a needle and become addicted to whatever was in the needle. People like bobby, you don't, I don't think you know what drugs are. Oh, you don't. Oh, you don't think that. Okay, well, I'll see you out on the road, can't wait to be back on the road.

Speaker 1:

I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm leaving tomorrow. Getting in we're still recording, right. Yeah, getting in a day early, me and Tatum. She gets in a day early and we share a hotel room because that's what she wanted and it's fun, it's nice, you know, waking up to someone who has morning energy and will hit you with a pillow a hotel pillow which is, once you swing it becomes a solid, not a soft, a solid, and I wouldn't say I'm getting fluffed, with the opposite, I'm getting chunking mad. So I'm leaving for that tomorrow and yeah, I talked about it at the top, but we're going to Kentucky and then she's got to go to Fort Wade, Indiana, by herself. I'm sorry she has to go. I can't go with you. Sorry, tatum, bye, bye, todd. Sorry, can't go with you. Why can't you go with her? Well, because I have prior engagements and it's going to see my favorite fucking band, big Blue Monkey yeah, I deadnamed.

Speaker 1:

Story of the Year. Story of the Year is going to be playing in St Louis and I don't know if there's tickets available, but if there are, you should go see them, because I'm going to go see them. I'm going to be hanging out backstage. Unless they lied to me, or if they did, I'll jump a fucking fence and fucking nut tap a security guard. I don't give a flying mother fuck. I'll do my spin moves to go back there and see. Until the day I die, I'll spin my heart for you. For you, until the day I die, I'll spare my heart for you. Da-na-na, ba-na-na, it's gonna da-na. Higher the wall, the harder you fall. Did you get what you came here for? Does the show start at three or four? I don't know. No, no, I'm just gonna get into town and wing it and they're playing with the used and I'll fucking If I cry again.

Speaker 1:

I'm such a fucking bitch or dick or whatever. Sorry, I'm just trying to talk. I just think when I see bands that I grew up with backstage and you're watching them and they're playing songs you used to listen to on the bus driving to Chick's house, sitting there with a girl by her pool listening to the music and you get to see it live, it just makes you feel so good. And since it's a St Louis show because I always have fun seeing them on the road their families are going to be there and I love all of their families.

Speaker 1:

I can't get over how much Dan the lead singer, he has what is it called? Parents-in-laws the mother-in-law, mother-in-law and father-in-law. They're awesome. They're cool to fucking hang out with Ryan the guitar player. His wife sexually assaults me every time I see her. I'm not blaming her, you shouldn't arrest her. I'm just saying that that's what happens. And she does it in front of everybody and everyone has seen it. She'll come up and she grinds up on you and it's like, hey, this is my favorite band. You don't do that. I respect them too much. You don't fluff me. I fluff you, but I just can't fucking wait.

Speaker 1:

And I got to pack and I'm going to be on the road for about a week, so I got to go and I got to go finish my laundry. Is it dry? I don't know. The fucking dryers in this place fucking suck and you gotta scan it to do it. It doesn't even take quarter. I guess it's better that it doesn't take quarter. But I fucking hate the future is what I hate. I hate the future, don't you? I'm in. Oh look, I'm in it again. Try to get around. Let me try to go back to the past. Nope, I'm there again. Sorry, sorry, stay. Don't fucking piss me off, don't fucking.

Speaker 1:

This came from a story of the year show. Right here, this fucking guy, it's cursed. Yep, we had a story of the year show, the one where I dressed as cocaine Bobby and surprised them on stage. They had no idea during the people showing them around, they were showing them this. There's a bunch of trophies and people like pointed them out and the guy, I guess, who runs the club, whatever he was, like I wouldn't touch those. Those are cursed. And someone put it in my bag. When I came home, someone cursed me, someone cursed the alley my bag. When I came home, someone cursed me, someone cursedy-allied me. Are you fucking? Are you serious? Are you fucking serious? And it says third place. Can you see that? Now I'm cursed? Dude, we were talking about this the other day.

Speaker 1:

You know the curse like the grudge. It was like a curse that if you don't know what it was, it was a VHS. That basically, if you which is kind of an inception because you'd be watching it on VHS and it would be a VHS inside, but basically the VHS, someone would put it in and watch it and then they get the curse of the grudge. They get the grudge and they have a grudge about the grudge. It's so grudged up and the grudge was on VHS and that curse kept going and you would give it to someone else, but eventually they had DVDs, would give it to someone else, but eventually they had DVDs.

Speaker 1:

And I'm just wondering why or when the guy would be like does a curse transfer if I convert it to a DVD. It's just so less scary to coming through your fucking TV, coming through your flat screen TV Mounted on the wall. Because here's the thing when that thing came through she got to put her arms through and land on the ground, but most TVs now are hung on the wall, so she'd come out and fucking bust her coconut. She'd be like, ah, damn fuck, like bust her little head. And then you got to transfer it to dvd and then later there's like a link. So then you're just like starting to share a link, which then, honestly, that's when the grudge would take off, is when the link happened. Once you have a link, then you're sending everywhere people clicking on links being it's like hot girls in your area and you're like sick.

Speaker 1:

The grudge dating app where the girl is the first one who gets to jump through your phone and try to kill you alive. The girls are taking the power back on the dating apps. Now they come out and they kill you. How far are you getting close to coming over to my house and killing me? God, the sweet release of a date. No, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1:

That sounded disgusting, I really did. I meant of death. But then I thought it'd be funny to say date. But then it sounded absolutely gross. Is this thing on what the shit? Who knows who gives a flying shit? Fuck, I don't.

Speaker 1:

But man, I'll tell you about this. I'll tell you. You know what I'll tell you about? I'll tell you about Austin, because I have lived here, moved here about four months ago, and I've been here getting close to a month, and when I first moved here I didn't really know too many people I knew. My roommate met some of his friends, owen and Connor. There's other friends that I met that were already here, you know, started saying what's up too. And then, I mean, pretty quickly, there was people I just ran into that would be from Austin, they'd be in St Louis, so when we'd be at Helium we'd be hanging out. And now I'm here and dude a lot of times.

Speaker 1:

The Creek, in the cave, that's like the place to hang out. And when you go there dude, it's just been the best hang. I've just been having so much fun meeting new's fun. I don't do well if it's like everyone's competitive and looking to see what they can get from people. So it's been nice to just fucking fuck around and everyone's just hanging. I mean there's still some fucking real gross. You know snakes in the grass, but you know what? You can stay in the grass, buddy, you can stay in the artificial grass and, yeah, just been having so much fun.

Speaker 1:

You know, going on the road, living in austin might be having some more dates. I'm going on the road with some other people we will see and uh, yeah, always booking shows and if you want to see me in your city, message me. I want to come to your city. You probably have a place. Let's fucking go to that bar you like We'll do a show. Let's have a house party. If you're on hospice, we'll come over, we'll have a party. Maybe that'll bring you right back, maybe you'll piss Haas. Maybe you'll piss that Haas right off and come back to life. Do people Does that happen?

Speaker 1:

Because my grandma went into hospice and I remember being like what's, what's this? And they're like not good. It's basically like the. It's hospice. There's nothing like hospice. Hey, there ain't nothing like hospice. Hey, I've been all around the world and there ain't nothing like hospice. Hey, I've been all around the world. There ain't nothing like hospice. The hospitality hospice has a hospice plant and hospice is running it Big hospice. It's running the hospitality at the host hostess, derek Jeter's in the news. I have no idea.

Speaker 1:

We're reaching the end of the pod and I'm tired of you not following me on Patreon that I've mentioned twice. Now that's how much I want you to do it. Going to my website, buy merch, coming to see me at a live show, messaging your friends whenever you see a video of me on, that just makes you giggle. Just fucking send it to them. People always like it feels gross asking you to do this. I don't think that lawyers say when they put the big billboard up and they're like it feels gross. We spent like fifty thousand dollars a month. I think that's about how much it costs to have a billboard in about anywhere, just about anywhere in the country. It was on the road with josh blue and one time he was like I wonder how much that cost and he called and asked and I think it was like twenty thousand dollars in a small town.

Speaker 1:

So you can only guess what they do in a big town. You can try that in a small town. Be hopscotch, I would try that. Try that in a small town. I did and no one did anything. They just were like that guy playing hopscotch over there. For my life of me, I don't know how to play hopscotch. I know that there's squares and that there's numbers and that you hop in scotch on one foot and two, but I don't understand why you throw the rock. I don't understand why you bend down to get the rock or why you hop, and I don't really understand that game. That's one game I did not ever fully grasp and it shows. I think you can tell when you see a guy if he knows how to hop scotch or not. That's been the podcast.

Speaker 1:

Be safe, be good to each other, be good to yourself. Do what I do. Practice self-love. I've been kissing myself in the mirror and then videotaping it and when you see it afterwards you're like I didn't like that and that's not homophobic, that's just me imagining me kiss myself, which means I would have a twin, which would mean that'd be me kissing my brother, which would mean I would have a twin, which would mean that'd be me kissing my brother and I couple steps back. And that's pretty good, because people aim for the bullseye and it doesn't seem like your wiener's getting hit by darts. That's been the podcast. I'll see you on the road and I'll see you at the Story of the Year fucking concert. If you live in St Louis and you like emotional music, I'll see you around Bye. I'll see you around Bye. How can we go on when there's nothing to be, bro-?