Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
“Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox" is a hilarious and insightful podcast that takes you on a wild ride through the mind of comedian Bobby Jaycox. With his unique perspective as a comedian with ADHD, Bobby shares his unfiltered thoughts, stories, and experiences in a way that will leave you laughing out loud and nodding in agreement. Join Bobby and his guests as they navigate the chaos of everyday life, discussing everything from relationships and pop culture to mental health and personal growth. Get ready for a rollercoaster of laughter, relatability, and a whole lot of discombobulation. Tune in now to experience the world through the eyes of a comedian with ADHD.
Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
#65 Vampire Algebra | Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
Ever wondered how a vampire might handle algebra homework? Or how about the unexpected joys (and perils) of rural Texas breakdowns? This episode of Discombobulated is packed with hilarity and revelation, from my roommate’s exciting milestone in their love life to our upcoming Wisconsin tour dates with Erica Rhodes. Also, I'm braving the Midwest chill with little preparation, and I'm on a mission to spread joy with free stickers and some killer skull t-shirts—though, fair warning, sizes are limited for all the well-fed fans out there!
Join us as we navigate the quirks of rural living and play a game that humorously confuses "gym" with "Jim" because, let’s face it, both can be unexpectedly strenuous! There are stories of being stranded, encountering overzealous evangelists, and finding solace in bathroom breaks. We also take a light-hearted jab at the "Twilight" saga, pondering the absurdity of undead high schoolers. We’re here to share laughter over the mundane and find humor in the bizarre twists life throws our way.
From fitness dreams of a "hot boy summer" tripping over reality checks to the cannabis debate that questions the so-called freedom of adulthood, this episode leaves no stone unturned. We chat about the ups and downs of career aspirations, contemplating a shift to IT for some financial peace while humorously lamenting the half-marathon-like journey of an unfinished degree. As always, we bring you real-life insights wrapped in humor, hoping you’ll join us for an episode filled with laughter, stories, and a touch of personal growth.
Hello, welcome back. It's another episode of Discombobulated. It's another show about being dated and getting old and wearing Breathe Right strips. Every fucking day you just wake up and you can't wait to breathe For the first time since you woke up With all those boogers in your nose and throat. Boogers in your nose and throat.
Speaker 2:Pretty much a perfect song. How is it going? We're back, we're here. I fucking messed up the sound and recording twice, so this is the third. This is the third take Probably happened. I was saying goodbye to. This is the third take, probably happened. I was saying goodbye to my roommate. I'm just I was proud of him. He's going to stay with his girlfriend, probably gonna have sex for the first time in his entire life. So message Zach Butkovich and tell him congratulations, Congrats for having sex for the first time. Congrats to you for getting so. Message him. I'm happy he so. Message him I'm happy he's having some of that consensual sex. I've had it. It's good. It's some good humps. This is the opposite of what that kind of podcast is.
Speaker 2:But, I want to let you guys know I have tour dates coming up. I'm going to be on the road with Erica Rhodes. We're going to the Bend, wisconsin, for Decembercember 6th and 7th, so check out the website, get tickets to that and come out and see a show in wisconsin. I'm I walked outside and had shorts on, with some leggings that are so comfy that I don't care how I look in them, I don't give a fucking shit. I was wearing those and it's warm and we're about to go to wisconsin where okay, google what's the weather in Wisconsin this weekend, friday through next Sunday in Madison, it'll be cloudy, with highs between 26 and 39 and lows around 25.
Speaker 2:It's going to be got 30s and 20s coming at us. I got my 40s coming at me as I get older. I'm not scared, swear to God. But yeah, so it'll be cold as fuck. So I better remember to pack clothes because I've been in Texas and traveling to places. It's only warm because I'm the luckiest fucking duck you've ever met. But, yeah, if you want to come see us, come see us there and then come bring me a coat, please. And then, oh, thank you to everybody who messaged me. I sent out the sticker. I did not send them out. I'm looking at the stickers, but I did. I'm looking at the stickers and they're coming your way. I'm gonna.
Speaker 2:I ran out of stamps because I didn't know so many people would want free things. Who would have thought that you put up a merch site? And you know, maybe the coffee mugs aren't selling? Great, you know it's like should I get rid of the coffee? I don't do this for me. I don't do this for me. I don't do this for me. I do it for you, my kids, I do it for all of you who listen and then comment. I fucking turned it off after eight seconds because I can't stand listening to this guy. Well, I'm unmedicated, so get used to it. Or go listen to a podcast about something. Yeah, go do that, but I thank you. So I sent out the free stickers. Gonna send them? I was, I packed them up is what I'm fucking saying. So those will be coming out.
Speaker 2:But I also want to let you guys know I also have a couple free t-shirts or sorry, not free. I have a couple t-shirts left. Here's the ones. This is from the website. Fucking, we don't even have these on the website right now. These are fucking cool. It's a if you're listening to audio, it's a skull and says discombobulated, pretty much the coolest t-shirt you can get. I am selling those on my website or you can just message me wherever and I will send you one of those. You just got to pay the five bucks for shipping and five bucks for the t-shirts. It's a fucking steal.
Speaker 2:I said that all wrong. That's actually what I meant for these ones. Those ones are going to be 20. You know what? Fuck it. You know, if you message me and you're the first one, you can have any of these t-shirts for fucking $10. $5 for shipping fucking $5. It's a steal because here's what happened Printify fucking shipped me these shirts, and it just has a skull on it.
Speaker 2:So if you want a skull t-shirt that it looks like it's from Walmart, if you want a Walmart skull tee, message me, and the only sizes I have left, though, are small and medium. That's all I have left, because all my fans are fucking fat. I all my fans big, fucking. I love it. I love the big, big, big people. I love you so, but if you're an athletic person and listen to this podcast on a run, that's it. What kind of fucking person would do that? But I will let you know.
Speaker 2:I do have some of these t-shirts, so message me, and $10 for any of them. First ones. First come, first serve. I got some left, so message me. And then I also have some full ass price merch available on my website, but I don't own a bed yet, so I need to do that. I got to buy a bed. Bob needs a bed.
Speaker 2:People always say that they're like. You know, even on the worst night, you put your head on your pillow. Well, I don't. I do have a pillow, but I don't have a mattress. I have a photo I could share of me. It's fucking where I sleep. It's a fucking just a little pad with a candle next to it. If I posted it, people wouldn't be like that guy's starting over and following his dreams. They'd be like that guy's a cam girl. That guy's about to fucking flick his bean on the camera, which I'm not opposed to. I think that people would be opposed to that bob's being getting flicked around, no way.
Speaker 2:What is what am I gonna go to? What? I want to go to jail? No, I don't want to go to jail. In case you were wondering no, I don't want to go to jail. In case you were wondering, I don't want to go to jail, um, but yeah, so I got the t-shirts.
Speaker 2:Come see me doing shows. Uh, I did a show. I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to brag, but I did a show that was in a bunker the other day. That was nice, it was ina texas. I show up and there are people watching, uh, the grinch on one side of a drive-in and people watching the movie the santa claus, the claws on the other side got to watch a little bit of those while I smoked some pot getting ready for my set and then went inside to what was like a scary trailer that you had to like walk inside and then you, you were like, oh, I guess that there's nothing here and you have to like push on a brick wall and then you're inside and you're like, okay, that's cool, but for a second I thought I was gonna go through the fucking floorboards. That's like how we got through to the show and then.
Speaker 2:So we went inside and, uh, it was beautiful. It was like downstairs in a bunker. It would be like what rich people have in their bunkers. It'd be. It's like very nice. They got the game on, they got some comics that I felt like we were the poorest people in the room. People were like we own a hotel and I'm like, are you guys going to like try to purchase us? Is this your guys? Is like I'll take the little one and I'm like I'm not little, I'm big hearted. My heart's huge. Try putting, try weighing, try weighing that out. The human head weighs eight pounds pounds. You know what my heart weighs? It's overweight. It's overweight. My heart is the one that bought the merch the fucking, because I'm a big, fat ass heart bitch. But yeah, I got to do that show the other day, which was fucking. It was fun.
Speaker 2:I uh it was like a real place in texas, like I was out in the middle of nowhere and I was like I really hope I don't, fucking my car doesn't break down. You know here, because in missouri when you're out in the middle of nowhere you're like I'm in the middle of nowhere and it's like I don't know. It feels like unhealthy, scary. But here feels like healthy, scary, like I don't want to break down because I just don't want someone to fix my tire. And then I have to like go to his church once because he's like I'll say I'll fix your tire if you believe in jesus christ. Out there people will just be like like fucking on meth, just be like I'll change your do you? Just do you believe?
Speaker 1:I just want to talk about okay, cycle, we'll talk about jesus. Let's talk about Jesus, baby. Let's sit and talk about the Lord, everybody. Open up your hymnals and let's sing a hymn for him.
Speaker 2:Do you guys think isn't it insane how much the word Jim and Jim are the same, isn't that crazy? I can't do it because I'm on my phone, but I want to call Tatum because we have this new game where we say gym or gym to each other and you have to guess. Here I'll do it to you guys. Like right now you have to guess, just like in your car, or if you're laying down because you can't get out of bed and you're like the only thing that gets you out of bed is that like fucking, that pain of shitting, and that's the only relief you get is to fucking. When you get that, um, I thought about shitting and how good that feels. But if, um, god, shitting is so nice, just the only time of your day you're like no, just, no one can bother me. Um, I don't remember. Oh yeah, but so just, and you're just, I'm gonna say gym like a gymnasium, or I'm gonna say gym like a, and you're just, I'm going to say a gym like a gymnasium, or I'm going to say gym like a person, and you have to guess. I'm going to give you, I'm going to give you three, and then you guess for you. Okay, so this is one gym, okay. Two gym, okay. Three gym, okay. So I'm going to do it one more time for you guys, okay. So, one, a gym, okay. Two gym, okay. And then three gym, okay. So which one did you get? Okay? And if you, if you get this, you get a fucking free t-shirt, uh, after you pay the shipping and handling in the. So, um, okay, all right, a and just email me. I'm going to have to try. I'm going to have to trust you, fucking fucks, cause we can't do a call in cause. This isn't a fucking radio show. God do. I wish it was to get some listeners and to be on the air oh man arena.
Speaker 2:But a was Jim and B was Jim and C was Jim. So that will clear everything up and I should probably spell them. But A was J-I-M, two was G-Y-M and three was G-Y-M, and so if you're celebrating getting that right, you should go talk to somebody. You should definitely have a therapist, a friend, who will always answer your call, and you should have any guns in your house removed. If that got you amped up me telling you the difference between gym and gym, you should call your dad and say, hey, we should fucking figure this thing out.
Speaker 2:If you fucking got pumped that I said that you should fucking eat some protein and get some fiber inside of your diet, I'll just I'll say, I'll say all of that and I don't, I mean every single fucking bit of it. So just you know, just grow up. You know, don't get excited about that, but it is a game we're going to play every week and I will fucking shit on you for enjoying it. That's just, it's what I do and I uh, um, I don't know, it's just what I do I just looked over and saw how much laundry I have to fold and it's not a lot.
Speaker 2:But I'll tell you this people are always like things that never end taxes and fucking laundry, and it is. It does suck, but what I do it in a place that is very scary, like I do it in a place where if you drop a sock like that's no longer my sock, like if it drops on the floor you hear you hear your sock go like you hear your sock become a fajita. You hear it go. Like. I do this thing whenever I put my clothes in. I have to go inside as if I'm clearing a room for a president. I'm just like did anyone drop any ink in here? Clear. And then I put my clothes in and then I open up the dryer. I'm like did anyone leave gum in their pockets? No, okay, clear. Did everyone clean out the lint? No, no, we got lint in here. Fucking, fucking, incarcerate. That lint Fucking shouldn't be in there, shouldn't be in there while I'm trying to fucking do the do the do, do the deed.
Speaker 2:Uh, man, I, uh, I did. Uh, I think I talked about I don't remember if I talked about this but the other day I was, I was, was pretty down. I don't even want to talk about why who gives a fly and fuck. But uh, tatum had came out and surprised me and then, uh, we only got to hang out for a little bit and then we watched like the beginning of twilight.
Speaker 2:So now, because it's like her favorite movies, I was like all right, you know, I'll try to watch these, because I haven't seen them since I was like fucking a child. Okay, what? Let me rephrase that since I was a child I haven't watched those movies and, uh, I wanted, I was like watching them and I just, man, they're just so fucking corny, they're. So it's such a perfect, what are you doing? Like it's so, oh, like it's so. Oh, my God, it's so funny. Marry me, the whole movie is so funny and I can't my favorite part and I still can't remember if I talked about this, but I just think it's so funny that they're like they're sitting at like lunch and they're like that's the Cullens. Yeah, they never talk to anybody or whatever they say, and just thinking about them in class and then like giving one of the fucking vampires like a D again, he's like God.
Speaker 1:I've taken math 110 times and I fuck it's. So why?
Speaker 2:is it so hard? Like just being like, and you flunked your history test again.
Speaker 1:He's like I was there. How do I fuck that? I was in the battle and I fucking fucked it up. God damn it. This chapter's about me and I fucking forgot.
Speaker 2:Yes, that damn it. I just think that's very funny and, uh, I also think it's so funny that, like the reason so if you guys have never seen twilight, basically there's a vampire and he's in school and then, for whatever, he's just around like. It's like if you went to school with a bunch of fucking like steaks and strawberries and shit and that was cool to you, and so you go to school and then one day she walks in and you're like oh fuck I gotta eat that.
Speaker 2:I gotta put in more than one way. You're disgusting, but it's true, you got to do that. You got to you, you were like, oh, I'm in love with this girl. And then you're like I can't talk to you anymore, don't hit her truck, fucking, fucking. And then she, and then he gaslights her. She was like you, I think you just you're. No, I think your insurance probably covered that. Uh. And then she's like you're so cold. He's like I just I don't have a good blood flow, wink, wink. And uh, it's then the.
Speaker 2:But you're not allowed to like hang out with. You're not allowed to like be like a part of your group, can't be like a human if you're a vampire. And so then one day they're like hey, let's go play baseball, like, and she's like it's gonna storm and like, as a one-time vampires can fucking play baseball because they rocket these balls into, and it's like it's loud as thunder apparently. And so they're playing baseball and it's like so fast, it's like as if you're like playing a simulation of a game on one of those fucking you. You just like simulate the game. It's like you won. You're like well, that was a little too fast, but they're playing baseball and these other vampires here, and they come up to like hey, can we play? And they're like he goes put your hair down and she's like that's not going to fucking help my smell. And so she does that, and then literally he just feels so basic.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm so sorry we played baseball, God why?
Speaker 2:do I love baseball so much? Why do I love the Cardinals? And then that's what ensues. And then he tries to make her safe and that's what happens in New Moon that's where I'm at now is he has to go away and she keeps trying to fucking like she just keeps trying to take like ketamine and fucking just trying to kill her. So just like jumping into oncoming traffic, fucking just trying to kill her. So just like good, jumping into oncoming traffic, seeing if that'll bring her boyfriend back. And everyone's just like what are you, what are you doing? Loca? And they, she does that. And then she's like well, I guess I'll hang out this other boy.
Speaker 1:And then she's like he's being so weird too and then she's like everything is oh my god, he's a werewolf, is everything just a fucking scary, scary world.
Speaker 2:And then, uh, at the end, she like fucking thinks, she like finds out because of like, how, like? Everyone's like so wrong, it's so romeo and juliet. But she jumps off a cliff and this vampire thinks that she's like, well, she killed herself, but she didn't. And then so he's gonna kill himself. And the vampires are like no, you can't kill yourself. He's like, you know, kill myself myself. And so he goes outside. And then this chick, this little girl's like look, and then uh, but they don't see it quick enough, and she like pushes him back into the room. She's like you gotta back up. He's like, bella, I'm dead and you're here.
Speaker 2:She's like no, you're gone back up, go, go go and so he backs up and then they almost get in trouble by the vittori, the v's, these fucking, these fucking slow talking, pale-faced bitches they're all just because they've been around forever. Every like why aren't vampires? Why did the vampires talk slowly? You would think they would be like okay, let's. Yes, I know where this is going. Okay, yeah, you think like they feel like they would be the most adhd talking over you, but instead they're like uh she has.
Speaker 1:It's like just fucking say she has to become a vampire. Like just say it and they're just like vampire.
Speaker 2:It's like just fucking say she has to become a vampire. Like just say it, and they're just like. It just feels like you're talking to the sloth from that fucking Zootopia movie or whatever. They're just like it's so stupid. And you got Dakota Fanning in there and she's just like fucking makes everyone be like God damn it.
Speaker 2:But yeah, that's my rundown of so far watching the twilight movies and I, uh, I told her I was like we should watch those on the road and we'll fucking do like commentary over them. Because they are just, they are so bad like they're so good because they're bad my absolute favorite part and we can't stop laughing because I like to do the cross-eyed. I like to do this, but she does it so good whenever she's like getting, when the venom is taking over, she's laying down, she's like, and I could not stop laughing. She's like, and she's like she's dying, she's fucking, it's so funny. If you've never seen it, if you've never seen twilight, you should watch that. It's fucking hilarious. I made my buddy zach buy it because I was on his plan. I'm like he can fucking buy the first twilight. I'll buy the second twilight, but the first one's on.
Speaker 2:That's definitely on him the first one's definitely on you and dude, if you had to choose between being a werewolf and a vampire, which isn't how the world works, I fucking know. But like being a werewolf, obviously way cooler, obviously way cool, like even she's like it'll be him. I'm like, okay, or you could live a life and then get old and die, but instead you want to do this. Oh my god, imagine when you're wrong. Oh my god, just imagine being wrong about vampire love and just being like, but it's fucking with fangs, fucking. You know, god, that would be. So just like, rip my head off and fucking kill me if she starts talking again. Oh my god, rip me up, rip my head off and burn my limbs from piece to piece if she fucking doesn't stop talking.
Speaker 1:I can't stand this witch, and I know she's not a witch. Do those show up soon.
Speaker 2:Are there witches in this one? I don't think so. I think the vampire's a little witchy. I think that's what's going on, and uh, but yeah, being a werewolf seems so much cooler, cause it like being a vampire is just like being a. It's just a. You're just a drunk, like literally just all day.
Speaker 1:You're just like fuck, I could go for a body.
Speaker 2:Oh, I could slurp down a body, but being a werewolf you're just like you fucking.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm cool, just don't fucking piss me off. You're like the Hulk of like getting mad, but like a vampire just like, and then if you're like a vegan vampire, you're like I can't eat that. No, no, no, no, no, I couldn't.
Speaker 2:And then you eat and like that's the only thing you do is just like ah, I felt so good. And then you're just like I could go for some more again. But like a werewolf, you're just done and you're just like that was loca, loca, loca.
Speaker 2:That's just crazy being a big big dog God I would be that I'm trying to think what would be even better than being a werewolf. Vampire sucks, you never sleep. I'll say this like being a vampire seems like cool for like the first three days, but then, once, like you know, once you know, once you're just up and you're just like man at night, they just play, rerun like, and then you know you've listened to everything. You just like wake up and then like, so what are the coffins for? If you're awake all time? Is that just like pretend sleep, like how you do? If you're like on cocaine, when you just close your eyes and you're like, do I look like I'm sleeping? Like it's like that? Is it like that? Because that fucking absolutely sucks and it seems way cooler to be like one of those like you know, dog, and you just get to go to sleep.
Speaker 2:You do a couple circles fucking lay down, yeah, a couple circles fucking lay down, yeah. And are there any fat like? Does any like all the vampires who like really like killing like they should be? They should be less in shape, like shouldn't they shouldn't be, they'd be a little fatter. Imagine like a vampire eats a little too much and does like one of those burps and like kind of throws up and like blood comes out. They're like did you just like throw up in your mouth? Like no, no, stop looking at that guy, you don't need another guy, I'm not gonna eat, I'm not eating another guy. Like dude, you do not need to eat another guy. You start like bite into him.
Speaker 1:you're like I did not need a guy he's like oh, I gotta become a vampire.
Speaker 2:You're like, yeah, I'm, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:I'm so fucking sorry, my guy. Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me.
Speaker 2:What else is new in the news? Nothing. I got a couple tour dates this weekend. I'm going to be on the road and then I come home and I got a couple shows in Austin weekend. I'm gonna be on the road and then I come home and I got a couple shows in austin and that's pretty much it. That's pretty much the gist of that, of that. And then I'm working out and I'm gonna get so in shape. I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna tai chi it up. I'm gonna be the hottest guy, hot boy, summer. You just gotta start it now.
Speaker 2:And I tell you what, as soon as I started working out, I felt good. And I'm on like day three or four and I'm doing the thing where I'm like I could just fucking be depressed. It is a little. Yeah, being depressed sucks, but so do pushups. Yeah, having a foggy mind is bad, but so is doing fucking burpees in a public setting. Yeah, so is stretching your quads in public. I fucking suck you just stretching your quads. Fucking. Having a breathe right strip on, just like you know.
Speaker 2:Walking and I dude this I'll say this this fucking absolutely sucks when I'm walking. If you're one of those runners that when you come around someone if it takes you the entire, a couple commercials to like I'm walking at a pace and you're doing. You decided to do the motion but you still go around me like this. You're like like so long that when you pass me we could have like a slight relationship. Just keep walking, buddy, and I know you're getting a slight let, but maybe do a power walk, do that fucking jackass walk or whatever, and maybe that's what I'm about to do, because I know I'm never going to be one of those running guys Like.
Speaker 2:I saw this one guy like run today and I mean he just he looked like he was sponsored by fucking dude. This guy looked like he. He's like I wish girls would like get to know who I am and then they do and they're just like there's no one there and he's like you're, you're right. But I saw this guy and he was so just full of abs, just he looks like he eats other people's abs and he was fucking full stride running and I was. I'm at the age now where I was just like well, that won't be me. I might become a bike guy, you know, I can maybe become a bike guy, but God damn, just those like fucking guys just running and you could just tell they're running away from someone at their apartment. That's like please fuck me again. He's like I can't just with the fucking.
Speaker 1:It's all day with the. Fucking me again. Fuck me again. Show me your fucking body again.
Speaker 2:You know that life sounds like it sucks. Honestly, that's why I don't have abs. It sounds awful, just fucking, just, oh my God. But also, and I will say, the guy was tall and ripped. When you're like me, when you're short and ripped, people are just like if anything, they're just like oh you really did, you really pushed up. Today you're short and ripped, people are just like if anything, they're just like oh you really did, you really pushed up today. You want to push up pop.
Speaker 1:You want one of those?
Speaker 2:You little fucking fuck.
Speaker 1:You little tiny little shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I get ripped. I'm just like one of those short guys and I just like that's. You know, I just wear a fucking one of those Nike hats that looks like it was made by not the brand. I just have one of those fucking fishing hats on, I have abs and I have the exact same lifestyle of fucking.
Speaker 1:You know what, if I think about it, I bet my boy Zach's fucking right now. One, two, three.
Speaker 2:He's done. Hey, if I know my roommate, he's done fucking right about Don't even have to look at my watch Because he's done. And he's asking if we can re-watch the Vikings game. I'm sure, god, to be a guy. I keep meeting guys that I'll be like they'll be talking about music and then they'll be like, oh, the game. And I'm like why?
Speaker 1:what the fucking how there are so many games there's always a game.
Speaker 2:You could just watch a game. Why do we care? And maybe maybe one day I'll get that board too, but I'm definitely so poor now that thinking about Zach goes hey, do you want to go watch the Vikings game today? I was like I would rather get fucked by a Viking, bobby. Is it all about sex with you today? I don't know, it's just funny. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe that is what the podcast is and if you want something else, look down here and it's got related videos and it'll be relate. It's. They're not related to me. It'll be way more successful comedians or another low life like me that you get. You put it on and you're like how the fuck did this get in my algorithm? I'm listening to a guy hey, what's up? This is episode 66. And it's like I don't get. Why would I fucking?
Speaker 1:I don't care about you I can't hit next quick enough.
Speaker 2:I can't find my fucking Roku remote. I had a guy one time tell me pretty funny it doesn't need to be a full hour and I agree. That's why we do about 30 minutes. Now it's too long for me to lose my mind and to not be smoking pot. You know, god, I love it. I love pot.
Speaker 2:Isn't it crazy that I, just as an I as an adult I know I'm not that this isn't an original thought, but we were talking about this last night everyone's like, yeah, there's so many problems with it, but I'm like it is weird that like an adult still isn't legally everywhere in america, the freest country ever, if you smoke pot, people are like you can't do that. You're like I like I think I should be able to eat all of these boxes behind me if I want. And people can be like that's bad for you. And I'm like, yes, but as long as I'm not hurting anybody else. And I know that's, I know people, I know there's so many ramifications of saying that I just I'm just saying cause we don't live in a world where we like train people well enough to be adults, so you can't do it, but I just think that it's like if you want to fucking, you want to.
Speaker 2:You want to eat kratom, fucking, eat kratom. If you want to fucking snort, kratom, snort. If that. Whatever you want, and don't do it, but if you that's what you want you, I think that that should be allotted to you. And then I also think we should live in a world where we're like yeah, you suck when you're on Kratom and hanging out like that sucks, because I'm also an adult and I like to tell people to fuck off now, not like in a way where that's the only thing I do. Just if it feels like it's warranted, get fucking fucked, buddy, get fricking, get fricking, fricking. If it feels like it's warranted, get fucking fucked, buddy, get freaking, get freaking, freaking. Sucked, fucked, cucked and shucked.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and run amok and buy my merch.
Speaker 2:Watch my special Check out my Nateland Presents. Made and sponsored by Nate Bargatze. He's hosted Saturday Night Live. They know what they're doing over there. I also have been on Hulu.
Speaker 2:You can't you watch it if you want? I haven't, even I won't. So there's that's how. I just don't want to watch it.
Speaker 2:Oh, this is me, bobby. Being racist and sexist on camera Is like that. No, it was called acting. Then why were you so fucking good at it, bobby? I what cut to commercial? That's the whole pod.
Speaker 2:That's what we did today. We had some fun, we had some laughs, we had some riffs, we had some rafts, we had some cucks, we talked about fucks. But yeah, buy a t-shirt. I got a couple left.
Speaker 2:I have these fucking t-shirts left and I want to get rid of them. So fucking, please, for the fucking love of God, let's get rid of these, and I never want to see them again. And then I'm going to get a job in IT so that I can own a bed, otherwise I will fucking start. Do not make me start a GoFundMe. Do not make me. Hey guys, don't make me write three paragraphs and have fucking chat GPT. Rewrite them with saying make friendlier. Do not make me use Gemini to write, to fucking reorganize my fucking thoughts so that I can fucking sleep without waking up and wanting to fucking drink the fucking ladybird lake. That's what I would like. So just, let's, just let's do that for each other, Um, and I'll see you. I'll see you when I see you again. Go like all my clips and send them to your friends, because this is all I have.
Speaker 2:I didn't finish college. I have a degree, an associate. That's like giving someone a half marathon. Fucking participation trophy. People are like it counts, but we're looking for the ones or we're doing the marathon. That's it, that's the pod. See you later. Bye, oh god, it's just how it be sometimes right.