Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
“Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox" is a hilarious and insightful podcast that takes you on a wild ride through the mind of comedian Bobby Jaycox. With his unique perspective as a comedian with ADHD, Bobby shares his unfiltered thoughts, stories, and experiences in a way that will leave you laughing out loud and nodding in agreement. Join Bobby and his guests as they navigate the chaos of everyday life, discussing everything from relationships and pop culture to mental health and personal growth. Get ready for a rollercoaster of laughter, relatability, and a whole lot of discombobulation. Tune in now to experience the world through the eyes of a comedian with ADHD.
Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
#75 Late Night Diabetes | Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
What happens when you mix a comedy tour, a laid-back diabetic roommate, and the chaos of late-night gaming? You get a whirlwind adventure that promises laughs and some unexpected life lessons. Join me, Bobby J Cox, as I hit the road with my pal Cactus Tate, navigating cities from Miami to Sacramento. Along the way, I grapple with the joys and challenges of touring, quitting nicotine, and the art of meal prepping. My trusty companion Zach adds his own spice to this journey with his unique approach to managing diabetes, resulting in some truly hilarious predicaments—like the time we ended up in a surreal late-night emergency involving Madden and mysterious shouts of doom.
Imagine being jolted awake by your roommate's cries of impending doom, only to discover the real emergency might just be the gaming console. Listen as I share the wild tale of a supposed diabetic crisis that left me ready to take on imaginary intruders, all while entangled in the confusion of learning Madden's controls. Zach's stubbornness in the face of a real medical emergency makes for a comedic yet tense tale, filled with cockroach conspiracies and hospital refusals. It's a rollercoaster of emotions that highlights the unpredictability of life when health scares collide with sleep-deprived imaginations.
But it’s not all chaos and cockroach capers. I also reflect on the beauty and madness of pursuing a comedy career, from watching the SNL 50th anniversary special to the joy of performing at iconic comedy clubs. There's a shared camaraderie in this world, whether it's spotting old friends like John Lovitz and Nate Bargatze or appreciating the humor of a New Zealand comic. As the tour approaches, I ponder the struggles of job satisfaction and the unique path that led me here—from firefighting to the comedy stage. Dive into this episode for a hearty mix of humor, heartfelt moments, and a reminder that life’s chaos can be the best punchline.
I am going on tour with Cactus Tate. We are going to be in Miami on February 23rd. We are going to be in Alpharetta, georgia, on February 26th. February 27th that's Raleigh, north Carolina, and then in March we are in Houston. On March 2nd and then on March 14th and 15th we will be in Albuquerque, new Mexico. Then on March 26th we're in San Francisco, california. Why isn't there another one? March 27th we are in Sacramento, california. June 6th and 7th I will be headlining at the Velveeta Room in Austin, texas. Come out, check out a show. Everything is available at bobbyjcoxcom. Let's get into the episode. Another swipe that didn't happen.
Speaker 1:Hey, welcome back. Hello, Welcome to Discombobulated. I am the guy you're listening to. It's Bobby J Cox. How are ya? I'm fucking good. I am good because I'm about to go back on tour, which I'm excited about. Back on tour which, uh, I'm excited about.
Speaker 1:I haven't been on the road in a couple months and I have found out cause. A lot of people complain about tour and I, uh, have never been like very consistently and the times that I am on the road very consistently. I love it. And I'm going on the road with Cactus Tate Tate, my dude.
Speaker 1:We're going on the road and she is scared to fly because of how many airplanes are being flown by the imagination of children, just Like you're. Just like being flown by the imagination of children, just like you're. Just like those two planes collided. You're like, oh okay. You're like, hmm, that's crazy, cause it's like there's you guys are supposed to be. I have no idea why it's happening, but she wants to drive and I don't mind. I don't mind driving Once you're. You will pull your back out if you don't try to stay in shape, which I guess I gotta. But I quit smoking the vaporizer with nicotine in it. Yeah, I've been eating healthier. Yeah, I've been meal prepping and sometimes forgetting the eggs out all night and then being like oh man, now all your hard boiled eggs are bad.
Speaker 1:Or, as my roommate will say, test it out, it's probably fine.
Speaker 1:You know, If I remember, I'll talk about my roommate later because he scared the shit out of me, you know. No, no, it's my podcast. I love this guy to death. He's my roommate, his name is Zach, and Zach has diabetes.
Speaker 1:And he is not the only person that I have tried to do this with, where I was like, hey, since we're going to be hanging out so much, is there anything I could know about your diabetes? Or, you know, because I was like I used to be an EMT, but it's been a long time. I was like, you know, there's two different types, you know, and he's the. He's the type that does, uh, I guess the kind that doesn't care about it, cause he'll forget it at home. He has left and I go, hey, is this your backup pouch for your insulin? And he goes, nope, I only have one. And I did forget it at home. And he was like, should I stay out or not? And I'm like you should probably come get the thing that saves your life.
Speaker 1:And he has been so nonchalant about it. I've been very, very I'm a proactive guy. I don't know if I don't think I'm type A, I don't know. I don't feel like there's certain things that you'll hear You'd be like that fits me perfectly. And then I'm like I don't know about that, but where I can try to like, like I'm not like tomorrow we have to schedule out every hour of the day, you know. But I am like hey, if there's, should we chat about that? And he was like no, we're good, he's like I'm fine with it.
Speaker 1:And I was like okay, okay, so we have been living this way and a couple months ago we were all hanging out and he started eating Sour kids and some like chips, and then he just like he stopped the entire room. He's like how many did I just eat? And we were like what he goes, how many of these did I just eat? And we were like we're all hanging out, I'll be honest, I don't even count when I eat food. I'll be honest, I don't even count when I eat food. So I'm definitely not watching my friend and being like yeah, no for sure, dude, it's good talking to you and my friend out of the corner of his eye. I'm like two Sour Patch Kids, first they're sour, then they're sweet. Six, he has a clump, I'll just guesstimate Seven Added to the, and we're like we don't know. And then so he starts freaking out and he has like take a certain amount of insulin. And then he's like looking through, like rifling through our buddy's cabinets and just looking for shit. He's like you don't have a lot of food here. He's like I don't need it, god dude.
Speaker 1:And so, yeah, so I was like I've been, I've asked him and he's not the only person that I've tried to help with, like I was dating this chick for a little bit and she was like, hey, just so you know, I'm bipolar and I'm on medication and I go thank you for letting me know that. Is there anything else I should know, like in case, like there's like some signs or like maybe you're off Cause. I was like I'm not very used to this. She is there anything I can? And she was like not at all.
Speaker 1:And then she proceeded to lose her wine one night and I'm not kidding, she grabbed like another person and I was like we got to leave. You can't grab people. And then I was like kind of responsible for her, so I felt bad. And then we got back and I was like I don't think, like you know, I was just like I don't think this is going to work out and it, you know, and I was just like you're fun, but I don't, you can't be grabbing other people. And then she had said she's like oh, I just changed my medication, by the way. And I was like I thought we were what.
Speaker 1:And then she'd like tossed a bunch on the floor and I was like what, you ain't kidding you are. So I'm just I, I'm trying to help, I can't. You know like I'm just I, I'm trying to help, I can't. You know. Like I've tried. I've told people before like there's times where it's like people think, because I'm so like high strung or whatever, that like or whatever. But like there are times where I'm like I'll kind of go manic or whatever and I'll be like I kind of need a moment to myself or I'll talk to someone after, like I need to like walk away for a second or whatever. But you try to talk about those you know.
Speaker 1:And so zach had already freaked out once and then the other night we were just hanging out and we played. What game do we play? I think we played nba or we've been playing a lot of like sports games and I'm kind I'm getting better at madden. I've always been fucking bad because everyone I played is awesome, but zach doesn't even know the buttons. Like he kept telling me. But I go, dude, it's literally not working. He goes oh, dude, it's not R1, I think it's L1. I'm like awesome to know. I'm like asking chat GPT. I'm like chat, give me the fucking important buttons on the fucking game.
Speaker 1:Uh, so, yeah, so I've like I was just like trying to help and so we're playing like games. And then we're both like, alright, we're getting tired, we gotta go to bed. And I go to sleep and I'm like at that like I'm at that like teeter totter, where, like I put on I think I was watching like Severance or something, so it's like I have that going on. And then, like I'm going to sleep and it's like that shows. So it's like I'm it's wild dude, it's such a wild mystery, and you're like what's going on, so that right before you go to sleep, your brain's like what and I go to sleep and then I and like I don't know, I can't tell if I was more sleeping or more awake or whatever.
Speaker 1:I'm like in that weird fucking realm, you know that sick ass world we live in, and here's what happened All of a sudden I hear like in my dream, I hear like screaming for me, like far away, and I don't really remember what I was like dreaming about, I just remember hearing this and I remember hearing like Bobby hearing like bobby, I'm dying, I'm fucking dying.
Speaker 1:I was like what, what, and I wake up and dude, how he was yelling and hearing. I don't remember if roscoe was bark, I can't remember, but I remember like being confused and I was like, am I about to go out here and fist fight guys with a boner? Because I will. I do still wake up with boners and I'm not. I guess I am bragging, but I don't know what to tell you. I still wake, I still I'm lucky, I'm lucky guy. So I'm like running into the other room and I'm like, oh, my god, dude, I'm like, oh, I'm like, please, for the love of god, I don't want to, like, I don't want to be fighting and since I was in a dream state, hopefully I'm like fighting like Power Rangers.
Speaker 1:So I'm like action boy now like it's awesome and I get to like and like. I kind of like thinking I'm like whoa, my dick's hard and I can like swing it, but but I'm like you got to get really close to me, buddy, so I don't know. But I wake up and I, I opened the door and I swear to God, I was like I'm ready, I think I'm going to fight. I guess I thought someone came in and then Zach is standing there and he's there's no one in there and he's just like screaming. He goes, I'm dying. I'm like what.
Speaker 1:I thought he's having like a Vietnam flashback or something. I'm like what are you, what, what? And I'm like what he goes, I'm dying, I'm dying. I'm like you're fine, what, what dude? I? I I've never wished we had a ring cam in the kitchen.
Speaker 1:More I'm I want, I would kill to know what was going on. And I was like what, what? He's like my diabetes. He's like I don't, I'm, I'm low and I'm like and we literally live so close to an emergency room and so I'm like let's go. And he goes. I don't want to go. And I'm like and this is the part where, like, I feel like everyone feels different.
Speaker 1:I know there's like people are, like guys are stubborn, and I'm like, yeah, but like if you're going to suggest not go to the hospital, you need to look and act like a person who isn't doesn't want to go. You need to look and act like a person who doesn't want to go. You know, Like if you have a bone sticking out of your arm and you're like guys, I don't want to go, or like I was like can we get an Uber? And they were like man, he's pretty coherent. I'm like you know I'm good in emergency situations for the most part Not everyone's perfect, but this one I freaked out because it was fucking like three or four am. It was three am. I must be sleeping baby.
Speaker 2:He said I'm low, I'm low on insulin or I need it.
Speaker 1:I don't. I was trying to figure it out. I haven't fucking read the book on that in a while. You know, dude, oh, did my fucking? Did this thing go? Just go out, please tell me. Oh no, it was just my headphones. I can't ever tell. That's what I think is going on. I can't. Okay, cool, that's good to know. I thought that, my fucking my, why would you care about that? Anyway? Yeah, so I thought he was dead. I thought my roommate was dead. I thought my roommate was dead. I thought my roommate was dead and dying, and I'm like let's go to the hospital. And he's like no. So then I was like what do you want to do? Cause I don't know.
Speaker 1:And then he starts like yelling at me fast acting insulin and then he goes. I can't remember if I took it. And then he goes. I thought it said error and he just like he didn't make sense. And I knew I'm like I got my shoes on, I had everything.
Speaker 1:And I'm like, okay, he's a, he's really really I could throw him over my shoulder, we'll get in the car, we'll drive to the emergency room. And he's like I don't want to go. And so I just sat down and me and his dog just kept giving him those eyebrows like whatever and literally goes. He was like such a fucking dude about it. He goes, you can just go back to bed, dude, I don't want to bother you. And I'm like, yeah, okay, I'll go back to bed. Good night, you might die Good night. He even said at one point he goes, I can't do this anymore. He goes because we were like kind of staying up and I was like let's go to the hospital. He goes, I don't want to.
Speaker 1:I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, you're right, let's die in this apartment. I'm gonna let, but just so you know the cockroaches that you've let live here, I'm gonna let them eat you. You're gonna get eaten. Buy all the cockroaches. I swear to fucking God. And I'm going to learn the difference, because they keep asking me and they call they go. Are they German cockroaches? Are they? I didn't and I'm like the fact that you think I know the difference is disgusting. So I'm going to tell you, zach, if you die in the apartment, the cockroaches will eat you.
Speaker 2:The cockroach men will eat you. The cockman will eat you. I will let the cockroaches eat your body.
Speaker 1:Because I started to get pissed. I'm like so okay, well, what are we going to do? And then he's like you can go back to bed. I'm like no, and then he goes well, I got to work in the morning, I can't be tired tomorrow. And I go yeah, you don't want to be tired before you pass away to the next life. You don't want to get too sleepy before you go to work and then pass away. Just the mind of people fucking bother me so much sometimes. I'm not saying I'm better than anybody. I didn't say I'm better than that, that I would like explain my insulin. I'd also have a backup one if I was known to be forgetful and, like I said, like I fuck up so many things. It's not like I might not drink water, but my body will like shake and then be like fine, you'll get sick, but I won't go, I die oh, no, I'm dead.
Speaker 2:it's just not gonna happen. Where the fuck is my coffee? No, no, it's in the other room. Hold on.
Speaker 1:I think I can get it fast. I just don't want to edit today because I got so much shit to do. Okay, so this episode was brought to you by Silence and this episode was brought to you by silence. And now we are back. How was that silence? Oh, you got to shut the fucking door. Got to shut the fucking door, bob. You got to shut the door. You got to shut the door, bob. You got to shut the fucking door. Oh, my God, yeah. So anyway, long story short. My roommate almost died and I wanted to save his life and he couldn't have cared less. And then the next day I saw his girlfriend and we were. I was like did you hear about this? She's like, yes, she's like I wondered why you didn't call me. And I'm like there's a lot of hey you don't have to be upset.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of things we were all wondering about this guy. So and then he goes why it's not like it's ever happened before? And I go it did happen before. It happened over what's his name? He's like yeah, you're right. So, but, like I said, none of us are perfect. But my roommate almost died the other day. So you know, you live, you learn you live, you learn, you learn god damn do I love coffee. I'm glad you had that silence break.
Speaker 1:I don't know how long, I'll decide to make it in editing. I don't know when I even come back in. I'm glad that I had to do that and I was like I don't like editing. And then you said it out loud. Well, guess what you? You said it, you spoke it into. You spoke it into the world. But you know what else I've spoken into the world. But you know what else I've spoken into the world, doing stand-up and I've done it.
Speaker 1:And then I don't know if you watched the SNL 50th anniversary, but it was very cool. While I was watching I was like I know a lot of those people. I was like I've opened for that guy, I've opened for that guy, I know that person, I know them. And then there was people who it was just it was awesome, like I just opened for John Lovitz and he's just sitting in the audience. I like I was like holy shit, you see, nate Bargatze. I'm like I fucking worked with that guy. It's awesome. Colin Joth hosted for that guy and I was I try, it was just kind of crazy. And then it was like it was one of those times where you do realize how lucky you are, because comedy is a very, it is a smaller world and I'm very, very, very happy to be a part of it. And I know people who are currently on the cast of snl, which is great like.
Speaker 1:The other day I got a video it's probably from like fucking like eight years ago, marcelo Hernandez. We were hanging out in Cleveland. I think I might've gotten him his first guest spot. I can't remember how that all panned out, but Carly said she was like no, yeah, he did a guest spot and I was like this guy's hilarious. We were just hanging out and he was fucking prank, calling people for pizza Fucking it rules. We had a great time, we were having an awesome time. People for pizza Fucking it ruled. We had a great time, we were having an awesome time.
Speaker 1:Amir Joaquim, amir Joaquim, snl guy Fucking, killing it. Funny, sweet dude, I'm lucky. You know I'm not very competitive, so it's easy for me to be like, just like happy for people. But I feel like sometimes, just internally, you'll be like I'm not. You're like I always want to be doing better, but then you like look around and you're like this is pretty sick. You know pretty sick world we live in.
Speaker 1:And then so, yeah, I watched that there was a comic online that was like I just cried listening to Adam Sandler's song. So I listened to it twice in a row. It was so good and I definitely teared up, because if you're a comic, you know I mean musicians. It's like every week there's brand new music from everybody and comedy is like that. But it's a little different and it's nice whenever you get to see something from fucking Adam Sandler you haven't seen in you know forever, and you get to see him do a song and you're like there he is. There's that fucking special guy we all love.
Speaker 1:So fun time, lucky dude. Lucky dude about to go on tour, can't wait to go on tour. My roommate just almost died. I hope he's gonna be okay because I will not be here. He's like. He was like, if I almost go out, he's like you put this in my nose and plunge it and I was like, oh my God, but so much better If I wasn't. My heart wasn't going to. I almost threw up. You know what I mean. It's like that when you just wake up.
Speaker 1:I was like I'm going to throw up in my own, I'm going to throw up in my own mouth and apartment and apartment. And then I got to, uh, I went to cap city last night and I went just to watch. I want to go see restart being fuck. That guy is so funny, dude, that New Zealand accent Damn, that's cool. He said a couple lines. I'm not going to get, I'm not giving out his act, but I'm just saying like there was just things he would say that it's just you're just like. There's no American that could make that perfectly that funny, so fucking good Like.
Speaker 1:He said something more like I love when I watch a comic, cause it's like I, we, it's enjoyable, like I don't. There are comics that will watch and just be like, but it's like I, I'm lucky to be there. I'm like I've seen this guy in so many movies, I've grown up with this fucking guy, you know. And then you get to watch him do work on stuff and when he's like, I laughed so hard that, like I got self-conscious about my laugh. That's the thing, cause I feel like it's like we're in clubs. Enough, eventually you're like haha, yeah, but whenever you're like, you get like that kind of like throw up, laugh, like sorry to the people that don't like that sound. I have a friend, melissa, who fucking hates that sound and I'm sorry I mean I don't know anybody who like loves that sound like they hear that and they're like, oh, is someone throwing?
Speaker 2:up. You gotta call me if you're gonna. You promised you were gonna call me if you fucking blew chunks that's that.
Speaker 1:But what else? What else is new? What have I been dude? I've been mostly watching this show, severance, because I've been very I've just been busy and it's not important. I've just been busy, you know. So then the other day I decided to watch a little bit of this new show called Severance and fuck if that show doesn't rule.
Speaker 1:Everyone was right, it rules and I won't. I won't give, I don't, I'm not going to give too much away and it would even. It's like, even if I tried to ruin it for you, it would be kind of you'd be, you would still watch it and be like I'm okay. I mean, I'm still interested Cause it's that interesting. It's that interesting, but no spoilers. It's just kind of like um, I wouldn't say it's like the storyline of the truman show, but it's truman show, esque, and then like very much like weirder, like like fucking 26 times weirder. So it'll be cool, it'll be cool for you to watch. They have it's. Uh god, it's such a cool show and if you're okay here I'll actually give.
Speaker 1:I'll be a guy who's like I'll give you a synopsis of, like the first season, which is so good. Here's a synopsis of the first season with no spoilers and it'll still be good. The show kind of opens up and it's like who are you? So it's like you have like that whole thing. And then green, a lot of green, green and white as far as the eye can see, confusing office.
Speaker 2:Who are you?
Speaker 1:Art For Christopher Walken. I got to get back to Walken. Baby goats, baby goats, that's as good. That's as good as you're gonna get without ruining the show. But other shows you couldn't do that with game of thrones. It's like, as soon as I say dragons, you're like mother drag, you know. So it's such a good show, dude, it's such a good show.
Speaker 2:And then, oh, dude I started watching the mr beast Beast. Thing. Oh my.
Speaker 1:God, I don't know who I've become, but I've always been one of those guys that when I watched Survivor when I was a kid, when I was way more religious, I was like you are not playing this game honestly and it's like, yeah, it's a game.
Speaker 1:And then I was watching the Mr Beast thing and at one point they give these people an out and they can't win five million. But they could win a million by going like that on a button and I watched all of them not do it and I realized how fucking much I would have hit that fucking button, because most here's why and I know people are like that's so crazy Most shows I grew up with it's like what do you get If you win Wheel of Fortune? What do you get? $618? You guess like a hard puzzles. You're very, you're well read, you got to know the rules of the game which gets I'd like to solve the puzzle. I'd like to buy vowels. You have to learn like a. You have to hold, learn a whole new economy of words. And then on other shows it's like you know, they're like travel around the world and they like for $620,000.
Speaker 1:And then I grew up it's like who wants to be a millionaire? That was like so that was like me, and it was so hard to get to that million dollar question, you know. So I grew up with that and a lot of people on the show were like my age or older for sure, and to watch them say no to a million for a. Still at the time it's like a 1 out of 200 chance.
Speaker 1:S my D and B. Dude, are you? I would have fucking, I would have jumped and sat on that, but are you crazy? Like I didn't want to take the opportunity away from it because you basically like you're, you like delete a bunch of people by doing this and they're like I would have never done that. I'm like well, okay, but I will say this I've also been in a casino and been up and been like I'm gonna keep, I'm gonna keep on going. So I know that that like addictive part of your brain, I guess, is like that's probably, that's probably like well, it's winning on these people, you know. But I mean for a minute and they're like for a million dollars.
Speaker 1:Everyone's like nope, I still want to maybe get five million all right, I'm like I would have got on deal or no deal. This is this is my impression of me on deal or no deal. This is how much I need. I impression of me on deal or no deal. This is how much I need. I want and need money, and it's a different time in my life. Here's this way. This is me on deal or no deal.
Speaker 1:Pick your case and I pick my case and they're like all right, delete some cases. And they like open it up. And then the banker calls me and I go sold and they he's offering you eight grand. And I go and I start crying, I go, so he goes. I think it's like that scene in Austin Powers. He's like I suggest you keep going. I'm like, no, he goes, okay, and you're going to pay taxes on 8,000. So you're going to get even less, less and I go. Anything over a grand is insane. So the fact that people were like I just, I just didn't want to take away a million dollars, I'm like that's crazy because I fucking would have, and I didn't know that about myself.
Speaker 1:But I will say it's like I am. I do think I'm there. It's like I want to help people and anytime I can, and I didn't know that about myself. But I will say it's like I do think I'm, it's like I want to help people and anytime I can like help others. But I am at the age now where you see a game and you're like it's a game, we signed up for the game and everyone's cutthroat at different times and it comes out and people are nice and it's like very much. It's a very much a, it's a schism, a word of like, how it is that the word for like how people work too. It's like people are nice when they can be and not when they don't like. That's what you gotta. You gotta embrace that you can't always be good and nice. You gotta know that to be the knowledge of knowing when to do that and yeah, if someone drops that, I hey I got you.
Speaker 1:But if it's like, do I get a million? Because that's what's crazy about them saying no to it, is that then, if you win five million, if it's like at the end the question is, it's like I haven't seen the end of the show and you probably have, but if at the end of the show they're like you can either take it or give it away, it's like I bet I wouldn't give it away. And so it's like why, when you got the chance for a million fucking dollars, is a million not that much? I think people I've heard people say actually a million's not that much anymore.
Speaker 2:I go then give me some half of it, If it's not that, if it's not too much to ask can I have a little bit of that million dollars, but I do like that at no point.
Speaker 1:You can't be like I'll give you half if you let me keep going Like I like that. I bet that was like part of the rules is you can't like barter for like time on the show and like continually keep going. You know, that's just what I think, but that's a cool ass show and that's how you can tell I've been not on the road and just working on stuff. Is that I'm just watching tv shows I got. I have been so depressed, I have been so fucking just being because I want this is what's weird about stand-up comedy is it's the only job where, even when people who have been on SNL are like, dude, you're awesome. And then managers will be like, dude, you're great. And then they're like we'll even keep having you back here and you keep doing it.
Speaker 1:It's not like if you were a waiter or a waitress and you go to work and every week you're like can I please work here this weekend? And they're like no, you're like, okay, maybe I'll go try to work at the dallas pizza company. And then they're like how much you get paid? And you're like less than I would get make if I worked at a pizza company. So you do all that and it gets so exhausting and then you're like off. So then and then you have to find another job, just so you can get this other low-paying job. And that's why I get so excited to go on tour, because you're like, you beg to live this life like all the time, and I know that you're like well, you gotta try harder it's.
Speaker 2:Did you try it?
Speaker 1:what were you in a band and you played probably a vfw once. Maybe you played fucking pops. If you're from st louis, you know you do like a couple of those. That's not how hard it is to do stand up all the time, it's not one show and you just practice sometimes it's a bunch of shows that are and then finding time to practice. And then this practice, it did work. And then the second time you do it, it didn't work. And then you got a message a club, can I please work? And they're like, actually like.
Speaker 1:It's like I worked at a pizza restaurant and if I would have had to like be a waiter and every week be like, hey, can I please like I was a bus boy, but we'll just whatever. I was like, if I could be, can I could please come in and serve? And they're like no, because in comedy clubs they'll be actually like the headliners actually bringing their own openers so they don't want to have any local people. And then it's like, if you're like at a pizza place, you know, can I please work this weekend like actually the pizzas bring in their own servers, and this time, sorry, no, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, I'll just do some guest spots around town and practice handing out pizzas. Such a weird world we live in.
Speaker 2:Such a game we play, so I hope you're having time and your job doesn't suck. Hey, hey.
Speaker 1:God I just I would be. I couldn't have any regular job. I just realized I'm just so fucking bad at jobs. I'm so bad at jobs. I can't even tell you the last job and you're like, weren't you a firefighter? I'm like, yeah, but I'm good at like those jobs. I'm good at being a comedian, I'm good at that. I was good at being a firefighter, emt, because I'm good at those jobs where it's like you take that seriously, but you give me like a busboy job. You give me a. Oh, I worked at a golf facility Almost flipped one of the golf carts, same place that when I was a kid I drove one into the pond. They didn't check for that. You should probably ask, like, have you ever driven one of our golf carts into the pond? And then you go let me check my and you fucking run away.
Speaker 2:On a golf cart.
Speaker 1:Sports authority, which is the Dicks, if you're not familiar, or Are those the only two sporting? I think there's other sporting ones, but I don't know. Hibbets, yeah, I worked at like those and I was. I was such a bad employee. I've always been a bad. I've always been a bladder employee. You hire me to take shits here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can hire me, I'll take shits all the time.
Speaker 1:Sure, can't wait to work here. And poop, poop, poop, poop all the time You'll learn. You'll learn after you hire me. You're like God.
Speaker 2:That guy seems so nice yeah because I need a place to shit and get paid and then you're like well, what do you do for comedy?
Speaker 1:I shit in some of the grossest gas stations you've ever seen.
Speaker 1:I go to those gas stations where when you poop it's like your shit is uh, base diving or whatever it's like and it's got that like because some bathrooms stink, but it has that like smell where you're like I don't think they ever clean, it's like we're. I think it smelled like it the last time I was driving through this town. So, yeah, make sure you, we are going on tour. Please come see us on tour. That's the podcast. Please hit up zach buckovich and make sure he's okay. Please send him insulin. If you have some. Uh, please send him just whatever. He needs help and I love him and he's my boy, so I love you. Thank you for being a part of this. Sign up for for the Patreon. Come out and see a show. Kisses, I love you, goodbye.
Speaker 2:So long to you, my friend. So long Farewell, until we meet again. I said so long Farewell to you, my friends. So long farewell, until we meet again. That song's from a kid's show I used to watch when I would get off school Because I believe Arthur was vexed and that show was pretty good. It still kind of rips. I haven't watched it in a while, but when I do. I said it kinda rips. Goodbye, my friend.