Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox

#79 Comedy Quinceanera | Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox

• Bobby Jaycox

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Fifteen years into stand-up comedy feels both like a lifetime and the blink of an eye. From my first nervous open mic at the Funny Bone in St. Louis at 19 to celebrating what Cactus Tate dubbed my "comedy quinceañera" on our current tour, the journey has been filled with unexpected twists, meaningful connections, and moments of pure joy.

The road hasn't always been smooth. On our recent tour stops, I battled a nasty ear infection that left me feeling like I had "water in my head" – a condition that became contagious when Cactus and I shared a vape (lesson learned). The experience prompted me to quit nicotine entirely, something I wish I'd never started in the first place. If you've never smoked, trust me: stay right where you are. There are infinitely cooler ways to waste your time.

What makes this milestone special isn't just the years accumulated, but the extraordinary experiences along the way. I've been fortunate enough to meet and work with comics who inspired me from the beginning – sitting down one-on-one with Dane Cook, being taken on the road by Nikki Glaser, and recently performing a guest spot for Rory Scoville in Houston. These moments remind me how lucky I am to live within this creative community, even when my credit score doesn't qualify me for the dirt bike I sometimes daydream about.

Between apartment flooding disasters, cross-country tours, and philosophical musings about whether baby Jesus cried and needed diaper changes, this episode captures the beautiful chaos of a life dedicated to making people laugh. Looking back at that kid who first heard stand-up and thought "You knew about this and never told me?!", I can't help but feel profound gratitude for every step of this 15-year adventure.

Speaker 1:

I am going on tour with Cactus Tate, the two-hit wonder tour. We are coming to a city near you. Please come see us on the road. We are going to California, then we're heading to New York, pennsylvania, florida, utah, back to California, texas, florida, canada. We're coming all over. So please come see the shows, come say hi, get a ticket now at cactusstatecom.

Speaker 2:

Bye, and welcome back to discombobulated. How the heck are you?

Speaker 3:

I am doing great. I hope you're doing good. I'm getting a sick. I'm getting over being a sick.

Speaker 2:

I'm getting over, I'm getting down with the sickness. You go to the urgent care with your sickness, you have a near infection. Get down with the sickness, they give you antibiotics and you give it to me and they give you cough syrup and it still takes gross. It has a little bit of bubble gum flavor, but it still tastes gross. I'm a big boy but I don't like the gross. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

Speaker 3:

So that's where I've been. I've been cooped up, cooped up a bit. I woke up many times over my sickness and I just went back to bed. I had a bad ear infection, that fucking I mean. It kicked my whole ass and people will be like well, you know what I mean. I could even get up, I was like walking around a little bit, but then all of a sudden I'd get like fucking dizzy and I had like this fucking.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it was just gross. Write in the comments. Have you had that? Let me know how sick you're getting.

Speaker 3:

But I did, uh, I got, I was on tour with cactus tate. We were finishing up. Um, the last like city, uh, from the, the first tour, uh the I just want to talk shit tour, and which are about to go on tour, the two hit wonder tour so please come out and see that and uh, we are gonna, um, we're on the road and we're finishing up and in the last city I just started fucking. I was just like I don't feel right, you know, and I it wasn't, it didn't feel it in my ear. I was just like I don't feel correct and I was like telling tatum that and I was driving and I was like man, I just don't feel I feel off. And then we got to the show and I was like telling Tatum that and I was driving and I was like man, I just don't feel I feel off. And then we got to the show and I was setting up some merch and I just like, was like I, I don't feel good, like I, everyone went outside to smoke and I was I didn't.

Speaker 3:

I was like I'm gonna keep, I'm gonna keep setting all this stuff up, because I was like I just don't feel good. So then I go to like lay down. I was like, oh my God, like I feel this water in my head and I told Cactus about it and she made fun of me. She was like, oh yeah, you got water in your head. Like made, made fun of me and then guess what, we both have fucking ear infections. I don't even know how you get that.

Speaker 3:

How do people get an ear infection in the same ear? Was it because we were sharing a vape? Is that why? Because that might be the reason. If it's because you share a vape and vaping's not good for your ENT, your E or your N or your T, yeah, so I'm like I'm not gonna. You know, I don't. I'm not gonna smoke anymore. I have not. This is whoa. I think this is the longest I've went without smoking nicotine since the first time I did it, which was a year and a fucking half. If you ever quit smoking, fucking you stay right there. God, there are so many cooler things to waste your time with than smoking. I swear the fuck to God. I swear to God If you're like, oh, I want to be, don't.

Speaker 2:

And have a you know what.

Speaker 3:

You can, at some point in your life, smoke At some point in your life smoke. Once you purchase, once you become the consumer of it, you can't stop. It's hard Because I would do that. I remember when I started I was like 19. I was going to the Funny Bone. I swear to God. I remember we were smoking inside. People were like after the show, I'm like during the show, I think there were were still smoking shows, which was all the time they had shows, and so I would buy a pack of cigarettes. So I looked not 19 like people would look over and they'd be like that guy looks 19, I have a cigarette here. Then they'd be like, yeah, that guy looks 19 with a fucking cigarette in it. I guess I was buying them at 19. Did I wait till I was 21? I don't remember when I was buying it, but I definitely like whenever. I don't remember what age you can, okay, google. How old do you have to be to buy cigarettes?

Speaker 1:

21. On the website controllertexasgov they say the Texas legal age is 21 for the purchase, distribution, possession, purchase, consumption or receipt of cigarettes, cigarettes or tobacco products yeah, I guess I waited till I was 21.

Speaker 3:

Then, yeah, I must have been. I was probably bumming and then I guess, whenever I thought I could buy one I don't fucking remember, but that's why I did I did it because I wanted to like hang with. I wasn't like I want cigarettes and so if you're, if you bum them, stay right there, don't buy, don't, don't go to the store and buy them. And I've done that, like I've been the guy that like has cigarettes and I'm like here you can, you know, I mean, if someone's a bum, it it's like, yeah, have a cigarette, don't buy cigarettes because you always think it's going to fucking be this great, great, great thing.

Speaker 3:

And then afterwards you have a weird headache and you smell like your uncle. And you know what uncle I'm talking about. We all have an uncle that smells. He's like, you're like that's my cigarette uncle and an aunt. You have an aunt and an uncle, and maybe multiple, but when I say each one, you have a specific one you are thinking of. I do. I actually have an uncle that was the smoking one on my mom's side and the smoker on my dad's side my dad's sister and my mom's brother. They were both smokers, rumor has it.

Speaker 3:

One time at a Christmas party, someone caught them making out. Talk about getting what you wished for. Oh my God, making out at a family Christmas. I don't care if it's not incest. The fact that you have to explain it makes it gross Because, like who caught them? This is like when you start to grow up. You're like what and you hear that they had. And you're like because to me they're related. When you're a kid you don't understand how things work. I'm like. I think it's like a brother and sister kiss. I remember hearing this when they did. I remember hearing it like being a like younger and just being like what.

Speaker 3:

I have a fucked up family. I have a really weird family. Who? I have a really weird family. Who doesn't have a weird family though? Right Like I drank underage never with my friends, was not allowed.

Speaker 3:

You should not go drink with your friends. You drink with our family. You get drunk with adults. Inebriated adults are deciding you can have this Funny enough cigarette aunt also sharing the liquor with me.

Speaker 3:

No, there were two cigarette. There was two cigarette ants. I had, I mean three, but wait, one, two, three, one, two, three and then four, but like she stays, she's a bummer, she's like a bum cigarettes. You know what I mean and I think that's where you should stay. Like whenever my great grandma died, her grandma, my cousin's aunt bummer, she's like a bum cigarette. You know what I mean and I think that's where you should stay.

Speaker 3:

Like whenever my great grandma died, her grandma, my cousin's aunt, which is weird. You ever have like some of the same age and you're like grandma, like that's my aunt. You're like what the fuck are you talking about? People are like aunt Kathy. I'm like you mean grandma, grandma, aunt Kathy, what the fuck are you talking? What are you talking about, uh, but I, yeah, I remember when my great grandma died, we were walking out and I, uh, I remember my aunt was like I know you guys have a fucking cigarette. And we were like, yes, and we do have a cigarette and you can have one right now because you need one that's just leave it at that.

Speaker 3:

That's where you should leave cigarettes when you're kissing family members or, I guess, underage drinking with your family. Um, yeah, that happened. That that was just something, but, sincerely, that's why I'm a comedian legitimately. So I can't blame them, but I guess I would have rather been something besides a comedian If I wasn't, if this wasn't the light. You know what I mean. Like I'm like. There's people who are probably successful that are like, oh, maybe I want to be a comedian, but they're like, but I have a house, a dirt bike and can ride that dirt bike and I'm like I'm a comedian. And they're like that's so cool. And I'm like I just I see dirt bikes and I don't even want to get near one because I know I don't have my credits but like It'll beep, my credit score will just start going beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Speaker 2:

He can't get closer. He's going to try to buy that fucker. He's going to try to buy the dirt bike. He's going to ride around town.

Speaker 3:

I'm going to get a dirt bike and I'm going to be careful. I'm going to be careful on my dirt bike. That's what I'm going to do. I kind of want to get a dirt bike to ride around Austin and people are like Bobby, that sounds crazy. You know what else sounds crazy? Not getting one? But no, I mean, dude, the reason. I mean the reason I'm a comic. There's always there's layers to it or whatever. But I mean I had heard a couple.

Speaker 3:

I remember like I'd see blue collar stand up and I remember I came home and I was like Dad, I saw this movie, but it wasn't a movie. It was like fucking four guys Like they were just talking and they're funny, and he's like stand up, and I remember in my kid brain I was like you knew about this and you never told me. Like that. I remember exactly that feeling. And then I had heard a couple other standups Like I've I'd heard a couple, I don't remember which ones, but I had heard like here and there.

Speaker 3:

And then I went underage drinking at a college with my dad. I know it doesn't even make any sense, I know it's crazy. So we're all, I'm underage drinking with college guys and my dad and I get a little too drunk. And then they were like you should probably knock it off. And I'm like I guess so. And then my cousin goes. This guy just came to our school and I put in his like headphones and I was like listening to it and it was Dane Cook and it was the first time I'd ever. I was like this rules, this is so funny. I'd never heard anything like this. I was very, very, very fucking into it.

Speaker 3:

And then I was like infatuated and that that was like. That was like the kickoff for me and being like what's that over there? Because like when I was a kid I'd like love jim carrey and chris farley and I was like I always kind of thought I wanted to be an actor. And then you see this like stand-up world and then you don't even realize that that's kind of like your true, or that like path or whatever, because I've done like I like acting, but not like I like stand up, because with acting it's someone else's words or you know whatever, but with stand up it's all you. It's not even like you being in a band. You don't have to read someone else's lyrics, you don't have to make you know it's yours, you know. So I'm very, very, very lucky and I just celebrated my comedy quinceanera, which means I've been doing comedy for 15 years, and I'm very happy.

Speaker 3:

But you do tell people and they'll be like, holy shit, you should be like on netflix and I'm like, ah you, I am on hulu, but if you pause fucking quickly, pause the movie quickly. Actually, in apr, I think, I'm coming out on Hulu. I'm on a TV show. I'm on a TV show called what Would you Do, and I'm acting the entire time and I am pissing people off. You should check it out With those. John Quixotes, is that how you say his name? It's not an easy name to say and I don't know how to say it, and I might've accidentally walked on set a little early, and I know what he would do if you walk on set too early. What?

Speaker 2:

are you doing?

Speaker 3:

It's like a Good Samaritan show and I accidentally, we have walkie-talkies and headsets on. It's like you come around the corner. I don't know what I'm. I actually don't know what I'm talking about. What are you doing? Why did you feel the need to help?

Speaker 2:

What are you doing? What's going on, brother?

Speaker 3:

Great guy, honestly. Very sweet, sweet man, very, very sweet man. But yeah, I've been doing comedy for 15 years. I signed up my very first time right out of high school. I was 19 years old. I signed up at the Funny Bone in St Louis, missouri, missouri. And yeah, it has been a long, long, long, long road, but it's like anything. It feels like, it's kind of like a flash in the pan or whatever.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

I don't know. I try to be grateful because I do feel like there's anybody. I know anybody. You always think you want more, you want to do this or whatever, but I try to remember young me, like that little kid that was like you know, the little kid riding the bus, the fucking, the kid signing up to first first open mic. Think about that kid, seeing everything I've gotten to do and all the people I've got, all my heroes that I've gotten to meet and all that stuff. And I was like, yeah, dude, you're very fortunate, you're lucky and you worked very, very, very hard. So, yeah, I was having a good time and we went on the road and to celebrate my quinceanera, cactus Tate got me a cake which was so sweet.

Speaker 3:

I feel like everyone kind of feels like they get forgotten about sometimes. You know what I mean and I'm not like a big birthday guy, I'm not this, but you try to make people feel special and she did that for me. She made me feel important. We got to the club and she was like oh, I wonder what this is. I'm like what the fuck is that? It looks like a cake box. And then we open it up and it's for me. It said happy comedy, birthday, bitch or something like that and kind of anniversary. But it was great and we ate like a couple pieces of it, but it was a rich ass cake. I mean it had a microphone. I took a bite out of that. But I mean, if you can eat a fucking full piece of cake as an adult, you are a badass. You're a badass Because I'm not eating unhealthy anymore, I'm not smoking the vape, I'm eating healthy.

Speaker 2:

I fasted for fucking. I had my 15 years and I purged it all out.

Speaker 3:

I shit and fucking threw up a little bit Mm-hmm. I got a little bit Mm-hmm. I got a little bit of that top-shelf vomit out. I got a little bit of Sorry about that.

Speaker 3:

But, yeah, so I'm very happy I've gotten to Dude. I've met Dane Cook. I've gotten to sit down and have a one-on-one chat with him just us. I was taken on the road by Nikki Glaser whenever I was first starting out. That is unmatched. Ryan Stout had vouched for me to get my very first hosting spot. Jeremy Essig had helped me out so much starting out. All my friends starting out Rafe, tina.

Speaker 3:

Whenever I was like a comic we would all do and hang out and do shows together. I did STL up late, this like sketch show. My best friend, briggs growing up he was there for my first open mic made sure I was prepared, ready to go up, helped me run my material, helped me write some of my first material ready to go up, helped me run my material, helped me write some of my first material like would help me punch up stuff and like ideas I had and yeah, so that was a uh. Yeah, I'm very I'm lucky I woke up for Dave Chappelle, like all these people that I grew up watching and seeing. I now know Rory. And here's another one, rory Scoville. We just went and saw him in Houston. I messaged him because I was like, hey, me and Cactus, I'm going to come visit her at her hometown. We would love to come see you. And he was like well, why don't you just do a guest spot, which is so not? It's so nice to not like like, because I don't like to pester people. I would really rather just come watch the show than be like can I get something? It's like they're already doing something. You know it's so it's annoying to overly ask, but you do have to. It's a it's a hard line to find, but I was just I really was just like I want to come watch him because he is a master. He is one of the most energetically fun, off the top of your head inspirational comics. He's such he's a very, very driving inspirational force for like me as a comic Like there's certain people that like I saw and it's like you're already like in that world, you're kind of like them.

Speaker 3:

But you see someone else that's like, kind of like you. It's like you see someone else with the same shoes. You know you're like, oh, you like the. You know you like those two, but he's like, he's just so good. Like we got to hang out and we, when we got into town, he, we accidentally ran into each other cause he had texted me but I was driving so I didn't see it, cause I'm being really good about not looking at my phone while I'm driving and cause of all the shit that. And so we were walking and all of a sudden I hear Bobby Jaycox and I turn around and it's Rory and it was. I was just like it was awesome. And then, yeah, I was, I don't know.

Speaker 3:

Oh, and then his opener, geoff Tice. Why the fuck do I call people with Geoff? If they say Geoff, he spells it G-E-O-F-F and I, when I was a kid I saw G-E-F-R-A-L-L-E that's how I would say it, but it's Geoff Raleigh or however you say that. But I always thought, because it was in a magazine, I would read it. I'm like, oh, g off, and no one. Sorry, jeff, jeff Tice, oh, I'm so sorry. He was his opener.

Speaker 3:

We all got to go. They grabbed drinks before the show. We got to talk. We were just kind of talking about just the world, life and everything and to just be like in that, like that's. I realized like while we were doing that and then he gave me a guest spot and we were hanging out, I was like At one point, while I'm talking with him.

Speaker 3:

I just was like he's right there. All the things that you've wanted, all these things, whatever it's like they're right here. The fame, a huge fan base and all that stuff yeah, definitely need all that. But as far as like the world of it or whatever, I I'm literally like the luckiest guy and like so happy worth where I'm at. Like I told rory I was like dude, I rolled over there today. My tv was on, like the movie was over and it played another movie and I was like and I woke up and you were on tv, you're in. I was. He's like that's crazy. I'm like, yeah, that's.

Speaker 3:

But it's just it's cool to know that after you like do something for long enough, you get to like be in that world, and that's something I didn't expect to love so much, like I definitely when I first thought I thought it was going to be like me writing jokes, taking them on stage, not as much like you getting to be in that world hanging out with contemporary people that you love, people that you see on TV, all that kind of stuff. I'm very, very, very fortunate and I'm happy with. Yeah, I'm just really happy with where I'm at and I can't stop expressing how much I'm trying to say. I'm trying to be grateful because I mean it could all be taken away at any time, because I'm not fucking good at this. If someone audits my stand-up, I'm fucking flying fucked. Do you know that? Do you know, if I get an audit, they're going to go? Where are these punchlines?

Speaker 2:

I go uh, you, what's that?

Speaker 3:

Actually I think the government owes me a couple fucking punchlines or whatever.

Speaker 3:

But yeah so we got to go see rory. I mean, god, he is so funny. I really do recommend if you, if he comes to your city, you have to go see him. He's so god damn, he's such he's.

Speaker 3:

I was like doing that thing where I literally laughed so loud people looked at and that rarely like happens. And I'm not like a too cool to laugh guy. I love laugh, I love being at a show and I laugh. But when someone really hits my funny bone, it's I'm already loud, it's me fucking. You can't turn it down, dude, you cannot, you cannot turn it down, don't even try. So yeah, I was just like absolutely loving his show and I don't want to give any of it away. But God damn, you got to go see it. God damn, you got to go see it. So, yeah, that was great. And then, um, I'm driving, uh, today, later today, to go um to Tatum's and then we're going to go early, early, early in the morning. We are riding to, we're flying to, we're flying to California, we are going to California. Maybe eat the ambiance. No, that's mine. I can't wait to go to Cali.

Speaker 3:

The weather, the weather and the flowers. Have you fucks seen the flowers? Did you hear that fart Because I was going to point my microphone at it but I thought it was going to be loud enough and by golly I hope it was. I have a second one and I'm not confident in it. I would not give that fart a guest spot on my show, if that makes sense. Bobby. What's a guest spot? It's just where you do a little bit at a time and then everyone goes. Who the fuck is this fucking idiot? But the headliner does it because they love them. Yeah, but the flowers, everything I picked up what are those things called? Did I pick up blue bonnets, or is that just a butter? I picked up like some blue flowers. I saw some red flowers. I got some yellow flowers. I'm a flower bitch. Bob's a flower queen dude. I love picking flowers.

Speaker 2:

I love it.

Speaker 3:

I love when you pick a flower and you get to put it in your ear or you fucking put it in a little bag you have or you put it on your dashboard. You fucking I love that being kind of scared that snakes might. Is there a snake going to bite me while I'm trying to pick?

Speaker 2:

the color right out of the ground. Hmm, watch out, am I going to get ticks? Am I going to get ticks? Am I going to get ticks Cause I love beauty bitch.

Speaker 3:

So, yeah, I uh, I drove to Houston, drove back, and now I'm going to drive to Houston and then we're gonna fly, and then I'm gonna come back and, uh, complain about the apartment. God, I can't wait to move out of this apartment. I'm going to send one more letter and here's the thing We've gotten rent credit. Oh, we might be getting it again because the fucking place flooded last night. Everything that could break in a place If you bought, if I bought, a home, like I've never even seen that movie. What's the movie? The Burbs? No, not the burbs, the other, tom Hanks one, the money pit. I'm money pitting it Like everything is going to shit, but then what I just get to do, instead of freaking out and like cleaning up water, going, oh, I don't care about this drywall, I'm going to be out of here soon. Where are you going to move, bobby? Where are you going to move your body, bobby? I'm thinking about Austin. I'm thinking I'm going to stay in Austin. I'm also thinking about staying in my car and just driving around the country, but that can also get pricey. I also don't know what I'm going to do. So if you know a place and you're like this is a place for Bob, send it to me. And if it's too expensive, fucking who cares? And if it's too cheap, fucking who cares? And if it has roommates, don't send it to me.

Speaker 3:

I'm not living with anyone else for a long time and I'm not complaining. I love everybody, but I, you know, we kind of give up at some point. I'm not going to be a post-it note putting stuff on stuff. I'm just like you know what I could clean up after a guy. I've cleaned up after a guy. I've pretty much dated Zach for a little bit, but he's about to move in with his girlfriend and God bless her. I hope, I hope it, I hope it works out.

Speaker 3:

The relationship is I don't mean like that, I mean like the roommate part. No, he really is. I wouldn't. I honestly I wouldn't talk shit on him if I actually didn't like him. I absolutely love him. Does he emit beer cans? Yes, it feels like. Every time he sits down, it's like, instead of like Mario, whenever he dies, it's just like, instead of like all the coins, it's just like a bunch of fucking Lone Stars going. But again, I don't mind.

Speaker 3:

I went the first half living by me, cleaning the entire apartment for both of us and now I don't do that. And what does it smell like? Exactly what you think it smells like. Have you brought girls over here? Not very often Does his girlfriend come over Absolutely not. I even asked her that.

Speaker 3:

I was like, why don't you stay over here? She's like I uh, we both started laughing. I was like dude, I know, I know why you don't stay there, I know why you don't stay at the Zack Attack, but he really is a great guy. Zack Buckovich is an amazing comic. He's a good person. I really love that guy. I really, really, really love him. I'm not a perfect roommate fucking either. So let's both just be bad. You know that's what I'm going to do.

Speaker 3:

You know, live a little bit like Jesus. Live a little bit on the edge and, like Jesus, did Jesus have quotes on his wall that inspired him, like an arrow that just says, like that's your dad. Like up at the sky, papa, pointing up, because there had to be days where Jesus was like I am so tired of being a son of God, god damn it, I would kill to. I mean, I wouldn't. No, I would never. Sorry God, sorry Papa. I know that to I mean, I wouldn't know, I would never. I'm sorry. Sorry, papa, I know that's one of your rules. You have 10 rules and then you have, like other rules and then you have loopholes in those rules and you want me, god damn, like when, like it's hard.

Speaker 3:

This is when, when I was a kid, I never got this answered and I really want to know this. When Jesus was a baby and I know here's the thing I have a different. When I was a kid, I had a different like view on sinning Cause I would see people be like yeah, that's not sinning. I'm like that seems bad, though it doesn't seem good to kind of like get around, like aren't we all trying to be like? Isn't that what you should try to be Like? You're a kid. You have, like this glowing idea of like what a person can and should be, especially if you're a religious or whatever, and you're like I could grow into that. But then whenever they would talk about jesus and they're like yeah, he was a baby, I was like then was he like?

Speaker 3:

because it's not a sin to shit your pants and have someone else clean it up, but it doesn't seem like good right, like even like primates don't do that, like they don't shit, and then they just go and then they come back. Your mom has to take care of it and she's like ugh. And then you're doing that and then crying Was Jesus a perfect baby? It's hard to picture the son of God being like ah, how do you justify that part?

Speaker 2:

And they're like well, that part doesn't count.

Speaker 3:

And you're like but I thought he, how do you justify that part? And they're like well, that part doesn't count. And you're like but I thought he was oh my God, you know. It's like when do you become the son of God, like post-puberty? How does this shit work? I don't know. And they keep talking about the Antichrist is gonna come back. There's some people around, there's some things and people that you're like what are you doing, christ? But opposite every fucking way. Backwards ass. Hosanna in the lowest Christ, but opposite every fucking way.

Speaker 2:

Backwards ass. Hosanna in the lowest. Hosanna in the gutters. Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the lowest.

Speaker 3:

That's the pod. Come check out a show. I love you. Here we go.

Speaker 2:

Bye.