Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox

#80 My Friend Erin | Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox

• Bobby Jaycox

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Help Erin and her family here:

https://www.mealtrain.com/trains/w0kvdq

Sometimes life throws the hardest challenges at the best people. My childhood friend Erin, who shaped my musical tastes and shared countless teenage adventures with me, is now battling Guillain-Barré Syndrome – a condition where her immune system attacks her nervous system. As a mother of twins and other children, she needs our community's support now more than ever. Throughout this episode, I share memories of our friendship, from introducing me to Story of the Year (when they were still Big Blue Monkey) to navigating the awkward terrain of high school relationships.

Between urgent calls for support, I take you behind the scenes of the Two Hit Wonder Tour across California. From the historic walls of Cobb's Comedy Club in San Francisco (where comedy legends like Robin Williams once performed) to connecting with seemingly unreachable audience members at Sacramento's Punchline, these road stories highlight why comedy remains my perfect happy place despite its challenges. Plus, you'll hear about airport absurdities – from humiliating singing cupcake machines to the peculiar ways TSA consistently profiles my tour partner while I breeze through security.

This episode also marks a personal turning point as I share my journey quitting vaping, establishing a workout routine, and taking control of my finances. After some challenging years, I'm embracing positive changes while maintaining the silly personality that defines my comedy. As a particularly meaningful Coheed and Cambria lyric reminded me recently, "People call it luck, but they're just trying to pass the buck" – success requires both good fortune and persistent effort. Check my social media for links to help Erin, and come see us on the Two Hit Wonder Tour as we continue bringing laughter to new cities.

Speaker 1:

hey, welcome back to another episode of discombobulated. How the fuck is it going? How the hell are you doing? I hope you're doing good.

Speaker 1:

I want to say this up top I have a friend who is in need and my friend is. Her name is Erin and she. I grew up with her. I've known her for a very long time. She's a huge reason why I'm a mega fan of Story of the Year. Her brother was in a music video you can see as Wiener. It's on YouTube, type in BigBlueMonkey, you'll find it.

Speaker 1:

But she's not doing great and she needs your help. So go to my socials and I will share links on how you can help her, because she is GBS, which, from what I understand, means her immune system is attacking her nerves and just because her body doesn't know what the hell is going on, we do so. We are going to help her and her family because she's an amazing, funny, incredible person. She's incredible. She, like I said, we were in student council together. She's incredible. She, like I said, we were in student council together. She got me into story of the year, so she's very important. So you got to help her. She has GBS and if you don't know what that is okay. Google. What's GBS? According to Wikipedia, neelan-barr syndrome is a rapid onset muscle weakness caused by the immune system damaging the peripheral nervous system. See you don't? And if that doesn't, does that sound good to you or bad? Bad, cool, let's help her out. Then Make sure you donate and I already donated too. Don't be one of those people, cause there was, I do know, a comedian who shared something and they're like donate. And I was like, holy shit, I should probably try to donate. And I went to donate and there was no way to donate. I'm not saying you shouldn't bring awareness, but I was saying that I think you should fucking check the link before you fucking make people. I'm mad. I am mad Because the Lord hurt my friend. The Lord made my friend sick with some GBS, and that is some BS, if I ever heard some. And just so you know, erin would laugh at all of this because she has a good sense of humor, and so do you, if you're listening to this podcast and wondering how you transition out of talking about this. And she has twins, so she really needs help. She had a kid and the kid was like there's two of us and she also has other children, so on top of another, children, her children, copy pasted inside of her body. So she needs help. I was texting her earlier. So I, we are, we are friends. I'm not I am sure she's gonna hear this and go. That was the dumbest shit I ever heard. And I'm like, yeah, you've known, I didn't make you be friends with me, I didn't approach you in math class. Oh my God, yeah, she was a huge reason.

Speaker 1:

I'm, like I said, a mega, mega Story of the Year fan. Because she was like we were like talking about music we both were into and I remember at the time, like I knew Story of the Year but she was like, oh, here's them like as Big Blue Monkey, which was their band before they were Story of the Year. They were called Big Blue Monkey and they had a song called story of the year. Can you believe it? So that whole world was opened up to me by her and she was like, oh, here's my brother, uh, here's him in like a video and they like they throw a fire work into the fucking like a firecracker into the shower so he has to jump out and you see his little wiener and that kind of shaped my sexuality. I was like, well, this band's pretty cool, this band's pretty effing rock and roll. You got peckers. What more could you ask for? Really, I'm thinking and I can't think of anything. So, um, yeah, she also.

Speaker 1:

One time we were at my house and we were, um, we were washing our cars and so we didn't have shoes on, we were just like in swim trunks and she slipped in dog shit and I think and that is one of the funniest memories I just remember her going. She's like I was like why are you gagging right now? She's like I stepped in your dog and here's what I'm gonna, be very honest, we have to help her now because I didn't help her back. Then she was like can you help me? And I was like I can't, I'm gonna fucking throw up aaron's like poppy. Can you help me? And I was like I can't. And she's like it's your dog and I was like I don't even know what the hell you're talking about. She was like help me, spray it off. And I was like go tell the neighbors. Oh, my god, what's in it? Oh, and then I also I dated.

Speaker 1:

We dated like in high school, forever ago, 20 years ago, yeah, like almost 20 years ago, and I guess I didn't know she had a boyfriend before me. That happens. And then we date and I woke up one day and I had a little tiny truck, a little S10 date. And I woke up one day and I had I had a little tiny truck, a little S10. And I woke up and my mom woke me up and it's like a, it's like a Sunday morning, saturday Sunday morning, and this was like the first time I'd ever been a part of this Cause. It was like my first high school girlfriend, I guess, or like first, like you know, and she was a grade older than me but her boyfriend was older than her and this guy we'll never know for sure.

Speaker 1:

But my mom woke me up and she's like hey, someone like fucking absolutely destroyed your truck and I was like what? And I go outside and I'm thinking it's gonna be like bashed in or whatever. But apparently he, he, I could have been anybody we're thinking it was him covered my car in cat shit and kitty litter and like colored feathers you would get from like the craft store, like glitter, like it almost seemed like they were like fuck this guy. And then they were like well, if we're gonna make it a project. We should get an A on it. And there's chocolate sauce, bobby. How do you know it was chocolate? I don't, I didn't eat it, but you know the chocolate sauce when you see it. And so I had to drive my truck to go get fucking washed. And I just remember I was driving and I looked over and there was someone that was dying laughing in their car with their windows rolled up. I could just see them laughing and I was like, yeah, so that's how cool Erin is. If you date her, someone's going to fucking be mad and destroy your property. That's how bad this bitch is. That's how cool she is.

Speaker 1:

So you got to donate and help. You have to. I'm fucking telling you to no if you can, but you can. You're like all I can donate is a couple bucks. Then do that. Skip a meal like I did, and donate. Bobby, you skip meals all the time. I do.

Speaker 1:

I was poor before. My friend needed help and now I'm poor after. But you guess what, when I'm in poor health later and she is all and she's in great health, she, her and her family are gonna be like we should donate to that, fucking, that ugly lady. You know tatum's cactus, tate the girl I go on the road with her daughter said to her the other day she saw a picture of me with short hair and she goes that's not Bobby. And she goes, yeah, no, that is. And she, right before they went to bed, she told her mom she goes. You know what?

Speaker 1:

I think Bobby looks better as a girl. You ain't the only one girl, yeah, but my ex used to tell me to cut my hair. If I'd have done that, I wouldn't look like Jesus Christ, which is very important this day and age, cause everything is getting so religious that I'm glad I do look like Jesus. Like, if I needed to, I could do a couple of things. I could. I could pull a miracle Um, they'd be like that guy rolled that joint that fast, or whatever miracle I do, and then I could probably, they'd probably give me some change. I'm going to go give this to the poor In my pocket. That pocket's poor. I'm the poor guy. Bobby, you seem like you're so rich I know no one said that just now, anyway, but yeah, so Erin's amazing.

Speaker 1:

I just I'll keep talking about her. We've been friends, like I still I'll keep in contact with her and her brother, and what's crazy is like how much like that time influenced me. Like she got me into like certain music, all of that stuff, and like I was into other bands. But when she really got me into story of the year, I was like okay, and she, she took me to see them. I think we saw him at point fest for the first time and I remember I was like I want to go down there and she's like, no, it'd be better watch them up here. I still think it would have been better if I went down, but it was hot and I got ketchup on my leg and I stunk to fucking high heaven. Um, so, yeah, she took me, her and her brother, I think we went when we were in high school. We went to go see them and then she stepped in dog shit and we went to a couple of dances together. She would go to parties, but my parents wouldn't allow me to go to parties, so that was always fun.

Speaker 1:

I had a girlfriend that was like the life of a party and I'd have to like hear about it Like I was her dad. She's like, oh my God. And then, and then this guy, tyler, I thought he was going to try to kiss me but he didn't and I had never, I had never been cheated on in my life. So I didn't know, up until like later, after a different girlfriend did. So I was like how jellyfish react, like if they've never been harmed. Like she was like this guy tried to kiss me and I was like that's crazy, like I had no jealousy. I had no jealousy. Jealousy was can be kind of like manifested and harbored or whatever. So you know that that kind of comes later. But she was, I don't know, she was always just great. She was always like loved by, like, like she would go to.

Speaker 1:

She was like that girl in school that's like would go to parties and would be fun at parties, would also help someone if they needed help. And then was also like in student council got great grades, um, funny council got great grades, um funny. So yeah, we have to help her. We gotta you just fucking mother, goddamn fucking have to. Yeah, um, I don't want to. I'll probably talk to. I should have her on the. Well, I'll just have her on the podcast one time. Um, oh, my god, I'm trying to think, because there's also like there's stories that I can't you can't tell every story, um, but I'm trying to think.

Speaker 1:

I remember uh, I remember because we were friends in just like a class class when we first met. That's how you, just before you date someone, you're in a class together or something. She would tell me stories about her boyfriend. I knew they had had sex and I didn't. I was a virgin. She would talk about it and everything she would say about this guy would gross me out and I was like I don't even know if I like, if I'm like straight, maybe I don't like girl. Like she was like yeah, do you do this? Like my boyfriend will just like, he'll just like fucking, pop one out into his and then into his covers and then like and I'm like, and then throw his covers in the trash and she's like no, you just keeps using them. Like it does that and then, or whatever. And I was like, oh my god, that's crazy. And you always hear those fucking stories and I'm glad I'm not one of those guys like I'm fucking, I'm not bob and airy enough or whatever. I'm like in between, where I'm not that fucking, I'm not doing that. Like guys are just like I have a jerk off wall, it's like my wall, I jerk off onto the wall. I, yeah, I don't know. I don't know about all that. I don't know why I shared that. I should fucking cut that out, but I don't know how it's gonna. I don't know why I shared that. I should fucking cut that out, but I don't know how it's going to stay in the pot.

Speaker 1:

But yeah, she was always just like super, yeah, super, duper, funny and like. I've always liked and like been like friends with girls that were like that, like not really like I have like feminine, feminine friends, but I've always had friends that were funny and open, honest, all that stuff. And Erin was one of the first ones that I remember meeting in high school that introduced me to a lot of people, friends, everything. So yeah, she's amazing. Please make sure you help and donate to her. And let's talk about tour. You know I can't talk about my, my sick friend, my sick ass friend. No, she's gonna do great because that's she has a positive attitude. She's gonna be great. Um in with medicine will help a ton. Fucking, absolutely a bunch will be helped out by having that. Um.

Speaker 1:

But yeah, I was, uh, I was just on tour with cactus tate and we had so much fun. We were in sacramento, san francisco. We were all over the road and then we had a layover in la and so we got to go to the beach. We went to hermosa beach. Um god, just what a fucking incredible time.

Speaker 1:

We we haven't traveled by airplane in a while. We've been driving everywhere and I'm I like driving. She fucking hates flying. So anytime we have to, I love it because I'm fucking like. I didn't fly until I was like older. I still get excited about it. I can sleep on a plane like I love it. I love it.

Speaker 1:

I hate the waiting around, but I just got TSA pre-check and that shit's a fucking ass, a fucking loot. Shit, that shit. You gotta get TSA pre-check if you want to cartwheel people, don't. There's three TSA agents standing there and I walked by and my thing beeped, like literally my luggage beeped and I waited for someone to grab it. No one grabbed it. You just it's like a joke, you just go through. They're like you keep your shoes on they hand, you like a. They're like here's an extra belt, just fucking put this one on. So I got, went through, perfect. And then I went through and then she got groped.

Speaker 1:

She gets groped almost every single time. They profile her. They think she's a bad guy and she's not. It's actually insane. I show her every time. She's like man, she really grabbed the shit out of me. I'm like, yeah, I didn't even think she asked her. She's like I'm going to touch the back of my hand. She just flipped her around. I was like Jesus Christ, because I was going to post it. I was like this one's really not funny. She's like I know, I fucking hate it every time. She yeah, I have a where my my pants are tied together. Yeah, that's something. I have something bad. Anyway, I don't care. But so I fucking I fly through and we're there and she was in a bad mood. But I'll tell you what I was in. I can't explain it. I was in a great mood. I barely got in any sleep the night before, but I was still just like. I felt great and I'm in a good mood.

Speaker 1:

I love traveling for standup. It's my happy place. So we're on the road and then she goes to the bathroom and I watch a lady. Have you ever if, when you go to an airport, there's a couple? There's a couple, like everything's normal? You know? It's like okay, here's all the chips, here's water, here's a Starbucks, here's the things. And then every once in a while you see like some crazy shit. And at the Houston was it the Houston airport? It's kind of at all of them There'll be like a coffee maker that makes your coffee.

Speaker 1:

That you're like I'm not fucking, I'm not letting this, I'm not letting a Waymo car make my fucking coffee. And then next to that there's like a humongous thing for cupcakes and you always look at it and you're like I kind of want one. But you're like I'm not fucking eating a cupcake. I'm not, I'm not getting a cupcake, I'm not buying a cupcake and I've never seen anyone buy one. And we're sitting there and we're like at the gate so early one. And we're sitting there and we're like at the gate so early because we're always kind of scared of missing our flight. So we're like sitting there and we're at our gate, we're just chilling. And she goes to the bathroom and I see a lady walk by and she's like there's so few people here. I can like see her mental process. She's like I'm gonna get one of these. I've always wanted one of these.

Speaker 1:

She looked like a weary traveler. She had like a backpack on, she had shit. She sets right up in front of the sprinkles thing and she like fucking pushes the button to get her fucking cupcake. She pushes the button and as soon as she does it, the thing like lights up and starts singing to her. It's like sprinkles, sprinkles Every girl loves the sprinkles. Sprinkles, every girl loves the sprinkles. You are a sprinkle girl, everyone is a sprinkle. Boy and girl and a girl who loves sprinkles, you're happy, no problems in your life. It starts screaming this song at her and I had to cover my mouth because I started laughing so hard because you could tell when she turned around she was like I didn't want this at all.

Speaker 1:

It would be like if you went to buy M&Ms and the fucking red and yellow M&M came out and started fucking twerking next to you. You're like no, I just needed a little bit of a dopamine rush inside of me. That even no one can. I need a private dope and private vip dopamine rush. Can I get it from this fucking cupcake machine? And she's like sprinkle bitch, you will sprinkle, little bitch. And you could tell she was so tired. She was like my fucking flight got canceled, all this shit. Just sprinkle, sprinkle, you like sprinkles. Ha ha, you fucking little travel bitch. God, I'm just so glad I didn't get it. It's like I just I was always like man, those look kind of good and don't ever buy one of those. How fucking fucking long are those in there? There's no way. They're restocking those all the time.

Speaker 1:

So you get fucking sick. You got mold on your cupcakes and you're embarrassed. You go to the little tiny bathroom and you're like throwing up just because you're like I need, I need to feel a little bit better with fucking sugar. Sugar in every possible form. It's ever been in Hard, soft, doughy soft, and I need it in all the flavors and then you fucking eat that shit.

Speaker 1:

If this motherfucker outside can't figure out his car horn, I can't wait to move out of this fucking dumb ass apartment. I fucking hate this. These mesh apartments are fucking awful. That's always happening. There's literally there's one building next to me where there's a lady with a megaphone and I don't know because she's speaking Spanish, but she, I think it's about like I don't know something she believes in very, very much and it happens every day. It's behind that building and I can hear it and I'm like I can't imagine if I lived in that building and people just don't complain.

Speaker 1:

I would complain my fucking ass off this long hair. You think this made me a Karen? I've been a Karen when I had this short hair, just like a fucking Karen. Um, thanks for turning it off. Thanks for turning that beep off, you fucking beep. But anyway, I'm actually not mad. I'm actually. I really am in a good mood.

Speaker 1:

I, uh, I started working out again, so I'm feeling great. I stopped vaporizing ha, I don't smoke nicotine anymore. We were on the road and I quit because I had fasted, because I got so fucking sick I couldn't do anything and I haven't hit the vape and I haven't wanted it. I've been bored to where I was like, oh, I remember why I used to want this, but I swear to god, I haven't been like, haven't been doing it. And Tatum's, she's like on the outs, she's trying to quit because she's also like doing it by herself and she'll hit it and she'll be like, fuck, it hurts my stomach. And I used to be with her. I'd be like, give me, let me hit that. And I didn't like, fuck, now both of our stomachs hurt, but now just her stomach hurts and I am laughing at a sprinkle lady.

Speaker 1:

So it was good and, yeah, we had a great time on tour. It was so nice being on California. It wasn't exactly warm yet, but there were some warm moments but I was like so pumped. I was like, dude, we're going on tour, it's the fucking Two Hit Wonder Tour, let's go, baby. And then it got cold, but we were at Cobb's. Cobb's was fucking awesome.

Speaker 1:

It's so cool when you can go into a comedy club and feel the history, looking on the wall, seeing all these signed posters, seeing all these original artworks for shows that they've had there. I was pretty sure I think we were talking about it and I didn't look it up, but I was like I wonder if. Because I saw a thing for a, a tribute to rob williams. I'm like I wonder if he's been here. And this guy was this guy. Adam was like, yeah, dude, I mean he lived in san francisco. I'm sure he came to cops. It's like you're fucking, you're right and so like when you're in something like that because they have new comedy clubs and they're great. But when you go to one that like, has history and you know that, like people who you grew up watching, or certain comedians that you that are in the zeitgeist were in this room, was like, uh, you're like, oh my god, that's fucking, it's incredible. So we went there. That was incredible.

Speaker 1:

And then we went to the punchline in Sacramento and I had one of the best opening sets I've had in forever. I had some good crowd work. I'm going to try to see. I think we caught it on the iPhone. I think we got it stage and this guy looked like he fucking hated every single person on stage and then finally, like I look over and he's laughing, I was like, oh, thank god, you're laughing, dude. I thought I thought you were gonna fucking kill me and him laughing at that and like how I opened, it was just all so, so, so different and it just felt fucking absolutely incredible. So that was amazing.

Speaker 1:

And then, um, where do we see, was that on this trip? We? We saw Rory Hold on. I'm trying to fucking think why is it not easy for me to remember? I don't know if I talked about this or whatever, but we were on the road and we saw Rory was also going to be on the road and so we went and saw him and I, for the fucking absolute life of me, don't remember which city he was in, but it was him and Jeff Tice and we got to see them and that was a huge plus. I'm always so excited when I get to hang out with someone who's one of my all-time favorite comics.

Speaker 1:

It's a blast being on the road and I'm very grateful for it. That's why I'm starting to work out not smoke, because I was like I don't want to be in complete heaven and then also pretend that I have all these problems that I don't have, because there's other problems that I did have that I've worked myself out of. I fucking, I am monetarily working way fucking harder. I got I'm getting shit fucking paid off. I'm trying to get to that. I want to get to that level, to where I'm just broke Not broke and terrified, scared as fucking shit. Ready for the future. I had asked for but and I can't wait to move out of this fucking apartment Unless they give me a good deal because I've been complaining because we had a fucking huge leak the fucking where you go to wash your clothes is always dirt. It feels like that place needs a fucking laundry. That thing could outuse a cycle of cleaning, could fucking can't get rid of these cockroaches. Bobby, that's gross. I know I'm on your side with that one, so, but it's been. Uh, it's been a blast to uh, yeah, be like on the road. I really, I just I don't have any problems.

Speaker 1:

I was in such a good mood. I was listening to the new um, I was listening to keith, coheed and cambrie album and, I'll be honest, I cried I, because the songs are so good. And then it was like they always hit a couple. They, what was this line? He's like people call people, call it luck, but they're just like trying to pass the buck. And I heard that and I was just like, damn, I really needed to hear that, because I've worked very, very, very hard and there's a lot of times where you're like there is luck in this too, but also you kind of make your own luck or whatever. Uh, that's from the dark night, um, but the uh, that's just how I felt.

Speaker 1:

I just was like in a good mood and like, while I was on the road with tatum, she was like I gotta go take a nap and it's like, good, yeah, you're a mom, you're a mom, you headline, you all this. So I went and like picked up posters, got like everything ready, like just fucking rolled some joint, got everything fucking set up for the day and then was about to lay down and then her husband was like hey, can you call me really quick? I need to like I she he's like cause he had to go, he had to run inside the. He was like I gotta go like run in the store and come, like to go pick up medicine and I don't want to get my daughter I all this stuff. He's like we just like hang out, I'm gonna leave the. You know what I mean Like in the safe way, don't fuck it. The car wasn't hot, I'm being and I was going to lay down, but I was like no, let me help out. And so it's like I called and like to do it. I was glad that like I could help someone out and that we were getting everything done. So I'm bragging on myself.

Speaker 1:

I've had a really hard, really really hard couple of years and instead of wallowing in it, I've been working hard and I've been light, working out for like a couple of weeks and shit like that. But lately I've just was like I talked to chat GPT and I was like give me a fucking regiment, tell me exactly what to eat. So that's what I'm doing. I came home last night, cooked some dinner, cheap-ass dinner Fucking, did some of the most push-ups I've ever fucking done in my life.

Speaker 1:

Hot Boy Summer coming right at you. Hot Bob Summer going to get a little dumb in the fucking tricep and bicep area no, yeah, but you're gonna see. You're gonna see Bob rip, but what's funny is I don't think I can get ripped. I think there's only a certain level I'll be able to get like in shape, because you see, those guys who are like in shape and then like they kind kind of lose their personality and I don't want to do that. I want to be a silly bitch but I want to be able to lift stuff without going ow, my fucking lower back hurt. So I'm going to work out and then I mean, it's like I got to be in shape and quit vaping if I want to be joined.

Speaker 1:

Story of the Year, because they're making their seventh album and I'm ultimately confused on why my email texts aren't coming through. I'm curious on how they're going to have a backup guitar. That's knows them as well. So any fucking ways, I am ready to do that and I got to do it by getting in shape, being able to backflip. Because I'll be honest now and if your story of the year hit pause, cause I don't want you to hear this, don't listen to them.

Speaker 1:

They're getting fucking old. How do you know they're getting old? You seen these fucking guys lately. So, since they're getting so old, they're like Rory's clothes, those both those fucks are old, can you imagine. But so they're getting old as shit and they I don't want you know their legacy to die. So it's like I'm trying to do it, I'll just be the one to back flip and all that stuff.

Speaker 1:

And they're like well, bobby, you can't rock and roll. How fucking hard could it be? How hard, how, how hard could it be? If you can wear a top hat doing it and sun, if you can wear a top hat and sunglasses, how hard can your job be? My job's so fucking easy. My job is so and it's not. It's actually there's some hard stuff that you probably couldn't do, but as far as like, how hard it is, it's not and it's easy and it's like the best job fucking ever, ever.

Speaker 1:

But for real, get your shit together and come see us on tour. We are on the two hit wonder tour. Uh, please donate. Uh, to help my friend Aaron out. I'm going to share, uh, all the links on my socials and everything like that and just send her some love. I feel like everyone needs, loves it and wants it. So that's it. I guess that's the pod and I have to go eat protein so that my stomach stops hurting and I'm going to be a guy who starts to eat instead of being a guy who smokes a vape so much and you get headaches and you're like why don't I feel good? And you're like because no nutrition has went into your gullet. That's it. Bye, motherfuckers, I love you, see you later. Bye, that's it, bye-bye.