Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox

#82 Trust Fart | Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox

• Bobby Jaycox

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Ever wonder what really happens when comedians hit the road together? Bobby takes us behind the curtain of comedy touring life, revealing both the hilarious disasters and tender moments that unfold when performers spend too much time in close quarters.

The adventure begins with a midnight dog hunt at Cactus Tatum's house before a painfully early flight. The panicked search through rainy streets ends with relief when the runaway pup is found at a neighbor's home—but it's just the first challenge of many. Bobby perfectly captures that stomach-dropping feeling of potential disaster, comparing it to "when the teacher hands you your paper face down."

Things escalate dramatically at the airport when Tatum suddenly falls ill, leading to an emergency cleanup operation and the purchase of a bright yellow Pittsburgh Pirates hoodie. The incident sparks a friendly rivalry as Bobby defends his response to the crisis: "You want me also to go vomit?" Their friendship endures through these messy moments, revealing how road partners take turns supporting each other through the chaos.

The tour takes them through Soul Joel's Comedy Club in Pottstown (where they're treated exceptionally well) and the Pittsburgh Improv (where audiences react in their own unique way). Bobby shares insights about the unwritten rules of touring relationships—like quietly cleaning hotel rooms without acknowledgment until the one time you forget and someone notices. These small gestures reveal the delicate balance between headliners and feature acts.

Between stories of farting on the road and accidentally calling venue managers by the wrong name, Bobby captures the beautiful absurdity of comedy life. Join him for upcoming shows with Emma Willman, Cactus Tatum, and solo dates across the country—just check the links to find tickets and witness the aftermath of these road stories firsthand.

Speaker 1:

I am opening for the great Emma Willman this weekend, the 11th and 12th of April, at the Hartford Funny Bone in Manchester, connecticut. Make sure you get your tickets and come out and see us in Connecticut and then I will be on the road. I'm going back on the road with Tatum, my dude. Cut this treat. We are going on the road. We are going to off the hook in Naples, florida, on april 18th and 19th and then we'll be at wise guys in salt lake city, utah, on april 25th and 26th and then on april 30th we'll be at the braille improv at the braille in la brea, california, may 1st oxnard. We're gonna be at levity live. May 2nd and 3rd we'll be at pasadena, california, the Ice House.

Speaker 1:

Come see us at the fucking Ice House and I don't know why I'm cussing and then come see us later in May. We will be at the Skyline Comedy Club in Appleton, wisconsin, on May 23rd and 24th and I will be headlining Cleveland, ohio. I will be doing Don't Tell shows out there, but I'm telling you about it because otherwise I can't pay my rent and my rent is going to be my car soon. So get your tickets. You know how to fucking. You know how to get tickets. I shouldn't. I don't know why I'm cussing in the intro Back to you me.

Speaker 2:

Hello and welcome back to DIS. How you speak discombobulated, quickly. I am your host, bubba J Dix, bubba, bubba, bubba, bubba, bubba, bubba, bubba. Bobby, can you get enough of me? Absolutely. There's recommended dosage and your doctor would be like none to moderate, like moderate to as low as you fucking can with hanging out with this guy. Why? Well, because his thoughts are like gunky, chunky, gross nuts. They're stinky. Hang out with this guy too long. You're going to get stinky too, so you don't. Long you're going to get stinky too, so you don't want.

Speaker 2:

Do you want to get stinky? I got it. I always just talk about how stinky I am, but it's just isn't stinky the best word, cause you can smell. You can smell it. That's like that uh, eddie Murphy joke, you can smell it.

Speaker 2:

Talking about farts, because farts are always. They're timeless. Like I was on the road with Cactus T and she like she farted while we were eating and she farted and it was like so good, it was so fucking funny that like I couldn't help but laugh. And what's crazy is I know that there are people out there that like fart and then kind of just exist and those people should be committed. And you can sit in a room full of people in all white but shit stains and you guys can all fart as if that's like a normal thing to do, which it is with laughter, that's it. This is what happens. You eat, your, you you make a fart, and everyone around you and the people who are like it's natural, it's normal, it's like yeah, we who doesn't know that I'm actually what's cool is like Tatum finally will show like chill out around me and like start farting, cause I'm like you got, you can't, you can't have a stomach ache and I bet you're like, yeah, because it probably goes both ways. No, well, I'm a boy and when we're in the car I fart.

Speaker 2:

Apparently, while we were on the road, I was in the passenger seat sleeping and she was driving, because she didn't put me on the car to drive. She also thought Pittsburgh, and we'll get into it. But so she, I'm always like you want me to help with travel, and she's like I got it. And then I'm like well, we're in the wrong place. No, no, no. No, I'm not making fun of her, but she did. She just roasted me on tiktok and instagram and I was gonna do that thing where I just liked and moved on because I just like you trust, your friends are funny and sometimes you don't like, you're like I was just with you enough.

Speaker 2:

But then I was like I want to watch it. I like it and then, fucking, I was like I'm not gonna like this because this fucking bitch is roasting me, because she, fucking, I'm all over the place. So she's, that's the podcast. So she, she's, she's farting around me, which is it's better. But before she like I don't want to. But then I fart and I was like facing away from her and she was like, oh, what's that smell? And then she had to roll down the windows and she's like you didn't laugh or nothing. I was like, well, I was like actually asleep. She's like, yeah, I guess I kept waiting for you to like laugh. I'm like, oh, no, that sucks that like that.

Speaker 2:

I got one out in the middle of my sleep and, oh, I have trouble trusting my farts in my awake life. They're like farts are hard enough to be like all right, you swear to God, you're not, you didn't bring, you didn't bring any shit with you, and your farts like no, and you're like okay, and then you let it out and you're like well, then, what the hell was it Like makes the fucking scanner? It's like be, be, be, be, like why the hell is my butt wet? I killed Tatum laughing. We were like we were walking and I go oh, dude, you remember how like sometimes I'll tell you I just got to like I'll like, cause there's a guy, josh Arnold, this joke's about like he would just like sometimes you just got to go wipe, but like huh, and, as I always say, you don't shit your pants, you shit your butt and you got a little gunk. And so sometimes I got a little gunk or so many people quit listening to this episode. I don't care. So I was like, oh, dude, I fuck, I think I have a hemorrhoid.

Speaker 2:

So sometimes, whenever like I feel like I was like oh, I feel that, and I go wipe, I think like it's a hemorrhoid, and she's like but is it blood? And I'm like no, and she goes. Then that's not a hemorrhoid, nickel. And I wasn't joking. I go what the hell is that? Then, when the hell is this anal discharge? And we almost we just both could not. We almost died, we almost fell into the street dying.

Speaker 2:

But yeah, what the fucking? And to trust it. Trust because we have those farts, like I fart, and it's hard enough to trust a fart while you're awake, but to be able to be asleep and your body's like we can probably let this out is proof that we are just. We are God's little farting miracles. Yeah, you're gosh dang right, we are. And if you're trying to hide your farts, you're hiding the light of God. God damn it.

Speaker 2:

So let that out, but not too much, not like too much, not like too much. It's still like kind of like an in-house thing, like it's kind of like whatever, like. I've definitely been in public places where you're like someone just farted and you look around and you're like, you try to like match the person's like because it it dissipates so much. It's not like someone's shoes, where you can kind of like, put your like, you can like pinpoint it with a fart. All of a sudden it's just in the room and then everyone's like who the fuck did it? It's like that spider man meme, but instead of like this, it's fucking farts coming out of the fucking room.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, tatum was fucking roasting my ass, which is fucking crazy, because we all have bad days, mostly her, but so we no. But if we're shitting on each, I gotta get her back on the podcast. We need to have another shit talk episode. I've been writing raps and sending them to her. She's broke and her feet stink too. She was born in like 2002. Yeah, they actually rip. So she's been making fun of me. So this is what happened.

Speaker 2:

I legit have the best time on the road with Cactus Tate. We have an unbelievably fun time. We're fucking dying laughing most of the time, but every once in a while life kicks in, like I drive from Austin to Houston and then we'll fly out of Houston to go on the road, and so I got to her house at like midnight last night and her husband were up. So I was like saying what's up? And we were hanging out and then all of a sudden they're like all right, well, we're gonna go to bed now, so we gotta let our the dogs in. And it's like kind of raining or whatever. It's not that bad, but it's like, and there's, they have like a porch area. They're not the dogs can like, they're not like in the water. And so I know they have three dogs and they like run in and I pet one of them and I was like whoa, you're wet as hell.

Speaker 2:

And they're like they're always wet and so they run by and I see one, two, but they have three dogs. They have three they've traced dog and I was like where's the other dog? And then they're like Kissy, and then they're looking around Uh-oh, we have a missing dog, which I was like please do that thing where you say your name one more time and they come in and they're like where the shit in heck were you? That didn't happen and I got that fucking that pit in your stomach, like when the teacher hands you your fucking paper face down. And your stomach like whenever, when the teacher hands you your fucking paper face down, you flip it and you're like, oh, fuck god, I fucking flunked, I flunked. How funny is that to be like I fucking flunked, like that's how it feels, that same pit in your stomach, because all of a sudden I was like where's your dog? And so then they, we look, and then it's like, uh-oh, not good, then the dog is nowhere to be seen. So we're like up and down the yellow street, we're like kissy, kissy, and then we finally find the dog because they like get on the app and thank God we have this, where it's like they were just, like the dog had just like there was, like it was like raining outside, and the dog had just like there was, like it was like raining outside and the dog had to try to get out. It had to want to get out, which is wild, and so it got out from under the gate and then went to like someone's house. And luckily we got to their house and they were very nice. The buffest guy I've ever seen there was, a guy came out of his thing and I was like is this guy going to eat us and his wife? And they were so sweet. They were just like here's your dog. And then they thought we were a couple because I went to with her to go, and I was like we're not. And I was like we're not, they're like what? So, yeah, we had to like, look for her dog. And then they did the thing that, like, most people do, where it's like I would do the same thing with my dog, where you're like, oh, you must be mad how much you scared the shit out of me. Whereas, like I'm like, oh, I'm remembering, like, how special dogs are, and like I was dude, I had the weight of. I started like I legit at one point, prayed and looked up and I don't pray I was like you.

Speaker 2:

I am so glad we live in the reality where there's not a fucking missing dog in a house with a child in it. That is, that is. I can't handle that right now. That's why people are like why don't you have kids? Because I don't want to fucking do any of that stuff. I don't want to have a missing dog, have a kid crying because my dog is missing, try to pay the mortgage. Oh, but they're so nice you should always sleep until 11 with no responsibilities.

Speaker 2:

So then we find the dog and they're like and they were like joking Sometimes I hope that dog would run away. It's like that's what you say and I was like I feel so much better right now. But it's also like we were talking about it. And this is what I said, cause I was like I just when I say this, I was like I don't. You guys are good people, I they're. They're great people, they take care of their dogs.

Speaker 2:

I think it's like are you ever you ever do a thing where, like, you're close to the edge of something, fall, but the person with you is like please get away from that ledge. But if you were over there you wouldn't be that nervous. I think that was what was like kind of happening is. I was like, oh, they are like a little upset because they're like we're trying to get to bed and then this fucking happens. Then the stinky guy Bobby comes to our house because they fucking, they get the earliest flights out of Houston, which we do, we do, we do, but legit, I love it, I will say, but we both we're not good at waking up, especially no one's good at waking up on like two hours of sleep. It's like we go to bed at midnight and then we both our alarms go up, so it's like 2.30 or something like that, and we both get up and we're doing that thing where you're trying to like it's kind of like it's like a thousand yard stare, but like in dreamland, where you like, where you just start moving around, you like start packing the bed. You just start like dragging the bed in the hallway. You're like, are we bringing this to the airport? And you're like no, and you're like, are you mad at me? God, that's such a stressful, fucking feeling. So then we go to the airport and then we had a great time on the road. We had an absolute blast. We got to the airport we, you know, I don't always I have fucking, I have a blast at the airport. And then we got, uh, we landed in Philly. And then we went to, uh, well, we landed in Pottstown, which is like close enough to Philly. It's between 30 and 45 minutes depending on what time you go. So we are like I looked on helium's website and Christina Mariani and and Ray Chvetny I think that's how you say his name and then I found out my buddy Spark was there.

Speaker 2:

He was the host. They had a great show at the Philly Helium. I was just so pumped to go see it. That's where I did my special with Helium back in the day, back in the day Fucking couple years. But I was also going through a drug phase, so it was a different time. Bobby, you kind of always shut the fuck. You don't even know what the hell you're talking. So we went out and saw them and they had a great show, and I love so many philly comics. I did not get to see every one of them, but there was a bunch of them I did get to see.

Speaker 2:

But I always want to see all of them and I love the staff there, and so we had a great time on the road. We had a great time in philly and then we went uh, we got food somewhere I don't remember where the fuck what we did to get food and then we were back. So we stayed in potstown and then we went to soul joel's comedy club, which there's all these comedy clubs where people like will talk it up like that's great, and then you get there and you're like it was good. It was really soul joel's fucking rips dude. I mean, as soon as we showed up, the owner, the manager, the guy run that guy joel joel and his soul were there and he's like dude, where you guys parked, I'll meet you guys outside.

Speaker 2:

Here's this, here's the green room, you can go over here. And we took we felt very taken care of and as the feature, I was like put also on the website and they printed out like my headshot and the one I like, and they were like go ahead and sign this and we'll put you on the wall and like there, there is something about that. When you're on the road, you kind of always feel like you're getting forgotten about, and so whenever you feel like there's like a club that cares about you or takes a vested interest, that's fucking feels really nice. And then, uh, yeah, dude, they were just awesome and we were all getting along so well. And then at one point I was like talking fast, I go, I'm so sorry, I'm talking fast, I go, let me go set up merch, because no, no, I gotta, I gotta go do something too. He's like no, you're great dude. And so we got along and I go set up merch. And then I realized I forgot like a change bag which is like just fives, ones, tens and stuff like that for when people want to pay for cash for merch instead of card. So then I like it happens at most comedy clubs, but I was like I always feel bad asking for it and this is like it's like his name on it, it's like it's like his name on it, it's like all this stuff. So I felt like I was like I don't know how to explain it, but I was just like, hey, can I get? Like you know? And they were like, yeah, no problem at all. And they bring it over and cactus does so well in merch that I literally had already given a guy a shirt and told him he can, I'll bring him change. And, like he, I was like keep your money and the shirt, I'll come up to the front and do that before the show starts. So I run up front, give him his stuff. So as soon as they give me the change because I didn't have money to break I was like I don't have any cash. I got to circle around the entire club and give him the $100 back. And he was like that fast and I was like that fast and he came back and while I was selling merch he just like came over the side and he goes. I really love your energy and it just it, just really it feels good that like he took care of us and then someone had left a notebook and he messaged us and made sure it wasn't ours. It just it felt very, very, very loving. So I cannot say enough.

Speaker 2:

Potsdam, pennsylvania, soul Jewels Comedy Club you do have to check it out, and I'm not just saying it because we got booked there. Um, yeah, that place ruled, but I, yeah, fuck it. I do feel lucky. And then we went to um the pittsburgh improv and that show was great.

Speaker 2:

I will say amanda the host she did say this to me and she was right. She was like you're gonna go out there and do your jokes and they're gonna laugh. They'll laugh like uh, they'll go huh at one part of your joke and then they'll be listening and you'll be like I guess I did all right. And then as soon as you leave, they're all gonna want to take a photo with you and be like you were so funny and I she was, she hit that nail right on the hammer. You'd be up there and I at one point was like joking with them. I'm like do you guys know how much you suck right now? You're being so quiet and then you're like I guess I'm not doing good. And after the show, the amount of people that were like loved every second of it. She was like that's just how it is.

Speaker 2:

We don't know, but yeah and then the manager, chris, was awesome. I fucking kept calling him paul. You ever I'm pretty good with names, like I'll be. Like like when we were at soul joel's, I there was like, because it was joel, lauren, jessica, there's other people I can't remember everyone's name but everyone was so sweet and nice helping us out and I walked up and I was like, excuse me, lauren, she was, you remember my name, and I'm like we're, we try, you know, like I try to talk to people because I've I've been hanging out at comedy clubs and I've seen like I've seen people treat like the staff, like assholes, and I just never, you never, want to come off like that. So I kept calling him Chris, but he didn't correct and I felt bad. And then at the end of the week, all of a sudden someone like I don't remember why, but I realized it was Chris and then I I messaged him. I was like, hey, I kept calling you Paul, I'm so sorry, chris. And he was like hey, it's all good, john, but that's actually my middle name, so it's pretty close. But I just I don't know, man, I'm fucking. We are so lucky.

Speaker 2:

We had a great time on the road, it was a quick turnaround and then and then we go to the airport and there's a lot to this story, there's for sure. You know I'm not the hero in this story. There really are no heroes in this story. But I will tell you if you shit on me, I will fucking drag your name through the mud. Tatum, I swear the fuck to God. Cactus Toot, I swear. She says that I was like somehow just giving her a weird look and not helping when she was throwing up all over herself. I would like your honor. Here's my side.

Speaker 2:

I see a friend go down a Hill and I didn't see her. I just see her go down the top of the Hill. At the airport there's like these benches and we were at an airport and we're like let's go sit down there and we go to slit and I didn't see that Apparently she had slipped. I didn't see that apparently she had slipped. I didn't see this. So she had slipped and I was trying to get down there and I also almost slipped, but I didn't know she almost slipped and then I just yell, I'm not coming down, I'm gonna hang out up here because I can't. Fucking. It's gonna. I don't want to slip and I hurt my knee. I was like I don't want to slip.

Speaker 2:

And she like waved, like okay, and I was like, all right, well, maybe she wants to sit down there. I was like, all right, well, maybe she wants to sit down there. I was like I'll just go wait up here and kind of keep keeping an eye on her. And then she I hear her yell. She's like I gotta go inside. And I'm like what the fuck's going on. So then she runs inside.

Speaker 2:

So then I go inside and I just wait for her. I'm like she's an adult, something's happening. I don't know what the hell is going on. I'm not going to run around and chase people. And so I just sit there and wait.

Speaker 2:

And then all of a sudden she's like can you help me? And I text her yes, what are you? What's going on? And she walks up to me and she's got like everything in her hands and she's like I just threw up all over the place. I was like what? Why? She's like I don't know. And then it blew all over me. I didn't like, if I you ever like, like it's like someone looking at you and being like I got in a car crash and you're like huh, like I'm trying to like build a thing in my head and she's like, because I also didn't see vomit, she said she threw up all over herself. You, son of a fucking bitch, not her. My storage is full. My fucking storage is fucking full. Hold on Manage. No, not now. What if I try to do this? Will this help? Let's go to HD and see if I hit record. Will we get this or will something happen? It might go off, it might go off. But we're here to try. We're trying, our trying our damnedest, our hardest, and that's all we can do.

Speaker 2:

And tatum was trying her hardest and she was throwing up everywhere. And I felt bad because apparently she said someone was like are you tatum? And she's like get fucked. No, she didn't say that. She's like kept running. But she comes up to me and she's like what do you want me to do? And then, like also, when she says that to me, she starts setting everything down and I'm like what do you? Are you okay? Like did you just throw up? And you feel better, like I don't know any of this stuff. And then she goes I'm gonna throw up again. So she gets up and throws up.

Speaker 2:

I go over to the tsa agent. I'm like, hey, this isn't great. But my friend just threw up do you guys have any like bags? I you probably don't, but do you have any like trash bags or anything like that? And she was like, oh God, sweet, she gives me the bag. I go and grab her, throw up jacket, put it in the bag, tie it up, get rid of all the air so it's easy to carry and it gets no holes.

Speaker 2:

Okay, and then go and as soon as she gets back, I run downstairs and I go get Lysol and I get Germ-X. She's taking Dramamine. I'm trying to help her and then she's like I threw up everywhere and I'm, she's like I just I don't know what I'm gonna. And I go, can I go buy you a hoodie? And she's like, fucking, I go get her a hoodie. It had a p on it and it was yellow, because that's what she was acting like fucking yellow piss dude. And so she it was pitched for pirates. So so she um, and I don't think you're allowed to say pirates anymore.

Speaker 2:

But so we go and we're at the airport and then I come back up and then she's got the audacity. Think I'm being an asshole. I can't wait till we have a podcast where we both talk about it. We're gonna going to have to have a mediator and that guy's going to mediatorately hate her. She can be fucking so fucking annoying. No, I'm kidding, I really do. We really do have a fucking blast on the road.

Speaker 2:

But this last time was crazy. And then we got home at her house at like almost nine, I guess. We get to her house and I was like they're like oh, dude, do you want to spend the night, do you want? And I was like, hey, after a lost dog, a fucking throwing up at the airport all over, people like, and a bunch of other stuff that I don't want to sound like an asshole and complain about. Like there's some stuff that I've heard people complain about and I'm like you're being an asshole.

Speaker 2:

And then it happened and I'm like I understand you now. Do you ever have that happen? That's your, that's all you know. You're always like you, fucking asshole. And then you're like oh, that's me that, oh, that's meat. That's me in the corner, that's me getting pissed off at my friend and vomit. I don't know what you want. Do you want me also to go vomit? Because it had to have been from the Domino's we ate the night before and I always tell her on the road like I've been eating pretty healthy, and she'll always like, look at me. And she's like, like you want to go get Dr Peppers? And I'm like, no, but we'll get you a Dr Pepper and I'll drink my protein powder. I spilled it all over me on the airplane too. I was an idiot. I really thought I was gonna get it in. I made a funnel. I thought it was out of the vomit bag, made a funnel, not her vomit bag. Like just used a vomit bag, fucking, ripped it open, slid it in the thing, tried to tear my protein powder in there, because I know that sounds fucking douchey, but I really need to.

Speaker 2:

I my headaches were coming from not having nutrients, I think, and I quit smoking vape. I haven't. I haven't touched a vape in not long, but it's been like two weeks or something like that. I haven't smoked a cigarette. I'd rather get back to that. Just fucking I'll bum a cigarette, like I'm going to New York tomorrow and later tonight I was like I'm going to fucking, I'll probably have a cigarette or two, but and I might even like rip a vape, but as far as like buying them or fucking being around them. That much get Bye, and I might eat my words later. I've done it before.

Speaker 2:

I quit for a year and a half, but I was just like I don't want that stress, but because that's I'm so lucky and I'm trying to remember that like I have so many dates on the road, like I'm going on the road with emma willman, cactus tate, I'm headlining, I'm having so much fun, there's festivals that are coming up, I'm going to be on. So like the fact that like all this stuff is happening is very, very cool. So I'm always like really trying to enjoy myself. But I wonder what your friends are throwing up all over the place. You're like, what the shit? Dude, what's going on? That's her in the corner. Yeah, like, dude, like and dude, I will.

Speaker 2:

I I am so good at helping on the road because I like I know that, dude, there's a lot you have to worry about when you're headlining and stuff. So it's like when you're the opener, you're not just there to do the stand-up before like you gotta do try to help. I don't know. I feel like I just was like I want to do what. Like the platinum rule treat others the way they know, that's the way they want to be treated. I thought you did golden when I was like how this is what I would want. Tell me if you want any different.

Speaker 2:

And so it's like when we go on the road, we try to like you know, you try to prep for stuff, um and plan and shit like that, but also like as the headliner, I you want, I want you, I want that person to worry less and like I am a people pleaser, but I do it like I like to do it, not if you're a fucking asshole and not if I feel taken advantage of. But tatum definitely doesn't do that like. That's why I'm joking about her being a fucking asshole, uh, but she, uh, what the fuck were we just talking about? I was talking about her being an, talking about her being on the road, the seats we had on the airplane. I fucking hate myself sometimes. Aw, man, I'm a lot of cash.

Speaker 1:

I love that.

Speaker 2:

SNL clip. What the fuck was I talking about? Mm-mm-mm. Traveling? I love that SNL clip. What the fuck was I talking about? Traveling? Got shit on me, I shit on you.

Speaker 2:

I legit can't remember. Fuck, sorry, I'm so there. I remembered it. So but as the headliner, I'm like do you want to help her out? You want to help her out. So then when we would get there, I remembered it. But as the headliner, I'm like do you want to help her out? Do you want to help her out? So then when we would get there, I would like because I always kind of overpacked but I underpacked and it felt way, way, way, way, way better. So then in my backpack I had a bunch of room and I'm like dude, why don't you give me your bags and all that kind of shit? The fucking video it just keeps stopping. It just keeps stopping.

Speaker 2:

I knew it was going to happen. It's okay, you knew it was going to happen. So this story is dumb at this point. But she, like I put everything in my bag. But I also knew she wanted her vape. So, like, I took it out of the bag and put it in my. I have like a fanny pack that I have, like that. I keep like in the front, sometimes on my fanny, almost never and later she goes oh damn it. And I go what? She goes, nothing. I put my vape and it's in your backpack and I feel so fucking I go. If only someone would have known you want to hit it and put it in this bag. She was like thank you, and then dude.

Speaker 2:

And then she said this the other day too, and I've been doing this kind of like I always. I remember like well, I went to catholic school. There are some couple of things that stick. I always remember they're like do things that are nice, but like say nothing. And when me and Tatum are on the road, like I will keep the, I'll try to like go through the rental car and like I'll run out, I'll go grab all the extra cups, clean everything up. It's like at the hotel rooms where it's like if we're both getting ready, we're getting everything. I'll clean up her stuff, I'll come in, I'll grab all the cups, the food from the night before and we were just on tour and I got so busy and she just goes. Why the hell is our room so fucking dirty? Am I wrong? And I go. She wasn't being mean to me. She just goes isn't our room disgusting? And I go yeah, this is like the first time I haven't cleaned it in, like uh, since we've been on tour, and goes that's why it's so clean. I was like, yeah, bitch. So I didn't say anything. But you fucking come to me, there's a new sheriff in town and his name's Bobby and he's fucking, fucking, fucking pissed. No, luckiest guy in the world is not pissed, he's happy, he's glad, he's feeling like a happy lad. Um, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh buh.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to hang out with Carly Ecolino. We're going to hang out. We got a little fucking date night. I haven't seen this girl. I'm so excited to hang out with her. I haven't seen her, never met her cats, I haven't seen her in fucking forever. So excited to go out with her. And then on Wednesday we were going to go out. But I think she says she has a date and so I got the farts coming out of her butthole too. So she's going to go on a date and I get to take my friends Dom.

Speaker 2:

He's a comic, I don't know how to say his last name. It's with an S. I don't know how to say his last name, but his name's Dom. I'll be tagging him. I love that guy, dom, and my friend Danny, and I haven't seen them in a couple months.

Speaker 2:

We always try to hang out when we're on the road but I get to take them out and I bought us tickets to a couple shows around New York and they don't know where we're going, they don't know which shows it is, and I'm just going to be honest, there's some fucking lineups. This is what I would be doing if I wasn't with them, but I bought tickets and I haven't bought tickets in forever. I'm going to say this they talk about tariffs and all this shit coming comedy club tickets very fucking, pretty reasonably priced. Not every single comedy club, they're all different.

Speaker 2:

Dude, I made reservations at a comedy. I don't because I don't know if I don't know if they, they probably don't listen, but I don't want to ruin it. But I was looking at comic books and I bought like a couple different shows with incredible right now, huge comics and after I checked out I was like, as a comic, I get in for free. I don't feel taken advantage of at all. So if you fucks who are like so I could come out, shows expensive, get fucked, it's really not that bad. I'm on the other side of it. It's not that bad.

Speaker 2:

You ever go try to buy tickets to a fucking concert you like, look it up and all of a sudden you're like I got an overdraft fee because I looked up going to see fucking the fucking Deftones. That's actually my friend, so I'm taking out. That's Dom and Danny their. Uh, their partners are actually going to see the Deftones and they're hanging out with me. Me, which is the opposite of I'm tone deaf, so they're coming to hang out with tone deaf and their partners are going to the deaf tones. You want to go see the shut?

Speaker 2:

up shut up.

Speaker 2:

Or do you want to see you guys ever notice how I'm fucking annoying and won't stop talking and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah? They're choosing the worst one. Shut up, shut up. God, I would kill the shut up dude. We should go sneak in the Deftones. That's what we're gonna do. Oh no, it probably will be over. I don't know why I talk out loud and don't know where I'm going with stuff, but I wish we could sneak into the concert. That would be fun to like. Sneak into the Deftones concert. Bobby, that's impossible. You can't sneak into. I've done it. I snuck into the Justin Timberlake concert. I got to flick a cigarette out of my mouth while holding the door open to the arena, because here's a little move. When someone's this is okay. This is what happens.

Speaker 2:

If you're you, first of all, sometimes you just gotta drink the liquid luck. Sometimes you gotta feel that's a Harry Potter reference. If you don't get it, I'm sorry, but basically this Felix Felices, you drink it and all your everything works out for you and for me it was. We had a show at a theater I think we were doing a Doug loves movies and we were like what? Normally these are like sold out. Where was every fucking body at the Justin Timberlake concert? And you're like all right, well, everybody. And they're like it kind of does shut down when something's here. So we go, we leave and we're like all right.

Speaker 2:

And then I was like, dude, let's go sneak into the Justin Timberlake concert. And my friends were like, yeah, right, and I go watch this. And I just had a cigarette in my mouth and just some confidence. And we were walking towards, towards the building. I see a guy come out and he's like holding a pack of cigarettes and he's got the door. So there's like we're kind of like walking. It looks like we might have, like we were in the smoking area and we're coming back. And I go, hey, buddy, will you hold that door? And he was like no problem. And so I got to like flick my cigarette and turn to my buddies, who were guys. I go ladies, you know, sometimes you roast people and you fucking they walk right by and we got to go see that.

Speaker 2:

So if you think it's impossible, it's not. I think I could. I could, fucking, I could sneak into some place and I would rather go pay to see them for sure, but not if we're just gonna go see them for a second just to say hi to our friends and then leave. But shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, dude, the deftones are so fucking good. When I was a kid them tool, those kind of I would see people wear those shirts, and so I was always. I never like I didn't listen to them a bunch, because I again, like if you saw someone at my school who had a tool t-shirt, they were always nice, but you also are like they seem kind of scary. I don't want to check it out, just like how you see like a lot of people wearing ghost t-shirts and then you look up that band and you're like that is not what I thought ghosts sounded like. I tell you what Deftones not what I thought. I'm talking out of my ass. Anyway, that's pretty much the pod and there's no video Because it fucking cut the shit out. But that's why you should listen.

Speaker 2:

And guys, join us on Patreon. We're always there on Patreon. Discombobulated slash, bobby slash. You know how to hashtag. I got links. Oh, I got links with days, so go click those. Come see us on tour, buy some merch. You're cute, I love you. Kisses, bye.