Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox

#87 The Dirt Bike Dream vs. Apartment Nightmares | Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox

• Bobby Jaycox

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Freedom calls from the wide-open road as Bobby makes a life-changing decision to abandon apartment living and embrace nomadic comedy life. After a frustrating apartment hunt culminating in a deceptive 15-month lease attempt, Bobby walks away from conventional housing altogether in favor of living out of his car while touring the country.

This raw, honest episode captures the moment of transition as Bobby prepares to leave his Austin apartment for good. He calculates that out of the thirteen months he's paid rent, he's only spent about four to six months actually living there—a realization that makes his decision surprisingly clear. With characteristic humor, he recounts the apartment hunting nightmare: misleading agents, occupied apartments being shown by mistake, and the final straw of a suspiciously long lease term that sent him literally running for the door.

The conversation shifts to his unexpected back injury (pulled while coughing—the same thing that happened during his last move) and ambitious plans for the road. Between dreams of buying a dirt bike before securing housing and reflections on creative focus, Bobby shares a surprisingly philosophical perspective on choosing freedom over stability. "Anytime I've ever slept in my car, I always just feel like I'm doing the thing I've always wanted to do," he confesses, revealing how this seemingly radical choice actually aligns perfectly with his values and aspirations.

Whether you've ever questioned conventional life choices or simply enjoy Bobby's unique perspective on the comedy lifestyle, this episode offers both laughs and genuine inspiration. Check out his upcoming tour dates in Cleveland (May 30-31) and Austin (June 6-7), and consider supporting his Patreon for just a dollar—he'll even send you stickers from the road!

Speaker 1:

I will be going on tour. You can come see me at a city near you. This weekend, may 30th and 31st I will be in Cleveland, ohio, so come see shows there.

Speaker 2:

Then the very next weekend, june 6th and 7th, I will be headlining the Velveeta Room in Austin, texas. Get your tickets where tickets are sold. If you're like I don't know where to get tickets, yes you do. And if you're like I don't, then ask fucking gpt. And if you're like that ruins the planet, no one gives a flying fuck fuck.

Speaker 3:

Hey everybody, welcome back. It's another episode of Discombobulated how you been doing. It's another turning point. A fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist. You say, hey, you can't grab me like that time. Time grabs you by the wrist, you say time. How are ya? Something unpredictable. But in the end it's guys. I hope you have a time to fuck my wife. How are you? This is the best podcast in at least America, excluding Alaska and Hawaii. Oh, that is some watered down shit coffee. I made it, though. I'm mad at myself, but good to see you. Thanks for coming back, thanks for being around. Um, I am uh excited.

Speaker 3:

I'm about to go back on the road and this will be, I think, unless something happens, the last podcast in this studio. Bobby, what's its studio? Is it a studio? It is Like an apartment, like my. This is in my bedroom. This is my. I'm looking at my bed. So, yeah, we're going to put all this in storage. Like well, where are you going to move? I'll tell you where. The open, motherfucking road, the wide, open road. Yeah, I'm gonna go. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna let the road be my bitch, or I like to pretend to be that aggressive sometimes, like I would do that sometimes with like, if a girlfriend like I'd be like, yeah, we can go to the fucking stupid whore, and they always like they're laughing before I can like say I'm joking. Bobby, are you a perfect person? No, but I am a silly bitch and nice and I don't like to be an asshole. But god, doesn't it feel good sometimes, doesn't it feel good to be a fucking dickhead sometimes, to be like, oh, I'm gonna do this and then do it. And then you realize, oh, that didn't make me feel as bad as I thought. What are you talking about specifically, bobby? I don't care what you, I don't know, but I'm going to live on the road, on the road again. I can't wait to get on the road again Because apartments are expensive as shit and I'm barely at them anyway.

Speaker 3:

I'm usually on the road doing shows or I'm out doing shows. Like I've lived at this apartment. I mean I've paid for it for about a month or about a year and a month, and I would say accumulatively I have spent four, I've like four months' time here. When you really calculate it up, probably more like six. I'm being like a fucking asshole, but like I'm never here. So then I was like maybe I should get an apartment, you know, maybe I should get one. And I started looking around and I got very discouraged because, like you would go look at places and God, isn't it the worst looking for an apartment you just like walk into a place and then, for some reason, you're like the, you greet the management team of the people that work there and you're like you all pretend as if this is how we're going to communicate in the future.

Speaker 3:

We're like hi, yes, what's your name? Oh, good to see you. You pretend that that exists and you have, like that exists for at max a 30 minute interaction, and then you sign the lease and then that's the last time you talk to each other like that. You're like Christians who get married. You're like all we want to do is get married. And then you sign that lease and you're like fucking bitch, like it changes so quick. Yeah, robert Jacobs, we're so happy to have you here. Hey, it's leaking my apartment. They're like we don't care, you know. And then they're like you're late on your payment and I'm like I don't have it. So you know, that's just what's going to happen and I didn't want to get in that cycle again.

Speaker 1:

I didn't want me and our management team cycles to link up, you know.

Speaker 3:

So I didn't want that to happen, so instead I decided to not sign any leases. But I was close. I was signing the lease and here's what happened. Here's what happened. My ears are just going to stick out. I can't have the glasses on in that. But my fuck, why are they? And I know people are like they're not, but they just look weird. It just looks like they're on, they're from someone else's head. It looks like Mr Potato Bob head. But some of us aren't watching this. We're listening to it. Good point.

Speaker 3:

So I was, I went to this place and cause I'd already looked for apartments a couple of days and I was like, let me make sure what I think I can afford and want to afford is like what I like, what the places smell like all this stuff. And I went to a couple of places I had like you know five or six of those like hi. And then I was like, all right, I'm done looking. And then I was on the road and got back and I was like, let me look for an apartment. And there's this one. That's like.

Speaker 3:

I like it because it's close to like the water. I like that. It's in Austin where I enjoy living. And so I was like, let me go check this place out, let me go check this place out. And I called and they're like, not only should you get this, we actually are running a deal and it's like 80 bucks less or whatever, than you even thought before. And if you sign right now, all this stuff, and I was like, yeah, let's go, so I get there hi and we're talking.

Speaker 3:

And then I'm like, all right, well, all this sounds very good, here's my ID, all this stuff. Can we go see one of the apartments? And we went and saw the apartments and they were, I mean, pretty perfect for Bob. I don't know why my voice cracked. I'm not scared or sad or something. I just literally got in there and the place smelled fine, because she showed me like three different places upstairs, downstairs and then like a different floor layout.

Speaker 3:

But then she almost like walked into a room that or one of the apartments and the guy was like I'm in here, so she kept messing up. She's like, oh, let's go to the wrong one. And then she would show me one and it had like a great view, like I could see this dog park, everything about it ripped. And then she was like, yeah, we actually can't get that for you. And I was like, okay, so we went back. And then she starts like saying we can't do that one, oh, and actually this one we can't do, or whatever. And then I was like I'm doing that thing where I'm trying to be nice. I'm like, well, can we, mother, fucking figure it out, because she's like bobby, I do have to get out of here at three and I'm like I also have a life to get back to.

Speaker 3:

I also don't think walking around an apartment complex I might live at to pretend to be like, oh, is that's where you guys get me? I hate that shit. So we're walking around and uh, then we get back and she's like I was like can you show me, can you? Okay, and she goes well, actually this one's available and it's close and it's like that one or whatever. And then she goes because these other two are not available. That I showed you and I go well, can you show me this one and then I'll make a decision. I even said that I was like can you show me that and then I'll make a decision right now. And I meant it because I was like I just don't want you keep telling me a different one. I don't want to get one that like faces the fucking street when I could face like a dog park. You know like I'm very much, like I feel claustrophobic unless I can see life you know what I?

Speaker 3:

mean, I'm not special in that, but I guess that's what I feel. So she's like all right, do this, and then I can still. She started to stress out. She goes bob, mr jaycox, that's where I have to stop you right there. I actually can't show you any more places. Legally, we can only show you three, and I go. Well, you also showed me two that aren't available, and one of them was also occupied, and maybe I could tell when I walked by. Maybe it looked like there was stuff on the deck, but she was going to unlock the door and I was like people do this where I live too. Let's see what happens.

Speaker 3:

And she and like she literally put the key in the guys I live here. She's like I'm such an idiot. So she went to show me around and then I was like all right, like we're inside all of our heads. This is what's crazy. Why do we do this? Inside All of our heads were like fuck you, can you take? Like in our heads we hate each other because we're getting lied to, we're wasting each other's time. I'm in agreement, I'm not trying to be like I'm better than you guys. I'm like we're all wasting each other's time. So then he's like I, he's like I can take them. She's like fucking, thank you. Then we walk to.

Speaker 3:

I think we looked at one more. I can't remember if he showed me an apartment or not, or if he's like no, he actually she did show you all three, or whatever he was doing that fucking thing. Then I was like you know what, fine, I'll sign up for the one that I did see, that if it's still available and it looks at a wall, I'll take it. And I started signing the lease and I got so much information, misinformation before, when they're like this one's available, this one's not available, oh, it actually costs this price. Ooh, actually, if you want that one, we can't get you at that rate. And then I'm signing the lease and thank God I mean I saw it, cause it's like I'm about to like do parts of the signing to where it's like getting to where it's getting very fucking official.

Speaker 3:

I'm actually freaked out that there's a Bobby Jaycox that might live in that universe that did sign it. I'm so fucking glad that I'm going to live out of my car because I went to go sign it and I looked down. I was like wait, 15-month lease, and they go yeah and I go no, that's not. Do you have a 12 month lease? And he goes well, 15 is actually pretty standard. And then I was like no, it's not. But like we both were like he's like sign the thing, bitch. And he's like I gotta get out of here. And in my head I'm like it's a year, bitch. And he goes. And that's when I started rubbing my face.

Speaker 3:

I'm like do you ever start to feel yourself like werewolfing out when you get mad? You're like you have to figure out how to use business terms and talk like an adult without being like I'm gonna fucking throw this free water you gave me. I'm gonna fucking throw it across the room. And so then I just go. You know what man I'm out. I was like call me tomorrow If you guys can figure this out. If you want me to sign a 12-month lease, that's fine, but I don't think that's very honest of you guys.

Speaker 3:

Everything I've said has been wrong. And he's like doing that thing where he's like what, mr Jacob and I was just like bye, because that's as an adult, I'm just you don't have to be like how most people in our generation grew up, where someone's like scolding you. You just have to stand there and listen. It's like we live in that world where it's like a cop pulls you over and you just have to take it. I'm like no, fuck, just no, I'm not doing that. So I left and, I'll be honest, I got sent into like a very deep, dark depression because I was like I don't know what to do. All these things are 15 months.

Speaker 3:

I don't know if I want to be living in Austin that much longer. I love Austin, but I want to. I was like I want to see the world more, like I'm not. I've been around this country more times than I actually probably even realize. Like I tell people I'm like I think I've driven this and I like I'm starting to forget where I've been. I'm such a lucky guy. So then I was like I still am not, like I'm not satiated. For years I've been like I don't want to bother people. I've stayed on some people's couches. But then I was like you know what? Why don't I just do that? Why don't I just sleep in my car? And for most of the tour I'm on the road. So on top of being on the road, I'm not going to pay for half of that. I might as well just like, save it and do whatever.

Speaker 3:

So I guess what I'm saying is sign up for the Patreon, cause I don't have a place to live. The Patreon is only a dollar. If a lot of people sign up for just a dollar, that's what you can't get there. Even the dollar stores like we don't even do that anymore. So for one, a motherfucking dollar, just sign up. You won't even know. Just sign up, you won't even notice and I'll send you stickers and fucking shit. I'll send you shit. I'll send you fucking free shit From a car. Do you want me to send you free shit from a homeless guy who's living in a car? Well, bobby, some homeless people don't. I know I live in Austin where there's one street Everyone's like are you talking about this homeless person? Eventually they're going to be like that's Bobby. That's the homeless guy, bobby, is he a comic? They're like he's more homeless than a comedian, for sure. That's what's going on.

Speaker 3:

But that was the thing is that then I decided I was like you know what I'm going to do that? And then, my dude, I literally went in the bathroom to fuck. I was like washing my hands. I think I was cleaning. I can't remember what I was doing. But I was like standing at the sink and then I started coughing and I coughed and I pulled my fucking lower back coughing and I coughed and I pulled my fucking lower back and then I was like this exact same thing happened to me the last time I moved. Whenever I moved to Austin, I was trying to move my shit out and then I pulled my back and I was like, are you fucking kidding me? But it's also like my fault. I probably been stressing myself out, and so it's like your body and your immune system, all that shit's connected.

Speaker 3:

I know it sounds like hippy-dippy, but like it's not hippy-dippy if it's true. You know Burps are all farts or whatever people say. So the. But if I hold in a burp, does it become a fart? You never know. So yeah, I'm just I'm going to be living out of the car. So yeah, some of these episodes might get like less, and then I might even go on sign up for the Patreon, less I might. Do I sign up for the Patreon? I'm like I'm not interested in Bobby if he's not posting a lot. But it's going to be harder, it's going to be more difficult, but I don't know how else to say it, this is like what I've always wanted, this is the world I've always wanted.

Speaker 3:

And if I was like working, just if I was still painting houses and doing construction and stuff like that, living in my car and not doing standup, that would bum me out. But anytime I've ever slept in my car, I always just feel like I'm like, yeah, I get to do the thing I've always wanted to do. Does it pay a lot? Did you hear me say I slept in my car? People will talk about like the like the most I've ever been paid for a show and I'll tell them and they're like are you fucking kidding me? I'm like, yes, but then, but then that, but then a lot of time without like, so spaced out. You know what I'm fucking saying is this yeah, um, but I'm just, I really am a lucky guy. I'm not like, uh, and I'm not just saying that to mask, I'm like or whatever. I'm like I am a lucky guy. I just got really stressed, but I would be. I think I would have had a bigger heart attack if I would have signed it, and I'm sure you can get out. I'm sure there's am a lucky guy. I just got really stressed, but I would be. I think I would have had a bigger heart attack if I would have signed it and I'm sure you can get out. I'm sure there's like a 24 hour.

Speaker 3:

Like I accidentally got drunk and showed up and signed up for an apartment and I didn't mean to um, and I'd be like out an application fee or whatever, but I was. I also might not have gotten the apartment. That would have pissed me off too. To sign up for 15 months and then be like, fine, whatever happens in my life happens. And then to do that and they're like, sir, you actually have a cosigner and I'm like, well, even my grandma would be like I don't think I did. Yeah, grandma, I need a cosigner. Oh, I don't even have a pen anymore, so I couldn't sign it. You live in austin, how would I? And I'm not coming to Texas. Grandma, you would love Texas, just like how I told you you would love sushi and then you did Babby. I don't like listening to people who I've already listened to and enjoyed.

Speaker 2:

I have problems.

Speaker 3:

They're all inside my head. I have problems, it's because I'm not getting a lot of sleep in a bed. I could have said cause I'm not getting a lot of sleep in a bed. I could have said cause I'm not getting head. But I'm not gross like that. I'm a man who respects women.

Speaker 3:

I fall asleep on my own podcast. Six people are listening right now. Probably that's an overstatement. Shut the fuck up. Turn person turns it off.

Speaker 3:

Um, but yeah, I, uh, I'm gonna be on the road a lot, and so then I looked at the schedule and like, once I leave, once I move out of this apartment, unless something fucked up happens, I come back to Austin to headline and then I'm gone and then, if my calculations are correct, story of the Year is going to be playing in Indiana. If I already don't have anywhere to sleep, I might go to Indiana to watch my favorite band play Bobby. Why would you do that? That seems like such a waste of money, time and resources. Well, I never get more inspired than when I watch Story of the Year play, when I watch them do backflips. They're too old. They don't do backflips anymore, but they're not too fucking old. I'll kick your ass if you fucking call them old, but they don't do backflips, but they do fucking play music that inspires the shit out of me. And I didn't get to go see them when they played in st louis, uh, recently, because I went to, uh, my friend venetia's birthday and I did have to tell her that I was like, just so you know, I said no to more gigs and going to see my favorite band than I ever and ever Like. I was like so, but I didn't. I went, I didn't, I was like, so you know you're special. I was just letting her know I'm like, you're important to me and I'm the fucking best. I'm so fucking loyal. Dude, I see all these people moving into my apartment. Oh, there's cockroaches everywhere and I know everyone says if you live in Texas, you got to get used to the cockroaches. No, I don't, no, I don't, I'm not going to live somewhere else. So I will say this If you listen to the podcast and you know me, tell me what city to come to and then give me a couch to sleep on, because I'm going to need it. I'm going to be going to New York a lot more. I'm going to be in Austin as often as I need to be, and then I am going to buy a dirt bike.

Speaker 3:

As soon as everything gets figured out, probably before I get a house, I'm probably going to buy a dirt bike, bobby. That seems so irresponsible. Have you ever seen how happy I am on a dirt bike? Watch me start Kickstarter, not the button start. That doesn't do the same, and not an electric dirt bike. I know people are like but, bobby, it's bad for the environment, so I don't care anymore. I'm going to stop. Can we all pretend? I'm going to stop pretending I care? Gpt ruins. No one gives a flying fat At all. Don't care, bobby, I care. Shut the fuck up If you're listening to this. You don't care. So I'm going to buy a dirt bike and I'm going to ride it everywhere.

Speaker 3:

God, I want a dirt bike. That's what I want. I want to live out of a I don't know what just made that sound, but it wasn't a dirt bike. But I want a dirt bike so bad. I want to get a dirt bike and I want to have it attached to one of those Mercedes vans that cost more than a house I'll ever own. I want one of those and I want a dirt bike on the back or top or however. I put a dirt bike on that bitch and I just want to drive around the country and do stand up and ride dirt bikes. Or I am at the age now where I probably would ride a dirt bike a couple times and be like I think I'm too old for this. I don't think I grew up in all my muscles that would be like helping me balance are gone and I'd be like one of those like fat people in the backyard that gets on a fucking KX-80 and jumps, tries to jump, and then they get flipped over the top of the handlebars. God, I love seeing that. I don't like watching people getting hurt, but I do love watching people think they can jump a thing.

Speaker 3:

Dude, my dad did that one time at a skate park. He was drunk and he was like skateboarding doesn't seem that hard. And then he got on it and I swear to God he did ride better than me anybody. Like everyone was like he shot the taco, like everyone was blown away. But then he got to a wall and got real confident and he was like I guess I'll just get to the top or whatever. And he fell so fucking hard that he forgot I was his kid. I was like, can I help you? He was like, get out of here, you fucking. And then he called me a slur. Can you say a slur? People are like you can't say that slur. I'm like what if my dad called me that? If my dad called me that, can I say that? If my dad called me that and it made some of my family that, can I say it? If my dad called me that and it made some of my family that, can I say it? I don't care, I don't want to say it.

Speaker 3:

So I feel like this, being the last episode, it should end with something like special or something like momentous, or something where I stand up and I reveal how little my pee-pee is, or whatever, something like that, and I'm like, on this episode, check her out. But I don't want to do something like that to you guys. I think what's just going to happen is it's going to be like the last 10 minutes of the pod. I'm going to like figure out what to say. I'm going to search my brain Can I tell you what's going to come up? And and then I'm going to end the episode and then like upload it and have like be like, look around the room and be like and like, feel all of that, and then it'll make me cry, and then it'll make me realize how lucky I am to at least be that sad you know, least be that sad, you know. Because there's like that quote where it's like misery is wasted on the miserable.

Speaker 3:

And I agree, I could write a fucking song, but I almost pulled my guitar out to write one the other day but I was like that'd be a waste of time and my back hurts so I can't really move right. Probably use your back when you play yeah, I fucking play, um. But then I thought about something someone once told me where I told them I was playing a lot of guitar, and someone who I care about very much goes wow, you're not a guitar player, you're. And I was like well, what? And they were like well, no, you're a comedian. And I've. Whenever they said that, I think they were like, I think they might've thought they hurt my feelings, but they kind of just made me realize, like the like, how far my scope should go creatively when I care about something so much like, instead of creating like this large prism of all this things that I do to focus on the ones that I'm really good at, like I used to like try to play guitar, do improv, sketch and stand-up, and then eventually I'm like, well, I'm just going to do stand-up and then I'll add a podcast, because I think you have to to be famous, bobby. Is that what you want? I think so and I'm sorry. Speaking of, I will say this when I was in New Jersey, I got to finish the show. I've never gotten to watch all of it. Zach stone is going to be famous and I know it came out like a fucking decade ago or some shit like that, but it's with Bo Burnham and Rory Scoville and it's one of the funniest shows I've ever seen and it's so good, it has so much heart and I love Bo Burnham.

Speaker 3:

I met a girl who, uh, I met a friend the other day, friend of a friend, when we were in New Jersey, and she was like when's your birthday? And then I was like, uh, like we started doing that thing. I'm like why are you trying to guess my sign or whatever? And then she's like no, when's your birthday? And I said it and I was like August 23rd. She goes, shut up, what year? And I was like 1990. She was like me too. She was like not me too, she was like I was born the day before. And then I was like dude, I think Bo Burnham was born on August 20th 1990.

Speaker 3:

And so I just want to find, and then I'm like, wait, my buddy Nolan from St Louis, is he the day after me or the day before me? Also, I can't remember if he's the 22nd or 24th, but like we got our parents were really fucking around the same and I know it's not how birth, it's not the exact nine months, but like our parents were horny around the same month ish. So 30 days come and sail, or whatever. But yeah, dude, so she was like or whatever. But why is that what I'm saying? But uh, bo burnham, I always said we were talking about him because I think she was like she that too. But like he was born a couple days before me.

Speaker 3:

So I'm always like, anytime he comes out with a special, I would like tell my friends like we watch. I'm like dude, it's so funny. I'm like, yeah, I was going to do that, but I was like I three days behind him. So it's like he literally is like a voice of a generation and he's so smart to be able to be as funny as he is and to not care about being like somehow in the limelight. Like I remember the last time I think we saw Bo Burnham, all the time he would make vines. And God damn, if he didn't make amazing vines, can I have one that's a little lighter? And it's a fucking tiny little lighter. I love that shit.

Speaker 3:

Okay, google, when was Bo Burnham born? Bo Burnham was born On August 21st 1990. I thought it was Two days before me. You know how to? I don't know how to count. When it counts, is it three or are you like two? But yeah, so then we have him, her me, oh my fucking god. And now he's turning. But yeah, so then we have him, her me, oh my fucking God. And now he's turning 35. And my friend Vinicio just turned 30. Goddamn, if we weren't singing that song all week. No, no, turning 30. Turning 30. Turning 30. He's so much more musically talented than I am.

Speaker 3:

I have to like practice music, like practicing music. I like have to do that's it like. But some people you watch them and it just comes naturally, like, have you ever got like watched a guy play a solo like there's two, there's like that guy you watch. You're like that guy was born to play guitar. And then you watch someone else and it's like not the exact same. I'm worse than both of those guys I just explained with the guitar, but with comedy, even if I'm bad, I'm still fine. You know, like I'm like that's not like. And you know, I mean there'll be guys like I've seen story of the year play a show and they'll get on stage like dude, that was awesome, like yeah, we were like a little off and I'm like I didn't know, I don't know anything. I'm a big fucking idiot. I'm a big idiot, big fucking idiot, big fucking idiot.

Speaker 3:

And it's sunday night and I don't have anything packed up because I pulled my back out and I gotta piss soon now. Um, I don't think I think all the time, but I don't think I have anything else to say. I just want to pack up my stuff. I don't want to, I don't want to, just want to be done. Packing up my stuff is what I should say. And then, uh, cactus tate is gonna come into town tomorrow early and she's gonna help me pack it all up and it won't even take that long and if my buddy ronaldo fucking texts me back. Maybe he can help me tonight, maybe he can motherfucking help me move my shit, because he said he might he's like, but maybe he's doing that thing where he's like oh dude, I gotta work. But if you were doing another day and I'm like I am doing another day and he's like caught me in a lie, yeah, caught me in a lie. Yeah, that is okay now. Okay now, cause Bob's doing it too, I like to lie. It is fun, though it's kind of cool to join you guys.

Speaker 3:

Bobby, were you always so honest before? Yeah, got me in trouble. Actually, you ever see couples still staying together. They're liars. If you're ever honest, wake up. Thought that girl was a little hot, oh cool. Why don't you go get the fuck out of my house? Okay, shit, is that what happened? No, what happened?

Speaker 3:

God just works in mysterious ways, in ways so mysterious Like. God works in such mysterious ways that, like, every once in a while you'll be like, I like know my sexual orientation, and then'll just like, be like. But what if? And I'm like, why is he? I gotta go to work, no, I don't, I don't have a job. But I don't want to wonder if I'm gay or straight all the time. Well then, maybe you're gay. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. When you're talking to me on my podcast, this guy's fucking gay. I, I love that.

Speaker 3:

I still pretend people type like this. If you're watching this sitting at a computer, that's wild. It's more like you would type with your fucking thumbs. Or if you're mad enough, you fucking type with your dick. I just want to let you know. I am typing this with my dick, fucking send. I didn't take a picture of my dick. I am typing with my dick. I'm not sure if that's right or wrong, but I'm fucking. Yeah, it looks like my phone is sucking my cock. Good night, that's the episode. Love you, bye, bye.