Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
“Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox" is a hilarious and insightful podcast that takes you on a wild ride through the mind of comedian Bobby Jaycox. With his unique perspective as a comedian with ADHD, Bobby shares his unfiltered thoughts, stories, and experiences in a way that will leave you laughing out loud and nodding in agreement. Join Bobby and his guests as they navigate the chaos of everyday life, discussing everything from relationships and pop culture to mental health and personal growth. Get ready for a rollercoaster of laughter, relatability, and a whole lot of discombobulation. Tune in now to experience the world through the eyes of a comedian with ADHD.
Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
88 Do The Wharf Twist | Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
Bobby returns to the podcast after a month-long hiatus with a delightful chaos of stories from life on the road. Recorded outdoors in Bakersfield, California—a city where "everything's on fire" and the famous nu-metal band Korn (with that backward "R") originated—this episode captures the beautiful mayhem of a comedian's touring life.
From waking up in panic not knowing which city he's in, to the surprising contentment that comes with being "literally homeless and having the time of my life," Bobby shares a refreshingly honest perspective on choosing adventure over conventional adulthood. The contrast between friends with mortgages and his nomadic existence creates a fascinating exploration of different paths to happiness.
The episode weaves through recent adventures in Cleveland (where the clubs are getting too loud for his advancing age), beach trips with friends, and the peculiar experience of being complimented by strangers simply for walking with "babes." Bobby's stream-of-consciousness style leads to hilarious tangents about microphones that have seen better days, the geography of Batman's Gotham City, and the puzzling invention of Pokéballs.
Looking forward, Bobby announces his upcoming headline show in St. Louis on June 20th, his plans to see Story of the Year perform, and his first-ever international trip to Canada—where he'll ironically be celebrating the 4th of July. His genuine excitement about these experiences reminds us that sometimes the most fulfilling life isn't found in stability, but in embracing the unknown.
Subscribe, share with friends, and catch Bobby's headline show at St. Louis Helium Comedy Club on June 20th!
I will be headlining my hometown of St Louis, missouri, coming up June 20th that's coming pretty quick. Come out see a show. I will be at the St Louis Helium Comedy Club telling jokes. Come out see a show. I love you. Here is the episode Three. Two.
Speaker 2:Hello, welcome back to another episode of DIS Combobulated. How the fucking shit are you? I have been gone for a while. I've been off this for a month and if you notice that, if you're like I've noticed you've been gone You're one of two people Me being like you gotta upload an episode. And then just this other person who cares about me and loves me very much I guess because they want to support my dreams what are you doing? Fucking? Not buying tickets to come see me in St Louis on June 20th? You should do that. But, yeah, I've been on the road so much it is impossible to upload a podcast.
Speaker 2:And I know you're like Bobby, my job's hard, yeah, I'm sure, but also mine's fun. So sometimes mine's so hard that I'm having too much fun to do a podcast. And you're like, well, you don't have fun doing this, not as much fun as fucking other stuff you can do as an adult Fucking, having fun and just fucking off. Isn't that what being in your 30s is about? It's like, if you don't have a kid, you ever, dude? I have like friends that don't have kids and I'm like, what are you doing? Like, well, we kind of got, we are like stuck and I'm like dude, I'm literally homeless and having the time of my life. Well, I mean, I don't know, maybe that one is worse, I don't know which one's worse. A mortgage makes me want to throw up, but also, like I don't know, sleeping in a car isn't great sometimes, but I haven't had to do it very much because I have so many fucking people who love me. You guys fucking love me so much.
Speaker 2:Are we recording the pod? Let me make sure that's recording and that recording. This will be the cover photo, maybe. Okay, bing bang bong, bing bong. What was that fucking thing from like a couple years ago? All right, but no, we're outside. We're in the beautiful. We're in Bakersfield, california, where Kornorn the band is from. I grew up in the middle of the country. We're more used to C-O-R-N, but out here we have K-O backwards R, lowercase N Twist, twist, twist, twist, twist. I uh, yeah, they got fucking. They went ecstatic at bakersfield when I brought up corn. Um, this whole.
Speaker 2:I will say this about bakersfield the entire. Everything's on fire. Everywhere I turn, I'm like that's on fire, that's on fire. We were I turn. I'm like that's on fire, that's on fire. We were driving there in the Uber. I was like is that a fire? And the guy was like that's how it looks sometimes in Bakersfield. Yeah, sometimes everything's on fire. Is your hometown not like that? Where I was from in St Louis, sometimes stuff caught on fire Like I've seen.
Speaker 2:I was with a group of fellas one of them happens to be in my favorite band Story of the Year and we were driving the church was on fire, which was crazy because that's where we made the music video for their last album and it was just crazy to see that on fire. That was crazy. But out here, like, multiple things will be on fire. It almost looks like they're fucking talking to each other in Lord of the Rings or whatever. The Shire's on fire. Put another fire over there. Let them know this one's on fire, it's the Shire. It's Bakersfield, pippin. And if you don't know about Bakersfield, what about second Bakersfield? Oh my God, isn't life grand. I've been on tour so long that when I, uh, when I was just not on tour, uh, just like a couple, like honestly like a couple of weeks, I was doing shows here and there, but I wasn't on tour. But this is where I'm the happiest, like I. There's something about waking up in like a panic and being like where the fuck am I?
Speaker 2:Like the other day, I woke up at my friend's house in Cleveland. And Like the other day, I woke up at my friend's house in Cleveland and when I woke up, I was like oh yeah, Cleveland rocks. Dude, we did have fun in Cleveland. Man, Cleveland outdid itself this time, because last time we had a blast, but this time we had even more of a blast. The only thing I'll say is we went out afterwards and we were.
Speaker 2:I'm at that age where I'm yawning there's EDM music around me like it's like trying to get your heart to go, and I'm just like it's kind of loud in here, right guys, it's like loud, how loud it is. It's like so loud that you can't hear what I'm saying to you. It's so loud that right now, you can't hear me and you're smiling, and then you feel bad and you go. I'm really, I actually can't hear anything you've been saying to me and I'm sorry. I actually can't hear anything. You've been saying to me and I'm sorry. I've been smiling, that's okay, that's life. That's life. That's how old people are. We get so old and we don't want to stay out late, and I'm just like, how about we go smoke, weed and do something else? Isn't that better, though you just like? I'm at the age now where I want to smoke weed and just fucking hang out. I don't want to do other stuff. I have been hitting the vape and I've been talking about quitting smoking for pretty much the entire time I've been smoking.
Speaker 2:That's what smokers do but I really am over it. I'm at that peak turning point where I'm like every time I'll hit it. Once I'm like, why did we do that? And then I'm like, well, now because I've hit it, I have to keep hitting it and that gets sucks and we're in our thirties. I don't want to do that. I just want to smoke weed, drink coffee, enjoy cities like Bakersfield and then just call it. Call it a rap, call it a rap party.
Speaker 2:You know, there's a beauty of like a Bakersfield where I'm like looking around right now. I'm like what am I making fun of it for? There's like beauty of like Bakersfield where I'm like looking around right now. I'm like what am I making fun of it for? There's like I can see mountains, I can see grass, but then once you like look at this grass, you're like it's kind of dead, like if you're real quiet, hold on, like listen to what Bakersfield sounds like, hold on, do you hear that? It's just like that's just in the air? That wasn't even me, that's just the air sings corn, which is pretty cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the guy who's like our uber driver was like you know, corn's from here. And I was like get the fuck right out of fucking town. Corn's from from here. And he's like, yeah, and we started talking about corn and he was like you know, like that music like is Bakersfield. Like when you hear I'll nestatize this bitch, I'll nestatize like there's nothing more Bakersfield than that. Like you can either be like meet me in St Louis. You can either be like meet me in St Louis or you can be like Cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks Bakersfield. Twist, twist, that is. That's, that's Bakersfield. Like. If you're wondering what the sound of Bakersfield's like, if you're wondering what Bakersfield's like, it's like that and like I said this last night at the show but everything looks like a system of a down fucking album art. Everything is like kind of crazy. This might be one of the hard.
Speaker 2:I have a joke about a homeless guy giving me my money back and this city fucking really felt that I also. Bakersfield's the only place where I say I have a premise, where I just the premise. I was just going, I'm very poor and I've never had people cheer like like we won the Stanley Cup, like they were just like. Yeah, I was like I literally go. I've never heard everyone cheer. Usually people might say that and people might give like an aww or just listen. But you guys are like we're poor. Twist, my mortgage is fucked. You wanna talk about poor?
Speaker 1:I'll fucking tell you about poor.
Speaker 2:We built this poor town on corn and shit. You say you don't twist now. Okay, okay, call into the wharf. Listen to the radio wharf, anyway. Click, click wharf. Listen to the radio wharf, anyway, click, click wharf.
Speaker 2:That's where I was before bakersfield I've been all over, I uh went and stayed with my friends in uh new jersey and for our friend bambi's birthday, we went to the wharf. And god the fuck, damn if I don't live for a wharf now, if Bob doesn't love and live for a wharf, what's Wharf? What is it good for? Wharf? And leafy nook, twice it again. You all Wharf, wharf, yeah, god damn, what is it good for? But we went to the wharf and that was fun. We went to the beach and god damn, I'll tell you this, I highly recommend going to a beach with some babes.
Speaker 2:I've always kind of like. You know, I've been a guy that's like. You know, I might date like a babeette. It doesn't sound like she's like younger, it's not like I meant like she's like babe adjacent. You know, I might date like a babeette. It doesn't sound like she's like younger, it's not like I meant like she's just like babe adjacent. You know, does that make sense? Beautiful babes.
Speaker 2:But when you go like with some like babes to the beach, bro, you have such a different experience. We were literally walking and a guy said to me he goes nice, job, man. I was like what? And he, like, pointed at the girl he goes nice and I was like I he like pointed at the girl he goes nice and I was like I'm pretty much gay, yeah, it's just fun. I've never felt like I've had a good set and that's been fine. I've had been in good relationships and people see that and you have been happy.
Speaker 2:But just walking with some babes at the beach, people literally like tipped their hat to me as if I accomplished something which I did. The world of friendship. Just walking with some babes at the beach, people literally like tipped their hat to me as if I accomplished something which I did. The world of friendship, the rock and roll of friendship at the wharf oh my God, every place should have a wharf. Just a little fucking wharf where you fucking a wharf off. You're like, hey, you got to go home to the old Balden chain. I'm my wharf.
Speaker 2:You know this podcast is for literally fucking six people, for this episode specifically. But in Bakersfield we were in Cleveland. I had fun hanging out with my friends Connor and Grace and a bunch of other friends I don't want to name names Because then I'll forget people and they'll feel left out Like Bobby, we don't listen to your podcast. Then how did you know to say that to me just now pretty much farted directly in my coffee and had a little bit of shit. Maybe come out that feeling after you fart and you're wondering what it was had to feel like whenever they used the atomic bomb for the first time, like going into it, like this can't, what's the worst thing that could happen? And then you just do it and you have sunglasses on and you're like what have we done? Someone needs to write a poem about how deathly destructive this death time is. Death marches on.
Speaker 1:A carry wharf.
Speaker 2:It's so crazy. I might be talking to you and there might be shit in my asshole right now, but I didn't shit my pants. I might have shit my butt. No, that one, if it is, is probably in my, it's fine. It's fine you freak out more if you know. No, everything's just dry back there, but my microphone stinks. My microphone smells like fucking the inside of my fucking fart.
Speaker 2:I had a buddy that I worked with at sports authorities, guy justin, and he was so funny and one time he came behind me and I was like I was like leaned, like this and if you're ever like leaned, like, if you're ever like this, like doing something, if you come behind someone, put just literally no pressure on their shoulders because everything is so forward, like you, you're gonna, you're gonna fall, fucking you're gonna fall. And so my buddy came behind me and did that, and as I did it he had like farted at the same time, but it was silent and so I fell back and I went what is that? And he goes I'm inside you now and I never really thought about a fart like that. I laughed so hard that I was like what he goes like I farted and it was in me and you breathed it in and now it's in you and I was like holy shit, dude, justin, you're so fucking right. Shout out, justin Leonard.
Speaker 2:Dude, that guy is fucking smart. He also, justin Leonard, is one of those guys. He was like I don't know, maybe red, we'll say redneck, I don't know how to say it or whatever. He wasn't like, he's like, he just like did old school shit. You know, like one time my buddy was like hey, do you have any contact solutions? I was like you've never seen me wear contacts. Let me go that. I keep it in my house in case douchebags who forget theirs or anyway. And so the guy was like well, I can't, I need to take my contacts out. I was like, well, I don't know what to tell you. This guy was a fucking idiot. And then Justin Leonard goes dude, just dude, just chug a Dr Pepper in the morning. And we both looked at him like I don't have glasses or contacts, what are you talking about? And he was like I do and I don't know what you're talking about. He goes no, you sleep with them on and it's not good. But then in the morning you chug a Dr Pepper and then, like it makes my eyes water. Good to go, it's the Dr Pepper challenge, just being like, do you need to take your contacts out before they tear your corneas apart? You know, these are just things you don't know unless you know Justin Leonard, which is pretty cool, god, I loved, I did love growing up with dudes like that, like I think that was the same guy that said I could be wrong.
Speaker 2:But I said I got a couple buddies like this that he's like had one of those big fast trucks that like blew black smoke, you know Diesel. But he had like like one of those trucks and he said he was like one time I was going, so I was driving so fast, and then a girl was like he was getting ahead, I guess, and then he goes. I came and he's like dude, I came for like a quarter mile, like he said it. Like he said it like fucking Vin Diesel in in Fast and the Furious, I'd come a quarter mile at a time. When you're here, you're family, the only thing that matters is the family and the war. I don't know how to describe it, but that truck, it struts and everything had some fucking dude. That thing looked like it glided.
Speaker 2:Bobby, what are you talking about? I don't know. It's kind of hot. I'm starting to realize that and I'm like, well, you had to do your podcast, didn't you? You've been gone for a month. Make sure you come back in high spirits. I really am having so much fun.
Speaker 2:I'm going to go do shows in St Louis on June 20th, then on June 21st I'm going to see Story of the Year. I can't wait to do that. Oh, and then on Sunday, on Father's Day, we're going to go fucking see Nikki Glaser because she is going to be in Florida and we're flying into Florida that day, so I get to go watch my dad do stand-up. She's not my dad, she's just that important to me if that make sense, like how a dad would be important to you. That's how important she is and someday y'all die. It's such a good song, such a fucking good song. I get a text. God damn, can we hang out with her and can't wait to see her. And then on June 21st, going to see Story of the Year in fucking Portage Indiana. I can literally not wait. I texted someone and was like can I go? And they were like no problem. I was like let's fucking go, so I'm going to go headline and then just going to go straight there, I guess, and then go watch them play. God damn, I can't wait. They're playing with the Plain White Tees. It was Theory of a Dead man and another band I couldn't remember. Like some of these bands, I like Story of the Year, but it's not like I know all of those other bands, I just like Story of the Year, if that makes sense, and Theory of a Dead man. We had to like look up one of their songs.
Speaker 2:She's a bitch, get her out of town or whatever. She's a bitch, get her out of town or whatever. She's a bitch, but she's getting divorced or whatever. Hey, I can't wait to meet you guys and see you. Hopefully I am not making fun of you guys. You guys make music and it's great, but don't you tell that she's a bad, bad girlfriend. But my girlfriend, I fucking forgot to get me Nutella from the store. It's just funny to me, sorry I am, I apologize. She's an alright girlfriend. Now that's different.
Speaker 2:That would make me cry. I would literally. If I got to see Korn play, I would literally cry. I've cried seeing Senses Fail Story of the Year. They've like caught me crying, which sucks, because the only time it makes sense, like I've seen like someone meet nicki glazer and cry like after the show that makes sense, but like during their show they're laughing. And with rock and roll you're supposed to be like partying. So like the fact that, like they've seen me be like just tears stream as tears go streaming down your face when you lose a wharf and you can't replace dude, I will say this please send me any song on your like. You can just record it on your phone and you record any word with wharf or twist, and I promise it makes it a thousand times more fun. Me and my friend uh venetia were doing that on the drive back. We couldn't stop stop. It was literally all click, click wharf. I'm coming down with the wharf now, click, click, wharf. Alright, everything's still recording, so that's good and everything sounds good.
Speaker 2:I'm so nervous because I don't ever record like this How's that sound? How's that sound? Sounds fucking good, honestly, and it looks good. She's a bad, bad war friend, god, but I get to. Yeah, luckiest guy ever, luckiest guy ever gets to go see story of the year on the road, god. And they're so much fun. And here's the thing when they're headlining they're fun too, but they're kind of like me, I think they, when they open, they're like dude it's, we show up, we do our show, we fucking kick ass and then we fucking hang out and party. So I'm really excited to go see this. And then I'm going out to New Jersey, new York, and then coming back to Houston. I'll be staying with Tatum for a couple days because we have to really prepare, we have to get merch and stuff together, because we are going to Canada. I never thought I'd be homeless going to Canada. I'm so excited. I've never been out of the country.
Speaker 2:I tried once during COVID and I took a test but it expired. So then I took another test and it was like a lapse in when it came in. So then they were like we really can't let you go in. And then they turned me around and the American guy was like well, you're in there for four seconds. I was like I tried to go longer there. Yeah, what would you do? I'm like can you fucking let me back into my own country? I feel like when your dad's like show, he's like all right home late, I'm like fucking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm already. What are you? I'm later, if you don't get it off being an american's hard, I'm playing an american dude ever think about sometimes I'll think about being an american. And we're actually going to be in Canada on the 4th of July, which is going to be so wild. We'll try to celebrate and quietly. I don't know if we'll get arrested or whatever, but you like, you'll see.
Speaker 2:They'll show us other countries and I've never been to them and they're like, look how poor it could be. But do you ever? And watching us wait for something to download on our phone and being like I'm sorry, it's never like this, I'm just trying to get on the airplane, whatever. And other countries are actually like, and if you're like, well, I've been to another country. Have you, did you actually circumnavigate the world and know what the fucking globe looks like? Bitch Cha-cha, thanks for watching. You ever seen that video where someone who is like potentially a drug addict, former possibly drank water? Like I just drank water and I remember seeing that video. I'm like, oh my God, you really should just be drinking water all the time and I just did that and I feel like none of it went well. You ever like throw water on sand and it just goes away.
Speaker 1:God, I'm going to get sick, but not in Canada.
Speaker 2:I hope. I hope I don't get sick in Canada. That's not how they talk there. God, I can't wait to go to Canada. Can't wait, I'm going to do every. What is Canada? What's Canadian, besides talking with the top half of my head off? Yeah, everything I know about Canada is from television, from South Park and shit.
Speaker 2:But they have weed up there, which is nice, right. If you're from Canada, please let me know. Do you guys have fucking weed? And then, like I don't know what kind of food Do you have special food? But I also don't care about that. So who cares?
Speaker 2:But then I want to go see stuff. But I think it's the more west you go is where it's like beautiful, like east coast is more like city right, and then we're going to be kind of more in like the right middle, so that'll be cool, but I don't know what there is to do there. I know, like about vancouver island, because that's where I was like on vancouver and vancouver, that's where I was going to go, like rent a motorcycle and like ride, ride around, and then they're like we are so sorry, we can't let you in the embassy there or whatever was beautiful. Letting you into Canada was so nice. And then you turn around and it was literally like a Zach Galifianakis character in a booth and he's like what, I just want to get back inside. He's like, well, you gotta prove you're American. What is a president? And I go.
Speaker 2:I don't know, he goes. That's not bad, get the fuck in the country. That's what I want to start dipping to. It's just like other guys go one big spit and I just want to keep spitting. Thanks, man, dude. That chick over there has got a nice rat. Everyone turned off the podcast already. Your engagement seems to drop immediately as soon as you start the video. It's almost as if someone was watching another podcast and then this one came up and they're like get the fuck, I'll just turn it off. I'd rather turn it off and not need it than need it and not turn it off.
Speaker 1:Fuck.
Speaker 2:She's a bad, bad girlfriend. I did that at a show the other day at the Vella. I went in and put the whole microphone in my mouth Immediately, regretted it Like dude, have you ever smelled a microphone? A Comedy Club microphone, bro?
Speaker 2:Oh my God, just people doing bits with their asshole, with their dick with their fucking pussies with their fucking back, any crevice, that you're like I've never seen a microphone go there. And Like I've never seen a microphone go there. And then I put it. I'm like, well, I've never seen it go all the way in my mouth. But I'm only. You know, I can't make fun of those people, I'm only. The only reason I thought it was funny to put it in my mouth is because where everyone else has put it before them, so they actually were the trailblazers before me. So thank you for doing that, thank you for putting the microphones on your assholes, on your pussies, on your fucking armpits in an audience, member's hands dropped on the ground, spun around your head, and then for me to just show up and fully put it in my fucking mouth.
Speaker 2:Bobby, are you gay? A mouth isn't gay. Well, if you put a dick in there, it is. That's not what this is. It's shaped like a microphone and I don't know why it made me rock fucking hard. I don't know. I can't get enough. It's your hard wharf. It just does something to me. It sends a twist right through me. I can't get a wharf. And if you wharfed her about the twist I'm under, oh, it's your wharf. I said it's your war. I say it, it's your war. Well, that's almost the podcast. I was literally ready to end it, but it's only been 26 minutes. Why are you ready to end it so fast? Just don't do the podcast. It's just hot out. It's just hot out. It's just hot out. Let me make my muscles look big.
Speaker 2:This will be the cover one I kind of look right now. What I look like is a guy trying to invent a Pokeballs, being like do you see these Pokemon? I'm like, yeah, but you can capture them like this. Well, you couldn't do that. No, do you see any Pokemon? I'm like, yeah, but you can capture them like this. Well, you couldn't do that. No, but you literally it's electricity holding them like a little Pokeball, like no, listen, because if Pokemon are like that, there had to be Pokemon that were out and there's not. Like they were always getting caught and catched. Right, gotta catch them all. Who caught the first one? And then a guy just like because a guy like I remember there was probably Pokemon and then he probably picked one up like Pikachu and he was like oh, and he like shocked him, he put him down and he was like dude, do you have them for a second. He was like, yeah, because of electricity. I kind of bound to him Because of the electricity. It made me fucking. I about the war. If I'm under, I wonder if I have to spell them. It's your love, I could probably catch a Pokemon. Who invented Pokeballs?
Speaker 2:Do you ever look up stuff like that online? You'll be like look up Pokemon facts and the internet will show you facts and you're like, well, those aren't facts. Just so you know. The internet should tell you that. You're like facts about Pokemon. But then you'll be like facts about the war and you're like we don't really know about that.
Speaker 2:Facts about Batman. You got it, dude. He was born in Gotham. What state is that? New Jersey, really, fuck Batman.
Speaker 2:I'm doing a new bit about that, but I think it's so funny to like Batman. I don't like him anymore. He's trying to save New Jersey. It's like the worst state to try to it's. You can't save that state. Like if he was like I'm in Gotham, maryland, and you're like, okay, you can probably. It's like the regions New Jersey. You're like I'm in Atlantic city, trying to be like this town is so fucking corrupt and it killed my parents.
Speaker 2:What to tell you? I don't know what to tell you, batman. I wish I was Batman. Be fucking sitting like this on a ledge just being like this town's so corrupt. They've had every kind of Batman except for the Bobby kind of Batman. I just want to guide stuff. They're just being like I'm bored. I'm bored, so I'm Batman. I'm just no, there's no crime right now, so I'm just like I don't know. Do you want to do some crime? And I'll battle in your freaking feet, commissioner Gordon. You, where are they? No, seriously, where are they? You didn't split them up, did you? Joker? Two-faced joker dude, I would love to be and it's just be my batman, just like this town is so fucked up. Oh wow, I would just be dressed as Batman, fucking gambling Dude.
Speaker 2:If I was Batman, I'd go out and fight a guy and I'd be so tired, I'd feel so cocky and be gambling. They're like are you Batman? I'm like yeah, how'd you guess my ears are boingy? I hit my ears and they go my cape fucking stinks. You sit by me and you go yeah, yeah, it's really hard to wash a leather cape. I don't even know, because I can't take it in, because I don't want people to know who I am. So then it just has to stink. Yeah, I'm Batman and I fucking stink. Oh, my name is Bobby. I mean Bruce, I mean I'm Batman, I'm Batman, that's my Batman, I'm Batman, I'm Batman, that's my Batman, I'm Batman. I got all the first criminals locked up and they're like who did this? And I'm like, my been Batman, my been Batman. Might have not been Batman, but you know who it could have been for sure, batman. All right, love you guys. See you later. I got to go. I got to go. Smoke pot. Love you, kisses.