
Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
“Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox" is a hilarious and insightful podcast that takes you on a wild ride through the mind of comedian Bobby Jaycox. With his unique perspective as a comedian with ADHD, Bobby shares his unfiltered thoughts, stories, and experiences in a way that will leave you laughing out loud and nodding in agreement. Join Bobby and his guests as they navigate the chaos of everyday life, discussing everything from relationships and pop culture to mental health and personal growth. Get ready for a rollercoaster of laughter, relatability, and a whole lot of discombobulation. Tune in now to experience the world through the eyes of a comedian with ADHD.
Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
91 The Luck of the Parking Garage | Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
Travel disasters have never been so entertaining! When my carefully measured carry-on luggage wouldn't fit in the overhead compartment and I spilled an entire coffee on the airplane floor, I knew this week was destined to become podcast gold. During a seven-hour Atlanta layover, I'm spilling more than just coffee—I'm sharing the beautiful chaos of life on the road.
This episode takes you from Philadelphia casinos where my friends and I tested our luck at roulette tables (minus the alcohol they stopped serving right when we arrived) to an unexpected magical sunset moment in Brooklyn where gratitude hit me like a ton of bricks. The comedy lifestyle isn't just about stages and laughs; it's about finding joy in parking garages, fighting with hotel staff who walk in while you're naked, and celebrating when your buddy hits their lucky number despite your own empty pockets.
Between tour announcements and travel mishaps, I'm reflecting on what makes this chaotic life worthwhile. When you're watching the sun set over Manhattan after surprising your comedian friends at their bookstore show, you remember why you chose this path. Despite the spilled coffee, missed connections, and occasional hotel disaster, there's something beautiful about collecting experiences across the country with friends who'll drive hours just to see your show.
Ready for more adventures on the road? Come see me live! All tour dates are on special sale now at bobbyjcox.com as I prepare to head to Canada. Bring your lucky numbers and let's make some memories together.
I'm going on tour. You can come out and see a show. You can come out and have some fun and see a show. Where can you see us? You can see us July 25th, 26th and 27th. I will be opening for the one, the only Cactus Tate.
Speaker 2:And then on July 31st through August 2nd you can see us in Bloomington, minnesota. Next page.
Speaker 1:Minnesota, next page.
Speaker 2:And then you can see us, me and Cactus Tate, august 6th at the Improv in Milwaukee, wisconsin, and then on August 7th, you can see us at the Chicago Improv. It's Schaumburg, though, so I think that's a little different. Everybody's close to me if you're not from there.
Speaker 1:And then I will be headlining on August 8th and 9th at the Blue Room in Springfield, missouri, four shows. Come out and see a show. Been doing shows there for years. Come out and see a show.
Speaker 2:You can also come out and see us August 10th at Royal Oaks, Michigan. I will be on the road with Cactus Tate.
Speaker 1:And then August 21st, 22nd, 23rd we will be back in Canada. We will be at the House of Comedy in New Minster, British Columbia. So confusing to me, British Columbia, but you get it.
Speaker 2:All right. And then come out and see me at the funniest person in Austin the semifinals. The next round of semifinals in Austin on August 27th. Come out and see a show. I have more shows coming out.
Speaker 1:I have a bunch more shows. You can see me in September. You can see me September 14th at the Raleigh Helium.
Speaker 2:You can see me September 28th at the Portland Helium. Get all your tickets. Wherever you get tickets, you know how to get tickets. Here's the episode. I can't wait, fucking Aaron.
Speaker 3:Give me my coffee. Give me my coffee, welcome back, welcome back, it's another episode of Discombobulated.
Speaker 4:It's the podcast that you're probably listening to for maybe the third time and you're like I'll give him one more fucking try.
Speaker 3:And if he, fucking doesn't make me laugh, then I'm going to turn it off. Or if I listen to him and he's just going crazy, did he just put his fucking whole foot into a big pile of bird shit? Who knows, it could be gum just covered in tar. You're just hoping that's what it is.
Speaker 4:yeah, being bobby is so fun, put your foot in shit. Everyone fucking goddamn it trying to turn these planes down. Well, we are here. We're back with another episode of the podcast, that is it's it's critically acclaimed. It's there's critics, that'll be like. You don't have to make it this fucking long.
Speaker 4:You know there'll be. There's like critics that are like you know, what you should do is focus on getting like a real job, and you're like get fucked. Um, but I am, I'm in Atlanta, I have a layover, quite possibly the longest layover I've ever had. But and I'm not complaining and I'm also not doing that, I'm not even being sarcastic, I'm not complaining. I'm really not complaining Cause I never really do that too much. Um, I mean, I do complain, I don't. I don't like have layovers that much. So it's like you have one layover. You have to be in Atlanta for like such a long period of time that you're like where I go, do my podcast, and then you walk around the airport and then you kind of start getting like scared. You're just like how the fuck do they airports are so big and like if you, and then you see it from above and you're like we're like little ants who bite. Um, so I have a fucking seven hour layover here.
Speaker 4:I had to eat at the airport, which I usually don't like to do because it's so fucking expensive. And then you also have to like wait and there's no chefs there, there's just everything's just getting put in. Why don't they just? Can you just give us microwaves? Yeah, we're already doing self-checkout, we're already like doing everything for you. How about you just fucking overcharge us and then give us a fucking couple microwaves, put them right under the seat? I want to like, I want to be sitting at my gate and I want to just be waiting there. I want to charge my phone, and then I want to get a fucking hot pocket and I want to put it in between my legs. Slam the microwave door shut and then you want. And then you're like will there be numbers?
Speaker 5:There won't be numbers, cause you know someone will get like fucking. They're like. They put it on for 10 minutes and I fucking exploded.
Speaker 4:I killed everybody but it's not like that, I just want to. You just have like a little microwave, put your hot pocket in. You're sitting for your flight, you know. You kind of go to sleep and then you know hit the hot pocket button Cause again we've kind of went over that there's not going to be numbers on it Hit the hot pocket button and then you kind of go to sleep and all of a sudden ding, wake up oh, eat hot food. You don't have to wait in line, you don't have to be. Excuse me, pardon me, fucking sorry. Oh yeah, many, many ways, move on with your life, but I did have a bad—I usually have good experiences whenever I'm flying.
Speaker 4:There's not a—like I've never had like the cliche things, like people are like there's a baby crying on a plane, and I've had that and you're just like oh cool, thank God I have AirPods or thank God. I can just realize that. Like, who said that? There was like a guy? He said it perfectly. Of course I can't think of his fucking name. He's such a Nick, oh, I don't like that. I can't think of his name To give the credit where credit is due. But he kind of had that joke too. He was just like I'm just like an adult with, like a regulated like. Basically it was like an adult with, like a regulated nervous system. So I can just handle that. There's a baby crying on a plane God, the baby won't shut up. Yeah, its ears are popping and it has no fucking idea what to do about it. So, anyway. So, uh, I've never really had anything crazy crazy happen Like that. I can, that at least I can think of right now, you know, and then.
Speaker 4:But today was today. All of them happened. Today I got to the airport and, uh, like I pay for clear but don't pay for it, cause it's the same exact amount of time and you don't get like any special privileges. Sometimes they're like dude, take your pants off. Like sometimes they make you like do more than they do in the other line. You still get padded down. And then every time you think about how much money you spent to be like I want to be better than everybody, and then you're fucking not even You'd love to be better than everybody and you pay for it. And then you go with a friend and we both go through meet at the same time. That seems fucking crazy, bobby. It also seems crazy that you would without looking in shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the airport.
Speaker 4:But here's what happened. So I get to my gate and I have here's. I just bought this luggage. I just bought this luggage and when I bought it I asked ChachyBT. I fucking read the site of it.
Speaker 4:I fucking went on like websites to make sure that that's the right size. I was like I want to get the right size, so I'm never bringing my thing on the like. Actually, sir, it's like a centimeter over, so we have to throw it away. So I didn't want to do that. And so I got the fucking size. And am I wrong? You're supposed to be able to expand it? I have, I don't know. I don't know because I've expanded it on every other fucking plane I've been on pop. Are you just gonna come? It's getting good promise. So I put the fucking thing up top and could I tell it might not be able to close. No, but did I sit down and see like that they couldn't close it and then just kind of listen to Slipknot While they're like two, like stewardess and stewardessers Like and I'm just like Fuck, fuck, fuck me up, fuck me up.
Speaker 3:They're trying to get my attention. I'm like pretending, I'm like looking out the window and I'm just like Because I know what they're going to do, because they do all that shit, they do that thing where they're trying to get my attention.
Speaker 4:I'm like pretending, I'm like looking out the window and I'm just like, because I know what they're going to do, because they do all that shit, they do that thing where they're like sir, you have that strap to one around you. You're actually only supposed to have two back. Okay, cool, let me put it in my bag and then put it back right around here, because all my pills are in here. Oh, they are of me. I identify as part of this fucking bag.
Speaker 4:So, it's my chargers and whatever. So I get to the fucking, I get to the airport, Um let me make sure this is fucking recording.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it is, um, it would just fucking piss me off if it was. Um, it would just fucking piss me off if it wasn't. So I get on and they can't close it. And then so she's like, oh, we're actually gonna have to put it underneath and I'm like, well, we can't, because there's batteries in there, like my podcast equipment, like she's like what kind of batteries on it? I'm like I don't bees, I don't bees nuts, I don't know like they're, just they're batteries. And I don't bees nuts, I don't know Like they're batteries. And she's like, are they lithium ion? You know what? I'm going to stop pretending I know things.
Speaker 4:I don't know that one, bobby. It's the ones that are like in computer. Okay, cool, is this a fucking computer? Is this, is it computing? I don't know, bobby. How do you know that? You know what? I don't have to know everything. You don't know any of the shit I know. You don't know what story the year was called before. It was Big Blue Monkey. So you don't know that. Not everyone has to know things. Why is it more important that you know the one? Oh, because there's batteries everywhere. Shut the fuck up and back the fuck up Before I fucking throw these batteries at your. I'm spicy, um, so yeah, so anyway. So they couldn't shut it.
Speaker 4:And then they're like she starts like being like, hey, can you like do this? Can you do that? Like, can you like consolidate it? And I'm like I can. There's like no room in my bag. And she was like, well, we have to put it underneath and we're about to go to canada and like, literally the the all the clothes I own on the road are in this bag, and so if I get there and then when we go to Canada I have to buy all new clothes, would that be hilarious? Sure, is that how I want to spend my first fucking day in Canada? Absolutely not. So I was like you know what? Let's not put it up front, can we put it down? And honestly, we were both nice to each other. I was being nice, she was being nice. You could tell we both didn't want to do this, but it felt, hey, shout out, frontier. You were being nice.
Speaker 4:So then I like figured out how to do it and I like shut my bag and then I have to put it in my other bag and I have a hot coffee. And man, thank God they have those carpets, but I'm going to be honest, I don't really want to put my bag down there anymore, cause now I know how much coffee spills and they don't. If you ask for a towel and hit the button and everything, they'll just keep being like did you get everything you want? You're like I didn't get that towel. I'm going to be back with a towel. So they were nice, but they didn't give you. They don't. As far as there ran out, you can have a sip of mine if you want. Like that's, the best you're gonna get is you're gonna get like a stewardess. That's like no, no, no, we're out. But if you want, you can have a. You can have a glug of my coffee. I don't care.
Speaker 4:I don't give a fuck um, anyway, yeah, I'm rambling today, but I'm also fucking exhausted. I haven't really slept, because that's how.
Speaker 5:That's how I like it that this is a song about barely sleeping. Your alarm goes off. You start fucking screaming Bow wow, I ain't gonna hit my alarm again and I swear to God I'm gonna punch my friend. That's how mad I am in the morning. When I'm going to fight and fly in the morning, I'm gonna kick someone's phone.
Speaker 4:Here's to you people flying, all right, so yeah. So then that happens and I spill a full coffee. And then she was like I have my backpack in my lap and then this is where I was like, trying to be kind of a jackass, I was like I'm not putting it on the floor, I'm not going to get my coffee. I know I spilled it and I don't have to. You know, it's like it's my fault, but it's also like you know, I bought a luggage. What do you want? So now I have like my luggage doesn't fit. I spilled my coffee, I'm holding my backpack, and then so they have to like put my backpack like up above.
Speaker 4:And for sure I would have. I would have like seen me and be like that fucking, just sit the fuck down, get up, get over here back. Have you ever flown before? And then instead I like came back and because I was kind of panicking, and then I started to like sometimes you can only worry about yourself. It's like we're wired like that.
Speaker 4:And then I just like realized that there's a lady sitting behind me and maybe it could have flown back like like the water, the like coffee could have like went back to her. So I like turn around, I was like I'm so, did any of that coffee get on you or whatever? And you could tell she was like doing that thing. She was like no, thank you. But you could tell she was like pissed because it's like it probably might have gotten to like the front of her feet, but even just like the acknowledgement, and then, like I don't know, it was just like everything was like handled. It felt very adult, it felt very nice because, like usually it's like that's my bad, because I was like we did pay for it.
Speaker 4:I didn't pay for it, but the headliner paid for it because she wants me to. We're going to fly together to Canada. So you know, I was like I'm the broke, I'm your opener and I'm broke, so please buy my flight. And she did, and she was already gonna. And I'm so poor that if they were like we have to take your luggage and I lost it, the clothes I would buy. I would be wearing fucking swim trunks on stage in Canada. Is that how I want to perform? Where it's a funny story later. But then that night I kind of cried. I'm like are you a piece of shit or is it the airline?
Speaker 3:Oh God, oh God, oh God oh.
Speaker 4:God. So, yeah, so that all happened. I spilled a coffee, fucking, my bags didn't fit, and then I had to consolidate stuff, but I still was like what do I want to do with my life? I want to come out of here and talk to you, fine folks. Who was the first person to say that stupid fucking sentence? And I'm glad to talk to you, fine folks.
Speaker 4:And then the first folks to be that stupid fucking sentence. And I, I'm glad to talk to you, fine folks, and then that the first folks to be like all together but they love us all. No one loves anybody. I mean we do, but it's like, you know, it's only as far as our nose goes, or whatever. Um, dude, I uh I had a great weekend. Dude, I was uh, I don't remember last time we chatted exactly, but I was just in Philly doing shows and I had friends come out and, dude, did we have fun?
Speaker 4:My friend, circa, venetia and Dom came out to my shows. They got to meet Emma Willman. So fun, so beautiful. Because I have ADHD. My friends don't all have ADHD, but we all love life. But like we all like love life and we're going like, and they got to meet emma and like ever they were like talking and they started having conversations. I can't even, I don't even remember if we were talking about like vitamins or like something like that, but it was like it was conversations that were like very good, but like you wouldn't think you'd be talking that intensely about vitamins, but like that's how good the vibes were at the punchline in Philly. So that felt really, really nice.
Speaker 4:And then, after the show, as me and that group do, some of us went gambling. And I have this thing where I think I'm lucky and even though I'm monumentally not, even though it's like, well, I'm like one time I won four grand and I lost most of it, and it's like, well, I'm like one time I won four grand and I lost most of it and it's like, well, that's not, that's idiotic, shut up me. And so then I went with my friend Circa and do, we had so much fucking fun. We go and I think we both kind of felt like it's right here because we could walk, we could literally walk to it from where we're at. But we still were like we should drive. So we drove over there and we go and park and we go inside and immediately realize the worst thing that can happen at a casino they were done selling booze. Did you hear what I said? They were fucking done selling booze. They literally were like let's stop selling booze oh okay, so we're just gonna gamble with pure hearts.
Speaker 4:What are you talking about, dude? So then, but we still had fun, dude. We still had so much fun and I don't think I won at any point in that night. Maybe it's like you do it where it goes ding, ding, ding, and you're like whoa, and you're like 40 cents, why does it even ding? It dings louder than if you drop fucking 40 cents on the ground.
Speaker 4:That's what pisses me off about those games when you don't understand them, they know you don't understand them, and then you win and it like shows all these lines. It's like when you're playing slots. It's like and also you're like, and you're like nice, and you look down, you're like 40 cents, like why is it dinging if I lost money, like and uh, and then something like really like I say beautiful, but it's like you're also gambling. So it's like, I don't know, but like what? What's special or not special? But does it have to be a river to be special? Can it be a roulette table? You know? Do you have to be like standing at a fucking Brook to be like oh, my God, this thing is babbling its ass off and I feel at one with whatever's going on. Sometimes you aren't drunk and you're at a casino and you're telling each other what your lucky numbers are. One of you is betting your lucky numbers because you just won every fucking slot game that's in fucking sight, and then the rest of us aren't winning. So then we just keep going back and forth between black and red. And we got this whole thing because we were like you remember that movie with kevin spacey? This is before he's canceled. I didn't know he's gonna get canceled, but there's this movie where he was basically like you know, if you have three cars, and then like you got three doors, and then it's like at the end, should you keep that one and or change it? And you think you should keep it or change it, and then here's what happens you're actually supposed to change it because you actually up your odds, and I don't know how someone figured that out. But so that's I. That's not logical at all to roulette or what I'm playing, but I just do that. Now I just change my thing. I don't look at the thing, I just go black, red, black, red, black, red, black, red, green, fuck.
Speaker 4:And then she was telling me like all of her lucky numbers and she was explaining where they can't, where they like can't, dude, I'll literally talk about so many personal things. But I was like I don't want to give away her lucky numbers. But so she's like putting it out there and she's like, yeah, this one's lucky for this. And I was like, yeah, I was like, well, I like this one. And then my football number's not on there because it's 82. It only goes up to 32. So we got to like talk about that.
Speaker 4:And then, as she was explaining to me, like the number that was like important to her dad, and then like which numbers were like important and all this like things, and talk about when her family would go to the casino. Like she's like, yeah, my whole fit, my dad would like. She was like dude, her dad would like try to like bet at two roulette tables at once. I was like, do we watch the guy do? Oh, fuck, I just hit my dude. Is my tooth still there? Oh, or like the top of it, fuck too much fun.
Speaker 5:What's that mean? I have no idea.
Speaker 4:I've never slowed down. So, yeah, then she hit, and then that was awesome. And then there's like good vibes at the table, because then there was this guy who came up and then he was winning a lot and and then like I'm high-fiving, I have no money, I'm like grabbing more money out. I'm like, fuck, so that was great, so that was fun, because we went before with, like me, circa, venetia and Dom and, dude, we had so much fun. And then last time Dom was winning, dude, we had so much fun.
Speaker 4:And then last time Dom was winning, and so it's like and I know I'm not even trying to sound like, no, dude, I don't even care if I'm winning. Of course I care if I'm winning, you want to win. But when your friends are winning, you're like, oh, at least someone's winning. Because, dude, when everyone loses and you leave the casino, man, I don't even know how to describe that feeling, cause every time my brain like blocks it out and I forget what it was like, cause it sucks that fucking bad. Oh, I'm also quitting this vape, cause Tatum told me she's on day three of quitting, so I'm going to smoke this. And whenever I get into my Uber, or before her Uber, or after the whenever I'm, whenever I'm gonna I'm not throwing this fucker away.
Speaker 4:And then I think I'm going to try the attempt again to quit cigarettes and I'm just saying it honestly, like that, because I don't. I know myself well enough. Like even now, when I say I'm eating healthy, I go. I still fuck up a lot, but I'm the most healthy I've been in a while. So, yeah, that was great.
Speaker 4:I love going to the casino. I love seeing people win. I also do this bit where when you play the casino to keep you there because they don't just give you cash back right away, if you win at a slot, it gives you a voucher, so you have to go and do it. So then while you're walking around, you're like, well, this isn't even money. I can't even leave. I might as well play with it, because it doesn't feel like money, it's like all psychological man, and I used to do this bit with them when we were at lake city.
Speaker 4:That I still think is so funny, and they think it's funny too, because I was like betting a lot of money, but like I was also having fun and also like money's not real to me and you're like bobby, it is, and I'm like it's not real to me and you're like Bobby it is and I'm like it's not to me, you know, and we got to take our vouchers and I would like everyone was walking towards it and I'd be like, cause you could also do it like ATMs. And I'd be like, oh look, here's an ATM, but it was obviously a slot machine, so I'd play again and hit it and lose and I'd pull the new voucher out. I'd be like shit and I'd be like, oh look, there's an ATM right next to it and just like, keep putting money in To where at one point they were all like picking me up and carrying me away, being like you really got to get a hold of yourself, bobby.
Speaker 3:I'm like I ain't going to do fucking shit, Are we still?
Speaker 4:recording we are we are, um, watch me miss my flight. No, I think after this, I think after this episode, I literally think I have like at least three, at least three hours until I board. But dude, what else would I'd rather be doing? Like when comics would complain about stuff. I remember being like I'm not going to complain about that. So I don't want to like, I don't want to let my younger self down. So, like when I'm at airports I try to enjoy myself. I try to put on a fucking song and like walk around, and usually it works. Like usually, whenever you walk around and like feel not like pure gratitude, I'm not trying to be like Christian about it, I'm just saying and walk around, and usually it works.
Speaker 4:Usually whenever you walk around and feel not pure gratitude. I'm not trying to be Christian about it, I'm just saying when you walk around and you're just feeling good, it'll literally bring tears to my eyes. I'm like dude, I'm such a lucky guy. I have friends across the country that'll let a homeless guy hang out and stay with them. They want to come out and drive out and see me in Philly. Like I'm a very, very, very lucky guy. And you got to remember that Cause I used to watch guys be greedy and I'm like you have what you want and you want more. You're upset because now the TV show isn't working out. You would kill to have been here. Then the TV show works out, and then that doesn't make you happy.
Speaker 4:It's like well, when do you arrive? Dude, I'm in a parking garage right now. I've spent my whole fucking week in parking garages. That's the thing about comedy. They say it's hotel rooms. It's actually, it's actually parking garages. Like whenever my friend picked me up, we had to go, where the fuck did we go? Oh yeah, we went to the mall. So we're like in a parking garage. And then because, like, I haven't seen her in forever, we just sat there and like talked, and then I go, we could probably go like drive somewhere and talk. She's like, oh my god, cool. I'm like. So then we leave, we're sitting at that parking garage and then whenever I go to a comedy show, we park my car, so we're in that fucking garage. And then whenever we go to the casino, we're in that garage.
Speaker 3:And I gotta be honest, whenever I'm sleeping on the road I know you're supposed to sleep in walmart parking lot, but I like a parking garage because you don't really like.
Speaker 4:At a walmart parking lot, someone could crazily walk through and, yeah, get handled, or whatever. But like who's walking through the airport parking lot? Who's walking through the casino park? A bunch of drunk people, but there's's. Walking through the airport parking lot, who's walking through the casino park? A bunch of drunk people, but there's security there.
Speaker 4:I love a parking garage. I love, I love parking garages. Hey, shout out. Hey, shout out If you like fucking parking garages, if you fucking fucking love parking garages. That's, that's my jam.
Speaker 4:I almost got arrested in a parking garage for smoking pot. It was this one, no, it was. But I think there's something fun and mysterious. And you're like Bobby, you're like over, you're overselling parking garages. Cool, take me to your fucking pond. That I think sucks. Everyone has a place that they think is cool and sucks. Sorry, I like parking garages. Sorry, I have, I have weird takes. Sorry, I'm fucking different, god damn. But yeah, and then I got to have a day at the pool. What the fuck am I gonna complain about? Like honestly, if you're listening to this, you're like you should play about nothing. I'm like well, you should see my bank account, my bank's starting to like bargain with me. They're like if you can send some money before 11 PM, we won't hurt your family. I'm like, I'm trying. They're like, well, you're going to owe us 17 fucking bucks if you don't figure it out. I'm like, all right, all right, all right, okay Now, ladies. Yeah, now, we're going to break it down in just a few seconds.
Speaker 5:Now I wanna see y'all On your Bobby behavior. That is crazy. He never sleeps, ow, he's getting cranky, crank, cranky, cranky, crank, cranky.
Speaker 4:Cranky, crank, cranky, his hormones are off and fucking shit Like that. What else, what else is going on. What else, what else is going on? Yeah, we went swimming this weekend.
Speaker 3:Drove to Philly.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, and then it was like last week I got into Jersey and then that night I think or maybe no, it was the next night my buddies Kevin White and Joe Nunnick. They started running this show at this bookstore. It's called Word, I think, and it's in Brooklyn. It was their first show that they did and I saw that my buddy Kevin posted about it and I was like dude, I want to just surprise dude. That's like that is where I shine, that's like something I love to do, cause, as a comic, my, I could have messaged my buddies and been like hey, dude, do you care if I'm in town? Can I do a guest spot? Honestly, and sometimes they'd be like no, but sometimes they'd be like with bells and whistles, like dude, we would love Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I prefer to surprise, I like the surprise attack.
Speaker 4:So I got to go to the bookstore word and then, as God would have it, they said it was at 7 and I got there and I guess it was pushed back to 8. And so there was no one there, including my friends. And then when you're like oh, that's your expectations, expectations, you had expectations and I've learned through hearing it. I didn't like figure this out. I'm not smart. I gotta fucking hear a to learn it.
Speaker 4:But I was like, dude, what's wrong with this moment? Now you have an hour free to do whatever the fuck you want and I literally like could see the water. So then I just went into like this little fucking between like brooklyn and manhattan and that like little, was it a bay? Is it a gully? I consider it a wolf, but I'm there and I just got to watch the sun go down. I got to watch the sun start going down on the city and just sit there and like I even like got emotional, thinking about the fucking men in black movie, you know, thinking about like how long I've been wanting to do standup and then like this is like now the opportunity that I get to have it, like whenever he's talking to him and he's like hey, jay K is it worth it?
Speaker 4:He's like oh, yeah, it's worth it, you're strong enough. They just had that scene. I was sitting there and I was just looking out. Fuck, that's gross. I was just looking out and just being grateful. I was just like, dude, this is what you've always wanted to do. So I just got to put in my headphones and listen to music and nearly cry and watch the sun go down, and then go back to the bookstore and go downstairs and be like, hey, what are you guys doing?
Speaker 4:And I and all my buddies were so excited to see me and there was other ones there that I didn't know were going to be on that show so then we got to hang out and then we went to a bar afterwards and just hung out and then, like I got to meet their friends, like I love when I meet a new group of friends, because sometimes, whenever, like I just showed up and like they had people in town. So it's like you try to entertain everybody, but it's like, dude, let me just hang out with your other friends and we'll meet them. And then you're talking to other people and like it was beautiful, dude, I'm a. I'm a very, very, very lucky guy. Lucky guy we're putting for duty or whatever.
Speaker 4:God I love going to New York, but I drove this last time in New York charges you to fucking go into it and out of it, like they have a cover charge, like the whole city's a club, like you drive in and they're like 20 bucks. And you're like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't want that. And they're like, no, that's not what we do here. And they're like no, no, no, no, no, can I park my car right here? And I'll be right back 20 minutes you lie though.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, dude, oh yeah dude. Also some of my bad luck I had, which is good luck because I got money back, because you have to. But I was sleeping at the hotel and the fucking like maid knocked on the door and I was like, no, thank you need sleepy, you know, like the movie Tommy Boy. And they like knocked again. I'm like no, they like started opening the door. They literally were like open the door. I was like no, please, please, I started opening the door. They literally were like open the door.
Speaker 5:I was like no, please go away, for the love of God.
Speaker 4:And so they go away. And then I swear the fuck to God. I went back to sleep and then they I'm dude, I sleep naked. I sleep fucking naked Not all the time, but sometimes you know when you want to feel like your dad, when you want to be like you have an animal. You know when you want to be like I'm gonna sleep naked, I'm gonna have my asshole on the sheets of this hotel. I'm gonna fucking get sweaty and fucking gross myself out. When I wake up naked in this bed, I'm gonna have my asshole get all over anyway. So that's gonna happen.
Speaker 4:And then they came in and I was like what are you doing? I already said no. And people like bobby, you should be calm, I'm naked. I like literally got up and like went to the door. I'm like is this? What did you want this? Like what's going on? And she, and then they were like no, we're sorry. And I called up friend. I was very calm, like dude, someone just walked in while I was like fucking naked, I could have been jerking off or whatever. And they were like we'll take a hundred dollars off, which I think it's now.
Speaker 4:You're never going to get it all back. It doesn't matter if they see your fucking wiener and sexually assault. You Doesn't matter, does not matter. $100. Hey, you saw my fucking cock and balls.
Speaker 4:How much was your stay? $300? A third of that because you have the third of the size of a peanut. They give me the money back based on, like, the size of my fucking penis. Like if I would have had a hog I probably would have fucking owned the hotel. But when life hands you lemons, fucking make sure. The maid walks in and almost sees your wiener. Couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe it and that's happened to me so many times. Last hotel I stayed at fucking water damage, all this kind of stuff got a little bit of my money back. What's going on the hotel before that, in St Louis, fucking cut my leg. What's my luck? It sucks. There's glass in my bed. But when that happens I'm like, hey, guess what, bobby Jaycox, you get fucking money back and that feels good. You know that feels good to know that. You know we're not alone. We're not alone in this world.
Speaker 4:You have you and you can fight for yourself and you can also try to me on your own podcast, as you don't want to walk back in and just sit at a fucking airport After you talk about being grateful and you're like, well, I already had starbucks and I'm jittery at an airport trying to figure out how to like not hit my vape inside, just zeroing it out just, and then watching other people hide it and like you can't smoke in here. You're like there's a lot of smoke on the planes. Can we smoke? Next to the point, can we jv smoke on the plane, because if not I'm gonna spill my whole fucking coffee. So that that's it. That's the pod. Thank you for listening. Keep checking us out.
Speaker 4:I have merch on sale. It's the Canada sale. Since I'm going to Canada, I'm putting it on sale. So go check my website out. Everything's on sale. Bobbyjcoxcom Come out and see his show. I love you In a way and you love me all the way, and I'm going to keep the podcast going until this guy walks by, because he is an old guy who looks pretty fucking cool.
Speaker 4:You got an all black suit on and it's fucking. You're in hot Atlanta.
Speaker 3:This guy's fucking cool Can you see him yet.
Speaker 4:He's got cool glasses on, he's got a pants, he's got like a little leisure suit Like on a fucking Leaving the Dressing up for the airport. Dude, what's that guy going to do? Fuck, get his fucking nut. I'm off the rails. Love you, kisses, bye.