Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
“Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox" is a hilarious and insightful podcast that takes you on a wild ride through the mind of comedian Bobby Jaycox. With his unique perspective as a comedian with ADHD, Bobby shares his unfiltered thoughts, stories, and experiences in a way that will leave you laughing out loud and nodding in agreement. Join Bobby and his guests as they navigate the chaos of everyday life, discussing everything from relationships and pop culture to mental health and personal growth. Get ready for a rollercoaster of laughter, relatability, and a whole lot of discombobulation. Tune in now to experience the world through the eyes of a comedian with ADHD.
Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
92 Canadian Bubble Bath | Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
Dive into the unexpected as I broadcast live from a bubble bath in a Roman-themed fantasy hotel room in Edmonton, Canada! This episode captures the beautiful absurdity of comedian life on the road – homeless but somehow lounging in luxury accommodations that feel straight out of a movie.
The cultural differences between America and Canada come alive through everyday experiences that are slightly tilted from what we're used to. There's something fascinating about walking through a McDonald's drive-thru (they actually encourage it here!), sampling Canadian cannabis that hits differently than stateside varieties, and watching television that alternates between familiar American programming, French broadcasts, and content that would never make it past US censors.
Canadian hospitality takes center stage as I compare my elaborate Roman-themed room with its hand-painted ceilings to my tour mate's princess suite. Meanwhile, I'm constantly on alert for that quintessentially "Canadian" experience that seems perpetually just around the corner. When a fan recognizes my companion on the street, it's a reminder of how comedy connects us across borders.
Beyond the laughs, there's something genuinely thought-provoking about travel – how the extended daylight hours affect the rhythm of life, how subtle differences in everyday interactions reveal cultural values, and how a simple change of scenery can provide fresh perspective. As I contemplate life from this bubble bath, I'm struck by how a single decision to sign up for an open mic 15 years ago created a path that led to this perfectly ridiculous moment.
Join me for this uniquely intimate episode filled with observations about ugly locals, odd hotel features, and surprising cultural discoveries – all delivered with grateful reflection on the strange and wonderful journey of a touring comedian. After all, where else can you contemplate life's mysteries from a Roman bathtub in Canada?
Come out and see a show on tour. I'm gonna be on tour. I'm gonna be all over the friggin' country, so come out and see a show. Come see me with Cactus Tate July 31st through August 2nd in Bloomington, minnesota.
Speaker 2:Come see me with her again August 6th at Brookfield Wisconsin.
Speaker 1:Come see us August 2nd sorry, August 7th at Schaumburg, Illinois. My handwriting sucks.
Speaker 2:August 8th through 9th I will be headlining in Springfield, Missouri, at the Blue Room Four shows on the 8th and the 9th. Come out and see a show.
Speaker 1:August 10th I will be at Royal Oaks, Michigan, with Cactus Tate.
Speaker 2:And then you can see us in Canada. On August 21st, 22nd and 23rd We'll be in New Westminster, British Columbia. Come out and see a show, where those shows are sold. Here's the episode.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, it's the podcast that never ends. It goes on and on. My friend, did this bath take a while to set up? No, but I got it way too hot. Just put my fucking toe in. It was like holy shit had to put a bunch of cold water in. Now it feels great. Now it feels fine.
Speaker 3:Just don't freak out and be like are you in the bath? Don't worry, I'm wearing my bathing suit. Don't worry, wear the bathing suit. Don't worry, wear the bathing suit. Ew, what the fuck? Okay, those used to be real breaks. I feel like a big daddy. I'm like how come I have to wear a bathing suit? I'm like I don't know the rules with YouTube and podcasting and being naked in the tub. Just shut up and take a shower and bath. But yeah, I'm not trying to brag, but I am in, uh, I am currently in a hotel in Canada it's called fantasies and I got the Roman room. Yeah, bob got the Roman room. Have I just been listening to the gladiator soundtrack, pumping myself up, feeling like this town killed my entire fucking family and now they just want me to entertain? Are you not entertained? I say that every time after I'm done, like having sex. I'm like are you not entertained the girl's? Like oh, are you done?
Speaker 1:Like oh, you're not in the time.
Speaker 3:That's coffee out of a wine glass. I'm not trying to tell you how to live, I'm just trying to tell you how I live, how the other half lives, you know. Anyways, yeah, life's going good. I'm in a bubble bath, I think.
Speaker 3:I've had enough of that water. Turn that off. Yeah, yeah, bob's living that fancy life. I am technically homeless and anytime in any movie a guy who's's homeless gets like a nice room like this. This is what they do Dumb and dumber. This Roosters Millions. I haven't seen it all the way through, I don't think, but I'm assuming this. What's that movie where the kid gets a blank check? Uh, was it blank check? No, I think that kid there's he probably. You know he in that mansion. He had a bath. That's like that's just the point of fucking.
Speaker 3:Being poor and then being rich is like you act like what a rich person does. You act like what a rich person does. But this isn't what a rich person does. What I'm doing isn't what a rich person does. What a rich person does in these rooms is nap. They get on the Wi-Fi. They get some shit done Not me, not me. I take a bath, put in shower gel, make bubbles and try to make millions on here.
Speaker 3:Tatum is in another room. I think she got the princess room or whatever, because they're not checking. She's got the princess room. I got this room and I guarantee you, because she called me when I was going to do this. She's like, hey, what are you doing? You want to go get breakfast? I was like, no, I'm about to do my podcast. She's like, okay, cool, I'm going to go back to bed, because that's what winners do they get rest?
Speaker 3:What do homeless people do? We wake up and take a bath? Do we have these in America? Yes, but they're fucking stinky and they're with the shower. This is All the rooms have, this. This is what luxury is.
Speaker 3:If you're people, if you don't know what luxury is, it's a bath, which is weird, because most people I know are like I'd rather die than take a bath. I'd rather die than let my friends take a bath by themselves. Like that's. This is not what Americans do. We panic, but I'll tell you what you Canadians do. You have our TV.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I turned on the TV yesterday, and what was the TV? Our TV. And if it wasn't our TV, you know what? It was Fucking French.
Speaker 3:I did see tips on TV yesterday, though Is that a thing here, or is that like a, a whoopsie daisy? Because I fucking was watching and all of a sudden they're like and they're speaking French, and I was like, oh, oh, oh, rewind, rewind. And then I get excited and I tried to jerk off but I still thought I was in Texas. So I was like you can't. I felt like that scene in Face Off where I was like I got my metal boots on, fucking chained to the ground and I'm like walking. I'm like how did we get out of here, man? And the guy in front of me is like you can't. Clank, clank, clunk, clunk. That's how I felt seeing titties yesterday in Canada and wanting to see more. And I found out the drinking age here is 18. That's weird because I'm not 18. So all I can do is be mad that I didn't come here when I was 18. That's all we can all be mad at. This isn't even a hot tub you can spin around it.
Speaker 3:I got to sit in the middle in it. It's too low. Yeah, I'm homeless and complaining. New towel for every nap, new towel every time. God, I bet this audio is going to be dog shit, but hey, it's just what Canada has to offer. What else does Canada have to offer? I'll tell you this you got to try McDonald's here, and I know we've all seen the movie. I know we've seen Pulp Fiction, my mom's favorite actor. For some fucking reason we've all seen. What's his name? John. Who's that guy? And he's like, yeah, I went to fucking another country. And he's like I had a bacon Royale with cheese. It's getting hot.
Speaker 1:They're like well what?
Speaker 3:did you have? Well, here they have a Germany. I'm going to get the name wrong, but it was called like a German and it was meat mayonnaise, a fucking full hash brown. Get some cold water on this bitch. So I got that German. I got that, and then Let me make sure we're still recording. Ah, oh shit, make sure we're still recording, bob. Oh shit, yep, and it was 1-1-1-1. I get to make a wish, bob. It says the episode's only like six minutes in.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I deposit, I'm back. So what does Canada have to offer? I'll tell you Me and Tatum, we stopped last night at the McDonald's. They had a different menu. I got a Germany, I got a German chicken, and Tatum got chicken nuggets. And then, oh, the whole reason I'm telling you this is because we wanted to go order but the inside was closed, which sucks to go order. But the inside was closed, which sucked.
Speaker 3:And so then she called McDonald's, which I thought. I told her. I was like this is so fucking stupid, stop calling them. They answered I've called the restaurants where they haven't answered. They're like we don't have to do that in America. They answered what they haven't answered. They're like we don't have to do that in america. They answered and she was like hey, can I fucking have some? Uh, can I have some mcdonald's, but I'll just walk through. And they didn't even hesitate.
Speaker 3:In canada they're like you get your ass in here and you come order through the drive-thru. So we got to walk through. Didn't even seem weird. We went through the drive-thru. They weren't even like walk through Didn't even seem weird. We went through the drive-thru. They weren't even like we do this. Sometimes they're like this is how we do it. This is how we do it.
Speaker 3:You want some food and you came to Canada to get food and we got all food from you. Yeah, everything here is the same. And then every once in a while they have like Canadian Tire, but it's all the same. It's like a tinge off, and I've only been to Canada for a second. But I'll tell you what Edmonton ugliest people I've ever seen and I know I might get flack for this, but you'd have to get a fucking passport and come to the lower 48 to fucking talk to me about it some of the I went to turn on the news late last night Some of the ugliest fucks I've ever seen.
Speaker 3:They looked like the kids when you went to school that they were like we do the news. I'm like I'm sure you do. You fucking dingus. It's too hot in the hot tub. Is that Eddie Murphy? Who's too hot in the hot tub? I'm not just going to do Saturday night live bits. So, yeah, it's too hot to sit in for a second. Um, yeah, so we got to walk through, carry our food back, grab pot. And dude, we grabbed some pot in Canada and you guys have.
Speaker 1:No turn on. And dude, we grabbed some pot in Canada and you guys have no Uh-uh Turn on.
Speaker 3:You guys have such different fucking pot. The pot you guys have. The pot you guys have is like the one where you're like, hey, do you want this pot? And you're like, nah, my uncle grows this and yeah, when you smoke it it doesn't taste like it's from a store. It doesn't taste like it's like in america we have like baja blast weed.
Speaker 3:This is called fuck your cousin and you can't believe you're doing it. It's an indica. It's gonna make you feel like you can't move while you're kissing your cousin. You're like, um, do you have anything smaller? Or like lighter? Nope, you gotta kiss your cousin. And here they're like we got chocolate oranges. How is it? They're like it's good man. We gave them our ids and they're like I've never seen a texas one. I'm like I feel so fancy. So we ordered the. We ordered the pot and smoked it. Dude, I got so high. But it felt like a different kind. It felt kind of like they put liquor in it. I was like Tatum, do you feel drunk? She's like yeah, like off liquor. Like we literally were smoking and I was sitting down and I was like bro, I don't feel right. But so thank you, canada for doing that Good pot. Specifically to Edmonton ugly fucking people, like everywhere we walk around. I'm like ugh.
Speaker 3:Maybe it'll be different tonight, but so far uggos.
Speaker 1:Yeah, ugly, hey, I'm ugly too.
Speaker 3:So don't be worried about being ugly, it's just a fucking, it's just a thing you are. Sometimes I'm hungry, but I can change that. Not easily, though, because I'm poor. Not easily though because I'm poor. Um, yeah, so you guys got ugly fucks here. Um, yeah, so you guys got ugly fucks here.
Speaker 3:Oh, dude, and then we were walking and I was with Tatum. Tatum and I were walking See my ZZ Top phone. So, yeah, me and Tatum were walking and, uh, we're literally in canada and these people are walking out of the building that we're like walking by, and in literally no time at all, she goes. And this lady got so fucking excited. I mean, dude, she got so fucking. I can't express to you how excited this lady got. She goes, tatum, we took a picture. Tatum took a picture.
Speaker 3:I was like dude, that's how cool life is, dude, like you literally get recognized everywhere you go. So don't like ever question like, how cool you are. I have to question it because I've been doing it for like seven times longer than you and I'm like well, they got bubble baths in some of these hotels. That's crazy, dude. I'm just basking in the ambiance, that's all I'm doing. Yeah, so after this, I'm going to get out of the tub, not take a shower. I'm just going to rinse myself off and clean the floor, get that all wet.
Speaker 3:That missed. Oh, you asshole. I guess that's why it's got a cover on it. But I mean, these things were fucking no money. So if you're like this podcast sounds like shit, well, it doesn't look like shit, does it? Does it look like shit? I didn't fragging, think so.
Speaker 3:Oh, dude, let me tell you about customs. When you land, you're so nervous. You're like uh-oh, did I accidentally do I have a joint in my mouth right now? But literally customs is like you land, you walk by a lady and she's like why are you in Canada? And we're like for work. And they're like that's crazy, get the fuck out of my face. They like slap, shot you out of the way. They go, get out of here and they slingshot you with a hockey stick to play hockey. So yeah, canada's cool.
Speaker 3:Saw tits on TV, saw the ugliest fucking people I've ever seen, found out 18-year-olds how old you can be able to drink here. So I missed out on some opportunities. And but I'm not sad, that's just that's how life is. You know, life's different for all of us. Some of us have highs, some of us have lows, some of us have highs, some of us have lows. Some of us have a hot tab that feels so fucking good right now.
Speaker 3:You don't even know if I'm taking a piss in it. Right now you have no fucking. You got to guess and I have a guess, and I have to guess. Is the water the exact same temperature as the pee coming out of my penis or not coming out of my penis? These are the things we wonder late at night. You know We'd like to be more mysterious, but we're mostly just taking pisses and shits when no one's looking. Matthew McConaughey, possibly shitting right now, possibly taking one of those shits where he's like talking at his asshole. He's like okay, jesus Christ, yeah, I guess, tell me I gotta chew more fuck, all right, all right, all right.
Speaker 3:I took a shit the other, like the other day, that made me want to like forgive my dad. I was like dude, you probably went through a lot too. I'm not even mad anymore. I just took a shit and I get it. Brother, sometimes life's confusing. Yeah, shits are hard. Man, I'm not judging you, I'm just living a life when, in Rome, poop is the Romans' poop and pee is the Romans' pee. My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius and I'm taking a poop and a piss and the rest of this is going down the drain. I'm insane. I'm in Rome and I'm feeling kind of crazy in this foam and I'm gross, oh my God.
Speaker 3:And my bed has a mirror above it and this mirror has gotten the least amount of action it has ever gotten in its mirror life. I literally lay down and I literally watch the mirror sigh. It's like I normally watch fucking. I literally laid down and I literally watched the mirror sigh. It's like I normally watch fucking. I heard the guy on the other side of the mirror go fine, I'll just go to another room and watch it. Then there's just a mirror that I just got to watch and move my boxers down and squint and be like. I can't even see my penis in the mirror above my bed. I can't even see my frigging hog. We'll call it a little pee-pee. I'll call it a penis, if I must. That little penis was so small how small was it that I couldn't see it in the fucking mirror above me? I just told you Are you not listening to the podcast for one? Are you fucking dipshit? I'm out of coffee, marcel.
Speaker 1:God in peace, excuse me.
Speaker 3:More coffee. Could I get more coffee please? Hey, I got no coffee. I got no coffee in my headphones. Also, who's from Canada? Nickelback, nickelback's from here. Alberta Sum 41 is from here. Rush is from here.
Speaker 3:Thank you, chat GPT. What should I eat when I'm here? You should get a bison burger, even though it's cattle country Shut up. I want to eat maple syrup out of someone's ass. And then chat GPT is like okay, here's some famous asses you could eat out of.
Speaker 3:I'm so comfy, cozy. There's just nothing better than being me sometimes and I know you might be thinking I'm bragging, I am. I'm in a hotel. I'm looking out at the night sky. That is daytime. That's the other thing about Canada. We got here and it was fucking 10. It was still light out. Sometimes it doesn't even get dark until like fucking almost 11. And then it gets bright. It's got longer days here. That's why everyone's smiling and ugly. They don't care what they look like, they want to see the sun. We got to make sure we're beautiful because we're fucking, we're uggos, we're uggos and we got to cover up here. They don't care the hat might be coming off. I don't want to get my new hat wet. It's fucking 10 bucks. Yeah, let me check the pod, let me make sure it's still recording. Oh God, oh God, I'm being a real mummichock right now. Not only are we still recording, no, that's it, we're still recording. I wish I could jump into it. This is literally how deep it is. How do you?
Speaker 3:fuck in here, like literally, like it's so crazy to be like you're just fucking and you're like well, my, this is so cool. My, my legs are in the water. I guess you could do this one, dude, I would be so mad at fucking in here. I'm like slipping and sliding. Stop turning off On the bubbles. Only go for 20 minutes. I fuck for two, but I think it should be longer. Actually, sometimes I fuck way longer than two minutes.
Speaker 3:People don't really talk about that. People always talk about making fun of us and how we come fast. What about the times we last long and we sweat really hard and we almost fucking throw up? You don't talk about that with us. And I don't just mean ladies, I mean guys too. I actually don't know. Do gay guys complain about each other? Is what I mean, which I don't think.
Speaker 3:So I don't really think all the gay guys I know are in like really good relationships with each other. Um, and maybe it's because they're also like, oh, we also fist fight are in like really good relationships with each other. Um, and maybe it's because they're also like, oh, we also fist fight each other. Like really, they're like yeah, and not like they like hurt each other. They're just like yeah, if you're mad at your girlfriend. You guys don't show up Like I would never hit my beautiful princess. And they're like well, mine's the same exact size as me and we beat the fuck out of each other. Lesbians do the same thing. Again, it's not beating each other up, it's just being like tougher than which. That's how I feel. I actually feel like gay love or, sorry, straight love is gay, like it feels so good and it's like ooh, I fit. Gay Doing the same person as you. That sounds linear, that sounds straight. Gay is being like ooh, we fit. I mean, that's the kind that I have, but it is gross. Sorry, just enjoying myself Didn't mean to just go crazy. Go crazy, bob, go crazy.
Speaker 3:And these ceilings are hand-painted. And Tata made the funniest joke because I was like dude, is your room hand-painted? And she was like yeah. And I was like that's crazy that these people hand-painted, like how much money it is for each room, because I know how much it is when I paint a room one color, because that's what I used to do for a job, so that they're doing this. Intricate paintings like these are good. This is like a painting that'd be in like our restaurant, which you know it's not great, but like so them, do these clouds and all this stuff. And then tatum was like, after they get done, they're like only 500 more to go and each fantasy floor is like a different one. Like she's like a princess or something. I got Roman.
Speaker 3:There was camping and that one looked like shit. Thank God we didn't get camping. Space looks fucking rad, but you had to have like you'd like be in love and like be like on a honeymoon or whatever. So all the rooms here are fucking pretty cool, but I'm just glad I didn't. There was one that really sucked. There was like a Victorian one and you like slept in a buggy and there was a mirror above you. And to sleep in a buggy with a mirror above me and not fuck like I'm in, like Titanic, would have definitely bummed me out. Bobby, are you just spitting in your own bath water? Yeah, yeah, oh man, the episode's almost over. Sorry, I'm just relaxing. Yeah, it was cool.
Speaker 3:I got to come into Canada hang out with my girl Tat, girl tatum, oh. And then there's a fucking water park nearby their water park and a. Uh, what's the other thing? It's nearby a. It's like inside, I think the same thing, it's like an amusement park. So we're going and I gotta wonder like is canada more sue hungry than like america is? Or is canada more sue hungry? Because last night we walked into an area that was literally like no trespassing and we walked fully on it. There was like a sign to the side and I thought that was cool. There was also a ladder I wanted to climb and I totally could have. It was just like available. They didn't cover it up. Really, in america you have to like get a ladder to get to the ladder, because everyone's a fucking idiot.
Speaker 3:Here I guess it's different, I don't know. Also, that's the worst thing about me right now is that since I've been to Canada, I don't know, I'm just waiting for. Like you ever seen the movie the Incredibles? The kid's like what are you doing? He's like I don't know, just waiting for something amazing. I guess I've been waiting for something Canadian to happen the whole time I've been here. I don't know why. Like I landed, I'm like, okay, it looks a little same as us but a little different. Like their walk signs or the guy on there is a little different. The people here are ugly as fuck, but everything is like a little different. I don't know, I'm like waiting for someone to just be like oh yes, put my maple syrup a or whatever. I don't know why I'm waiting for something so fucking Canadian to happen. I'm like waiting for someone to be like you want some of my health, gary. But instead I just turn on TV and it's our TV and it's like our news.
Speaker 3:They're like Trump and I'm like what's your guy? What is the candidate guy? Is he your prime minister? Because our guy is a possible pedophile, bobby. He's obviously a pedophile. I don't know shit about fuck, and I think he is too. Here's the thing. I don't want anyone to be a pedophile, but I want him to end up having been a pedophile, because every argument every Trump person has ever had like, they're always like yep, he's our president, that's what he'll do. And now you get to be like yeah, he likes kids. And you're like he was going to build a wall and I was like, yeah, he didn't, because he was kissing kids on the fucking mountain. Anyway, I don't know what he was doing. I have no idea what our president was or wasn't doing. I am just a comedian who lives in a country where your president is a bad, bad man.
Speaker 3:People are like, yeah, I voted for Trump. When you think about that, if I would have, if I, when I did vote, my vote didn't even count for some reason. So let's not even talk about that. But if, when I would have voted for Kamala, if it had been like Kamala's a pedophile, I wouldn't be like shut up. I'd be like, uh-oh, I made a bad call.
Speaker 3:You guys are like people who break up with someone and they're like, yeah, but we were bad to each other. Oh, okay, I guess that's just how the cookie crumbles, isn't it? I guess that's just how the cookie crumbles if the cookie'sumbles, isn't it? I guess that's just how the cookie crumbles if the cookies crumble. Anyway, I'm done talking. I'm having fun talking with you. That's the podcast.
Speaker 3:I love. You Do something you love. I've never been to Canada and now I'm in a bathtub in Canada. All I did was sign up for an open mic, like 15 years ago, and there is literally no way I would be right here if it wasn't for that. So a little bit of gratitude at the end. Thank you to tatum cactus tape for taking me on the road. Thank you for everyone who's ever taking me on the road. Thank you for everyone who's my friend right now. Thank you for everyone who's not my friend right now. I love you.
Speaker 3:Be a good person, be a bad person. Don't hurt anybody. But you can be a bad person, not like a trump you. But you can be a bad person, not like a Trump. You shouldn't like go to Epstein's Island and be like we're all these kids doing it. But you can be a bad person Like you. Can fucking steal something one time. See how it feels. Maybe you like it and you didn't even know that. Anyway, kisses, I love you. Goodbye for now to you, my friend. Until now, to you, my friend, until I piss again. Did you take a piss inside of the tub? You'll never know again again.
Speaker 2:You'll never know so say, so long until we meet again.
Speaker 1:I said so long farewell to you, my friend so long.
Speaker 2:Farewell to you, my friend, so long Farewell.
Speaker 3:Farewell to you, my friend, so long Farewell. Be funny if I trip but I don't want to trip Because I don't have health care. I mean I do, but here I think it's freaking cool, but it doesn't count. I'm going to stop this podcast. I'm going away. Goodbye, till we meet again, bye.