Ep 104: Snowstorm Saint Louie

The plan was simple: leave St. Louis before the snow hits, beat the storm, make it back in time for tour. What actually happens is a slow-motion thriller on unplowed highways that morphs into a funny, unguarded exploration of fear, masculinity theater, and the messy work of healing. I talk through the white-knuckle ramps, the “sport mode will save me” delusion, and why following a semi at a respectful distance can feel like spiritual practice when the lanes disappear.

Between jolts of panic and relief, I aim the jokes at big-truck swagger, Bass Pro cosplay, and the myth that hunting equals provision in a world where most of us have garage Coca-Cola and a deep freeze full of good intentions. It’s satire with a pulse: growing up around these guys, becoming a firefighter, learning where real danger lives, and seeing how entitlement and tenderness can exist in the same zip code. I share complicated family threads—queer identities inside conservative spaces, parents who couldn’t show up the way I needed—and how easy it is to promise change while repeating the same patterns. The storm forces a different kind of honesty: go slower, pay attention, feel everything, keep moving.

Somewhere south of the black ice a leaf clings to the wiper like a tiny coach, and that becomes the hinge. Strength isn’t macho; it’s staying present when quitting looks tempting. You can’t rewind time, but you can stop letting old hurt steer the car. If you’ve ever gripped a wheel through your own weather—relationships, family, identity, the script that says “provide” while your body begs for rest—this ride might feel familiar. We laugh at stinky shoes and municipal salt conspiracies, then land on a simple truth: keep going, because forward is the only gear that heals.

Listen, share with someone who’s navigating their own storm, and tell me what hit home. If the show made you breathe a little easier, tap follow, send it to a friend, and drop a note or review so more people can find it.

Chapters

• 0:00 Cold Open And Banter
• 0:57 Snow Warning And The Rush To Leave
• 4:08 White-Knuckle Highway Panic
• 7:15 Truck Guys, Bass Pro, And Stereotypes
• 12:15 Hunting, Masculinity, And Identity
• 17:31 Sliding Ramps And Survival Mode
• 21:12 Southbound Relief And Self-Discovery
• 25:36 The Leaf, Sadness, And Balance
• 30:31 Resilience, Family Wounds, And Healing
• 34:15 Stinky Shoes, Humor, And Grit
• 35:01 Tour Notes And Sign-Off

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:05

No sound of good sound, right? Isn't that right? Isn't that right? Isn't no sound of good sound. God, I hope it's filming. Hey everybody, welcome back. It's a podcast where I'm Bob. I'm your friend. I'm your friend. I'm your friend. Do I know you not at all? Not at all. But you gotta pretend cause it's a podcast and I pretend, my friends, and you pretend you laugh at my jokes. You already turned the podcast off. Fuck. Hey, how's it going? I actually um uh I actually uh am driving um when I wake up when I know I was gonna be waking up so fucking early cause of the snow. Did he know? Did he know the snow? No, you can't know everything. How could you? But it's gonna be two to four inches. You better get out of St. Louis because you can't get stuck in a city where you're not going on tour. That would be fucked up.

SPEAKER_00: 1:33

So I had to drive back I drove all the way from Houston to New York to Saint Louis and then is now and right now I am um driving.

SPEAKER_01: 2:14

I'm having a very good drive, but this morning I wasn't I uh Yeah, I was like gonna leave this morning. I probably would have left like sometime now ish from the loo not proud and would have woken up sipped some coffee with my friends petted a dog said my bus instead but instead what happened was uh I was like I'll I'll do that and then my friend uh Sarah was like hey just so you know it's gonna snow tomorrow and I was like well just get right the fuck out of town no way Broly No way really uh well I guess I'll take a quick nap. And then I did that thing where I kept waking up and then I would like check outside and I'm like it's not snowing yet. And then I felt like the guy who lost his marbles in the movie Hook. Whenever he like shuts the door on the pan family, they're like doodles, and he's like, it's snowing! Except for I did the opposite. I like ran out of their house so fast that I had to text them and be like, hey uh, just so you know, Bob might have left your front door wide open, which I was pretty sure I didn't, but I yeah, yeah, yeah, you just you gotta check because they got dogs and dogs love to uh go outside. So then I uh got in my car and was like, this snow's coming down pretty fucking fast. And I tell you what. I is this car been called small by auto mechanics? Yeah, to my face, it kind of pissed me off. This car is kind of small, it's an average size car, but thank you. Um please change my old my oil for$124. And then show me a part of the car that I know I could replace, but I'm just gonna get it from you because I'm not stopping at two other places and I don't have my tools in my car. I have like a tool in my car and it's me. So yeah, I got in my car and the snow was coming down. Unbelievably hard. Like so hard. Like so hard that like I was like, uh oh, have has me leaving because I need to make it back in time for tour, so I can't get caught here if roads get closed and they don't plow. So I should leave. And then started driving, and at first was like, and then was like really quickly was like, oh no, oh no, oh my fucking god, I'm gonna die on the fit. And uh I almost did. I mean, I was I was two seconds away from hoping my car was a transformer being like and hoping my car turned and like saved me and started running, and then gave a speech at the end of the movie. It's like this world is protected by us. Snow and you thinking you can drive through it in a car. Does it have all-wheel drive? It has sport. I could switch it to sport and waste you into the fucking median. I mean, dude, I got on the highway and I went, I uh was on like you don't know St. Louis, but basically I was on like what was like um, you know, a road, you're like, of course this is gonna build a little snow. And then I got on the highway and I was like, oh fuck, there hasn't been any snow. What why don't they put salt down? Like I looked up, was like, there's gonna be snow tomorrow, and the city of St. Louis is like, yeah, there is. You fucking idiots are gonna have to. Oh, we can't wait to make the news tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00: 7:00

So, like, and I and I've seen this before.

SPEAKER_01: 7:03

Probably because that you're like, You're not gonna let me over even though there's a semi-truck on the side of the road. So I gotta do this awkward thing. Thank you, next person. But fuck you, first chunk. You know who's a big assholes is guys in trucks. I like it went from just being like, hey, small dick, to being like, you're fucking just a piece of asshole. Like I was just at a fucking uh fast pro shop because it's the only hats that'll fit me.

SPEAKER_00: 7:38

It's either that or children's hats, but the bill's too short, and then I can get a ladies, but then everyone knows because it says like Pam inside.

SPEAKER_01: 7:49

But guys in trucks, dude, they are bro, like and those guys and I'm we're making a lot of generalizations, but usually guys in big trucks are usually guys like you know who doesn't get anything expected, you know, because it's like, yeah, dude, to get a fucking, you know how much you have to do to get a truck? It's a lot. So I'm sure you're gonna feel entitled. But then also, if you're like so cool, maybe get over so the guy like you're like I love American workers. What's more American than a semi-truck driver? What's more American than than the person driving our stuff around?

SPEAKER_00: 8:28

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01: 8:33

So and then I stopped at a fast pro and everyone in there had a big truck, and God, just their energy, just everyone waiting for their wives, everyone has that fucking, everyone has that like they kind of stole the Amish beard. They just have that Amish beard, and then they're like waiting for their wife standing next to their brother that looks exactly the same as them, and then their wife comes up in the same coat, but it's pink, and then their kid comes up, and you can just tell that their kid is just so fucking thirsty, but they don't even know for what you're like, do you want water? You're like, what am I what am I a Democrat? We don't drink water, yeah. So those guys, I went to a bath pro to buy a hat, hated every second of it. Hated every second of it, and I and people are like, I love you know what's cool about a bath pro shop? Fucking nothing. I asked someone for help, and they almost tried to citizens arrest me. I said, hey, I was just wondering, they were like, ah, he's got a guy! Like I'm wearing a Bass Pro Shop hat. She's like, you know, you need to pay for that. Like, you don't, it's like that energy, and everything's crowded, and everyone's all those people are like, I'm a good person, not folding clothes back, throwing them down, everyone looking for a hunting clothes. No, you're not hunting. The world's in shambles, you're not going back out hunting again. And if you are, what the fuck are you doing? Do you know how much money it takes to feel as if you're providing for your family? And by the way, you're not like eating the liver to get the nutrients, you just you kill a deer. And I'm not against hunting. I begged my dad to take me hunting. I'm like, I just take me hunting, please. I had a gun, he wouldn't show me how to shoot. I was like, please let me take the course. And he goes, if you can show me that you can pass the test, I'm like, how in the how in the flying fuck would I do that on my own? If I if you're a child and you on your own study without any help for a deer hunter course and you don't have the internet or a way to study for it, like am I supposed to just go outside and like hold my hand to the ground and be like, it just hopes that I feel deer, and I'm like, that's how I that's that's it. So that's like you I wanted I wanted to do that, you know? I wanted to be, you know, you know, killing a deer and fucking breaking its hoofs off and fucking putting them in your truck and you know, but then just being like, I might be gay or whatever, you know, but I'm not. I'm not might be kissing a guy named Hunter, but I'm not a hunter. Unless I gotta make sure I'm recording. Sure I am. Sure fucking I am. Um so I'm all over the place, but yeah, those you're not hunting, dude. You're just not. And if you are, it's not like you make deer. Okay, cool. We all had sausage. Did you go out there and brought nope? You called a buddy who's smarter than you because he bought it and he's like, all these other idiots can bring me the deer and I'll make all the money and do the sausage. But you're like, I gotta be cool. Hey, and I'm not against you. I can make money and own a comedy club. I mean, I couldn't because I'm not, I can't get along, but I could do other things to make money, but I'm like, I gotta, I wanna be out there. So I get it. You just gotta be honest with yourself sometimes and be like, I'm not really providing for my family. No one in their life has been like, we almost died. But then we had deer sausage and cases of Coca-Cola in our fucking garage. Got garage Coca-Cola. If you see people with garage Coca-Cola, you better not just don't ask their opinions on anything, just keep saying things about how nice their house is, and they'll be vague and you'll be vague. Oh, shiplap, yep. And you know, we did it actually, yep, we did it ourselves, and then we posted a TikTok. Uh, it's the only TikTok I've ever posted in my fucking life. Yep. Oh, that's cool. Oh wow. Yep. Oh my god, you shiplap yep the entire fucking house. Oh my god. And then you, yep, we're starting to paint it white. And over here, yep, we're already starting to fucking take the paint off to uh get it down to its original. The original that you bought from Home Depot.

SPEAKER_00: 14:22

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01: 14:24

The no, like, did you oh my god, this did you go out in the forest and take a trip? Nope. I went to Home Depot, I killed a deer, I fed it the wood to my family. They all said their stomach hurt. I threw my fork down. I said, no one's fucking grateful. I said, there were good times, weren't there? Yes, and it was when you were gone trying to kill a deer to give us a stomachache. I want to provide for you. Then just go to Chipotle and then come right back. And if it makes you feel like a man, you can put the piss of the fucking person making your burrito. You can put it all over yourself. Or like the person they're attracted to, or whatever, like however dear put the fucking piss all over you, and then walk up real quiet, and they're like, What would you want? And you're like, fucking blow into your fucking thing or whatever to make the sound and make them get closer. You're like, what? And then, you know, get a bunch of burritos, have them wrap them up, throw them in that deep freeze right next to the fucking Coca-Cola. And then say, I admit that this is you fucking respect me for this. Same guy who's online, and then he sees a guy who like literally stinks. He's like, I fucking actually stink, and I I'm actually almost out of my battery, and I I live out here, and I killed a squirrel the other day and found out it was actually a very sick squirrel, so I could only nipple at its toenails. There's a lot of actual, there's actually a lot of um fiber in the toenails because it cuts the shit out of your lining and all your food that was stuck in your lining is gets put into your stomach. But and then and then that guy, and then the guy who like kills deer is like, we're the same guy. We're the same guy. The same guy. God, I love those guys. Because here's the we know the truth. Like, I'm uh, you know, I I I I know these guys. I grew up and I was I grew up around these guys, and I was a firefighter, and I've seen them, and I know they're, you know, one day they got all car hard on, and then they go to work out of the gym, and it's fucking the whole thing's fucking red. Under armor red, under armor red, underwhelm a red. Fucking uh. They're like, I have life figured out, and I'm like, you're an AC. You're kind of, and I mean this respectfully because it's the words they use, and the only things they'll understand if they're watching, it's like you're kind you're the gay one. Like, gay guys aren't gay. Gay guys are like out there, like at they're like at Raves figuring it out, like, you know, and now I honestly, most of the ones that I know, they're kind of like becoming Republican, which is so weird, you know, weird to see. Rory Scovel has a joke about that that I can't, you know, you can't really top. It's in it's perfect, but you know, so it's like they but they're you know, and I have a I have a gay Republican brother, you know, so it's like you know, that's confusing. Telling him, you know, you can't say that word, but I guess you're actually you can. And then he's like, you say it. And I'm like, my okay, so true, they're there with my gay brother on set, you know. So it's like, um, yeah, these guys are like they're just you know, and my brother's a guy, he'll kill a deer, you know, and he's like, and then go kiss a guy. That's that's tough. That's tough. That's tough. If you're uh straight guy, you like kill someone, you just like read what everyone tells you to do. You didn't like learn it, you're not like, babe, I figured it out. If I put piss all over me, I could kill a deer so much faster to come home to you to listen. But instead, they just everyone represses everything and pushes down the sausage and then shits and stuff. Oh my god!

SPEAKER_00: 18:55

Oh my god, is it Thanksgiving again? Where's my gun? Where's my gun? Hey, bring me my ow! What?

SPEAKER_01: 19:10

I'm shitting in the other bathroom. Your whole life has just become shitting, and you thought it was gonna be so cool. You got nails hanging on the wall, you thought your wife would be like, hey, bring over another wife. It's the neighbors. I don't care about anything because I'm a hard work man, I'll just my neighbor's wife. So yeah, you guys aren't tough. You're living in an AC, you're in a tent when you hunt, like, dude, gay guys are out there like doing drugs, being like, I might die.

SPEAKER_00: 19:51

You know, like, dude, bucks can be kind of scary.

SPEAKER_01: 19:55

Oh, yeah, did they learn to climb trees? Did they learn to climb? I I did they who how many how many people got killed by deers last year? Actually, it's a lot more. Oh, was it? I think it was a lot more times the guys drunk going home and didn't kill a deer. They were like, I'm a nothing. I can't even provide for my family by not providing for my family. Meanwhile, there's a guy who's learning how AI is gonna kill his kids' kids, but he's like, I'm gonna go get your overpriced Chipotle because I actually love my family. And I'm gonna come home and talk to my non-binary kid and be like, what do you need for me?

SPEAKER_00: 20:41

And they're like Chipotle, and they're like, I got it.

SPEAKER_01: 20:46

Because what do we all need? Chipotle, and to figure out how the hell our bodies can fucking go through something. Because you're like, I'm so bored, but God I want to go through something. And then you go through and you're like, not that.

SPEAKER_00: 21:04

And then you're like, give me something, and you're like, no, not that life is beautiful, yeah, not like that.

SPEAKER_01: 21:25

It's after the holidays and everyone's just flying around. Oh yeah, someone's driving in the snow. I'm so I just got like so I'll start over the pod.

SPEAKER_00: 21:37

I say sorry, I'm sure it's sorry.

SPEAKER_01: 21:46

Anyway, so here's why I uh yeah, I left St. Louis and I was like, oh, it'll snow a little, but it'll be fine. The roads will and I was praying. I was I was so tense, I was one with my car. I mean, me and my car were talking. I felt like I felt like one of the avatar, I my hair was fucking just I put it in my USB cord. It was like, ooh, let's go. I feel you, let's drive. You feel a slipping? I feel it too. And I made it on the highway, and there's like two, two lanes, two lines, and there's a semi-truck, a car, an SUV, and then me. And we are just a parade of fucking intense teeth gritting, shoulders tight, a group of people, and just going down the highway, and I get on the highway and I'm like, all right. This was the worst idea I've ever. This was a bad idea. Like, you ever see an idea and you're like, I made a bad one. I had made a bad one. But then I started calming myself down because I'm like, well, not gonna, you know, well, everything's gonna be fine because I can just pull over to the shoulder or whatever. And then as soon as you get on the highway, your friend's like, get on the ramp. I'm like, around, slick at. So I take this ramp, and I mean, I remembered everything anyone's ever even kind of taught me about driving. Just like not too fast, not too slow. You can't go uphill usually start to slide. Fucking, don't touch anything, no break too hard. Test it a little bit, see what's going on. Do this, don't do that. And I made it around this turn, and I I felt like you know, sometimes you feel like you're like, when I die, are we all gonna watch some of the stuff I had to do alone? Are we gonna watch my triumphs and tribulations? Why would we watch? I don't know. I thought we were all one. I thought you'd want to see it. Never mind, I'll turn it off. What do you guys want to watch? Oh, about you quote. But so there's like no lines. I get off this ramp, there's even less lines, and then I get on the the next highway, and there's like there's no lines. You're just kind of I'm just driving on what dude it's it looks like loose leaf paper. And then I started to be like, guess what's gonna happen? That's okay. Because then we're all gonna pile up and I'll just be in traffic. You know who's been in traffic? You know who's pissed in his bottles in his car and has bottles in his car? You know who did run out of water and was like, well, I hope I don't have to drink my fucking piss.

SPEAKER_00: 24:56

Uh Bob, you could just drink the snow. You know you can't drink snow. That's everyone's piss. That's God's piss or whatever.

SPEAKER_01: 25:11

So I just kept driving, and because I knew I was going south, so I knew I was going in the warmer weather. It's it's over 20 degrees warmer where I'm at right now, and I knew it would be. But if I just if I would have left a little sooner, I guess I wouldn't have learned about myself. And I guess I wouldn't have learned like how scary life can get. And that I promised myself the other day that I uh I was gonna work through stuff, you know. You know, and I'll allow myself to go through emotions. I'm not gonna pretend. You know, I my family would do that. They would say, you know, we're gonna make changes. Same person, if not worse, if not a little, a little bit worse. And so, you know, I was like, maybe I'll, you know, that's what I learned. I learned that I can drive through the snow and take two scary ass exit rants and take it slow enough and look around and be like, here's a semi-truck driver. I can drive behind him and keep my distance. I can go up a hill and be like, you better fucking speed it up. Because at least you'll glide up and who knows how close I was. I mean, I felt like my tires were made of ice. I felt like my car, I would like literally kind of I tested it once, I was like, on a flat area, it's like let me pop pop, let me pop, let me hit my brakes.

SPEAKER_00: 26:37

Alright, fine. And uh when I had my bracelets.

SPEAKER_01: 26:54

So I knew I was in for trouble. But then I also knew that any exit ramp I took, like the first one said, hospital, it's like perfect place to stop. But then I've also like, dude, I was a firefighter. I know how it works, I know which things are like gonna happen first and which things are getting taken care of, and I'm like, you know what? I'd rather just stop on this highway and wait for them to plow me off of it. And I did, and I made it through, and it got way worse. And I just gritted my teeth, and then I made it through. And oh, yeah, that was like one of those things where life's like, hey, here's a here's a side quest. It felt like a video game. Sometimes I was kind of getting zoned out, and I felt like a video game where it's like, you ready to play? Or like, oh shit, I thought we were just watching the story. Oh shit, it's first person. Here we go. And I got so scared. I got so scared I almost like called someone and was like, just be on the phone with me. I'm fucking scared. But then I realized I wasn't, and I realized everything was gonna be okay. And even if I got it was we were all going so slow, even if I got an accident, what would I do?

SPEAKER_00: 28:01

Total my car, get a job. Does that suck? Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 28:14

So I tried really hard and didn't crash my car. So, you know, I made it. And then woke up uh and you know uh at a gas station because I drove for a couple hours and once I made it through the snow, I was like, I got went to bed, and now I'm uh I'm a lot closer to my destination. I'm getting a lot, a lot, a lot closer. But yeah, I've been driving so much my sciatica hurts, but I've been working out a lot, which sounds douchey. I don't know why, because we live in that kind of society, but I'm just like I can't have my body hurt anymore. So yeah, I guess I'll work out and everyone's like this guy looks like an asshole. But I guess, you know, I'd rather do that than my body hurt. So you're stronger than you know. You can make it through anything. Oh. Look like this leaf. This leaf has been with me. Can't really show it to you, but when I put my windshield wiper on, it's still here through the snow, through the sleet, through the rain, through the wind, through the fucking doing that's what I think. That leaf has still been there, you know. And uh, it really means nothing, but as I drive, I was like, you're fucking you're right here with me, man. Some people I know won't even stick by me at all, but this fucking leaf will. And then like in a second it'll break off and go away, and I'm like, ooh, now I'm completely alone again. No. Everything's good. Sad is good. Ever you can't I was talking to my friend about that the other day. I was like, she was like, Yeah, I don't I think you're supposed to feel sappy and that. I was like, happy and sad. And I was like, Yeah, I guess you're right. I guess sometimes I'm like, I uh I guess sometimes you feel so it's like playing blackjack. You're like In my favor a little bit. And sometimes it is, and you're like, Can I? You know, but can't ask for stuff because it feels like you're grabbing it life, and then you ever try to grab something in water, and it fuck it. The more you try to grab it, it goes away. But if you just kind of like kind of comes to you, but then you're also like, Why can I try to control everything? The only thing I control is myself. Don't even try to control water. I am fucking water. Me and water are fucking. Yeah, I'm dating water. Yeah, we haven't made it official on Facebook because we're not like that. I've been drinking her for years. You know? You've been drinking, I don't care that you like her too. I love, I love, I'm fucking drinking water, bit. I have no idea where that bit's going, so I'm gonna stop it and drink this and tell you that all I've learned about life so far, I think to be grateful for is I'm grateful for how strong I am, how resilient I am, how my love will uh prevail, even though um I can be hurt uh by, you know, you I think you we've all been there. Final thoughts, Sat. But you know, I you know, my I you know I had to learn the the a hard way and uh and then uh that my parents you read books about them and they're like they're not, you know, they're not uh equipped to be what you need. And they'll ask you shit, like, well, what do you want me to do about it? And you're like, what? You know, so but I through that I'm glad that I uh can still pick my head up and can still see that uh instead of just getting depressed, I can make it through. And then through, you know, even relationships and things that you know you might want to still be like I uh I can have my heart and my stomach hurt, but I can still love. And uh that's what I did this week. This week I uh it's one of those things I'm keeping for myself. I'm not I share everything, but I'm not sharing this multiple things, but this weekend I learned all the answers. Not from life, I'm not doing that thing like I got it through that. I'm just saying I learned the answers that I've been that have kept me up at night, you know. The things where you're like, I wonder if I could change anything, because you know, we can't none of us can go back in time, none of us can change things, but we can like try to heal. And for the people that want to heal, uh, that's you know, we can do that, we can try to heal. But for the people that can't do that, truly God speed. Try to not let that affect me because uh I just can't. I gotta move on. I have to heal. And I tell you what, my fucking heel stinks. I just took my shoe off, and my fucking foot smells like a fucking salad vinaigrette, dude. Oh my god. Ugh. Yeah, dude, this smells like a fucking. Oh my god, like you're eating at like it's like nicer than a Panera.

SPEAKER_00: 33:38

You're like my mouth the first time I do it. That's how my fucking foot smells right now. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01: 33:54

Bob, well, I'm on the road. And you got you got the heat hitting your fucking wool shoes, and it makes your target socks stink. Which the I target your socks are starting to fucking suck, but man, does my foot stink. God fucking damn does my foot stink. So yeah, so anyway. Um just keep going because you literally have no other option. Scary for everybody. So just like you know, maybe someone like in a raft with their fucking let's go. I'm gonna try to go with that one. I hope you do too. And uh if you feel like uh if you feel like reaching out to the pod and telling me what you think of the pod, do it, share it. We need it. You know all the things you have to do on the pod. It's getting absolutely too dark. I can't do this anymore. The road just got really scary, heavy rains, but I made it through snow, so rain doesn't scare me. Be crazy.

SPEAKER_00: 35:12

I do I have out.

SPEAKER_01: 35:16

I will tell you, I will start saying upcoming tour dates. Because I know I'm gonna die and I'm just gonna be like, we'll be in Tulsa, Oklahoma at the end of December.

SPEAKER_00: 35:29

Come see us in OKC. All right. Take care. Go be there from you guys.