Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox

Ep 109: Happy New Year

• Bobby Jaycox

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0:00 | 31:56

New Year’s fireworks fade fast, and what’s left is the same life you had yesterday. That’s the starting point we embrace: skip the performance, keep the humor, and pick choices that make today feel lighter. We riff on sleeping through midnight, bailing on loud parties, and why Times Square’s diaper culture is the opposite of a good memory. The throughline is simple and stubbornly human—feeling better beats pretending to be better.

We go from body comedy to honest care: yoga mishaps, back gripes, and the art of not sitting on your own anatomy become a gateway to realistic routines. Instead of punishing resolutions, we build tiny habits that stick—short workouts, kinder showers, five-minute guitar riffs for joy, not performance. We talk media hygiene too: retiring trauma-forward picks and adding playful, low-stress movies that actually soothe your nervous system. Joy isn’t fluff; it’s recovery.

Along the way we unpack social bandwidth, the myth of “respectful silence,” and the power of a little candid seasoning in rooms where nobody stops talking. There’s permission here to choose smaller circles, fewer nights out, and more honest boundaries. We also get real about creative life without a big machine behind it—why community support matters, how DIY shows get made, and what we want to build next.

We close with a quick breathing reset you’ll actually do, a laugh you might need, and a nudge to pick one small intention you could keep past January. If this episode made you smile, share it with a friend who hates resolutions, subscribe for more, and drop a review telling us your one tiny habit for 2026.

Support the show

https://www.patreon.com/c/DiscombobulatedwithBobbyJaycox

SPEAKER_06:

Happy New Year, everybody. Happy 2026. How's your year going so far? January 1st, 2026. I'll tell you how mine's going. I'm done. I've completed it. I'm not over it. I've completed it. I grinded from dawn till noon. I grinded so fucking hard. I actually treat each year. I treat each year as if it's a day. But say that the other way. I put each day. Today was 2026. Knocked it out. Tomorrow, as soon as I get up, 2027. Grinding out so hard. I'm grinding so hard in 2026. It's noon and I completely cut out carbs. I haven't eaten yet, but I have zero in my body. Bobby's done with carburitos. Done with carburinos. Done with carburetors. Done with carbo. I don't know how to do the rule of threes with this one, but I hope you're doing good. How you doing? Welcome back. 2026. The year of the discombobulated. And I've already manifested everything. And I'm actually I'm actually so woke. I actually woman a fested. Yeah. I woman I fested like a woman. And I'm ready for 2026. I'm so fucking ready. I'm so ready. Are you ready, or did you just wake up and you're like, oh fuck, it feels exactly kind of like yesterday, but I'm sleepy as fuck. I'm not. I for the first time, maybe in sincerely since I was like a kid, completely slept through it. And it's not because of and there's no real reason, you know. Like I was, you know, it's I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't on the road. I didn't I didn't feel good, so I was like, I'm not gonna go out and party. So it was about 11. We watched 10 minutes of Stranger Things and we're like, what the hell's going on? And then I laid in bed, ate Doritos and fudge. Viv made fudge, and so I ate some of that fucking vudge, and uh yeah, and then I went to bed.

unknown:

Shh.

SPEAKER_06:

Doritos and mouth. Yeah, I started 2026 with Doritos in my teeth. Bob, you don't get up and brush your teeth? That was 2025, Bob. 2026, Bob, is gonna do the exact same thing. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, 2026, the year of fucking stagnicity. Hey, did you get any worse? But I stayed exactly the same. As long as I can fucking walk through 2026 and at the end my balls still weirdly hurt. So you're like, do I have cancer? Or do as you get older, your balls are just like I think that just happened. I don't know, I don't know what's going on, but sometimes I'll just be walking. I'm like, my fucking nuts are they're just as tired as I am. I'm like, ugh. And also, maybe, you know, 2026 is the year maybe I get my nuts done. You know, I think it's time. I want to get my nuts done. I'm gonna fucking move them out of the way of my legs. Never gonna sit on them again. Gonna kind of change the, I'm gonna close those like the holes from whence they came. So every once in a while, when you sit in, you don't like it, doesn't kind of go up into the front of your nuts. That's where your nuts go, just by the way. I don't know if you know. Some guys have huge nuts and they don't know how to go back in the cabinets or whatever, but I have this right-size nuts that if I sit down, they can almost pop back in and they go like you'll almost feel like you're gonna throw up out of the your stump, you know, your like the bottom of your where your fupa is. Just it hurts so bad. I did a show with um some drag queens, and that is uh one of the drag queens uh told me I was like, hey, um the splits you do, that's super impressive. But they did the like the one with the it's like a that's called like a rock bottom or whatever. I don't know what it's you're like what is that called? Like the the suicide drop or whatever. But like drag queens do this thing where it's like bah and they go down, and I was like, Do you by chance you can you don't have to answer this, but we were like all hanging in the green room. I was like, I hope this isn't true. Do you land like on your nuts? How do you like handle that? And they go, No, I actually put my nuts back inside of me. And me and the other drag queen go, what the fuck did you just say? Bunch of people with nuts just like, I don't do that. I don't shove, I don't fucking do that. But sometimes you'll sit, I'm like, and I was like, Yeah, sometimes I'll sit down. And then um, yeah, they actually showed me they leaned back and they were they had like uh like a Leotard on, and you could see their nuts like just sitting at the top of their stomach, and I was like, Oh my god. Me and the other drag we were just like, oh my god, man. Oh and so sometimes I'll sit you sit down and they kind of they try to go back, you know, they try to move back in with their parents or whatever. I don't know. I don't know how else to describe it, but it sucks. It's not a good feeling. It sucks. It sucks. It's hard being a guy. Oh yeah. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05:

Sometimes we just got these nuts we gotta drag around. Gotta eat gotta eat big old nuts.

SPEAKER_06:

Not big on nuts. But a big, it's my um my nuts and my sack are kind of like in, I think, um you ever know someone who's like they have their houses like way too big for them. They're like, we don't even use over here or that or whatever. That's how my nut sack is. I think they thought we were like, whenever I bought it, I was like, we're gonna have we're gonna fill this house with nuts. We're gonna make this sack a home. And just so many, and just and now it's just I don't know, it's just like, do you have two people? It's just two balls reading in the corner with glasses on, they don't really talk to each other once in a while. They're just like, I'm kind of sore, how about you? I'm like, yeah, I got a little sore. I think it's because I sit and because of my back hurts, it's like it's the whole fucking this whole like groin area. Do you know what I mean? This whole area just fucking hurt. Like I was ready for my back to hurt when I got older. I was like ready for my knees to hurt. No one told me my nuts were gonna hurt. I could have I'll skip on the my fucking nuts hurt. Which zodiac sign do I gotta be to make my nuts not hurt? They're always they're also just always in the way because I've been trying to like do yoga and like trying to like flex again more because I used to do yoga a lot. I was really into I was in fucking yoga shape and I was doing it, and then I would like you go to like move your leg and you're like owl, and you're like, oh, I'm sitting on my balls. I'm sitting on my balls again when I'm trying to fucking downward dog. I could probably lick my nuts like a dog right now. That's how fucking down, that's how much these nuts stretch. Bobby, there's no the first episode of the pod of 2026 is just about your nuts. Which podcast did you think you were listening to?

SPEAKER_05:

It's discombobular.

SPEAKER_06:

Um I said it so late in the game that's kind of like uh I said you say that if you say the intro late enough in the game, it kind of reminds me of have you guys ever seen the movie Hardball with Keanu Reeves and the saddest moment of maybe any movie of all time? G baby. Oh my god! Dude, I can't even believe like our parents tried to keep us from movies that were like rated R or anything like that, but they're like, you can watch Hardball. A bunch of us just like that, oh my god, no one should that's honestly that scene needs to fucking that is so hard to watch. Um what the fuck is that doing yoga, talking about hardball for no fucking reason? Why was I talking about hardball? Oh, the because I said the intro late. Yeah, we were watching that movie a couple years ago. We're like, we were all like at it was like at the end of a party when you're like, let's all fucking stop moving. You know when everyone's gonna like there's like a group that's gonna spend the night and everyone's like, let's kill the fucking music. And everyone kind of like finds a spot to lay down and fucking, you know, just kind of cross your arms really hard and then just be like, I don't care if you're on a pillows, it's okay. Yeah, I'm just fucking trying. We did that, and then someone's like, let's put on hardball. And we were watching it and we couldn't stop laughing because from my recollection, I remember in Hardball, it's like pretty into the first act, and they're still showing like names of people, people in the movie, and you're like, they're still starting this movie, the team's together.

SPEAKER_03:

I love it when you call me big pop.

SPEAKER_06:

Dude, that movie, it is very good in the way that it is also un in unimaginably sad.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh god.

SPEAKER_06:

I hate sad movies. I mean, I love obviously there's like great, like I think Ghost, in my opinion, might be one of the best. Ghost. If I die, put my body into whoopee Goldberg and kiss my wife for me, please. God, I love that movie. It's the best uh Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers? Get fucking fucked. But I the sad movies that I'm kind of uh I just need a break from. Like the other night, dude, I was hanging out um with Cactus and her husband and her daughter, and then she just like in her background, just was like put on a movie. She's like, I'm just gonna put this on. And I was like, is that a dog? And she was like, Yeah, and I'm like, why the fuck would you turn a movie on that has a dog in it? That's something you should just know now. Is you if there's a dog in the movie, we don't turn on that movie. It's gonna be way too sad. It is. And I know we also love cats too. I love cats, but we don't really make we don't love them like that. We dogs are man's best friend. And cats are like man's like um that friend that they're like, dude, I gotta text that guy. And are they come around like, oh shit, I fucking forgot you were still in town or whatever. But like dogs, dude, dogs are so special, and I can't watch a movie. I just can't handle these movies where dogs, anything bad happens to a dog, and she put one on, and all of a sudden you like see the dog went. I'm like, you gotta turn this movie off. And I wasn't really paying attention, but I was like doing other stuff like around the house, so I was like doing that, and then you eventually you walk by and you kind of keep checking in, and at one point I checked in at the worst time because at one point the guy lost his the dog and his girl. He loses both of them, and I was like, Oh, okay, this movie's not just sad about a dog, it's both things, at least in Marley and me. The guy had his family. Yeah, I'm over. I can't watch, I just can't handle sad movies anymore. But I also don't like it's like what movie, what movie are you gonna watch? The last movie I went and saw in theaters was SpongeBob, and that's kind of the movies you need to see because movies just aren't that good anymore. You'll watch like a Marvel movie, and the whole time you're like, what the fuck is I kind of gotta go watch like a Spongebob movie, it's kind of something stupid. You kind of zone out, you know. I'm at the age I'm 35, I'm allowed to fall asleep until I snore. I'm allowed to fall asleep until I snore, and then you know, if I wake up, I go, I'm allowed to do that, and then you can everyone hears me breathe heavy, and no one says anything, and then the you know, I'm just like, uh.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I know what the movie was about.

SPEAKER_06:

It's like, yeah, they kind of like it's kind of like seemed like the Odyssey, but mixed with uh fucking SpongeBob. It's pretty cool. What happened? Because you guys were laughing, and I was fucking I literally woke up and I thought there was a paralysis demon. It was SpongeBob. Patrick Scarpounds. Patrick Carpock Pound. Oh, that is something I am gonna bring in their 2026 because all of 2025 I uh there was a bunch of um just malarchy. Um but I've realized I've been in so many rooms where I talk a lot and I try to shut up and listen to other people, and then you know you'll try to talk and then someone they other people don't shut the fuck up. So I'm gonna do that's the one that I'm gonna if you can't beat them, join them. I think respect is kind of fucking over. Not like not like you know what I fucking mean. Not like a loving respect, like just like a just being in a room being like, can you shut the fuck up for now? I think it actually kind of works because I've been like, I've been kind of sprinkling it. It kind of feels like a like a season I've been putting on a a dish. And everyone's like, what is that? I'm like, being kind of a dickhead. Mmm, being honest, that kind of feels good. I'm like, not bad, right? Yeah. I might put a little bit more in the next one. We'll see if it gets too salty. Uh, but it's not like I also I'm really trying to give myself a break to just be like work on myself. Like, I woke up this morning, I did work out, I uh I took a morning shower. I'm a night shower guy. Um, and even after I took the morning shower, I was like, yeah, I'm I that is the right one. No, no, no, like that I do it at night. Sorry. The morning ones, I'm not a fan. Like I do it, it feels good, it kind of gets you started. But the whole time you're doing it, I guess my body's used to it at night, so it was doing this like, we get to go to bed after this. I'm like, no. But we just did push up. I know. But we gotta, I know, we gotta shower and then we gotta do the rest of our day. But I don't want I know. I know. Come on, body, let's go. It is weird that you have to like talk to your body, you have to like like I'm at, you know, I'm at like that age where I'm just like, come on, Bob. I have to like talk to me like I work for myself, like I'm a whole company. Like I'm emailing my knees, like, are we ready to get up in a second? And they're like, Can I get back to you in like a couple? I'm really busy right now. And you're like, okay.

unknown:

Ah!

SPEAKER_03:

And they're like, I told you I was busy. Why didn't you fucking go along with that project of standing up? Would this hurts, Bob?

SPEAKER_05:

Oh man.

SPEAKER_06:

Um, and I I'm trying to think of if there's anything I cut out, uh, maybe fucking knocking shit off like that. If there's anything I cut off in uh like 2026, and obviously not. The only thing I think I'm like overdoing is uh overdoing in the the stuff that I don't want to do anymore. Is I was like, I don't want to drink anymore. But that kind of did like this year I drank sincerely probably the least, maybe I feel like maybe the least I've drank in years feel incredible. Um but then there I just I don't know. I just like that's like so it's not like I'm like I'm not gonna drink anymore, but it just doesn't do what it does for me for other people, so I kind of leave that down. And then also just partying. Like even last night for New Year's Eve, I didn't have a desire to be going anywhere. You even start to get texts where everyone's like, Happy New Year, and you know, you're texting people Happy New Year that you love, you're texting like just to be like, good luck. And then you do that, and I'm like, I wouldn't want to hang out with any one of those fucking people right now. I wouldn't want to, I'm so tired after 2025. I feel like we all just got out of the hot burning house. We're like, How'd you good job? And then every once in a while I do feel good because there are people who have posted that they're like 2025 ruled, and I'm like, good, good on ya.

SPEAKER_05:

Good on you for getting that, 2025.

SPEAKER_06:

Because I was whooped. I was fucking, I was whooped. And I won't even share with you what happened because it would be everyone has their own problems. But you ever see like one of those fights where someone like getting beat up and you're like, oh, they're losing, and then you're like, now they're getting their ass kicked. That kind of happened to me, which is weird because I thought I was winning the fight.

SPEAKER_01:

I was like, yeah, everything felt good.

SPEAKER_06:

I was even being cocky for I was like, this feels amazing.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, fuck, shit, ass. God damn it, mommy.

SPEAKER_06:

And then you try you try to get up and you're like, okay, and then you go to the corner, and the guy who's like supposed to help you like wash out your mouth of blood, you're like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. They're like, fucking meet us either, brother. So get back out there because it doesn't stop ding. I'm sorry we didn't say anything better.

SPEAKER_03:

Go, get go, go, go, go. I'm tired.

SPEAKER_06:

I know, I know, I know, go, go, go. And then eventually you come back and you don't even have a ring in the corner. At the corner, you're just like, where the all right, I just gotta fight. I don't even have my guys in the corner. This fucking hurts. Um honesty. The best policy on here on this podcast. Oh my god. Oh, yeah, and dude, we got this. This is what we got when we went and saw the SpongeBob movie. Tatum got this fucking thing. Do not try to fuck with that lock because it is, it was this is$20, but I'll tell you what, the fucking that lock um is where they're that's where they're making profit because it sucks. If you try to fuck with that lock too many times, it will not unlock. So you don't really want to fuck with that, but it's pretty cool. Pretty sick ass box. And we bought this because this is the popcorn box. But just so you know, when you go to a movie and you buy a popcorn box, at least this one, they don't put it in there. They give you a big thing of popcorn and you're supposed to put it in here. Takes a lot of the fun out of it. Takes a lot of the fun out of it. Kind of takes the fun out of it in the way too, whenever they give you the cup for you to go put the soda in, you're like, you know, okay, I guess thanks for the Dr. Pepper. But what was it called? The search for square pants. Yeah, that was not a bad, not a bad movie. It's about being a big guy, and I learned all my 2026 lessons from watching the SpongeBob movie. Bob, that's where you get uh. It's not books, it's not AI, it's children's movies, which is not actually a bad place to get all your life lessons. Unless they're from the past and there's been like sexual allegations against those people. Not those shows. Those shows they usually try to just be like, how do we get like, but so don't watch those, but like the ones like, dude, Mr. Rogers, killer guy.

SPEAKER_04:

You should just love yourself.

SPEAKER_06:

That's not a bad thing. I think we live around too many people that have like they just like watch a Spider-Man movie and like I'll be like that. I'm a victim in New York, you motherfucker. Special victims unit. Oh god. But and then, dude, I saw that people we were talking about this too. If you go to New Year's Eve, put on a and you fucking put on a diaper and stand there till the ball drops in Times Square, get the fuck out of our country. I'm gonna be honest. I I think those people need to get the fuck out of I don't think those people need to be here.

SPEAKER_03:

Cause also what what the fuck?

SPEAKER_06:

This is how I'm making up. I know I lost her this year. She's gonna be watching the ball drop and see me with glasses and a big dumbass hat standing there in a diaper because I'm gonna have to piss and shit myself because you can't leave and come back. If you want to be right up front on the camera, you gotta piss and shit your pants. That's a fact. And if you want to do that, you gotta get there early. And I think those people are some of the worst people.

SPEAKER_01:

Like, fuck you. I can't believe you left me. Look where I am now, Times Square. Around a bunch of people that have pissed and shit themselves.

SPEAKER_03:

Look at me. How do you like me now? Now that I shit my pants, you still think I'm Crazy, but I just shit him again.

SPEAKER_06:

Have you ever done that? Not even babies do that. Shit your pants once and then do it all again. That's insane. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Um, are you struggling lately? Yeah. You don't have to follow my social media to know that. BetterHelp is here to help. I do I do love when I get like a BetterHelp commercial. You're like, alright, I know I need help, but this is starting to get too big. I feel like once a corporation gets too big, I'm like, I also don't want to talk to my phone therapist like that. I don't want to be, I've I don't want to be mad at someone through my phone. I want to be mad at them and real, I'm like, you don't get you don't even get me.

SPEAKER_05:

Even you don't get me?

SPEAKER_06:

Are you serious? No, you can tell I've never been to therapy. I work through stuff myself. And I've talked to friends who are in therapy and like, Bob Bobby, you're so you're so cool. Wow, you really get yourself even though you never been to therapy. Apparently that's what happens whenever you like are were raised the way that I was raised. You can kind of like have an understanding of it, but still be pissed that it's not working out right. Not can be, but you that's what happened. Like, of course you would be like that. Um oh yeah, dude. And uh also I'll say this now. Please follow the Patreon. Please join the Patreon because Bob's got some real cool plans for the podcast in general. So let's try to send this to a friend, a co-worker, a loved one, someone you fucking don't love at all. Because even though you guys might hate each other, you know what you both love? Discombobulated with Bobby Jacobs, and you can get even more bonus content on the Patreon. So come out and do that so I can buy an RV and put a dirt bike on the back of it. Which isn't much. You guys listen to podcasts with people who are millionaires, and they s and they share some ideas that someone else shared, pulled up for them. They got a whole team behind them. I don't have a whole team behind me. I got fucking Kim Jong-un and this fucking bald guy, and fucking Squidward with a wig on. And a dog barking outside. This is this is my team. I don't have a lot, so please join the Patreon. And if you don't, you're gonna get annoyed with me continually asking for it because it's so much cooler when you listen to a podcast and I know they have a Patreon. They never promote it while they must be doing pretty fucking good.

SPEAKER_03:

That's just how I feel.

SPEAKER_06:

Ooh, yeah, what are your what's what's your intentions? What are some of your fucking intentions for 2026? What do you want to do? Do you want to get abs? Do you want to have abs and look down and just be able to count parts of your stomach?

SPEAKER_05:

If you want to look down at your stomach and go, I can count the parts of the that's my I look like a niche turtle, but I can't eat sugar anymore, and I am not happy at all.

SPEAKER_06:

But if you want to do that, you could do that. You can get abs. Um you could want to learn guitar. But then every time you practice guitar, you're like, well, I'm definitely 35 and not gonna be in a band, so why would I keep learning this for then someone to be like, can you play guitar? And this is what every here, I'll tell you this. I'll tell you everyone at my level of guitar. This is all you can do. You're at a level where you could pick up a guitar that happens to be in a room, and it better be the fuck tuned. Has to be a tuned guitar, can't be even slightly out, have no mental capacity to fix any of that. Don't know how to tune, you just have to have a tuned guitar enough that you can pick it up. People in the room who probably already know you go, I ain't gonna think guitar like that. And you go, yeah. And then you play something very different on a different part of the guitar, and then set it down as if to be like, I can't regale the whole room with songs until the end of the night. This party's for everybody. So Bob is just gonna set this guitar down. Bob, play a couple more things. That's literally everything I ever learned on the guitar. So I'm done. Unless you would like to hear a story of the year. Oh my god. Imagine showing people I could play guitar.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_06:

Wow, you know that song? Yeah. But also, if you want me to play Until the Day I Die, but the hard parts I can't play, um, I can play that. I don't really know how to play guitar. I can pretty much just play story of the year. It's a weird way to do it. It's kind of like whenever you see a guy like uh who does an impersonation but only of like one thing, you know. Like someone who's like, I'm Jim Carrey or whatever. Like, I'm like, that's what I do. I'm like, I'm Ryan Phillips. I do want to learn how to do that. I want to learn how to play a little bit more guitar and be able to spin it around my body without um decapitating myself. Because I've seen bands, and whenever they do that, oh man, that's like that's the kick flip of guitars. I can't even play good air guitar. Who cares? Um, but yeah, maybe you want to work on that. I want to uh I want to become taller. That's the only one that I don't think I can do. And I don't, I'm not like I'm a short guy. I just I think I just want to see what you what like you know those tall guys see. Because you know, sometimes you meet a tall guy and they have a calmness kind of like that pilots do. They kind of have a calmness of like you can kind of tell they're like, I know everything's good up here. And sometimes I wonder if they are so tall, just like how when we look up we see clouds, but it looks so different when you're above the clouds, you almost kind of feel like you're in heaven. You know, I want to be that kind of tall, like where I'm just like looking down at everybody, I'm like, everybody doesn't have any idea that it's all fine, and they look like ants down there. Because I am tired of like I'm far enough in comedy where like if we're doing a show, like a host or something like that, like might be like, dude, can I ask you like a question or whatever? And what sucks is giving someone advice, and they're this much taller than me. Here's what you should do. Do you want to pick me up so I can tell you? I'm giving advice. POV, I'm giving you advice, and you're you just picked me up. You should work on, you can go to open mics, and actually, what you should do is work it on the things that make you you. Can you put me down? My armpits kind of hurt.

SPEAKER_04:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_06:

Oh yeah, luckily I'm like 5'758, which is like um whenever someone says you have like an average. I'm like, I'm definitely like, I actually should be a model. Like, I really honestly I don't know why I'm not a model. Because I am like what guys who go to Target, like I am what like those people are trying to be like, oh, I saw a Target ad, and I think this shirt should look like me on that, and then we put it on, we're like, fuck.

SPEAKER_01:

God, why don't Chino pants fit my fucking short ass? I look like fucking ridiculous. God damn it. I can't wear these fucking stupid clothes.

SPEAKER_06:

Stateely, sponsor me, you stupid fucks. I'm a fucking I again, I am also an underdeveloped comedian who could use money that a clothing brand could give me. Give me a fucking yellow box and I'll share it for the rest of the year. That's I'll only wear those clothes. Give me a deal with State Lee, and I will be the stinkiest guy wearing the exact same pants. I'll leave the tags on if you want. Oh my god. Yeah, I don't, yeah, in 20, no, there's no new year where I'm like, new me, new wardrobe. This is this shirt um was given to me by no, I bought it from him. He was like, hey, which Bryce Evans was like, hey, I have a shirt for sale. Would you like it? Which I've never been sold a shirt like that. But he's like, it says Bone Man, which some people call me Bobby the Bone Man, JCX, Slap City, they call me that a lot, Libby and Tina. But that's they call me Bobby the Bone Man, and he was like, hey, maybe you'd want this. It's like 15 bucks. And I'm like, okay, I'll buy it for 15 bucks. And this was one of the newer shirts, and then when I got it, I was like, oh, this is uh I should probably get bigger shirts. Um why are you wearing on the pod then?

SPEAKER_02:

Because I don't have many shirts, that's what I was just talking about. Why do you guys talk during my podcast? How come whenever I'm trying to do my podcast, you always fucking talk over me? It's fucking pissing me off. Yeah, I don't want to get a fight on my pocket. No, just shut the fuck up. I'm trying to bring it back in my podcast. If someone's made it this far in the podcast and they want to see that we argue, I honestly don't care.

SPEAKER_06:

Okay, thank you. Um, I really appreciate it. I really love that you guys listen to the pod. I really appreciate you joining me. Get on this journey to 2026. Let's breathe in through one of our deviated septums. Breathe out without letting without too much force that a booger flies out of your fucking nose. Breathe back in and try to go harder and try to go and any of that phlegm, swallow it, but kind of look around and be like, Do people know I just swallowed my fucking boogers? I don't know. I'm an adult and I bet they do it too. In out. And then be like, does my breath smell like boogers now? And then in.

SPEAKER_04:

And out shake off the demons. Pull off your penis.

SPEAKER_03:

Tear off my penis and throw it at me. Cause I can't fucking poop or pee. Tell me not my penis. Oh my nurses.

SPEAKER_01:

Try to suck it, but you pulled it off. Wow.

SPEAKER_06:

Thank you so much for joining us. And if you would like, please subscribe. Tell a friend. Join us on Patreon.

SPEAKER_02:

Discome populated with Bobby J Cott. Thank you so much. Thanks for joining us here today. Please go on and fuck something up. Like do something like a little fucked. Like that would like hurt anybody. But like, you know, like sometimes you want to do something like fucking, you know, it's 2026. It's not about being a better person.

SPEAKER_01:

It's about feeling better. So if you have a neighbor that's like been bothering you, you know, you can throw shit at their house and they probably have a ring camera.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, but if you practice every single day like throwing shit, like if you like practice launching it with like a little shovel, you could probably do it from far enough back that the ring camera probably can't like tell who you are.

SPEAKER_01:

And then they'll have to like show their whole family like he's got some key throwing shit at our house, but we can't we fucking can't see it.

SPEAKER_02:

We try to get a vacuum.

SPEAKER_06:

So like, and you could do that, and then by 2027, they move away from you. Because they can't figure out how to stop it raining shit all over their house. And if that specifically helps you, you fucking better join the Patreon.

SPEAKER_02:

I'll send you a couple stickers on the way. Thank you for joining us. Much love. Now I must die.