Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
“Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox" is a hilarious and insightful podcast that takes you on a wild ride through the mind of comedian Bobby Jaycox. With his unique perspective as a comedian with ADHD, Bobby shares his unfiltered thoughts, stories, and experiences in a way that will leave you laughing out loud and nodding in agreement. Join Bobby and his guests as they navigate the chaos of everyday life, discussing everything from relationships and pop culture to mental health and personal growth. Get ready for a rollercoaster of laughter, relatability, and a whole lot of discombobulation. Tune in now to experience the world through the eyes of a comedian with ADHD.
Discombobulated with Bobby Jaycox
Ep 110: Spanish Speaking Roberto
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Ever had a week where your nose, wallet, and patience all tapped out at once? That’s where we start—sinus pressure, neon boogers, and a confession that sometimes the only thing standing between you and a breakdown is a dumb joke that lands just right. From there, we spiral into money stress, tax avoidance fantasies, and the rude awakening of tracking protein like it’s a second job. Four hard-boiled eggs, a shake, a slab of beef, and still barely hitting the number—because apparently survival now requires a spreadsheet.
The turning point arrives at a small Mexican grocery where pointing, smiling, and “dos libras” bridge the language gap better than any app. The meat tastes fresher, the price makes sense, and the human connection beats the big-box runaround where shampoo hides behind locked glass. It’s a love letter to local shops, to humility, and to the quiet joy of getting good food from people who care, even when you bungle a noun or two.
We pull the thread through back pain, couches that don’t fit, and the small rituals that keep a body functional: walking, stretching, smarter chairs, and the willingness to mock your own Coldplay-level melodrama. Then travel enters the chat—TSA pat-downs, airline banter that should’ve stayed on the tarmac, and the case for clarity over corny jokes when everyone’s exhausted. Underneath the laughs is a simple thesis: honest effort and small community wins keep you sane when life runs on fumes. If this sounds like your week—sick, broke, reaching for a better meal and a better mood—you’re in good company.
If you had a laugh or felt seen, tap follow, share the show with a friend, and leave a quick review. It helps more than you think, keeps the lights on, and maybe funds an oil diffuser that actually smells like a forest.
https://www.patreon.com/c/DiscombobulatedwithBobbyJaycox
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Discomboard. I'm of course your host, Bobby Jacobs, and if I can't find a way to get rid of all this yellow and green snot coming out of my fucking nose, I'm gonna lose it. If I can't find a way to when I blow my nose, it doesn't feel like I found a predator inside of my body. It doesn't feel like I it like I'm in space and I something went in my body like and then I just go and I found it and I blow it out. I am I you have no idea what Bob can do with a fucking sno with boogers right now. Are you kidding me? Dude, I am a s I'm a snipe dude, I'm a sniper with it. I am a snot sniper right now, dude. I have so much bo I went for a walk today to try to clear my sinuses, and on that walk, close one nostril, give it one of those, give it one of those, and give it one of those, and I can look right where I want it and just I saw an anthill, hit it, napalmed an entire anthill with my snot rocket. Just bye. Um that's how sick I am, and it's coming out colors, it's coming out colors that if you were coloring, you'd be like, I don't want that one. It's they're terrible. Greens and yellows that are just like just thrown by the wayside. I those that just fucking blow my nose, and it's and it's disgusting. And then you spray stuff up there that says it's supposed to help, and then you blow, and a little bit more comes out. But every once in a while, dude, the ones I live for are the ones in the morning, the ones that yeah, I'm not even ready for them. Just wake up and I'm like, why can't I breathe on the left side of my face? You know why? Because you got a slug in your nose. You got a big stinky gross slug stuck up your nose, Bob. And then you blow that out, and then you go, now I have to figure out how poor I'm gonna be this year. I have to figure out what kind of poor guy does Bob want to be this year. Do I want to be the poor guy that's like, yep, do you know, is it like that? Do I want to be the poor guy that's like that guy's kind of cool and just bought us all McDonald's and probably shouldn't have, but had the money to do it? Or those are the only two options. I'm pretending that there might be another option. Because anything beyond that is fucking for Bob would be killing it. Um which, you know, which would be nice. Um and someone told me the other day everyone's mad at the government, you know, which, you know, more power to you or whatever. Um we're I'm we're always mad at the government. It's like, you know what I mean? It's like, it's I'm like, yeah, I'm not a fan of the government. And then someone was like, yeah, dude, I don't even I don't even know if I want to pay my taxes. I think a bunch of us are gonna not pay our taxes, and I have to be like, Yeah. Way ahead of you. No, I've I've I've paid my taxes. You're legally not allowed to check. I mean, I have, I've tried, I've texted my tax guy, I text my tax guy all the time, and he's like, sorry, I left the country. Not a great sign if your tax guy has left the country. Or maybe it's an incredible sign. You know, maybe he was taking my taxes to Taiwan, and they were like, This guy? They're like crunching the numbers, like, how does he survive? Like, through sheer willpower. Through sheer willpower and just shaky headaches. Which I just found out. The other day I looked up, I was like, I need to know. I'm 35, I should probably know the amount of protein I need to have in my body. And once I thought I had enough, I was like, oh, this is good. Let me put this into my phone, see how much where I'm at. I was nowhere near the amount of protein a human being is supposed to have. I didn't even have clothes, I didn't even have half of it. So then the next day I tried to eat more, did the math, not didn't even touch it. I'm like, okay, I guess that's why I'm feeling fucking dizzy. Okay. And then by the third day, I started the morning. I shoved four fucking whole hard eggs in my mouth. Hard-boiled eggs, four hard-boiled eggs, fucking a full breakfast. Ate all the other stuff with it. That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about my protein. Ate all that. Later made a protein shake. Later had um beef. It's what's for dinner. Had all of this fucking meat, a meat, a protein shake, everything. And then I checked and it's I like just made it. And I feel like I'm gonna fucking throw up. How the hell am I supposed to am I supposed? I'm supposed to run and attack a lion and eat the fucking the whole thing the other day. So I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to go get a rotisserie chicken and eat the entire thing. I have done it, but it's like that's dude, I'm I'm so tired. I I literally like all day I was trying to get stuff done, and then I'm like, I better go eat again because it says I have to. How the fuck am I supposed to eat and then fucking be poor? I'm poor, so I can't eat. And then I was gonna be I'm so poor, I'm like, you know what? I I gotta go to a I was gonna go to Dollar General, and then I saw a thing that Dollar General tried to kind of steal from you or whatever. And so then I went, I looked it up, and uh I was like, let me go to Walmart, let's see how far Walmart is. And then Keen, uh Tatum's husband, was like, well, dude, I don't know if you know, there's like a dude, there's like a Mexican grocery store, like just the other way of the Dollar General. So I was like, well, I'm gonna go check it out. And they're like, well, Bobby, how do you know it's a Mexican grocery store? Because it was called La, then whatever grocery store is in Spanish. That grosai, I don't really, I don't know. I took three, I believe two to three years of Spanish. I can't remember how long. I think between two and three years, dos and tres years I spent, and I will tell you, I got straight A's, and that class fucking almost that class almost put me in a into the B range. I had a fucking nightmare time learning Spanish. Cause you come in and your Spanish teacher's like, this is the last time I'm speaking Spanish, and you're like, hello, what? And then all of a sudden she's like, hola, and you're like, no, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Like in music class, they don't just talk to you in guitar. You're like, well, how do I play this note?
SPEAKER_03:And they're like, no, I'm asking, bow, wow, what a wow, wow, wow.
SPEAKER_02:Can I use the bathroom? You know, but in Spanish class, you're like, I'm like, may I use the bathroom? Like the baño? I'm like, oh my god. I do know a couple words. I know like izquierda, derecha. I remember those two words, and I have been drunk in an Uber saying it, and the the guy was like, I don't speak, and I'm like derecha. Okay, and so I went to this uh I met to a Mexican grocery store, and um I I'm the I was like the whenever I went to go get the chicken, I'm like it they don't speak English, and I don't speak Spanish. I like well, I almost wanted to show them my grades. I almost wanted to show them my Spanish grades, and it's and but I I literally almost didn't get to eat because I was like because I didn't want to say pollo because I feel like they would have known I was like I like all I was doing was cutting out Hermanos. I was cutting out her manos because I feel like they could tell that I was saying like a pollo hermano. So I didn't want to, I was like, can I get uh no it was and I was like I was gonna get chicken, but I also wanted I had no idea how to say beef, and I'm definitely not gonna be like I'm like I don't so I just go, can I get uh and I was like trying to say the amount or whatever, and she kind of smiled and then looked behind her, and then I was like, I I don't need to eat, it's okay. And I just like started like walking like down away, and I was like, man, I really need to like just be like just say two or two pounds and then point, and I was so I we were doing that. We we did we just used our fingers, we were using fingers is the the universal language, and so we were like two and she's like this. I'm like, no. And uh it's the only it's the only store I'm gonna go to now because it was incredible, dude. We got we got the beef, we got the we got the chicken, and they both tasted so fucking good. I'm not sure, maybe it was like a whatever, but like I feel like sometimes when you get food from like Walmart, like I don't know. I it definitely has like it definitely has something in there that's not all chicken. Like I feel like every time you eat, every time you eat it, you're like, okay, I think they're testing new microplastics in this. They're like, how much can we shove in before someone dies? Like, I don't know. They're like, well, it's not that much. Um so yeah, I went I went there and I would I just and then I started like walking around, and it's like everything, there's a lot of stuff that is written in English, but just no one speaks English, and I don't speak Spanish, and the whole time I was like, Man, I really should have paid attention in class. But like, I mean, that's if I would have paid attention in Spanish class just for this one moment, I do still think if I would have like got been like the best in my class at it, I still think I would have had trouble getting chick in there. But I'm gonna keep going back and practicing. That's what I'm gonna do. That's what I'm gonna keep going back and practicing, but I'm also not gonna be that guy that like you can tell that I'm practicing. Do you know what I'm talking about? Like, I'm not gonna go out and be like, hola! Like I'm not gonna be, I'm not gonna be a nightmare. Um, because also, is it I can't, I I I sincerely don't know this because I remember when I was speaking, like trying to speak Spanish. Like, are is it am I supposed to talk speak like me, or am I supposed to like barr and do all like the those things? Because like Tatum will do that sometimes. Like, people be like, where are you from? I'm from the Mechaco. I'm like and I I'm here's she's share that, but I I'm like I it just makes me laugh because I always dude, I always think of that. Mike, there's a comedian Mike McCray, and he had a joke where he's like, Yeah, no, people we don't do that with everything. He goes, we don't do that with like MacDonald's. Oh, you go to the Scottish place, McDonald's. Um, I just think that's funny. Oh yeah, so I'm not gonna be the guy. I'm not gonna be like over the top.
SPEAKER_03:I'm not gonna walk into the Mexican grocery like hola, muchachos and niños.
SPEAKER_02:Um I don't I can't I'm trying to think of all the uh Mi pero Mi pero's loco You don't have a dog I know I know I know um but yeah I just I want to go there because it's so much better than when you go to a Walmart where everyone speaks your language but no one will talk to you. Hi, excuse me, can you help me? And they dude, I love I love being at like a Walmart where you're like, dude, God, I gotta ask this because I think they're starting to keep like shampooed by the electronics now. I don't know what the fuck. I have no idea what's going on. So you'll see someone like a Walmart like vest, and you're like, excuse me, and you watch them and you can you see their shoulders hurt you. Do you know what I'm talking about? Like you'd be like, excuse me, and you see their shoulders are like, hey, and they're and their brains like shut the fuck out of shoulders, just keep walking.
SPEAKER_03:Excuse me? Do you guys have paper towels anymore? Did you guys stop doing paper towels?
SPEAKER_02:That's a thought I'll have. Like, if the paper towels aren't where I think they are, like where they should be, I go, they just don't have that anymore. That made more sense to me. Like, dude, I was literally looking for shampoo and I couldn't find it. I could only find lotion and body wash. And I kept going around that area and like circling it, and then eventually I had to ask, I was like, excuse me. And you could tell she was nice. There was a lady that was so nice. Oh, and you know why? Because she did she didn't really speak very good English. Um, or she did, and I just couldn't understand her. That's also could have been a thing, but she was so nice. Like, I was like, Where's shampoo? And she's like, No. She's like, we keep it, you gotta go in the cosmetics area, which I didn't know that. How long have they been doing that? Is that like a separate thing? I don't know. Like, I've been you, I'm a guy, and even though I have like long hair, I've been using the same shampoo since like my ex-girlfriend. She had given me some shampoo, and I found it the other day, and I've been using it since my last apartment. I don't know what to tell you. And so eventually you need to get new shampoo, and you're like, what? What the fuck? Being a guy is being a guy is so weird because all of a sudden you're just at the end of a thing just going and you're like, oh shit. I guess I don't want my hair to stink. And then you're like, I guess I gotta go get it. And you're like, Do I need hymns now? Is my hair receding, or is that just what happens with the hair? I don't care about looks. Corner of my head. Oh my god. So, yeah. I'm done with I'm done with Walmarts. I'm only going to um Mexican grocery stores and uh I'm gonna start practicing my Spanish. Not there though. I'm not that's again, I can't stress that enough that I'm not going to show up to their establishments as and then do that like that's it's just not it's not it's not respectful. It's not um that's it. It's mostly just not respectful. Like I'm just gonna go there, like okay, you guys ready? You'll be me. You'll no, you know, you'll be you'll be working at La I don't know what it's called. I'm gonna learn that. That's what I'm gonna learn. And then I'm not gonna like tell them that. I'm not gonna be like, I know what that means outside. Like they're like, oh dang, figure it out. I'm not gonna, I'm not, I'm not trying to do any of that either. I just want to go in there and hi. Like I'm next, so you get to say something so big. Hi. See, I already fucked up. Um and I and then you still think because it's like if I talk too, you know, dos. I don't know how to say pounds. What do you think? I want what let me try, let me take a guess. What would pounds be? Um bas uh dos lobas. Uh because even if you try, like I, you know, and if people you might be like, you shouldn't try. I never get mad if someone's trying to speak English to me and can't. You know, I'm like, what? Go ahead, what'd you say? Um go ahead, what? Unless you unless you're calling them on the phone, and then eventually if they're like being rude to you, they're like, no, you're like, I really just want to know if this is a fraudulent check.
SPEAKER_01:But anyway, so you hola dos lobas, uh key. I don't think I'm supposed to say a key there. Um uh boy oh wait, where do you put the chicken two pounds?
SPEAKER_02:Is that no I don't they do something with that, and I don't I I don't think I have to give a verb. I don't think I have to give a verb if I don't know the person. I don't think if I if I don't know you, I don't think I have to give any verbs. I think just saying dos lobas, dos lobas, polios, and I won't say armos, but I will be thinking it the entire time. Oh god. Yeah, I do like a good ass little cute ass little grocery store. And oh dude, all the food was like so much more fresh, and then I asked for it, and she gave me the beef and the chicken like in like a grocery bag. Like they basically like they put it in a bag, they spin it around, they put a sticker on it, and I love that. Why? Because I'm 35 and sometimes you run out of things to be excited about. So you start getting excited about like how they package things or like uh like I I'm at the age now where like when uh like whatever it's like how it's made comes on, like I I feel like I have to I get FOMO if I don't watch that. I'm like oh my god, I get I do need to know how like I do need to know how toilet seats are made. Yes, I need yes, on a large scale, I need to know how the top of the shitters are made. Not proud of it, but I do. Hang on, I need to check something really quick. I just need to make sure that no one's trying to call me. And no one is, and no one is. Um that sounded so sad. I just wanted to make sure that no one's trying to reach out to me, and I was correct. Um, no, uh Tatum. Um yeah, Tatum thinks I'm coming to uh pick her up from the airport because she thought it was like too late and uh for her husband and her daughter, but they can't wait to see her. So they're like, dude, we'll go pick her up, just let her know. Um, you know, like let her think that you're doing it. Which is so it is fun to me, but I don't I don't have a good relationship with lying, if that makes sense. Like I'm not, it's not like uh it's not it doesn't, it's not clothes that fits well on me. I don't wear it well, even whenever it's like a fib like this. Like I'm kind of like uh I'm kind of like uh what's that that sketch from SNL where she's like and she like can't hold it in. I'm like, I'm a little like that, and so, but it's just for like the truth or whatever. Like I'm just like I'm like, oh, I'm I'm parked right now. She's like, I know I'll pay for your parking if you have to wait for too long. I'm like, oh it's fine, you know, I'll just I'll park and I'll wait. You just let me know your terminal A, right? And then someone like texting, I'm like, you're terminal A. And so you have to like figure out, you know, where uh everything is, and I like doing that, but it feels a little dismissive. Like I did that to uh I did that to my buddy D. I was talking to him on the phone and he didn't know I was like on my way to New Jersey. And he was running an open mic that night. I was like, dude, I want to come out to that mic. Little did he know. Michael's coming to the microphone. So yeah, that was uh it was it was plenty, it was plenty of fun to. To send them underway and not and also not have to drive anywhere, because I my back it well had a rough day today. We had a rough we had a rough go. I've been working it out, which I think kinda happens. I think sometimes you work it out. And because I've been working it out, it's been feeling better, but then it it rebounds tenderness or whatever the fuck it is. Um and it just fucking it did not feel good today. I had to like lay down. I'd like to lay down and listen to cold play.
SPEAKER_03:Like I literally had to lay down and put my knees up, and I'm like, when you try your best, but you don't sex when you get what you want, but not what you need. When your back fucking hurts and you can't sleep stuck in your bed, so my it's my bone, and I will try to fix it. Stretch it, stretch it, stretch it, stretch it, go for a walk and not sleep ever again. Oh my god, my dad, don't jump it.
SPEAKER_02:So it was a bad uh it was a bad back day, but uh, you know what I did is I just uh fucking pushed right through it, and um I kind of realized that me not being on the road and not having to drive has been giving me um like that feeling. That feeling back of like, oh my own back doesn't have to hurt all the time. Because you're not supposed to sit, like I've heard, and I also like um there's a lot of dude, there's a lot of things that can happen to your dairy air from sitting too much. And I am a long shitter, we know this. I am a long distance driver, we know this. And I also um I am good company, so I'm usually sitting on um what would be a very cool, comfy couch, which is never good for your back. And I'm here's the thing if one more fucking person if I say I'm like, I'm not that tall, like I'm not that short. That's what you say to short people and stop doing it. And so, but I'm just not I'm not couch tall, I'll tell you that. You don't have to be that tall, but I'm definitely not couch tall. My femurs didn't get enough milk when I was a little boy. My mom let a company feed me their formula instead of giving me her tits. You wanted your mom's tits? I used to. I used to be a little gay for my mom's tits. And she put me in conversion therapy and made me just drink formula. Um, what a fun day. The uh what the fuck was I talking about? Um I was talking about my back, talking about my mom's tits, um and my finger. Oh, yeah, I'm not tall enough for a couch. I like sit on a couch and I have to do that thing where I'm like I pret like you can either do if you're short, like you can either do this. You can either sit on a couch and you can own it, but like even owning it isn't comfortable because then you kind of have to do this, and your legs kind of have to like fucking just sit out a little bit, and that's not very comfy, and then you kind of scoot to the edge of it, and you kind of pretend like you're like I kind of you you'll see me do this thing. It's like I kind of sit on the edge as if I'm like um maybe a pastor, but like kind of like a cool pastor, kind of hanging out. I'm just like and the whole time you're just you're just like, man, I really if I slouch backwards, everyone's gonna think that I'm the same fucking height I really am. But if I sit like this, they might think I'm a pastor or something. Uh so you have to sit like that, and that fucking sucks. I would I would love to uh God, I would love to be tall and sit on a couch, just fucking sit in the back, put my arm like this, and then ask for a beer and someone brings it. If you fit in a couch, they'll bring you a beer. I can't have my feet up in a couch and go, bring me a backlight! I can't. That's crazy. Having my feet up and having someone bring me a butt light, thank you. But if you fit in a couch, you get it and I mean that goes for men and women. If you're a woman and you fit in a couch too, and someone you're like, bring me a butt light, someone will bring you a bud light for real, for real, for real.
SPEAKER_03:When you try your best, but you don't succeed.
SPEAKER_02:I'm actually kind of- I tried to blow all my boogers out before the pod, and I think I got most of them. And I got this one here, but it's clogged, but I don't think it's got I don't think I could uh I would love to end the pod by being like and like fucking just snotting out the screen. Um But we don't have the we don't have the um we don't have the capabilities for something like that. We don't have the boogers. We don't have the technology, the booger technology right now. But um uh what we do have is an oil diffuser, and I bought this oil diffuser um with the intention of um making my whole room smell good. I was like, let me get like an oil diffuser, and I'll tell you what it does. It doesn't really make a room, it doesn't really make a room smell good. What it will do is every couple seconds make you go, God damn, that's a lot of fucking winter green or whatever. It's like you'll just be like, whoa! And then it'll just go back to smelling like nothing. And I kept it on the other night while I was sleeping, and I kept having dreams that I was like, in a forest, and then nothing.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, and then a forest, and then nothing. Wow, what a beautiful nothing!
SPEAKER_02:That's a kind of uh that's what an oil diffuser will do. Um, also, I think it does this. I found this out today. I think it blows out even though it's not a real flame. Does that make sense? Like I'm touching it, it's not hot. But watch. Wait, yeah, see? That's kind of cool, right? That's kind of cool. What is this, a fucking promo for oil diffusers? No, I just thought that was kind of cute that they like how they how does that work? That's not hey, put that on how it's made. Let me get some of that oil. Hey, can I get some of that diffused oil? Thank you. Do you like to do dabs? No, I um dude. Also, what's really funny is uh whenever like things that are sold for weed have to be sold as if they're for something else. And like there's like a dab rig thing, and I love whenever people are like, and by the way, um, like you'll go to like a like a um you know, like a weed store, like a head shop. You go to a head shop, and uh dude, anytime I'm looking for like, you know, some weed paraphernalia, some or there's always like a part where you'll be you'd like because I like to ask about the dabs, and they're like, oh, just so you know, too, and it's like an oil diffuser, and you can like fly with this too. Like if they ask what this is, you're like, oh, it's an oil diffuser, and you're like, who in the fuck needs to diffuse oils in fucking Phoenix, Arizona? Who's traveling with an oil diffuser? Probably someone also traveling with a bong. If this really is an oil diffuser, then I am gonna check the rest of your shit. What is this thing that says dabberinos on it? Oh, that that's just for um, that's just so that I can sm uh smell lemon. That oh, that that whole contraption that has a thing, and on the outside it says it's a bunch of smoke, and it's a little guy smoking, a little gremlin smoking. That right there is so that I can have the a little bit of rosemary smell as soon as I land in Nebraska. Okay, carry on. Thank you so much. Oh my god. Also, can we uh it's I think it's been long enough, I don't know how to say this, but like can we I know it's for national safety, and I get that, but like we've we've been so good for so long, not even us, and it wasn't even us that did this, you know, a few bad apples, you know, might uh might have taken might have uh done some bad deeds at an airport. Can we make can we just take a couple swings at like what if we just are allowed to just go to because it are everything else already sucks, it already feels enough like a train station, like the the the the luxury of flying. Like I know people that are like, yeah, if I go to the if I go to the airport, I still dress nice. Yeah. If I go to the airport, I still dress nice. I'm like, oh really? Okay, cool. Well, um, I don't, mostly because I don't like to yell at a suit. Bobby, you yell at a suit. No, there's a difference between yelling at someone and then someone not listening, and then you get to do like the okay. I do like those. So you're telling me you can't give me a refund, but I'm supposed to go outside in a blizzard and there's no cars left. Well, I we are we're not allowed to legally tell you that, but legally we can't legally not tell you legally that. And I'm like, this is and then if one more person's like, you drive all over the country, I would only fly. Well, that's cool. You probably don't do it that much. That was such a good fart. I'm actually scared to talk back into this. Stinky Bob, you fucking stinker. I'm selling this microphone if you want it. Oh no, it's definitely not the microphone, but it is the area. Hey, this oil diffuser should really kick in right now. Oh my god. Oh, dude, I was since we're talking about if like with TSA and the old diffuser, all this. Oh my god, dude. I would love, I need to save because I do get pulled up. I do get pulled. I have been pulled. I guess I maybe I travel that much or whatever, but like I'll get pulled. And they do, they fucking grab your nuts. They they get up in there, and I would just love to have a fart ready to go. Like the next time they go up into your nuts, just to just a little wouldn't that be incredible?
SPEAKER_01:Just a little, ha, I'll say a little before you. Then I get on a flight that will not go yet, it is delayed again. But while we on the tarmac, this sucks.
SPEAKER_02:Ladies and gentlemen, just so you know, we are uh is there a class on teaching you how to talk like the idea if like if chat GPT was talking like a cool guy? Uh like where does that come from? Ladies and gentlemen, I would just like to let you know. And then also, I don't need your jokes. Every one in 25 will get a good joke. I don't, I do not need your jokes. Now I'm not, and I'm not trying to sound like I'm a comedian, like I'm better than I'm like, oh you just gotta. I'm just like you have better jokes, which you're not allowed to have because there's children on the plane, so you can't be like, hey, who's fucking going to Vegas? Dip shit. Like you can't do that. But I don't like when you get on the you get on there and they're like, all right, every like everyone's here is going to like Oklahoma City. But you get on the flight and they're like, oh, hey, everybody here ready to go to Cancun. Just kidding, you're going to a worst place. That's not okay to do. I already know I'm not making money in the city I'm going to. Don't remind me of other places on the planet. Because in this is my point. I think the joke would work if he was like, hey, here, everybody ready to go get sucked off in connectity. That's fucking funny. Hey, schinectity, you want to get sucked out. If the if the pilot was allowed to do that or get on and like burp and then go, oh, ladies and gentlemen. Just kidding, I'm not drunk. Would love it. But they don't, they can't do that. They're not. Jesus Christ, Bob. What did you eat for dinner? Fucking farts. But the thing is. Okay, well, the diffuser on. Um fuck. Oh, it smells like it smells like pine needles and Bob's ironhole. Um it smells like pine needles and old chicken nuggets. So the the point is if you're if you're not allowed to be funny, I don't really need your jokes. And then also what I really hate is when they say the joke, and so dude, so many fucking losers. And I don't say that word lightly. I I because I like the word loser, I but I mean this in a real like fucking low life idiot. Hey, everyone ready to go to Cancun? Fucking doing this with a baby on their knee? Am I ready to go to Cancun? Like, I can't handle that. I really can't. I cannot. And dude, and I was I was on a flight where a guy was like trying to talk to me, and I was like, bro, I was just like, I almost like was like, dude, I don't want to talk to you. And I that I knew that was mean, but I also knew he had nothing to say. And I know that sounds shitty, like you shouldn't just talk to people if you can get something from them. So I talked to the guy. I just did the thing that you said in your head the fucking you wish you could say to me. I did it so good, good on you. The thing you wanted to do happened. So I did talk to him so long, and then he said, I don't know, I think I was talking about this on the bonus episode, I don't remember, but I he was like, Oh yeah, you're a comedian? I'm like, Yeah, I am, yes, I yes, I am a comedian. And we kept talking about him, and then we kept talking about him, and then eventually he goes, You can probably talk about this in your comedy act. And I was like, What? And he's like, ha ha how annoying some guy was next to you wouldn't stop talking, and I'm like, Well, where is the punchline? And he goes, Well, I don't know, I figured you can make them funny or whatever. And I'm like, Alright, cool. I got some teeth. Why don't you fucking go fucking put some of those in your mouth? Um, anyway, he didn't have teeth. Which also is that I want to find like it's we're not far away from a billionaire who doesn't have teeth. And I'm not talking, like, I'm just saying, like, there's gonna be a guy that's like, well, I made a billion dollars eating teeth.
SPEAKER_03:No, I ain't getting teeth. I'm a billionaire. What do I need teeth for? I got a billion dollars. You think I'm gonna go dance something? No, I'm gonna go can't with this logan, and I'm gonna fly out the point.
SPEAKER_02:Oh my god. Dude. There's a billion it's to me, uh, whenever I think about billionaires, I kind of think of billionaires in the same way as like a I mean literally like a like a villain from like a comic book. Like, I'm like, they don't seem real. Dude, I've had I've had such the low, I've had the most money I've had would be the least amount of money to like a lot of people. And I've I felt so guilty with that money. I was like, oh there's people that could really use it or whatever, and then you'll hear someone be like, Man, one time I just I I only made$80,000 one year. Like, you mean one year or all the years of your life? When you say you mean all the years of your life, or what? So that's just that's just how I feel. Anyway, that's the pod. Um, thank you so much, and uh thank you for listening. Thank you for joining the Patreon to everyone on the Patreon. Thank you so much. Um I really appreciate the love, and it really does go a long way. And you can join for as little as a dollar. Um, and you can buy merch on my website. You can also come out and see me do a show. You can also uh send me an oil diffuser. That's not so much better than my farts. Love ya, kisses. Bye.
SPEAKER_00:Bye.
SPEAKER_03:Oh shit.