Ep. 112: Splinters in a Sunset

A sunset, a splinter, and a 24-hour solo drive collide with the loudest kind of joy: watching your favorite band turn a release show into a family reunion. I hit record in a field as the light dropped and ended the night backstage at Story of the Year’s album celebration, where kids took the stage, a proposal stole the breath from the room, and the music hit like a brand-new memory that somehow already knows your name.

We start with chaos—the mic slipping, a four-wheeler buzzing past, and my hand bleeding from a stubborn shard of wood—then pivot into the road trip that pulled me to St. Louis. I share the comedy of my first-ever CD signing gone sideways and the quiet shock of seeing a well-worn album fly apart in my hands. The show itself turned into something bigger than nostalgia: Dan’s daughter stepping to the mic, Ryan’s son gripping the pink guitar for Until the Day I Die, and delivering with laser focus. There’s nothing like the split second before a kid jumps; the whole room leans in and then erupts.

Backstage, the night softened into the kind of gratitude you don’t plan. I traded bits with friends I’ve known for years, compared favorite comics with Jared McGuire, and watched the “never meet your heroes” myth evaporate. The new record found its footing in real time—Gasoline, See-Through, Disconnected, and My Religion spiked the adrenaline—and I talk about why one track gets a quiet skip while the rest keep looping. First listens are always a gamble; this one pays off where it counts, with hooks you carry out into the dark.

By the end, the field is humming, the family on the four-wheeler blurs into the distance, and I’m left with the kind of night that rewires your week. If you’ve ever loved a band enough to cross state lines, or needed music to make sense of your mess, this story’s for you. Tap play, ride shotgun through the chaos, and tell me your top tracks from the record. If the episode hit, share it with a friend, subscribe for more, and leave a quick review—it helps us keep the lights on and the stories rolling.

Transcript

Cold Open And Sunset Setup

unknown 0:02

Recording? Come on, recording.

SPEAKER_01 0:05

You're recording, right? I guess a button.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

I didn't bring something to sit on. Make sure. I'm recording. Because it's kind of my job.

SPEAKER_03 0:26

Hello. Welcome back. It's another episode of Discombobulated, the podcast that you're like, oh shit, I really thought he stopped. Fuck. For a second I really thought he really hung it up. For a second I thought he really put his skates back in his locker. For a second I thought he took his taekwondo belt off and cut it up into little pieces and hid it in the walls. Nope. He's back. And I found this beautiful sunset.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

And I wanted to share it with you. To tell you that I have a new path in life.

Splinter Saga And Field Recording

SPEAKER_03 1:12

And it's following Jesus Christ. And you're like, oh, you're religious now? I'm like, no, I met a guy named Jesus the other day, and he had some pretty good points. I think we just might hang out. When give my life to Christ. Me too. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about a guy I met at a guy at a place called O'Callahans. Does your Jesus drink beers? Yeah, if Jesus came back, they would there would definitely be a team around him and they'd have to be like, hey, listen, we're not, I know it's not like I know you don't you're not selling like CDs or anything, but we do think it would help sales if you uh threw a couple back, God's son. Um is it cool if I call you that? What do you want me to call you? Jesus. Um, but I mean, god damn, if if his dad doesn't give us some of the most beautiful sunsets you ever did see. Um, they might even look cooler on other planets, not ours, but on other planets. What you ever think of what a sunset looks like there? Fuck. You ever think about a sunset on Mars? Fuck. You ever think about a sunset on Jupiter? Come on. Which one is that? I forgot. Um but it's uh yeah, I have a splinter in my hand. That's the thing that really sucks right now. Is every time I keep trying to adjust the microphone, because I I was playing around in the woods. I grabbed a little piece of log. I was like, this is good for a phone tripod. You could probably just set up your podcast right here. Fuck, dude. If I didn't get that fucker just so deep. Bobby, get uh pliers. Or no. Yeah, get pliers and fucking rip it off. No, I need to get tweezers, but I don't have it, so I think I'm either gonna have to suck it up or try one more time. Here, let's go one more try. He tries until he stops. Bobby, that's the beginning of this episode.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

Fucking around Splinter bitch.

SPEAKER_03 3:18

You ever hear Splinter and keep doing there? People work like keep doing your job, you're like, yes, actually. I work at McDonald's, and if I slack for even a moment, the monster known as Ronald McDonald that we haven't seen in years, he comes on and eats me, kind of like the clown from it. People might think what I just did was gross, but hey, guess what's not in my fucking hand anymore?

SPEAKER_02 3:43

The splinter.

Road Trip To St. Louis

SPEAKER_03 3:49

Yeah, I just got back. I got back from St. Louis, went to St. Louis.

SPEAKER_02 3:53

St. Louis, Missouri.

SPEAKER_03 3:55

Home of um home of uh the City Museum and Story of the Year, which is that's where I went. I went to go see their show. I drove 12 hours there, 12 hours back, and in between I watched them play and sign my albums. Because they legally have to sign them if you ask them to, if they if you signed, if you bought one of the albums. Um I was gonna go to Mardi Gras too. I actually was gonna go to Mardi Gras. And then I had I had this like epiphany that I was like, if I'm at Mardi Gras looking at tits, and then thinking like I could be seeing stories of year right now. I'm gonna be honest, that would bum me out. And I know you might be thinking, Bobby, you don't seem like you like tits. I love tits.

CD Signing And Superfan Moments

SPEAKER_02 4:55

I love tits. Everybody loves tits. Not many people hate tits. I've had gay friends over the year, yeah, I said it.

SPEAKER_03 5:10

And they've uh they've even told me they like tits. The thing they don't like is the vagina. They're like, it's scary. And then they give you a shark tank um like sales pitch of like, but I'll tell you this, you know you ever had dick, and you're like, no, they're like, oh, it's so much better than what you're than what you're describing. I like women. Well, we don't and join our club, which is weird because like I'm not trying to it's that is funny that I do feel like straight, we're like the only ones that are not trying to like get people over into being like uh straight. The only people that do that are gay priests and churches. They're like, hey, you can't be gay, we kiss boys. We're kissing the boys, then you're getting in our chair. That's why you can't be gay in a church, is because then you would be like, they'd be like, oh fuck, dude, they probably like that guy more than me because I I mean I dress the same every day. Black clothes, white collar makes zero sense. No one's ever explained it once. I grew up Catholic. What's the collar mean? Could have no idea. But I know that they they're a select few that get to fucking after a long hard day, a priest gets to fucking rip that collar off. It doesn't go all the way around, it just slides in. It's a very stupid. It's how you know you're like, hey, are you a man of God?

SPEAKER_02 6:33

Look at my neck.

On Tastes, Identity, And Taboo Jokes

SPEAKER_03 6:39

Don't get a throat tattoo. Get a whatever that's called. Whatever the whatever pre whatever priests have. Which is a problem with fucking kids. I you got really gotta knock that off. Like honestly, with these Epstein files, they're like, they're copying the church. They're like, we'd be been doing this for forever. Epstein guy. We've been the we've been villains forever. For forever. Forever. You think you can just get in here because you got a couple trapdoors and you hung out with the now current president of the United States of Americano? You ever think about that? Thank you. I love tits. I forgot. I don't know if I told you guys that. Um man. Uh, what was I talking about? Oh, yeah. So I drove, I drove uh from Texas to Missouri to go see sort of their album release. And uh, you know what I've never done in my entire life is go to like a CD signing. Because when I was younger, I don't think even if I wanted to, my parents would have taken me to see that. Bobby, don't I'm just being I'm I am allowed to know things that you don't know about me and that didn't happen to you. But I did like never want to do that, and I saw CD signing, so I was like, I'll just go do that. So I got I bought the CD and the album. And then while I'm standing in line, there, you know, I'm like talking to their story of the year fans, some I know, some I don't know. And then a guy hands me one of their albums, it's called The Constant, which everyone shits on, and I might be the mother of that album because I love it more than anything. I don't care what you guys think of that album. Oh, it's part of our family, and we should treat it as such. Who cares if none of no one else likes it? Into the waves again I go. I mean, that's how I traveled. If I've ever been heartbroken, I go through waves. But I uh, you know, I love that album, and there's a guy who had it signed. He's like, Oh yeah, I just got it signed, and then I'm gonna the only thing I need to get like it was like I have one more person have it signed, and he's like, Hey, do you want to check it out? And he handed it to me. And the only way it would have fallen apart more is if it would have been like Thanos would have snapped his fingers and the constant would have been part of the thing that like disappeared. The album just I think that's a piece of shit. Um on the ground. But and he handed it to me and it opened up, the CD fell on the ground, the the booklet f flew away, everything fell apart. He's like, no. And I was like, and luckily it landed like face down so that the ass was up or whatever, the part that like plays the song. Not the picture side, the picture side went down, so then I got I I got to pick that up and look at a guy who looked like he was like, you know when someone like they just they look at you in a way where they're like, we're lucky we live in a society. Cause otherwise I might overreact right now, but we're not allowed to. Why? Because no one else is. Don't overreact. Said everyone overreacting. God damn, that's a beautiful song of shit. God damn, am I right? Or are you wrong? But it's uh yeah, so I got to go to the CD signing, got those signed. That's some other story the year fans, people I haven't seen in a while because I grew up in that area, so you got to see people you grew up with, and they had their show, and it was uh it was incredible. It was so much fun. It's uh they they played, you know, songs from the new album, they you know, songs they've done, but the coolest shit was they they uh they had their kids come on stage, and so like Dan's daughter came on stage and sang with him, and then Ryan the guitar player, his son came out and played guitar with him, and uh that ruled. Like there was something about like we were sitting side stage, and then all of a sudden I look over and I see because also I mean I know this band very well, so I know all of Ryan guitars Ryan's guitars, and whenever they had the setup, I looked over and I didn't see his pink guitar. I'm like, where the fuck is that guitar? And then at the end, for Until the Day I Die, his son was standing there with it, and I was like, Oh, sick, dude. And this kid was so fucking zoned in. You have to know what it's like to play guitar, and I've never like been like in a band and like playing on stage, but like I don't believe, neither has this kid. And so to go out on stage at the pageant with like everyone singing along, everyone's so excited, and he killed it, dude. He like got to walk out there, and you could just see he was like on noodling with the guitar, and then they're like, You ready? And he's like and you could just see he was so fucking stoked, and then he got to go out there and uh yeah, dude, fucking murdered it. And then he got off stage and his dad was like, dude, Ryan was like, fucking perfect. He was like trying to do that thing where you don't know, like when you're a kid, you want to be an adult so bad, and you think that if you act just right, like everyone will kind of think that you're like 25 years old. That's just what you do. So he's like, I just played guitar out there, my dad said, and then you're like and then I was like, I just like I saw a kid just be like so happy, and when you don't know what to do, like that because that feeling kind of that's a fleeting feeling as you get older, so it's cool to see them like share that with them. And then it was Valentine's Day, and our friends Jeff and Mary, they went out there and he had convinced Mary that she was gonna sing along with Dan. They're gonna go out there and they're gonna do this like they're like ah sing along thing. But then Jeff's gonna be behind and kneel down and propose. So she got to come on stage and sing with them, and then they got engaged. Congrats to uh Jeff and Mary. So cool. But you know, so she got to sing on stage, which is cool. But I'll tell you this I'll fucking marry Jeff if you let me sing on stage with you guys. Jesus Christ. Is that all I have to do is marry Jeff? I'm basically gay by the way. I yam.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

I am what I am, and I am what I am, I am a gay man.

Backstage Joy And Family Moments

SPEAKER_03 13:01

With huge fucking forearms just like Popeye. I got fucked, dude. I got I do have forearms for days, dude. I'm so strong. I'm so strong I've broken a crowbar. Oh my god, have I told you guys that already? Anyway, I'll probably bring it up six more times. But um, but um bum bum bum bum bum. I uh yeah, I just I had so much fun being able to like be around their and what's crazy is like I know like their families. Like when I go backstage, I'm like talking with like Ryan's wife, and we're like like we're doing bits because she's fucking cool, she's very, very cool. And then um Dan's wife Jenny, her parents were there and they love me. They came out backs, they came outside, saw me, lit the fuck up. You know how special that feels for the the families to know you, and it just feels good. And I'm not I uh it's not a uh it's not a braggadocious thing because like I don't even uh like even once I got it when I get a backstage pass, I just kind of go back into the audience. I was like having the opportunity to go backstage and make a couple dick jokes and then come back out. But uh I was just feeling very lucky because also that night because it was their CD release, um, there was a guy who I love, his name's Jared McGuire, and he is the brother of this girl Aaron I dated in high school. And that like he knew Story of the Year, and the story was that he had held Ryan had held the guitar player, had held Aaron and dropped her on her head when they were like a kid, and that's why she was like so dumb that she's like, I'll date Bobby. But like when we were that's how I got into Story of the Year, like I knew of them, but that's when I really started like getting into them, and she gave me like some of their old CDs. So her brother was there, and I got to say hi to him. We're doing bits, we're saying what's up, and then there was just like a moment where I was feeling very like fun and like I was just feeling lucky and I didn't know what to do, and we were just like standing there, and I was just like, Well, how dude, how have you been? And like we started talking, we're catching up, and then I started asking about comedy. I was like, What comedians do you like? And he started describing one. He goes, Dude, there's this guy, I don't know. He does this thing with like his like a members only jacket where he like pulls it up, but like kind of and I'm like, That's Roy Scovel, that's literally my favorite comedian. And I put my arm up like this, and I was like, chills, and I he saw I had goosebumps. I was like, dude, I'm backstage with my favorite band, talking to Jared McGuire, this dude who when I was like a kid, he was like the first older brother that I met that like he's so tatted up, he kind of like looked scary, but he was just like a silly dude and was like cool. He didn't like give me that older brother, like this is my sister. Like, we just like fucking hung out by the pool, and like he was like a funny, silly dude guy doing bits, and to be back there, and I'm like, What's your favorite comic? And he's like, Where's there was just like a universal moment where I felt super like uh I guess just grateful. I don't know, for uh for no other reason than to just be grateful. Cause sometimes feeling grateful feels a little gay, like sometimes you're like, you know what I'm grateful for? You're like fucking tits and fucking asses, let's fucking go. I love fucking sex, like but like sometimes you do it. It is nice to be grateful. Like the other day I was grateful. I was like, you know what I'm grateful for? I was like, I haven't gotten like a ticket in a while. And then someone in front of me got pulled over, and I was like, see, if I would have been grateful, I would have been dead.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

I would have been dead.

Proposal On Stage And Gratitude

Four-Wheeler Interruption And Field Chaos

SPEAKER_03 16:23

I don't know if you guys can hear the crickets, probably not, because the app, the thing I use to like edit this, fucking sucks. Takes all the fun out. I was like, can you leave the ocean ways? It's like no, no, we can't do that. Does it make it sound beautiful? No. You have to figure it out. Well, I can't figure it out. Well, we'll figure it out. Bobby, are you literally talking about how you produce the podcast on your own podcast? Yes, but I actually I swear to god, if I just said I thought an ant bit my nut, you wouldn't believe me. But just feel weird by my nuts. Is that poop? Is that shit in poop right there? Because I kind of touched it earlier. I'm not gonna I don't want to touch it, but I do want to find out if it's poop. It might be prehistoric. No, it's a rock. Okay, cool. And then what's this? What's this? That's not poop? Okay. Just two things that look like poop. Sorry, you guys look like poop. Alright, I'll put that back. Would you rather be covered in poop or piss? Put your hands together and let me try a little bit of both of those fucking things. No, I don't mean that. Is that person pissing over there? I can't say they're just standing towards it. No, no, no, they were just standing like that for some reason. Sorry. And no judgment. Hey, if you want to take a piss, um, that's fine. But it is weird to do it while you can see someone like clearly recording. Maybe that's their kink. They look for podcasts to go piss in front of. Get a little bit of like a little piss up. Um sorry, no, I've been in a car by myself for fucking 24 hours just listening to the same Arson album over and over. And I know it sounds like I'm that there's the complaint about the album, but I love the album. The complaint is how tired I am, and then I was like, you know, I have to do a podcast. I have to do my job. I have to accomplish tasks. Why? Because I'm a per dude, wouldn't it be funny if every animal in the kingdom of heaven or every animal had to like get tasks done? And like there was fat birds and like fucking like crickets that cut their wrists or whatever. Like, there's just you know, and you just saw everyone else struggle, but you don't. We're the only ones that are like, we're so smart, we have jobs. The rest of nature doesn't let the rest of nature is so punk rock it doesn't let anything tell it what to do. And we're like, you're stupid. Do you know what a big, big house is? And like animals are like, this whole whole thing is our house, and they're like, Well, if it rains, don't come crying to me, because you can't cry inside, because that's why I have a roof. We don't want wet in here. We keep dry outside. Fuck dry inside, wet outside. Unless we're talking about fucking pussy again. No, I'm just kidding with pussy talk. I'm just Joe, I'm just Joshing you. Um Yeah. What was because yeah, that was the uh that was the highlights, and I guess I'm trying to think of I try to think of like what to what because I could talk about them so long-windedly, and I don't know which things to say that are like the most important or whatever, but one of the one of the cool things is when you go to these shows, a lot of times like afterwards, like Dan and them like we'll come hang out for a little bit, and there's like a part where like everyone's hanging out and talking, and then everyone gets so fucked up that eventually everyone has to leave, and then Dan Wy Dan's wife was like, Hey, we have to we have to go, it's time to like go. And it is cool to like they say, like, never meet your heroes. Dan is a dude I've looked up to forever, and I didn't know he was gonna be this fucking funny. And while his wife was like, We have to go, he goes, and he was doing that thing where he's staring at her and he was like trying to be like, Yeah, let's go, but like also, I don't know which way you want me to go right now. And we all like just started like laughing, and there's like those are the moments that are like so much better than you know ever getting to play guitar with them on stage, and I don't care. And then now I swear to god, they if they could call me right now and they'd be like, Okay, Bobby, we're ready for you to do it. I'm like, why haven't been practicing? Because I thought we were joking about it, and I don't even care anymore. It's for it's for kids. Let's let kids do it. I don't need to come out as a 35-year-old man looking like he made a made-a-wish, and they're like, they're going older now. They got they kind of expanded it. They should do make-a-wishes for other age groups, you know what I mean? Like a 50-year-old that fucking gets like robotic legs and can fucking like run and hump again. Or like uh yeah, like a th like a 32-year-old that gets to um uh yeah, play guitar instead or whatever. I'm 35, so I was trying to think of a different thing, but even when I was 32, I want to do but yeah, just like yeah, like letting like yeah, like getting on the back of Tony Hawk and doing a 900 or something like that, like while he spins, you just squeeze on real tight. Just something like that would be fun. Just make a wishes for other ages. And then you don't even have to be dying, you just have to be like, you have to be doing not well when you call the make-a-wish. Like if you throw up and you're like in a bathroom, you're gonna call you like I want to skydive off of the arch. Like, excuse me, sir? Like, I call make a wish, I'm gonna skydive off of the St. Louis Arch. Okay, are you dying? Right now, if I can throw up in my own lap. Okay, we will get you signed up. You do have to do it tomorrow. Hung over though. 1040 is the top of the Arch.

SPEAKER_00 21:49

I always thought the words for that were a kid without a father. I know the kid without a father. Because he lost his dad. And I was like, man, they're kinda

SPEAKER_03 22:00

From the day that he lost his father. Is there a car coming towards it? Oh. There gotta be a road over there. No, it's a four-wheeler. It's a four-wheeler, because where I'm at, there aren't roads, and that is a four-wheeler. Please don't come over here and make me move my whole podcast stuff and they'll felt like a little gay boy. Oh, he's gonna make me fucking pull my podcast. He's gonna they're gonna come over here. I know they're coming over here. Great. They're coming over here. They're pointing, and I don't even know which way to go. And I don't even I gotta move. I gotta move for the pod. I gotta move. I'm gonna move for the four-wheeler.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

Sorry, just make it a podcast.

SPEAKER_03 22:46

It sucks. The podcast sucks. Your family seems great. Oh, yeah, just make it a podcast. You can go right in front of it. No, don't go for it. No, you're good. I want to get out of your way so you can still dude. This is way more fun than what I'm doing. Can I get on the back? Alright, later. Can I get on the back, you fucking piece of shit? Did you say that, Bob? That's all 35-year-olds are like, can I get on the back? Right now they're saying the funniest shit to each other, and they're laughing as a family at my fucking stupid ass ass.

SPEAKER_00 23:15

Oh well, that guy over there is more of an idiot.

SPEAKER_03 23:17

No, you're an idiot. No, you're an idiot. Okay. Let's get the whole family on the four-wheeler. See, that's how fast they wanted to go over here, and I took that over from them just to make a fucking stupid little podcast. Watch how fast they go. Oh my god. Oh, it looked okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. They made they just made a turn and it went to I thought, okay, they're fine. What a switch to this episode if I had to um try to remember everything I learned when I was an EMT. Oh, okay. Which one you need's help first? You just flipped over on a motorcycle. I have my book with me. Okay. How are you? One, two, you're breathing. Um that's a terrible thing to say. But I the reason I'm I didn't say that out of nowhere. I thought they were about to flip their fucking four-wheeler. No, they didn't. God, I want a dirt bike so bad. If I had a dirt bike now, knowing that they could ride it here, I would bring that dirt bike through this whole fucking field and rip it up. Now I know just so you guys know, you might be like, oh Bobby, thanks for taking you to your field. This is my very first field I've ever, this is the first time I can't I've been here. And I was like, you know what? I gotta go get my podcast stuff because that's how that's how literally pretty it is. Come on, motherfucker, take it. Go, go, go fast. Three, two, one, go fast for the pod. What if he keeps coming by? Every time he moves, he's like, I mean, this is just what I do with my family. We do this every day, so I don't know what to tell you. You are, I'm like, you know. Hopefully he'll go around us again. I'm not moving. This is a free country. But but you know what we do do in America is we do bow to if you have cooler things, we're like, you are more important, and his his he could just run over my thing anytime he wanted to. I wish he did a wheelie though.

SPEAKER_01 25:22

That would look sick to see him do a wheelie.

SPEAKER_03 25:29

No way. Is he coming back? Okay, cool. It's just every time.

SPEAKER_02 25:36

Oh, no, thank you.

Bowling Alley Debrief And New Music

SPEAKER_03 25:37

No, sorry, thank yes. I've unto Um Where was where was I? Oh, yeah, talking about story of the year, all that stuff, and just how much fun it is and how lucky I am, and just like watching like and it was fun, dude. We all got a little, you don't have done it in a while, it was got a little fucked up. Got a little fucked up at a bowling alley and just made dumb jokes. And that's what we did. We got to do that, and then also off of the new album that they released, which if you have a band that you love, you know how cool it is when they release new music. Because you never you don't ever know how to take it in. That's the that's like you're like, okay, I'm ready. No, I'm not. Yes, I you know, because it's not like you're it's not like you're like, oh, this is my mom's favorite meal, she made it again. It's a brand new meal, and they're not allowed to use any of like the same ingredients, pretty much. Because if you do, I promise you, one of the fans will be like, Dave, that sounds exactly like this. Oh, yeah, me too I think so too. But you know who didn't bring it up? Me, because I love this album. There's only one song on it that I don't like, and I skip it pretty much every time, and I'll never tell. Why would I tell why did why would you talk about the bad things? There's so many good things on that album. There's no reason to focus on the ones you don't like. That's I had a friend say that they're like, What which ones don't you like? And I'm like, I don't let's talk about that another time. I'd like let's talk about the things I do like, which by the way, it's fucking gasoline, see-through, disconnected, obviously, because those two came out first, and then see uh my religion, which dude totally grew on me.

SPEAKER_00 27:10

The first time I heard it, I was like, What the fuck is this thing?

Favorite Tracks And Why They Hit

Sunset Reflections And Late-Night Cravings

SPEAKER_03 27:12

And then I really fell in love with it, sincerely. Then I'm like crying and I'm like putting my hands up. I'm like, I almost started believing in uh you again, my guy, or girl, or a bunch of girls. You die, and it's like it's like you die in the movie American Pie. It's just a bunch of girls with fucking tits. Because I love tits. I have to explain to everybody that I love tits. People are like, you don't have tits. I'm like, ugh. I love them. You know what would make me like e-tits even more is if they could fart. That if they you know what I mean? You go stuck on a tit and then and then it gets a little and you're like yeah. It's like a good defense mechanism. Hey, your tits are beautiful. Oh yeah, well they fucking stink and just fucking kind of eke out your little fart little tits. Oh, is that my tits or my ass? You fart out of both. Dude, that would be so cool if our nipples farted. Yeah, you're just like, oh sorry. It's not like I came out of my tits and my ass that time. Fuck. Oh man, my tits are. I think they need to fart. Because farting feels and here's the thing, if you think, if you're like Bobby, that sounds so stupid. Imagine if only our tits farted and our butts didn't. And if I thought how funny it would be if our butts farted, you would think I was insane. Let's finish watching the sunset together. I think that's it. I think I timed it pretty good. I don't think I can see any more of the sun. It does that thing during a sunset where you're like, God, this feels so good. I want to sit here forever, then it starts getting, it's like done. You're like, oh, okay. Man, moments don't live forever. Fuck, my back hurts. I'll do that when I'm driving too. I'm like, God, everything is so beautiful. And then it gets dark, and you're like, I'm gonna go eat a fucking bunch of uncrustables from a quick trip. Or an unsmuckable or whatever the fuck the off brand is called that's in a square. I love dude. I how do I love competing companies because you have to, I don't know which ones first, and then someone's like, not only are we gonna copy you, but we'll change it so enough that every time you try to sue us, they're like, God damn it. I tried, but I couldn't get it done. This is just like an uncrustables. Well, really? Lay it on top. See if they look the same. That's a square and a circle, buddy. Go ahead and try to fit one of those through the other. Oh, you can't? The insides have peanut butter and jelly. Oh, so you stole from mothers. You stole from mothers making these for forever. We've been making these since we've been living in trees. Since we since we used to be since we used to be monkeys in trees, you just fucking put in an uncrustable. I don't like the crust. Tear it off. We've been doing that for a billion years, is eating fucking uncrustables. I love an uncrustable. I like them frozen too. I like pissing people off when I say that. I don't really like it when it's not that cold. Oh, really? I like to bite into it and it tastes like a coin. I like to bite into it like I'm a giant and I can handle anything in my mouth. Except for cum. Fuck! Everyone thinks I'm so gay. Because that's all I talk about. Well, if you knew where I came from, it's a long line of the horniest people I've ever met. I have like an uncle that, like, if I'd bring a girlfriend over in high school, he'd be like, eh, that's right. I'm like, and back then you'd be like, Yeah, of course, she's hot. And now then you grow up and you're like, Uncle Don. Go put another thing of tobacco in and stop fucking talking to my 16-year-old girlfriend. Oh, wow, what's your mom do? Would stop fucking talking to her. Oh, what a sunset. Thanks for watching it with me. It was uh it was beautiful. We saw a four-wheeler. The outside's getting louder, that's how you know the sun's going away. You don't really realize how loud the the sun, the sun makes everything kind of quiet, and then it gets and then it goes away and everything starts talking. Kind of like at night, you know, like when you go to a party and it gets louder. During the day, that house has got sunshine coming through. It's very calm, but at night it's like this is low way. Kiss my body, kiss my body. I've I've tried to like look that song up, it's not on Spotify. I think you just have to like watch that part of the movie every time you want to watch that song, I think, from MC Hannon. That's the podcast. It's good, it's good to be back. Thanks for listening.

SPEAKER_02 31:54

Oh, what is that little critter? What is that? What is that?

unknown 31:59

I don't want to scare him, but that's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 32:03

I don't want to scare him, but I will blow him up. What are you, a spider? What are you? What are you some kind of spider? Where'd you go? Did you go under the little rock I thought was poop? Where'd you go? Don't hide from me. I'm not gonna eat you, but I bet you feel like that.

SPEAKER_03 32:19

Alright. I thought I saw all right. Well, anyways, can't end. I wanted to show you something, but I'll show you my fucking nuts. Goodbye. The podcast is about to get so much better. We got a lot of surprises. I got a lot of things I've been working on. So uh subscribe to the Patreon so I can make money to make the next thing even better. Um, sign up for my Venmo because that's just where money can be sent. And then um this episode was sponsored by Dude Wipes because the other day I did shit my pants and I handled it so carefully. Um, and that I was like, oh, I'm getting good at this. That's probably not good. I'm getting good at shitting my pants as so much. Probably stop. But that's the end of the podcast. Love you, kisses, bye.