Ep 122: Raven Rock

I recorded this one on a real hike, which means you get everything unfiltered: sunscreen melting off, DEET getting sprayed on anything that isn’t my face, and me trying to sound calm while quietly assuming a bear is about to collect me. We start with tour dates (Raleigh, Indianapolis, St. Charles) and then head straight into Raven Rock State Park, where the quiet trails feel peaceful right up until your brain decides silence is the perfect time to spiral.

Somewhere between bad angles, loose shoes, and trail signs that make me question my sense of direction, I tell a story I still can’t shake: the time I was on psychedelics, had to go pee, and felt completely certain a bear was waiting to end the night. It’s funny because it’s ridiculous, but it’s also real because fear doesn’t care if you’re being reasonable. That thread turns into a bigger idea about solo hiking, outdoor mindfulness, and how nature can reset you even when you’re not doing it “right.”

Then the payoff arrives when we hit the water and the Cape Fear River opens up in front of us. I try to show you the view, try not to drop my phone into the river, and immediately start wondering why we ever stopped drinking straight from streams, before remembering all the reasons. If you want a comedian’s nature walk that bounces between awe, anxiety, and dumb jokes, this is it. Subscribe, share it with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a review with your favorite bit or your worst hiking fear.

Transcript

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Tour Dates And Quick Invite

SPEAKER_11 0:00

Hey everybody, we're out here for a hike, and I just want to let you guys know that you can come see me on the road. I'm gonna be in Raleigh, North Carolina. July 9th.

SPEAKER_05 0:10

I'm gonna be in Indianapolis on July 23rd.

SPEAKER_11 0:20

And then probably gonna ruin my mic. And then I'll be in St. Charles, Missouri, July 30th through August 2nd. Uh get your tickets at bobbyjcox.com. Come out, see a show on the road. Here's your episode. Hey

Sunscreen, DEET, And Trail Energy

SPEAKER_11 0:36

everybody. Oh, just getting my legs, just getting to sunscreen on, even though as soon as I just got to sunscreen, the sunscreen goes away. But we're gonna see how this goes. We're gonna see how this microphone, we're gonna see how this microphone picks up. We're gonna see how we do with this DEET spray, because I ain't getting fucking Lyme disease. I'm not spraying on my face. I'm spraying my clothes, kind of like my hands. And the podcast equipment. You're not getting that was really stupid. You're not getting us. You're not getting my penis either. Anyway, um, yeah, we're here. We are at Ravenrock. Is that what this place is called? This place is it's called Raven Rock. And I'm easily the loudest motherfucker here. So um yeah, we're gonna go. We're gonna go together on a hike after I lock my fucking car. Lock up.

unknown 1:38

You fucking pizza shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

You fucking pizza shit.

SPEAKER_11 1:53

But ride it to uh Hello, how are you?

SPEAKER_03 1:56

Doing good. Have a good night.

SPEAKER_11 2:02

Um, we are going down uh Ravenrock Trail to go to um man, dude. My hair slicked back, I look like a real piece, like a real piece of shit. Like this is like, doesn't this feel like you're getting dragged to the woods by a guy?

SPEAKER_09 2:16

You're like shouldn't have trusted me. Should never have trusted me. But you trust a guy with long hair because you think that they're pieces of shit, but then you wouldn't be wrong. But I go in the woods.

SPEAKER_11 2:32

Oh why the fuck? I'm so stupid. Um, I think I'm going the right way. I can't tell. I think this is the way I looked it up on my thing. Um, but yeah, that said Cape Fear, which I don't know anything about it. I had to look it up, and there's some stupid story about a guy with a ship, and he was so fucking scared. And so he thought he would never be okay again. But so now you have to have everything's named after him, Cape Fear. Cape Fear. Um but there's like almost no one here at the park. Which, what is it? It's uh it's like almost 5 p.m. So you'd think there'd be like some hikers or people who you know, I feel like hikers are people who have that like brain that's like, hey, you know what, dude? I wake up at 4 a.m. I wake up at 4 a.m. when this when the sun comes up, I flip it off, I say, I beat you to this, I am the sun, I power you, and the sun's like, okay, take it easy, Dylan. And so I would think there'd be more people here because they they'd have a job where they'd be off work earlier so they can come in. Do that, do that all around the fucking woods. Dude, but I love I mean I'm joking about there being nobody here, but I'm really glad that there is nobody here.

SPEAKER_02 3:53

But even as I think that I gotta tie my freaking shoe. I gotta tie it here.

SPEAKER_11 4:00

You guys do it.

SPEAKER_02 4:00

Oh yeah, you guys keep this thing, my little hikers.

SPEAKER_11 4:04

That's my shoes, is what I mean. I don't that what I gave them for the guy. I'm like, you want to see my little hikers? Yeah, just a bunch of no. Um, that bit sucks, and uh scene swipe. Um Bet you didn't think I could build all these cages. Dude, I don't even know if you can hear this. So I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try to enjoy the nature walk. Regardless of if this is gonna get recorded or not. Does that make sense?

Bear Fear And A Psychedelic Memory

SPEAKER_11 4:40

The only reason we're recording is because I have a real fucking I have a real fear that I think I'm gonna get eaten by a bear.

SPEAKER_03 4:49

You hear that?

SPEAKER_11 4:52

So, I don't know how to explain it. One time I was just I was on psychedelics. I just had this really bad feeling about a bear, and I thought, like when I I I don't know if you if you've ever, I'm not condoning them, but if you ever have done them, yeah, you can't explain it. You get like these weird feelings that you're not really in control of, kind of like your own feelings, but this is with you know, an uh help or whatever. I was with my girlfriend, and we at the time we were like in a tree house, and I had to go piss, but for some reason I was like, You're gonna go piss and you're gonna, that's you're gonna die. Like that's what happens to you next. Like, you go piss, a bear eats you and dies. I was like, okay, universe. Like, I was like, like it just felt like you got an email, you're like, they're letting me go. Like, what? Okay. Um, getting taken out by bear package, okay. So I just had to be like the toughest guy. I just was like, all right, and I remember I said goodbye to my girlfriend the time I go, I'll see you later. She was like, Yeah, I'll see you in a second. I was like, Yeah. See you around. She was like, Yeah, just go piss and get back here. Right. And I went outside and I pissed just on the door mat, like just right at the just right at the door, just like scared like this, like because I was like, if it's gonna eat me, it's gonna have to come to the doorway. And um, so I chose not to go with that fate. And since that choice, look at me now. Hello, dude. Imagine finding people before there were streets. Like my house is um down the road, um, but we also just had a monsoon, so uh good luck finding it, and you're like, after the it's after the 1000th and oneth tree. You're like, okay. Like you just it's past the redwood oak. Fuck, I have no trees now. I think that's someone else's bit. I don't know whose bit that is, but they're like, find it by the redwood. I'm like, it's the red oak tree. I'm like, it better be the biggest tree in the town. Otherwise, I don't even know what you're talking about. God, this is so hard to hold. I wish I had a longer one of these things. Hold you guys. If I hold you guys like this, it looks like cop it looks like uh like a cop cam or whatever, like on the gun.

SPEAKER_08 7:37

Freeze you motherfucker.

SPEAKER_11 7:40

Oh, this is my impression of uh because there's I have a joke that because there's um I have a joke where uh I don't know if you can say unalive or suicide, I don't know the rules, but um they're like, oh yeah, because you could do suicide, like because there's like suicide by cop, and I was like, which is sad. Suicide by firefighter, which is kind of ridiculous. Like and then uh I go uh suicide by um librarian, but what the fuck were you doing in that library? Like she's fucking shh. Um I said fucking shh. Um speaking of shh, we're in the woods. We're in the anoronds. No, we're not. We are actually that's me quoting myself, um, as Stev. Um no, we're in the woods because this is where I was headed today, and I decided that I was going to the woods whether I get to do my podcast or whether I get good or bad news. Um, so yeah, so both of those things can be true. You can you can have good news and bad news and still go to the woods, but I'm having so much fun dude. And I saw this old guy earlier and he was running like this. He was running like this out of the woods. He was you know, like someone's like running. So and I was like, dude, I gotta be more like that guy. So that's actually why I bought bug spray because I did I don't want to get Lyme disease just trying to go into the woods, and then I was like, I gotta, you know, I already have sunscreen. But now that I got both of those fuckers on, I'm in the woods. God, it's so fucking pretty out here.

SPEAKER_08 9:23

So fucking pretty out here.

SPEAKER_11 9:25

And I just saw, yep, squirrel, squirrel. My friend Sam can call him, but I don't remember how she did it.

SPEAKER_02 9:42

Those must not be it.

SPEAKER_11 9:50

She would like do that. She did something and like caught a. I don't know, I was watching her, but she um I don't know. But that wasn't it. Oh dude, how much this fucking ate ass on the hike. And in a second, our guest is Kevin Nealan. Um I realized that as far as I wanted to do this, I was like, oh, I'm just gonna go on the hike and I'll just record it. And it's like, oh, it's already a it's already a very popular podcast. But who gives a fuck? That's what mine's just compulsive. I get to I I'll dive into any fucking world. What he invented hiking, suck my dick, Kevin. Now I don't mean that. I haven't met him, he's actually a very nice guy, paints his nails, you wouldn't think it does. Or at least I didn't think that. Maybe you do think that. And if you do think that about people, why does it matter to you who the folks are? These fucking birds, everything is so everything is so beautiful and worth it. What's that movie, heavyweights? That's how fucking that's how Ben Stiller runs in every movie. Dude, which side note, fucking great movie.

Signs, Wrong Turns, And Self Roasts

SPEAKER_11 11:16

Wait, Raven Rock. One mile. Uh-oh.

unknown 11:20

Raven Rock.

SPEAKER_11 11:22

Well, this goes down, and I'm trying to go to the water, so it's gotta be this way. And if I'm wrong, oh dude, this is how people get lost. Wait, fish traps, parking area, great. Fish traps.

SPEAKER_04 11:32

Yeah, I want to go see fish.

SPEAKER_11 11:35

Wait, I don't know if I want to go to the rocks or this, but I'm going this way. I tell you what, I'm going the path less traveled, the left side, the left-handed path, that's where I'm going. Some people might think that's the devil. I also heard that too, so I don't know. Um, but okay. I really guess I should start working out more because I can already feel I'm out of breath, and we've only really been doing this for fucking 10 minutes. What angle do we like when we walk? Is it this one? It's definitely not this one, right? And it's definitely not this one where you can see how bald I am. I look like Robbie Hoffman, right? Get the fuck out of my face with all that. Yeah. Um look like Bobby Hoffman.

SPEAKER_08 12:26

Don't you come at me with any of that shit?

SPEAKER_11 12:29

Dude, she's fucking, she's awesome. Northampton Ferry Trail. I don't know where the fuck I'm at. Dude, talk about discombobulated, dude. I listened to this podcast where the guy he got lost. And so we all we paid so much to the Patreon that they found him. Dead. Your dad is a doornail small as dude. I just keep putting it on my tits. Is this that good footage? Fucking no, dude. Fucking how do you okay? So I gotta hold it here. I gotta hold it just so you can see how far I am, just so you guys know. Like, I hold it like this far. So I have to like hold it as if I have like the biggest cock in the world. Oh, at least in North America.

unknown 13:21

Nature, bro.

SPEAKER_11 13:23

I always forget about nature, or at least like coming to visit it more often. Like, you come in. I feel like I visit nature like going to see my grandma myself. I don't do this all the time.

SPEAKER_08 13:31

She's like, I just wish you were young again and climbing to me. And you're like, what? And she's like, I'm a tree. You seen Pocahontas, that's your grandma. You grandma a tree.

unknown 13:43

Oh.

SPEAKER_11 13:44

I'd be so scared if my your mom's. I'm like, I want to get my grandma and your mom's like, it's time. Nana, wake up. This is your grandma. Dash your papa. If I get fucking bit by a snake to do a dumb bit, fucking no way. This is my hot rod moment, too. Wish I knew how to backflip. I can, but it has to be into um at least six foot deep of water. Any deeper and um I get scared. Not scared, just me, I just more like just thinking if they put a shark in the in the water.

SPEAKER_04 14:34

Oh, got a little thing to jump. That's the skin of a killer, Bella. You I'm gonna climb that tree and make you know I'm a werewolf or a vampire.

SPEAKER_11 14:54

Dude, I have no idea what's going on. Um yeah, dude, my mind's all over the place, and there's nothing worse than like, have you ever tried to like listen to Ram Das or Alan Watts and like try to like balance yourself? You forget to put your phone on do not disturb because it's like who doesn't have to Siberian diary. I just saw the back end of it. It looks like a little looks like a little mongoose. Look at a tiny little dinghy mongoose. So, um yeah, I don't know. I was just about to complain, and it's something I don't do anymore. It's like listen to this book on stoicism because it's uh I clicked on the wrong thing on you know Spotify. And so now I'm like a stoic. But I'm back. Uh it's just one of the it's like that thing where they girl skiing and they're like, guy makes a shitty podcast, has no idea, bear behind him all the time. You ain't gonna get me, son of a bitch. And this is so fucking um, I want one that goes like out fucking like out here, and I also want a hairline that stops receding. And if I talk to one more person that goes, no, you're not balding, you're just your hair's going backwards. I'm like okay. Well, at least you'll not you'll fucking line receding. Um, so yeah, I'm I'm losing my hair. Hey, hold on, stay with the oh hell. Um, but they say you gotta like talk to the universe, so it's like I just talk to the universe and be like, I don't want to lose it, and then the universe is like, okay. And I'm like, or all my money, they're like, Well, you can't have both. I'm like, but what seems like you're taking a little bit of both.

unknown 17:15

Dude, this is so fucking pretty.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

It looks like there was a fire here. Looks like there was a fire, and that's not good.

SPEAKER_11 17:24

Oh, but actually, they're kind of everywhere. I wonder if it was like planned. Because it's kind of everywhere. I don't know. Real weird and hard to tell.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Real fucking weird.

SPEAKER_07 17:37

And you're like, Bobby, I guess you could look it up when you get back. Yeah, right, dude. I don't do fucking I don't do any of that shit, dude.

SPEAKER_11 17:50

Oh, this ain't bad. Feels like what you're walking with your podcast ad. You know, I'm not always gonna be around. You know. One day when you start to grow up, there's gonna be ads in front of you. You're gonna have to watch those. I know, yeah. It's not just gonna be me and you. Eventually, it's gonna be me, you, and blue chew. Well, but you're um, and you're my child in this when you're 18. Why'd you talk to your kid about blue chew? Have you talked to your kid about blue chew? Ew, no, good. Good. Good. Oh my god. I also think I realize that I like coming to the woods more by myself. Because if you ever go to the woods with someone else and you have to have like their woods philosophies, like yeah, I'd like I've dated a girl that is like this, that they're like you wouldn't wasn't on me at all.

SPEAKER_05 18:56

Wasn't on me at all. Alright, let me redo the bit for people just coming into the podcast. They'll be like this a bit.

SPEAKER_11 19:05

I was just talking to this tree. You don't get my tree bits. You're like, what? You're like, that's how I go to the forest. God damn, dude. How do I fuck it? Okay, then this is how I hold it. I could hold it like this the whole fucking time. God damn. Um, but I'm really not complaining. I just want it to be, it's like hard to get lost in a bit.

SPEAKER_08 19:24

Bobby, shut the fuck up, okay.

SPEAKER_11 19:26

Dude, and I used to like save stuff when I would come to the forest. Now I don't save shit, dude. I don't save anything. I used to like, yeah, I used to be like, oh, look at all these rocks.

SPEAKER_04 19:35

I'm gonna save a rock, I'm gonna write Raleigh, North Carolina on a rock.

SPEAKER_11 19:40

Go ahead and do it, you fucking loser. We're going pretty fucking downhill right now. By the time we get down to this hill, is my hair completely gonna be gone? I look like if they did an American version of Draco Malfoy and he's all grown up. He goes, Yeah, I lost it all because you fucking put a sock in my we lost our fucking Dobby and you put a sock in my dad's book, and dad's giving me books and fucking fuck.

Closing In On The Water

SPEAKER_08 20:18

Oh, I can hear the water.

unknown 20:19

Bob gets excited when he can hear the water. Jump.

SPEAKER_11 20:23

And I used to do the podcasts like at the water, and I was like, what if I take you guys and keep it by your fucking face? It's just there's a lot of steps I'm going down right now. Tie my little Tootsie shoes.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_10 21:09

See a show at Indie Helium. I'll see you later. I'm gonna make one of these when I come back up, maybe. I'm also gonna put on deodorant after fucking wood.

SPEAKER_08 21:18

Bobby, why? What the hell?

SPEAKER_11 21:20

Alright, so we're still walking. If we're still walking, that means that when I go back, it's gonna be at least 20 minutes. At least if I know one thing about being on a trail, you're supposed to count how long in and how long out. We did that in the fire academy too, because if you're like, oh, I only have half a tank left, but if you're in the that far in the building, it'll take at least a half out if nothing goes bad. So you get what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_07 21:48

If not, that's okay. That's why you're an accountant and watching my tits when I fucking put it there instead of on my date.

unknown 21:57

Alright.

SPEAKER_08 22:01

Whoa, getting crazy over here.

SPEAKER_11 22:10

That doesn't look like another. Fuck. That'll break my leg. I'm like, please send help. I gotta go up these fuckers. I guess you don't have to. And my shoe untie it again?

SPEAKER_07 22:30

Dude, if I gotta tie my fucking shoe.

unknown 22:32

Oh fucking tie.

SPEAKER_11 22:38

You loop it?

SPEAKER_09 22:39

You have to loop it.

SPEAKER_11 22:40

You double knotted this one. You're not an idiot.

SPEAKER_02 23:10

There's people down here. That fucking sucks.

SPEAKER_11 23:13

We were alone the whole time, so now we just might have to just go with views because I can't be talking about crazy stuff and then there's kids hanging out.

unknown 23:22

Alright.

SPEAKER_11 23:25

Wait, that's a water hole.

SPEAKER_02 23:27

We're going down this way. No.

SPEAKER_11 23:31

Can't be the only way down. I think it is. I think we have to go down this way. Sorry, guys. Not you guys, but these this family that I'm gonna walk by, but it's pretty steep down here.

SPEAKER_02 23:47

Whoa!

SPEAKER_03 23:50

Steep. How's it going?

SPEAKER_11 23:56

Whoa. I almost flung my phone into the river. That is crazy. Okay, you just guys you guys see how pretty this is. Once I make it over this, hold on, I have to really hold my phone. I don't know how to hold this. I'm just gonna have one fucking dead. You didn't come here. You're not here. How pretty is this?

SPEAKER_04 24:27

Hey, I ain't scared. Ain't gonna fear. I'm not I'm not fucking scared. I ain't scared at all.

SPEAKER_10 24:35

I ain't never scared. But if there was like a bear or something, I'd be pretty scared actually right now.

SPEAKER_11 24:40

I'd be really scared actually. Wow, this place is pretty. Damn. This place is awesome. Awesome. Try to show it all to you guys. Whoa. Didn't think I'd be coming to Cape River fear today. Look at this shit. Look at me and this shin. This is my podcast, and I'm sticking to it. Don't get in the water though, because it's algae. I don't know any other, I don't know what's going on, but look how pretty this is. Hold on, for real. Look how pretty. Can you see how pretty this is? Can you see how pretty? I'm gonna lose my phone like in the Jamanji game. Why didn't you hold on to the game, Peter?

SPEAKER_10 25:36

Alright, this way it just looks like a rock. I think I should show you guys the other way.

SPEAKER_03 25:42

Right? Better. Right.

SPEAKER_06 25:56

Right? How nice is this? Crooked. Oh well.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

Um I guess I'll end the pot here until the sun takes you out.

River Thoughts And Tour Plug

SPEAKER_06 26:09

Um. We had a beautiful fun hike. Um you can come see me on the road. I got a bunch of shows. Uh I'm adding shows all the time. Just adding shows and be on the road with Emma Willman. We're gonna be in Oklahoma City and Dallas at the beginning of August.

SPEAKER_11 26:27

So I uh I can't wait to do that. God, I just want to drink this water. How come we never get to do that? When did we stop getting to do that? Was it the 60s you can't drink out of the river no more? And could you do it before then? When I just a little scoop and sip. You just take a little scoop and sip and then look up and realize that a whole family's pooping. You go, no, I'm drinking the family poop water.

SPEAKER_10 26:49

But beyond being nerfed that happening, it had to be pretty fun when we could still drink from streams. Now you have to get a bottle of the Sani, and someone goes, That one's gross. You go, it's the one on sale.

SPEAKER_11 26:59

There's the one on sale. And then the bottles don't even work anymore. You take the lid off, which takes all the fucking structural stability out of it, and you're like have to hold it in there because our dicks can't stay hot anymore, and neither can all water bottles.

SPEAKER_06 27:25

Make the bot bottles dicks hot again. Like, I don't want to make fullest files, I don't want to make trash, but I'm also tired of spilling water all over myself.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

You know what I'm saying? Do you know what I am saying?

SPEAKER_06 27:40

Alright, well, that's the podcast, probably. Um God, this is such a beautiful rippled lake, bitch.

SPEAKER_11 27:50

So, anyway, I think that's the pod. Let's see how much time we have left. There's no way it's that much. Oh, look, my penis is coming in. Um shit. Alright. Just my phone just told me I have a show tomorrow. I know. But anyway, thank you guys. Thanks for um thanks for enjoying the podcast. Um, I almost stepped into gunky dunki soup. Didn't want to do that, but thanks for listening to the podcast. Thanks for sharing your time and energy with me. Uh, I know you turn it off after five minutes. Sometimes I do the same thing too. But I also have fans who liked it so much that they send me their favorite bits, which you guys can do too. Send them to 02134. Send it to Zoom. If you have any letters, send it to where you used to send letters to Zoom. I got the old PO box. Oh, I got the old Zoom P.O. box. You can't get it from me.

SPEAKER_06 28:46

No, you can't.

SPEAKER_11 28:48

Um I never do this. I never do this. I always think you gotta just be doing something.

SPEAKER_01 29:04

We don't God I my fucking armpits stink. They smell like someone else's armpits. I've been thinking shit so bad that when I poop, I'd be like, I think my poop smells doesn't stink as much as my ass.

Thank Yous, Listener Bits, And Goodbye

SPEAKER_01 29:49

Oh, dude, you better jump into fucking water. Don't even let me down. I'm like, I almost made into meditation mode.

SPEAKER_11 29:57

If he brought me out of meditating, did not fall into the water. I know I could have done it for that thing over there, I could have fallen too, but you can really do it for old Bob. Do a backflip, do something cool. Can you hear me? I'm talking to the water. Water's supposed to carry. Jump.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

I guess it's time to go. All right. Anyway, that's the pod. Thank you guys for listening. Love ya. Bye.