Ep 127:

Everything I own is in my car, the suspension is begging for mercy, and I’m driving far enough that even my thoughts start to echo. That is the headspace for this Discompopulated road episode: downsizing a life that no longer makes sense, ditching the storage unit bill, and trying to figure out what is actually worth keeping when space, money, and energy are all capped.

Then the trip swerves into a full-blown Home Depot truck rental disaster. I break down what happens when you rent a “cheap” van that will not start, the doors will not lock, and the lights act like they are haunted. It turns into a crash course in protecting yourself with videos, pushing to get problems documented, and navigating customer service when the rules suddenly matter more than safety. The moment they hand my rental to someone else while my contract is still active, the story stops being funny and starts being real.

From there, we zoom out to the larger grind: AI anxiety (yes, I use ChatGPT), corporate policies that reward nobody, and what it feels like to get woken up at 4 a.m. when you are sleeping in your car. Buc-ee’s myths, Circle K nerves, casino survival nights, and the strange freedom of not knowing where you will land all stack up into one takeaway: the road can be brutal, but it is honest.

If this hit a nerve, subscribe, share it with a friend who is rebuilding, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What would you keep if you had to pack your whole life into a car?

Transcript

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Packing Up And Hitting The Road

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hey, whoa, my hand's so in the way. Hey everybody, welcome back. Whoa, it kind of looks cool though. Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Discompopulated. We're on the road with everything I own in my car. With everything I own in my car. I'm driving so very fucking far. What's the load capacity? 850. How much this shit weigh? I have no idea. I'm not a scale. But it's full. And my car is squatting. My car shocks her. If my car was Nike's, the shocks would be blown. Um so yeah, I put everything, I had a storage unit. It was costing me a lot of money to keep um things that I've never used in years. Uh I'm like asking ChatGBT, I'm like, what's important in life? Is it three stools I never use? Oh fuck. I can drive on I35. I think that's what I'm on. So I was on last time I checked. Hmm. Looks sick, bro. It kind of looks sick like that. I wish my hand was that fucking big. Anyway. Um it ain't. Uh anyway, who cares? Who cares? Um, yeah, you're move. We're moving on to new and better things, you know. I had my stuff, you know, I was stored in Texas, and I was like, you know, I think there's a better, more central place we could store our stuff. So we're gonna find a place to store our stuff. I'm gonna bury it. That's what I'm gonna do. Bob, you're not gonna bury it. Yes, I am. Oh yes, the oh yes, I am. I'm gonna bury it. And then come. Oh shit, where's my t-shirt? And if you guys are wondering, I know I have a lot of stuff in my car, but I can see out the sides. I can see out my mirrors, and when I've turned my blinker on, I got a camera right there. And yes, I can't see out of my um rearview mirror, but neither can you in like a U-Haul truck. And oh my god!

Home Depot Van Rental Chaos

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Do you guys want to hear a story about the home fucking depot, home fucking douchebags, home fucking moes? And listen, that's disrespectful to home. I'm not I'm using it in the when we were like in sixth grade. So listen. I um had to move stuff, so I was like, here's what I'll do. You if you you know, because you can you can rent from U-Haul, or you can rent from like Home Depot, and Home Depot is like a better price. They got these like little ass vans that such. You can totally tell dogs are taking shits in them. And it's like says 19 bucks. It's not, it's like you're like it's 19 bucks if you can get done in 20 minutes. 1997 if you can get done, but you gotta bring it back in 1997. I'm not gonna do that, coach. So I would love eye contact on the highway. Just two guys in sunglasses looking at each other, having no fucking idea what we're thinking. Is that guy mean or not mean? Does that guy like his sunglasses or not? Can't picture my mom picking out sunglasses, can picture her making out with my dad. Think about it a lot. I know. There's a lot of gross stuff I can anyway. Um so let me finish the story. And then we're passing a bucky's and I got a fucking Bucky's. I'll tell you what, Bob's got a Bucky story too. So yeah, I went to Home Depot, the home, the home fucking Mo's. So rent you rent a U-Haul. When you rent these, like, or not, it's like a it's like a van from whatever. It's a van from Home Depot. So I rent the van, get in the van, doesn't start. Walking around the van, I'm like, hey, is this van okay? He's like, it was like in an accident, so they just brought it back. I was like, okay. His words, not mine. He goes, some ladies brought it back. I was like, yeah, I don't, I he starts saying their ethnicities. I'm like, bro, I can I honestly I just want to know why the side of it looks like it looked like the van in from the dark night when Batman's like, he's like putting a fucking bone saw through the side of the van. You remember that one? And then he jumps off the top. Not my diagnosis, you remember that part. I'm over an hockey pack. Remember that part of the movie? What gives you the right? I'm not driving this fucking van. So they give me a van that looks like it went to hell, and then they like did paperwork. They're like, oh my god, you're not supposed to be in hell, you're supposed to be back on earth. And the van's like, that's what I've been trying to tell you, guys. And so they gave me this van. It looks like a fucking golf ball, it's got so many dents in it. So I take a I do that thing where like I take a video around it. That's when I'm like my most spunky. I'm like, oh, I swear to god, get in the van, doesn't start. Guy tries to start it, can't start it. I'm like, hey, you want to write that in the notes? Because you gotta write it in the notes. Because when you try to explain it to people, they just look at you like, wait, you had something happen that doesn't make us money, you gotta walk away right now. They can fuck up whatever. The customer's always right, hasn't been right about 19 years. So listen. God, I hate fucking and I'm also glad that I'm out of Texas because I hate the fucking speed limit. We'll listen one thing at a time about. So the van doesn't start, I'm like, write it down. So he writes it down. I'm like, dude, and then I also leave and the doors don't lock. And so I go, I run what I gotta do or whatever, and then I realize that the doors don't lock, and then whenever I get all the way to go pick up myself, which is three hours away from where I need to drop it back off, I realize van's not starting again. I'm like, okay, van's not starting, doors aren't locking, and then I get on the road and now it's dark, it's nighttime, so I turn on the lights, the brights are going up and down constantly. It looks like I'm trying to like, you know, when you're trying to like let like a truck driver know you they can get in front of you, and you're like and you're just hitting your brights as hard as you can. That's what I was doing. I'm hitting my fucking brights, and it that's what it looks like, and then so I'm like, okay, this is not safe to drive. So then I have to, I don't get to finish my task because I'm like, I can't take this, and then if this truck breaks down, I have all my stuff in it, and because it's unlocked, wherever it breaks down, someone's gonna check it out possibly and steal everything I've ever owned in my whole life. Is that sound like a good idea to anybody else? No. So I unload everything and just drive it straight back to that Home Depot because I was like, well, it'll be safe there, and then tomorrow we can talk about getting me like try to see if it's fixed or whatever, and then I'll take it tomorrow, and at least it'll be daylight, and I can do everything when I'm rested, and I didn't drive all day and waste my fucking day moving shit by myself. So I did it all, no complaints till now, and then so I go inside 30-minute wait. I couldn't be nicer. We're talking to people, I'm saying hi, I'm talking to the guys while they're checking people out, you know, in between waiting to like do the rentals and stuff. I've been nice the whole time. When the truck didn't start, I was nice. I tried to pay with store credit, like you actually can't pay the store credit. I'm like, but this is the store. I don't nothing makes sense, and then everyone just goes, Yeah. I'm like, wait, why can't I do that? Like, we just don't know. We just can't let you. I'm like, okay. Hmm, okay. So I was like, all right, you can't do that. The truck doesn't start, whatever, it's dented up, whatever, this thing happens. I'm still being calm. And then I get up and I was like, brother, I'm gonna tell you what, I had one of the worst days of my life. It was pointless. I don't, I wasted my day. Um, I want to get this figured out, and I would like a refund so that I can get a van for another day. And he goes, Okay, okay, okay. You know, whenever people like hate that you're giving them more than they have to deal with, I'm like, but it's your it's your fucking job. And I'm being nice. I even told him, I go, bro, oh my god. Sorry, this truck driver just started coming into my lane out of nowhere. Ugh, thank you. Thank you for almost killing me. That's when you wanted to get over, you've been fucking next to me the whole time. You know what I'll do is I'll kill this guy and then I'll deliver all these trampolines. It's like that's what it's dude. It's so crazy, bro. So I try to Oh shit, I almost killed you. Sorry. Now everyone at least has their fucking cigarettes in Wisconsin. I don't know how people get shit around. I just think of the movie fucking uh fucking Beverly Hills Cow. Cigarette, drug bus, not drug bus, cigarette bus. God, that was such a cool time. Anyway, I'm I'm getting off track because I don't even want to talk about how bad. So then we go there and the guy's getting pissed. He's like, okay, man, I get I get that it's a lot, and I go, dude, hey, listen, I'm being cool. And sometimes you have to say that because you have to remind them that I'm like, dude, this is my money. You are at work getting paid. One of us is losing right now, and it's your job to help me with that. Because these things do happen. And I've been cool, dude. One time I bought fucking I bought a drill set from Home Depot. It's like fucking 400 bucks, 400 drill set, and I got two keys made. Then you do it where they now you gotta do it by yourself. You pay and you do it. Used to be a person there, they do it. We're like, why are you moving? And you're like, shut up. So I go to do that and I do it myself, and then I called back to I stole them on accident. I put them in my pocket and I didn't mean to. So I called up to Home Depot. I was like, dude, I accidentally sold two keys, and they're like seven bucks a pop or whatever the fuck they are now because it's fucking stupid. Uh and so I was like, Can I get I need to return these? Or I need to like buy these, do I need to come back up? And he was like, uh, we hold on, let's let me let's see if we can take care of you. He's like, Did you buy anything else? I'm gonna look up your receipt. I go, Yeah, I bought the two keys and um uh the Milwaukee drill set. And he goes, like the one on Sarah's like 400 bucks or whatever. I was like, Yeah, he's like, dude, keep the keys, brother. So like that's how honest I am. I'm always trying to, I'm like, dude, I don't want to fuck someone's, you know, whatever. I'm whatever, dude. Whatever. Well, that was that I mean that's how I used to. That was that was the old that was the old Bob. Here we go. The Bob is back in town, the Bob is back in town, down, down.

unknown 11:38

God, that coffee sucks.

SPEAKER_00 11:41

Um so then he's like, all right, blah, blah, blah. He's like, all right, dude, well, here I can't do anything until I need to go see the thing. He's like, give me the van, and he goes, give me the keys. I go, dude, I still have this rental for a couple hours. I'm not handing you over, I'm not giving you the keys right now. He goes, Okay, but you have to show me over the van. I was like, it's right outside, dude. I park and I was like, she took it outside, and I went to where it was parked, and I go, it was right here. And he was like, I know exactly what happened with it. And after he was being rude to me, and then I was been trying to be calm, I go, where is it? He goes, Someone else took it. I go, wait a second. So I have a contract with you guys, a signed contract, that if I if I if I run into a light pole, I owe you guys $44,000. And I have this for a couple more hours, and you just gave it to someone else. And then he laughed at me, and I was like, brother, you're gonna have to take me back inside that things are up. We're about to shift gears, just like that truck by right now, wherever that is. And I go, I have the keys. Why'd you give it to someone else? Why didn't you even call them? You have my number, why didn't you call me? You'll do. I don't know why they do that stuff. I go, I can't, dude. Let's go talk to let's let's do the thing. Let's we like put our we put our acting max on us. I'm like, let's pretend, let's go. I'd like to speak to your manager. So I so then this lady comes over and I was like, hey, I actually and I told her, I go, hey, I saw you talk to them and you were being very sweet. And she goes, What's going on? And I go, listen, because I will say, even when I get upset, at some point you do, at some point you do have to become unglute. Like every if if it was a if it was a lady yelling at me at a bar, everyone would be like, get it, girl! Because I'm yelling and I'm out 150 bucks, which is like literally like all my money in the world right now. I was like, listen, I gotta tell you, didn't work out. Blah blah blah, broke down. It was not safe to I go, I'm like, technically that van was not safe to drive. You gave me a van that was not safe to drive, didn't start, didn't do this, did the lights, all that stuff. And I have a video of it, and I showed her the video. She's like, wow, that is weird. So yeah. And she goes, I'm upset that Garrett, like you take the car or the van or whatever, like when it didn't start. I was like, I mean, I I don't know what to tell you. I if he said it's okay, I'm like, I can only do it. You guys said she's like, no, you're right. And I go, and I said, I go, yeah, but it didn't start, and I go, I we put that in the file. She goes, doesn't say that in the file, and I go, and that's when Lance, because he knows he fucked up, she goes, Oh, come here, let me talk to you. It is in the file. So then they're like talking behind my back, and I get close, and now I'm like, Do you guys mind if I record that? Sure, you can calm down. I go, I am. I've been waiting in line, I've been calling. You fucking took the van from me. I was gonna finish this morning. Now I can't. What am I gonna do? And they're like, Oh, well, we're so sorry. And then they have a huddle, and then they come back, they go, Sir, well, the van isn't here, and I go, they go, hand me the keys. They go, I am not handing you these keys. She goes, Oh, you're holding it ransom. I go, I got you're holding the car, the van ransom. I guess, I guess that's the game we're playing today. Go fish. I just drove through a dust cloud, my windows are open, it went through my fucking vents. That sucked. Ugh. If I accidentally roll my back windows down, I'm gonna lose my fucking my fucking fender stratocaster. Oh my god, it smells like I'm playing the I'm playing shortstop right now, dude. Holy shit, there's so much dust in here. Oh my god. Uh got a lot of complaints today. So, yeah. So then at this point, she's like, she can tell she's frozzle, she's this. She's like, Well, sir, I can't do anything. I go, you have to give me a refund. She goes, hold on. So she goes, I will give you a refund. I go, yeah, and I want to talk to somebody. I just want to talk to somebody because this is crazy that is happening. You guys have been treating me like this. And I've been calm and I didn't get the van, and you guys just took it away. I'm holding the keys. And she goes, Okay, hand me the keys, and I'm gonna take you up front and I'm gonna do something that I shouldn't do. I might even lose my job for this. I go, cool. I live in my car. See how you like it. I'm so sick of people, dude. So then we go up to the front. She's like being rude to other people around me. So then I start recording and I have my phone down and she goes, Okay, hand me the keys. I go, no, she goes, Oh, still gonna hold them. I go, if I hand you these keys, will it make you be nicer to me? Because here you go. She goes, and I wanted to go, guess not. And I would but then she did it, and then she's like, I'm gonna do this return. It's illegal. Like she's like, I'm gonna, I could, I'm literally, they're gonna take my kids away. I'm like, no, they're not none of that's gonna happen. I've worked at a place before, I've worked at a place before, I've worked at a place before. You're gonna get talked to, it's gonna be okay. You're gonna yell at Garrett, like you said, you're gonna get a talking to, and guess what? I will get to re-rent a van since you wasted my whole day. So, yeah, I got a refund, and then they gave me cash, and I was like, I would like to I would like to talk to someone about this, and they're like, Okay, well, whatever. I was like, So, yeah, just have your manager reach out to me, so we'll see if they do.

Fighting For A Refund

SPEAKER_00 17:05

But yeah, and some people are just like, that's just the way it is, and I'm like, no, that's like whenever someone bumps into you at the airport or something like that. That's when you can do this stuff. I'm not taking I'm not taking like virtues into corporate America. I'm not bringing gratitude into the stock market. Uh uh, you know what I'm saying? A conglomerate? I'm gonna be pious at a conglomerate. Is that even I don't even know if that's the right word? Oh my god, dude, if I hit one more bump with this 800-pound load. And I've been, dude, I've been asking Chat GPT, yeah, I know it's using water. I need some too. I I've I'll stop drunk, I didn't drink it, so it could have it for me. Um But I was like, how much do you think if I filled all these gallons up basically with like every joke I've ever written in my life, and like um every like fucking you know, guitar pick I've ever found on the street. And we're we're about at max. I can't eat lunch or my car is gonna break the fuck down. These fucking struts, and I don't even know if that's what they are, but and dude, I'll hit a bump. And I mean, I feel like I'm in a buggy. I'm like, ugh. I feel like I'm in a chitty chitty bang bag. Never seen it, don't know, don't even know if it's a car. Shut up, don't care, don't never gonna watch it. Sounds stupid, don't like it. I'm allowed to hate like six things. You didn't even put your blanker on, Mr. I'm in denial of you, Denali. Where are you from? Got license plates I don't even recognize. If you're from Canada, when they have like 16 numbers, it's a they have their phone number, they have their phone number as their license plate. So then in Canada you can call they go, hey, I'm really sorry for cutting you off. Yeah. Doot do do do do do uh shit. Even a message after the beat, hey buddy, you're in front of me right now. I can see you flipping me off, and I I deserve it full of maple syrup. Yes, I know this is Canadian racism, but uh that's all we have. Alright, uh talk to you later. Uh my number is um my license plate, so I'll pull in front of you, slam on my brakes, and it'll indent into your car. Oh, part of your hubcap just fell off. Not joking at all. What the fuck was that? Something just fell off your car. Not doing a bit in the real life, but while I'm talking on a bit. Alright, I gotta go. Alright, talk to you later. See you in Canada. Boy! That's not how they talk. I gotta fart. Oh, don't fart on my vape. I had my vape in between my legs and I farted on my vape. What flavor is it? I'll tell you, Bob. So yeah. I think sometimes I think that's something we need to bring back because, dude, AIs are taking our jobs and they're like fucking all this stuff up or whatever. And I know I just said I use ChatGPT, but I don't pay for it. But it gets my information. I know, shut the fuck. I don't care. I live in my car. Can I I'll how about we talk about it later? And then you fucking fake fucks will be sitting there, and then someone starts talking about AI, and then you say the water thing, and then you're just like, you know, I actually I use it for my socks or whatever. Um yeah, and then what else? Oh

Sleeping In The Car At Buc-ee's

SPEAKER_00 20:39

yeah, I um dude, I got woken up at a gas station, which I'll tell you what is not a great I wore I used to be a firefighter and you would get woken up in the middle of your sleep, and that's like uh I mean that feels just like you would think. I mean it's kind of like a movie, what the fuck? And then you get up, you put your fucking boots on run, you're like 6444, go let's fucking go. You run a car like that's cool, dude. Being asleep in a fucking car and then hearing like a on your window. Not good. Not good. Bad actually. Bad and sucks. Bad stinks fucking and sucks. Yeah. I uh I thought you could sleep at all Buckies, dude. Dude, you got a million you have a million parking spots, and at night it's basically a parking lot with gas in it. I can't be over here by the dog shit where people throw their dog shit away. I can't sleep by the dog shit. I went to sleep at like fucking, I don't know, we'll say like I I want to maybe like 2 a.m. I don't know. Maybe, maybe earlier. Well, maybe earlier. We'll say like we'll say midnight. And she woke me up and it's like, dude, it's like four. So I got like four hours of sleep, dude. My REM cycle's fucked. But then I have to go and figure out like where to park. And I'm looking up another Buckies, but then I'm like, I don't even know if I can sleep at that. But I've slept at so many Buckies when there's other people that do it all the time. So I was like, fuck, you know, fuck you guys. You know, like you, you know, you go in your bathrooms, you have a thousand of them. Those lights don't work above there. I still have people knocking on the door. You go to take a shit. It's supposed to light. It says vacant, it says vacant or you know, taken, and then up top has the light and it's supposed to be red and red. And the amount of people knocking on the door, I'm like, I'm obviously there shit. There's 99 bathrooms and I'm shitting in this one. I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 problems and I'm shitting out one. Hit me. Oh my shit smell like DV! Taking one step closer to my ass. And I'm about to shit. I really fucking sink when I pee, because I'm not getting vitamins. So it's all yellow. And it was I yeller. Woo! Okay, so um, okay, so yeah, so I got woken up and then I'd like to find another gas station to sleep at. And I sleep at like a circle K, which like those are like notoriously, like you don't sleep at those. So then I'm like not comfortable, and like, dude, I was like getting cramps while I was sleeping because I can't straighten out. I'm like, dude, following your dreams. If I meet one more lawyer who's a comedian, I'm gonna I'm gonna become that asshole. I'm like, you know what? I don't think you get both. I don't think you get to be polar and more as with your dreams. Sorry. Sorry, buddy. This is for Bob. I live in my car. And you understand the Declaration of Independence. We're not the same. But we ain't that different. Because you want to be funny, and you're not, and I actually do know buddy, he is a lawyer, and he is funny, but um he does um yeah, he like does shows in St. Louis, and that's awesome. You know, but then he also makes you know a lot of money being a lawyer, and then there'll be one of those guys like I don't make a lot of money being a lawyer, and you're like, I will fucking I'll then let me then let me sue you and find out. Then let me sue you and find out. I'll represent myself in court. And I'll only use lines from liar liar. I stick paper in my mouth. I start doing the outtakes. Oh, goose. God, the outtakes almost killed us the movie. I tell you what, tell you what, tell you what, you have 6499 from TM. Here's your race. I have this idea for a movie we were talking about, um, which is uh Liar Liar. It's so stupid. You can skip, you just push fast forward 40 seconds if you don't want to hear the dumbest thing you've ever heard. I just wish that for only one day my dad wasn't on his period. Max. It's 1252. It's 12. It's 1230. I've been on my period for the last half hour. So you don't need to take it. No, that's not it. I always want to bleed running. So it's a dumb. Okay, we're back. I said 40 seconds, and I'm not gonna be a liar on my own podcast. But yeah, it's Bucky's, you got so many parking spots. Fucking let me stay there, and then I move and I barely get sleep, and then you wake up because the sun's coming up, and dude, you try to sleep through the sun. Oh my god, dude. I have never, oh my god, dude. I've never seen that movie, but I looked like Rango or whatever. What's that movie Johnny Depp where he plays like a lizard? That's what I look like in the morning. Like going inside, getting coffee, farting and shitting. We'd be shitting and farting, farting and shitting, and we'd be going outside, and then we try to be sleeping, but we got six hours sleep because we can't sleep through the sun now. So, you know, that's just you know, that's just that's just the way it is. So yeah, now, you know, it's just a live and learn thing. So I was I thought Bucky's was better when I kept seeing more. I was like, Oh, I like staying at a Bucky's, it's a little bit cleaner than I love, because dude, I don't know what's wrong with the plumbing there, but like sometimes they'll have clean bathrooms, and then sometimes it looks like someone came in and they you know how they clean the floors with those power washers. It feels like a guy came in there and did it with like his piss. And then like they plunged, and what they plunged with was like shit. Fucking stinks. Um that's so that's those that's those things. And um, yeah, I've been on the road. I'm still on the road. I don't know where I'm gonna go next. I got all my stuff in my car. I gotta find somewhere to drop this shit off. And uh keep living in my cars. My car, uh I say cars because I'm a fucking idiot. Um, what else? Yeah, about to have line of the gathering of the jugalos. I have like a bunch of episodes on a release pretty quick because I've been on the road, it's been very hard to do this. You go to a library, sometimes it doesn't upload, you know, my computer's full, so it's why I I am not trying to, I sincerely am not trying to complain. I have lived my life, so I'm where I'm at in my life to do this. But I tell you what, when you try to change to get in a better place in your life, people also don't like that. So they're like, hey, try harder, but then you do, they're like, not like that. And I'm like, get that what the absolute shit is going on in the neighborhood.

Casino Stop And Radical Downsizing

SPEAKER_00 28:06

Um yeah, and I had so much shit in my car the last night I had to stay at a casino. Had to had to do it, getting no other choice. But uh, and casinos are probably like they're pretty much the same rate, and they usually have like something that's like a little bit nicer rooms, and then I can park there and it's pretty safe, and I can go and gamble and stuff, so I get there, go gamble, order food, but per that food gets there in perfect time. Uh for me, it was actually very, very late, but then I and then I also complained on that. I'll complain on fucking anything. And I was like, hey, just so you guys know, this was actually later than you said, and I didn't, you know, it said it was gonna be in this window. They're like, it was actually it was exactly 15 minutes late. I was like, really? I've no people just like we just get to lie now, and then there's AI and everyone just gets to act stupid. Fucking dude, I am gonna go live in my car in the woods. That's why I'm getting rid of all my shit, downsizing everything. It's like you gotta you gotta save your pennies if you want to enjoy life. Because, dude, no one even does, dude. It's like you'll talk to someone, it's like, what do you do for fun? And they're like, huh? Like it doesn't make any sense. Like, dude, there's this girl that I know, and she's all she has a job. You know, she might work for the federal government, you know, but she enjoys her life. She goes hiking, she hangs out with her kids, she gets tattoos. She's cool. So if you want to be cool, you gotta like make that money and then like enjoy it. But some people just make money, and then you guys are if I see you guys at casinos, we're just sitting next to each other and you're like, That's not how you gamble. I'm like, oh, okay, well, you don't gamble in life. You ever fucking think about that? Bob gambles in the real world. You gamble in AC with cigarettes around you. What we ain't the same. Hit bust, god damn it. Oh, and then last night I like skipped the five extra $5 bet because I was like, it's not working. Could've won $666. The devil looked me right in my eyes, licked my teeth, and fucking fat. You spat, you little devil. So then I kept playing because I was like, wait, no, no, no, come back. Guys rubbing the table, clinking stuff. Come on, big funny. It's money, not for me. Got my food, went up and ate it in my hotel room, and then woke up in ketchup. God, there's nothing better than waking up and some dinky last night ketchup. Um yeah, and so now I'm back on the road. Have no idea where I'm gonna go next. I just know that which we have a heading now, but I don't know where I'm going next, and that feels uh you know when I say natural natural, I say as I'm coughing up the vape. It feels like natural. It feels good to kind of not know where you're going because it feels kind of free. And it's fucking, you know, it feels terrifying. That's that's how I feel like birds feel. It seems like they're enjoying themselves, but their eyes are completely wide open. They're like, huh? I don't sleep since they built gas stations, I can just eat all the time. You're right, potato chips, dude. They fucking rule. Also, I don't understand why how birds don't get like fat or whatever. Like they're eating our scraps. Like, how come birds like don't they're not like penguins now? They just like we don't we stopped flying years ago. There's a couple CrossFit birds who they can fly still. A couple Pilates birds, a couple Pilates parrots. But truly that's it. The Pilates parrots has always got all right, Bobby. They get the alliteration. I felt like it was fun at the end of the

Tour Updates And Closing Riffs

SPEAKER_00 32:01

episode. Thank you guys for joining. Um, I'll see you out there. I hope this is still green when I look. Yeah. Um, yeah, so that's the episode. Uh come see me on the road. I'm adding shows consistently. Just did a bunch uh all over. Thank you to everybody who came out to those shows. Thank you to everybody who shared. Um, thank you, everybody who shared their well wishes. I did not get back to everybody, which is always a um a bittersweet feeling because it feels nice to have so much love, but then you feel bad because you don't get back to people. So then you got a good thing when you scroll through your phone, you're like, okay, I'm not gonna jerk off. I'm gonna message my friends. But then you accidentally jerk off, so then you're like, well, I can't message my friends, I just jerked off. I'll make my stand right here with my friends. I'll jerk off stand right here with my friends. Oh, that bump is gonna one of these times all my tires blown, chung, gone around. That's how we do it on the phone. Everybody, I'll see you later. If you don't listen, pod, you're a fucking hater. When I go to the gathering the juggerlows, I'm gonna win the rep, you know. I'm gonna have so much fun with your girl until the night's gone. Then we're gonna go in the tent. We'll poop towers all on the vent. Cause now it's fucking gonna stink, but everything does, and it's gonna be blank. Everybody gonna party tonight. Everybody setting in the getting alright. I'm gonna drink, fago, and I'm going way more. That's what I mean. Cause I'm driving myself, closing my eyes, and I'm feeling myself going in and out of the lanes. I'm just kidding, in case you're wondering, I'm staying sane. And I got a brain. And I see a lame. Had it right until the end. Love you, bike.