Through a Blue Window(

CULT!
Through a Blue Window: is a podcast that chronicles the rise and fall of the Sullivanian Institute and its members. This psycho-sexual therapy institute existed on Manhattan's Upper West Side from the 1970s through the 1990s, and in later years was characterized as a cult.  I was a member of the Sullivanians for five years during which time I was directed to abandon family and friends.  After learning of my mother's death in May 1975, while deeply entrenched in the Sullivanians, I was ordered not to go to the funeral,  and I didn’t,  thus inextricably altering my life and a decision I regret to this day.

The first hour-and-a-half podcast and ensuing chapters tell of these events, beginning with my earliest memory - a 'history,' if you will, to borrow from the Sullivanian lexicon and bedrock of their control. Once in the group members were instructed to break ties with their families, and in particular mothers, who were seen as toxic and the root of all neurosis.  This philosophy was the engine that drove the Sullivanian ideology.

In 2013, still haunted by the events of my involvement, I began to write a memoir.  By trade, I am a visual artist and teacher, and also a poet and short story writer.  I had no idea the deep dive and the many many iterations and years it would take  to complete the book. I tried to get an agent or publisher, however, the book languished on my computer. Years passed, then with the advent of iMovie and using my memoir as the scaffolding I created a documentary.  It was an official selection of New FilmMakers NY  2020 and a Spotlight Documentary Bronze award winner for artistic merit.

Unlike other practicing therapists who worked under a strict code of ethics, there were no such boundaries for the Sullivanians or "the group," as the members of the Institute and their therapists were self-referentially known. Sex between patients and therapists, the wide use of Valium, and drinking were encouraged

The  Village Voice and NewYorkMagazine, documented these events in 1989, blowing the lid off the pathological and secretive lives of the group from its seemingly benign beginnings to the children and to the bravery of three former members and the custody battles that ensued.  One, a  very brave mother who was forced into hiding with her newborn baby, and two fathers who fought for custody after escaping.

The  Sullivanians were eventually brought down by their collective paranoia, and hubris. Through Blue Window recounts all these events in a podcast for anyone who would find it hard to wrap their head around the want or need to belong to a group like this and wants to understand why.
 
This is my personal accounting tracing early childhood trauma that made me vulnerable to the lure of a group that painted itself as the vanguard party, where the patients were controlled by the information they revealed in sessions as well as by sex, sleep deprivation, and valium, This is what you will hear in Through a Blue Window: the podcast now available for download through many platforms: Apple, Amazon, iheartradio
 
The documentary can be seen on my YouTube  channel shellfein1. 

Thank you so much for your time. I would love to hear your thoughts
https://youtu.be/ADhx7KHb_p8  (trailer)
https://youtu.be/4WUpfh3HFlg ( full )
www.shelleyfeinerman.com
shellfein2@aol.com


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The complete documentary Through a BlueWindow can be seen on my youtube channel shellfein1. I would love to hear your thoughts.
Thank you