Episode 299 - The Perfect Father

The brothers continue their study of Ephesians in chapter 6. Verse 1-4 in today's podcast.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:28

And welcome to another episode of Two Brothers One Bible Podcast. Yes, that's right. You're listening to us. That was impressive, wasn't it? Are you talking to me? Are you are you sitting across from me? I thought you were talking to someone else. Well, I'm talking to you and all the people out there, the numerous people out there that listen. Out in Radioland? Well, it's it's not really a radio land, but it's podcast land. Podcast land. Right next to Radioland. It's right next, it's right next to Radio Land. That's exactly right. Well, if you're listening on this podcast, we thank you for that. Thank you. And and if you're listening on Radioland, then you need to get your uh some kind of adjustment because I'm talking about how this works. Oh my goodness. We're our Two Brothers One Bible Podcast. We are from New Song Baptist Church. My name is Robert Wakefield. I'm Peter Sears. And we are your hosts for the next, oh, 17, 18 minutes. Don't time us. Because you never know where we're gonna go. But uh we're gonna be finishing up today. We're gonna finish the entire book of uh, well, I say today. We're starting chapter six, yes, which is the final chapter of of the Ephesians. And well, what are your initial thoughts about uh Ephesians 1 through 5 so far?

SPEAKER_01 1:44

I've just loved Ephesians. I think it's it's of course we say this with every chapter in every book. I you know, it sounds like we we're not sincere, but honestly, um Ephesians six or Ephesians the the six chapters in Ephesians is just just remarkable.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

You know, it's it's really what stood out to me when it because I've never really I've read Ephesians many, many times. Sure. But I've never really just broken it down like we do on this podcast. And when you sit there and you break it down and into just these little chunks, you can really get a lot out of it.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

Right.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

And and I have really been enriched by the things that Ephesians one through five have said.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Yeah. In fact, after Easter, uh as a church, we're gonna look at uh at Ephesians in our on our Sundays. Oh, that'd be great. Uh for twelve weeks.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

So pretty much a half a chapter each week for for for twelve weeks.

SPEAKER_00 2:39

Okay. So so this this Ephesians thing that we're doing now, it could be a precursor or we it could be being done at the same time. Uh we're we're doing my homework. Well, that's what it's all about. Yeah. Help help Peter with this sermon. Well, okay, so we're gonna be in chapter six today. We're gonna be reading uh verses one through nine. So, Peter, if you've got that in front of you.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

I do. All right, here we go. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may go well with you, and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slaves or free. And masters, treat your slaves in the same way, do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.

SPEAKER_00 4:03

All right, so that is the word of the Lord. So right there in verse one, it it's it's really different for this time period that Paul is addressing children right from the get-go on this uh it says children. Yeah. And usually, you know, people of this time period did not address children like that.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

That's true.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

And so it's just I I really think it's cool because he's bringing them into this family relationship and and calling them out.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

So I I like that part of it. What do you think?

SPEAKER_01 4:38

Well, um, there's different words for children. Okay. Um kind of like we would say an infant or a toddler or you know, preschooler, young child, teen. Yeah. So the the Greek word that's used here uh is really for a little one, you know, really young. Right. Um and so it's kind of you wouldn't think if if he's obviously he's sending a letter because he's in prison, so he's sending it to a church, and so why would you address a preschool aged child? I'm kind of thinking, I know I'm I'm at that magical age where everybody looks like a kid.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

You know, and I think that's where we see in John's letters, he too uses the word child. In fact, it's the same same Greek word. Okay. And so I think it's just this he's an older person and he's looking at all these young people, and they all just seem like kids to him. Okay. So that's what I think. I don't really think because like you say, if you were under the age of 16, you you didn't really matter. Right. You didn't you didn't have a voice, you know. And in fact, even in our country, I don't think it was until the 70s where children got some some rights, you know, where they were recognized. So uh certainly, you know, two thousand years ago, this wouldn't have been a big deal to address the children.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Right, right. Well, you know, the thing that the fact that he starts out with children and then he talks about obeying your parents. Yeah. So that to me is he's really making children full participants in this Christian life thing. I I like that. Yeah. Uh because it was it could have been very easy for him to say, hey, uh, do what your mom and dad say. Well, sure. Yeah. But yeah, he's uh he's actually saying obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. So he's that that word obey is hippacuite. Wow. Yeah, I just like that. That's the Greek word there. And it literally means to listen under, to place oneself under the guidance of. Well, and it's interesting because in in chapter five, he was talking about submit.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

That was the big word. It was. I think there's a difference between submission and obedience. Okay. So this is a step up. It is. This is this is more than submitting, this is being obedient. Right. And and I I like what how he ends verse one. You know, I I think all of us are still three-year-olds inside, not outside. If you've been around a three-year-old, their favorite question is why. It is you know, and so no matter what you do, you know, why? You know, why is the sky blue? Why do zebras have stripes? You know, it just goes on and on and on and on. And and they want to know the why. They're trying to figure out the world, and I think that little curiosity in us, and so Paul answers the why question. And it's it's really a simple reason. It is, it's right. That's that's so true. Yeah, you're really ready. You know, if you say, Well, why should should children obey their parents? You could say, Well, well, that's the right thing to do. Right. You know, right.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

Did you see what I did there? Right? I know. Did you catch that?

SPEAKER_01 7:51

It's uncanny.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Well, you know, I was thinking about this this children uh obeying your parents in the Lord. Uh disobeying part is showing that you really trust them. You know, as as a child, you really put your trust into them. It kind of reminds me of when uh we we've all done this when we're at the the pool and our kids are small. Right. And we're in the pool, and we say, Okay, jump. Right. I got you. Right. Jump in my arms. And they sort of think for a minute and they're looking and they're thinking, it's the deep end. They told me to stay away from the deep end. And you as a parent says, just trust me. Yeah. Obey, you know, it's not an obey thing. Just trust it's just a trust thing when you obey someone. Yeah. And they jump into your arms. Right. And you both sink to the bottom. I didn't expect to take that dark turn there. No, I mean that last part of it. But anyway, they they jump into your arms because they're so trusting. And that's kind of the that's the the lead up to obeying.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

Yeah, you know, because he's going to address, you know, more categories here, but you know, the thing about obeying is sometimes we we like what they're asking us to do, and sometimes we don't. That's true. Sometimes we think, well, that makes sense, and sometimes we're going, I I don't trust that. Right. And so it is, it's respecting the relationship, even if you don't respect what what's being said. Okay. That's a good point. And so, um, and and it's a it's a matter of honor, and so I I like that Paul is highlighting this command that Moses gave or God gave through Moses. Right.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

And he talks about that, that's verse two, honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise. So that this is really just the the fifth commandment uh that he's talking about. Right. And he's just reminding these children this is what you're supposed to do. Now talk about honor for a second.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

You know, I was thinking about honor, uh, especially in in what you know the Ten Commandments say. Um in that time frame, even even in the time of Jesus, there there wasn't any kind of Medicare program, there wasn't any kind of nursing facilities or any of those things. And so when someone got older, it was the burden of the family.

unknown 10:12

Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

And uh, and so that honoring was something that was very real. It's not in the context of, well, I have to do this until I'm age 18, and then I don't have to do anything. And then I'm done. Yeah. Yeah. I'm I'm a grown person, and and so they have to fend for themselves. This honoring, it means you're caring for them, you're respecting them, you you cherish them, you treasure them. And and sometimes, you know, that gets whole hard to do. Sure. Especially as they get older, you know, it's it's uh, but it's the loving, it's the right Paul said in verse one, it's the right thing.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

It's the right thing to do. You know, obedience is uh for childhood. Uh honor is for a lifetime. There you go. I like that. And uh so honor includes this. This is what this guy wrote. He wrote, uh it includes uh speaking uh respectfully, it includes caring for aging parents. Yeah. Uh it includes valuing their wisdom, which is really good. Yeah. And acknowledging their sacrifices. So um I think those are the are the three things for honoring, or four things for honoring. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

We kind of go through cycles. Uh, you know, as a as a little kid, man, they're the smartest people on the earth. That's right. Then when you get a little older, it's like, these people are so dumb and clueless. They have no idea. And then when we start having kids, it's like, man, they're back to being geniuses, aren't they? That is so true.

SPEAKER_00 11:36

My dad used to just smile at me when I was a young dad. Yeah. And uh Lynn C Lar and they would be doing something that they sh probably shouldn't have been doing. Yeah. And I I would I'd look over at my dad and he would just be grinning from ear to ear. Yep. And I just thought, okay, I don't need to talk to him right now because I don't know what I was gonna say. Yeah, I don't want to hear it. Well, you did that back when you were three years old, and oh, you know, so but you know, it's just an honor thing, but you're right, it is a cycle thing. Uh we go back and uh he was one of the greatest guys I ever knew. Absolutely. Uh so uh and then that leads us to verse four, which says, Fathers do not exasperate your children. Now, does that mean aggravate? I don't think having fun and aggravating your kids is exasperating them.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

Well, I would I would say it may. It depends on the temperament of that child. Absolutely. Yeah. So, you know, what what Paul's saying is look, here's verses one, two, and three. You know, we want the children to obey their parents. However, and don't, as parents, poke your child. Don't aggravate them, don't irritate them, don't don't be unreasonable with them. Exactly. And and so there's there's an important relationship with her. And uh, I remember when my kids were little, um, man, they they would fight tooth and nail, especially in the car. And I'll I'm an only child, so this whole sibling thing, I I never got it. Cheryl kept saying, This is normal, relax. Right. And so I remember one time we we had um a Ford Fairmont station wagon. I literally put gray duct tape down the the red seat to this is your space and that's my space, and and my daughter shouts out, he's breathing my air, and it's like I I give up. But when they would aggravate me, I would say to them, stop acting like children. Oh and their response would be, but dad, we are children. We are children, and I said that to remind myself they're just kids. And I think that's what Paul's talking about in verse four is is there's there's healthy parameters, and as parents, we need a parent. Right. We don't need to be their friend, we don't need to be a bully, we don't need to, you know, demand control. And you know, if if if we're gonna be tyrants about the whole relationship, it's gonna be really awkward. It's gonna be a tough, difficult relationship. And it's not gonna be a good relationship. No, you know, and and we saw this stress time and time again about the submission. It's a whole lot easier to submit to someone that you know loves you, cares for you, wants the best for you. And that's the same thing true here for parents.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

Exactly right. So when we think about this, do not exasperate, uh that's uh don't provoke them, frustrate them, don't crush their spirit, uh a parent in such a way that doesn't produce uh resentment. Uh those are things that this guy uh uh mentioned. Uh the part that says bring them up means to nourish, uh feed and cultivate. Yeah. So that there's your there's your responsibility to see ads. Exactly right there is to uh to bring that up.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Well, and also notice in verse four uh again, Paul is very deliberate and intentional in his language. I mean, we've talked before about the adjectives. Pay attention to the adjectives. Or again, he says two words. Now you if you think about it, he could say instead, bring them up in training of the Lord. Or he could say, bring them up in the instruction of the Lord. Right. Why does he say training and instruction? Well, if you look at those words, training actually means for correction, it means more of the physical, give them a little swat on the popo if they're acting up. Right. Instruction means it's more of a verbal, it's it's reasoning with them. And so Paul says both of these go hand in hand. And obviously, as a child gets older, there needs to be more verbal than physical. Right. And and and we don't want to overdo the physical, but sometimes the the best way to get someone's attention is you know that's true. I mean, we've we've all had that addressed in our life. Oh my goodness, yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Yeah, that dad had a belt readily available whenever he needed it. There you go. Just the mention of it was enough. Yeah. Do I need to go get the belt? Yeah, no, sir. You don't. I got it. Yeah, I'll go get it. I couldn't find it, sir. Yeah, I couldn't find it, Dad. Sorry. Gave it my best shot. So this this whole thing about uh fathers and and children and and training and instruction, the fact that you mentioned uh those two words, training and instruction, but notice with the other part of the Lord. Absolutely. That's the part that kind of jumped off me off the page to me too, because you know, it's so easy for us to train our children in the way we think. Right. Which is sometimes not good. Yeah. And if we're or if we're training our children or grandchildren, whatever the situation is, we need to be sure that we're doing it in the name of the Lord with His precepts instead of our own.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

Yeah, yeah. Well, and you've you know this to be true because you have two daughters. I have a son and a daughter, and they're night and day. You know, and I think that's part of where God just smiles, you know, kind of like what you said about your dad smiling when they acted up. I think God does this on purpose. And so you can't you can't raise someone like you were raised, and you can't raise every child the same way. They're all unique. And God made them that way. And so part of our role as a parent is to come to the Lord and saying, How do you want me to raise the child you gave me? Right. You know, what's their because like we said in the beginning, you know, when we talked about exasperate, if your sarcasm crushes the spirit of a child, then you don't want to be sarcastic. They don't understand it.

SPEAKER_00 17:41

No.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

So it's a matter of saying, Okay, you gave me this wonderful gift of this child. How do you want me to raise them? Right. What what kind of nurturing do they need? What kind of how do they need to that role model? You know, for one of my kids, it was get the belt. For the other one, it's like, come on, let's be reasonable about this. Right. You know, and they didn't they didn't need to be equally disciplined. They didn't need to one was different than the other.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

Right. And you know what we always say? We raised them the same way. How could they be so different?

SPEAKER_01 18:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

I have heard I've I've even said that. You know, well, you know, how is this one so much different than the other one when we raised you the same way? Well, in reality, we probably didn't raise them in the same way.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

No. Or or maybe you should have been more intentional about the differences, the nuances of who they are. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 18:29

Maybe that's what we should have thought thought about. But because I've I've heard a lot of people say that that I I don't understand why my son doesn't believe in Jesus when I took them to church every single Sunday.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

You know those other things is I'm never going to parent my children the way I was parenting.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

And then you hear your mother or your dad's voice coming out of your mouth, and it's like, oh, I guess I'm doing the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

I cannot tell you how many times I heard Charles Wakefield coming through my mouth. So funny. Because you know, you don't think about stuff like that until you have children of your own.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

One and how are you going to do anything different? That's the only model you have. It may have been a good one, it may have been fantastic, it may have been the worst model in the world. Yeah. And so that's why I say, as a parent who's been gifted and blessed by these children, we need to go back to the Lord continuously and say, How do you want me to raise your child in the Lord so that they can be nurtured and loved and have a wonderful foundation for scripture and a great relove for the Lord. And so I can't do that without God's help.

SPEAKER_00 19:41

Without God's help. Absolutely. That that's great, Peter. And that's that's another thing, too, that I think that we should emphasize that if you did not have a good earthly father, you have a perfect heavenly father. Well said. All right, so that's gonna do it for this episode of Two Brothers One Bible Podcast. We got three verses, four verses then. Yes, we did. Congratulations. Thank you so much. I feel so good. So we'll pick it up for right there. I'm Robert Wakefield. I'm Peter Stears. Thanks so much for listening to Two Brothers One Bible Podcast, and God bless.