BTB Daily May 14

Sandy gets his much anticipated massage from twins. A handful more Mum's Bum Cup contenders are reviewed, plus the Boffins give call outs to all those celebrating Anniversary tours this season.

Transcript

SPEAKER_06 0:00

Okay, here we go. I have been looking so forward to this massage. Can't believe it. How big is this boss? It feels like I've been walking for five minutes. I'm still going. Oh, there's the door down the end. Oh, someone's coming out. Oh, hello Benzaber. Yeah, I I wonder what the hell Benzaber was doing in there. He must be here helping look for those two shooters who didn't organise transport airline, stole their little sister's bike and are now doubling each other there. Okay, here we are. Oh I've been waiting for this. There's a sign on the door, right? Okay, what's it say? Please enter in this robe, leaving your underwear on. Okay. Lie face down on the massage table. Well that's all pretty simple. Oh, it's it's quiet in here. It's dark too. Lovely candles, though. It's really relaxing mode. Just the way I like it. Is that a hint of sandalwood in the air? I think it is. Oh that's nice. Oh, a fringe penny, I can smell that too. I'm already relaxed. I can see the oils over there, the essential ones. I love it. I can't wait. This is gonna be so exciting. Twins, I'm getting a massage from twins. Oh, I heard something. There must be some oh yeah, I can hear a little bit of rustling. Here we go, here we go. Oh, I feel those hands on my ankles and calves. Oh, she has strong fingers, this one. She's getting right in there. Oh yeah. Oh, there's the second pair of hands up on my shoulders. Oh, they're strong hands too. She's getting right in. Digging right in next to my collarbones. Oh yeah, they're getting right here. Hey! Oh that pinched. Oh, I think she hit a tendon. Right, down my back, shoulders. Oh, that's that's a deep massage. I didn't I didn't know it was gonna be so deep. It's like you wanna leave me with some verbore up there? I don't think I said that out loud. How many verbaree came in the crush? These girls, they uh strong as oxes and ah jeez. Oh goodness gracious, that was my hand string. I think I just snapped. Oh, I've gotta pretend that it's not hurting. This lay here, lay down. Oh, I think there's tears coming through this fist portal that you look oh yeah, I can see him dropping on the floor. I think it's so dark in here. Oh god, no, that's my lower back. I think she's just pushed it into the top of my ankles. Oh my god. Oh is that my butt? Whoa, whoa, oh no, jeez, that's a deep butter crab. That one, I can nearly feel that hand come out and shake hands with me out front. Oh the asteroid this is quite pain painful. Oh thank goodness, it stopped for a wee moment. Oh I get my breath back. Rono flip over. That's a really deep voice for a girl. You heard him flip over. And that one was a lot closer to my ears, and that is definitely not a girl. This can't be happening. Everything is screaming at me to run. It can't be two men, can it? And blokes either. Are you gonna open an eye and have a look? Oh, they've gotta be six foot five, these guys. They're built like bricks. How am I gonna I'm so glad I kept my underwear on. Oh how am I gonna get out of here? He's got my ankles.

SPEAKER_05 3:46

Oh and he's grabbed my wrists. I don't wanna look.

SPEAKER_06 3:49

Oh dude from Garfuts said just flipping like a pancake.

SPEAKER_03 4:09

Hello, hello, hello, everybody out there in Be the Ball Land. I think we're down to about 21 sleep, something like that. It might be more, might be less. I haven't counted, but I know it's weeks and days, not months, and I'm getting very excited. And uh life is just flying by, quite literally, in the luxury tour coach that we're heading over to Adelaide with. How are you going, Lori? Yeah, I'm going great. Slept like a baby. Ted said nearly was like nearly sleeping on a train, you know. Well we weren't moving anywhere. Pete pulled over for the night. Oh right, well that would explain it. Okay. Well there was no click clack. Must have been a dream. How about you, Mario, down the end? You're looking uh very relaxed and happy.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

You're not gonna believe this, mate. I went upstairs onto the roof this morning and I thought I'm just gonna have a little swim in the waiting pool they have up there, it's lovely. And I'm just lying there minding my own business, and two of the most beautiful ladies I've ever seen in my life, they come over with a tail and some sunscreen and said, Can we rub some sunscreen on for you? And I thought, Oh my lord, of course you can. Go for your life, baby. And they rubbed it all over me, and then one of them got a fan and fanned me, and another one bought me cocktails, mate, and then we laughed and we frolicked in the pool, and it was lovely, mate. Excellent.

SPEAKER_04 5:20

Oh, that's a sensational morning. Tell me about it. That is wonderful. What did you get up to, Ben? I was down in the uh wine room, of course, and uh trying some lovely Pinot Grease and uh a few other lovely wines. And how did they stack up? Well, not as good as Shadow Verma feet. Uh of course mine are always going to be better, substantially better, it must be said, too. But uh quite enjoyed it. Got a little bit tipsy and uh had some wonderful classical music in there and uh what's some highlights from the third test in the nineteen forty-eight Invincible series.

SPEAKER_03 5:49

And that brings us to you, Sandy. You're looking relatively glum there. I thought you were going in to get your uh massage this morning from the twins. It uh wasn't what I was expecting.

SPEAKER_06 6:01

Shall we say that?

SPEAKER_03 6:02

Yeah, I noticed you're limping as you you came in. Are you are you okay?

SPEAKER_06 6:06

Uh there's parts of my body I didn't realise I had that were parts of my body. It was uh quite a rough massage and as I said, just completely against what I I was expecting. Oh, you seem a bit down about it. Well, I'm just trying to work through some things. It's okay. I I'll get that in the end.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

Oh mate, you should have come up to the pool with me.

SPEAKER_06 6:25

I uh I should have. I wonder how many pairs of twins they have on this bus.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

Well, Pete was telling me when I was talking to him last night after we pulled over, he said there's two sets of twins.

SPEAKER_06 6:35

Why I think I've met one of them. I'd like to meet your set of twins, I think.

SPEAKER_02 6:39

Well, if you had taken me to twins night at the local club all these times, mate, I'm telling you I am a chick magnon, mate.

SPEAKER_03 6:46

That may indeed be so, Mario, but I tell you it's time to get back down to work, and uh we left yesterday, of course, where we're going over the individual chances of our players in the Mum's Bum Cup, uh, the eighteenth year of it, and it'll be the seventeenth time we were crowned a champion. It'll be the 18th champion though, because we did have that tie a couple of years ago. Diva Dave and Craig's 80s do. Uh before we get to that though, Laurie, I believe that you have uh an update that Carnival asked you to mention. Yeah, he did, boys. It's the last Tatdoo Trophy event of the year. The USPGA major kicks off tonight, Australian time, 10.45 pm. Everyone, you need to get your picks in. Oh, it's a tremendous tournament, the Tatdoo Trophy, twelve events every year. If you win this, you are in the truly elite of the Beat the Ball Tour. And I tell you, there's three Wranglers sitting up the top now, decidedly nervous as they send in their picks to Carnival, no doubt.

SPEAKER_06 7:35

Hey, looking at the field, you know, Scotty Scheffler's up there, you've got Rory McElroy, all the usual suspects. But as far as the point score for the tattoo trophy, there's only three points in it between first and second, and it's not much different right down the ladder.

SPEAKER_03 7:50

And this is a big event. I mean, there's a hundred and fifty odd starters. If you can find a roughie here and you can jump right up that leaderboard, the the winner could come from the cloud, quite literally. Uh clouds, I should say. Not just one cloud, they could come from one cloud. I don't know. I haven't looked at any clouds. Oh, there were lots of clouds out there this morning, mate.

SPEAKER_02 8:09

I was making shapes with them as the girls sent me my drinks and kept me cool.

SPEAKER_04 8:14

Sounds like you're in love, Mario.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

Well, I'm gonna get a massage tomorrow. I'm looking at Sandy, he looks at a bit a bit drained, but I'm quite happy to go down and and see what the other set of twins can do for me.

SPEAKER_06 8:25

I get the right down there, I'd almost book. Make sure you're in there and I'd get an extra lengthy session in there, Mario. I think you'd really enjoy it.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

Oh, you have to book?

SPEAKER_06 8:34

Well, there's a few people on this coach, and uh yeah, you should book.

SPEAKER_02 8:37

Alright, uh, so what do you think? Half an hour?

SPEAKER_06 8:40

No, no, no. If I was you, Mario, for the massage with the twins, I'd go for at least a two-hour block.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

Oh, okay, mate, I'll do that after we finish this.

SPEAKER_03 8:48

Alright, getting back to it, boys. Tattoo trophy, last chance, USPGA all entries in by ten forty-five PM tonight. We will decide our champion who will be named on tour not long after it. And right now we have Water Tank Matt, Smitty Win, and Highwire Will. Wrangler Wrangler Wrangler, much to everyone else's dismay.

SPEAKER_06 9:05

Except mean, how good is it? Three Wranglers battling it out.

SPEAKER_03 9:09

But as I said, anyone could come from the clouds. Get your picks in, boys. Six multiplier, three multiplier, one multiplier, send them through to Carnival in order.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

Oh yeah, yeah, bring that shit on, man. Oh god, I love it. I see Oh god, I hurt a little, but I'm alright.

SPEAKER_05 9:35

Number fifty-one. Sideshow Sam. Wrangler.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

Hopping straight into it, boys. We're gonna start today's players with number 51 and skipper of the Wranglers, Sideshow Sam. Now, he's a four to one, and there are plenty that believe he should be at least three to one with Strength and Johnna, and that he is in fact the man to beat this year. Agree or disagree?

SPEAKER_06 9:57

I I agree entirely. The captain of the Wranglers. He's been so close in the last couple of years. He's he's got his foot right on the till, his hoof on the till, his nanane on the till, he's got everything on the till, and I for one think he is the man.

SPEAKER_03 10:11

Well, geez, that brought a bit of life back into the big Scotsman, isn't it?

SPEAKER_06 10:14

Hey Muscosi, you know that half Scottish, half Aussie.

SPEAKER_03 10:17

Which half's which?

SPEAKER_06 10:18

Uh after this morning, I've got no idea.

SPEAKER_03 10:20

Well, just say with sideshow Sam, let's say he is a massive champ, no doubt about it. And let's have a look at some of his finishes over the last four years. He finished runner up last year, fourteenth the year before, eighth the year before that, and runner up again there in beat the ball thirteen, was it, or fourteen? Beat the ball fourteen, he was runner up. So twice in the last four years he's been runner-up.

SPEAKER_04 10:42

Ah, he's gonna end up like a Warwick Farm fella soon. That's the biggest Brad's made him be the ball.

SPEAKER_03 10:47

Well, Wok has unfortunately never got to don the green jacket. Uh he won't get a chance this year, obviously, being overseas. Uh, but sideshow Sam could make up for his fellow Wrangler right there. He's got to be huge, huge chance. Yeah, to make the top eight the last four years running, strengthened Johnna, so he might be taking a bit of heat off Sam there in the market. Uh, there has been a bit of money the bookies have said for Sam, so I think that uh little dribble might turn into a tidal wave come tour time if you want to get some money back, that is. Uh so he is definitely one that the shooters have got that they might need to take out.

SPEAKER_04 11:17

Uh the King Brands did a number on him years ago. All you gotta do is put buckleys with him.

SPEAKER_03 11:21

Yeah, I remember that. Oh, so does he. He uh Sideshow often brings that up. He's gone into the Sunday a chance. So I think it was the year he finished 14th, and uh Buckles was his car partner for the day, and he turned up with a six-pack before they'd even teed off, and by about the third hole, Sideshow Sam was no longer a chance to win.

SPEAKER_02 11:38

The general can do that, mate, you know, he's a big character, great fun to be around and have on tour. But if you're sharing a carp with him and you are after Green Jack of Glory, my lord, there's about forty-five others you prefer to be with 'cause it's party time, whether you like it or not.

SPEAKER_03 11:53

Alright, so Sideshow Sam, I think it's we're all in unanimous decision here. He is the major threat right now to Strength and Jonna, and the four to one is spot on, maybe a little bit overs even.

SPEAKER_05 12:03

Number eighty-four Walkstar Jimmy Shooter.

SPEAKER_03 12:09

Speaking of cart buddies, we all know that uh Jimmy nearly killed Carnival a few years ago when uh he wasn't even sitting in the driver's seat. Uh many are still wondering how he did it. He was very talented. Send him as a disruptor that day, no doubt about it, by the shooters team. He is definitely one that is probably uh being overlooked here, don't you think? Oh, damn right he is. Box star Jimmy. He's had a huge year for the shooters, right across all the comps, and he is uh one of the best team players you'd ever get. And last year he finished 11th, and two years before that, 14th, missed the cut last year, and he's probably still a little bit rattled from pinning the beat-aball captain to another cart, you know, in a screaming agony. But uh all's well that ends well, and Jimmy has been on a couple of driving courses since, and he should be right to go. So whoever gets him in a car will be happy. Speaking of which, the group for day one Mum's Bum Cup, the skippers have gotten together and they, after hours behind closed doors, they have selected their teams uh for the day one groups, and I tell you what, it's gonna be good fun next week when we get down to it. Yeah, well it will be. Uh we whoever's with Jimmy will hopefully be driving and not him. But then again, he was in the passenger seat, so maybe you want to be in the passenger seat and Jimmy's driving. This is getting way too confusing to me, mate. Just get down to it. Can Jimmy win or not? Oh I actually like the odds more than anything else. Fifteen to one. He's finished, he's made the cut two of the last three years. I I think the bookies may have uh missed a trick with him, and uh there might be fifty cents each way going on from a few of the shooters, lads.

SPEAKER_06 13:37

Personally, I thought it might be a cat or dog bet, you know, a police. I know one of their members is very upset that you you can't bet on a police on any of these people.

SPEAKER_03 13:47

Ben, King Browns, what do they think about Jimmy's chances?

SPEAKER_04 13:49

Well he hasn't really been spoken about in much depth. Uh they've they've got a lot of chances, the shooters this year, so add him to the list. I mean, you look at Grunt and Growen and then you you look at Ben Zabare and a few others, and there's some mail coming out from the Central West that you'll touch on later, no doubt. Yes, we will. Uh so I think he is definitely one for those who don't mind a bit of value on their punt.

SPEAKER_03 14:10

Alright then, so Wakstar Jimmy, nice chance, uh handicap-wise, he is moving out like a lot of players from last year. So he's gone from 32 out to 34, made the cut two of the last three. You've got to be thinking fifteens. That's not too shabby at all.

SPEAKER_05 14:24

Number 42, Nickobee Rising.

SPEAKER_03 14:30

One from our very own Croc stable, Nickobee Rising, long time tourist, huge fan of his, and uh it would be wonderful to see him win. It'd excite me no end to see Nicoby wearing that green jacket just like his old man Mikaby, Mikkaby Nicobee, and don't forget we've got Joshaby who'll be down the line a little bit later. Uh do we see him as having a a chance? It's very difficult to get excited about Nicobee's chances. He's had such a massive year. You know, he's he's become a dad again and he's been out there and he's taken over the business and you know he's really kicking big goals in life, and but life can then in return take away your time. That's what happens. There's a cost for everything. I don't know, I've heard no whispers at all that he's even been on a golf course.

SPEAKER_04 15:09

I believe he drove past one last week.

SPEAKER_02 15:11

Maybe that's the way he plays best, mate, you know, nice and fresh and and cool and ready to go. No worries about their golf.

SPEAKER_06 15:17

They can't see Nicobee doing any damage. He's he's still on sixty, a handicap to sixty. You know, that's a big handicap, but they can't go any further than that. The book is, and you'd think there'd be a bit of meal for his old man running the book, but he's still got him at twenty to one. That might seem a little bit tight, but let's be honest, uh, there's no one that really goes out to fifties or a hundreds, maybe one that we'll get to. Uh so Nickobee and he's missed the cut, you know, the last three years running, I think it is.

SPEAKER_03 15:43

Yep, that's right. He's missed the last three years. He did finish 11th in Beat the Ball 14. Uh that is equal to his best because uh he did the same in beat the ball 11, which was in Adelaide. So if there's a horses for courses mentality around this whole thing, Nickabee Rising could be your man. Uh, 20 to 1, I'll tell you what, that's not to be sneezed at. Twenty on that, that's 400 in the kick. Uh but you've got to be willing to put the 20 down, and I think you would like a little bit of mail uh before you did that. Yeah, you're right. As I said, it'd be lovely to see Nick Wynn be up there, you know, champion, woo-woo, like his old man, not sounding like an ambulance like I just did. Uh but I've it's a no from me.

SPEAKER_06 16:19

Uh yeah, the Wranglers haven't really got him on their spot board, so no from us.

SPEAKER_04 16:24

And we can't. You just can't. You need Nickleby to produce a little bit of form before you can get him with any confidence.

SPEAKER_02 16:29

I'm gonna say go, Nickleby. I'm hoping you'll get there, mate. You pull that whip and you come up fresh as a daisy, and you just smack him around, mate. Mum's Mum Cup champion. That sounds like a good title for you, my friend.

SPEAKER_03 16:40

Alright, Mario, settle down, settle down. Let's just say it'd be a huge surprise if Nickleby got there.

SPEAKER_05 16:45

Number 79. Trendsetter Todd.

SPEAKER_03 16:49

King Brown. This was in fact going to be a news alert, a breaking news alert. It probably will still go out through the chat group, maybe on FB. Uh, but I tell you what, the money just keeps on rolling for Trendsetter Todd.

SPEAKER_04 17:03

Well the bookies were on the blower this morning, ringing us up, telling us that the it's just he don't they don't know where it's coming from. Whether it's all rumour in your window, whether the players are trying to shape the market so that someone gets out and they can plonk on him, or that whether Trendsetter is a dead set legitimate chance at taking out the mum's bum cap.

SPEAKER_03 17:20

He's got no form to speak of, like unless he's been out there like getting golf license, been practicing in the sand dunes late at night or something, away from the prying eyes of the Peter Ball world. I just don't get it. I'm not sure why it's coming in. He he finished fifteenth two years ago, so he made the cut and uh finished fifteenth. Uh handicap wise, how's he going with that, Ron? Well he has got out, but uh most people have, but he got out by three shots, which is one more than most. Forty-seven out to fifty. I think the twenty-five to one is really exciting a lot of people. Like the top end of the market is thirty to one. That's Josh will be next and high wire will, and I'm sure we'll get to those two very shortly. But trendsetter, Todd, twenty-five to one, fifty, but you've got to follow the money, don't you?

SPEAKER_02 18:00

I don't know, mate. I followed the money home one night then though. I nearly got robbed again.

SPEAKER_03 18:05

Alright, I don't even know what that means, Mario. But yep, so trendsetter, they keep rolling for him. I've not witnessed him play, can he play? I've seen him play. He can hit a ball, there's no problems with it. It's as we've discussed earlier in the teams thing. That's controlling his aggression, that's the main thing here. And and really windy days. He's a competitor, he fights like a lion, uh, but it's sometimes he just boils over. See the red mist takes over, and that's the end of Todd for the day. Uh the heavy winds, uh, well, that's a different factor altogether. They can literally pick him up and move him four holes, and he'll be teeing off on the third, and then when that wind puts him down, he's actually hitting off on the seventh. Uh so you've got to be a little bit careful uh with the local conditions, and I'm sure all eyes will be on that weather board as we get closer. Uh, but he can hit a ball, there's no problem with that.

SPEAKER_06 18:46

Hey, well, if the money is coming for him, we'll be very interested to keep watching over the coming days just to see what place he's into. The bookie's gonna give us a heads up on that.

SPEAKER_03 18:55

Well, hopefully they will shortly. Uh next week we might have a few rolling in. Don't forget to start putting your uh bets on boys with the bookies, and and the great thing is that Sunday night champions table Chinese closing ceremony, there's a that's a mouthful for you there, just like the food. Even if your bet loses, you win because there's no profit. All the profits go on to Sunday night drinks for the whole group. And I believe we've got a little bit of carryover from last year even, so uh, we're off and running, so get on.

SPEAKER_05 19:20

Number sixty six Benzabare.

SPEAKER_06 19:25

I saw him here earlier. Was it I'm sure it was Benza Bear. We we had to brush past each other, you know, just going up and down the aisle there, and I think his hand actually touched my thigh. It was an accident, I'm sure. I'm sure um there were some other uh things that happened that it weren't an accident later on. Uh I'm still wrapping my head around a couple of them. Anywho, what was he doing here?

SPEAKER_03 19:46

Well that's w that's easy. The skippers were brought together for a top secret meeting, uh just to discuss things and and they're to work out those day one grips, which they've now done. Uh they were behind closed doors for hours uh negotiating, going over it's a very strategic thing putting through your day one grips for the Mums Bum Cup. Uh you've got to try and get like for like in there. So when uh somebody, a skipper for instance, lays down uh a gun from his team as a golfer, uh the other captains generally try to match that so they don't give away the points for the group easily uh on that Friday, uh, because it all counts towards the THC Premiership and that's what the skippers are trying to steer their team into. Glory. Glory to come Sunday night champions table. Um so they've been there doing that, and uh yeah, he was here. So they're all here, they're all gone again now.

SPEAKER_02 20:29

How do they get him, mate? It's unbelievable. I haven't seen one of them, I had no idea.

SPEAKER_03 20:33

Oh, chopper in, mate. Didn't you see the chopper earlier? Come in and out, uh Bruce had all got this. This is just unbelievable. It's like living in a bloody fairy tale right now, going down there.

SPEAKER_04 20:42

Except for those couple earlier that we went past on the pushbike, shooters, I believe they were. Yeah, that's right. They uh they struggled to uh get their transport worked out for Adelaide.

SPEAKER_03 20:50

Uh, they've had to leave early now. They're on uh their sister's push bike, got the bell. Uh that's a little e-bike, thank goodness, so they don't have to pedal the whole way, but it's bloody cold out there. Uh there was a photo circulating yesterday through Facebook and on the uh chat group. And as you can tell, those two are pretty much welded together at the moment, Josh and the Sergeant and Major Mortar. It'll just bring the team closer, quite literally. Okay, getting back to Benza Bear and his golf. Now he is another one that they are they being the bookies and the opposition skippers are keeping a very close eye on because it's seven to one and his handicap has jumped out again. Uh everyone's most people have good jumped out, one stroke to thirty-three. But it's the form of his last couple of years which have people intrigued as to whether Benza Bear could actually be the one this year. And he is also now on another alert. Yeah, that's right, Ron. He's been spotted out there playing Saturdays and Sundays out in the central west of New South Wales, uh wearing a disguise, actually, to try and keep low key. And he's been playing Saturdays and Sundays, so 36 holes a weekend for double RSL Golf Club, I believe, or someone very similar to that. And he's been going incognito. So he is uh I wouldn't be surprised if the bookies wind him in a couple of points. To even suspend betting on him at the moment after that came to light.

SPEAKER_02 22:03

That is big news, mate. You can't go around in disguises and especially adding around Dubbo. People know you, mate.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

Yeah, well he's done it and he's doing it for how long? That's the question now. Uh because last two years he's finished third last year, he finished eighth the year before. He is definitely on an upward curb.

SPEAKER_04 22:21

He got married earlier in the year, so he's nice and settled in life and all that sort of stuff. Intriguing indeed. He's definitely one that could get in there.

SPEAKER_02 22:29

And a chair as well.

SPEAKER_03 22:30

And people with games.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

And stories to tell.

SPEAKER_03 22:33

That'll do. But you heard it here first, everybody. All you be the ballers out there, Benny has been b weekends back to back, Saturdays and Sundays, eighteen holes, eighteen holes, thirty-six holes. He's finished in the top half dozen the last two years. He's a seven to one and his handicap's out to about thirty-three. That's a pretty damn good argument to back him. There are lies and damned lies about our captain. There's none of this is true. It's a smear campaign by you boys to try and get the spotlight off your own players and try and get some value out there. I'm telling you now, just back off Penny. He's ours, and he's not doing all this that you're saying he's doing. I don't think. Well maybe he is.

SPEAKER_05 23:07

Number sixty one.

SPEAKER_04 23:09

Craigsy eighties dude. Can't win, simple as that. Not even a factor.

SPEAKER_03 23:17

Well, that was a fairly succinct wrap-up on Craig's 80s answers from you down there. I guess that's the way the King Browns feel.

SPEAKER_04 23:24

I think everyone should feel that. He's still recovering from winning a couple of years ago, uh handicap wise. I think he's out to about twenty one this year, but if you look at his form over the last few years, Ron, it's hard to see Craig's doing anything. He's missed the cut two the last two years since winning. He missed the cut the year before that. Uh he did finish seventh and tenth the two years before that, but uh I think he's peaked. A what? What do you mean at what? He's climbed the top of the mountain, he's on his way down the other side. He's hit the apex and he's not going anymore.

SPEAKER_02 23:52

Oh don't say that, mate, don't say that.

SPEAKER_06 23:54

You really feel that he could be a chance this year, Mario.

SPEAKER_02 23:57

Oh no, mate, goodness no, I don't think he can win this year. I meant the word Apex. I watched a movie on Netflix the other day, mate. It is called Apex, and I tell you what, it freaked the shit out of me. I tell you, that's it. I was almost hiding behind the couch, you know. It was I had to turn the lights on, and I had to uh put a bit of music in the background. I had to almost get my mamma's oxygen machine out, mate, to get my my heart rate down, but uh oh it's a big movie.

SPEAKER_03 24:22

Oh yeah, I I've seen the shorts for it. I thought I I might watch it.

SPEAKER_02 24:25

Not with where you one, mate.

SPEAKER_03 24:27

Well, it's really done a number on you. The colours drained from your face and everything, Mario. A horror movie, I take it.

SPEAKER_04 24:32

I've seen it. It's not really horror, it's more a deep thriller, almost verging on horror, but uh, you know, some people can handle that sort of stuff and others can't. Well you've been handling the King Blound's horror story for years now, so I'm pretty sure that it hasn't affected you. Not at all. Easy. Breeze my way through it.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

Oh, mate, it did a number on me. I'm not gonna tell you anything that happened in case you watch it. And I'm saying yeah, you should watch it if you wanna, you know, get the heart rate up a little bit, but one thing I do know, mate, is I shall never eat beef jerky again.

SPEAKER_06 25:01

What's the goal with beef jerky anyway? I've never never really got it, you know. Who was the first person I think, oh yeah, I might try that? And just sneak a bit of beef into my uh uh just it's all wrong to me. And and uh you know, the name alone is a bit off putting, really. It's how do you get it from the bull?

SPEAKER_03 25:20

Well a bull doesn't just give up his jerky. Beef jerky was invented in Peru, if you really must know, and it's a way of uh making meat last, okay? Uh and it's called jerky because only idiots talk about it on a Beat the Bull podcast. So let's get back to it. We're all unanimous, Craigsy can't win.

SPEAKER_02 25:35

No, mate, but I'd back in my place. Just stay out of my way. You'll pay.

SPEAKER_04 25:40

Listen to what I say. How about I just go eat some hay? I can make things out of clay and lay by the bay. I just may.

SPEAKER_05 25:47

What do you say? BTB Tour Anniversaries.

SPEAKER_03 25:54

Okay, lads, we're just gonna leave the player ratings, rankings, etc. for the Mum's Bum Cup there for now. We've still got a fair bit of time before we hit the tour, and we'll be going through all the players. Each podcast, we'll do a handful of players. Uh, but right now we're going to cast our attention to something that really should be spoken about more often than it is, and that's the anniversaries of all the people that are touring and how many tourists have done how many tours, etc. A lot of this is on the website, a lot of the boys don't have time to go and check it out, but it's an important part of what the beadle ball is. Too right it is, mate. You know, you've got to be recognized for your service and for what you do within the tour. It's a it's a great tour and it's a great little community, and that's what it's ended up being, and and people hate those labels being put on it in times and and things like that. But that's that's what we are. You try and explain beat the ball to someone, you can't.

SPEAKER_04 26:39

It takes too bloody long. No one's patient enough for It's a wonderful thing. I've often thought for years that there should be praises given out. Not praises, but uh a recognition award of some sort for the amount of tours, the milestone awards.

SPEAKER_03 26:51

Well, years ago there was. There were keyrings that were given out at one point early in the piece for Beatleball, I think the first five year or ten year anniversaries, etc. Uh, but they didn't really last the keyrings, and that's because they fell apart.

SPEAKER_06 27:03

I've seen Carnival with his, he's still got one he carries around on the key ring. It's a bottle opener, but uh the circle's missing. It was telling me about it one there.

SPEAKER_03 27:11

Yeah, that's right. So there will be things down the line for major milestones body. And the 20th anniversary is coming up in a couple of years, as we know. Uh there's a lot planned, and there's a lot of things that are going to be happening, but we're not there yet, it's a couple of years away. We should look at those boys who are having their anniversaries this tour.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

Well, you've got to start with your rookies, mate, right? You know, the first year up, they're nice and excited, they don't know what to expect. They're going away with a big bunch of blokes. What should we say to the rookies, do you reckon?

SPEAKER_03 27:38

Well, it's really simple to hear early Harry and Erwin Geordie. Don't try and remember everyone's names. It's daunting enough, uh, just getting there on tour, taking it all in, understanding how we run through the weekend and and all the things that happens. There's a lot of socializing, as you can appreciate. New boys will love that, no doubt about it. Uh, but trying to remember everyone's names, uh, it's just not going to happen.

SPEAKER_06 27:58

That's that's all part of the tour, but that's that's the wonderful thing about having such a good group and such a nice group of a large number of people, uh, is that you meet new people every year. Like, you it's there's always something that comes out of every tour where someone you may not have spent much time with in the past, you spend a bit of time with in the golf cart or or on the beer somewhere, and you walk away from the tour going, wow, he was a really top fella. Good blog. That's exactly what Carnival has tried to do with this.

SPEAKER_03 28:25

Mickabee's another one who's been around since day dot. Uh, and all every person who's come into the tour has helped shape and build the tour to what it is. We've got some five-year anniversaries this year, which is super stuff, you know. I love it. Uh General Buckley's is making his fifth tour, and it should be a cracker.

SPEAKER_06 28:42

He's the leaf of the party, Buckley's. Uh he is always a great fun, great laugh, late and real joy to be around. Uh, and I think he'll be no different than ever. He was actually here a couple of years before that, but never got here.

SPEAKER_03 28:56

Yeah, that's right. I think he was in Melbourne from memory, and COVID screwed one of them up, and something came up another year. So he's actually been involved with the Beat the Ball for seven years, Buckleys, but uh he's uh making his fifth official tour, and we count everything in tours. That's exactly right. You uh can spend all season going in and all the comps and everything like that, but you are counted and judged on tours, the amount of tours you make. Highwire will, this is his fifth one. The young fellow, remember he came in as an 18-year-old? Well, he's 23 this year already, five years down. Uh he'll be looking to have a great time. Well, he has that rivalry with Joshua Benex, friendly rivalry. They get on like a house on fire, those two. Uh they went 36 hours straight, I think it was last year, and Tango Tom, he was part of that as well, the three of them, though. Um so they're gonna have a ball. They've got a little side bet going on too, for those of you that don't know, High Wire Will.

SPEAKER_04 29:43

Josh will be next, the first one to win the Mum's Bum Cup. Jeez, that could be waiting for the next 40 or 50 years. It may never happen.

SPEAKER_03 29:49

Yeah, I'd like the odds on it actually happening for one of them. They're both off 60 these days, and uh anyway, they have a great time. So well done, Highwire Will. Well done, Buckleys.

SPEAKER_02 29:58

Tank rider Joce, mate, I see he's making his fifth tour too.

SPEAKER_03 30:01

Yeah, he's had a tough year as we know, but he's gonna be there, tank rider, and uh five years. That's come very, very quickly, and joining him is uh another boy from out there, or boy man, I should say, is Major Mortar. He's also celebrating his five-year anniversary. So uh the fellas, uh, they all play cricket together, a lot of them, they all hang out together, uh, and they're all travelling together except for mortar. Uh, I'm not sure what the major's doing, uh, but they'll all be there en masse. Uh King Brown's in there, Tank Rider and General Buckley's, a highway willer Wrangler, of course, and a shooter in Major Mortar.

SPEAKER_06 30:32

And the ten-year anniversary. Here's this one. I get to name this. Sage Shaw Sam, the captain of the Wranglers, is making his tent tour. That's something. That's quite a milestone and it should be recognised. Well done, Sam. Congratulations. Uh now a skipper of a team, uh, and ten years up this year. Well done, man.

SPEAKER_03 30:50

And that takes us to it. What about this one? How's this? Fifteen tours. Fifteen years. We've got an inaugural in there, who's another Wrangler, Robbo's Pocket Rocket. Robbo's only missed two tours in the entire history of Beat the Ball, and one was to be a best man at a mate's wedding uh on a June long weekend, of course, years ago. And then he got crooked with COVID and and couldn't make the tour, and could have made the tour probably, but didn't want to infect anyone else. So uh a real team player, Robbo. Great to see the big man up there hitting his 15-year mark. Manscaper Nads and Mustard Key Matt. Now here's a couple of stall war boys, both uh King Browns. King Browns have got plenty in there this year. Erwin Geordie is a rookie, tank rider and buckley's has five years, and now they've got Nads and Mustard Key Matt making their 15-year tour. Uh so that's superb stuff. And a golf clap for all you fellas, well done. Uh there's some stuff coming out, I know, over the next 18 months to do with Hall of Fame, uh Life members, all that sort of stuff. But for right now, we just wanted to tip our hats to you and say enjoy the tour and enjoy what you've done on the Beat the Ball tour, the people you've met, and just have a great time. Yeah, I second that. Well done, fellas, nice work.

SPEAKER_04 31:57

You don't get that long for murder in some countries.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

Ron, who has made their most tours out of interest?

SPEAKER_03 32:02

Well, that's Carnival and Mickey Bee. They're both hitting their 17th tour this year. Of course, the COVID tour in Beat the Ball 12, uh, the whole world's top, we all know that. No need to go back into that. But they would have uh they're the only two that have been on every tour. Uh Robo was an inaugural with them, so they're badge numbers one, four, and ten. And uh, you know, they've done a fabulous job. The other guy that we should mention here is Saving Private, who goes on to his 16th tour this year. He has been a huge part of this tour from early days. I only missed the very first tour, and that's because he wasn't even invited. So he probably would have been on every one with us, I imagine. So the King Brown skipper, uh, hats off to you too. Well done. Sixteen years. So you've got records of this, I mean not you, but Carnival has records of this, and he gives them to you, gives you the tidbits or the info you want. Yeah, that's right. And as we move towards our 20th anniversary, there's a lot more stuff going to come out. But every player who's ever been on the tour, from the moment they're given their badge, uh every result they have has been recorded. Uh it's a very time-consuming job to put it all together though. But one of the things I have heard little birdies whisper about is that there's going to be maybe a revamp, or at the very least in their 20th anniversary year, all the players' individual profiles will go on or be found and updated regularly uh so that you can follow each other.

SPEAKER_02 33:14

But you can already see who's won all the competitions and everything because that's on their website. You just go and click on it and you see all the champions' boards.

SPEAKER_04 33:22

Yep, that's right. Every every I've seen I was only looking the other day at the Triple B champions because I'm looking at who may win this year. A lot of King Browns in that group. Uh be nice to see someone else get their name up on one of those boards.

SPEAKER_03 33:33

Yep, it's all there. Everything is absolutely recorded and and in there for anyone who wants to look. And when you're young, you don't give a shit. Let's be honest. Where you're young, you're ten foot tall, bulletproof, you're going away for a good time, and that's the way it should be. Good weekend. But as you get a bit older, uh, it's nice to look back and see things like photos, records, and all this stuff uh of something that you were part of. And beat a ball is one of those things that we're all part of and all should be proud of. Really that simple. Here, here. Couldn't have said it better myself. Yeah, nice Ron. Tusses.

SPEAKER_00 34:00

I would fill a pillowcase with golf balls and beat the best out of them. I would tear the dragon open fast and shove the job as go!

SPEAKER_04 34:09

Is that a direct quote from the shooter skipper there?

SPEAKER_03 34:11

No, no, it's not. That is shooter McGavin, though. And we are about to embark on the Happy Gilmore tour after all. Okay, we're out of time for this podcast, everyone. Hope you've enjoyed it, found out a little bit, learned a little bit, and uh had a laugh here or there. Uh, we're away for the weekend now. We've got some stuff to do, uh, which we're hoping to bring to you next weekend, obviously, as we continue on our luxury coach tour over to Adelaide. Uh till then, see ya later. Yeah, adios, amigos.

SPEAKER_06 34:37

Hey, don't forget, Mario, to book that massage two hours tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 34:41

Yes, mate, I can't wait. Looking forward to it.

SPEAKER_06 34:43

Okay, I'm out of here.

SPEAKER_05 34:45

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, be the ball.

SPEAKER_00 34:48

Think of a place that's really perfect. Your own happy place. Go there, and all your anger will just disappear.