Cwl Ep 153 - A story about discomfort

It’s story-telling time on the podcast!

In this episode, I’m sharing a story about a conversation I had with my kids about why the heck I’d ever choose to do public speaking. 

As teens and tweens entering into such a dynamic time of their life, where discomfort is unavoidable it was a brilliant conversation showing them what’s possible for us when we step outside our comfort zone. 

Enjoy the story and if you’re curious about joining the upcoming round of What’s the Story? Lisa’s four-week program that equips you with the skills, confidence and clarity to tell better stories click here for all the details.

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Transcript

Hey, welcome to the podcast. I'm just going to tell a little story today, and the next few episodes are going to be little mini story times as well. You do know I like telling stories. They just have a wonderful way of communicating and connecting that very little else does. And I often have these little moments, right? We've all got these moments where things happen and they become just more obvious to us. I've had a few of those recently just in this beautiful, delicious kind of transition expansion time for Lisa. Anyway, I thought I would just share a few stories from my life today. I just wanted to tell a little story about choosing discomfort and this actually came about chatting to my kids. So I was telling them that I'd been up in our attic. Now I was up in my attic because our hydronic heating that we have in our rental wasn't turning on and it's been getting a bit cold in Melbourne.

And I was doing all the things on the switch that usually work down downstairs. And then I realised, I think the problem's actually with the burner, the heater thing, I don't even know what you call it, which is actually found in our attic. So I went up there and I looked and all of them, I could see numbers and I could see things it looked on and I was just messing around with some of the buttons. And then I thought the buttons don't seem to be actually moving anything. And so I just pressed the on button.

Sure enough, everything, word into action and the heater came on and we were warming the hot water and that filtered down to the heaters. Brilliant. We have heat on now. I was I up there and there's a particular photo that I've been wanting to find, and I knew it was in the leases stuff that has gone from house to freaking house over the years, ever since I moved out of home. So I went to try and rummage and find it and it, it's in a photo album, I'm pretty sure. And I didn't find the photo album, but I did find this box. There were two boxes actually. One of them hilariously is from my very first digital clock that existed next to my bed and was the alarm and was very fancy. It had a FM radio, wow child of 1979, right here. And inside that all of these, well, they were my old speeches written out or on palm cards.

Now, if you weren't a public speaker, I palm cards were just hand sized cards that you'd write little notes on. God, my memory was good back then. I'd just have to write the start of a sentence and I could obviously, I remembered the whole paragraph, alright, to remember stuff like that again. Anyway, it is a treasure trove of delights. And I was telling the kids, I'm like, look, even this was my handwriting when I was a teenager and these were some of the things that we were discussing. And anyway, it was a bit of a laugh and I shared actually some of it on my Insta stories. But anyway, that night in bed as always happens, especially with my son, it's suddenly it's time to talk. And he said, mom, why did you do all those speeches? It's literally the worst thing. And I said, I loved it and I enjoyed it.

And he said, yeah, but weren't you nervous? And I said, absolutely. I was nervous. I'd be knees shaking, palms sweating, red faced. I was all the nerves all the time. I would practise that stuff over and over again. And I mean, my worst situation if it was a debate was being the third speaker. Because you can't actually prepare all that much as third speaker. You're just kind of pulling it all together and you're rebutting, which means you've got to be thinking on your feet and coming up with stuff and Oh, I didn't like that so much. I like to be able to prepare a speech, go into it, deliver. And I said, yeah, but I didn't let it stop me that I was nervous. And I guess I was always looking for opportunities to do different things. I was putting my hand up for different situations.

He's like exactly the opposite of me. And I said, no, I think that you don't even recognise how uncomfortable you are at the moment and how many new things that you are doing. He'll be 14 in September and it's like life is constantly asking you to be uncomfortable because there's so much newness going on for you right now. So there's a lot of growth happening for you. That's when you know you're growing because you're stretching, you've suddenly done something that you haven't done before. He is like, so are you saying if I just did the same thing every day, I wouldn't grow. And obviously this is not in the physical sense. And I said, well, it's very hard to grow and change and develop in your mind if you are not being stimulated by new things or just stepping outside that comfort zone. You could do the same thing absolutely every day, read the same book over and over and over again, and it just wouldn't expand you in the same way that new experiences, new people, new situations would.

He's like, I don't know if I like that. And I said, well, either way, as long as you are happy and healthy and feeling secure and liking your life, it doesn't matter how much growth you experience, he's like, do you still get nervous of stuff? I said, mate, I tell you all the time I get nervous. And I was nervous last year going on the big trip, but how glad are we that we all got a bit uncomfortable, we missed people. We all sorts of things happened that were deeply uncomfortable on that trip. Are you glad you did that? Yeah, mom, I am. And are you glad you went to your first soccer practise? Yeah, mom, I am. I said, well, you were very uncomfortable about that.

And it was just this reminder that it doesn't have to be big and crazy, it just has to be a step into something new. And then he asked for a full list of all of these things that I'd done in my life. Tell me more. Tell me what else you've done that you think you were nervous or uncomfortable. He was really fascinated by the public speaking. It just doesn't enter his brain why someone would put the himself through that level of torture. So he was really genuinely trying to understand why I would do that. And I said to him, I think that there's also just things that certain people like doing. I like talking. I like putting things together and saying them out loud. I love the challenge of it. I love the nervousness. I love being up there and delivering it. And then I like the feeling afterwards, but not everyone does. And that's not something that you have to aspire to or think that you need to do in order to grow and develop and change. But for me, it hasn't stopped making me feel nervous.

And I think when it does, maybe I don't even know if it'll still feel like the same sort of thrill. I mean, obviously I'm a lot more comfortable with it than I was back in year nine in the DAV debating competition. But I just thought it was really interesting his level of, I guess, appreciation for bravery and the discussion that we had about how that helps you become different and new and just more evolved. I felt like he reminded me to never stop, never stop being brave and trying different things. And I think I've been doing that a lot this year in loads and loads of different ways in my life, and it was just an interesting thing to be able to circle back and see how I was doing that as a kid. It's always sort of been about that. It was a really beautiful point of reflection about myself and an interesting conversation to have with my kids who are entering those teenage years where it's literally like a nonstop cycle of newness and outside comfort zone, isn't it? Walls are.

Anyway, I have a lovely little appreciation for that girl who was always putting her hand up to do things, and I'm glad I found that part of me again in this last little while. Feels good. So I hope you enjoyed that little story about choosing discomfort. It's a lovely thing to reflect upon. If you are someone who wants to tell more stories and wants to communicate in a storytelling kind of way, wanted to let you know that the doors to, what's the story? My four week programme are open now and I'll pop the link below. It's a really, really great programme for someone who is really trying to find their voice and wants to be able to share in ways that actually engage and connect and teach, and even sell storytelling is a really powerful tool. So I hope you enjoy this little series. I have lots more stories to come. See you soon.