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Beyond the Surface
How to Accept the Season You're In
March 25, 2019 Kailee Billerbeck

Have you ever felt like you have a million things to get done and no matter what you do, you just don't feel like you're getting anywhere? In this episode, learn how to accept the season you're in and breed success from said season. 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1:0:14Pay Miller bag. I'm a senior in college published authors, Self Improvement Blogger, blackbelt and lover of long random walk absolutely anywhere and everywhere. I hope you to dive with your life. Your mind can manifest. Welcome to episode 14

Speaker 2:0:43how to accept the season you're in. Have you ever felt overwhelmed by everything you have going on, whether it's school, family, friends, a job, trying to work out, eat healthy, getting sleep, volunteering and random commitments and so on and so forth and you just can't figure out how to prioritize it all. Or maybe you feel like you're just working really hard but you're not seeing any results and it's getting frustrating. Maybe like me, you felt paralyzed by everything you have to do, but you don't know where to even start. Something I've come to learn this semester is really understanding the importance of accepting the season you're in. So I really want to talk to you guys today about how to kind of identify what that season is and how to move forward knowing that that's a season you're in now. Like I kind of mentioned, this has been a very hard lesson for me to learn.

Speaker 2:1:38I'm just going to paint you a picture of how I was raised. So about two weeks ago, my sister came to visit and we were hanging out in California and she left. And when she got on the flight on her flight, I called my mom and I was like, I really want Mariah to stay here. I wish that she could just move down here. And then as we kinda started talking about it, I asked him, well what if she did online school and did move down here? So my mom and I kept talking and she got off her flight at like 1230 at night. So I stayed up until I could call her. But my mom was like, don't go all Kaylee on her. Let her proceed how she wants to and feel her out, see how she feels about the situation. So I called her just kind of repose.

Speaker 2:2:20What if you did online school or applied to a school down here and moved out and we could live together because she told me that she didn't really want to go back to where her school was. It's really snowy and cold and she loves the son and to be outdoors, I let her mull it over that night cause obviously she was tired from her flight, but I called her the next day and was like, how serious are you about this? Because I wanted to get a feel before, like when I've set my mind to something, there's no stopping me. I would go full force and I'm super stubborn. But luckily we were raised by the same parents. So she told me, Kelly, I'm 100% like, let's make this happen. So literally the day after she landed, we figured out all the obstacles we had to overcome loans, getting her into online school, getting her out of her current lease, figuring out what she was gonna move down, what she was going to do with a car.

Speaker 2:3:08And I'm not kidding. In that day we had a plan for all of those things. We had to figure out and within four days we had it all finalized that she was moving down here in August, we were raised, you put your mind to something, you figure out what you have to do and you do it. It's funny though because my mom's a lot more calculated with things, but my sister and I put her mind to something and there's no time to breathe. We do what we need to do, we get it done and we like to see results quick where my mom is like, okay girls, well we have to figure out how she's going to get out of her loan. We're like, that's not even a problem. Like, well, where there's a will, there's a way like we're going to make it happen. That's not an issue.

Speaker 2:3:44We should to put her mind to something and do it and that's just how I am. So being in a season where I've done a lot of work to make certain things happen, but I'm waiting on other people and having to be patient with the season that I've set for myself is really difficult because I like to see results quick and I like to just get things done and overcome and fix things. But when you're waiting on other people, you don't really have that same control over what's happening. I can't problem solve for other people. I've had to really focus in on just finishing school. I have a capstone project that's a 35 page paper, which will eventually be a 30 minute presentation and I'm super passionate about my research, but I can't be doing my research and writing that paper and trying to finish out school while doing my podcast every week, doing blog posts, reaching out to people, trying to get new opportunities and growing what I want to do.

Speaker 2:4:39So it's been so hard for me to have all these ideas and be doing this research that has to do with my passions, but not being able to act upon them. When I decided what season I was in. It was back in February. I was super overwhelmed and I told myself this semester you need to focus on where you're going to live next year. Getting a job to maintain life out in California and just staying consistent for the most part with my podcast, my blog, all that stuff and really just worrying about finishing out school and doing well on my paper now it's been a lot easier said than done because again, I'm somebody I dive in and I get things done, but I've done all the work I could for things like figuring out a living situation or getting a job and I've had to wait on other people and that is literally felt paralyzing and so frustrating because there's all these other things I'd rather be doing and I'm working so hard but not seeing any results.

Speaker 2:5:34Now that you kind of understand where I'm at, I want to share some tips and tricks that I either implemented or wish that I would have implemented sooner in order to accept your season and proceed within it. Now, number one, you have to name your season. This sounds super easy, but I honestly think that this is probably the hardest part because you genuinely have to relinquish control of other in your life. Put It on the backburner and bok focusing on just a couple things. For me, my season was again, graduating, finishing school, my paper and figuring out my next steps so that I could stay in California and didn't have to go back home. So I want you to think about your life right now. What is most important? What is most dire now? This isn't always going to be what's most immediate because for me, I had to figure out where I was going to live and what job I was going to have.

Speaker 2:6:29But those were things that weren't going to even come into play until like four months down the road from when I set my season. Yeah, there were things that I needed those four months to be able to do. And again, a season could be a month, it could be a couple months, it could be a year. You have to figure out what is most important to you and progressing right now. And then once you've been able to figure out what your season is, set a priority list. So for me, mine was my research. My research was first and foremost. So every time I got in my car, every time it was getting ready, I was listening to Ted talks, podcasts, things that had to do with what I was researching. So that I was constantly working on that. And then after that came figuring out a job and then I wanted to figure out where I needed to live.

Speaker 2:7:15How much was I going to be making, what could I afford? Set your priorities, know what's most important. Step three, just write down what you can do in the moment. What are the first things you can do? For me, it was my research that was stuff I could do every day and work on a little bit now was gonna start writing a paper I didn't have any research on. So that was the first thing that I did. I could reach out to people and try to get jobs in different places. I could research places that could live so I at least knew this is what I can afford. If I make this much, this is what I could afford if I make this much and then figuring out who I was going to live with. Break it down and figure out what you can do right now.

Speaker 2:7:56Step four, do that. Whatever it is you can do right now, do it. Just start doing things and understand that you're not gonna be able to do it all at once. Again, this was really hard for me to kind of grapple with because I like to do everything at once when I put my mind to something, but you have to stay patient and just do what you can in the moment and continue to set that priority list every week when you finish one thing, move to the next, next step. Once you've done your part, plan out the worst possible outcome and how you're gonna deal with that. Then kind of lightly prepare for it. Even if it's just mentally preparing. For me, this looks like, okay, if I don't end up getting this job I won't be able to afford living out here. What am I going to do?

Speaker 2:8:39My worst possible outcome would be that I moved home for the summer and just delve into everything that I want to do and hopefully I would start generating some income or I'd find a job over the summer so I could move back to California. That was an awful, I was at least mentally prepared for it so that nothing else worked out. I at least had that backup plan that I wasn't completely unhappy with. Next just be patient cause I literally struggled with this so much that I taught myself how to meditate. I had such a hard time being patient and waiting for answers. I think this is really difficult because sometimes we're working so hard and for me I research all these places I could live. I had reached out to people for jobs. Now he's just kind of waiting on everyone else to give me the certain answers that I needed.

Speaker 2:9:25But I couldn't do anything more. But in this is the most important part of accepting your season because I just wanted to keep the momentum going and reach out to people, do more podcasts, episodes, interview people, look for speaking engagements, anything I could do to further my passions. But then I remembered I had to do my research and my paper. So even though there were some things that were up in the air that I couldn't complete and check off my to do list, I had to just be okay being patient and accepting my season. And because we're being patient and our seasons, this is the time that allows us to go have fun and do things that just make us happy and joyful and allow us to enjoy life. Because if you're not happy, there's no way you can truly invest and the other things that you are doing.

Speaker 2:10:10This kind of goes into my last and I think the most important step, setting up your life to accommodate the season that you're in. It's really easy to figure out what you have to do, but it's a lot harder to make the time. And the environment to do so. To prioritize your time. I suggest setting intentions for each day and then setting smaller goals and deadlines. For instance, with my paper, I set out days that I wanted to complete different books by, I said out days that I wanted to have a certain amount of Ted talks or podcasts listen to and now I have deadlines for certain amount of pages that I want to write every week. I told myself that by April I wanted to have a job figured out and know where I was going to be living and with whom and I did. Having deadlines is so important because it holds you accountable.

Speaker 2:11:01It makes you prioritize your time. Now speaking of time and prioritizing your time, I think that a lot of that also comes with setting up your environment to be successful. Now, while I think it's important to have like a clean room or whatever to get your stuff done, that's not necessarily the environment I'm talking about. I'm talking more so about your mental and social environment. Having a good work environment is good in any season, but what's going to change as you move through different seasons is how much time you're allotting to certain things in your environment. Do you need to journal more? Do you need to take a social media break? Do you need to be around friends more? Do you need to be around friends list? You need to be with yourself more. This is also really difficult because it looks so different for every season and it's different for every person.

Speaker 2:11:50Last semester I had to completely dialed back socially because I was working on switching my mindset and my habits, but then this semester I need more social time. I need to be around friends because I'm working hard, but then there's all the stuff that I can't control. Once I'd done everything I could do, I just wanted to be around people and laughing and having fun and honestly having a nice comedic release. But right now my paper's due April 13th and I've literally told some of my friends I can't do anything until that date. My time is solely dedicated to getting that paper done and to really diving into it and cutting back and other areas so that I can have the mental space to process all of my ideas. With that, I've also decided to not be on social media and to not do any podcasts in that time.

Speaker 2:12:38My weekends are going to be dedicated to getting sleep, reading, researching, and just brainstorming the structure of my paper. Set up your environment to be successful. I'm going to run through the tips and tricks one more time because I really want you to learn from my mistakes. Number one, name your season, what's most important to you right now. Number two, set a priority list. Rank your focal points for your season, starting with what's most important. Number three, write down what you can do right now for each of those focal points. Number four, do those things. Set out what you can do this week, next week, the week after, right down when and how you can do those things. Number five, the thing I struggle with, most patients do what you can do and just chill. My mom always tells me, Kaylee, Rome wasn't built in a day, and I go, yes, but mom, I'm the person that would try to build Rome in a day.

Speaker 2:13:38Then we kind of laughed together and she goes, okay, like no, but really have some patients, child numero sis plan your worst case scenario. This sounds super pessimistic, but I think it's so important to at least know what you would do. Worst case scenarios so that you're not worrying. Don't put in the details, don't get into logistics. Don't expect the worst thing to happen, but just kind of know what you would do. Last but not least, and honestly, most important, number seven, set up an environment that's going to breed success. Set smaller goals and deadlines and figure out what kind of environment you need to be successful. Now I'm kind of a visual person, so someone wants explained to this whole phenomena. It's me as having too many tabs open on your computer, so I want you to close your eyes and less you're driving and imagine yourself as a computer.

Speaker 2:14:34You have all these tabs open. You're trying to figure out all of these different things. You're researching, you're checking emails, you're tuning into people, all the stuff, right? We literally have 20 tabs open. Okay. Now I want you to realize how slow would be with 20 tabs open. It's so hard to sift from one thing to the other when you have 10,000 things going on. Well in this case, 20 but it's really difficult to be efficient in any one of those tabs. When you have so many things running, you slowed down. You're not working as well. You're not as efficient, you're not diving in to anything, but if you close out some of those tabs, if you focus on a couple of them and then come back to the others, you're going to be a lot more efficient and successful and you're going to feel better. You're going to have more energy.

Speaker 2:15:25It was such a beautiful analogy. Now you can stop pretending you're a computer. Wow. Welcome to the 21st century. Anyways, I think this is so applicable. Close some of your tabs. Focus in on a couple things that you can do really well this season that are most important to you so that you still have free time to go do other stuff. You still want to be a human being. You know, sometimes, yeah, you're gonna have to lock herself. We for a couple of weeks to finish a paper. Other Times you're gonna want to be around people all everyday of the week. You're gonna have people over for dinner every night and go out on the weekends. Whatever it is, you have to set up yourself for success. Identify your season and figure out what you need to close some of the damn tabs, cause it's not worth trying to do 510 things at once. You're going to be overwhelmed. You're not going to be healthy. You're going to make everyone else happy around you because you're going to be unhappy. It's just not worth it. Close some of your tabs. Please identify your season and make yourself successful within that season. Now maybe that's literally you going through a breakup. Maybe that's you trying to make a certain sports team. Maybe that's you going for a volunteer option and diving into your volunteer work. Maybe that's you trying to find a job. Maybe you're switching schools. Maybe you're really diving into your relationship. I don't know what it is. I don't know what your season is, but you do. You know the things that are important to you right now

Speaker 2:16:57and only you know what is going to help you be most successful. Your friends don't know. Your family doesn't know

Speaker 2:17:07well. They can give you advice. You know what is going to make you most successful. Listen to that. Being patient and accepting my season was super hard, so that's why I'm making this podcast episode. I've kind of finally figured out how to do it for myself and I walked up other people not make the same mistakes. I couldn't give 110% to my friends, to myself, to my podcast, to my blog, to reaching out and trying to find other opportunities. I couldn't do it all. I had to pick and choose. I think we all have to pick and choose if we want to give 110% to what we're doing. Chalene Johnson said the vital difference between dreamers and achievers boils down to some very simple habits. People with clear written out goals who consistently honor their defined priorities tend to get faster results than others and enjoy a greater level of happiness and longterm success in all areas of life.

Speaker 2:18:03Yet most of us have never been formally taught a system of goal setting and mastery. With that, I hope you have some tangible takeaways you can implement into your life and into accepting your season. I also have to accept my season so I don't really know what my next podcast episode's going to be or when my next post is going to be. I'm really diving into my paper and to graduating, figuring out my next steps and I look forward to chatting with you guys. Again. In the meantime, I would love if you could rate and review this podcast below and send me any ideas that you have for future episodes. Thank you so much.

Speaker 3:18:40Okay.

Speaker 2:18:44Thank you so much for tuning into this week's episode of beyond the surface. If this resonated with you, please share it with a friend. Then the number or even to your favorite social media platform and keep in touch. You can head to my website, [inaudible] dot com and hit subscribe so you can be notified at further episodes. Until next time.

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