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Beyond the Surface
How to Network with Paulina Sudhalter
March 11, 2019 Kailee Billerbeck

Paulina Sudhalter went to Chapman University and graduated a year early in May of 2018 with a degree in Strategic and Corporate Communications. She was involved in Alpha Kappa Psi, Gamma Phi Beta, I Am That Girl, was a Chapman Ambassador, studied abroad, had several internships and much more!

Now, Paulina is an advisor for her sorority, volunteers at Big Brothers Big Sisters, and is working a full time job. With all her involvement both on and off campus, Paulina has learned a great deal about how to effectively network and is here to share her tips. You won't want to miss this!

To get connected with Paulina, you reach out to her through:

LinkedIn: Paulina Sudhalter
Instagram: @paulinasud

In the episode, Paulina discusses:

Big Brothers Big Sisters
Almost 30 Podcast

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1:0:14Casey miller bag. I'm a senior in college published authors, self improvements, lager, black though, and lover of long random walk absolutely anywhere and everywhere. I hope you to dive into your life last year. Mind welcome to episode 13 how to now

Speaker 2:0:43work with Paulina said Halter. This week I really wanted to delve into networking. We live in a society where there's so many tools at our fingertips to help us network with people who are doing what we want to do. So as young adults, it's important to know how to put yourself out there and talk to people in an authentic manner that's true to who you are. This week, our guest is going to give you all kinds of tips and tricks on how to network and how to truly show up when you're meeting with different people that you may not know, where you're having to build off similarities you may have only seen from social media. I promise you, walk away from this interview with lots of good takeaways. Paulina said, halter is one of the most kind genuine people I know and I'm so excited to welcome her on the podcast. [inaudible].

Speaker 2:1:30Please go ahead and introduce yourself to listeners. Hi everyone. My name is Paulina, said Halter. And as Kelly said, I went to Chapman with her. I graduated in May of 2018 so I'm now doing marketing coordination at a home building company. Um, but I'm just here to kind of talk about networking and how to really reach out to people and make those connections. So what do you think is the most important piece of networking that you've learned through college? I would say really just being open to new relationships and really thinking about each person that you come in contact with and you never really know whether they're going to be someone who's going to be influential leader in your life. So just always having a positive attitude. I know that something we both share is just kind of exuding that positivity to others and I'm just really trying to network with them and pick their brains, see what they're about, and see if you can find a connection point.

Speaker 2:2:29Totally. Do you think that not something that always kind of came naturally to you or that you've had to learn over time? Yeah. Interesting question. Um, I would actually say that a lot of it has to do with me growing up and my parents just being very, um, influential of the type of person that they wanted me to be calm. They put me in plays from a very young age, so that way I'd be okay doing presentations and standing up in front of people. Um, so I think that really influenced me to able to get on stage, whether it's in real life or in a business meeting or whatever it is, and just play the part and get to know people and really find out how to make those connections. Yeah, totally. So what, what kind of advice would you give to somebody that I remember I used to be terrified of presentations.

Speaker 2:3:16Like there was one time that I got up to get one and I literally couldn't get the words out of my mouth. I was so terrified. So what kind of advice would you give to somebody who maybe isn't as good at networking or putting themselves out there and like being brave to just go for it? Definitely. So, um, with anything I would say, uh, preparation is where luck, sorry, luck is where preparation meets opportunity. So anytime that you really prepare and take the time to really study your notes or go over it present in front of a friend, you're going to be that much more prepared to stand up and have the confidence to do really well. Um, when it comes to networking, I would say being brave is just something that you kind of have to hold your breath and say, okay, like these next 20 seconds, they may be scary, but it may lead to something really great in the end.

Speaker 2:4:03So I'm having those 20 seconds of courage to just reach out to someone, whether it's on Linkedin or I'm at an actual meeting. I think that will really help to improve those connections that you're trying to make. Totally. So do you think that knowing yourself is an important key in being able to reach out to the right people and doing it and an authentic manner? Kind of. Definitely. Definitely. As I was kind of telling you earlier, um, I reached out to someone on Linkedin and the reason I reached out to her was I was looking for a job after graduation, um, was looking at something at the American Heart Association and was like, okay, do I have any connections to this at all? And I saw that there was someone who went to Chapman. So right away obviously there's a school connection, looked at her profile and realized we had a lot of other things in common.

Speaker 2:4:49And um, from there I just typed out a professional email. I think that's really important to kind of knowing how to frame the email, tell them a little bit about yourself, market yourself and um, a very authentic way, but that's also professional and um, just asked to go get coffee. And most of the time people are very receptive to that and want to help you and um, maybe you can even help them in return leader. Yeah, absolutely. Where do you think that line kind of comes between like your authentic self and you're all like your professional business self? Like, how do you kind of differentiate the two and blend them? Yeah. So this is something that, especially with graduation I've been trying to work on and I'm really make sure that in interviews I'm being authentic, but also at the same time being professional because I myself am very outgoing.

Speaker 2:5:37I'm very happy, bubbly person. And so to be all serious, to be all serious, like in all interviews isn't necessarily the most authentic me. So I kinda walk in and I read the interviewers right away. So I try and see by their body language and um, kind of the first questions that they asked me, whether they're going to crack a smile and, um, that kind of leads me to know which direction I can take the interview myself. Um, but I like to just smile, be myself, and answer with the most true answer that's relevant for me. So, yeah. Do you think that getting to know yourself in that regard has come easier since graduating? Do you think it was harder while you were in school? Yes. So, um, I think getting to know yourself, especially in your teens and early twenties is just a journey. Um, it's changing all the time.

Speaker 2:6:30Every day you're always learning more about yourself and what you want. Um, I listened to another podcast, almost 30 podcasts and not really teaches me. It's so good. You'll love it. I'll have to listen to it. Yeah. Um, that teaches me a lot about like myself and things that I didn't even know that I was interested in or want to try. Um, it's all about like spirituality and, um, women empowerment, women in business, like all of these great things. And so I think kind of just taking little pieces from each, um, aspect of my life, whether it's a podcast or my parents or a friend who works at a great company, um, that all influences me to be who I am. Did I answer the question? No, absolutely. Yeah, totally. Do think that if there's ever people that you wouldn't maybe network with or like how do you kind of split up people that maybe wouldn't be people that you would want to exit, exert that energy with?

Speaker 2:7:25Yeah. Um, that's tough because I think you never know who is going to come back around. You never know who's going to be your next boss. Um, and so you want to, it's tricky. You want to be careful with that. But I think again, just going back to positivity and exuding positivity and kindness on others. Um, and yeah, just, just seeing how that relationship will flow and if you need to distance herself, that person's being negative or toxic, then there's no need for you to continue on that relationship. Um, I do think that's important to set boundaries, but I'm always keeping in mind that you might not want to burn the bridge. You might just want to keep it out of distance. Absolutely. How do you set those boundaries? Like in no, kind of like a professional sense, like, and like in a personal sense too, so that you can be working to kind of network and be doing what you need to be doing in fostering your passion.

Speaker 2:8:19And definitely, um, I'd say it's really important to set personal boundaries, so kind of have your own sort of mentality of what works for you. So something I do as if I'm feeling really negative energy, I'll go to the bathroom and wash my hands. Um, and just having the water kind of flow through my hands and off. I can just imagine the negativity going down the drain and that really works for me. So I'm kind of knowing if something's bothering you and kind of putting up a shield of armor, imagining that on you and saying, you know what, these are just words and yes they're hurtful, but I need to just put on my shoulder armor within the workplace. I'm going to do what's necessary to get the job done. And even though maybe my managers a little upset today or has her own person, no issues going on that shouldn't affect my work style and how I continue to do the the job.

Speaker 2:9:11Yeah. That's interesting. I would have never even thought about going to wash my hands to kind of just get into the right mental state. Do you have any other little tips and tricks that you can also like lean against a wall? That one's a really good one. Lean against the wall and just imagine the energy flowing through you. I'm really big into like energy and I'm vibing off of other people. And so if there's other people in the room who are really negative, sometimes I pick up that energy. Um, so I have to really, like you said, set those boundaries and think about like, okay, what's best for me today? What can I surround myself with? Whether it's putting in my earphones and listening to music or going on a walk in nature really like that. Um, so just finding something that works for you and really, um, taking hold of that and taking the time to give yourself that self care that you need to be able to be successful.

Speaker 2:9:58Yeah. It's interesting you say that because I feel like that's been one thing I've always told my mom. I feel like I walk into rooms sometimes and I can just feel energy so strong that sometimes it almost makes me quiet because it's overwhelming and you can tell, okay, if there's like a weird dynamic going on, I can kind of sense it, you know? So how, and like when you're networking and stuff, how do you manage that when you walk into a room? Definitely. So when networking or when meeting someone new, um, I think it's a definitely a little scary because you're not sure who you're about to meet even if you've looked at their profile. Um, but I think something that's helped me again is preparation. Really looking at their profile and coming up with questions in my mind of, okay, like what's the best way that I can go about this meeting and what are some questions that I could ask them?

Speaker 2:10:41Because honestly, people like to talk about themselves. So you want to ask questions that they're going to be able to answer no problem because it's all about them. Um, so you make it more about them than about you. And really just, um, see how it goes from there. After the first five minutes, you can normally tell whether there's a connection or not. And if not, then you had a great coffee date and you got to meet them and I'm now at least they know your name, but then you can move on and try different networking connection. So, um, I think really just taking the time to prepare questions and I'm always doing a couple like deep breaths before helps me. I know that helps some people are counting or whatever is good for you. Um, to just kind of like get in the mindset of, you know what, I'm, I'm just meeting someone.

Speaker 2:11:28It's just coffee. It's not like an actual interview. It's an informational session where I'm going to learn about this person, what they do and they're going to learn about me and hopefully it'll lead to something great in the end. But if not, at least we have this connection. Yeah. So do you are, as a lot of your networking done on, you'll like find them on social media and then reach out to them to get coffee? So I would say a lot is done through linkedin. I really linkedin and especially since you can see if they've been at your university or if they've been at a corporation that you've worked off before, then you can kind of compare that and see. Um, but networking within college, I think, I know you have a lot of listeners that are still in school. Um, I think just getting involved is really important and I'm seeing where you can best make an impact within your community is huge for me.

Speaker 2:12:19I was involved in quite a few organizations on campus, one of them being Alpha Kappa Psi, which is a business fraternity. And I joined that like pretty specifically to make connections with other students who I knew had the same type of goals and drive in mind. Um, and I think that really pushed me to know how to write those professional emails and get in contact with people and um, go into an interview where, you know, they're going to be tough, but you have to still maintain your professionalism but also your authentic side. Um, and just get through it. And so whether you're still in school or out in the real world looking for a job, I think networking is really up to you how you handle actually approaching the situation. But again, I just go back to preparation. Yeah, it's interesting. So you talked about how you kind of saw these people in AK Psi that you were like, okay, I kind of like I, they're, they have qualities that I want to work on with myself, so I want to join this organization.

Speaker 2:13:22Do you think it's important to be a part of things that kind of, that suit you, who you are now, but then also to be in those places, it's stretch you and grow you as a person in like a new, in the way that you're wanting to grow? Definitely. Definitely. Um, I think one of my goals this year is to join a board if that's possible. Um, just so that way I can, you know, be better and strive for more. I've always, uh, want to have continuous learning and growth. I really value that. And so joining organizations that are going to push you and make you better I think is always a great thing. Where do you find those organizations? Both on campus and then off campus too? Yeah. So on campus I would say AK PSI gamify. Um, what else was I involved in? Quite a few things.

Speaker 2:14:10I just think I was a row GAM. That was an incredible experience where I was able to just mentor these girls and see just the empowerment and everything that goes through that. And so whatever you decide is best for you, um, definitely just choose something that, where you think that you will be able to grow and in each experience you'll learn something and be able to take that with you on, into your life. Um, and have memories that will last for a long time. Graduating, I knew I wanted to be involved in the community in orange and um, just the greater orange county. And so I actually joined an organization called brothers big sisters of our other strategies that I've heard of it. Yeah. So they have mentors for underprivileged kids. So I have an eight year old girl who I mentor and I hang out with her twice a month.

Speaker 2:15:05And so far it's been really great to just see her, you know, growth. Even just within the like four times that I've seen her, she's more expressive, she wants to talk more. We're reading books and talking about confidence and young girls and she's being responsive about that. And so it's really eyeopening to kind of see someone who is younger and their views on the world and how we can make an impact on them. So I've really enjoyed doing that outside of school, and I'm sure no matter where your listeners are across the country, there's all sorts of organizations where you can get involved and really make an impact on others and through that, not yet, but I'm hoping I'll also be able to network with some of the other bigs. I know they have a couple events a year where you can go and meet the other bigs.

Speaker 2:15:53Talk about kind of your goals or challenges you might be having with your littles and just get to know them, get to meet these other people who again have similar values. They're trying to instill, um, happiness and love within these kids. And so why wouldn't you want to meet them? So I'm excited about that opportunity as well. Well, I feel like it's, it's really cool when you start reaching out. The more you get to know about yourself, you reach out to these organizations and join them and then you're finding people who are also likeminded and, and, and you're running into people that like, like you said, they're doing these really cool things because they have the same morals and values that you have. So definitely there are good people for you to kind of get to know. Yes. That's so much fun. What's like the biggest challenge you would say that you've run into with networking that you've learned how to combat?

Speaker 2:16:40Ooh, that's a good one. Um, I would say the biggest challenge, at least in the beginning, um, was probably that fear of reaching out and what are they gonna think? And is that weird? And you know, I'm just some random girl from Chapman, why would they want to help me? I feel badly reaching out and asking them for help. And I think a lot of people struggle with that because you're thinking, well, what am I giving them in return? And honestly, a lot of people aren't looking for anything in return. They are more than happy to help because most people have been there too. They've been in your same situation, whether it's looking for a job or just looking for a mentor, whatever it is, um, they can understand and relate. And so just again, being brave and sending the message are going up to the person, introducing yourself, having a firm handshake and just saying, you know, I want to network with you.

Speaker 2:17:36I want to create a connection and let's go get coffee. When are, when are you available? I think being persistent is also another tip that I would say, um, you know if you meet them at a Chapman gathering event or some event at your school, I would say you definitely should send a followup email saying it was so great to meet you today and I would really love to continue the conversation. Let's get coffee, here are some available dates for me, what works for you. And then really just getting that conversation started. Absolutely. That's really cool. I what do you think, cause I know when you're reaching out to somebody, you wanting it to keep it authentic. Do you think it's important that you do have some things in comments that you can kind of go off of those things and get to know them a little bit better and have a little bit more real conversations with them?

Speaker 2:18:26Definitely, yeah. I think it's a lot easier to build a bridge when you have something in common then to just kind of message some random person on linkedin. However, if you do see a job opportunity that you want and you see someone you don't have anything in common, but maybe they have a position that you would like to have in the future, well there is your starting point right there. You have a position that I'd like to have eventually at some point I'd love to talk to you more about it. So, um, even if it's not an obvious connection or point, you can always find something to build off of and create that conversation. Yeah, totally. Do you think that, I know they're like, persistence is such a huge thing, but I think some people get afraid of like, um, I'm annoying them, you know?

Speaker 2:19:10So how do you overcome that and what do you think is too persistent almost? Yeah, so I would say the rule of three is really good. So the first one would be your first message or your first conversation. And then after that, sending a followup after you need the first time. And then whether you get their phone number is still just have their email. Um, if they don't respond after follow up, I would send us second followup saying, hi, I'm just falling up again on that email that I sent about our meeting on February 24, just like being, you know, again, your authentic self. If you feel like two was enough and they're still not responding, then that's good for you. If you want to send one more message even after the third one, then go for it. Just as long as you're being your authentic self and um, presenting herself with poise and professionalism at the same time.

Speaker 2:20:02That's awesome. So how do you walk into these first meetings and make sure that you do have that enthusiastic attitude? Like is there like a certain self care regiments you have or certain like techniques you have to get yourself mentally prepped for it? Yeah, so exercise is really important for me. Um, I like to do spin hot yoga, go for a walk, whatever it is. I just kind of need to get that, um, motion out and the endorphins running so that way I can present my best self to whoever I'm meeting. And, um, really just have a clear head. I think it really allows me to clear my head even if it's just dancing for five minutes in my room. I think that works. You know, whatever works for you. What do you do Kaylee to like kind set that tone in your head and get your mind cleared before like you go meet someone or go on an interview?

Speaker 2:20:54I think a lot of times I exercise is super important and also making sure that I eat right and that the morning, like I have a smoothie that I make every single morning so I make sure I have that. And then if I, like on Friday I went in for an important interview and on my way there I called my mom first and then I listened to some calm music and then I turned on rap and I'm like that just like gets me ready to go get out of the car feeling like on top of the world and I can conquer it. Yeah. That's kind of like, I don't know, I feel like rap is really the key, you know? Yeah. Little steps to like pump you up. Oh for sure. Getting that power playlist before you go in somewhere. And I think also the power stance really helps.

Speaker 2:21:33So that super woman or superman stance or your hands or on your hips and I literally do that outside of my car sometimes like love. I saw a Ted talk about that actually works. If you just stand there and you're just like look up what their hands on your hips. There's been so many studies showing showing that it actually makes a difference. And for me it has, it just gives me that extra confidence that I need to go in and really kill something. So that's awesome. Do you think it was harder for you to do? Like did you still do these regiments like while you were in college was a harder for you? So I think, okay, one thing I know from college that a lot of people thought I was crazy for was every finals, you know, everyone goes in wearing their sweat pants and they're big t shirts and I always went looking nice.

Speaker 2:22:21Like, I had to have my nails done and I wasn't wearing a blazer, but I'd wear like jeans and a nice top and my hair was always like either done or in a pony tail, nicely slicked back. So that way I could fully focus on the test and know that I felt good about myself and could feel good about the knowledge that I had learned in the class and then execute it on the test. So, um, I don't know if that's everyone. Maybe some people are more comfortable just doing it in their sweat pants, but for me it was like very reassuring to know that if I felt good then I probably perform better as well. Yeah, that totally makes sense. Yeah. Do you, do you still like even like going, exercising, going on walks and stuff like that? Did you still do all of that while you were in college?

Speaker 2:23:02Yeah, it was actually a lot easier in college. Post Grad is a lot more difficult to find time for that self care, um, just because you're working from eight 30 to five 30 or six depending on what you're doing. Um, but so you have to wake up earlier, which then means you're losing sleep. And so it's a fine balance of what can I give up? What do I have to sacrifice? But also what do I need to do to allow myself to be the most successful and happy. Um, so that's been really interesting coming out of college just because in college you only have a certain amount of classes a day and so you could kind of work in your schedule when you want to work out, when you can eat your healthy snack and when you leave that, you know, let more flexible environment, you really have to plan out those things and make sure that if you're someone who likes to exercise and eat healthy, that you have that all ready to go before the beginning of the week.

Speaker 2:24:01So do you find that planning is really important for you? Are you like, do you have like a, a calendar that you've planned everything out on us? So it's kind of funny because in college I definitely had a daily planner and would write all my assignments in there and all my different meetings cause I hadn't, you know, Gamma Phi, Alpha Kappa Psi and all of the fraternities and sororities. Um, and just anything I was involved in. But coming out of college, um, I actually don't use my daily planner. I just use like a big calendar in my room and just write like kind of the most important things on there on my list. Um, whether it's, you know, working my other job that I have or babysitting, um, are going to Delta Queen on Thursday. That's like on my list because I made sure to block my calendar off for that cause you never know, like something else might come up.

Speaker 2:24:51And so when you're in this Postgrad you have to actually like plan from seven to nine. I'm doing this, which is crazy because in college it was more, I don't know, I felt more flexible even though everything was detailed out in my planner. So. No, that totally makes sense. Do you ever, did you ever find that you are overwhelmed with commitments and where you kind of had to weed certain things out and if so, how did you do that? Yeah, so I think it's funny, this is something I always talk to with my Chatman friends about is there's just something about Chapman where everyone has to be involved all the time. And if you think you're involved, look at the person next to you. They're probably more involved. So, um, I definitely sacrificed sleep a lot. Um, I sacrifice time with friends, but then again, I didn't because I was in the commitments doing these things with my friends.

Speaker 2:25:44So it's kind of a double edged sword with that. Um, and I don't know, like looking back, it's kind of crazy how I managed everything and got to everything on my list every day and never really like missing an assignment. Um, but I think it was, again, just from like planning and having that planner. And also, I think another thing that's key is having a really good support system. So making sure that you have people who lift you up and inspire you every day. That's something that's helped me throughout college. And then also now how do you spot those people out? Like how do you know when they're like, okay, yes, this is a good person I need to keep. Yeah, I think that kind of happens over time. Um, I don't think you always know right away, but after building the relationship and really I think it comes back to having those more meaningful conversations, you realize that it's not all just surface level and that you can really talk to this person about things that are going on in your life that are personal and maybe a little bit deeper for you.

Speaker 2:26:51Um, and those are kind of the people who I go to most often are the people who I know will listen and give me really good advice. Um, and that they also know that I can do the same for them. Cause I think friendship is a really a two way street and it's important to, um, give and get a little, kind of, have that back and forth. Symbiotic. Symbiotic relationship. Absolutely. Has it been hard for you to like, have you kind of had to like pick a couple of friends like you rely on and then like, cause I know you have so many commitments, like how do you manage that plus a social life and like all your friends? Yeah, so it's crazy because I try to stay in touch with as many friends as I can. Luckily I'm still in the area and a lot of my friends are still in school so I'm texting helps.

Speaker 2:27:40The environment of technology has been awesome in our day and age. We're able to just send a quick text and be able to make a plan. Um, I think the hardest thing is I'll make plans with someone and then you know, they'll cancel and then we'll try again and then all cancel. And so it's kind of holding each party accountable of like, okay, this is what you were meaning. Like neither of us can cancel. We need to hang out. I'm trying to hang out with my freshman year roommate and we just have not been on the same wavelength. And so kind of just managing that and continuing to each text, each other back and forth of like, all right, when are we going to hang out? Because I want to make it a priority to see her since she made such an impact before. And, um, I love to just keep that connection.

Speaker 2:28:26I don't want to let that, um, bridge burned down. I want to keep it nice and alive and flourishing. And so if that even makes sense or a French, but, um, I think it's important to cultivate those relationships and when you have them even just sending quick texts of like, Hey, I miss you. Hey, I'm thinking of you. Hey, we should hang out student. Not sure when I'm really busy, but like, love you. Um, I think that really does make an impact because they know at least you're trying. Yeah. It's interesting. I was listening to a podcast and they, one thing that she said was, whenever you think of somebody, make sure that you stop, sit down and you send that text or you send a message because it means something that, that just even that came to your head. So totally getting that relationship alive by really making sure if they pop in your head, send them a message.

Speaker 2:29:12Definitely, definitely. I think it's really important. And this weekend I was actually in Arizona, um, and one of my good friends is done with school and I know she's back there and I knew even though I was there for a heavy event, um, that I needed to see her even if it was just for an hour because I wouldn't just go there and not see my friends. So, um, made an effort to text her and say, Hey, I'm here. I'm, you know, I'm with my family and this time, but I would love to get brunch with you on Saturday. And so we made that effort and she's like, Oh, I wish I could spend more time with you. I wish we could hang out more. But just the fact that we were able to even connect and make that time, um, I know meant a lot to her and it meant a lot to me as well.

Speaker 2:29:59Yeah, absolutely. So kind of going back to networking and stuff, what do you do if you ever have a situation you walk away from that did not go how I wanted it to, like have you ever had that happen and how do you kind of mentally combat that? Definitely. Um, so with networking I would say this probably happens a lot within college in even meeting just like bigs and littles within sororities. So I know a lot of people go through the process of trying to figure out who they want to have as their mentor and who they want to have is their mentee. And it's this whole big process and you're like, do I connect with this person? Do I not? And sometimes you go out and you're like, you know what, I just think we're not on the same wavelength. Or, um, you know, it just, you have to kind of go into it with an open mind and then see what comes out of it.

Speaker 2:30:51And sometimes it's not always, you don't need to be best friends with them. You don't need to be best friends with everyone. But, um, there's always an opportunity to make that connection. And there's some girls who I met during that process who I was like, okay, this is like, I love them, they're great, but like I already have someone in mind who I want to be my mentor and my big and that person for me. But I'm still great friends with some of those other girls and turned into friendships that I didn't even imagine when I was going through that process. So kind of just being open minded and knowing that, um, you never know where these different relationships can go and it's just a matter of like timing to see how it'll, how it will all pan out. Yeah, absolutely. And I look at you as just being someone who's always like, you're always on, you're always energetic and happy and just like smiling.

Speaker 2:31:42How do you maintain that good attitude? It's like even sometimes like I'll have these where I'm like, I'm just tired. Like I just need to turn off and then that could be perceived wrong because I'm just like inside my own head, like needing to like recharge. How do you show up wherever you are? Because every time I see you, you like you've showed up. Oh, thank you. Um, it's really funny you say that. Um, because in growing up, um, I'm raised Jewish and so I was part of this community service called Hineni and it means I'm here, like I'm here to show up. And so I dunno, it just kind of always resonated with me that, um, I need to be present and that's even something I'm still working on today is to be fully present in the moment and not thinking about what's next or what's in the future or you know, what happened yesterday, but to actually be concentrating on what's happening right now because that's what's most important and it will actually further you and your goals and what you want to do in the longterm if you're just giving that person your full attention and really showing that you can listen and um, have again that connection with them.

Speaker 2:32:51So I really try, try again. I tried to be present and to be there, have that happy attitude, but I'm human just like everyone else and have my days where, you know, something's just not right. I'm not feeling good or, um, some things off like you said. And so I think, um, if you have to put on a mask, then maybe taking some time for yourself in the morning or you know, removing yourself from whatever situation is causing you that angst and giving yourself time to breathe, to calm down, whether you have time to do a face mask or listen to music or again, wash your hands. Um, any of those things might help you to kind of just, okay, this is bothering me right now. Let me take a breath and go back out and present myself the way I know I need to for this situation.

Speaker 2:33:42Yeah. So you think a long time it was a really important part of being able to kind of reenergize and show up. Yeah, I think it depends on the person. I think some people get more energized by being around a lot of people. Other people need that time to just recharge and be alone. Um, so I think really just again, knowing yourself and listening to what your body needs and what your body craves and if your body's craving some chocolate, like go home girl, you know? So absolutely. I think knowing that those different cues that your body is giving you in your mind and your spirit, all of that mind, body, spirit, really paying attention to that and um, giving yourself what you need to so you can present your best self on a daily basis. So what are some tips that you would give to stay present?

Speaker 2:34:29Like how do you stay present? Yeah, so I'm working on it. I'm like I said, um, I would say meditation is huge. Um, it's not always easy. Sometimes meditation you're trying to do it and you are thoughts are just going a hundred directions. However, I do hear a lot of people are saying, oh, I need to just turn my thoughts off. And I don't necessarily think that's the right mindset within meditation. I think you should think of it as like clouds floating by. I know a lot of people give that metaphor or conveyor belt and you acknowledge the thought, you see that it's there and then you let it float away. Um, and then you just kind of try to go back to your breath and breathing in and out. And I tried to make my breasts out like ocean waves because ocean waves are calming to me.

Speaker 2:35:19So, um, I do that. And then, um, I closed my eyes and sometimes I can like see some colors, which is great. It's just so relaxing and um, I think it allows me to kind of go through the rest of my week or my day with good intentions. Um, that's another thing, setting really good intentions. One of my friends is incredible at this. She will say like, this is what I'm doing, this is what I need to do. I need to figure this out. And literally within an hour, like whatever, she set that intention of like, this is what I need to do right now. It's done. And I'm like, how do you do that? Like, I need to be better about that. Like really setting my intention of this is what I want and this is what I'm going to focus on and make, make happen. Because I think the power of intention and thoughts and words and really like believing in it is so powerful.

Speaker 2:36:16So what's like an example of an intention that you might set for your day? Yeah, so, um, I always in the beginning of my meditations I ask what do I need to know today? And I kind of just wait to see what thoughts come into my mind. Um, sometimes it's just like be gentle. Um, so I'm really hard on myself and so sometimes I just need to be gentle or be kind, be kind to others, um, or thoughtful, be thoughtful. And this goes back to sending a nice text or, um, baking someone cookies, like the smallest of things can make a difference in someone else's life. And um, it can really also bring happiness to you. So I doesn't mean rejection. She literally brought me to essential oils and there's like cute little goody bag thing when she came in to do the interview for the podcast.

Speaker 2:37:04Like, you're the most thoughtful person. Thank you. Well, it's true. It doesn't really help brighten people's days and like that's like such an unnecessary thing and like the best way, you know, like you totally went out of your way. And I know that I'm writing in my day, you know? Yeah. But like I think it's good too because then I just was letting, trying to let you know, like I'm so thankful for even asking me to be on the podcast and then it shows you that like you're actually making an impact on me by having me on your podcast. And so it's a whole like great relationship that just allows both parties to feel something. And so that's what I think is really important about building strong relationships is really allowing both parties to kind of, um, get something out of it. Totally. That's my, one of my mom's or my mom had one of her friends and she would always talk about the power of a compliment and how important it is that even if you just see somebody walking by that looks good.

Speaker 2:38:00Like why keep that thought to yourself? Like let them know, you know, hey, I like your shoes, you know, whatever it is. And sometimes people turn around, they're like, oh my gosh, thank you. You know, cause it's just like something so random, right. They like, you didn't, I mean I'd have to give them that compliment. You don't know that we're only thing to them. It means the world. Totally. And I think that's something I'm working on too, because I always think about like, Ooh, that girl looks so cute today. Or Oh wow. I really like, you know how she made that comment in that meeting? That was a really intelligent comment. And I just think it, well, why don't I tell them? Because if someone told me that I would feel so great and so happy that I by me saying that that had an impact on them.

Speaker 2:38:41And so, um, acknowledging those other people in your life who are making these great little moments happen, I think is really cool. Yeah. And I mean, who knows that that girl could have been somebody who didn't think she was very intelligent and you saying, hey, that comment was super intelligent. That can completely changed even because the way that you can have perceives herself, like help turn that around for her. Totally. I love that. So how has networking impacted you in your life? Because I know you talked about this person that you messaged on linkedin. Tell us a little more about that. Yeah, so, um, I messaged someone named Le Dan Davia and she was Chapman Grad, um, and also a part of American heart association. And then we just had a couple other things that I was like, wow, this girl is so similar to me. We both graduated in three years and you know, she was on the entrepreneurship team.

Speaker 2:39:31I was an entrepreneur, partnership minor. And so I was like, I'm just going to reach out. So I reached, I reached out. Is that right? Yeah, the correct time. I reached out and just said like, I'd love to meet you for coffee and get to know you. I have some questions. Um, she met me and it was such a great meaning within the first five minutes. I could tell I loved her. We connected so well. Um, she answered all my questions with just such like enthusiasm and I don't know, we just like, we instantly connected. And so after that she sent me a text and she was like, I did not expect the coffee date to go that well. I, she's like, I literally just thought I was like going to meet you and then that was going to be it. And she's like, but I want to talk more, like, will you meet me tomorrow at wholefoods?

Speaker 2:40:24That that's, so I literally just met her the next day. Like we plan to just keep meeting and talking and turns out she has her own startup, it's called Bia and it's a platform for people to job search. But it, she has a new algorithm that helps kind of eliminate all of the black hole that is, you know, start wire and indeed and all of those job sites where you go on and there's just so many listings and you can't figure out what's good for you. And so it's like her, yeah, it's overwhelming. And so she has this new algorithm and um, she really has a goal to make job searching, not biased anymore. Cause right now it's like, oh, she's a girl. Okay. And even if people say like, no, that's not true. Well it kind of is like we know there's a gender bias and then also race and all these other things.

Speaker 2:41:14So she's trying to kind of help minimize that. Um, which is a really cool idea and goal. So it's similar to linkedin but a little bit different. So we just got to talking and she's one of the first people who really believed in me more than myself. Um, and just told me that she sees such potential in me and that I have such leadership abilities. I'm like, what? This girl does not even know me. Um, but through that she's, you know, been able, we've been able to work together and um, there might even be like a potential opportunity for us to work together. And so I'm really excited about that and just having her as a mentor, even to someone that I can go to and talk to about May. My ideas of being, you know, an operations or I'm doing something where, you know, I can really be at the top of a company is really, really nice.

Speaker 2:42:07I wouldn't never expected the relationship to go the way it's going. But, um, me just kind of taking that initiative and reaching out has really shown to be something that was a positive experience. Amazing. And you would have, I mean, who would have thought, you know, and you just literally did that message through Linkedin. So who would have thought? Just some random girl who graduated from Chapman like three years ago and you know, she's done all of these incredible things and her main focus after we talked was what can I do to help you? That's amazing. I feel people would want to help people. Kids all want to help. And I think kids are h we are always perceived as, oh, you're the millennials, you don't want to work. You want this, this and this. And it's like, no, that's not always true. And I think millennials almost, it's a self fulfilling, fulfilling prophecy.

Speaker 2:42:57They take some of that on and they're like, well, I don't want to ask for help because then I'm going to be seen as, you know, a millennial. But I think that they need to kind of shove away that fear and go ask for help because you never know what you can get back in return and then maybe one day you can help them. And so again, back to the relationship and just building it to be really strong and I'm having that connection that could last you for a very long time. Yeah, absolutely. So what do you say in these messages when you reached out to people? Yeah, I think it's always just very professional. Um, but also authentic. So I just say, hi, my name is Paulina. I graduated from Chapman, this was my major, you know, kind of just like giving them a little bit of background.

Speaker 2:43:42Um, and then saying, I saw that you were and what, whatever you're saying needs to connect to you. So I saw you were an entrepreneurship minor. I was too, something like that. Um, just to kind of get that connection. And then they're interested in youtube because you have a point of common interest and then saying, I'd really like to talk to you more about, and then whether you're looking for a job or you just want to have them as a mentor or whatever it is. I want to talk to you more about possibly being my mentor about this position that you have at this company. You can frame it however you'd like and just really being confident with that and then saying, um, you know, uh, you can reach out to me at this phone number or this email. I would love to hear back from you soon if they don't respond the first time.

Speaker 2:44:26I would say send a followup email and say, just checking in. Wanted to see if you got my previous, I wanted to talk to you in regards to, and Ray, you mentioned the thing that you wanted to speak with them about and then say again, here's some times that I'm available to speak with you, and then write that out for them so then they can choose what works and you can hopefully connect to the second time. That's so cool. And it's nice to have those like tangible takeaways and like, okay, now people kind of know this is how we can structure. Definitely email. And then what do you, what are like three tangible takeaways that you have? Just networking in general to leave listeners with and just with personal relationships and with professional relationships? I've got large, definitely. So I think as Caitlin and I kind of talked about this entire time, the number one thing is to be authentic.

Speaker 2:45:13Be Yourself. I'm just have that smile on and really present yourself in the way that you would to anyone. Um, whether it's personal or professional. So that way you're really actually building a relationship from a place of truth. And the second exam or the second tip I would give everyone would be, um, to construct your email or your linkedin message. Um, kind of using the guideline that I did, I described or go online and kind of research what other people are doing and then pull from that. So that way you're secure in what you're sending and you know that it's a professional, but also, um, engaging email. And then third, um, I would say for networking, just be brave. Go Up to people. What's the worst that can happen? Absolutely. Well, it's clearly worked for you. That's amazing that you have that woman that you've built this connection with and that's awesome that you can just reach out to people.

Speaker 2:46:13I love that and thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with listeners. It was such a fun time having you on here. Yeah, thank you so much Kelly. Of course, Paulina, truly one of the most kind genuine people and the energy that you could hear on the podcast is the energy she has when you meet her in person and if you know who you can absolutely attest to this. If you want to connect with her and hear more tips and tricks about networking and how it's helped her and how she wants to help you figure out how to network in a way that benefits you, please reach out to her. You can find Pauline on or find her on linkedin and I'll have links to all of her social media accounts in the show notes. So definitely make sure you find her. She really has so much to say that we couldn't fit into this one interview, so please make sure you reach out to her. I hope you got some great tips and takeaways and I look forward to seeing you all next week.

Speaker 3:47:14Thank you so much for tuning into this week's episode of the on the surface. If this resonated with you, please share it with a friend, family member, or even to your favorite social media platform and keep in touch. You can head to my website, [inaudible] dot com and hit subscribe so you can be notified at further episodes. Until next time.

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