Straight Gay Reviews
Welcome to SGR - Straight Gay Reviews! Yes, I'm Gay, hence the name. I'm Rumeal; it's like Ru Paul & a Meal you'd eat! Feel free to share this with anyone; SGR started as a movie review channel, which I did with a friend. However, it has morphed into something I love doing: learning from others and networking. There are many different segments; I hope you have time to listen to them when you can, and they provide value in your world. Oh, if you want the visuals check us out on YouTube.
Straight Gay Reviews
Relationship Realism: Pasta Ponderings, Self-Dating Delights, and Generational Gab with a Pinch of Platonic Playfulness
What do pasta and personal growth have in common? Discover the humorous and insightful world of "freezing" relationships to focus on self-dating and personal joy. Join us as we share our personal stories, exploring how finding happiness within on our own terms can lead to more fulfilling connections. We tackle the age-old question of who picks up the tab on a date, diving into lively discussions on expectations in outings versus dating, and celebrating the unique bond of platonic friendships that thrive without the weight of romantic pressures.
Generational shifts in communication and relationship dynamics take center stage as we highlight the digital prowess of Gen Z and Gen Alpha in advocacy and communication. Reflecting on our own experiences, we compare dating preferences, from the charm of traditional partners to the vibrancy of modern-minded individuals. Through anecdotes and reflections, we underscore the importance of self-worth and communication, not just in romantic relationships but also in shaping familial dynamics and personal growth. Tune in for a rich tapestry of insights and laughter that bridges generational divides and inspires listeners to embrace their own unique journeys.
Hey, welcome to Relationship Realism. It's your boy, sgr.
Speaker 2:Hi everybody, it's Mani.
Speaker 1:Hey Mani, so you know we always start the episodes off now with the Relationship Realism, the Rasta Pasta update. Is it cooking? How's your Rasta Pasta doing? Because I think last time you know we what did we say? What'd you say?
Speaker 2:I kind of put them all in the freezer.
Speaker 1:What did we say? What did you say? I kind of put them all in the freezer.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, okay and so, so that everybody knows at home freezer until further notice.
Speaker 1:They ain't in the trash which you can defrost, I mean think about it Like you can literally defrost things that are in the freezer. So if you want to take out the meat, defrost, you can take out the meat and defrost.
Speaker 2:But right now, but for now they're frozen. It wasn't to say that they weren't any good or they didn't have any potential, you know. They're just frozen, spending a little more time just dating myself, having a lot of fun and just exploring and making new friends outside of just thinking about a relationship, shout out to you.
Speaker 1:Um, you know, y'all already know my situation dry than it's a head does. It ain't got nobody in my life for real, for real. Um, so a good, a good thing, and I have to acknowledge that dating yourself is fun, dating yourself is important, and dating yourself is something that I feel like I also should do and take some time to figure out myself and not allow my happiness to be commended upon another person. And when I say person, man, I want to make sure I say this I'm gay, a man, not a woman. A man it's just interesting.
Speaker 2:It doesn't matter if you say it or not. People are still going to have the assumptions that we are in a full-blown sexual relationship Because our relationship is so real. It's so real. That was my favorite quote was Wait, wait, my apologies, my apologies.
Speaker 1:This is the quotable quote that I want to say. This is the quotable quote, so go ahead and hit me with it.
Speaker 2:Hit me with it, my favorite was you've been outwardly in a relationship Uh-huh, you've been outwardly in a relationship all over social media discussing how real your relationship is. Okay, I said with with a gay man. That's my point. He's gay and you're in an open, sexual, real relationship with a gay man that clearly tells that they didn't even watch the clips.
Speaker 1:And I mean, if your attention span ain't long enough, the clips are less than a minute, baby, but you know, shady. Segue back to the topic of the week, and the topic of the week is outing versus dating, generational dating, because I feel like those are two things that we need to discuss. Okay, so do you know what an outing is versus a dating?
Speaker 2:So a date is planned.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 2:A date has intention behind it. A date has all of the good feels. I'll pick you up, I'll take you here. There's intention behind it. An outing Homie's kicking it, homie's kicking it.
Speaker 1:So okay, we can go a deep a dive. So do you feel like in an outing we should go Dutch and a date? I'm paying or you paying? What does that look like?
Speaker 2:I feel like a date you're definitely paying.
Speaker 1:Now by you what you mean.
Speaker 2:So we can have this conversation both ways. So, the man who asked me on the date got you, got you, okay, okay on an outing, we can go dutch, we're friends, it's. It's cool with me, I don't care, we not trying to go any further. Um, I would say we could go either way, because I had that conversation with a man who said well, if you invite me somewhere, I would be expecting you to pay.
Speaker 1:But listen, this is why, yeah, that's wild. Yeah, because like I'm just, I'm gonna go finish this thing because that's wild. Let me just say that, because that's why.
Speaker 2:I don't think about it. So the example that he gave was like when you invite your son's friends to go to like a ball game with you or on a trip, are you expecting their parents to pay? And I said, here's the thing Me no, personally. If I made a plan and I was taking my son's friend on a trip, I'm planning it in a couple of weeks for mid winter break. The friend that I'm taking with him, no, I don't expect their parents to say nothing. This is not, this is my plan. I'm paying for it, absolutely.
Speaker 2:He said why would it not be the same notion in a date that is, for instance, shout out to Crystal I'm going to a play on Valentine's Day. I purchased the tickets because it's my friend. I wanted to see her Tickets was going to go on sale. I don't like last minute purchases, so on and so forth.
Speaker 1:He's like so then that means you're paying for Valentine's Day this is why this person in the freezer you ain't throwing away yeah, you should throw him away, he should be in the trash, but that's my opinion. Um, just to follow up, there's different relationships for everything and that's one of the things that I don't think people really grasp and understand. Our relationship's different, like, when I'm down, you lift me up. I don't, I don't feel like I have to. One of the reasons I love our relationship up, I don't, I don't feel like I have to. One of the reasons I love our relationship is that you don't. You could be going through hell and high water and you still hold me down, and that's one of the things that I admire about you, which makes it easier for me to do more for you and pour into you. And, granted, our relationship is strictly platonic Lavender marriage, lavender marriage. Hold on, wait, wait, hi. Like. But I think it's very interesting that people expect In 2025, like, don't get me wrong, if I'm going out with a dude, I'm paying for myself, you're paying for yourself.
Speaker 1:I had an outing this week. The outing was Cool. Shout out, shout out to. Shout out to B yeah B, you know who you are. The outing was cool. Shout out to B, yeah, b. You know who you are. The outing was cool. You know it was a good outing, and what I will share is X, y, that was it. We got food. He paid for him, I paid for me that was how that went.
Speaker 1:That's it. And you know, if we decide to go on another outing, we go on another outing. But I'm learning that when you are on an outing, you can't expect more than just that, and the reason why I call it that is we going out, a date is planned. An outing to me is a hey, I just got off of work, you want to hang out? Sure, we can play video games, we can do this, we can do that. But, like that outing to me versus it being a date, a date, as you said, is planned, so money. This is my shady segue, because what I have found is generational dating is very, very, very, very, very interesting. I dated a gentleman who was um, let me make sure that I do this right they were a millennial as well. Funny enough, they were a millennial as well, which?
Speaker 1:shocking very much so.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, he was, he was but I'm saying it's not shocking keep going so what I am finding is those that are roughly in that good generation Z.
Speaker 1:They get the best communication. So I want to kind of expand and expand upon that and kind of like have a better conversation with you. But I'm finding that those that are from Generation Z actually communicate better. I'm not expecting you to tell me everything. What I'm finding is they use their words, their emotional intelligence is a lot higher and I crack up because I'm just like, so this is where I'm coming from.
Speaker 1:It's like, oh no, you make perfect sense. I'm like huh, Huh, because I know I'm not crazy, because I know what I'm saying. Somani, please, please, because your facial expression is saying something, because from my perspective, I don't think you, like, you're not dating a silent type which is 1928 to 1945. You know, I don't even think you want a baby boomer train which is 1946 to 1964. I feel like you're a Gen Xer, and a millennial Gen Xer is a 1965 to 1980. That sounds a little reminiscent, and you know. But I don't think actually. I think you dabble. I think you dabble with the Gen Z, you know.
Speaker 1:So you making all the faces.
Speaker 2:I have dabbled in all of the generations. I will agree there was one baby boomer, oh, okay. What's right underneath the baby boomers?
Speaker 1:Underneath is Generation X. That's 1965.
Speaker 2:Generation X has been the most unique to me because they are old school, they don't communicate well, they don't Millennials we are, so we were raised by baby boomers, huh.
Speaker 1:Stuck in our ways.
Speaker 2:We're stuck in our ways. We were raised by baby boomers. We want things our way because we grew up in a time where we got a lot of things given to us.
Speaker 1:We are the generation of well, not no, it's actually the more I was going to say we are the generation that like okay, think about it. When the internet first came out, we had dial-up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we got to understand. We are also the generation that's the most educated right now, because we were told that we had to get degrees to be able to do anything. So we're the ones with the most debt as well, but we're also the ones who aren't having kids because it's too expensive to have kids. Our generation is that generation that's just in the middle. Um, what I respect a lot about generation z is, even though they have a bunch of them that are really entitled, they don't have the same work ethic that we do. They do communicate better because they were allowed to communicate more and better than we were.
Speaker 1:I got to retort that because it's funny. I feel like the one thing about Gen Z is they're not lazy. They only put energy to things that make sense to give energy to. So like shout out to my cousin, my cousin's like, oh, yeah, I beat her up. I'm like, oh, but I'm not dumb enough to be filmed about it. I'm like, okay, pop off, pop off. And this is allegedly. I just think it's funny because on some real stuff, Gen Z, they're smart.
Speaker 2:Oh no, we not about to stand outside and pick it.
Speaker 1:We gonna post that video and send it to your HR hiring manager. We're going to send that to the CEO of this company. We're going to figure you out that way. That's one of the things I will say that I like about the Gen Z and actually Gen Alpha, because those are the people that are born from 2010 until roughly, I guess, and beyond. So that's one of the things that I shout out to them, those people Gen Z and Gen Alpha, because obviously it's going all the way around, like, yeah, now I'm not talking about dating Gen Z and Gen Alpha, I'm just saying, like, on the conversation of if we talk to all generations, it's interesting to hear different people's perspective because, again, what I want is someone who communicates.
Speaker 1:If you're upset, I get that. You may not want to talk in that moment, but you don't get to push me away for days and hours and weeks and, granted, I used to do that and that's not cool. That's not cool, like, how am I supposed to know what's going on? But I'm learning also, side pivoting, getting back to the question of the day, because we never answered that question. I'm learning that I can't expect me out of other people, and I think we talked about that. So yeah, go ahead, manny, go ahead. You know, what do you guys think? I mean.
Speaker 2:It's just, it's going to be what it's going to be. It's going to be that you got to find where you fit. So, like I definitely want somebody who communicates well, I, out of the ones that's in the freezer, the one that is shocking me the most is someone who's a Z, even though he's younger than me. The way he communicates, the way he thinks, the way he processes things is just a little bit different. When you probably way he thinks, the way he processes things, is just a little bit different. When you, probably a year ago, I was going to tell you I was going to marry somebody old. And because I'm at this beautiful age where I could date the father or the son, the uncle too, as soon as you said the father or the son, my brain went to the Holy Spirit.
Speaker 1:I was like you dating him too. You dating him too, you dating him to the holy spirit.
Speaker 2:No, not the holy spirit. Don't disrespect jesus like that, but no auntie.
Speaker 1:Auntie was like you need to get your life together. I was like, let me get together and come to church. And she was just like I say church. I was like, oh, you're right, you're right, you're right, um but no, I'm just saying like it's.
Speaker 2:It's interesting, the older gentlemen that I have dated wow, yes, they spoiled me. Wow, yes, they um, they were just too stuck in traditional roles, okay so I had this conversation with cousin jerry.
Speaker 1:Shout out to cousin jerry I you know we love cousin jerry and you know he didn't want his wife working for anyone else. So she is a stay-at-home mom but she does hair and like he's like I want to get her hair business off of the ground. I'm like, okay, I see that and he's like I essentially want to work for her. Now, cousin Jerry made good money but he always hustling.
Speaker 1:Then he has multiple side hustles and that's one of the things that I love about my cousin, I love that you can have a real conversation and we may not necessarily see eye to eye, but he's not disrespectful. You know, we had the conversation about generational curses and like how my grandfather was versus how my father was and like how I am, and he essentially said, like you know, granddaddy wasn't as soft as dad is not your dad because he's a uncle. And then you know you even softer than your dad. Daddy is not your dad because he's an uncle, and then you know you're even softer than your dad. He wasn't saying it in like the gay way, but the sense of you have a way to pull stuff out of people. Like I'd ask my dad for a picture in 2023 and he basically told me no, you know, I'll ask my daddy for nothing. So I was like bet, never mind, I stormed off, I was crying.
Speaker 2:He's like come back here.
Speaker 1:I'm like no, I'm like I'll ask you for nothing and like I don't think sometimes that people realize. But I'm again going back to the statement I said we can't expect people out, we can't expect ourselves out of other people.
Speaker 2:So, going back to the actual question of the day what's the oldest you will in the day? What's the youngest you will in the day? Oldest that I have, or?
Speaker 1:that I'm willing. No, no, willing is different than have, because we ain't allegedly telling nobody how old you to date it. What's the oldest you're willing to date?
Speaker 2:My range 25.
Speaker 1:Okay, Okay, the issue I had was that's the oldest right GMO, that's the oldest right no, that's the youngest, 25, and then? I'm thinking you going okay, but you know you 25 no above me.
Speaker 2:Well, no, I'll do 25 to 55, 25 to 55, okay so you're giving that.
Speaker 1:What I was going to say was, I'll say, youngest. The youngest that I'm willing to date or talk to is roughly 12 years younger than I am, and the oldest that I am willing to date is somebody that is essentially 40, 48, so that's like I say 12, 12, I mean that's that's not exact right now 46, so like maybe 47. I feel like that 12 is that good safe space for me and the reason why I'm finding that is, I dated someone in 2023 who was well you know how I saw the color purple and I went.
Speaker 1:We went to see the color purple. I went on date with him and one of the catchphrases he kept saying is like we don't have to work on that, we have to work on that. I was like in my head, I got it down. You're at my house eating my food.
Speaker 2:I'm like, and I don't like and that's the only thing about older men is they want to fix things. So, like the one guy that I dated, he was the sweetest man but he was like he was studying to be a pastor. You know I love the board.
Speaker 1:He was like you know we're going to have to change your outfit and I'm like did you, did you pay for it? Did you pay for it?
Speaker 2:even if you did, I'm gonna wear it on work because I, I think he did, though the thing about it, the thing that bothered me, is that we had went shopping together and then he, like, went shopping on his own. He's always just pop up with clothes. For me, um, I have, you know, recently lost a lot of weight, so he would pop up with clothes, and then we went out one night and I put on this jumpsuit that snatched my whole body, and he refused to get out the car yeah, I think you told me about this story which I think, is he refused to get out the car because the attention would all be on me, of course, though, but like who would not, I'm fine with you but that's the thing that cracks me up, okay, so
Speaker 1:one of the things you bought it though I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have this conversation one of the things that I admire about those that are in that younger age and I've had conversations with three different gentlemen. Again, nothing serious has happened with any of them, but the consecration I do is like okay, cool, what? Okay cool you do you Like I mean, I'm cool with it. They'd have been in live streams, They'd have gifted me, They'd have tapped the screen and shouted out they played like ghost follower. They didn't gifted me, they didn't tap the screen and shout it out they, they play like ghost follower. They didn't get all of it.
Speaker 1:And when I say ghost follower, I'm not like stalking me, I'm talking about ghost follower in a way like I support you and people don't know. You have to know about me and you. I'm just like shout out to you because when I was dating dumb ass, because it's like okay, you want to go ahead and be a thought on TikTok, and I'm like huh. Or I was dating another person who is also a content creator and like you over here saying X, Y or Z, and I'm like your whole page is a thirst trap. Well, maybe that's my content. I said obviously it worked, Otherwise I wouldn't be talking to you, but my point being is there can't be a double standard. That's something that worries me.
Speaker 2:Always a double standard, especially as a woman, though.
Speaker 1:It took me a moment to get to the point, but the point is that you bought this for me and now you don't like the way I look in it. Wow, that speaks so much crazily about you.
Speaker 2:Like, what are you doing? Literally, literally. I thought you were gonna wear it like layered, like under. No, I never thought you would just wear the jumpsuit. I thought you were gonna put a sweater or a whole like a skirt over it or something and I was like, I mean, a skirt could have been cute, but that's not the look I was going for. That's not where we were going, like if we was going to church, maybe, but we wasn't going to church.
Speaker 2:So you're showing up church I'm not showing up to church in a jumpsuit now I have, but I put a cardigan or a blazer or whatever because I had brunch or something afterwards then didn't want to look like I was at church at brunch but that's the thing that I'm saying, like, and I mean this conversation could go on and on and on and on, because that's one person from that generation and it's not.
Speaker 1:However, my point and what I'm trying to say is the double standard is real, especially for women, especially for black women, and I, I, I don't want to get into other Samani you know there's Armani and Samani and Samani was so it was out there, you know, out there, out there. But for me it's interesting because, like, whatever I do with my time, whatever I do with my energy, is whatever I'm doing with my time, is whatever I'm doing with my energy, whenever I decide to give my time and energy to, is what I'm giving my time and energy to. You don't get to dictate what that looks like. You don't get to.
Speaker 2:You can ask but I mean, yeah, plans. The double standard in a way that we come across with women is I, um, recently came across a guy who he was like you're fine as hell and I said thank you and he was so offended by the thank you. Why? I guess because most women would just be blushful and typically because I also am someone who doesn't always know how to take a compliment. Now do I know I'm fine as hell, absolutely.
Speaker 2:I've done a lot of work to make this body look the way this body look. A lot of work to heal my heart. A lot of work to make sure that I stayed who I was, through everything that I've been through Right Now I know, heal my heart. A lot of work to make sure that I stayed who I was, through everything that I've been through. Right now I know I'm fine as hell, so I said thank you. But what is so wrong with a woman having confidence that he was just like no, he was just like oh yeah, no, not you. And I'm like what do you mean? He was like I just I just never had a woman just say thank you to that. I was like it's a compliment, right?
Speaker 1:one of those types of situations you can't control how I react to something number one and then to number two. On that, like I noticed that in the world because I got back on Facebook dating, I deleted it today. I'm just like y'all weird If I say how are you? You say good, I'm not going to ask another question.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I literally, someone literally sent my messages right fucking now, crying, because he was like you just don't communicate well, and I said you, I literally said good morning, how are you. You said good, that was the fuck it because you didn't say nothing else.
Speaker 1:So it don't matter if you're straight or not, that's the same, because that's the same thing that I deal with, and I'll be over like this Okay, clearly you want to end this conversation, because what are we doing here and again?
Speaker 1:money you work a job, I work a job. You have a kid, I got nephews and nieces. We do this podcast. We work out. Do this podcast, we work out. We have part-time jobs, we go to church. There's tons of things in the day that I'm going to give my energy to, and this is not one of them. To continue to go back and forth. Fine, argue with your mama, that's what I'm gonna say.
Speaker 2:Argue with your mama but no disrespect to mamas. I had a moment the other day watching a TV show and then that clip from Cash Doll where Cash Doll says I don't have to shimmer down for you to shimmer up and you should feel like you the baddest bitch when you walk in the room. And just like I feel like I'm the baddest bitch when I walk in the room, shout out to Cash Doll, shout out to Detroit. But that is real. I don't have to say or feel like I'm less than any. I know that when I walk in the room I'm the baddest bitch and that's because of who my mom was.
Speaker 1:But that goes back to what I was talking about that generation, that generation, truly, the fact that they'll be who I want to be on, like I can be SGR on TikTok and they like okay, cool, I like to see you do this.
Speaker 1:Now one of them did give me an idea Talk about some, talk about some recoil. I said, okay, well, I'm going to call mine assets I think it's in the name but I'm like well, we don't get to see the back. No, drop some gifts that you get to see the assets. I'm trying to shake it for free. But I had to say that because now I will tell you that I have some loyal followers, because one actually screenshot was like oh, let us send you money. I was like not for hours, wow, but you know, I got the workout in, so it's okay. But but my point of what I'm trying to say to what you're saying is it's okay to not be okay, it's okay to not like, it's okay to not do this, but it is not okay not to communicate. I, I like this, it's okay not to do this, but it is not okay not to communicate.
Speaker 1:I did get that when I'm like, I mean, we don't say this in 2035, but I'm a reflection of what you said. So if you say good baby, clearly today and I'm not trying to sound like an asshole, but today one of my friends was like are you going to ask me a question? I was like, well, I'm on TikTok live, but I don't know. You made a statement. I asked how are you? You said good, you didn't ask me about my day. And again, he's of a younger generation. I'm not mad, but I'm just like I'm tired of being the person that initiates the conversation. I'm tired of being the person who's trying to drill and answer questions out of you. I'm tired of all of it. So that's it.
Speaker 2:I really have nothing more to say, because I can go on for all day about this topic all I'll say is everybody's in the freezer, because I am just spending a little more time focusing on my own self-worth and I had my own reflection the other day that many of these men would not even exist if their mothers, no had a little more self-worth. So with that notion no disrespect, I am somebody's mama I would not exist if I had a little more self-worth back then.
Speaker 1:Wait, wait, wait. Is that what we're leaving people with this week? Your mama, you know what this is, sgr and Bobby, and we're going to go ahead and shout out and say bye, bye, y'all, bye, y'all, bye.