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Relationship Realism: Rasta Roster Reflections, Zodiac Zingers, and Valentine's Values with a Dash of Breakup Brilliance

• Rumeal • Season 1 • Episode 17

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Ever wondered if one partner can truly decide when a relationship is over? Join us on Relationship Realism as we unpack this spicy topic and more. Moni and I, SGR, are here to share our personal journeys in modern dating. Moni's "Rasta Pasta" roster remains on ice as she focuses on her self-worth, while I start with a clean slate. We'll reveal why mutual agreement is crucial when ending relationships, using Moni's ongoing saga with "BS" as a case study. Astrology lovers, hold your horses! We even chat about the risks and pitfalls of dating someone with the same zodiac sign. 

Valentine's Day has us reflecting on the nuances of love, timing, and self-worth. We explore how the dynamics of being on someone's roster can shape our expectations and communication in relationships. Personal stories of divorce and reconnections with past partners give us a chance to muse over finding the right person at the right time. We promise you'll leave with insights into manifesting desires while appreciating what you have in the pursuit of lasting love. Join us for a candid conversation packed with laughter, personal growth, and the ever-entertaining unpredictability of modern relationships.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Relationship Realism. It's your boy, sgr, and your girl.

Speaker 2:

Mani Hi everyone.

Speaker 1:

Hey, hey, mani. So let's just get right into it so that people know. If you don't know what the Rasta Pasta is, it's again the roster of potential candidates. Mani, how's your Rasta been cooking Things in the freezer Trash? Have we dethawed anything?

Speaker 2:

All of the potentials that we have been talking about are still in the freezer.

Speaker 1:

Okay, Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay Okay.

Speaker 2:

Okay, okay, okay, okay Okay.

Speaker 1:

Okay, okay, because it happens in real life.

Speaker 2:

It happens in real life. I have learned a couple things about myself and things that I'm not settling for. In the last episode, we talked about making sure you know your self-worth, and some of them just don't deserve me. So yeah. And then there's new potentials. Old but Holds Old word, oh no.

Speaker 1:

Oh no, we can't, we can't, we can't talk about all of it. You know we ain't got to that. What about my Rasta Pasta?

Speaker 2:

What about your Rasta Pasta?

Speaker 1:

My refrigerator's empty. I have no water.

Speaker 2:

That's not always a bad thing. Like I said, tossing all of mine out could have just led to something better.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I guess you want to go ahead and drop a nickname. So what's this one's name?

Speaker 2:

We're going to go with Old School Love and Basketball. Let's call him.

Speaker 1:

Quincy, hey, I see what you tried to do there. Well, I guess, before we get into the story of the week, we do have the question of the week, which is, if you're in a relationship, can someone tell you when it's over or when it's not over, are you allowed to be? And again, we're going to expand upon this, because this is really like the question in the story Can you, can you, can I tell you, if we are together, that if you break up with me, I can hit you with it's not over until I say it's over? Like how does that work?

Speaker 2:

Because of my life right now. Bs is BSing. I told you guys that I gave BS his walking papers and BS is convinced that we are still in monogamy and a monogamous relationship.

Speaker 1:

So there's this thing I like to call delusion, and clearly this person is in there and in their delulu, because my perspective, if I tell you we're not together anymore, you don't get the ability to determine if we're together or not together. And this is only three minutes in, so hopefully this is juicy enough for them to watch it and understand. But you're not together, you've not been together for several months now and again we discussed this in a previous episode the difference between an outing and a dating or, excuse me, an outing and a date. Dating or a date is planned. An outing to me is something like oh, let's just go get some chicken wings, let's go to Coney real quick, let's go shoot a move.

Speaker 2:

That's the thing about BS is, while we, you know, he did ask me to be in a monogamous relationship with him. We traveled together. We, you know, did couple things. We also had not seen each other. We did not spend Christmas together and were technically together during Christmas. He each other. We did not spend Christmas together and we're technically together during Christmas. He just didn't make the time. And I am just someone who believes that you are never too busy for the person that you want to see. And he is someone that I have learned is, if he wanted to, he would, and I believe that, in any sense of the word, with any man, if he wanted to, he would, and I believe that, in any sense of the word, with any man. If he wanted to be there, if he wanted to see me consistently, he would have.

Speaker 1:

We didn't want to because he was just in love with the idea of amani, but not we always have this conversation, but like shout out to my new peer, her name is alexis and she's going to be on an episode of zesty zodiacs. She does astrology and she's going to break down an episode of Zesty Zodiac. She does astrology and she's going to break down the differences with your sun, your eyes, your mood, those different things. I bring this back to say I told you not to date your own zodiac sign. I told you not to. I told you not to, but you had to be hard-headed, just like the Taurus that you are, and do things your way, because, from my perspective, you should have known dating yourself was not going to work, you know so.

Speaker 2:

So there's another one on my roster. Well, we can't say he's on my roster. There's another potential who's also the same sign and there's a different kind of connection that I can't say if that's romantic yet, but we are the same sign and we do have a different kind of connection, other than I've ever experienced outside of certain things.

Speaker 1:

But it's not my sign at all so I kind of say this to you, and again, this is just again my opinion Mm-hmm, you have to realize what you want to do and what you don't want to do.

Speaker 2:

And from my and I've learned it.

Speaker 1:

No, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying in this instance, in my opinion I feel like from different stories I've heard this week, bs is just also BS and they crazy because they cannot be a real person. They just cannot be like. We kind of jokingly talked about this on the Harlem episode, primetime. Go check that out if you guys want to laugh. But um, or a little bit longer of an episode, because this may be a short episode of relationship realism, it may be a long one, who knows? But clear communication is important. Making assumptive statements are different than having a clear conversation with someone. So if you ask the question and I give you an answer and then you're going to say you do a blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, no, you're assuming I'm doing blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. You don't know. But again, you know it was something you said that had me on the floor. What was the lady's name? Beth, was it Beth from 7-Eleven?

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

If Beth from 7-Eleven can sit my man, that ain't my man and that had me on the floor. That had me on the floor to death. I was like you ain't worried about that. Beth can sit my man from 7-Eleven over some chicken wings.

Speaker 2:

I am so confident in walking into a room and I will tell you, I will tell another woman in that she's gorgeous. If she's gorgeous, I'm a girl's girl and if I tend to come around across these men who are flirtatious, I'm also very flirtatious that there was a an incident with a gentleman out of state. We were in a 7-eleven. Him and the woman behind the counter were a little flirty.

Speaker 1:

She made him some wings, whatever, whatever you gotta tell us, sir, the way that he wanted the wings the way that he wanted them like cause.

Speaker 2:

He wanted them all flat. He wanted a certain number of them to be one flavor, a certain other to be this and Beth, in the middle of the night this is 12, 31 makes these wings for this man. They're laughing, they're giggling, they're cheeky cheeky as I'm retelling the story. You say like you're not jealous of it. What? Because if Beth making these wings at 7-11 is what takes my man, that's not my man, obviously. I mean it is what it is. Um, the same thing happened with my son's father and his current relationship. Someone asked me the other day if I was jealous of their relationship and of hers.

Speaker 1:

Of a Muppet.

Speaker 2:

There is nothing for me to be jealous of.

Speaker 1:

You mean of the Muppet I'm sorry, it's not even that, no. I was asking you.

Speaker 2:

I mean, there is that, there's that.

Speaker 1:

But you see, the Lord don't like me. Right now, my throat.

Speaker 2:

All of that. Wait a minute, hold on. But no, I am not jealous of their relationship. In my own video that I released, I talk about the fact of I'm a gallon size kind of girl. The person that I'm with also needs to be gallon size.

Speaker 2:

My ex was not. He was pint size, and no disrespect, not saying that he didn't have a lot, but they always say that you can only give so much and someone could literally be giving you their all and that not be enough. And I state in that video he went and found someone who what he gives is a lot is enough is whatever meaning. He found his pint-sized partner no shade, no disrespect. But obviously, if what he's giving her is enough, she don't compare insides to me.

Speaker 2:

That's just apples, do? We can't do apples to oranges, you can only do apples to apples, and we're just not in the same category caliber status for me to be jealous. We have the same level for me to be like and then, like I always say, how you get them is how you lose them, and I'm going to stay in my happy space because that's not my problem anymore, and I do wish them the best. I hope that they both love to dance that they dance their way to forever Into wherever they go in this world has nothing to do with me. I will continue being me and beside my divorce papers so y'all can be happily together and he not be mine, because if something happened to that man today, everything's got my name on it. Baby girl, what cash? Y'all say you might as well be my side bitch, but regardless. Free money, hashtag, free money.

Speaker 1:

I kind of have to pause and laugh because it's let me, let me go ahead and let you clear your throat, because from my perspective I just came, that's all I'm gonna say.

Speaker 2:

Uh but that is, and his BS is interesting because we also had a conversation about Valentine's Day and I'm going to go see I Love you and my husband staring. One of my homegirls Told him about the play. He made a smart comment that he needed to check his roster to see what they wanted to do. And I made a comment if I'm ever an option, do not choose me, because I'm not the one.

Speaker 1:

But this is the thing. Can we take a pause? Can we take a pause? Because we talked about in Harlem. So I have a question to pause for you why is it that men are infatuated with being on the roster where they fall on the roster, versus just being number one so I can end the roster? That, to me, is a question that you, if you want to focus on something, because again, learning about sports, jared Goff ain't worried about being number three, number four, where he falls. He's trying to worry about being the best. Same thing with Bo Nix, who played on the Denver Broncos. I know they didn't have the best season this year. Obviously, it's the Eagles and the Chiefs that are playing tonight at 630 Eastern Standard Time. However, I don't think if you spend all your time worried about where you fall, you're going to fall and lose me instead of appreciating what you have. So, to me, like, come on, it's right.

Speaker 2:

He wasn't even referring to my roster. He was referring to his own. I understand.

Speaker 1:

He's giving you, but he's trying to do this competition, competing type shit. That's what pissed me off.

Speaker 2:

But we're in a relationship though, so it can make sense. And then I said something like he was like oh so you have plans for Valentine's Day and we go together. I said we're not together. We're not together until I say we're not together. But if you're my girl, then you're automatically my Valentine. I said no, you still gotta ask me. I'm old school. I made you flat out say will you be my girlfriend when we originally got together. I don't do the just assumptions. Um, during couples counseling with that man that I was married to, he made the. He made a joke like I don't think I ever remember asking you to be my girlfriend. I think people just assume we were together and we went with it. So because of that, every man since then you got to flat out say will you be my girl? No man will be settled or anything else for me.

Speaker 1:

It's not easy. Listen, I'm really in my feels today because Valentine's Day is coming up and you know, valentine's Day was for the girls and I think that was just this past, I think yesterday for y'all. I ain't no gal, you're supposed to treat yourself with your girlfriend. That's not what funny galentines say. Galen girls, maybe next year, maybe next year, my point, I'll be married next year.

Speaker 2:

so no, I'll be married by next year. My husband better have asked me to be his valentine. I've been praying to get married.

Speaker 1:

I'll have it can I, can, I, can, I, can, I, can I do a ring check? Okay, I just want to make sure for those on the podcast listening.

Speaker 2:

There are no rings on her finger no rings on my finger, but I am someone who believes in manifesting what I want, oh, no, even a baby.

Speaker 1:

I believe in manifestation, but we did just talk about how tyler left we. But I am someone who believes in manifesting what I want. Oh, no, baby. I believe in manifestation, but we did just talk about how time left. We was with this girl for three years and they ain't just get married, but you know what?

Speaker 2:

But he also said in the same podcast that he he knew the day he met miracle that he was going to marry her is just. It was a crazy idea to just marry her, but he's always known that he was going to marry that girl.

Speaker 1:

Okay. So I'm going to say this is probably going to be our second or third shortest episode of relationship realism, because if I go any further, I will have you. I mean, you can talk about the man. I didn't know we were talking about the man. So anything you want to share about the man?

Speaker 2:

I mean it goes to something that we talked about in the Harlem episode about timing. So I met Quincy before I met my husband. We had a rendezvous or three or four or ten or twelve or something, and we just both. It just didn't work. It wasn't the time for us. We recently ran into each other and of course I've been through a marriage, I have a child, he has kids, he's been through a really long engagement, those types of things, but right place, wrong time, or now right place, right person. But we just both had to grow up first. So we'll stay tuned. There may not be a roster update. It's like you said, if someone does what they need to do, for there to not be anyone else.

Speaker 1:

I would love to have that for you. I'm not going to hold you up I'd be cracking up because we'd be joking back and forth but I would love to be in a relationship and you would be in a relationship and we could talk about that, versus talking about the potentials and everything. That would be epic, you know. But I'm also saying that in 2025, relationships don't all equal and look the same, and the 80-20 rule very much applies, and the personality and everything Like all of it matters. All of it matters. So, yeah, that's all I just that's all I really wanted to say. This episode of Relationship Realism. That's all I've got today. You want to leave the people with anything else.

Speaker 2:

Stay true to who you are, communicate better and love yourself so that you can teach others how to love you. Love.

Speaker 1:

Alright, this is your boy, sgr, and your girl, and this is relationship realism. We'll see you guys next time.

Speaker 2:

Bye everyone.