067- Naked As A Prayer: Liberation Over Seduction

In this episode, we dive into the nuanced relationship between nudity, shame, and sexuality. I unpack the societal conditioning that has taught us to relate nakedness with sexualization & sexual availability and explore how this impacts our connection to our bodies. Together, we’ll reflect on the roots of body shame, the role of cultural and religious influences, and why reclaiming our nakedness can be a liberating, non-sexual act of self-acceptance!

Whether you’ve struggled with feeling at home in your skin or you’re curious about what it means to embrace your body unapologetically, this conversation will challenge the status quo and inspire you to rethink your relationship with nudity.

My un-official mission is to get everyone naked :P Which is why I'm hosting monthly Brunch & Boobie Gatherings starting December 1st, 2024 as well as Conscious Temple Nights, also known as Play Parties in the greater Houston, Texas area. Learn more here.

Thank you so much for tuning in and being here. Any takeaways and support you can offer means the world to me so please leave a review and share on your socials & tag me @thesomaticpriestess

Learn more about classes, workshops, collaborations HERE

If you're interested in being a guest, connect with us on Instagram and let's chat! Creating the "storytime" series requires listeners like YOU to be bold and reach out so that your story can be heard, because your story matters!

We love to hear from you, so please connect with us on Instagram: @thesomaticpriestess and @anthony._michael

Transcript

UNKNOWN: 0:00

uh

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

Hi, and welcome to the Grows We Go podcast. I'm Sam, a somatic priestess, self-growth junkie, and the host of this podcast.

SPEAKER_01: 0:12

And I'm Anthony, men's transformational coach, your co-host, and general question asker.

SPEAKER_00: 0:18

Together, we provide a playful perspective on growth and self-development. Our intention for this podcast is to provide you with tips, tools, and guidance to support you in expanding your mind, and connecting to your body, intertwining the divine and the taboo through conversations on science, spirituality, and sacred sex. It is our mission to inspire you to let go of the shame and limiting beliefs so that you can become fully liberated and reclaim the power that you've kept hidden from yourself. I want to appreciate you for being here. You know, not everyone listens to podcasts like this and dives into the depths of their souls through self-growth and development. So congratulations on being pretty badass. We love feedback here. So if you would leave your thoughts and takeaways from this episode in the review section of this podcast, this will also help it become a bit more relevant in search reviews. That way you and your junkie friends can come and get their fix too thank you so much for listening here we grow as

SPEAKER_01: 1:29

we go

SPEAKER_00: 1:32

hello beautiful people and welcome to another episode of grows we go today we have a solo episode with yours truly and today i want to talk about nudity being naked our birthday suits um There's such a stigma around naked bodies and that there's also this association between being naked and that being naked is inherently sexual, where there's not this neutrality to naked bodies. And I love being naked. I'm going to share a little bit. I didn't always use... I didn't always enjoy being naked. I didn't always feel comfortable being naked. I distinctly remember being at a lover's house and he was like walking around naked and I would immediately get dressed after being intimate, which I think is really common for a lot of people to like, you know, either have sex with the lights off like completely pitch black dark right like we're just using our sensory experience here and we're just using you know where we like our body awareness and there's no it's like not wanting to be seen in how bright it is. You know, I used to feel really uncomfortable with, with lights on, um, like too much light, you know, I just wanted it to be dark. And there's also something to be said about like, maybe not having, you know, a freaking spotlight on you because that's not exactly like setting the mood and dimming the lights and feeling cozy. But like, I know a don't you know oh i can't have sex with the light on you know because it's like just another distraction because they're they're in their heads thinking i feel like women are already in their heads a lot during sex i know i tend to be or it's very easy for me to like come out of my body and get into my head or get distracted by some random thought or like a sound you know um but like whenever there's the lights there's like that added thought that women have internalized around how people perceive them. And so I'm not going to get into that too much, but like there's this, you know, we are very conscious as women, especially because it's been so ingrained to us to be aware of how people perceive us or what we think people are perceiving us, right? And the way that we look in particular, right? like in relation to how we look and how we're presenting ourselves or, you know, what side, like our good side, you know, make sure you get our good side when we're taking photos. And just, there's this, this thing around the way that we look. And so with sex and with our bodies, like there's this double thing, right? So I know a lot of women don't want to, I know I didn't want to have sex with the light on and, or, um, right like even if you have the lights dim and you're okay with that but there's this like almost immediate after the sexual experience is over, it being like, okay, let me cover up, you know, let me get the blanket over, over my body, or I'll put my clothes back on before I get up and go to the restroom. And as if, as if you were quite literally just inside of each other, you know, like the most intimate you could possibly be, but like, I don't really feel comfortable with you seeing me naked, walk away or, or, or come back. You know, I think there's some, maybe we're more comfortable with like the front side of our body, but like have insecurities around the backside. I know I have been through a lot of those shifts. I used to be more confident with the backside of my body, and then it was the front side, and then it has gone back to the backside. It's just so interesting. I don't know if any women listening can relate to that shift or experience. I am really curious where you are on this whole experience of being a human and dealing with nakedness and where you fit. So I went on a little side tangent there, but kind of back to the story around my journey with being naked and being at my lover's house. And even just like walking around the house naked would be uncomfortable for me. And he would just walk around naked all the time. And I thought that that was so interesting. And So then I started walking around naked and even though it felt a little bit uncomfortable, it was interesting for me to notice that like there's this uncomfortability in my own skin being naked and being exposed. And even though, like even being by myself and being naked in the house, you know, that can be an area where if you have the availability to be at home by yourself, like try walking around naked, especially if this is something that... you're not comfortable with and you're wanting to become comfortable with it. I think it's no secret that I am inherently this self-growth junkie and see so many opportunities of discomfort as areas of growth and areas that I can expand on. my comfort level and expand therefore my liberation and the freedom that I'm willing and able to experience in this life. So, um, yeah, I didn't always feel comfortable being naked. Um, it took a little bit of, it took a little bit of being uncomfortable and of trying and then even now, you know, in certain situations. Sometimes maybe I don't feel so comfortable, but I've done enough like work and put myself into various opportunities and experiences where there is the availability to be naked and be naked in front of other people, um, potentially strangers even. And there's just this like, calmness and freeness and like at peace and love and acceptance that i feel with my body that i think many people don't have and i know i didn't for a really long time there was just like you know even though i think by many standards i'm a fairly attractive person and you know thin um tall and like but there's always what i have learned is that people will always find things that they are uncomfortable with about their bodies, no matter what they look like. And, you know, you can be the most beautiful person in the world and typically without a lot of work and without, you know, being willing to get uncomfortable and without, you know, having a commitment to growth, essentially, you're never going to get comfortable if you're avoiding the discomfort, if that makes sense. So, um, yeah, like you can't buy confidence. You can't wait for confidence. Confidence comes from doing things that you're scared of or, you know, having the courage to overcome that fear. So, being naked is a lot of, like a lot of people, you know, use that as a modality to help like calm themselves. You know, like just imagine if you're going to do a public speaking thing, it's like, just imagine everyone's in their underwear or, you know, that they're naked and like somehow that that's supposed to help because maybe they're more exposed than you are or something. And I know that like a lot of people, I don't know about a lot of people. I've seen it on like TV shows and stuff, you know, where the kid or somebody is like nervous about something and then they're having this really bad dream about the event that's coming up and like, oh my gosh, bonus points, they're naked or they're only wearing their underwear or they forgot to put on, you know, a shirt, whatever. Like there's some form of nudity or exposed skin exposure that they're not used to being covered up. And And I think that that's just really unfortunate that we don't have more love and acceptance for our naked bodies in a realm of innocence and acceptance and love. And I know that there's a lot of things shifting in the world right now around body positivity and loving the skin you're in and big is beautiful and all these different things and stretch marks are beautiful and they're natural and... just like a loving acceptance of the natural body. And I, and I really love that and appreciate that. And like, I'm so grateful that we're, we're shifting out of this paradigm of airbrush perfection and, um, you know, just like these, these quite literally impossible societal standards. And especially as women that, you know, we're expected to live up, up to. And, um, So I see a lot of shifts there and also there's still this like lingering thing that happens. And so I feel really passionate about getting people naked and getting people like naked in the metaphorical, the emotional, the physical the spiritual like naked exposed let's just be vulnerable and like bare our souls and bare our skin and just be even closer to being authentically who you are and who you came in this world to be and like unabashed shamelessly you all those things and so Um, yeah, I just, I really do. I love the naked body. And I think that I always have, you know, I think about, um, being in like high school and being in the locker room and like changing. I was in soccer and, and changing was always a thing, you know, you're like, there's, I was definitely one of those girls that like tried to keep everything covered as I'm changing, you know, like, um, like pulling my bra out from under my shirt that's like kind of over my shoulders but not letting it come up too much and then trying to like put another shirt on and then like quickly take the other one off underneath it and then put my clothes on or wearing the towel and putting my clothes over it. or just outright going to the bathroom and not even dealing with that, having privacy. And then I also noticed that there were women that were just so free and would change in front and it'd be this casual thing and leaving their top off while they're in the middle of a conversation and then casually putting their clothes on. And I was like, man, that's really cool. I wish I were unafraid to do that. And it took me a long time after that to figure it out. Hi. I have a brief interruption. I want to start off by saying how grateful I am to share these tips, tools, and pleasure practices that can bring more sensuality, healing, and freedom into your life and into this journey of exploration. One of my absolute favorite brands for some of these sacred tools of exploring sensuality and sexuality is wands. They've got it all. They're beautiful crystal pleasure wands that even have yoni eggs and other yoni products so yoni steaming kits and a free bleed blanket for our moon cycles it's seriously a paradise for anyone looking to dive deep into tantric and embodiment self-care every piece feels like such a magical ally for me on this path and because the owner is so incredible she's offering a 10% discount just for you so if you go to their website wands that's w-a I'll make sure that I link that in the show notes for you. I cannot recommend these products enough on your journey of sexual exploration and expanding your orgasmic potential. Trust me, your body will thank you for the inevitable pleasure that is to come your way as you continue on your journey of mind, body, and soul expansion and exploration. Now let's get back to the episode. But I also remember just like wanting to stare at and wanting to admire and not like in a creepy way you know not not and I don't you know what is creepy anymore right but like I think you know what I mean like there's not not this like taking energy and like doing it for my own gain but just like a curiosity of other people's bodies and other women's bodies and other men's bodies without it turning into this like oh, you're a lesbian or oh, you're making somebody uncomfortable or there's a sexual energy being exchanged and it's like, no, I would like to just look and admire and see what's different about your body compared to mine and just this exploration and also a... Um, curiosity really is what it is, um, or what it was for me. And like this curiosity of different bodies. And there's this very, um, I guess like a unspoken rule of how you're, you know, when you're in the locker room where people are naked, you like eyes up, you know, making eye contact, like really not intensely, but like, that's your focus, right? Like, don't look down, don't look away. Um, We don't want anybody to think we're checking them out or whatever, but just eye contact. And I'm like, man, I just would love to look all over your body and just see what you look like, but never feeling really comfortable with that up until recently. And Anyway, so I was just, I was thinking about that because I went to the Tantra Love Retreat in Austin a few months ago and one of the exercises, you know, people got nude in various capacities, but one of them was about like taking your clothes off and people did that to various stages of comfortability. And that was something that I shared, you know, like being naked feels, especially in front of strangers, like, It can feel scary, but more of it for me is like, I just love bodies and I love looking at them. And I'm just so curious. I find myself, you know, I'm a people watcher. I love looking at people, especially in crowds. It's why I like going to the Texas Renaissance Festival or the Texas Rodeo. And I'm just always like, I could just sit and people watch a lot. Like I love watching the way people interact and, and their dynamics and what they choose to wear and how they choose to carry themselves and like make up stories about what's going on in their life and it's just like a whole experience and you know the body is is such a beautiful landscape and like some people have tattoos and some people have scars for different things and um you know they have different sized bodies and in parts of their bodies. And anyway, there's just like a deep fascination for me here. So I feel like that was a lot of me rambling about bodies, um, in my curiosity around them. But one of the things that I think about when I think about nudity and our, our society's general aversion to, you know, I'll put your clothes on and like cover up and, you know, stay, stay, stay covered up, you know, and like be modest and no, I don't know. is there's this movie called Zootopia. It's like a kid's movie. It's an animation movie about animals, basically. But it's like they live in the city and they have people jobs and they wear clothes and they do all these different things. So I'm not going to get into the movie, but the point is all the animals are wearing clothes and they're standing upright and they're talking. So they're very much like human-ified animals. Is that the right word? Personified? To be like humans. And there's this one scene where the main character, Rabbit Girl, is looking looking for somebody she's like a police officer and like doing detective work and so she's she's trying to uncover this mystery and um she gets a lead that takes her to like a yoga shala yoga studio type of thing um and and you know this person's like very this animal is very um natural and like has flies all around him and like hasn't taken a shower and he's sitting behind the desk and then he gets up and he's gonna go show her and he's naked um and And she's like, oh, my gosh, and like covers herself, her eyes and like, you know, like uncomfortable about it, that he's naked and he's just like so chill about it and not not really even giving her attention about the way that she's reacting to it, which I thought was really funny. And also like an interesting way to go about reacting or how people react sometimes to things that we do. Right. Just like pretend like. nothing's happening, which is interesting. But, um, so she was very like covering her eyes and like, you know, not wanting to like looking at him and looking down and looking away and not wanting, not wanting to see it. And so then she's following him and it turns out like this whole yoga studio, Shala sanctuary place is like a nudist colony essentially. And so like they're doing nude yoga and like people are walking, they're not people, the animal characters are walking around naked and she's like, you know, kind of can't wait to get out of there. Uh, it's like making her very uncomfortable. And I think that it's really funny to imagine like once upon a time we didn't have clothes, you know, and once upon a time we weren't so covered and like that was normal, you know, and to think, to think about animals doing that is kind of funny because you know, animals don't really typically wear clothes that often. And so it's almost strange to see them in clothes. But then in this movie, it was like the animals that weren't wearing clothes were the weird ones. And so I don't know. It's just interesting to me to think about that and to think about like the natural ways and how we came into this world. And the level of shame and discomfort that people feel around naked bodies, not just their own, but also others. And there's so much shame that bodies carry. And I talk about this a lot, especially in regards to women and women's work, because there's a lot of shame in our culture around bodies around sex and around religion. And women tend to get the brunt of all three of those things. But everybody gets some sort of trickle down effect of the shame around our bodies. And there's this, like I said, unavailable... What am I saying? Like... there is a standard that's like unachievable. And even the people who seem to have achieved it on the outside, like there's something within them and something that they are most likely self-conscious about within their body. And, you know, there's this like the body never, like our bodies never look right or there's always something wrong with them, like a nitpicky sort of thing. Like, oh, I wish I didn't have these stretch marks or I wish my stomach was a little bit smaller or I wish my boobs were bigger. I wish they were smaller. I wish my arms didn't, you know, dangle. So many different, my arms dangle. I'm talking about like your arm, you know, like arm fat, like the, what do they call it? It's your tricep, you know? And yeah, there's just this like, huge level of shame. And I was looking up the definition of shame and it says, Oxford Dictionary says that shame is the feelings of sadness, embarrassment, and guilt that you have when you know that something you have done is wrong or stupid. And then I looked up guilt and guilt is the unhappy feeling caused by knowing or thinking you have done something wrong. And so there's this idea of wrongness, like that your body, you know, if you have like shame around your body, that your body is wrong. And it's just a bit hard to wrap your mind around sometimes and then, or hard for me to wrap my mind around. And it's also really heartbreaking that so many people are not at peace in their body and they're not able to appreciate this amazing temple and sanctuary that we get to inhabit here that allows us to experience the world and allows us to you know we have our five senses and if we didn't have If we didn't have the body, we wouldn't have the five senses and we wouldn't be able to experience this life the way that we do. And it's just, I find it really sad. So that's why I'm on a mission to get everybody liberated and then therefore naked. One of the things that, going back to shame and guilt, I have defined shame, well, guilt is a thing that often we get Like we feel guilty about something. So, you know, that idea of morals and something being wrong. And then to me, shame is more about like having internalized that guilt where, you know, you're feeling guilty, which like guilt is not bad. You know, I think it's good to have morals and to feel guilty. have compassion and also empathy for other people and situations so that if we do something wrong, like, oh, I'm feeling a bit guilty about that, let me go make it right or check in on them and how can I resolve this situation. But there's this shift that happens, I think, between guilt and shame where shame is... When there's so much guilt that you're no longer feeling it, you become the guilt, and so therefore there is shame that lives in your body. And you're like, I am shame. I have body shame, the whole thing. I am bad. Not what I did was bad and the choice that I made, and then I get to make it right, but I am bad. So you've taken it on completely fully. You're wearing the dress. of shame and so that's where like the distinction between the two for me are and yeah so that that's curious to explore if that's like something you've not really thought about and and having curiosity around like where are you taking on these feelings of shame so that it's like Like, yeah, you're taking it on and have this belief that like, I am bad. My body is bad. And do some liberation work around that. And a part of it is like getting naked and getting comfortable with being naked and being comfortable in your body. And if that sounds like way too crazy for you and like you don't feel comfortable being naked, that's totally fine. You don't have to get naked. Um, I think one of the things that I have, well, not, I think one of the things that I've done with some clients in the past is just looking at yourself in the mirror with clothes on and going inward, closing your eyes, connecting to your body and feeling what it feels like to be in here and then opening your eyes softly and looking in the mirror at just your eyes and like having compassion for this person in front of you. The eyes are the window to the soul. And what has she been through? What has she seen? What has she witnessed? What has she experienced? And just having so much love and compassion for yourself. And then begin to look at your face. And broaden what you're looking at. So eyes, maybe look at the nose. And then look at your eyes. And just notice the different thoughts that come up. And how quick are they to become... words of judgment or self-hatred you know and like wishing things were different about your face and in the way that you look and taking tally and keeping tabs on that and in having curiosity around that and then just like stopping there you know and close close your eyes coming back in and like feeling your body feeling your breath and doing that again and having so much love and compassion for yourself and not making the thoughts wrong or right necessarily we do that a lot we make our thoughts wrong and right and put a lot of judgment on them but like what if they just are you know they are a way for us to see where we're at and if it's not where we want to be then that's really great information for us to know and Like, what if you just let those thoughts be? And then what if you move your body and were able to release some different things that feel tension and stuck and tight in there? What if you were to have compassion and send love to that part of your body? What if you were to ask, you know, what emotions are living there, if any? And just do that exercise in building that relationship with your body and And allowing the quote-unquote bad or negative emotions to be there is a really beautiful experience and exercise. If this is something that has been challenging for you, there is an episode, I'm forgetting the number, but it's about existential kink. And so there's a book that basically talks about, you know, getting into these more negative thoughts that we have instead of, you know, trying to just love and light the shit out of it and like just totally disassociate or deny or resist that those thoughts exist because what you resist persists. And if you're trying to just like slap love and light and slap affirmations on top of it, like it's not going to work because that thought is still there and that is like probably a deep-rooted belief in your body, and the only way to get rid of that is to go into the body and to go into the subconscious mind and really hear that and really love that and really enjoy that self-hatred. It sounds a little backwards, and if you've not heard of that book or heard me talk about it, definitely check out that episode because it'll make a lot more sense than I feel like Maybe it does now. But yeah, I feel like I just wanted to share, like this is going to be a shorter episode, but I just wanted to share a bit of my thoughts on being naked and how it can help liberate you. Because there's this concept that how you do one thing is how you do everything. And the more that I look at that and take notice of the ways that I do different things and explore myself and in a lot of different areas, I can see how true that really is. And so if you're liberated and free and open in one area, then you probably are in a lot of other areas of your life. If you're shameful and like covering up and don't want to be seen or, you know, have, whatever the story is, like there's so many different reasons why somebody might not feel comfortable being naked. But if they're, okay, I'm just going to go on a little side note. There are so many reasons why somebody might not feel comfortable being naked. And there's nothing wrong with not wanting to be naked. Let me just say that. Because But what I do think and what I would hope that people can become curious about is if the reason you're not wanting to be naked is associated and like reeks with shame and like there's a lot of discomfort because of shameful thoughts, that might be something worth looking at. But if it's something that feels like, no, I want to keep myself naked, you know, private and there be like, that's what feels expansive and liberating for me, which this is like a, this is a principle of Tantra, Tantra. If you are new to this whole concept and what is Tantra and curious about that, I have an episode called what is Tantra, but Tantra, In the word tantra, tan means to expand and tra means to liberate. And so you have this like expansive liberation. And what is expansive and liberating to me might not be the same as what's expansive and liberating to you. And so if it feels expansive and liberating to keep yourself to yourself, that's totally fine. maybe you don't need to look at that, you know? But if there is this like shame, you know, I'm wanting to keep myself covered because I'm feeling insecure or I don't know, there's so many different reasons, right? Like I'm feeling insecure. I don't feel comfortable with my body. I don't want other people to look at me, just all these different things. And there's nothing wrong with these things. They just are. And if you're wanting to shift out of it, then that's where the like self-reflection and curiosity gets to come in and making different choices that can become more expansive and liberating for you and your journey and however that looks. So I'm on a mission to get everybody liberated and therefore naked. And that's why I... do things like yoni casting and sensual embodiment practices and that is a clothed experience but there is this like other aspect that women get shamed for which is their sensuality and their sexuality and their body like even with clothes on you know but i am starting to host brunch and boobies I'm going to start doing it once a month on Sundays in the Houston area. And who knows? Eventually, maybe it'll become co-ed and we'll have naked dinner parties. Maybe you'll even join us a night on our temple nights, the play parties down the line, if that feels comfortable to you. There's so many different ways that we can bring this expansiveness to our bodies, our sexuality, and truly... All of what it means to be human. And so that's my spiel. That's my reason for doing this episode. And reason for doing a lot of the things that I do is about releasing shame. And so that we can all just become free and love the skin we're in. And... Yeah, just be so confident and then also to be evidence of that vibrancy and aliveness and bring that and infuse it into the world and into our communities and our families and our friend group and all these different things. So thank you for being here. And I hope that this was educational, informative. at the very least entertaining and I can't wait to see you next time. If you found parts of this podcast interesting, useful, or at the very least entertaining, I hope that you'll share your takeaways and tag me on social media or leave a review and or leave a review. And we appreciate you and we'll see you next time.