Is Church Really Helping You Find Purpose with Trevor Dunbar

Trevor Dunbar shares his transformative journey from firefighter to spiritual mentor, revealing how religion often creates an identity crisis that prevents men from accessing their God-given authority. He illuminates the profound difference between living as servants to religious systems versus sons who walk in intimate communion with the Father.

• The root problem for many men is an identity crisis stemming from shame, guilt, and obligation
• Christianity often functions as a "good cult" that gives 90% truth while filtering in just enough falsehood to keep men powerless
• The kingdom of God is a realm to experience, not just a religion to practice
• Men frequently prioritize provider roles at the expense of emotional and spiritual leadership
• Supernatural encounters in wilderness settings create vulnerability that leads to transformation
• Five keys to effective prayer: position your heart, remove distractions, expect encounters, believe what you hear, take action
• Pride (including false humility) blocks intimacy with God and prevents men from walking in their authority
• Our identity equals our ability - we cannot operate with greater ability than how we see ourselves

Discover your God-given identity and break free from systems that keep you from experiencing true freedom and purpose. Visit trevordunbar.com to learn more and take the seven-day outlier challenge.

Key moments in this episode:

03:31 Trevor's Journey to Faith and Purpose

11:04 The Power of Submission and Fatherhood

16:18 Overcoming Guilt, Shame, and Fear

22:28 The Importance of Relationships and Faith

23:12 Transformative Wilderness Experience

31:12 Keys to Effective Prayer

36:15 The Role of Mentorship

How to reach Trevor:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/trevor.dunbar.77

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kingdomoutlier/

Book: The Good Cult: Discover How Christianity Hijacked Your Purpose, Power, and Passion – And How You Can Take It All Back.

Chapters

• 0:00 Living in Cycles of Doubt
• 9:35 The Identity Crisis of Modern Men
• 18:04 Kingdom vs. Religion
• 26:46 Breaking Free from Guilt and Fear
• 31:19 The Power of Spiritual Authority
• 36:49 Transforming Lives Through Wilderness

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Imagine finding yourself caught in cycles of doubt, disconnection and self-doubt, despite doing everything that you thought you were doing was going to be right.

Speaker 1: 0:09

You go to church, you pray, you follow the rules, and yet something still feels missing. What if the problem isn't really you, but it's with the system itself? What if you've been handed a counterfeit version of the truth that's been stealing away your purpose, your power and your passion? And so, in today's episode, we're going to explore how to break free from these constraints, discover your God-given identity and live boldly, with clarity and with confidence. And so today, we'll uncover what it truly means to step into the freedom and authority you've been created for. And before we get into today's episode, I just wanted to remind you that today is an opportunity for you to live the life you've been created for. And before we get into today's episode, I just wanted to remind you that today is an opportunity for you to live the life you've always wanted to live, and so we're going to have some time today and discuss a wide variety of topics. I'm looking forward to us diving into them.

Speaker 2: 0:59

The average man today is sleepwalking through life, many never reaching their true potential, let alone ever crossing the finish line to living a purposeful life. Yet the hunger still exists, albeit buried amidst his cluttered mind, misguided beliefs and values that no longer serve him. It's time to align yourself for greatness. It's time to become a revolutionary man.

Speaker 1: 1:30

Stay strong, my brother. So welcome everyone to the Revolutionary man Podcast. I'm the founder of the Awakened man Movement and your host, alan DeMonsoul. Before we get started, allow me to ask you a couple of questions. Are you living boldly in your God-given identity, or are you still trapped by systems and expectations that keep you from experiencing true freedom and purpose? And how would your life be different and change if you could confidently hear God's voice, break free from guilt, fear and step fully into your potential? You know, many of us were raised in traditional religious homes, growing to church on Sundays, sunday school and all that, and yet we live out of the remainder of our week often finding ourselves living in a different plan, one that can often lead us to pain, to anxiety and to loss. And so if religion isn't what that answer is for you, then what is the other question? And so today we're going to explore that and we're going to unpack a ton of other stuff, so we don't want you to go away. Go anywhere and pay attention to our new guests. That's coming on today.

Speaker 1: 2:33

Trevor Dunbar is an author, speaker, mentor and co-founder of the Outlier brand. He inspires pioneers, creators, entrepreneurs, free thinkers and leaders to discover who they are and what they're capable of. He's a dedicated husband and father of five. Trevor lives in Austin, texas, with his wife, bridget, and his youngest son, maverick love that name and retired firefighter and businessman with three decades of experience, he's committed to uniting and equipping the global movement of truth seekers and bold leaders to embrace their God-given identity and realize their full potential. So welcome to the show today, trevor. How are things, my friend?

Speaker 3: 3:09

Thanks, alan. It's an honor to be here. Things are great. Things are great Juggling, juggling, it all.

Speaker 1: 3:15

Yeah, there we go. I was, as we were getting on here you're talking about. You're both. We're both busy. Right, you were traveling today and we're trying to get ourselves set up today, but it seems like we're always on a journey, are we not? And so my opening question for all of my guests is to talk about their hero's quest. So tell us about that time in your life, that burning bush experience, and how did that experience shape you into the man you are today and the work that you're doing? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3: 3:41

So I guess, to keep it short, I did not grow up in the church, but I found God when I was about 24, and about five years into that I just was finding myself forward. I was a firefighter lieutenant, I owned a small construction company, I was a leader in my church, had the perfect picture family, everything but it just I wasn't experiencing in my life what I was reading about in scripture, and so I really was wrestling with God. Through that process I felt like the Lord had given me some vision for, ironically, some of the things we're doing today. But in that I left the fire department, sold my business, moved across the country and shortly after that I had literally a burning bush experience where we were going to Israel. We were getting ready to meet the prime minister and some leaders in Israel, and so we had dedicated a 24 hour period that we were going to go to a cabin in the North Georgia mountains to pray. And we get to the cabin and, as we go in, not thinking anything unusual, toss my bags down in the room and I noticed a couple of walking sticks leaning up my bags down in the room and I noticed a couple walking sticks leaning up against the corner of the room and don't think much of it. Head back upstairs and we've got some worship music playing and some we're getting ready to take communion, a bottle of wine, and I I really felt like the lord said go down and grab one of those sticks.

Speaker 3: 5:02

And I still, at this period of my life, was not very confident in whether I was hearing the Lord's voice or not, but I didn't know why I would have that random thought. And so I went downstairs and grabbed the stick and then I just asked what would you like me to do with this? Felt like he said we're all supposed to hold onto it, my friend. And so I came upstairs and told the guy. I said hey, I don't know for sure, but I feel like the Lord's asking us to hold on to this stick while we pray. And so we all grabbed a hold of the stick and as soon as all four of our hands hit that thing, the fire in the fireplace went and it's full burning fire.

Speaker 3: 5:37

And at that exact moment, my friend Gary, his phone went off and I got a text message from a woman who'd been praying for us and she said the Lord says to expect angelic visitation today.

Speaker 3: 5:48

And we just felt this holy moment where we took our shoes off like we're on holy ground and we just felt the weight of the Lord, and that fire burned for about 10 minutes and it really it came as a confirmation that some things the Lord had been speaking to me about my purpose and my calling the things that he had called me to, to some things the Lord had been speaking to me about my purpose and my calling the things that he had called me to, and so not only was it a confirmation, but it was a commissioning and it was the thing that I had been searching for, which was the power of the kingdom. I've been trying to tap into this realm that I read about but just had never yet experienced up until that point. That opened the door to countless experiences since then that have really revealed the supernatural power of the kingdom that I believe most men are either consciously or subconsciously searching for, and it's this power that we were born for that most are not living in.

Speaker 1: 6:37

Man, I just love that story. Trevor, I just sit there just making a ton of notes. As I said to you, I would First off. I'm just blown away at the transformation. Living something Let me hallucinate a little bit Was being a firefighter like your boyhood dream.

Speaker 3: 6:53

No, I actually wanted to be a Navy SEAL and I was on my way to the recruiter when I was 18. Got pulled over doing 35 over and that was my ticket. So I disqualified myself, never made my, never made it to the recruiter and I my dad was a cop. He introduced me to the firefighters and my life took a radical turn. But that's how I ended up there really cool, man, really cool.

Speaker 1: 7:18

I'm glad that you also explained that story, because it's, it seems and you made a comment there you talked about you weren't very confident in hearing god's voice, and yet these moments and these things are happening for you. The fourth ticket leads you to doing firefighting, which then leads you to starting on another journey in another place, to ultimately doing what you're doing today, and I just think it's just so powerful that for many of us I'm including myself in that where we do tend to struggle on trusting that voice, and why do you think that is?

Speaker 3: 7:50

I think, ultimately because we have an identity crisis. I think that the biggest root of our problem as men is that we don't really know who we are. We do know, but then all the voices of shame, guilt and obligation oftentimes given to us through the church, through religion, through youth or education, through the family unit, it's not, church isn't the only system that has broken us down. There are many systems that have controlled us and have altered our identity, and so I think that when we don't trust ourselves to believe that we are capable of hearing God, we lack that soul level certainty, and that causes us to shrink back, which keeps us from exercising the dominion that we were created.

Speaker 1: 8:36

Man that makes so much sense to me. I would completely agree with you. There is an identity crisis and there's many different reasons why that's occurring. You've named a few there, and I'd also add to that that I think it's also because where we have where you also mentioned earlier on that we're searching and yet we don't really realize what we're searching for. You know we're looking for that connection to God. So tell me a little bit about how, what your interpretation of is you've gone on your journey the difference between between what you found, between Christianity as a religion and the kingdom of God is. You've been describing it so far.

Speaker 3: 9:10

Yeah, I had a revelation in prayer one day that the kingdom of God is a realm, not a religion, and I began to really unpack that. In fact, I felt like the Lord told me that Christianity is the good cult and I pushed back on that and I'm like how could it be the good cult? Because Christianity is supposed to be the way to Jesus, all the different things. But then when I really unpacked it, the truth is we were created for relationship with the Father and then that communion was broken in the garden, but then Jesus came back and restored it and through the power of the Holy Spirit, that dunamis power that was given to us, we have access now, full access, to embody the authority that Christ has delegated to us. And so we were born into a system that makes Christianity synonymous with being a follower of Jesus.

Speaker 3: 10:04

And it's very difficult even to have this intellectually honest conversation with most people, because most people love their religion and I would suggest there's even maybe a spirit of religion tied to that at some level. There's a lot of pride that comes in with religion. Religion is kind of a funny thing, like pride, it'll tell you too good and not good enough, all on the same day, and I think what I've just really realized is that there's a difference between living as a son and living as a servant. And when we're in a religion, we're ultimately serving a system, and when we are in sonship, we're actually walking in communion with our father and we're embracing the identity that he's bestowed on us to be able to live out the dominion that we were created for love that I love.

Speaker 1: 10:47

I just made that note. Living as a son versus living as a servant, I think, is what you said and I think about that, that relationship that we have with father, and I think about your relationship as a father.

Speaker 3: 10:59

So tell me how those mirror and how you show up in life yeah, it's interesting, I actually, in the good coal, I wrote a chapter called the father. I was the father I'm becoming, and because my first four children, who are now young adults, I love God, I love them, I love my wife, but I failed to provide the emotional and spiritual leadership that they needed because I was so focused on being a provider and so I threw all of my efforts into creating that financial legacy, and for most people it doesn't come as easily as it appears when you talk yourself into hustling and grinding for three years for the sake of the family and then we'll just coast the rest of our life. At least, for me, that two or three years never actually turned out and so I really neglected. But what I realized is that now I have a newborn and I've gone through a healing and a transformation process and I now have a better reflection of who the father is, which allows me to be more of a father, a heart connected father, and so I think that how we see our fathers is oftentimes how we see the father.

Speaker 3: 12:07

So my father was very emotionally disconnected. His father was a veteran of three wars World War II, korea and Vietnam Seldom around raising my dad, so my dad had no ability to connect emotion, he was insecure. He was a great man, honest, all the themes, but he didn't teach me how to be an emotionally connected son. So I think when I've gone through that healing process now I've recognized, oh, the father has raised me in a way, has brought spiritual maturity. That's recognized that, hey, we're not really created for hustle and grind, we're created for revelation, communion, relationship.

Speaker 3: 12:42

You never saw Jesus in a hurry, he wasn't stressed, he wasn't working 24 hour nights. When Lazarus died, he wasn't stressed about it. He took four days to get there and this was his good friend. And I think there's a way we can step back and embrace that role of father and ask ourselves how do we really see God as father, versus as the dictator, or versus as this all powerful being that? Why would he let bad things happen to good people? All these questions that people wrestle with? I think when we understand sonship, we start to get better, a better understanding of what that actually looks like in real life.

Speaker 1: 13:25

I completely agree with that and I there is so much. So everything you just said is just a huge truth bomb there, because it is totally how our relationship with our father reflects on the relationship that we become as fathers and it's so important as men. And your story resonates deeply with me because that's how I was in my 20s, focused on my career and on my business, and it also mean it did cost me my family and my marriage and a bunch of other stuff, and it took. It took almost another 20 years to get back on track, to really come back to seeking and being in communion with God on a regular basis, and so I think for many of us, this is our hero's journey. It is the journey of falling away, thinking we've got a few things figured out, I'm going to be the provider, and then recognizing that it's only one part of the answer, and it's do we have the guts to go get the rest of that answer? And you're a testament to that. So I appreciate you coming on.

Speaker 3: 14:23

Yeah, it's one of those I often ask the question. It's a controversial question. It stirs up the religious people. What if Christianity was the greatest deception played against humanity since the Garden of Eden? Because if identity is truly what gives us our power and we can put a religion, a system and a structure in place that gives us 90% truth, that just filters in the 10% that keeps us becoming powerful, we become like.

Speaker 3: 14:52

Jordan Peterson says that a harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very dangerous man who keeps it under voluntary control. See, we were, I believe, created to be dangerous and to keep that under voluntary control. There's the lion and the lamb, and religion has been something that has almost castrated us to some degree and is, as taught us how to be nice guys, a good guy and all that.

Speaker 3: 15:14

And I just I think that there's a sense of morality that we're called to for sure, and there's also, I believe, we have to have a pure heart to be able to see god, but we have to have a savage mind to be able to advance the kingdom. And if you have too much savage mind without a pure heart, you become one kingdom, and if you have too much savage mind without a pure heart, you become one of the wolves. If you have too much of a pure heart with no savage mind, you become one of the sheep, and what we're supposed to be is a sheep dog in the kingdom, and I think just very few have captured that revelation.

Speaker 1: 15:42

Oh, great way to put that together. Great way. I just love that. How can you know? Obviously, on this journey for us as men, we're going to come across some different emotions, emotions like guilt and shame and especially of fear. We did a series this summer with my group on the book Seven Messengers of Fear from Dennis Merritt Jones and I got to tell you it was. We dealt a lot with our, with guilt and shame, as two of those, of two of those fears. Tell me a little bit about what you've found, about how people can and how yourself have overcome feeling these not that they don't ever exist anymore. What are some things you've been doing to overcome guilt, shame and fear For me, I just when I really.

Speaker 3: 16:22

It's been a long journey of unpacking and a lot of failure and trials and questioning God, but when I really came to embrace the fact that we're living in an unseen realm on a daily basis and we have to address those issues in that realm with authority before we can expect things in our natural life to change. And so when we're dealing with fear, shame, guilt, anxiety, confusion these all have a spiritual root to them and we oftentimes allow these spiritual roots to take hold in our life unknowingly. And CS Lewis in the Screwtape Letters talked a little bit about the wows of the devil and how he keeps humans ultimately just dumb and happy in the corner praying to a hypothetical God. I think that when we can see that we have an actual enemy named Satan he's a fallen angel, he's jealous of our communion with the Father, he's jealous of what he'll never have again. He's at war with us because he hates God we get to then step into a place of getting the revelation of our actual authority.

Speaker 3: 17:25

When you read through scripture, there's the seven sons of Sceva and they went and they tried to cast out this demon. And they're like hey, listen, I know Paul and I know Jesus, but who are you? And they ended up taking him to the mat. I think there are people that can operate to a degree of authority because we've been given dominion, who may or may not be in direct communion with the Father, but for the most most part, true spiritual authority has to come through humility and submission to jesus christ, through communion with the father.

Speaker 3: 17:54

Jesus only did what he saw the father doing so when I have the mind of christ, the heart of the father and the power of the spirit, the power of the spirit. If I come into every situation say lord, let the spirit, let your spirit fall upon me, a spirit of wisdom and understanding, counsel, might, knowledge, fear the Lord, and then I can take that spiritual authority of position and I can come against fear, I can come against anxiety, I can come against confusion, and what happens is your field. Things physically break off of you and this is what a lot of our men in the retreats private coaching experience. Because it's not that you have to work hard or hustle to give this, it's a free gift, but you have to be submitted with humility and you have to have somebody who understands and walks in the authority of the spirit to be able to bring that.

Speaker 1: 18:39

Well, that's a big word you're bringing up there, and that's submission, and for many men, you know that's alone that word brings fear and anxiety on us, because we may interpret that meaning well then I'm becoming weak. However, the ability to be able to submit to something that's much greater than we are is actually a show of strength, because that's when we can start to lead ourselves. And so let's talk a little bit about your work that you're doing with men. Let's talk about the outlier community and everything you've got going on there. Tell us a little bit about it.

Speaker 3: 19:14

Yeah, first, just even on going back to Moses and the burning bush, here's a man who was known as the meekest man on earth and he actually did have some fear and some insecurities about being powerful, but when he came into full submission to the father, he brought a message to Pharaoh that it's unparalleled Right, and so there's a lot of power in submission that we forget sometimes. But yeah, as far as men, it's just been a passion. I, for probably a decade, have been leading men either on wilderness retreats, one-on-one mentoring, coaching. I prefer mentoring. It's a little bit more of a fathering. It's not just about knocking down targets and goals in your business. While those things are important, they need to be weaved in, but it's about really understanding a healed process and transforming. So I work with men one-on-one in small groups and in retreats.

Speaker 3: 20:01

My wife and I have launched the outlier brand together and our mission with that really is to connect specifically with the younger generation, millennials, gen Z, who just have been disillusioned by religion. They're looking for truth, but they're not really finding any leaders that they're resonating with, and so we have a framework there. It's basically a lifestyle brand. It's a for-profit organization. We've got apparel resources, outpost groups where we teach people just to have fellowship and community that accesses the power of God in a natural way in their life, on their terms. And then we're actually launching what's called the Revealing Tour, so we're taking it from city to city and we're doing pop-up events where we get to reveal the kingdom of God to people in a way that maybe they've never experienced before.

Speaker 3: 20:47

And for me, although I have experienced the kingdom in and around church, it's not where I've been called to, so my passion is to work with people who would never step foot in a church, who maybe even would have skepticism about religion, and have an honest conversation about what they really want in their life and introduce them to the Father. My wife has a ton of education psychology degree master's and she's been a licensed marriage and family therapist for over a decade, so together we created a coaching framework called the Breakthrough Blueprint, and so that's something we also offer, not just in our one-on-one mentoring, but also in my book, the Outlier or the Law of Ability. I talk about that. That as well. We're weaving all this conversation in, and it ultimately comes down to the conversation of identity and relationships with self, god and others. I think that all the answers we're looking for in life are about our identity and about our relationship with ourself, with God and with others, and if we can tackle those four pillars, we just walk in the freedom that God designs.

Speaker 1: 21:50

You know, I was just making a note there. I think that is so important. What we're focused on our work here with our band of brothers, our group mentoring program is the year 2025, is about living with integrity, and we take them through a process, a self-assessment tool that gets them an opportunity to figure out what part of their life are they living out of integrity and similar to what you're talking about. It's not so much about okay, we're going to hit a certain goal, although that's part of it. It's really about how are we identifying ourselves and how are we showing up in all different aspects of our life, because very few times do we as men do we even spend time thinking about that. We're usually in provider mode and then, when we have to, we fall into protector. We don't get into really the relationship aspect with ourselves and with our family.

Speaker 1: 22:36

And so I love the work that you and your wife are doing in taking it on the road now, because I think it's important and I see that today, the message of God and the message of Christ is coming forward in so many wonderful ways outside of a traditional church and pew environment, and I think that's what's so powerful. I think that's why more and more men are starting to open up to why. Hey, I want to hear a little bit more about what you have to say about that, trevor Allen. I want to hear a little bit more what you have to say about that because it. I want to hear a little bit more what you have to say about that because it's it is in a different environment and you're walking it. And the next question I have for you is how do you not only just demonstrate that, but how do you take someone who is struggling in life today and trying to wrestle and they're wrestling with their identity to be able to walk with more authority and dominion so they can transform their life?

Speaker 3: 23:27

authority and dominion so they can transform their life. I think every circumstance is unique, but I'll just tell I guess tell one story that will. That, I think, shows one way that it can happen. First, you talk about, oftentimes we focus on the wrong thing. We look at it as identity, health, wealth and relationships. Those are the. Those are the four things that we have to deal with. Health, wealth and relationships are typically what people will pay for. Identity is the answer to make all of them good, right. So nobody will pay for identity, but they'll pay for a problem in their health, a problem in their wealth or a problem in their.

Speaker 3: 23:59

So I took a group of men high-powered executives, ceos, very wealthy, successful men out into the Bob Marshall wilderness a few years ago in Montana, and it was rugged terrain. 11 miles back we took some pack horses for supplies, but most of the guys hiked in and this particular man knew that he was supposed to go, so he signed up go in. He was going slower. I held back to the back of the pack with him, talked, built some relationship, didn't know him before the retreat and we got out there. I took people through a process like I typically do and when they came back after some time reflecting and praying, I put this man in the hot seat for prayer and he was sitting up against a tree up at the campfire and I just was speaking over him and I laid my hand on him and I just said something about the fire of God fall on you. And when I did that, boom, an explosion went off. It was dynamite. And we're back in the bob marshall wilderness at 11 miles right, and so we're all there's seven or eight of us there and I'm like we're all like what just happened? And it turns out the forest service was blasting trail about a mile down the trail, but it just so happened. When I said fire of heaven, boom, that explosion went off. And, as Dunamis, you know, when Jesus ascended he said I'm going to give you power, which is Dunamis, which is where the word dynamite comes from. And so there's this power that we've just been talking about Dunamis, power in this group, right. All that to say, fast forward six months and I learned about some of these things throughout the process.

Speaker 3: 25:36

But I ended up having a follow-up interview with this man. He had actually had internal packing for a month, or what's the deal? Everybody else had one backpack, he had his backpack and then he had a full another pack on one of the horses. Well, it turns out he had medical supplies to manage his bleeding while he was on the trip wow, and he knew that he wasn't going to be able to go unless he had that. But he really felt like god was going to bring him healing on this trip. Turns out, after that prayer, his body was healed of the internal bleeding never came back six months later and it never came back.

Speaker 3: 26:18

But this is even the bigger part of that is that he said that what actually he felt like was a bigger healing in him than the physical aspect was emotional has a better father, a better husband. He was seeing equations in his business that were allowing him to be able to increase profits with less work. There was like an internal shift and transformation that had happened that allowed him to see the father in eyes that he'd never seen him. He was more raised around religion. He knew the Bible, he had all the scriptures. He was a theologian, he studied, but he hadn't experienced the love of the father. He had all the scriptures, he was a theologian, he studied, but he hadn't experienced the love of the Father. He hadn't experienced the power of the Spirit just through a humble experience out in the wood, and so that's one example of how that's what he needed Now.

Speaker 3: 27:05

That created a ripple effect amongst all the men in the group, because everybody's watching this happen. There's tears, not a dry eye around the campfire. It's amazing how a tough, strong, rich man becomes so vulnerable when you stick him out in the middle of the wilderness. We've all got guns strapped to our chest. There's grizzly bears and wolves and mountain lions, and so I think, when we get out of our environment whether it's in the wilderness, whether it's in a home, whether it's on a prayer walk, whether it's choosing to hire a mentor or a coach to come alongside you, I think that when we choose to get uncomfortable and get vulnerable, it gives us the opportunity to address some of those heart issues that the father wants to deal with All right Goosebumps just listening to that story.

Speaker 1: 27:48

That's unbelievable, my friend, and it's so true. When you get out of ourselves get ourselves, I should say, out of our natural environment things that we're used to, things where we're able to, we may have more comfortable coming up with the answers, but putting in ourselves in a position, do that knowing full well what his condition is, and then for you guys to have that experience. I could only imagine the dynamic of the group at that time and the camaraderie that must have just occurred with that entire scenario. So that's truly a powerful story.

Speaker 3: 28:27

And I think those stories at least in my experience, they're available to all of us every day as we walk in that, and I think that one of the big we talked about an identity crisis earlier. I think that one of the biggest issues that we're facing is there's an ego getting in the way of recognizing who I am in christ and so it as a culture. We often will ask people hey, what, what do you do? What do you do? And what they're meaning? What they're asking you is who are you? Yeah, what they're actually asking you is what's your identity? I'm a firefighter, I'm a engineer, I'm an entrepreneur, I'm a analyst, whatever it might. I'm an artist, I'm a creator, I'm a musician, I'm an athlete.

Speaker 3: 29:10

What they're asking you is an identity question. We're answering it the wrong way, and so if men could reframe the way that they answered that question is when people ask me what I do, as I say as little as possible, I'm a father, because I'm shifting the neural pathways in my mind to put more value on being a father that walks in authority of the spirit than on the hustle and grind. Yeah, I can hustle and grind. I've been doing it for 30 years, but the lord's telling you hey, hustle and grind is not my way and it's not my best for your life. Yes, there are a lot of them who have created great wealth through hustle and grind, but they've also paid a high price, yeah, on their health, on their relationships, on their mental stability. And I think that if we can embrace the identity question who am I, where am I, what do I want and why do I want it? Those four questions are going to lead you to making different decisions that are going to open up an entire universe. If you're ready, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 30:10

And then listening to you tell that, I think about the way to the kingdom is through faith and works, not meeting the hustle and grind, but being able to be open and understanding that, walking in the way Christ said that he was the way. So are we living our lives in accordance to how he lives and how he would have lived? And I think that's the disconnect we have for humanity today is that we just don't have that guiding light. And I think the more that we come to this and we find and we have that guiding light, then things will start to change. And I already see stuff's happening now and we're starting to evolve. It was just pretty dark time there a few years back that I wasn't sure which way this world was going to turn, but I have much more hope for where we are today.

Speaker 3: 30:53

There's an awakening. I think that's a man. I had wrestled for years with how to hear the Lord's voice.

Speaker 3: 31:00

Now he trained me in different ways or I've got a whole story going back 25 years of how I learned to become confident. But I remember years ago I asked the Lord. I'm like, hey, how do I know I'm hearing your voice? And I really believe he gave me a framework that I teach people that might even be helpful to the listeners. Just, I call it five keys to effective prayer Position your heart, remove distractions, expect encounters, believe what you hear and take action. And if we come to God with a pure heart and we are looking for direction, connection or correction, but we're open for whatever the Father wants to give us and we let our ego get out of the way and then we remove distractions, whatever that might look like for you it might be taking an hour in the morning.

Speaker 3: 31:49

I like to get up at 4 am Typically. Sometimes I'm up earlier. It's like the quiet time in the morning to be able. I like late night walks. I love being in the hot tub. There's just certain things that for me, if I need to disconnect, I'll go take a hot shower, I'll put myself somewhere that there's no distraction.

Speaker 3: 32:05

Then expect encounters. I've got to believe God's going to show up. I'm either going to think something, feel something, know something, smell something or see something. Something feel something, know something, smell something or see something Through one of my senses. I have to believe that God is going to communicate with me because he loves me as a son. And if I have that expectation, then when I expect those encounters and I get them now, alan I have to believe what I heard. And this is where the identity issue comes in. This is where most men fail. I think God said, but I don't know for sure. Therefore, I won't act Now if you don't believe, you won't act. The fifth step is the key to everything, which is action. You have to take action, and I believe that scripture says it's impossible to please God without faith If you're not taking action on what you think he told you if you put all those things in place, you can trust your hearing God, because he's not a confusing God, he's not a mean tyrant.

Speaker 3: 32:58

And so if we're coming with a humble heart, removing distractions, expecting encounters, we can believe and we can take action. And a lot of men feel disconnected from God, I would argue, because they didn't believe what they heard last time and they didn't take action. And you're. You have clients. If you have a client that doesn't do what you tell them to do for a period of time, I'll fire clients like hey, you're paying me to get your results but you're not actually doing what I'm telling me to do, which means you're wasting your money and I'm wasting my time. Yeah, there's an action that has to be taken. A friend, you give a friend good counsel and they choose to ignore it time and time again. At some point you stop giving counsel. So there's a lot of men there saying God doesn't talk to me, what I'd say, what was the last thing he said to you? And have you done it yet?

Speaker 1: 33:54

revelation, right, Some that burning bush moment in order, that it needs to be that profound, but it can come through a friend's voice, through our spouse, through lots of different means. And if we're, the other thing I think about is am I open and willing and able to receive it? Because I think God always gives us what we want, but are we able to accept it and receive it? And that's a big challenge for many of us.

Speaker 3: 34:14

Yeah, I think that's where humility, there's one of the things I talked about briefly, just because it's not talked about outside of religious circles but there's a, there's an unseen realm. So, even dealing with principalities and spirits like Leviathan and Jezebel Leviathan being the father of pride there are deeply rooted principalities of pride that are taking place on the spiritual level. We're not dealing with those things. Pride's a sneaky devil, just like religion. It'll tell you you're too good and not good enough on the same day, depending on where your mindset, and so pride keeps us from intimacy with the father. Pride keeps us from interestingly, false humility is rooted in pride. So when people act, when they know that they're powerful, that's actually pride that's doing that, and so we've just twisted things up in a way. There's so much confusion taking place and I think we just have to step back and recognize that mental health is a major issue in our world today, especially among men, especially middle-aged men, right, and I think that if we could just slow down, get out of the shame, guilt and obligation, recognize our position as a son to the father, learn to operate in the power and authority of the spirit, it shifts and then get a band of brothers around you because nothing happens in the back. I don't think that God operates very long or very well outside of community and fellowship.

Speaker 3: 35:33

There's a reason, koinonia when we read through scripture, it's important to go back to the greek on some of these things and people will argue about translations. I'm like listen, I don't care which translation you read, they're all translated from the greek and the hebrew. Let's go back to the root. Ask the spirit of god to reveal to you what is koinonia, what's agape, what's dunamis, what's apocalypses? When we talk about the apocalypse, it's the revealing. God was to reveal. His kingdom on earth is, and we've turned it into the zombie apocalypse. You know, let's what if we were to? What if we were to pull the veil back a little bit and just get intellectually honest with what's actually going on in the unseen realm?

Speaker 1: 36:10

beautiful brother, just beautiful. I always say in our work here that we need that. There are three different stages of mentorship. We cover the first stages we come in, we're looking for mentors, so that's part of joining a group. Then in the second stage is we have, we're looking for peers to come with us on that, so we're being mentored, being mentored together. And the last stage is that we need to have mentees. We need to find that other person that we can help mentee. And my question to you is that I'm sure through your course of your life that you've had that mentor that has guided you. So what was the been, what it's been the best piece of advice you've ever been given? How is it still serving you today?

Speaker 3: 36:51

I had a mentor, a spiritual mentor, for 14 years before I passed away of the cancer, and I think that's I think it's less about the one piece of advice and more about the manner in which he responded to my question, responded to my question, and so whenever I would ask him for advice or ask him for counsel or I was wrestling with something, he would always, in a storytelling way, reference scripture. Paul said it like this, david said it like this, so he would relate what I was going through with, something that was happening with somebody in scripture, and how they navigated the uncertainties, how they dealt with their sin and their shame, how they brought it before the Lord, how they saw in part and not fully, how they. King David danced with joy and irreverence, according to everybody else, including his wife, that the Lord was pleased with it. So I think that for me it was just about making it relatable, and also I personally have found very few, if any, mentors who understood the spiritual realm and understood the business, family life realm, and so I've had to piece things together.

Speaker 3: 38:13

But what I would encourage anybody to think about when they are looking for a mentor is to find someone who isn't just hyper spiritual and doesn't understand the practical applications of life, because there is a place of dominion where we have to. We're creators, we're co-creators with god, yes, and if we're not creating, we're actually not living into the expansion he's created us for now the flip side. If we're not creating, we're actually not living into the expansion he's created us for Now the flip side. If we're just about creating and we're forgetting about the supernatural realm, being able to see what the Father's doing, how to partner with him, we're missing opportunities to see the supernatural happen in and around us, not because we're not capable, but because we're not tuned in yeah, beautiful.

Speaker 1: 38:54

What a great way to summarize that, Trevor. We've talked about quite a bit of stuff here today, but not all over the place. But if there was a central theme or one thing you would really like our listeners to take away from this conversation, what would that be?

Speaker 3: 39:09

I think that the very simple equation that I've come up with for years. I've read the Lord. What's the simplicity of the gospel? If I could just summarize the gospel, what would that be? And I think that if we just understand that our identity equals our ability and we can live our lives in such a way to uncover and reveal our truest identity, according to the way God sees us, it will unlock our ability to be great husbands, be great businessmen, to be great community leaders, to be great fulfilling fathers. We can't operate with greater ability than how we see ourselves.

Speaker 3: 39:55

I remember Jesus asked Peter who do they say that? And he's like they say you're this, and some say this, and some say that. And he's like who do you say? This is an identity question. Because Jesus was asking the identity question. But, peter, who do you say that? Because what you're about to do, I'm going to establish my church, my ecclesia, not the church we know it as, but the called out ones. I'm going to establish this called out group of people on the back of who you believe I am. And he said you're. You're the son of god. And he said surely you've seen that this was given to you through revelation? I think that the only way we can understand our identity is through revelation. So you can try, you can hustle, you can grind, you can hire all the coaches you want, until you put yourself in an environment to really get honest and have a revelation not only of the kingdom but who you are.

Speaker 1: 40:55

And have a revelation not only of the kingdom but who you are, you will always leave that potential on the table Makes complete sense, man Trevor, what a great way to wrap up our conversation today. I just want to say thank you so much, my friend, for joining us and helping us really understand how we can discover our God-given identity and so we can walk in our authority. And so if men are interested in getting ahold of you and participating in your work, what's the best way for them to do that?

Speaker 3: 41:18

My website is the easiest trevordunbarcom that runs links to everything else. I've got a seven day outlier challenge that you can take. That just starts opening the conversation around. Who am I? Where am I? What do I want? Why? How do I navigate the life that I've been called to and that I'd like to create?

Speaker 1: 41:35

Right on. I'm going to have that as well as anywhere you are on social media, as well as a link to your book, the Good Cult, to discover how Christianity hijacked your purpose, power and passion and how you can take it all back. And so thank you once again, my friend, for being on the show. I loved our conversation today.

Speaker 3: 41:50

Thanks, alan, it's been a pleasure.

Speaker 2: 41:59

Thank you for listening to the revolutionary man podcast. Are you ready to own your destiny, to become more of the man you were destined to be? Join the brotherhood that is the awakened man man at theawakendmannet and start forging a new destiny today.