Reiki and Trusting the Process with Reiki Women Podcast

In this episode of the Reiki Women Podcast, Carrie Varela is joined by Bronwen Logan and Michaela Daystar to discuss the concept of 'trusting the process' through the lens of a Reiki practice. 

They explore how to navigate uncertainties and unknown outcomes, the importance of sitting with discomfort, and trusting in one's body and intuition during creative cycles, transformation, and stressful events. 

Michaela shares insights on being a 'process person' and the challenges it presents, especially in business, while emphasizing the support Reiki provides in tolerating uncertainty. 

Bronwen reflects on the ongoing aspect of the process as part of life, emphasizing the importance of not limiting oneself and trusting in the support system Reiki provides. 

Carrie shares her journey of learning to sit with discomfort and the role of intuition in trusting the process. 

The discussion touches on the significance of mindset, the journey of healing and transformation, and how the system of Reiki supports individuals in navigating life's challenges and embracing the process, even when faced with uncertainties.

00:00 Welcome to the Reiki Women Podcast
01:03 Exploring Trust in the Process with Michaela
05:41 Bronwen's Take on Process and Outcome
12:49 Carrie Reflects on Trusting the Process
19:30 Deep Dive into Personal Stories and Insights
34:08 Wrapping Up: Embracing the Process

Transcript

0:06

Hello and welcome to the Reiki Women Podcast. My name is Keri Varela. I'm with the Reiki Healing Society and today my lovely colleagues and I are going to be talking about a topic that's trusting the process. So before we get into it, I just want to mention we have the lovely Bronwen Logan over here from Reiki with Bronwen and we have Michaela Daystar with Heartscapes Reiki. And yeah, we wanted to talk about, you know, how do we, um, navigate uncertainty and unknowns, unknown outcomes, um, using the system of Reiki, how do we sit with, um, you know, not necessarily knowing how things will turn out, but learning how to trust our body or intuition, um, and trusting ourselves in the process through a creative cycle, through transformation, uh, and through a stressful event. So I'd love to turn it over to you, Michaela. What do you think about trusting the process? How does that work in your life? Yeah, this is one of those really like broad Juicy topics that can go in so many directions and you know partly because it's a it's a phrase that we hear often, right? It's a cliche trust the process You know, and there's a there's an idea out there that there are people who are more process people and And there are people who are more outcome people, like more focused on the end result and who tend to rush through the process to get to the end. And there's people who, you know, prefer to be in the messy middle of the process and, uh, care less about the outcome. And, you know, I think with, with many things that kind of sets up a duality that is, you know, not necessarily useful because anytime we're in, Endeavoring to do anything or we find ourselves in any kind of experience. Um, there is a process and there's an outcome and that outcome might be momentary might be fleeting. It might be just one step on the journey to the next part of the process. Um, but there's always this. Um, this kind of cycle of, of being in the messy middle of some process and then realizing some outcome and then stepping into process again. And so I think we can all really benefit from, you know, at the very least having an understanding of what our relationship is to those two things. Um, and, you know, how we can. be in more healthy, balanced relationship with those aspects of life so that we can make the most of those experiences. I do tend to be a process person. I tend to be less focused on outcomes, which can be really challenging as a business person trying to set goals and achieve them. But there, you know, the benefit of that is that I would say in general, I often do trust being in that messy place and not necessarily having to know what the outcome is going to be. Even still, uncertainty. is one of the biggest challenges to trusting any particular process, especially when there's high stakes on the other end and where that outcome really matters to us. Um, if we're having a health experience, a health crisis and we, you know, on the other side of that process is some, uh, outcome of, of better health, less pain, more wellness. or perhaps the opposite. There can be a lot of, um, pain and fear associated with that uncertainty. And unfortunately, fear, um, does exacerbate physical pain, right? It does exacerbate distraction. It exacerbates, um, you know, mental fuzziness and, and emotional, uh, you know, fluctuations in ways that don't really serve us. And so just, you know, kind of, you know, looking at that landscape of, you know, what is our relationship to process and outcome? And then of course, in this conversation, how can the system of Reiki support us in being in that good, right relationship? And, you know, for me, I often talk about the way that my Reiki practice helps me feel like there's more room inside of me to be with whatever I'm feeling or experiencing. And in this case, that absolutely applies, right? Because there's more, There's more softness. Um, there's more flexibility around uncertainty and around, you know, being inside of, of a process that, you know, I, I may have some control over, or I may have very little control over, um, but either way, it's a journey. It's a liminal space that I need to travel through. Um, and so Reiki has absolutely been incredibly supportive in, um, being able to kind of tolerate more uncertainty than I could before. There certainly gets to be a point where, uh, you know, stress and frustration can come in, of course. Um, but having more of a range of ability to be with uncertainty has, has absolutely been, um, has been an outcome of being in. The process of being in the system of Reiki. Um, and there are many examples that, that come to mind and I'll probably circle back to some of them, um, as we go through, but I'd love to hear Bronwen, what comes up for you just as an initial, um, initial set of thoughts when we think about process. Well, you've got my mind thinking, well, looking at myself here, and I think what happened to my hair today, and, um, the process of, uh, the outcome would be that I would have a lovely hairdo every day of my life, right? And but, uh, and the process is that I attempt to model it, do something, get it cut. I don't know, throw product in it, uh, do things to my hair. But it doesn't always come out great and um, today I'm not particularly happy with that, but that is just the outcome that it is. And I guess that's sort of. It was interesting what you were saying, you know, like about process and outcome for me, the outcome is part of the process. Uh, because I think process is just an ongoing aspect of life and that we, that we can never really, we can never know exactly what we're going to achieve. We can certainly, um, set ourselves up for success. And I think that's, that's, That could be considered part of a process. Um, Uh, you know, I always say, we've talked about this before, you know, if you're doing a Reiki treatment and you start off the Reiki treatment and what you tell your client prior to that treatment and how you set that client up is going to, lead to a certain outcome for that person. And that's going to be because largely because of how you set it up. So you're going to make them feel safe. Um, so they can let go, you know, uh, you're going to tell them that you're not going to diagnose or, um, uh, Yeah, for me, I'm not going to diagnose the, so they're not going to at the end go, so, you know, what did you think, what, you know, am I going to die or whatever, you know, so it's just a, we, I'm setting them up for a situation where they're going to feel relaxed and, um, uh, get a, have a great experience, no matter what happens, the process actually, of the treatment itself, you know, they might go through a whole bunch of stuff and it might be weird and it might be even uncomfortable, you know. Um, but if they know that they're, uh, that you've set it up well, um, then that's going to, going to help them move through that and, uh, get to where they need to be at that particular time at the end. So, uh, the process continues, which brings me to another thought. Um, the idea, the Japanese idea of form and no form. So form is like the process, right? And form is like when we do a practice and then no form is the reverberations of that practice. And, um, It's like nothing ever ends. We're always doing or sitting in something and, and, and that is our, that is our way of being. And, uh, yeah, I think knowing that that is life and knowing that there's not like a point. I think. We should teach children this, that there's not a point where you get to a point and that's it, because that never really happens. And it's a bit like the princess stories, like, you know, happily ever after. Well, that's not the end, you know, that's where, that's the part of, I'm not even going to say it's the beginning, cause it's not even that. It is just a part of the whole process of life and experience that we go through. And, you know, we could think of this life as being form. And then when we die, that can be no form, you know, it's the reverberation of us after we die into the rest of, um, everything in whatever way. I don't know what happens after we die, but I know that when we die, we still remain in other people's thoughts and feelings and the energy of that is, continues, yes? So Yeah, do you know, we need to definitely trust the process, we need to know that, uh, that it is just this, this movable thing that the more that we trust it, the more that we can be, uh, the more that we can relax and actually be a part of life. I read an article once called, um, Beginner's luck, something about beginner's luck anyway. And I really loved this article because it, it expressed to me, you know, everyone, you know, when they shoot that arrow for the first time and they get the bullseye and it's like, how did that happen? Like they haven't done the practice and they're not this or that or whatever, but it's simply because they're not holding onto any of the crap that we hold onto and they just, do it. Yeah. They just allow it to happen without knowing all the terrible things that could happen or go wrong. Or so they're just giving over to it and letting it happen. And for me, that is the perfect process. It's just being in that flow. And I would not be able to do that. Well, I don't do that all the time. I definitely, you know, that is something that I'm working at, but I, I feel like the support for me in that is the system of Reiki. And, uh, we were just saying before we started, I was like, you know, if, if I didn't have that, I don't know how I would. have what support I would have within myself to be able to let go and relax and know that whatever the process is, that is the process, whatever is happening, that's what it is, you know, um, and to just really, um, sit back into that. So, without the system of Reiki, I wouldn't have the faith in myself to be able to do that. Uh, and that is a true blessing. And I think it comes down to the Reiki precepts, but also the experience of, um, sitting in the practices. And when you sit in a practice and you experience the sitting in the practice, uh, there is a, um, there is a letting go that happens and a, Because you're letting go into the practice, right? So you're not holding on. If you're holding on, you can't experience the practice. So it's a letting go of yourself to allow whatever needs to happen to happen. And that can be a little frightening. Um, but to know that. myself, my wisdom and my compassion that is innate in me, that that is always there to support me. I love, I feel like I'm, I have always learned so much from you, um, both of you, but um, as we've been like hearing you guys talk, I realized I think I'm an outcome person. I think I'm there. I don't like the process so much. Really positive outcome that I'm hopeful for. Um, So, uh, you know, a lot of that as I had to learn how to sit with discomfort, it's how to sit with the process and I think some part of the. You know, trusting the process is knowing that the process ultimately is going to teach you what you need to learn in order to achieve your desired outcome. And that's really been my journey with, um, you know, trusting the process. And I, I think I, um, and I love that perspective on the beginner's luck too, because, um, I think actually sometimes the first thing we, first time we do something, it really does set the tone for our experience of something. And then if, you know, if we shoot a bullseye the first time, more than likely going to be like, Oh, my, well, I might have some talent here to be able to do this well. And so I can, you know, and it encourages you to keep going and keep practicing and maybe even gives you this innate sense of confidence. But if, you know, the first time you do something, uh, you miss fully, Well, you might feel like, I don't have any natural talent here, so I'm not going to, you know, keep trying at something. But really, the reality is that everything we do, and you know, in Reiki, in the world, in our career, and, and anything requires us to kind of create a process for ourselves. And I know for my business, I've really developed this process built around the five elements in nature and use them through, you know, the different stages of any process. And so, um, recently I taught a Reiki training, so actually last weekend I taught a Reiki course. And, um, And this particular one kind of came together. I had one earlier in the year and then after that, uh, Reiki training came and went, I had a bunch of people reach out and there was actually a bunch of people who were interested in the course, but couldn't make it work. And so I kind of know the process of delivering a Reiki training at this point is, you know, there's a group of people interested. And when I have a large enough group, I can usually anticipate that one or two or a few are of that group are going to sign up and then maybe there will be more natural people kind of come together for the course and, um, and that that it'll just, it'll just be who needs to be there. Um, and, you know, unfortunately, I feel like in the world of, of, of a lot of things is like everything, you know, the. The actual outcome is so, uh, dependent on numbers, which is, is, is really the antithesis of, of the healing work that we're doing within Reiki is it's so much, it's nothing to do with quantitative, it's qualitative, it's really deep into, like, how can I really, support the people who join and have no, no preconceived notion of what success is based on numbers. Because if it's just one person and I get to support that person very deeply in the process, then that's a win. That's an outcome that, you know, I'm there to achieve. Um, you know, I guess there's one caveat with that is, you know, it's challenging, you know, as a business owner. Not always being able to serve people one to one and make that work for you financially. Um, but anyways, in this course, like, that was just kind of the general process. But there's also these kind of critical moments of tension when, when it is coming together. And the, the process of creating something or pulling something together requires you to like really sit in the fire or sit in, um, you know, um, particularly maybe like, you know, the, the challenge of holding space for others, um, why that might be challenging or not challenging in any given moment. Um, and then going through that whole process all the way through to an integration and so in the, in the process of trusting the process is trusting that you will learn whatever it is that you need to learn in the process. And so, um, in the way I've been structuring all of my, um, offerings at the Reiki Healing Society built on this cycle of natures, there's also this integration piece of like coming together after doing something after completing something and really sitting with, um, What went well, like how, how did that work? And how did the process come together? And what did that require of me in order to do that? And how can I really set up my lifestyle or my schedule in particular, like in order to accommodate that? Because sometimes, um, You know, my particular struggle right now is like too many things are like the pressure is on on too many things at once like there's too many fires in the kitchen and then you just can't you don't have the time or energy attention to devote yourself to each fire enough in order to really get it to work. that perfectly cooked steak. So that's some of the things that is coming to me as we think about trusting. But it's also really, what's nice really actually about that is the joy of completion and, and to see like, you know, to see yourself from the beginning of something all the way through to the end and, um, you know, seeing how that face, face muscle gets stretched, but To see how it comes together and really ultimately like celebrate that and, um, and celebrate the things that you win, you know, you gain from that experience, even if it came from, um, you know, being in that discomfort. Yeah. Yeah. I've, um, got a few different like gears going and I'm trying to like knit them together so that they make a nice coherent, um, you know, statement here. So we'll see how I do. You know, when like, you're like, Oh, this, but this, but this, but this, wait, we have to say a thing coherently. So we'll say, Oh, we go. But there's a couple of pieces that, that stood out that threads that I'm pulling on. Um, I think Carrie, you mentioned intuition, uh, in your introduction or at some point and discomfort. And those two things really stood out when I think about process, like, Because where we are in a given process, and then, as you said, Bronwen, like any given outcome is really just part of the larger process of living our life, right? So that, you know, whatever, like, moment of kind of hitting the mountain peak of some outcome, uh, you know, it's just going to reveal the next part of the journey, right? Which is actually a really, um, valuable thing to just, like, we could spend a lot of time in our practice just accepting that, right? That like, that there isn't a happily ever after, right? Like you, you will have happiness and you'll feel like, Oh, outcome achieved. And then like, Oh, and here's some troubles that I get to now walk through as the next part of this process. And so there's going to be discomfort inside of that. And, but, you know, being in relationship with what, where am I in a given process can be really important because it can help us be Um, conscious of the decisions that we make, uh, because, you know, sometimes we can talk about, you know, trusting the process as like, as if we're just completely submitting to something that we have no control over and, you know, letting go and holding outcomes loosely and being unattached to, you know, specific outcomes and specific choices is, is absolutely important. And being in collaboration with the process that we're in is also important, you know, because when we're not, we can fall into despair. We can fall into apathy. We can fall into feeling that we're a victim and we're just being subjected to by all of these processes that we have no control over. And oh, I can't do anything about it. Right? And so finding this place of balance between, um, partnering with the process that we're in without trying to. excessively control it because we cannot control the flow of life. Um, allowing, you know, being able to be in discomfort enough that we can be in the rocky parts of the process, um, you know, without collapsing in on ourself is incredibly important. And then being in relationship with our intuition so that we can have a better sense of kind of how we're moving through that process. Um, and I was There was an example that was coming up that I'm going to try to make sense of here, but it just, it feels really present when you first, uh, when we first started talking about this, um, topic, um, and that was an experience that I had when I was, Um, the outcome of which culminated when I was 14, uh, which was a long protracted illness. It was a mysterious illness that, um, revealed itself at a certain point. And then I, it was about a year and a half or maybe up to two years before it was diagnosed. And it was essentially a, a, a cyst in my liver. A gallbladder, um, had swollen up to the point where it was interfering with the functioning of the, of the liver and the detoxing system in my body. Um, but for, you know, like I said, almost two years, they, they couldn't diagnose it and we're trying to treat it as hepatitis and like all of these other things that were completely ineffective. And, you know, the, the outcome of that was I just felt completely subjected to this process that was entirely out of my control. You know, I, I think the authorities could not tell me what the problem was. I couldn't do anything to make the problem better. And I was just getting sicker and sicker and sicker and sicker. And I missed almost about half of my sophomore year of high school because I was just out. I was just sick. Um, and at a certain point they did diagnose it correctly and discovered that, you know, there was a simple but dangerous remedy, which was an emergency surgery to remove this thing, which was about this big at that point. Um, and. You know, when I think about, you know, the, the state of being in this, this state of feeling like I was being subjected to a process I had no control over, the sickness that we didn't know what it was, versus the process of going into an incredibly dangerous surgery is about a 10 hour surgery, um, immediately, like without much prepping or mental preparation or, you know, even really understanding, you know, what, what exactly was going to happen to me. Um, but the feeling of empowerment that I had, once there was. a process that I could understand. Oh, there's a thing that needs to be removed from my body and they're going to do that. And then there's going to be a long healing process after that. And I remember just the immediate emotional shift of like, knowing that there was a direction, like having a point on the compass that I could follow. Um, even though it was, I was following it into the unknown, right. And into a very dangerous situation. Um, I was excited about it. And when I got to the other side of it, I remember it's like, you know, you have core memories, like just these memories that are like foundational to who you are, one of them is waking up from the anesthesia, incredible pain from the surgery, you know, just more pain than I'd ever experienced. but not sick. And I remember the sensation of incredible pain, but not sick. And it felt amazing. It was like this relief, even though it was more pain than I'd ever felt before. And you know, going into the process of healing from that surgery, um, felt like being, being reborn. And it felt like my intuition was, was, you know, telling me how to work with that. And, and like that the discomfort of that long healing process was totally tolerable because of my mindset about what was happening versus the illness that was intolerable. I was so depressed. I was so like, you know, just emotionally a wreck because I, Had no empowerment inside of it, you know, and, and I didn't know where to go. I was just like floating in this no man's land, right? And so, you know, there's this thing around and it feels like maybe this is a topic we can dive into in another conversation, but the difference between. Like, uh, uh, a discomfort that is, um, avoidable and the intolerable nature of that versus a necessary pain, right? That we can then be inside of, right? But how do you stay in the no man's land when you don't know the way out yet? I didn't have Reiki when I was 14. Uh, I didn't have anything like this. I had late night television. That's what I had. I watched more terrible television that year cause I couldn't sleep at night. So I was just up all night watching terrible television, no cable, no internet, just bad TV in the middle of the night. Um, You know, I, I didn't have what felt like an anchoring point, right? And yet I did, right? Because we all have that anchor inside of ourselves. We all have, we all are Reiki. We all have a center that we can return to, um, and there was an intuitive nature to that, right? To like returning to center, returning to center, even in this no man's land. And then once I had the compass point of like, Oh, We know what the problem is. We have a process to fix it. There's an outcome to that process that then is going to require a lot of things from me. Um, you know, it became much, much easier to be in that process, even though it was incredibly painful. So, I'm not sure I made any actual points in there, but this is just like the experience that was really front of mind when we talked about process. Cause it's like just this juxtaposition of these two, like interlocked, but very different experiences. And so much of that came down to, you know, my own mindset about what was happening, uh, to me in that moment. Um, you know, being sick and being in the surgery were both very dangerous. Right. But the way that I related to them, my mindset was so different around both of them. And, you know, again, as an adult with, with more conscious ability to, to choose how I enter situations, uh, you know, Reiki is there to help me shift that mindset. Um, When I'm feeling that sense of, I don't have control. There's discomfort. I feel constricted. I don't know what the outcome is going to be. I'm confused. Um, you know, what do we have when we're in that moment where we just, we just aren't going to know the outcome for a while, right? Like we just don't have that information yet. Um, how can we stay centered inside of that? And, uh, you know, a practice like this really. Does wonders, um, for that much, much better than terrible late night, late night television. Uh, Mikayla, you know, you need to start your own like YouTube channel. I know you have a YouTube channel, but one that is just on YouTube, just one that is solely a storytelling one. right? Can't reckon Carrie. So you are good. So, um, yeah, look, I have very little to say, um, great story, um, interesting. And it's true, you know, how do we deal with these things? And, um, I think coming back at the end there towards the word mindset for me is everything. We, we talk about that all the time. And there were two things that came up for me just throughout all of this. And, um, I don't know if they're relevant, but. One was, you know, don't limit yourself because we tend to limit ourselves all the time. And we think, Oh, you know, I can only achieve this or achieve that. Don't worry about that. If we think like that, we will achieve that. Yep. We need to find a way to let go. Like the beginner's luck, just let go. Just really don't try to limit ourselves. It's exciting not to limit ourselves, I think. And also within that mindset, um, we often limit ourselves by thinking that we're not good enough and, um, or not something enough. You know what I mean? Like you could fill that word in with whatever, but once again, that's a limitation to ourselves. And these are the things that the system of Reiki helps us with. So, um, moving beyond, um, yeah, those were just things that came up during people chatting. That's it. Yeah, I think that was a really good story, and I think that's a really good point, Bronwen, too, just, um, not making it personal, you know, not taking it personal, um, but, you know, trusting the process to know that at some point in the process, there might be this hot mess moment, where, you know, it all comes together, and you have to, like, sit with it, and, um, you know, and, uh, you know, what's un, what's You know, I think for me, what I've been really learning is that my intuition doesn't always give me the clearest answer when I'm, you know, in that hot mess moment, right? And, um, so it's like this, the, the moment of really feeling those unique pressures and then pulling myself together, but doing, doing the work so that I can do that in a way that really actually is addressing the root cause. Um, and, um, I just, um. I love that, not, like, not, um, I'm losing my train of thought here, but, um, oops. Can you edit this out? Trust the process, Carrie, trust the process. Carrie, you gotta trust the process of losing the train and then hiking for a while and then jumping a boxcar. you helped me find it. It's to believe in yourself from the beginning. And to really trust yourself and trust the offering and trust that, you know, the, that, uh, what you have to offer is exactly this is, is a beautiful, valuable thing for people, whether people take it or not. I mean, this is kind of the world of marketing and sales and things like that. It doesn't matter, you know, but it's still that, that, that offering was still beautiful, vibrant, alive. Um, and in, in the health process too, I think like just. You know, we're, we're all not going to get it out of this alive, just the way it is. And there are moments in our life where our health becomes a key, important part. Um, it reminds us of how important it is. And it's in those moments we, we do have to sit with the unknown. We do have to sit with not feeling good. And. Um, it's great to have the practice of Reiki to work with ourselves in those moments because our mindset is so incredibly important, but it's also this compassion piece to just be able to sit with that discomfort in. Um, maybe sometimes it just doesn't go away because It's, it's there to, you know, it's going to be there until the cyst comes out. It's going to be there. Or like, you know, the pain after a surgery is the pain that's there, but like, you can work with that pain because you know, it's going to heal, you know, you're on the other side of a healing process and that's just like a totally, you're in a different phase of that healing process. So I just get how challenging it is like for somebody who has cancer, for somebody who's dealing with. The ultimate unknown of life, like, it's the hardest, it's one of the hardest things to sit with, but, um, you know, Reiki helps, humor helps, maybe even a little late night television, but I don't think that even exists anymore, because it doesn't, but, It's called Netflix. Friendship. There's some terrible shows on at one in the morning somewhere. Don't worry, you too can find terrible midnight television. Well, to all of our lovely listeners, uh, we hope that there are some little gems in there. How are you trusting your process? Do you even know what your process is in the, in the first place? Uh, have you been able to see through your own process? Um, in order to create self trust and self knowledge, um, in that in the midst of, you know, your creative endeavors, your, um, perhaps you're a Reiki business owner, maybe you have other things on your plate that, you know, you just know, and you found a rhythm with the process. So we would love to hear from you about how Reiki supported you in that, how Reiki held you in the process. Um, and, um, we just want you to know how much we love you. And thank you for so much for being a part of our process because every week we just come together, we come up with a topic and then we just talk about it. And, um, there's always something beautiful and wise and, um, it comes, comes out. So thank you so much for listening to our podcast and we look forward to talking with you on a future episode down the road. Bye.