Double AA club Podcast
WE give our opinions on trending topics, interesting news, lifestyle, sports, athletes, transgender, culture, race, any topic we talk about it.
Double AA club Podcast
EP:144 The Double A Club: Real Talk with James Haynes
Staten Island's James Haynes shares his remarkable journey from wrestling fan to reality TV contestant to cooking competitor, demonstrating resilience through personal and natural disasters. His story reveals how passion for cooking and positive mental techniques helped him navigate Hurricane Sandy's devastation and compete successfully in national competitions.
• Meeting through the independent wrestling circuit where James was an avid fan
• Competing on "We Are Family" game show after a two-year selection process
• Reaching top five in James Beard Foundation cooking competition against 25,000 contestants
• Learning cooking from diverse family heritage and 13 years at Applebee's
• Surviving Hurricane Sandy despite losing everything
• Co-hosting "Jagroons Lair Podcast" discussing pop culture
• Christina Talios explaining her sobriety journey through the 12 steps
Check out Christina Talios for therapy services on Headway, Psychology Today, or ZocDoc by searching T-A-L-L-E-O-S.
You are listening to the Double A Club and this is your host, ny Boom, and my co-host, big Daz. We'll be talking about trending topics and healthcare and basically, just as a disclaimer to just let the listeners know that this is just basically on our opinions and speculations and I hope you guys enjoy the show. Let's start off and kick off with our first topic. Hello, hello everyone. This is NYC Boom, coming from the Double A Club podcast, and I'm here joined with a special guest, james Haynes.
Speaker 2:Introduce yourself, james. Hey, how about how you doing? My name is James Haynes. I'm in Staten Island, new York. I've known Alba for many years and everything. I'm glad to be here, thank you for inviting me.
Speaker 1:That's very good. So we met each other Through wrestling At first, when I was an independent wrestler and I was part of the Incredible, most amazing Independent tag teams In independent history Latin Revolution, oh yes, and you was a fan Myself, my nephew.
Speaker 2:We used to come to the shows, we used to cheer you on.
Speaker 1:And and was there anything, anything from from our introductions, our meetings and, you know, from you watching our, our entertainment, part of the shows. Was there anything that just like you know, like, caught your eye or maybe motivated you or anything like that?
Speaker 2:Well, I'm going to tell you this in all honesty All of you guys in the independent wrestling, I tip my hat to you. As always, I give you a lot of respect because you put in blood, sweat, tears, you put in mad hours and everything. A lot of guys don't Half the time what do they get? Popcorn and peanuts and maybe a soda and everything. But you guys put in your souls and you gave it to the fans. And that's what I always enjoyed going to see all these shows and it was even better than going to WWE back then and TNA or Ring of Honor and everything. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. I appreciated you guys, the moves you guys did. It's like he just did that and it's like wow.
Speaker 1:It's funny that you mention that because it is completely different. I try to explain to certain people that the independent circuit is a completely different type of atmosphere compared to you going to one of those big chains Nothing to take away from WWE, tna, ring of Honor, all those places. They have their successes, but the independent circuit is just a much more intimate atmosphere.
Speaker 2:It's like it's more, it's more involved exactly, and it's it's hard work pays off.
Speaker 1:A lot of times I've stayed with a lot of you guys yeah, so yeah, well, you know, hard work does pay off, you know, and um, and definitely I mean mean from the independent side it's extremely hard for us because we have to train, we have to work. The rest isn't part of our full-time job, unlike some of these bigger organizations that that's all they do.
Speaker 2:No, you got to make a paycheck another way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I wanted to talk about. You was in a cooking contest, right?
Speaker 2:This is the second contest in two years. Second thing, I competed in a two-year period. Yeah, one was cooking and one I was on TV with about 100 other people. I'll get to that even after it was called we Are Family, which is on Hulu. I'll get to it even after which called we are family, which is on Hulu, and if you're whoever your cable provider is on Fox on demand and everything. That was an amazing process too.
Speaker 1:So looking, I just let's first talk about the. We are family, because that was first right yeah yeah, so let's, let's go through a timeline sin. So we are family. Tell me a little bit about that show.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and I'll tell you this. It took about two years for me to get to, in September of 2023. For me to go to Atlanta. It took a two year process, plenty of interviews, plenty of emails to wait, waiting process on that, because I want to make sure everybody was everybody was cleared, clarified, this one wasn't a fraud, this one wasn't on another show and we can't use him and everything. I went through a long process, about three interviews and, as one of the interviews said, life changing. That's what it was. Because I had to go to Atlanta.
Speaker 2:I met a lot of people from all across the country, from heat, from, in all, 49 out of the 50 states I didn't get no one from alaska and from port, one from puerto rico, beautiful young lady there and everything. And we all stood there for two, three, about two weeks, did 10 episodes and everything in a hotel. It was almost like a camp, but we got to go to Atlanta, got to see the sights and everything and it just after that, we all became a great family and all, and it was an amazing and life-changing event for me because I got to see people. I got to see celebrities that I've never seen, I've never met before in front of me. I got to meet Joe McHale, thor Thorne, anthony Anderson, his mother, doris, who was right next to me. You could always see on the shows and everything I always said. Everybody says you know, we could find you on the show. You're like a fly in a glass of milk, but I had a lot of fun, so this was a reality show or something like that.
Speaker 1:It was a game show. It was a game show. So what was the plot of the game show?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. The plot of the game show was in a sphere was a celebrity Now there's celebrity, someone that the celebrity knows came out and they sung a song. They gave you clues on the sphere, picture out a um, like it was a piano. Reeves was one. They had a comedy stage for nikki glazer was on one episode. Um, they had a black unicorn for tiffany haddish and they they showed you who they were and you had to figure out the clues. Then they had the person In the second time saying With their Excuse me, with their partner, and a lot of times afterwards You'd be like you see more clues and everything. You'd see TV show clues and everything and it's like okay, I know who this person is. Put it in when they're ready to reveal it's. It was Joe McHale who hosted two episodes. They had Cam Newton there as one of them, as one of the episodes, and everything. And they even had um, like Jay Farrell who's doing the show with the Bulls now the quiz with the Bulls. He was there and they were a lot of fun. They interact with all the people there before they go with the taping and everything, and you get a lot of like, wait a minute, oh, that's why I didn't get it, because they had a pepper up there and it was dealing with that and you're thinking it was like salt or even Spinderella and it was pepper. But I give you all these clues and everything. You gotta watch it. I tell people you gotta watch the episodes now. Now, I got you intrigued, but it was a lot of fun. We got to all interact. We still talk during the shows and I talked to a couple of production assistants and everything who are really great people Down the line.
Speaker 2:A lot of us are like, hey, this is coming up, this is coming up. You want to start, you want to be an extra in this? I got a guy that's an extra in Superman. It's going to be the next Superman movie. I got someone that's going to be in the next Penguin series that's doing it. That they it's going to be the next penguin series that's doing it, and they're that's doing that. They're taping now on max. So everybody's doing something and everything.
Speaker 2:I had two guys on there that that are game, that are game show. Uh, pros, they were both on wheel of fortune. One was on who wants to be a millionaire? What reed just got? Rest his soul and, um, even even he was in the audience on.
Speaker 2:The Price is Right, but it's really life-changing. And I was one of 100 people that was originally picked and then there was a total of us of about 116 total contestants and I'll tell you this Life-changing and all and you always got to say people will be like I didn't do too good and says do too good, whether you made a dollar or you made fifty thousand dollars. You made the show out of 25 000 contestants that competed online, went on Zoom meetings between producers, production assistants, agents, hosts and everything they want to see. Are you a good fit? So, and that's how I got a little bit of my competitive streak, started going a little bit more and everything getting into, some more interviews with some other like there was a Hollywood Squares, but I'd wait. For they told me, yeah, we'll get back to you, and I'd be like okay and all, but that was part of the first start of this and everything. Life changed and it's amazing.
Speaker 1:That is amazing and it sounds like it's a difficult process to try to get on. Like, if you want to try to get on a reality show or something like that, it's a difficult process.
Speaker 2:They look at you. You get put under a microscope. People don't understand you get put under a microscope and they want to make sure you're this person and everything. This is you. This is the person that they want to make sure you're this person and everything. This is you. This is the person that they want on the show. They show you to all these the big wigs and everything with the studios and they're like, okay, we want this guy, Okay, we want this young lady. All right, we want those two people there and everything. And it's amazing, it's amazing. So I'm very pleased and proud that I, that I did that show and I'll have no and I have no regrets.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, so, so with the. Now with the cooking show, and I'm guessing that we are family help show. Helped you try to to to get into the cooking show in a way.
Speaker 2:It motivated me to do something else. I found we Are Family online, a game show online. It got to be we Are Family. Then I seen an ad on Instagram Would you like to be on the magazine with Carla Hall? And I love Carla Hall, from the Halloween baking, the holiday baking, spring baking, summer baking and everything. I've watched her on Top Chef and I've always known she's very impressive. She'll take a pound cake and she'll make that into a wedding cake. She'll take pork and beans and make that into a five-star dish. She's very impressive with her cooking skills and I was honored to be like all right, I'm going to try for this.
Speaker 2:Then I get the emails Okay, you've been picked. Now it's your job to tell everybody to keep you in the race. And it started with $1,000, about $25,000 there too. And it started with a thousand about twenty five thousand there too. And then I they send me okay, this is what, this is what you're with. You're in this group because they had home cooks, they had social media and professional cook sounds like what they did, even on a Next level chef for this season. They they Gordon Ramsay Group them like that before he put them on the show. So they did that because I had another gentleman that I know from Staten Island.
Speaker 2:He's a professional. He was asking people to vote for him too. So we both had votes every other day with certain people like I'm going to vote for you today and vote for him tomorrow. Vote for you today, vote for him tomorrow. Oh, and everything, and some people because it was the James Be for you today and vote for him tomorrow. Vote for you today, vote for him tomorrow. Oh, and I get and everything, and some people because it was the james beard foundation, which is a great foundation for kids of any of any, any background, any health issue, any, any, any men, if you have, you're having mental problems. This is one thing and you love to cook, this is one. You go to James Beard. They're helping people, stabilize them and get them to cook. They get them to restaurants. They get them help opportunities. James Beard is no joke. You hear people like James Beard award winning chef, james Beard award winning restaurant. That's an amazing feat and everything people are like, who, everything people are cool, changing. Then you find out that why and it's a true honor and everything on it and I was honored that this foundation pick me.
Speaker 2:And then they asked me listen, can you keep it, can you keep yourself going this competition? And I did. I just kept posting and asking people in between all my social medias and all and everything, even a couple of my friends' podcasts that I do on it and everything, and it worked. It worked. I got to the top five. It was a tough battle and everything. And I look at it and I'm like I got to the top five Win, lose or draw. I got to the top five Win or lose, win, lose or draw. I got to the top five. I appreciate where I got. I'm not looking at my thought crap, I didn't make it and then throwing stuff around and throwing tantrums and being upset and putting myself in the show no, I put my head up high and everybody could ask How'd you do so? Top five? I said at a twenty five. I said out of 25,000?. He said yes, and I was very pleased and honored, honored.
Speaker 1:So the first phase is a voting phase, right, so you? And as they're cutting down people, right? What's the next phase after the voting?
Speaker 2:After all the voting phases. The next phase after the voting. After all the voting phases. The next phase is from what I from the last phase, from that top five, if you made number one, everybody was put into a one more one more voting and everything. And carla also had a little hand on picking on that because she picked people to come and show their skills. So, and that's not too bad, that's not too bad at all. You can't deny anything on that. Amazing.
Speaker 1:So did you have to show your skills I showed.
Speaker 2:I had a. I showed they want to know what your culinary skills were. So I had taken some pictures of things I prepped. Some nice wings I made for a party. I made some mushrooms I took from stuffed mushrooms that we had gotten from one of the stores and how I prepped that up. Some mushrooms I took from stuffed mushrooms that we'd gotten from uh one of the stores, from one of the stores, and how I prepped that up uh different way and so and I sent them these pictures and then what I made and they're like okay, and they were impressed with it and all and I explained the process and all on what I did and everything. I had just had these even on my phone and everything just because I was sending to a couple of friends of mine because we swapped back and forth stuff and this was like you got to give that in, you got to make sure when you do, you got to give it in and I did and it got me to that starting point.
Speaker 1:Wow. And then you made it to the top five Top five in my area, in my category, and in the top five in your category. What did? What was it that? What's the reason why you didn't become top three or the one? What was it that? What was the drawback? The?
Speaker 2:drawback was if they had, if number one had 500,000 voters, number three had 250 and I maybe had 240 or even 225. That's the only one pinnacle, the only little problem. But you know what, though, it's okay, it's okay and everything. I'm still like. You know, as I tell people, I just kept pulling. I'm like, okay, I gave these people this week, I gotta get these people again. And then I'm pulling out another group, then I pulled out another group, then I would pull out another and another, and I'm like, okay, I gotta pull out all the big guns now. I'm like, okay, I got to pull out all the big guns, I'm pulling out all the battleships and the warships, that's it. So go get the, go get the Nick Fury helicarries. They're coming, and I can tell your friends, tell you, tell you, tell your friends, tell your neighbors, tell your even, tell your enemies, and everything.
Speaker 1:I'm following the dream.
Speaker 2:I'm going with it. Thank you, dusty, on that one. Yeah, that's good, that's good, that's been always. I hear that in my ear too. On that one, get a dream, follow it and keep going, and that's all I kept doing. It's a life change.
Speaker 2:Like I said, everything's been life changing lately and I feel good and everything, and this has been something to keep my mind at ease and all, because even through this, I've had, like my dad's been up, my dad had to go for a procedure. He's in rehab now and everything. But it kept all of us at ease. Like you got to vote this week, yeah, you got to do this, yeah, you got to do this, yeah, and everything. And it kept at ease, and it kept everybody at ease and everything. How's it going? He's like alright, did you vote? Yep, yep, yep, I voted this one, this one, and he's sitting there and he's relaxing and all and everything through rehab and everything, and now he's getting a lot better. He's at at least 85, 92%. That's great. Oh, yeah, 92%. Oh yeah, tomorrow we have a bike run for and he goes.
Speaker 1:I'll be there 2 o'clock and I'm like yes, so how did like, with everything going on and you doing the competitions and everything, and then you know the mental, I mean the health care with your father and everything how did you keep your cool?
Speaker 3:How did you?
Speaker 1:not just like blow up and just.
Speaker 2:I had a lot of friends. I had a lot of family, both personal family, immediate family and people that I call family and everything I call my friends. Yourself you know that, and everybody's been like how you doing, how's everything going, how's pop and all and and like, and they ask about the contest, asking talking about other things. Like you go you watching this on TV, are you watching this? And it kept everybody at ease and it kept me at ease and everything, and plus the play and plus, when I really want to get pissed off, I just put on Madden and I just beat the crap out of somebody. That's all NBA 2K21, be like alright, colby. How many are we scoring today?
Speaker 1:Alright cool, so you let it out in the games.
Speaker 2:Alright cool, gotcha, that's how you got gotta vent it out like that and everything and your support systems always work. Plus, even I got the cat who's like. She knows when I'm sitting. You know people say cats, pets, don't know anything. Dogs, cats, birds, little mice, they, they know Little hamsters, everything. They know what's going on with you. She'd be like and then she'd cuddle up against me. She knew. She knew when her daddy needed her and everything was always there and that's always one thing. That's one thing with it. I've gone through a lot before this. That's one thing with it. I've gone through a lot before this. I went through a lot Between Sandy and a lot of going through. I went through two. I can tell people I went through two the COVID. It wasn't that bad and everything. I was fine. I went through Sandy. I lost a lot. I lost everything.
Speaker 1:Hurricane Sandy.
Speaker 2:Oh, that super storm from hell was awful. I lost everything. Hurricanes. Oh that super storm from hell was awful, I survived it.
Speaker 1:Explain how did that? How did you get through that? I mean, there's still a lot of people still trying to recover from that.
Speaker 2:I had it, like you said, the support system I had you guys. I had one thing that always kept real. I had you guys. I had one thing that always kept through and I had this even with my grandmother when she was about 20 plus years ago. She was sick before she passed away. I had Jim Ross and Jerry the King in my head screaming all the good stuff, watch Stone Cold. They got doing this. I had King in my head screaming all the good stuff, watch Stone Cold. He got doing this. I had them in my. You have that good vibes in your head. You have the good music you're like in your head. You know you can get through this. So you've got this. You know what to put on. If you got to put on a video, a game, a movie to help you through it, it works. Wrestling works, movies works, sports work and cooking all that works. Not making like 20 000 pounds of ziti and then trying to eat it all in five minutes, but yeah, but you learn as you go through. You learn and it helps.
Speaker 1:So you've been cooking for a majority of your life. How did you get started with cooking and how did you really learn cooking to a chef level? Because basically I mean, like you get in top five in this contest, that's like chef level type of of cooking I learned from my family.
Speaker 2:I learned from my grandmother's, my grandmother's, my both. Both are everybody. I'm, I'm like, I'll say it, I'm honored, I'm a mutt, I'm a mixed breed. I have I have between Irish, italian or stream Polish, and all that and, in English, welsh in me. And it all comes through through that, through my parents and my grandparents, my great grandmother, with us all showing what, showing.
Speaker 2:Okay, you put this in the meatball, you put this here and everything, and then teaching them it's like wait a minute, you're making the meat look good. No, no, no, no. And everything. And then teaching them it's like wait a minute, you're making the meatloaf fit. No, no, no, no. You gotta do it with this one, because you know everybody says how do you say it? Sauce or gravy. No, you say sauce, gravy's the stuff you put on the meatloaf and the meat at the holiday dinners and your Sunday dinners. And I learned and I told even my. I said no, no, you don't put the tomato sauce or ketchup on the meatloaf. This is how you do it. You put it in as an ingredient and all.
Speaker 2:And I've learned even during the years. Okay, to develop my own skills and taste. I've worked apple piecing. I did that for about 13 years. I opened it but I worked my way into the kitchen and I learned. And I learned good, decent knife skills and everything. And I learned how to cook the meat perfectly and everything Make sure you're not sending out raw meat how to cook a good quesadilla, even quesadillas frying, and all the right times, not putting anything down. Oh yeah, put the musk down for five minutes. Then you see, two minutes later it's like how long did you put them down for? I told you two minutes. It's all exploded in. It's a bit, but I learned and I developed all and everything and I took stuff to notches that I still stuff to up to notches that I still cut. I still learn to tend to use today, whether making something with chicken, something with meat, poultry, something with um with the vegetables, pasta and everything. And I have I've enjoyed it very much and everything.
Speaker 2:And everybody asks me it's a good sip, what do you use? I say use this, use this, don't over salt it, don't over put this spice and all that. And even I had and I tell people I had to give up soda. I don't mind that, I have enough. Plenty of water, teas and everything else. Plus, you take the little good squirt from Crystal Light. You get that little squirt, put that in the water, that's fine. It's sugar free, that's a good thing.
Speaker 2:But I had to give up a lot of the. I've learned through it, I've analyzed it and everything. The high marbled beef and all that. You got to give up with the fat and all. It gets a juice and you know it'll, it gels up in your system, in your kidneys, and it's like no, that won't. Doctor said you got to give that up a bit and certainly if you vegetables, you have to like people like you have to give up spinach. This is no, you take it in smaller increments and that's fine. The doctor's like I had this much. He said well, that's fine, you could do that, just don't have it heavy. So I'm like perfect and all. And you learn with spices, certain spices that tell you what pepper, this and all that. You've got to be very careful with calcium and everything and I've learned the increments. Very careful with calcium and everything and I've learned the increments and it's helped out a lot, a lot better lifestyle, Even with the cooking.
Speaker 1:So are you currently working?
Speaker 2:for a restaurant or something like that. No, anything I do with cooking, I do one. Aside from I cook for my wife, I cook for a family event, friends, self-catering, basically, even on that, when it's needed to, if I'm needed on that, don't have my own catering site and all. But if people need stuff, they want stuff and everything. I'm like, okay, what do you got, what do you need and everything. Okay, boom, there's your bill, that's it, you know. Unless it's something for, unless it's for a not-for-profit, and I'm like no, don't worry about it, get out of here and I tell them so, with your, with your exposure, with we are family and this cooking contest show that you you've done.
Speaker 1:What's next for you? What are you planning on doing? Or are you just not planning anything and just seeing how it rolls down?
Speaker 2:Basically, it's, as they say, the world's your oyster. And right now, with everything that's been the every life changing event, I have to see what else is going on. I have to see what's next in line for me, what's next in line for I have to see what's next in line for me, what's next in line for James Haynes, what's next in line for for Haynes clan, what's next in line for any of us and everything, and then I just go from there so you're not considering acting or anything, because I know you did mention that a couple people you know are going to do extra work or some stuff I would have certain types of movies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I that a couple people you know are going to do extra work or some stuff.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't mind it if anything. If anybody came in and told me, hey, I got a spot in with SAG and everything, you want to get in, I'd be like, sure, I got an extra spot you want to get in and everything, I'd be like, okay, sure, you just got to tell me the dates and all and we work with it, with my work schedule and everything. So because this way I don't lose a day, I don't lose pay, I don't lose my job and everything, but I got everything all in good hands and good taste Good.
Speaker 1:Cool yeah. So you're basically just gonna see what, what comes with it. You know, I'm saying, or maybe something pops up and you're like I want to take this challenge now.
Speaker 2:So yeah, yeah and everything, and like, like I say, I speak to a lot of the family from the. We are family, we all still speak, we and everything, at least, everything, at least once a day. We'll all see how everybody's doing, who's doing what and everything, and somebody will put up hey, this is coming up, this is from what game show network like a new game show or the game show that they have ongoing is going to make new episodes. Or ABC has got their game show, nbc and all that. Somebody doing Survivor? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Do you want to do DL and ODL? And I'm like no, no, I respect all those people and all and everything, but I'll take the no deal from me.
Speaker 1:I like the audience. Currently, you're working on a podcast with a friend of yours, right?
Speaker 2:I do and, if you don't mind, it's called the yeah, it's called the Jagroons Lair Podcast. It's on Spotify, apple Podcasts, itunes, iheart and Amazon right now. So if anybody's got a chance, they can listen in to us. We just did I was a little under the weather they did the season finale.
Speaker 2:We'll talk pop culture. We talked about the acolyte, we talked about the boys. We'll talk about new movies coming out, what we expect to see. We talked about AEW, wwe, we'll talk about comedy. We stay away from the politics and all the BS and all and we just go straight forward to what people want to hear, the good stuff and everything the enjoyable stuff around. And we tell people you have a comment, you just email us at the podcast and everything. At least three to four times we'll tell people this is the website, this is the email. Email is there. We'll take comments. We had some guy complain because he saw something on one of the uh, there was a, there was a youtube video and he complained for something that was up from a topic that was like six months ago and all we're like seriously, you're gonna complain now.
Speaker 1:well, the thing with the video is that no matter how old the stuff is, it's present.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, oh yeah, that's true, that's true on it and everything. And we all got started because we've known each other since college. So it's great, good camaraderie and all and everything. And, like here, good camaraderie, you talk and you enjoy yourself and that's the purest form of entertainment and publicizing and everything with social media, which is good, I like and appreciate.
Speaker 1:I appreciate you, man. Thank you for your time and joining us and talking to us, and how the contest works, how well you did what you had to do. The process of it I mean, I don't think a lot of people know about that. I know, for, for for me, I see a lot of like these reality shows, like I've seen some barbecue show, cooking shows, I'm currently watching some too hot to date or some shit, some dating reality show. And you, just, you know you, sometimes you're like, you know, you see these shows and you're like how do they pick these people? But it's a, it's a like for yours, it was a two-year process, right? So, like, imagine some of these other shows, how long, how much of a process it is. It's not easy to get on these shows, especially since they're giving up all this money anyway.
Speaker 2:I agree. One other thing also, I'll pop on it. Like I said, I went to Atlanta. We had a family friend he does a trivia show on the island. He had Wednesday night trivia at a business. He does a trivia show on the island. He had, like Wednesday night trivia at a bar.
Speaker 2:His business partner got picked for next chef and everything under social media home chefs and he had to go to Ireland. So people, I always thought that next level chef was I'm like what part of Vegas are they in? No, they were in Ireland. He'll film MasterChef in California and everything Fox hasn't filmed there, but Ramsey filmed there and they also filmed Beat Shazam there and the Floor. A couple of people that were on my show were supposed to go there but they couldn't get their visas and I'm like, wait a minute. Okay, this is what we're going to do. We got the alternative we're going to send you Atlanta to be our family, which is great and everything, and we got to meet, and they got to meet some really nice people and all so well, it was a pleasure talking to you bro.
Speaker 2:My man. Let the boom keep going, bro Keep it going.
Speaker 1:All right, bro, check you out, check it.
Speaker 3:So how do I feel sober?
Speaker 1:Yeah, how do you feel, sober?
Speaker 3:So I was saying before I don't wake up, rainbows and butterflies. You know, sometimes I wake saying before I don't wake up, rainbows and butterflies, it's. You know. Sometimes I wake up with negative thoughts or stress about the day and I, I really try to ground myself. I say a gratitude list, I um, I talk to other alcoholics, I um, I pray, I and I try to keep things in the moment. I try to remind myself sometimes I go off the handle. I'm still human, the stuff still goes on. I just have a lot more control over my emotions than I did when I was active. So I feel like a more stable human being. That's good.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I got you and tell me about the 12 steps so a brief summary of the 12 steps steps is that you know, in the first couple of steps you learn that you're powerless over the disease. You kind of learn what the disease is about, that it's a spiritual, physical, a physical, um allergy, so we're addicted to it. Once you put alcohol in your body, you don't know what's going to happen. That's the difference between an alcoholic and a non-alcoholic. It's a mental obsession and a spiritual malady, like there's something missing in inside that you're trying to fill right. Um, so you understand different ways that you're, you were powerless and that your life became unmanageable because of your drinking. You realize that you're not in control. You turn your life over to a power bigger than yourself. And then you start to. In step four, you list, you clean house, you start to list all the things you've been resentful for throughout your life, all the people you've harmed, that have harmed you, how they made you feel. And then you get to the part where you talk about and what was your part in it. And that is transformational because you start to learn, even if you were like abused as a kid, it's not your fault that you know your mom would beat you while you're in the shower, right. But if you wear that trauma as a blanket, as an excuse so that you could beat your kid in the shower, that's your part, right. So I started to see like I'm not always the victim. I have more control over my life than I think and, yes, certain things were not fair. But I don't have to live in the past. I have control over today. And then the fifth step is sharing that with another alcoholic. So I had to open up my deepest, darkest secrets and the dirtiest things I've done with another person, and they know so much about the disease that they're like I did that too. That's how I acted, that's how I thought.
Speaker 3:And then the next few steps is figuring out what your character defects are, trying to turn them over and be a different. You know a better person. And then you, in the eighth step, you make your amends, list the people you've harmed. And then the ninth step is going around to everybody that you've harmed, genuinely asking for forgiveness, but being okay If they don't forgive you, just knowing that you're doing your best to clean up your side of the streets. And then 10, 11, and 12 is basically living every day in the program. You know. 10 is checking yourself every night. Who did? Who did I harm, harm? Was I selfish? Was I manipulative? You know, taking accountability immediately because it's those resentments and that kind of behavior that leads you to want to drink. So checking your emotions and your behaviors every day, and then you know turning it over, prayer, meditation and helping other alcoholics, and that's kind of a program for survival for me.
Speaker 3:And do you still go to the program? Oh, yeah, yeah, I mean, this disease will go on until I die. I'm always going to be an alcoholic. So a lot of people have this misconception that once you stop drinking, that you got the disease. No, the disease is forever. It's like cancer. You could always go into a relapse, right. So right now my alcohol's at bay, it's in remission, but it's contingent upon how many meetings I go to, how connected I am with other alcoholics. If I start falling, there's times where I fall to the side and I don't go to meetings and then I start to get negative thoughts, bad behaviors. The stuff starts to creep up again. Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay. So when you were doing your transformative phase and you know know, identifying your defects and stuff, it's how do you do it? Because it's challenging for us to kind of like look into ourselves and say, yeah, this is what I do, this is what I do wrong. We can easily say everything that we do, great, but to pick out what's wrong, you don't think that's challenging unless you're looking in the mirror and that's.
Speaker 3:This is why I'm a big, big, big, big supporter of alcoholics, anonymous, or any kind of 12-step program. Because, number one, the steps are there for you, laid out. So it's the program shows you how to do it. The big book you read about your disease. You read about how the disease affects you, how you behave. You start to learn what character defects are, and you have a sponsor that did this before you, that shows you what they did, so that you can follow the steps and understand where you're seeing things not correctly. Understand where you're seeing things not correctly and starting to get different perceptions and perspectives on on things that you used to see only one way. You know, a lot of us only see things through one lens. Right, it's. This opens up your lens and you're able to start to see yourself and what happens is like I'll give you an example like, let's say so, my ex ended up cheating on me and that's how we broke up.
Speaker 3:So, when I was doing the immense, the resentment with him, it was like, well, how did he hurt me? Well, he cheated on me. He lied. What did this affect my ego, my pride, my self-esteem? Um, what was my part in it? Well, I, I tortured him. Once I knew he cheated, I took him back and I tortured him. I was, like you know, constantly jealous and possessive. I wouldn't let it go Like. There's always a part that I play. So it wasn't.
Speaker 3:The resentment started to be not about the fact that he cheated, cause it doesn't mean that that doesn't count, because it does. But I can't control that. I can control how I behaved and reacted to it, and that's what I learned with everything. Like I'm only in control of my reaction, my behavior, my response. I can't help how you treat me, but I don't have to treat you the same way. Like you know, when people say, well, he got me so mad, I punched him in the face. No, no, no, no, no, no. You got mad and couldn't control yourself, so you punched him in the face. Nobody makes you do something else.
Speaker 1:So it's kind of learning how to take responsibility for your own shit. Honestly, this it was. This is great. So wonderful talking to you, thank you, and having you speak your truth and your story about this, and I know it's gonna help a lot of people who watch this video and I thank you very much for sharing that. I know it probably was very challenging for you to speak, but we got you here and now you just made yourself stronger thank you.
Speaker 3:well, out of self and into others. If anybody got something out of this, then I've done my job. Yeah, and send me the deets. I'd love to see this and hear it.
Speaker 1:Of course I'll send it to you. Don't worry about that, I'm also going to send you my website.
Speaker 3:So if anybody wants to use a therapist or anything, share your website.
Speaker 1:I'll also put it on the description on the video Tell people, people can catch you.
Speaker 3:Very good. Thank you so much. Oh, it's hold on. I'm at Headway, but you would have to look me up. Christina Talios T like Tom a ll e os, keep that shit. What do I do? Put it in the chat?
Speaker 1:Well, no you could tell Tom say, and you can send it to me and I'll put it on the description of the video, but you could tell people where they can get you right now.
Speaker 3:Okay, so they can find me on Headway or on Psychology Today, and now I'm also on ZocDoc. So, Christina Talios T-A-L-L-E-O-S.
Speaker 1:Nice, nice, nice, nice, nice. And then you send me the information and I'll put it in the description of the videos, each video, because there's going to be several videos of this. Okay, so everyone can catch, catch double a club podcast on Spotify, amazon music and I heart and any other podcast app. Thank you very much and you guys have a wonderful day and I hope you learned something.
Speaker 3:All right.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening to our show. This concludes our episode. And listen up to the next episode to follow up on what continuing topics and trends we have going on, and just to continue to listen to your boy and my boom and co-host, big Daz, and listen to our points of views and maybe you can add on to it if you want. But we'll catch you on the next one. All right, have a good one. Peace out, fellas.
