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Suitcase Divas: Travel Agent Tips, Tricks & Travel Tales
Join co-hosts Denise and Cheryl as they chat about the journey of life and how travel plays an intricate role in navigating its twists and turns. Whether it's sharing travel tips, swapping stories over a glass of wine or mimosa, or welcoming special guests, there's always something new to explore! Grab your suitcase, pour a drink, and let’s dive into the adventure of life together—because travel makes everything better!
Suitcase Divas: Travel Agent Tips, Tricks & Travel Tales
AITA: Spring Break Edition
As the days get warmer, so do the debates about spring break plans! In this lighthearted yet thought-provoking episode, we’re diving into the real relationship dynamics that surface when routine takes a holiday.
First up: A husband asks his teacher wife to handle more chores during her much-needed break. Fair request or relationship foul? We unpack the fine line between teamwork and taking advantage of downtime.
Then, it’s a classic parenting dilemma—should a 15-year-old be allowed to swap a wholesome family retreat for a sun-soaked beach trip with friends? We get real about independence, boundaries, and when to let those teenage wings spread.
And oh, the college chaos! From awkward friend exclusions to a freshman literally letting strangers sleep in his roommate’s bed (😳), we’re diving into spring break travel drama that will have you yelling, “No, they didn’t!”
At the heart of it all? How our personal values shape our travel (and life) choices. Whether you’re planning your own getaway or just watching the chaos unfold from the sidelines, this episode will have you thinking, laughing, and maybe even rethinking your next vacation strategy.
So grab your favorite springtime cocktail (we certainly did!) and join us for an episode that proves vacation planning is never just about the destination—it’s about navigating the wild world of human relationships.
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happy first day of spring.
Speaker 2:Finally I'm so glad spring is here, but it brings with it allergies, and they've been kicking my ass. So I see you got your uh cheers to spring to spring.
Speaker 1:It's funny Cause you're usually the red wine drinker and I switched.
Speaker 2:That is crazy.
Speaker 1:Well, this is a mimosa, um, but yes, I, normally I am the red wine drinker, so and Well, I was out of Moscato, so I was like today is a wine day for sure, one celebrating spring and two just it's been a week. It has been a week, but Brianne gave me this past weekend, when I went by her house, this I don't know if I can do it. It was a Christmas wine. She meant to give it to me over christmas but forgot. I see it. Um, one of the things I don't. Is it mulled wine? No, it's just a red wine. It's got a wonderful smell, an absolutely amazing smell. This probably would make a good mulled wine, but I can smell, oh it. It does smell really good. It's got some spice to it. Which cinnamon you're so cute.
Speaker 2:You're like you just took a sip and you're like it does smell really good instead of taste really good well, because I was smelling it as I was, as it was coming up, okay, okay, I always I, I, always I, especially a new wine.
Speaker 1:I always smelling the wine. Yeah, there's nothing, definitely, Are you when it comes to your senses, what will you? I know you're super sensitive to smell, but what's more attractive isn't the word, but like your biggest favorite sense that you have, like, is it smell? Is it taste? Is it taste? Is it touch? Is it visual? What would be?
Speaker 2:yours. Well, my, all of my senses are heightened, so, um, but it's a blessing and a curse, but I don't really know which sense I mean. I guess my sense of smell makes me more aware of things more quickly than others. You know what I mean. Like I'll be the first one to smell if something's burning, or I'll be the first one to smell if something like is chemically or something like that, so that may be kind of a superpower.
Speaker 1:I, for me, smell is a huge like trigger for senses, Like it kicks things in. I get that activates, I guess, memories or some type of relation to it. I was just saying yesterday we were making.
Speaker 2:What were we making? Oh we, we use cornflakes as a breading. Have you ever used that crushed up cornflakes?
Speaker 1:I can't come from a low income.
Speaker 2:We absolutely use cornflakes for everything like breadcrumbs and stuff I didn't know it was because we were were poor, but it's all making a lot of sense now but anywho. So when I was crushing up these um corn flakes to make the breading for the chicken, it instantly reminded me of my mom, and she would use um corn should use the corn flakes crushed up on homemade Mac and cheese and like drizzle on it. And it was so lovely. And I was like isn't that crazy how, all these years later and I don't ever eat cornflakes, I don't really you know what I mean. So the fact that, um, I was helping Alex with the meal and the prep it just I was like isn't that crazy how a scent that decades later can trigger a memory, a core memory of your childhood and stuff. So I do think scents are really cool and music does the same thing for me. If I hear a song.
Speaker 1:Yep, it would be a song or a smell that will trigger an emotion more than touch or visual or taste.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's pretty complex, I think. Yeah, that's pretty complex, I think. But absolutely, a song can trigger back a memory from childhood or a memory from just every day, but it is definitely emotional, it gives you feelings of some sort of way.
Speaker 1:Either good or bad, because I've had songs where I'm like I remember when this was a shitty time, especially like breakup songs or something like that. Yeah, what was your first breakup song that you remember?
Speaker 2:Probably End of the Road by Boyz II Men. Was that Boyz II Men? It was Boyz II Men. Yeah, I cried, I'd had that on perpetual loop and I cried and cried and cried.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So there were no more tears to cry.
Speaker 1:I don't remember the name of the album that it was, but that entire cd was just like one that I played on a loop. That was the only one I really listen.
Speaker 2:I mean, I know I listened to that album but that song and then after I listened to it so many times and it was such a like a, I was just like I'm over it, I can't listen to this anymore, and so that's a good like you brought back some memory.
Speaker 1:Boyz II Men was the thing. I loved them. We're gonna have to play them when we're doing like office work and stuff. Just have, that should be our. We'll have to have like we need to create a little soundtrack for when we're when we're working and stuff yes, perhaps the many, many, many, many things that we have. Yeah, we're not recording because we can't afford there put them on our show, but okay, all right. So happy spring. What are we talking about today?
Speaker 2:happy spring, so with that being this time of year, so this time of year is around spring break and a lot of people are doing spring break, so we thought we would keep it a little bit lighter this week. And do Am I the Asshole spring break edition.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which kind of goes really well with what our previous couple episodes. We talked about spring break trips as adults now that we don't, our kids are pretty much grown and then we talked group travel. So when I we how did you find looking for the, the topics like the? Am I the asshole episode? Because I love Reddit and I feel like you're. You're finally getting my reason why I love Reddit because you actually brought it up. You're like I was on Reddit, I was looking for this.
Speaker 2:Well, so we were talking about? Um, well, we were just. We're always constantly brainstorming what like, what next yeah, cause it is hard coming up with weekly topics, Um, and so I was like well, you know, it's around spring break and we haven't done. Am I the Asshole lately? So let's, let's do it. Let's look it up. Whoa, you just disappeared on me, I know.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I had to turn the heater off because I forgot to.
Speaker 2:Hence the green screen background. Oh shoot.
Speaker 1:I forgot about that, no worries. Well, if our listeners want to go see that faux pas. Go look at our YouTube video.
Speaker 2:She disappeared. The one where she disappeared.
Speaker 1:I forget. Sometimes we're recording a video as well.
Speaker 2:No worries, I thought it was funny, but yeah, so I just totally lost my train of thought.
Speaker 1:I'm so sorry. We were talking about going down Reddit. You were searching and we came up with a topic, so I just thought it my train of thought. I'm so sorry. We were talking about going down Reddit. You were searching and we came up with a topic, so I just thought it was a good topic.
Speaker 2:But yes, so that is what we shall do. Do you want to go first, or do you want me to read my story first? What are you thinking?
Speaker 1:I'll go ahead and go first, because this one this actually wasn't even my first one that I found, but it was the one I moved to the top of the pile, all right, because I was curious how it was going to go. So I'm just going to read the title and you tell me your opinions just off the title, and then we'll dive into the actual. So am I the asshole for asking my wife to do more domestic duties while she's on spring break?
Speaker 2:You want to know my feelings.
Speaker 1:Again.
Speaker 2:Listeners, go watch the video because her face I'm going to initially go with. Yes, I think you're an asshole if you expect your wife to do extra duties, cause the whole point of a vacation is for everybody to have the vacation, right, yeah. So my first initial response is yeah, you are.
Speaker 1:Right, okay, so here's the rest of it, and then let's see what you think. After that and this is one of the things I love they say they start out saying, hi, sorry, this is random throwaway, which I love because you know they're going to spill something if they're not even using their real account. This is actually a pretty basic problem that doesn't need much explanation. I don't think my wife is a teacher. I am a tech knowledge worker who works from home. Since I'm around here, and because teaching is a stressful, very stressful job, I pick a lot of the stuff up. I pick a lot of the cruft up in the house. I didn't know what that word meant, but, okay, I do a lot of cooking, cleaning and laundry.
Speaker 1:My wife is on spring break, so I asked her to share that burden a little extra. My work has been picking up a little too. She says that breaks are for relaxing and that she deserves some downtime. I said that functionally, that means I will forever take on an extra share of chores. Either she's teaching or she's on break, both of which mean I should shoulder a disproportionate load. She's doing extra, she is doing the extra, but she's mad at me. Am I the asshole?
Speaker 2:Okay, Well, based on the title, it's not really. They're not on spring break together, right? And she's being asked to shoulder the chores while they're on vacation. So that's initially what I thought. That being said, it's a little more complicated because I feel like anytime you feel overwhelmed and if she's not working and I get it if she's not working and she's on break. But I think in that scenario I would be willing to help up. If I'm just home anyway and I'm on spring break, I'd be willing to step in and help out with the chores if my partner said hey, I'm, I'm, I'm struggling here.
Speaker 1:So I don't see the asshole for asking her to do. I don't think he is. I don't think he is, I agree. I don't see the asshole for asking her to do that. I don't think he is. I don't think he is, I agree. I don't think so either, because and I will say what drew me into this was the title, because that's a given right there yeah, as the one who has done most of the domestic duties and when we go on trips and all that. That's why you got the initial eye roll.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I knew exactly what you were thinking when I was going to read that title. However, the whole that's a really good and I thought it was an interesting switch of the typical roles of who the homemaker, who the home caretaker is.
Speaker 2:Well then I have to wonder this too, because teachers typically have the summer off where they're not teaching, so is she just on break the whole summer and not wanting to help out and step up then?
Speaker 1:Because then this becomes kind of an issue overall, like he said he'll always be the one picking which, and I will say this as moms, we typically do that, which is why I kind of was like and you originally had your eye roll moment Cause, yeah, we don't usually vacations when our kids are little or when we're trying to vacation. It's not a vacation. So I was like, okay. However, when someone's working full time and they have a break, they deserve a break also, so it seems like they need a while.
Speaker 1:he's not the asshole for asking for a break on his end, right, it's time for them to have that conversation I think there needs to be a conversation, yeah of like hey, you take these first couple days or the last couple days and make that your break, or take every other day, but let's make a plan where you can take a little bit off of my plate, so it's kind of a little bit more balanced, but you're still getting a well-deserved break. Cause, when is this break? And we ask that ourselves as mom when is our break If I'm doing all this stuff? I'm doing all this stuff on the vacations or on my break.
Speaker 2:It does come back to you can't pour from an empty cup, you know. So he's. He's saying I'm struggling, I need help. And I think that's amazing because a lot of times and I'm not saying men, but I'm just saying sometimes they don't like to ask for help. So the fact that he is communicating and saying I need help, I would absolutely be willing to help him if that was my part. I love.
Speaker 1:what you said, before you even really kind of dove into it, was like hey, the first thing you acknowledged was my partner, regardless of their gender or their the stereotypical roles my partner's asking for help. That's what you heard. My partner was asking for help and I think that's really the thing right there is. He's asking for help regardless of what the timing is, as he's like hey, I, you're going to be home all day, and that can cause resentment. If they don't have that conversation, that can lead to resentment. So I don't, I agree with you. I don't think he's the asshole. I could see her. She's not the asshole for being frustrated either, because we kind of sometimes have an assumption of what our break, our time off, will be and it's okay to have that moment of selfishness and and that art or self boundaries or whatever, whatever you call it. But then you got to look at the whole picture who else is relying on me and who else am I?
Speaker 2:well, and they didn't go into a lot of details as to how many children they have and what all they're picking up and and but. But it sounds like she. They need to have a communication down the road of how it's going to, what expectations are going forward, because it sounds like he's struggling, he's asking for help and God loves her. She's a teacher. She has one of the most difficult jobs in the world, so she does deserve downtime. But it just has to be an open communication and a conversation of what the expectations are on these trips and I think and I don't think either one of them are the asshole, but I think they have to work it out and openly, you know, have a conversation about it conversation about it.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I agree, but I thought that was interesting when they the key thing to anyone posting on Reddit or anywhere that attention grabbing headline it can be misleading, but if it the clickbait, whatever you want to call it, I totally clicked on that because I was like dude, you're asking your wife to be more domestic and I was completely off base on the content or context.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the lead in is very deceptive, but I like it, it worked.
Speaker 2:Okay, so mine, mine is. Am I the asshole for not letting my 15 year old daughter go to spring break with her friends? Okay, so here here's the backstory. I have a 15 year old daughter, a 13 year old son and a 12 year old daughter. Our spring breaks tends to be very low key nature oriented. We live in Oregon, so the weather isn't the fun in the sun type, so this spring break we're booked for the natural hot springs area with some hiking and, um, whatnot planned.
Speaker 2:My 15 year old loves, uh, this sort, initially, has loved this sort of thing, um, but this time she has asked to go with her friends, so she said we already paid for her spot, but there's enough time to get the money back If we, if she doesn't come in, it's just the four of us. The trip wouldn't be the same without her, though. Um, what she wants to do instead is her friend invited her to San Diego for five days to stay in a hotel and visit beaches. Uh, attending the trip would be three other girls their age and two moms on a girls getaway beach trip. Okay, so important information to know.
Speaker 2:We've spoken to one of the moms a number of occasions. The other mom we do not know at all. We know one of the girls well, the other girl we've met a couple times, and the third girl is a newer friend to our daughter. Uh, while we're at the nature resort we will not have access to cell phone connection for emergencies. We would have it when we're um off the biking trails, which doesn't make sense. Wouldn't it be at the resort and not on the trails? But that's neither here nor there unless they were camping, I guess.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, but I got you um, so.
Speaker 2:So this is an important part. The flight and hotel are paid for, but our daughter would be responsible to pay her own way for meals and food. She's saved about $500 from allowance babysitting, taking care, yada, yada, yada she saved about $500. We have a good, trusting relationship with our daughter and she talks to us about everything, including romantic relationship stuff, pressure to party, whatever. I told her I don't think I feel comfortable with her bailing on the family vacation time and flying out of state with people we don't know well. She thinks I'm being unfair because she's always been responsible and made good life choices, so she shouldn't be denied her first real spring break. Her mom's viewpoint is that she's nervous about the daughter being in a bikini on a beach around a bunch of guys at 15 and ending up on the evening news for something that happens while we're blissfully enjoying our spring break unaware. She said she couldn't enjoy our spring break if our daughter goes away and is out of contact. Am I the asshole for not letting my 15-year-old daughter do what she wants?
Speaker 1:I'm going to say, yes, I think the mom's being an asshole here because you, as you're going through, I was thinking of the questions because I have two daughters, so I was trying to figure out. And the other thing is we are like 90s kids, so we ran feral and I'm thinking how many times I went off. But with the communication and all of that, you get used to having instant communication with your kids, but that's a crutch, that's not a skill. She trusted her daughter. They have open communication. She trusted her daughter, they have open communication. So, as a parent, you have to you, if you're doing your job and you have confident, and you're confident in your parenting skills and your parenting philosophies and things like that. This is a complicated one because I wouldn't have let my kid go. I would, I would absolutely I would have.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's what I thought.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she would go, um, we'd have some. We'd have some, some things set up, even if I was out of reach cause I've gone where my kids have not been able to get ahold of me. They have a backup. They have another mom.
Speaker 2:I mean, their dad works weird hours, so he's the most reliable and we raise a village, so one of the other sister moms would be there.
Speaker 1:Absolutely so. I they, they would know, or if you're near family, they would have someone else to contact besides me, and this was a point for me with that mom. The mom said she would not be able to enjoy her trip because her daughter was out of her range.
Speaker 2:A little selfish, right.
Speaker 1:That's not a kid problem.
Speaker 2:Well, so I understand the concept of listen helicopter mom here. I understand the concept of not wanting your 15 year old to be on a separate trip away from the family. The biggest thing is okay. I understand if you want to say no, because you don't know the other mom at all and you only know this mom.
Speaker 2:So there's what? Four girls and two moms and you don't even know other mom at all and you only know this mom. So if there there's what? Four girls and two moms and and you don't even know one of the moms, so for me, if it was like I, I need to get to know this other mom better before I let you go, or I agree it's not fair to put it on the 15 year old that's been responsible. And imagine this you're 15 year old and you have a 14 year old or a 13 year old and a 12 year old or whatever, like a 14 and a 12. The last thing you want to do is go on spring break with your little annoying tween siblings and the other thing is they offered to pay for her plane ticket and the resort.
Speaker 1:So the daughter was willing to pay for the rest. So she had a plan. She came to her mom and said here's everything, here's what I would like to do. That one right there would have been. This kid thought it out. I would have been super proud of my kid to come to me and I would have had my questions. I would have said okay, what are you going to do X, y, z? What are you going to do here or there?
Speaker 2:That is that would have been the mom that would have have. That's the part where we're supposed to be teaching them the next steps of growing up like right and letting go is part of that. And letting them have, letting them have adventures without you, although terrifying as it may be, this is part of next steps, of adulting and becoming and having some independence. And if it truly is, because you're concerned and it's san diego right, not, like you know, an unsafe- Everywhere is unsafe.
Speaker 1:This is why I taught my kids everywhere is unsafe, regardless, and I say that in the sense of you need to be responsible and knowledgeable what's going on around.
Speaker 2:Anything can happen anywhere. We listen to explication.
Speaker 1:We know how it is. And when she did make the comment about a bathing suit on the beach where she's not overseeing your daughter's 15, my, I've never been the one that my kids had to dress for comfortable to make other people comfortable my, it's not their. It's not their job to dress to make someone else comfortable. It is their my kid's job to know how to handle if someone makes them uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:Correct, I agree, that is a very good point. That's how I've handled that. That's going to happen everywhere at any time.
Speaker 1:That could happen anytime, and just because they could be fully dressed and be catcalled and be harassed. Correct so it needs to be a situation Like my kids I've told them.
Speaker 2:I've been hit on in a turtleneck.
Speaker 1:I had the conversations of it. It's now, do you risk? I've also had my kids have called me on it. I'm like, look, if you go out there and you're clubbing we've actually had these conversations. I was like you wear what you want, but you can't control how everybody else reacts to you, so you need to be able to handle how they react to you.
Speaker 2:Correct Period it doesn't matter and right, and they could be dressed as slutty as they want to be, and that gives nobody a right to put a hand on your body, absolutely.
Speaker 1:That's what I say, so so.
Speaker 2:I think the mom and the dad is. I don't know if he's putting it off on the mom being, like my wife's, concerned about her being in a bikini, la la la but if she's given you no reason to not trust her, I do think she should be able to go. But at the end of the day, you are her parents and I don't think you're the asshole if you say no. But I think you need to reflect on why you're saying no. If it's because of her safety, then okay, Understood. It sucks for her.
Speaker 1:Let me ask you this If she was your friend, if she was me coming to you and saying, oh, saying all that I don't want to send one of my kids because of these, what would you tell me, girl, you're being a helicopter, you're valid in your concerns, or what? How would you cause I'm going to tell you this, if you keep saying that, I would say I think you're, I don't think I think you're being an asshole to your kid because, again, I would say if it's because of your concerns, but I, even though you're uncomfortable, I would encourage you.
Speaker 2:If I was talking to you, I would encourage you to. I would say well, what is your main reservation? Is it because you're just because you can't make her feel not valid on wanting to go with her friends? She's 15. She wants to get out. She wants I mean, that is that's so natural and understanding that she wants to go on the vacation. If it's because you feel left behind and and you don't think you can have a good spring break, bad on you. You know what I mean. Like you're a full grown adult and you have to give your children the chance to fly, you know. But if you get to know, if it's really I would say, cheryl if it's really because you don't know the other mom or you're really genuinely concerned for her safety, then make the effort. It sounds like it's enough time that she can cancel this other trip. Go ahead and make the effort to get to know the other parents and then let her have this experience. That's what I would say to you.
Speaker 1:I would love that, because that's so. What you said is ultimately, it's the mom having reservations. My other question, my other thought is and I see this a lot as the oldest of five, I see this also, or I remember feeling this way. I want to know what, because this is the oldest daughter too. So this is the first time the parents are having to go through this phase of where they're branching out on their own, which is tricky. We've all been there or not. If we have kids, we're going to be in there at that point. What kind of responsibility does she have at home? Do you trust her enough to watch your other kids? Do you trust her enough to go out? Does she have a part-time job? Is she going off on sports trips, you know, is she?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and none of that was brought up, but they did say they have a trusting relationship with their daughter. So to me that means she's somewhat responsible, and so, although it's a difficult situation, I think they should let her. I don't. I don't think the dad's definitely not the asshole, because I think he's just trying to navigate between what the daughter wants to do and what the mom's uncomfortable level is.
Speaker 1:I would have never asked Daniel. I would never have even asked her dad. I know, which probably is the shit that makes me. That's the asshole part for me, cause I wouldn't even have this discussion. Me and my kids would have figured it out and then I would have told their dad what they were doing. But you're that that makes that's the asshole part for me.
Speaker 2:Well, I told Alex the other day. Nick told him to take the car and go get a slushie. He does not even have a permit, mind you. And I said, Alex, when you're thinking about doing something really questionable and your dad tells you an answer that you think is probably not what you should be doing, please come to me and ask me, because I make the final decisions here.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So and he's like, mom, I wouldn't have taken the car. I was like, okay, good job, buddy.
Speaker 1:Let's see I've got. Let me see what we got here. What's another one? And I'm going to do this one because it's it kind of relates back to the episode we did a couple of weeks ago. So am I the asshole for not paying for an extra spot on spring break?
Speaker 2:Not paying for an extra spot, like to one of your kids wants to bring a friend.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Let me read it to you, cause it was very interesting.
Speaker 2:Cause we had just had an episode. We just talked about.
Speaker 1:That's one of the more information, exactly. Yeah, this. This is also great Clickbait, like'all the things that suck me in. All right, I, 23 female had a friend, maddie, 23 female also, who was supposed to go with me and 17 other people on a trip in two weeks. It's two weeks away. Another one of my friends booked the Airbnb and they split the cost 19 ways, which came out about $230 per person. Cost 19 ways, which came out about 230 per person.
Speaker 1:Maddie and I got into an argument and she put that in quotations last week where she basically got extremely drunk, flipped shit on me, called me names and disrespected me. In my own home, a few other people witnessed it and told me that I had handled it well. Just told her to leave. Okay, this goes on to what the fight was about. And I was sober. The op was sober at the moment. Uh, so fast forward. Since then they haven't spoken, but her roommate told me maddie's roommate told me the op that she no longer is going on the trip. I don't think she should go either, and 90 of the people that are my college friends and have heard about it also don't think they should go. But maddie wants her money back now. Mind you, they're two weeks away from this trip and this is the OP.
Speaker 1:While I can see where she's coming from, I don't think everyone else should have to cover her, since she and I got into an argument, but at the same time, I don't think I should have to cover it, considering none of it was my fault. She truly did just drunkenly flip out and when I didn't react, she started calling me names and whatnot. Basically, they got into a fight. The one thing I said that night was for her to get out, regardless. They got into a fight. Okay, the trip is two weeks away, all of us have been saving up for, and I don't know who should have to take the loss because of all of this. Would I be the asshole if I tell Maddie that I'm not going to pay her and that she brought this upon herself?
Speaker 1:And here's an edit I want to clarify that I did not uninvite her. I heard from her roommate that Maddie was no longer going but wanted her money back. I was just trying to say that I agreed with her decision not to go, so I guess in the comments they were kind of saying. So here's the summary of it Maddie and the OP got into a fight. They were scheduled to go on a trip for 19 people. It costs 230 per person. They're two weeks away. They got into a fight. The OP has heard that Maddie wants her money back. She doesn't want to go and the OP is kind of feeling like I don't want to pay for it, but this is my friend that I brought to the group. Maddie doesn't want to pay for it. Like where are we at here?
Speaker 2:Hmm, Well, first I'm wondering what freaking Airbnb holds like 25 people for 230 per person.
Speaker 1:It doesn't say the location, so I'm with you there.
Speaker 2:And, for the record, I don't think it would have cost anybody that much extra when you're splitting it by like 23 people. But that being said, I mean it sounds like Maddie is the girl that got kicked out.
Speaker 1:Let's answer the question. Am I the asshole for not paying for the extra spot on spring break? So is the OP the asshole for not no Matt Initially my thought is no, because you're all adults.
Speaker 2:It's two weeks away from now, one week, you know what I mean. Like we're getting down the wire between when the fight happened and she told her to get out of her house and and now it's understandable that if she's the only person that she knows in this group of 20 people, then she probably wouldn't want to go people then she probably wouldn't want to go, but at that point I don't think it's any of anybody else's responsibility to pay for her. I would say no, you're not the asshole, cause it sounds like.
Speaker 2:It sounds like Maddie flipped out when she was drunk, which I mean, we've all been there kind of in the maybe I can relate more than I should be able to, but but if I act like an asshole or whatever, if I've had too much to drink, typically I will follow up with I I'm sorry. If if it really was bad on me, I have no problem being like I'm sorry. I felt some kind of way and I don't want to go on the trip. But no harm, no foul. You know if I had already and it's $230.
Speaker 1:You can mind you, they're 23. So they're probably college kids. So $230 on the scale is big, I mean, I guess so, I guess so. However, it's a lesson learned. I agree with you. I do not think the OP is an asshole.
Speaker 2:I don't think she should have to be responsible for paying for anybody. And my other question is why is the? Why is Maddie in a room with somebody else, Like a?
Speaker 1:different roommate. She told a roommate she doesn't want to go. I think they're college roommates, is what they mean.
Speaker 2:Okay, or.
Speaker 1:I'm assuming they're home roommates or whatever, not their roommate on the trip.
Speaker 2:Okay, that was a bit confusing.
Speaker 1:That was a little bit confusing.
Speaker 2:Confusing because I'm like if she's the only person that you brought into the group. Why is she rooming with?
Speaker 1:somebody else. Yeah, no, I assume that to mean where, because it said the op was they had the argument in the op's home and then maddie and her roommate. So wherever they live is what where the fight took um and there were some other things in there where they kind of got regardless.
Speaker 2:You're two weeks out on a trip, so everything I don't think you can get your if you book through anybody else.
Speaker 1:There's no way, two weeks out, you get any kind of money back absolutely, because even if you booked on your own a solo trip and you cancel unless you bought insurance, then no, you can't go and you know those college kids don't be buying travel protection. But even if you're on a group trip and you're paying portion stuff, there are travel insurance policies out there for you to cover some things. Like I'm not not an insurance salesman, I want to disclaimer there.
Speaker 2:However, if you're going to buy travel protection, though you have to follow through with the trip, and the travel protection is provided Unless you do cancel for any reason.
Speaker 1:That's why I say you need to go and look at there are cause maybe she didn't know. Or if you are going on a group trip, it has to be a group policy. It absolutely doesn't have to be a group policy in every instance.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, you could go back and try to read the fine print, but usually when you read the fine print it says you're screwed.
Speaker 1:Well, not if you get canceled for any reason.
Speaker 1:No, but most college kids do not get canceled for any reason I know this is why I'm educating them Like I don't care how big. By the way, I don't know if you know this. This is totally a tangent but if you're going 100 miles from your home, you can get travel insurance, Because even if you're just doing a day trip, you can get travel insurance that can potentially cover. Just check if you're just doing a day trip, you can get travel insurance that can potentially cover. Just check if you're traveling away.
Speaker 2:I think Cheryl's travel agent, cya, is kicking in a full throttle. I love it. I love it, cheryl.
Speaker 1:I am going to recommend all of my clients, no matter how. If they are going for a weekend, drive to three hours away, I'm recommending travel insurance. You don't know what happens.
Speaker 2:I'm always going to recommend cancel for any reason, which, by the way, there are some fine prints in that. So I'm not an insurance salesperson.
Speaker 1:However, I will always recommend travel insurance.
Speaker 2:And I always recommend to read the fine print. So, moving on from that though I do, I do think that it. I really don't think she's the asshole, for just for the record. Okay, my next one is am I the asshole for not inviting my friends on spring break trip on a spring break trip?
Speaker 1:Okay, I had one similar. All right, good, go ahead.
Speaker 2:Well, do you want?
Speaker 1:do you want to do yours, because I want to see if we got the same one. Wouldn't that be fun, okay.
Speaker 2:All right. So to start out, I'm a college kid in my first year of college, my classmates are all going off on crazy adventures for spring break, so I was thinking I would just go somewhere too. I got the days off from work and I was thinking about destinations in my price range. So I asked my friends hey, where should I go for spring break? I'm thinking maybe New York or Massachusetts. And then when I told them, they went off on me and they started with a basic oh, you didn't even invite us. And I thought it was all jokes, but it turns out it wasn't.
Speaker 2:They started saying how we talked about going on a trip to New York a year ago and that it kind of sucks that you didn't even ask. Now, my friends could never afford this trip. It's not super expensive, but it'd just be a couple of days. But they literally just got a new home and they both owe me money, so they're in no position to go on vacations, in my opinion. That's why I never bothered asking them in the first place. I knew they couldn't say yes, even if they wanted to.
Speaker 2:I apologize to avoid the bigger issue, but I can't help but thinking that I should not have had to apologize for not inviting someone into a small getaway trip, but then again I'm not quite sure because I have a hard time understanding social situations. I will add this because it wasn't clear, because people were kind of dogging her and saying like that's pretty shitty of you to say where should I go. But they're like you said that, are these the same trips? Are these the same friends who are going on crazy adventures? And she said no, they are not the same friends. These were two of my close friends, one being in a different college and the other not going to school at all. So I'm just going to add that in there.
Speaker 1:Okay, so read me the question. The main question Am I an asshole? Question again.
Speaker 2:Am I an asshole for not inviting my friends on a spring break trip?
Speaker 1:And let me look, because the way that they, the, the poet wrote this and I have a hard time. I'm a visual, so when you read it to me, I have a harder time comprehending. What my understanding is, she was planning to do her first solo trip but she had asked them for like feedback or things like that Is that my understanding.
Speaker 1:Okay, and this was a trip that the friends supposedly said that they also would like to do that. This is something. Is that the vibe that it sounds? They also would like to do that? This is something. Is that the vibe that it sounds?
Speaker 2:like it sounds like her, her other college friends all had these big plans to go on a big spring break trip so she's kind of having FOMO about not traveling right and and she didn't have the the budget to do the crazy adventures, so she thought she would go up to New York or Massachusetts or something to do like a long weekend solo trip and she was asking her other group friends where she should go for her.
Speaker 1:The question was am I an asshole for not inviting my friends? No, you're not required. You're not required to invite anybody. This is something that I taught my kids as well. Come on, guys, you but that doesn't mean you're labeling your friends different levels. It's just you have different connections. Now, having a conversation with your friends about like y'all, y'all my friends have gone on trips that I'm super envious of and like I having FOMO, but I would never shit on their parade because I want them to go out and have a great time and I would absolutely give input without being like, well, you got my information, but you didn't invite me Like I would never assume.
Speaker 2:Well, and I get the. Fomo factor but, like she said, her friends are having FOMO. Yeah Right, I get that on them. But also you have to factor in they both owe her money.
Speaker 1:So how are you going over that?
Speaker 2:because that's a deeper cut, like yeah, but I know, but if you owe me money and you're pissed that I'm not asking you to come on a vacation with me. That's there's. That's something a little shady too there, like to me.
Speaker 1:I think that factors in but also I could see why others would say okay, these people obviously. But I know, I just I was gonna say, I still think solo travel is up and coming.
Speaker 2:It's out there. Well, it's been out. It's not up and coming. But it is also very trendy to do a solo trip. We've talked about I. Maybe one day I'll do a solo trip.
Speaker 1:I I doubt it, we're hoping, yeah, we're working on it, even if I'm like behind you just supervising.
Speaker 2:Just two blocks behind.
Speaker 1:Just follow me and let me make pretend I'm venturing out into the world and I just be like I'll buzz you or something with like the Right when I start to get off track.
Speaker 1:I really do want you to take a soap, but no, I don't think the OP is an asshole for not inviting their friends. If their friends are feeling some way like, hey, you know, I gave you, we told you how exciting this was for us as well, then I would have turned back and said, okay, well then let's either plan a trip together or let me help you plan a trip and they had talked about going to New York.
Speaker 2:but I mean, we talk about having a compound.
Speaker 1:You can talk about things and it might not be in the works, and if you wait for everybody to be in the right spot, you miss out on life. So if she has the opportunity, or they. I'm sorry, I didn't hear what.
Speaker 2:I think it's a she.
Speaker 1:They can too, don't? You can't wait for your, for your circle, your people around you, to be who you are and miss. You always say this you're not promised tomorrow, so correct for today. And they went off and did their thing. No, absolutely not an asshole, and I like that.
Speaker 1:You brought this up because at least two of my, my next two, which I don't necessarily, because I think we're kind of, I have one more and then I think we might call it, but they were about people talking about inviting Do I invite this person? They got mad because I didn't invite them. Or I don't want to invite this person because of X, y, z. Am I the asshole because I did not invite someone? That was the theme, and here's my thing to you guys. Was the theme and here's my thing to you guys. For the most part, I'd say 98 of the time. You are not the asshole if you choose not to invite someone to whatever you're doing, if it's out of you know, just, organic, authentic. This is what fits right now. If you're being a petty bitch, you know you're being a petty bitch, period. You know it deep down. You know right, um, but you are not required to invite your best friend on every trip you do. You do think you're going to Napa Valley in a couple months with your college besties.
Speaker 1:Not one time did I think, well, fuck, why didn't she invited me? You know what I thought? I cannot wait to hear. Of course I'm gonna have FOMO and I'm gonna be following socials and be like, oh, she's having the best time. I'm sovious I can be envious without being petty about you going or feeling like I should have been included. I think it's more. You've got to be excited for your friend to go, like that's a real friend. I'm so excited. I love hearing about your planning. It's just interesting to me where people feel entitled to an invitation to someone else's experience, that's correct. If you were to flip it that way, are they entitled to your experience, an invitation to your experience? How does that work?
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, I agree and we will move on. But I agree, she, I don't think she is an asshole because, because of the scenario, because of the fact that she's in a, she goes to college and she doesn't even go to college with them. Um, and and you know, she she originally said this is going to be a solo trip. Maybe the only thing I think she could give like her she could learn a little lesson from is if you think there's a possibility that you're somebody's going to be upset, don't ask them for advice to where to go. You can figure that out. If this is a solo trip, do your own research, cause I feel like it. It could be a little assy to say, hey, I'm going to this fabulous place. I know you guys don't have any plans, because that might seem like so. I maybe would have just kept my mouth shut, but I don't think she's an asshole at the end of the day for wanting to do a solo trip. I still don't.
Speaker 1:I agree with you and I think it's all about reading the room and reading the people you're talking to.
Speaker 2:She said she thought it was a joke when they said I'm so pissed so she wasn't prepared for them to take it that way. I really do believe that, based on what she said, she's like I thought they were joking, but then they weren't so yeah, I guess it's a lesson learned too.
Speaker 1:You're right, I don't think she's the asshole for not inviting them. So this next one, it involves spring break, but it's kind of got a slight twist, but I do think it's come up before in situations. So I wanted to get your input. Am I the asshole for letting my friend sleep in my roommate's bed while he was gone over spring break? Now, mind you, he had never said no, come again. Exactly, am I the asshole for letting my friend? So this guy has a roommate and his friend, the friend's out of town. The roommate is, I mean sorry, the roommate is out of town and he has friends over they. They end up crashing and sleeping in the roommate's bed while the roommate's out of town. Is he the asshole for letting someone sleep in someone else's bed?
Speaker 2:Well, was the is so when he says the roommate, they're sharing that room right.
Speaker 1:Well, it could be an apartment. It doesn't necessarily mean a college dorm. You want me to read it? Oh well, let me read the rest of it. Yeah, because I don't have enough context clues here. Well, basically you gave permission for someone to sleep in someone else's bed while they were out of town.
Speaker 2:Well, my first thing was did I discuss to the roommate that there's a possibility that my friend is crashing in my bed?
Speaker 1:So in the title? This is the title. Am I the asshole for letting my friend sleep in roommate's bed while he was gone over spring break? He never said no, that's all that's in the title. So let me read the direct.
Speaker 1:I need more information Because it was very interesting. Pretty sure my roommate's an asshole, but I'm trying to get an unbiased view. I am a freshman in college, so you're correct. It's a dorm, as you can probably guess. I attend. I'm not going to say where they attend, but well, three weeks ago was break and my family lives far away, so I decided to stay in town and work over break. This works out well as my girlfriend is from here and was also staying over break.
Speaker 1:Before my roommate left, we did a substantial cleaning of the dorm. We vacuumed, wiped all the dusting, sanitizing everything, washing our sheets and bedding. I thought it was great. I was going to get this nice clean room to myself and I don't have to be embarrassed when guests come over. So basically, my girlfriend's friend and significant other came over and we hung out at my dorm most of the time over the course of several nights. We got really drunk most of the nights and since my roommate wasn't there, I gave the all clear for my girlfriend's significant others I'm assuming that's the friend in the SO to sleep in my roommate's bed. I had a roommate agreement with my roommate and this wasn't mentioned in the contract, so all was good.
Speaker 1:Roommate came back and freaked out when he saw his sheets were not clean and his bed wasn't made when he left it. He first asked if he was robbed and I said no, I let my girlfriend's friend sleep on it. He freaked out and said that was wrong. I firmly told him that he should have included it in the roommate agreement and it wasn't my problem. He got the RA involved and threw a fuss. The RA is saying I might have to move, even though he's the one causing the fuss, for now we are not talking. I tried to be reasonable and explain to him why he's wrong, but he won't communicate and ignores me. He's really immature like that. Am I the asshole? Oh my God, I love it. I enjoyed this one and I enjoyed the comments on this one too.
Speaker 2:He is the asshole Absolutely, and if you have the audacity and you know those people were fucking in his bed.
Speaker 2:That was my assumption as well, and at the very least, fucking wash his sheets and make his bed, and he's never the wiser. But, yes, you are a fucking asshole. And if it's a dorm, it doesn't. It's not like you're going to put something batshit crazy. Like PS if I go out of town, don't let your friends fuck in my bed. Like you shouldn't have to put that in the roommate clause. That's a given. Like that's a given. Nobody wants to come back to all creamy sheets that are not. You know what I mean. Like no, no, no, I would be skeeved out too. He absolutely is the asshole, and the fact that he's still saying why he's not the asshole makes him an asshole. So you're a double fucking asshole. Yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what got me was, he said, the title. The title got me on this one Cause I could. I like to read the title and make an assumption. I totally am judging and make an assumption, and then I like to know if I'm proven wrong by the content.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, cause sometimes you can't judge a book by its content.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. But I like that challenge. It's like a mystery. I'm so, I'm a detective, but anyway me too.
Speaker 2:I have a criminal justice. I'll tell you, I'm not, I'm, I'm wrong more than I'm right. That just got me hot I.
Speaker 1:that me heated. I looked up because that was a lot to read. I couldn't paraphrase that because I wanted you to hear his voice. His tone, this was one I did not understand.
Speaker 2:This guy is clearly an asshole with a capital A.
Speaker 1:I read this all the way through. I thought it was so funny. But what got me was when he said am I the asshole for letting my friend sleep in roommate's bed while he was gone over spring break? He never said no. He never said no because he didn't know what you were doing. Exactly that was my thought. The second I read that I was like that is not a conversation. He never said no. So throughout I will tell you the comments. I loved the comments. They were all about. It was all about the sheets.
Speaker 1:I know, People couldn't get past the fact that and when I reread this I realized it was more than one night, it wasn't just, it was multiple nights.
Speaker 2:You say they're just drunk and hooking up. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:Like yes, I mean, you know that's happened. He didn't imply that or say that. Yeah, but you went to college. But my thought was the fact that everybody was that was all they could like. Dude, the least you could have done was washed his fucking sheets.
Speaker 2:I would have thrown him a fucking bone if he had washed the sheets, cleaned the bed, and it probably would not have even come up. The guy probably would not have even noticed. So I'm going to say no harm, no foul, but you're still freaking gross.
Speaker 1:I mean you're douchey if you do, if you hide it, but I understand it, Cause that's I. But our college behavior of hey, sneak over here, we're going to wash the sheets, Cause we do that with at home, Like remember when we were partying in high school, everybody clean it. Don't let no one know. That's why I would do a spring break. Don't let my parents know if y'all were here.
Speaker 2:I use some common sense and hygiene, like that's just nasty. That's just nasty. I I'm judging the fuck out of that guy yeah, he is totally the asshole. But for sure, that is cut and clear is that the tone.
Speaker 1:the tone was horrible and and that he was that boy is entitled.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you that right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was funny.
Speaker 2:Well, well. So I mean, I think we're definitely over our time, but I do always enjoy. Am I the Asshole? And there's a lot can happen in spring break. Clearly, sometimes some people's spring break goes better than others, and we've heard a lot of different scenarios. So we'd love your feedback as to you know, if you agree with us as to who the asshole is, or if you disagree, why and um, we'd love to hear your feedback. No-transcript.
