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Suitcase Divas: Travel Agent Tips, Tricks & Travel Tales
Join co-hosts Denise and Cheryl as they chat about the journey of life and how travel plays an intricate role in navigating its twists and turns. Whether it's sharing travel tips, swapping stories over a glass of wine or mimosa, or welcoming special guests, there's always something new to explore! Grab your suitcase, pour a drink, and let’s dive into the adventure of life together—because travel makes everything better!
Suitcase Divas: Travel Agent Tips, Tricks & Travel Tales
Confused Girl in the City, Clarity in the Chaos
This week on Suitcase Divas, we’re unpacking more than just luggage—we’re unpacking life, healing, and the power of getting beautifully confused.
We’re joined by the fabulous Giovanna Silvestre, author of the soon-to-be-released Confused Girl and the fierce founder of Confused Girl in the City. What starts as a raw convo about hitting that dreaded quarter-life crisis turns into a powerful, soul-deep journey through shame, self-discovery, and the magic of not having it all figured out.
“I had placed so much value in what other people thought of me,” Giovanna shares—honestly and vulnerably. Her depression was rooted in chasing shiny titles and flashy careers that looked good on paper but left her soul running on empty. But through the darkness, she found a radical truth: confusion isn’t failure—it’s a beginning.
That truth sparked a transformation and a video blog that followed her as she tried something new every week to get closer to who she really is. (Talk about bravery in action!)
Giovanna also drops real talk on something so many of us wrestle with—shame. She breaks it down in a way that just hits different: guilt is “I did something bad,” but shame is “I am bad.” And guess what? That shame? It doesn’t belong to us. Her ritual of releasing shame—imagining it as a heavy backpack and tossing it into the ocean—is the kind of healing visual we’re carrying with us from now on.
And if you’ve ever dreamed of packing a bag and heading off solo? Giovanna’s been there. From nervous first steps to building a life abroad in Bali and Berlin, she shows us that transformation isn’t about giant leaps—it’s about brave little steps.
Things get tender when she opens up about her upcoming second book, Confused Girl: Love, Loss, and Cannolis—an emotional, heartwarming tribute to navigating grief and still finding joy (and dessert). Through it all, Giovanna reminds us that confusion is a compass, not a curse.
✨ Want to join the movement? Pre-order Confused Girl before it drops May 13th and enter to win a dreamy two-night oceanfront stay in Maui (yes, really!) plus a gift card to her store. All the deets are at confusedgirlinthecity.com and you can follow her journey over on Instagram @confusedgirlLA.
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Hey guys, well, welcome to Suitcase Divas. Today we have a special guest, giovanna. And how do you say your last name? Is it Silvestre, silvestre?
Speaker 2:Silvestre.
Speaker 1:Okay, I like that. Well, I have D Ubaldi, so we both have some complicated last names, so I just wanted to make sure I was not mispronouncing it. So you're good, well, welcome, welcome. So Giovanna has a book coming out called Confused Girl, and let's start at the beginning, and that is going to come out May 13th, correct?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:May 13th. Super excited for you for that. So let's start at the beginning. What inspired you to write Confused Girl, and was there a specific point that landed you the title?
Speaker 2:Well, I so in my late twenties which, which happens to a lot of people, at the time I didn't really realize that I also didn't know it's called Saturn Returns, where your Saturn returns around like every 27 years and then you go through a crisis, so I call it like a quarter life crisis and at this time, you know, people can get married or fall into depression or get a divorce or change careers.
Speaker 2:And I actually fell into a depression and I, what I realized during that time is that I had placed so much value in what other people thought of me. I had placed so much value in what other people thought of me, you know, right, and it was kind of like, oh well, like, does this make me look cool? I was doing the careers that I thought made me look cool, or or to please my parents, and I didn't know who I was at all Like I. And that's why I say to people now in your twenties, it really kind of doesn't matter what you do per se, um, it's more about figuring out who you are, because if you build a foundation of who you are and build a good foundation of you know, you feel like you have sufficient amount of like, self-worth and some tools in your toolbox to go out into the world and deal with stuff, then you're, you're, you're setting yourself up really good for your thirties and forties, and the rest, you know.
Speaker 2:But I was just focused on career and getting ahead. And then the things that I thought I I well the thing, the careers I had spent so much time in I didn't like, I didn't want to do so late twenties. I just fell into this depression and I'm like I don't even know who I am and my main goal was I just want to feel good in my own skin. I just want to feel like I have worth because I exist, not because I have a new car or a new boyfriend or a new career or whatever I. Just because I understood at that time those things are fleeting, they can be fleeting so, um. So then from there, you know, through a lot of things I write about in the book is I was able to get out of my depression, but I was still like I I'm still confused about who I am and what I'm supposed to do here on planet earth.
Speaker 2:So I thought, okay, you know, know, at the time video blogs were the thing. This was like, uh, like 12 years ago. So I started a video blog called confused girl in the city, because I'm like well, that's the most authentic thing about myself right now is that I'm confused. So let me just go from there and then every week I would do one new thing that I've never done before in an attempt to figure out yeah, like to figure out. You know who I was, why I was here. So that's how the confused girl um name came about. So at that time, when I was doing the video blog that it was going to be an activewear line and then a book, and that's- like yeah, you can launch, went away that, yeah, that it came about um the confusion created a trajectory for you.
Speaker 3:It gave you a path which and it's relatable.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're. You're not. I'm sure you're not the only one confused in your late 20s about how to proceed with your life but you made a good point of people not realizing that you're not alone in that confusion.
Speaker 3:Because I do think once you make all those milestone checks, you check off those boxes, you're like, okay, well, now what, I've done this, but I still don't feel complete, fulfilled or however that works out. And you're like, does everybody else? Because they look, everybody puts on the great front, like we've got our stuff together. So you think your internal struggle is like just the only one. And it's so awesome that you came out and we're talking about that. And I bet people were just clicking with it Like, oh, I'm finally not alone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Because depression can be isolating and lonely as well. So I love that you took something negative that was going on in your life and you put it out and addressed it and made it something, because, because mental wellness is kind of like, oh, you have a problem with mental wellness. It's kind of a stigma. Right, You're not supposed to see a therapist or you're not supposed to be depressed and everybody's supposed to be happy and perfect all the time. But that's not real life. It's not. So I think putting something out there is is important. What you did was good and beneficial.
Speaker 2:Thank you and and I did call it confused girl, because I did realize that at some point I'm like wait, there's, no, it's. I don't need to feel shameful about being confused. I mean, no one's born with a manual on how to do your life. It's not like you get this man that says, okay, at year two, you need to get rid of this friend, then you need to, then you need to not date that guy, then you need. It's like you don't get a manual for these kinds of things and you're just figuring it out and it's one grand experiment. And so you know there's. It's silly to feel ashamed about it, and so and I talk, I have a whole chapter about like shame and guilt and how to let that go, and and the premise of the book is that confusion is a virtue and that if you can use it, it could propel you forward, just like it's propelled me forward.
Speaker 3:Right. So you, your writing and the way you're talking about it. It feels very personal and universal. How did you do that balance between being vulnerable and getting that truth out there? How did you balance all of that while you were going through the book writing process?
Speaker 2:Well, it's so funny because you think like you're done with the book and then the publisher is like, nope, nope, there's more, nope, dig deeper, dig deeper, and it's like a never ending dig deeper. I'm like you think you get your point across and then it's like, uh-uh, uh-uh, you got to go deeper. I'm like you think you get your point across and then it's like, uh, you got to go deeper. And so actually going back through the, the depression stuff was really hard for me actually, because I'm so past it now. One I kind of you kind of forgot how it feels, because when you get over something you know, kind of just you forget.
Speaker 3:And move on from it. You want to be like and just not keep bringing it up and move on. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and, and so I really had to go back and feel what I felt, and it made me. It made me so compassionate for other people going through it, and that's the reason why I wrote this book. And so I was like, okay, you know, this is the reason why we wrote this, like let's, let's go there, but it is, it was painful, it was uncomfortable and it just made me feel like like really proud of myself, though, of how far I've come and and also the things I'm writing about actually work and can help people, and that's a good thing.
Speaker 3:But it was really hard, kind of trenching that back up and yeah, but again, that's a good question or a good comment you made about um having the compassion for yourself, cause I was getting ready to ask, like did were you more critical in hindsight, using hindsight, looking back and like how did I not know, did I not see the signs that I was going? Like, how, how did you keep yourself from being critical of the person who was going through that to the person you are?
Speaker 2:now. Well, I kind of led up to it like like some backstory. I gave you some backstory about how I grew up and I gave you some backstory about even the schools I went to. Like when I was a freshman in high school I was in a private Catholic school. They were asking me what college I wanted to go to, and that's so much pressure.
Speaker 3:It's daunting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's like you're putting pressure, it's like putting so much pressure on a child and and and then. So then you're, then you start to think, okay, and I don't want to let my family down, cause my, my, oh my. My dad was a very prideful man. He was an immigrant from Italy and, you know, had a business in town and so you know I want. So it was just I was. I felt like I was constantly under in a pressure cooker. So it stopped being about playfulness and joy. Life stopped being about creativity. It started to be about how do I get into a good college? Then in college, like, how, what career should I go into where I can make a lot of money and look cool, and you know?
Speaker 3:and so it was all about that and it was never about me right it was just getting to that next stepping stone, and then you're thinking you're there, but then it's like okay, now you just pushed a goal line. Someone the universe, whomever is putting that expectation or what we perceive as putting that on us, is pushing that goal line further and further and change, and it's always like that, and that's what I, you know, I write about that too.
Speaker 2:I'm just like you know it's. If you live like that, if you live your life like a bunch of boxes, you need to check off it's. It's going to be miserable, like you know, because you're like to prove that you're worthy of existing here, you need to keep checking off these boxes.
Speaker 1:It's going to be like cause your list is never ending right, like you never are checking before you can possibly check off the whole list. There's always new things that are added to your list.
Speaker 2:You know, you're never completing a list you know, and it's like who cares about what's on the list? Are you enjoying?
Speaker 3:what's on the?
Speaker 2:list. Yes, right there, because if you haven't learned how to enjoy what's on your list, that to me is a hell. It's a personal hell, and that's how I was living, and I had no joy at that time. I was not grateful for anything, I didn't enjoy anything. Um, life, you're existing, yeah yeah, life was just a series of things. I I, I should have more, I should be more, and I need to keep striving for that. But then once I get that, it's still never enough. So it's like I kind of describe it as like you're. You're like this cup, right here and with no bottom, and you could pour the whole ocean through it and it's still empty. That's where you live, right?
Speaker 3:Exactly.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, was travel ever part of your self-discovery journey and if so, what would you say? What place would you say you visited that changed you the most?
Speaker 2:Well, you know, ever since I was a kid I was we were always going to Europe because my father was from Italy, so my yeah, so my grandparents were there and cousins and relatives. So even when we were my sister and I were in high school, my parents would put us on a plane and we fly to Italy and stay there for a month while they were working in the restaurant Italy. I would say Italy really did shape me growing up because also my dad's from like a small village and and it was like village life over there and you just saw like a completely different way people were living and and and. Also, I think in school here I had such a big personality I felt I was a bit too much and I needed to taper it down. But when I was in the South of Italy I was like everybody here has a big personality.
Speaker 2:I was like I'm not too much, like everybody here is too much you know.
Speaker 2:So it kind of taught me a lot about different cultures and how different act and interact and everything. So I would definitely say I had the travel bug since I was a kid. But then again my life became all about what I was going to achieve next and how I was going to prove that I was worthy. So I didn't travel a lot and I was scared to travel alone. So you're always waiting for a boyfriend or a friend. And then, after I had started my yoga wear line called Confused Girl in the City, I had this friend and she would solo travel and she was very eccentric and amazing and I was always envious because she'd come back and tell me all these stories about these adventures she had and I was just so envious and then I thought, well, stop being envious of her.
Speaker 2:Obviously, this is something you want, so let's ask her about it. So I asked her about it. Like, do you get lonely? Do you ever feel unsafe? And I'm like you know I can do this. After that conversation, I'm like I can do this. So I like prepared myself and the first trip I said, okay, let's go to Europe, because I'm pretty comfortable in Europe. And so I went to Europe by myself and went around to different cities I'd never been before. And after that trip I was in love with solo travel. And after that trip I was in love with solo travel.
Speaker 1:Nice, yeah, that's my biggest thing too. I'm such a wallflower and Cheryl knows I was like I could travel with you or but I don't for her. She's like I could totally do solo trips. I love solo travel. I'm like I'm not brave enough, like that is a, that is a thing, that is a. It must be really a fabulous thing, but I'm not quite there yet.
Speaker 3:And I would love to. I haven't had the opportunity yet, you know, with the kids and then the transitions between kids and being empty nester. But what you had said was why don't I do it? You said I'm envious of this, why don't? What's holding me back? And then you're like I can do this. And I was like you know what? I couldn't? There's nothing holding me back right now, so it's just doing it. So what advice would you give someone who is feeling lost and thinking of taking that solo trip? Or like Denise and I are it's in the back of our minds but we just haven't jumped into it yet. What kind of advice would you give that confused girl jumped into it?
Speaker 2:yet what kind of advice would you give that confused girl? I would say you know, if you meet somebody like me, definitely talk to me, because I, you know, I was even alone in Italy and I was having lunch and the waitress she's like can I take you out for coffee? You know, she asked me some questions. I told her I was solo traveling and she's like can I take you to coffee? And and um, ask you some questions about how you do this, cause I want to start doing it. So it's like taking initiative like that, and actually her and I became friends.
Speaker 2:I partied with her and her friends in Italy. So that's the thing about solo travel You'll, you're never really alone. I always meet people, because people actually are really inspired by being a woman doing it on her own and they really are kind of like touched by it, and so, um, I I would say also, you don't have to go to a different country or do something super intense like that you can go to, you can take drive to a nearby city, you know, or another town, and just go start smaller yeah, yeah, yeah, like, go through the muse, like just take, take the day and be like I don't have anything to do today.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm going to, I'm going to go to this town or city next to me by myself. I'm going to go to a nice lunch spot, sit at the bar, have a nice lunch. Then I'm going to go to the museum. I've been wanting to go to that museum. I'm going to go there, go, just start kind of doing things like that alone. And and then you know, and then you and then you could just go from there, because I didn't immediately go from talking to my friend about solo travel to then moving to Indonesia by myself, like no, I did Europe and then. And then I would do other solo trips by you know, by myself. Like no, I did Europe, and then I would do other solo trips by myself. Then, after like a year and a half of doing that, I was like okay, and I got inspired to write my book and I'm like I want to write it in a different country. And then I moved to Bali for a year and then Berlin for a year. So it started out smaller, it wasn't just this.
Speaker 1:Intensity, baby steps. You got to baby step it. We were just talking, it's all full circle. We were just talking about that, like you know, you don't just, you don't just plow into something. It takes motivation Sometimes. You have to baby step it, like you just take little steps towards the goal that you want to get to so it doesn't seem so intimidating.
Speaker 3:And it was interesting when you said you know, going to this lunch place by yourself, because one of the hardest things I started to do on my own was to go eat by myself at a restaurant. Like that was one of the hardest. I just felt so awkward, like do I take my book? This was before we like obviously we're using our phones so much, but I, even when I was in school and college I was like, go take my work. I always felt like I had to be doing something. I couldn't just be in the moment and people watch. I always felt awkward. It took that was a big step just to go to dinner or lunch by myself. So that's interesting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I, I definitely see that. I definitely get that because, um, it's kind of like eating alone as a woman. It's like, oh, lonely lady, you know, kind of feel like that, like, oh, are people wondering why I'm alone? And and especially probably like back in the day. But now I mean it's so common and, yeah, bring a book or um, when I'm traveling and I'm eating out a lot, I'll just watch something on my phone. I'll watch the news or whatever, some videos and um, and then I really enjoy. I really enjoy eating and watching stuff. So so I mean I'll watch things, or, you know, or if I'm at like a fancy place, like a nicer place, like I, you know, won't watch anything, I'll just kind of people watch like, especially in a different country, because everybody, you know people dress differently, they have different routines.
Speaker 1:I would be people watching, probably, in that scenario, but I think it comes back to what you said before, which is you're constantly trying to be something for somebody else and you're more concerned about what other people think of you than finding your happiness and being happy with yourself. I think that is something as women we're always trying to be something for somebody else, whether it's a friend, a daughter, a mother, you know whatever. We're always trying to be there for somebody else, and and we kind of tend to put ourselves last. So that's, that's something that we need to learn as women to um, to you gotta, you, gotta fill your cup before you can give to others.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I'm sure writing a book, there's a lot that goes into it. What was? Was there a chapter that was more challenging, like emotionally, to write that where you had to really like. It was very challenging for you to write that where you had to really like. It was very challenging for you to write that emotionally.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, I would say that we're like kind of what I said before was the um, the depression stuff, and just going back through how I felt and the like things I was thinking, and it was just it made me so, it made me so sad, like, like, oh, you know, and and and also like sad because of what I know. Now, you know it's, it was silly also, like it was so silly to make yourself feel so bad and and and that's when I really realized that we, we carry this shame. See, like guilt I write about this in my book guilt and shame. So like guilt has to do with you know, I went off on somebody and I feel bad and you know it's like a situation or something you did where shame is has to do with the self, like I feel like there's something inherently wrong with me or not right or not good, and I, we, we carry this shame, especially as women. You know, we're even shameful about like our periods, like, oh, don't, don't show the tampons and don't you know? Um, like there is this about our sexuality. You know there's a shame that goes with that, and so we kind of carry this and I mean, I think everybody carries shame and it depends also on, you know, the religion you grew up with as well.
Speaker 2:Different things in society had all of this shame, and it can even be generational. I felt a lot of stuff came from my father's side with that. Like old school Italian, they went through wars and you know, and in Italy too, in small villages, they're very concerned about what other people are thinking, and you've got to look like you have the best family and you've got to look like you're so great, and so it's this shame of like, not not like. Oh, I feel shameful because I don't have all the answers, or I feel shameful because I didn't get into that college, or I feel shameful because I got fired or whatever it is you know, or I'm not married yet, or it's just like this, like shadow of shame, and I'm like I got to get rid of this.
Speaker 2:And, and I did, and one of the funny things that I ended up doing, um, which I just totally made this up and I write about this I would walk on the beach, cause I live close to the beach in LA Nice walk, yeah, so nice. And then I'd walk to the beach and I would, um, uh, imagine having a backpack on and that my shame was in my backpack, anything, I also I felt guilty about my shame, whatever it was. And then I I really thought about it and I I felt it heavy on my back, like I was kind of hunching over, because it was like weighing me down. And then I would put my back to the ocean and I would like release it very theatrically, like release my invisible backpack into the water, visualize it getting like from me. And that really helped and I would do it every day and I don't feel that way anymore, like that shame that was bogging me down. I don't have that anymore. You let it go, I let it go.
Speaker 3:It took some time to get that, but I got into the habit. That's what I was going to say. You've gotten the habit to where it didn't have to build up to be a backpack size before you were able to release it. I think that's super important to acknowledge and think about that. It can be something as a physical representation of letting something that's not physical go.
Speaker 3:We actually have done this at a beach trip where we would write things down on like a little piece of paper and then we burned it and buried like kind of left it at the beach, and then we did shells and release our wishes, good wishes, out because we wanted out in the world. And I remember the feeling that we need to do more of that. That's what makes me think of it is because the way we felt after we did that was just cleansing and we were ready to move on for whatever came next. And we haven't done it again. And the fact that you did that daily until it became a habit and then you didn't necessarily need the beach, I'm assuming like it got to a point where you didn't have to be at the beach to let it go. It became part of the way you process and let it and released.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, I just became very aware when that like shadow was coming, and then I would just, yeah, exactly Visualize it going. You know what? This isn't mine and this isn't how I believe, and this isn't real, and you know. And so, yeah, and I, I do believe in rituals like what you did at the beach, like I think that's very, very powerful. Rituals are very powerful, um there's, they're very intentional and then I think they helped connect everything, like your spirit, your physical, your mind, to do what you're intending to do. Um, another ritual I did that I write about was I had this locket and it was just like an empty locket and I I didn't know what I was going to put in there, so it just had remained empty. And then I went on this date with this guy and I just felt very insecure. He was kind of rude, so I felt so bad after that date, like so unworthy and not beautiful, and so after that I had these big, these like headshot pictures of me.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 2:I cut out my eye one of my eyes from the headshot picture and I put my eye in the locket and and I said I'm going to wear this until I only see myself through my own eyes. I was like tired of seeing myself through other, like validating myself through other people's eyes, and I was like no, I want to only see myself through my own eyes.
Speaker 3:It's very interesting because Denise you talked about we actually did a session on this with our other travel agents and Denise led it you talked about mirror what was it called?
Speaker 1:Mirror, talking, talking to yourself in a mirror, like talking to yourself and you know, giving yourself positive affirmations and letting things go. And I do like what you said about letting things go, and it did remind me of our beach trip, cheryl, where we wanted to want the biggest thing that we were was bothering us at the time and write it on a piece of paper. And then we we put these little papers into a little ball and we lit them on fire and let the ashes become ashes and then we buried them and left them there. But what I will say is we had a group of six people and all of those ladies, the, the number one thing for most of us, a majority of us, was guilt, and that is the thing we all wrote. We feel guilty for whatever, for whatever reason, not even because we should, because that's what we're taught to feel.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean as women. Um, so I I think that's so interesting that you have a chapter in your book for that and and I think that it's it's we're all very relatable. It's very relatable. Everything you're saying is very relatable and and I think it'll be an amazing book. I can't wait to read it. So that is pretty cool.
Speaker 3:When you were writing the book and you did, you find yourself becoming less confused, or by the end, was it more about accepting the confusion or was it trying to get through being confused?
Speaker 2:When I was writing it. When I was writing it, I felt like I already had a good foundation, and I the thing is is I'm always going to be confused about something right, like always going to have moments of confusion. I mean, I'm sure, like even you know, when you become an empty nester, you're be confused about that. Or if you get a divorce, or if you got married again, or if so, you know, somebody gets sick, and there's always going to things are going to happen where you're going to have some level of confusion, because that's just life right it's life, yep, life.
Speaker 2:So it's for me, um, I, I. What I was writing about was stuff that I had been confused about, but I had figured out. Okay, and so the next book will be the be the pickup from this one. Actually, let me ask you, ladies, I would. This is so yesterday I it's so funny because I really do I not even intentionally, but I do work with like the way where the plant, when the planets are aligning and the moon phases and all this stuff. Because you know, like a few weeks ago it was not a good time to start new projects and then, all of a sudden, now it's a good time, according to like the planets and everything. And yesterday I was. I was just doing a walk on the beach and then I was like, oh my God, I have to get everything I want to write about my second book on paper. I just felt this need to get a creative juices flowing.
Speaker 2:And because I had been taught, I talked about it, I had it in my head, but I was like it's not time yet, it's not time yet. And then it was all of a sudden. It was just like you got to do this, Right. So I so I so I started getting it all, you know, all on paper.
Speaker 2:And the second book is going to be like right before my dad died, because so my book was rejected for two and a half years, you know, I was kind of working like social media gigs, you know, and my father was dying, so I couldn't really do start anything else because I was so concentrating on him.
Speaker 2:I was just like making a little income on the side at that moment, and it was just a really I'm just like making a little income on the side at that moment and it was just a really I'm just like hanging on by a thread, Right, and. But I'm doing actually pretty good because because of everything in this book you know, so I'm handling it fairly well. So then, um, two, two months before my father dies, two publishing companies have a bidding war on my book. So then my dad passes and I, it's literally um, the greatest tragedy of my life coupled with the greatest opportunity of my life, which is very weird, Like that's already very crazy. So then my dad wants to be buried in Italy, so we've got to figure out how to get his body to Italy, because Italians don't want to be cremated. Catholics don't want to be cremated.
Speaker 2:I mean it was just, and then so many funny things happen. Very dark, comedy-esque. So I and it's going to be about how it, how like beauty comes of all things and that's the theme of the second book. So I came up with a name last night and I still want it to be confused girl because I want it to be like a series. But I want to call it confused girl, love, loss and cannolis oh yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1:What do you got, you guys?
Speaker 3:like it. Yes, I love it. I like, I embrace the when, when, tread, when the. I embrace dark humor. We, we are very we have to find laughter and it and it's not always appropriate laughter, but it's just how we cope process and get you through it.
Speaker 3:Yeah yeah, and I liked how? Because you have got the love, loss and cannoli. Because when I see that I'm a title person, I'm more of a title person than a cover art. Sometimes I can't stand cover art. I feel like it can be misleading. I was actually just doing the kindle and or the kindle, what was it? Yes, it was like one day this week they had the stuff your kindle and I will go through and I hate the cover. I I want to see the title. That's what gets me and what I pick up from that is we're going to hear about. She's got some part going on. And love doesn't always mean romantic. It means to me, passionate about the next step in your career. It could be passionate about whatever movement, the loss, it could be anything. And then the cannoli that means she's got some. I'm thinking this is what I'm thinking about the author when I'm reading it is there's going to be some sass or some dark humor. That's what I'm thinking when I see that title. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:There's going to be like Italian love affairs. There's going to be crazy stuff going on there's I mean it's going to have everything, yeah, it's. Yeah, I've like family drama. It's gonna have sex. It's gonna have eating a lot of good eating. It's gonna have grief, managing grief, it's gonna be all of it and that's a good title.
Speaker 1:I think that's a great title I love that title and to me, when I, when I because I'm like Cheryl we're so funny because we're so similar and we're so different, and I think that's kind of what makes us work.
Speaker 1:Um, like when I'm picking out a wine label, when I'm like Cheryl, we're so funny because we're so similar and we're so different, and I think that's kind of what makes us work, like when I'm picking out a wine label, when I'm picking out a bottle of wine, I'll look at the label and if it has a fun like blingy or sassy label, I don't necessarily care what the name of it is, but if it has a beautiful label that I'm drawn to, I'm going to be more likely to try that one.
Speaker 1:So I think you, I think that everybody is drawn in through either sites or or or words. But I love that title because because to me that says there is going to be, there's going to be funny stuff, there's going to be dark stuff, there's going to be hard stuff and light stuff, and and then the cannoli at the end shows me that it's going to have some kind of a twist where it's not all. At the end of the day, we're having both light and dark and we're taking it all in, because that is life. Life is all of that. It is love, it is loss and it is cannolis.
Speaker 2:Yeah, beauty comes of all things.
Speaker 1:Yes, I love it. I think that's a great name.
Speaker 3:That's exciting that you were able to finally get it out, because when that happens it's like plunging. Sometimes you just have to dive off the deep end when this moment strikes, because if you hesitate it could be so long before you get that back, and I've learned that a lot.
Speaker 2:I'm so crazy because I didn't even have a lot of energy yesterday but I had to drop something off the post office. Post office is next to the beach, so I was like, let me go on a walk and get my walk in, you know, get my steps in. So I was getting my steps in and I was walking on the sand and burning more calories and then all of a sudden I was like just looking at the water and I'm like I got to get this on paper Like, and I got to do it now. So I was actually narrating it like talk to text. You know, I was like narrating it like as I was walking and I, oh gosh, and then I kind of ended up doing it like the whole night until like midnight.
Speaker 3:I was about to ask how do you, when those moments strike, are you a paper to pen, are you a digital like, or is it more voice?
Speaker 2:How do you capture that I'm more paper to pen, like I'm more like sit down and, like you know, type it out. But this moment just like hit me and I just wanted to talk it out. So, I didn't have my computer. I was on the beach so it was like, and I was like, what if? How fun is this? Like looking out at the water? I'm narrating my second book Like yeah, I was like this is a moment. Okay, this is a moment. Oh, I love that.
Speaker 1:That is awesome. That is awesome. So, uh, what would you say? So you talked about your second book, so we know that you have that coming up. Um, what would you say to like. So what would you say to the younger self version of you for confused girl? Like, if you were to take that younger girl, what would you say to her about the book that you wrote and and what would you tell her to get out of that book?
Speaker 2:I would just say you know you, you don't, don't put so much pressure on yourself. Like everything takes itself out and you have a lot of time, so you know your life isn't ending once you turn 30, like it goes on and beautiful things are coming. So just enjoy more, don't, don't put so much pressure on yourself and and just trust that everything's going to work out, cause it was just fear. Then there was so much fear and now I fear fear will come now, but I, I just I kind of go okay. No, not, I'm not diving into you Like I'm. I'm choosing to trust and have faith. It's like a conscious choice, right?
Speaker 3:Yeah, and sometimes fear can be a motivator because it will get you to the next step. It's either I need to just move on from what's making me afraid or I need to embrace it and control it and get past it. So I think, like you said, embracing that moment and just don't be bogged down. That that's a very. There's that trend going on TikTok right now where they would say I think it's like it's a good picture of yourself or video that you liked, and then it's like a year from now, this person's doing XYZ. Or if I tell myself something five years ago, it's because I'm doing great now or because I went through something, but I'm doing awesome on the other side. Having that moment of reflection, it goes back to what Denise talks about with the mirror talk. Don't ever say something to yourself that you wouldn't say to your best friend, your daughter, your mom. But also, what would you say to yourself five years from now? What do you want to be saying to yourself five years from now?
Speaker 2:Yes, it's so true, and I actually was asked that, and I would say keep having fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's a good answer. Keep having fun, because in what I think that we need to remember when we're always worried about what other people think of us is, at the end of the day, we're all resting with our own souls at the end of the day and we are in charge of our happiness our own happiness. We can't rely on anybody else to make us happy. So I think that I feel like that's definitely probably a good takeaway.
Speaker 1:Like I feel like you kind of get that out of the book, like you always had this pressure to get into the good college or represent the Italian family or, you know, do be the good Italian daughter that you're supposed to be, and you were never really. You were always like I have this expectation and this expectation on me and this expectation on me, but what do I really want for me? And then why? How can I make myself happy? Because these people are all expecting this out of me, but I, at the end of the day, I want to be happy and they can't do that for me. I have to do that for myself, and I think that is part of the journey and part of maturing and getting through the hard times is realizing that.
Speaker 2:Absolutely no. That was so beautifully said, it's so true. And you kind of get to this point too where you're like nobody really cares about me anyway, because they're too concentrated on themselves to really care about me. So why am I caring what other people think? And I see people doing this in there as they get older too, like a lot of people don't grow out of it, like they're constantly trying to keep up with the Joneses and care what people think. And, honestly, people are thinking. Mature people are thinking why do you care what other people are thinking so much? Why are you? That's what they're thinking.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. So what do you do? You have any future travel plans coming up? I know the like. We said the book's coming out soon, and where can we, where can our listeners grab your pre-order your book from?
Speaker 2:Well, okay, so. So right now, no travel plans, because I'm just concentrating on my book launch. But travel plans come up for me just like that. So I just, and I don't know, I feel like I might be doing some traveling for the book this summer. So I'm kind of just seeing how things unfold, which is the way I live my life, just let it unfold and then, oh yes, okay.
Speaker 2:So actually I have something really exciting to disclose I'm doing a pre-order giveaway. So if you pre-order the book and send me a screenshot, email me a screenshot of your order, you'll enter to win a two night stay in Maui and an ocean front room and a hundred dollar gift card to my store. So I'll, I'll give. I can send you guys the link um the giveaway and we'll get that info out to everybody.
Speaker 3:That's awesome. Yes, that's exciting. What?
Speaker 1:if I win, I want to go to.
Speaker 2:Maui and also. Oh so my you can. You can find all this information on my website confused girl in the citycom. You can also find it on my Instagram at confused girl LA and yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we can. We can plug your your Amazon link to the book in there and on when we publish this, when we release this, so we'll get all that good stuff out to our listeners. Very exciting, perfect.
Speaker 3:Well, thank you so much for joining us today. I am so excited about reading your book. I feel like the conversation came at the perfect time. I think that stuff like that, because we have been meeting and trying to schedule this cause everybody's schedules are so busy. So I think this happened when it was supposed to and I have enjoyed chatting with you and yes, so thank you for joining us today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we wish you all the best with your book release and your next book and, um, maybe we'll make it out to LA and the divas will, uh, meet up.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, I would so love that. Definitely contact me if you come to LA. You guys are great. I appreciate you. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely All right, guys. That's going to wrap up today's episode. We hope you enjoyed it. And go get confused, girl you.
