Suitcase Divas: Travel Agent Tips, Tricks & Travel Tales

Am I The A**hole? Christmas Edition!

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Holiday cheer meets hard choices, and we’re not pulling any punches. We wade into five real “Am I the A**hole?” dilemmas that hit every pressure point of the season: a mom skipping a ski trip while 22 weeks pregnant with triplets, divorced parents clashing over “two Santas,” a last‑minute Thanksgiving disinvite after a stepfamily slight, a young family refusing the Christmas Day tour to protect nap schedules and sanity, and a guest with a severe nut allergy walking out when the table wasn’t safe.

We talk through what’s tradition and what’s pressure, why “family first” only works when health and safety come first, and how to create new rituals without declaring war on the old ones. You’ll hear where we draw lines on high‑risk pregnancy travel, why Santa shouldn’t become a co‑parenting scoreboard, how language can make or break belonging for stepkids, and what real accommodation looks like for life‑threatening allergies. We also untangle the classic group trip headache—money fairness, room swaps, and the one relative who expects everyone else to foot the bill—and share practical ways to set expectations before resentment takes the wheel.

If your holidays feel like a juggling act of logistics, emotions, and competing needs, this conversation is a reality check and a relief. Come for the drama, stay for the playbook: scripts for saying no without guilt, simple safety rules for shared meals, and ideas for making magic at home when travel just isn’t it. Listen, vote on each story, and then tell us where you stand. If this hits home, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a quick review so more listeners can find us.

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SPEAKER_02:

Alrighty then. Welcome guys to Suitcase Diva's podcast. I am Denise, and my lovely host is Jackie, Jackie G. And today we are gonna do something super fun. We are in late mid-December, going into late. It's really only what 15 days till Christmas. So we're we're in the thick of the holiday season. If you have not started shopping yet, you better get going because you're a little behind. Okay, but enough about that. So this episode today, what we're doing is Am I the Asshole holiday edition? And everybody loves this, right? So Jackie, why don't you start us off with your first Am I the Asshole holiday edition? Who's naughty and or nice? You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, all right. So let's go ahead and kick this off. So the question is Am I the asshole for refusing to go on family vacation and ruining it for everyone else? Okay, so here's the story. Every year, the first week of the year, my mother-in-law and my stepfather-in-law take their kids and now their family's on a vacation. This started because both have kids from other marriages, and it's been hard and chaotic to try to work out Christmas with the other parents. So they started to celebrate, you know, Christmas there. Okay. So they always go to a place where they can go skiing or snowboarding. Oh, I do not like cold.

SPEAKER_02:

I'll pass.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly. That's where I need to be. So this person says, I cannot ski or snowboard. I've never made a big deal of it. And I would just go tubing or to the spa, see, and just generally relax while they're out. Okay. So in 2022, I was pregnant, so couldn't go tubing. I also had a one-year-old. So I went out with him in the snow and played, walked around, hung out of the room. Last year I had three kids. Oh my word. My now two-year-old and two seven-month-olds. Oh, bless her heart. And was pretty much stuck in a non-baby proofed room with them all week. Oh my God. It wasn't an enjoyable experience. And I did it for the sake of tradition. I, oh my gosh, three kids under the age of three. That's wow.

SPEAKER_01:

Wow.

SPEAKER_00:

This year. Oh my word. This year I was also pregnant again with triplets.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, honey, you better slow your role.

SPEAKER_00:

I told my husband I would rather not go this year because I don't want to be far from the hospital in case I don't have the energy to keep it with the three toddlers in another non-baby proofed room. And since all I'd be doing is watching kids, I'd rather do it at home where we're comfortable, right? So he said he understood, didn't mind if I did it go. Okay. He told his mom she wasn't happy about it, really wanted the kids to be there, but she was okay with it. All right. Okay. Sounding good. Now, when our husband arrived at the vacation, his mom apparently lost it, started crying, ran to her room. The father-in-law said she had hoped he would bring the kids because now it's not a family vacation. And she was apparently sad for the entire time. And my husband said he just wanted to enjoy some time with his family. And if he brought the kids, he'd be spending time with his kids in a hotel room. So then they moved to me. Why couldn't she come and watch the kids? She's not that far along. She's 22 weeks pregnant with triplets. Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

That's not that far along.

SPEAKER_00:

Right? With triplets. She's watching the kids at home anyway. She could do it here, etc. Now she had said my husband stuck up for me. Okay. Ah, okay. Wow. So to wrap it up, we mainly ignored this after the trip, didn't talk about it. They asked if they could come down for a surprise party in February. It's a pretty easy no because she would be 29 weeks with triplets by that point. And her husband pretty much told his mom, you know, the floodgates have opened, every possible slate committed against them is coming out, but mainly her skipping the vacation was ruining it for the family. So the question is, is she the asshole?

SPEAKER_02:

This one's way too easy. She actually is not the asshole. Oh my gosh. And I think it's a little presumptuous for the family to expect her to just waddle around and keep the reign the kids in while she's pregnant with triplets, and they don't even care that she has that she doesn't ski and that she's just there watching the kids. That's right. Absolutely. They they need to be more supportive, and she absolutely is not. That's right.

SPEAKER_00:

What are your thoughts? How can you say, oh, well, she's watching the kids at home? Why can't she do it here? It I mean, we're as a mom, and you're a mom, you know. I mean, how hard is it to pack up three young kids and take them on vacation, let alone doing that while pregnant with three children? Like she's about to have six kids. I would feel like she might want to be at home at 22. Are you even allowed to travel with triplets?

SPEAKER_02:

Isn't there like a I mean, I would think that would be considered high risk with triplets? Right. But um, I don't I don't feel bad at all. I understand why she would want to stay home. And you know, she might want to consider some birth control in the future.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I will say there was an overwhelming amount of votes. There was over 4,000 votes for her being the asshole. So thank you to you know the general public and the community for sticking up for her because she is super mom.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, for real. Yeah, I definitely I I think yeah, that was an easy one. That was one. I do have something similar, it's not quite the same, but let's see if that's my number one. Okay, it is not, but we'll get to that one. So am I the asshole for thinking it's not okay for my ex to do Santa even when it's my year? So here's their situation. I have children ages 16, 14, 12, and nine. These people like to have a lot of kids. My my motto is never let them outnumber you.

SPEAKER_01:

These people do not see that's what it is.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, so the nine-year-old still believes in Santa. My ex-wife and I have been divorced for five years. We share time on Christmas no matter whose day it is, and we alternate every other year who has them for Christmas. Santa wake up. Makes sense. Except Santa Claus comes to my ex's house whether it's her year or mine. Am I the asshole for not wanting her to do Santa when it's my year? Her excuse is that she told my nine-year-old that Santa knows where they live at her house too. So not only are we now competing on Santa's, but she's putting me in the position of doing Santa at my house on her year if the logic represented itself that my nine-year-old is to be preserved. So she's essentially saying, even when it's her year, now she has to give presence too. Right. So I guess so then she says, I guess I could be the asshole for denying my kids two rounds of Santas every year. Except I don't think it should be dueling Santas. The lifestyles, shall we say, are by no means equivalent between our two houses. So am I the asshole? What are your thoughts, Jackie?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, hmm. That's kind of like I can be a little conflicting. Like I want to say no because I understand, you know, having that something special and it's your year to do that something special, you know, for your kid. And it can kind of take away if they're like, oh, well, now I get at both houses. Like it's not special that it's at your house anymore. I mean, you know, who knows about their connection? But I can kind of see that because I mean, it if you're if your child does believe in Santa, I mean, as the story goes, he goes to every single house, regardless, no matter what. And children going back and forth between a home could feel that. Like, oh, does Santa know, you know, that we're separated? I feel like you can get, you know, really deep into that too. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_02:

I think we should have done a disclaimer being like, can you have the children?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, this one's not for a kid. Don't let your kids hear this, okay? I'm sorry if I ruined anyone's belief. I don't want to take away any child's belief in magic, okay? Santa's real, okay? At least until a certain age. He's very real. But well, if we're gonna preserve that belief, you know, you you're kind of you're kind of ruining it, or you gotta explain how Santa knows which house to go to. So I kind of want to say no. That he that they're not the asshole, because I get that, wanting it to be special. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, the overwhelming answer was yes, you are the asshole.

SPEAKER_00:

See, there's me trying to be nice and see both sides of it because I'm like away.

SPEAKER_02:

So they're essentially saying Santa doesn't skip houses, he does every house with a Christmas tree. Right. I expect both of you to be getting your children presents regardless of whose turn it is, and addressing some of the some from the Santa to the nine-year-old. And then somebody else said, Christmas Day should not be about you competing with your ex-wife. And then another person says, Two Christmases is one of the few highlights of divorced kids. Suck it up and have fun with it. Yeah. And then the one last one I will say is as long as you believe Santa is real. That's what my mom told me. And I'm still believing and I'm still getting my stock infilled.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly. Santa's real. Are you kidding? Santa's real.

SPEAKER_02:

Last round every year. Totally believe it. The overwhelming was, you know, suck it up and let the poor child. My question, just when I was reading this, is why isn't the nine-year-old being like, what's wrong with Tom and James and Jimmy? Like, what's the 16-year-olds not getting any Santa gifts? The 15-year-olds not getting like that, would be a bigger question to me for my nine-year-olds, like, you know, is it all bad? Are they all naughty? Like, and I'm the only good one. Because that to me is so hard when you have older kids and younger kids. Unless you're just not that observant.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I don't know. I mean, I'm the oldest of five, and I feel like my younger siblings would not question at all if I got less gifts than them on Christmas. I feel like they would just be like, guess you were bad this year. So, you know, I mean, I get it. If the nine-year-old's not questioning, as if I was a nine-year-old, I'd be like, Man, I am lucking out. And my siblings need to get it together because I'm the golden child.

SPEAKER_01:

Like, right?

SPEAKER_00:

I would feel you know, top of the world. So that's funny.

SPEAKER_02:

That is funny. Well, so apparently, the in my situation, majority of people are like, Yeah, that's not cool, man. You just gotta suck it up and do Santa houses.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I guess that. I guess that. See, I gotta stop having a soft spot for people. No, you don't have to stop. Don't ever stop being you know, yes. All right, so this one's a little, this one's a little short one. Okay, and now this one is about Thanksgiving, but still in the holiday season. Okay. Okay. So am I an asshole for disinviting my mom to Thanksgiving four days before the holiday? And not gonna lie, just by the title, I kind of want to put judgment, but um, let's read it. Let's see what they have to say. So I am a very involved stepmother, have been for 20 years, raised my stepdaughters in my home. I don't ever call them stepdaughters, you know, only using the term for the sake of the story. Okay. So she has a teenage granddaughter, and the mom and my mom texted me saying that she thinks my brother's son has a crush on my granddaughter. Again, this is a step-granddaughter. I replied they're related, to which she said they're not really related. And I responded that it was offensive to say that my granddaughter's not really related, and I do not want my mother to come for the holiday. So I guess some background on the mom, there was some, you know, questionable parenting behavior that had happened kind of throughout the years, come up at family events. Mom might have created issues before around positive family events. So, you know, she just kind of wanted to protect that. She says that mom's made little comments about her daughters not being her real daughters over the years. That's not nice. Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_02:

Not necessary.

SPEAKER_00:

So, and yeah, the comment about you know, the nephew having a crush or whatever was made through the family.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm trying to, I'm trying to process this. Is the grandma saying she thinks it's okay that the stepgrandson has a crush on the other girl? I guess is what they're not really blood related.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so she's saying that her daughter's stepkids and granddaughter are not her daughters or not her. Right. So the question is, am I overreacting? And am I the asshole for cutting her out of spending the holiday based on that remark?

SPEAKER_02:

Hmm. I think that one's got layers because I mean, I guess it just I try not to judge on what other families do with because this actually just came up interestingly enough. You know, the 18-year-old that just got killed on that carnival cruise. She was she was 18, but she was put in a room to sleep with her 16-year-old brother and her her 16-year-old stepbrother, who they're also saying had a major crush on her, and they think that she he's the one that killed her, and maybe because of unquieted love. So that things could go a little awry, but I I yeah, I don't know. I don't think that she is the asshole for not letting her because maybe she had that weird feeling, kind of like Spidey sense. Like, if he's got a crush on her, and that's my daughter, whether it's your stepdaughter or daughter, you don't want another family member crushing on your child, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00:

If it's right, and just the comments from the mom, too. You know, after 20 plus years, you're not recognizing the stepdaughters as daughters or their children as part of the family, like that can definitely be hurtful.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, I think it gets complicated though. So without knowing really all of it, except for the they had had issues with her parenting style in the past. I think if it's your house and you are the one that's hosting, then you have every right to uninvite whomever at that point, based on the way that you feel, and that you don't want there to be turmoil over the holidays for whatever reason.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. So I will say surprisingly, the vote is that she is the asshole. And the comments are saying that she was overreacting.

SPEAKER_02:

They're not the daughter that uninvited her mom is the actress.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep, they're saying that she's the asshole for uninviting her mom. Some people are said before throwing her own mother out, you should check your own parenting styles. And again, I mean, I read the whole thing, it was very short, so I don't know that there was a lot of context.

SPEAKER_02:

Not a lot of context clues, huh?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I I mean I do see a little bit of a mix, but a lot of people say that she was wrong for disinviting her mom because the kids aren't really related, it shouldn't be that big of a deal, and that's your mom, which you know, so it is divided, it's layered. So I think that that one's trickier, I believe.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I I think that one's a little trickier. Let us know what you think. Yeah, I'd be curious to know what the do you think that she is because the vote would be on the I think that one's a little trickier. I'd be interested to see what our listeners come back with on that one. Okay, so this one is kind of similar to your last one, but different also. So am I the asshole? Female 30 pregnant. My husband is 37. We've decided that this year for Christmas, we're gonna stay home with our one-year-old, currently the only grandchild for my side of the family. In years past, we've always gone to both of my in-law, both my in-laws and my family for Christmas Day. My husband and I always had the goal to stay at home in our home with our family on Christmas Day. We do not enjoy ramming around all day, the country all day, and having a small child. It exhausts him and it makes it hard for him to nap, thus, he's a miserable child. And past this past June, both of our families we told them that we're staying at home on Christmas Day. My family's response was that's okay, we totally understand, no problem. Now, when the holiday season is here, I've reached out to my family multiple times to ask when we could do Christmas as an extended family on another day. I also have made it known that my house will be open to anybody that wants to come visit. I'll be making Christmas dinner, and I was sure my family would want to see my son. My brother seems fine with it, and this is when my mother, my father, and my sister all began to try to guilt me. When I bring it up that my parents started a tradition of staying home, I'm told that wasn't until we were teenagers, and I'm keeping my small child, soon to be children, away from their house on Christmas Day. Also, that I'm not putting in the effort like my parents did when they all had young children. They refuse to set a different date to do Christmas altogether. They keep telling me that I'm an asshole because I'm ruining Christmas for everybody else by being selfish and not coming on Christmas Day to my parents. They told me that I'm making the holiday season depressing and I'm keeping my son from them. I'm simply ruining the holiday. I understand the tradition for my parents and siblings, but I want to start a new tradition with my family. I'm starting to feel the pressure, so I have to ask, am I the asshole? And they also said that it is. I offered Christmas on a different day once my mother began telling me that she wasn't, she didn't think they would get together on Christmas Day if we weren't all together, especially my son. And it was so sad without him. I encouraged my siblings to still go to my parents' Christmas Day, and I'm not stopping anyone else from going. And I just offered another day to keep the peace by still having a big family get together.

SPEAKER_00:

So um I would say she is not the asshole. I mean, that's a very reasonable request. Not only do you want to build your own family traditions, you have a small child out during the holiday.

SPEAKER_02:

She's pregnant too. They didn't say how far along, but she's just saying she did they've done it for they've done it for the last couple years, obviously while she was pregnant, and now the baby's one, and then now she's got another one on the way. And she's just saying she did invite anybody that wanted to come to her house there.

SPEAKER_00:

So exactly. So I think that's I mean, that would kind of be on her family, you know, to kind of say, like, one, you should respect it. And if you want to see the child, you go see the child. Like, think about the child safety in that one. But yeah, no, I don't think she's the asshole. And she offered other days, she's opened it up to other people, and her siblings can make their own decisions. You know, if they're choosing not to go because she's not going, that just sounds like an excuse to me. So I would say she is not.

SPEAKER_02:

I agree, I do agree. And most of the feedback also said you're not the asshole, you're not keeping your son away from them. You've made it clear they're welcome to come to your house. It's easier for your parents to travel than it is for you to try to crowd your family. It's selfish for them to demand you travel while pregnant and have a one year old. Other people said, you know, you're creating your own Christmas traditions with your new family, your extended family needs to respect that. So, I mean for The most part everybody agreed that she's definitely not the asshole. Yeah, I think that one was easier, you know what I mean? Especially since she offered alternate days and she opened her house to everybody to come there. That's a lot of work while you're pregnant to host. But she she offered that, you know.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, the fact that she's still making Christmas dinner and everything, and and starting a new tradition, like you know, that should be respected in the family and encouraged, you know.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and for them to say they're not even gonna all get together if she's not coming because the one-year-old is what's making or breaking the holiday, that's a lot of pressure to put on somebody, right? I don't think that that's necessarily fair either. So I think we're all in agreement that she's not. I absolutely got Jackie G for your third story.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, so this one is a little longer and it does involve one of my favorite places on earth. Not the exact location, but still we get to talk a little bit of Disney. Okay. Am I the asshole for ruining my family's holiday? Okay, now I will say this does take place over the pond. Okay, so we are going to be talking about UK and Okay. Okay. So this person is an 18-year-old female. Okay. She's a I have a large family who live everywhere. So we have a holiday every three years. My grandma lives in the UK, but it's four hours away, meaning they don't get to see her often. She's got two younger cousins, ages nine and eleven, live about 10 minutes from grandmom and their grandparents. Okay. So they had planned the family holiday about two years ahead of time. She has an aunt named Emma who's always very picky about where we go. You know, there's always that family member.

SPEAKER_02:

There's always that one.

SPEAKER_00:

Always that one. Okay. So this is the aunt who, you know, turns down everyone else's idea, has an excuse if it's too expensive, too. Whatever. Okay. So that's the aunt. So this holiday, the aunt again wanted to go to Disney World, which I mean, hands down. Okay. And however, the idea of a theme park isn't an ideal holiday getaway for the majority of the family. Apparently, they're a very tall family, and some of the rides are very uncomfortable. And they couldn't come over to America because it was just kind of, you know, not feasible for that time. Okay. So when the point was raised, the aunt was kind of like, I guess the call, the comment of drinking age came up. You know, it is different in Europe than it is here.

SPEAKER_02:

So it's 18 over there?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. So 18 they could drink, but coming to, you know, America, they can't.

SPEAKER_02:

That's a very listen, holidays can be stressful, you might.

SPEAKER_00:

That's a very good point. So when this were right. So when this point came up, Aunt Emma was like, Why would you need to drink? Why do you need someone to look after the kids when we go out drinking?

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, not a mirror, Emma.

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to America. So this is how we cope. So this person, like, I kind of looked at her and was like, Well, you know, it's my holiday too. I deserve a break from kids from everything. I, you know, wanted to go out and kind of do my own thing. But it kind of upset Aunt Emma. Okay. So now granddad steps in, put a stop to the argument, said they would go to Germany, and this is where they're planning to go anyway. Exactly. Okay. So about six months ago, all the payments for travel was were due.

SPEAKER_02:

You know, you gotta make sure they all agreed on Germany?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

So her and the cousins were only gonna have to pay, you know, part of the stuff, put in their stuff, whatever. And as it turned out, Aunt Emma thought it would be best if everyone split the cost equally instead of, you know, adults pay adult prices, kids pay kid prices, mostly because she's currently struggling financially. So she was trying to find a way to afford it. Okay. And this person says that they were put in a single bed with a couch bed. And Aunt Emma also joined in and said that she wanted to have, you know, the bigger room because she has two kids and she was, you know, kind of making sure that they had what they needed to sleep. Okay. So pretty much it ended up being this person and her cousins covering the cost for the aunt, okay, while they're traveling. And it just kind of became a huge problem. Now it does seem like grandpa kept trying to step in and calm everything down. But the final question is with grandma and Emma sending messages like how this person's ruined the holidays because they've just caused an issue and they don't want to help help out paying or switch rooms and everything. The question is, is this person the asshole for not wanting to cover her aunt's costs or not wanting to switch her room just to accommodate said aunt?

SPEAKER_02:

I don't wow. I mean, this gives me a whole new light that my family's not that bad. Because I can't I don't, it was seemed like there was a lot of drama anyway. But am I to understand that Aunt Emma has two children but wanted the nicer room but only wanted to pay like one price per room? Like if it's one price if you get this room and you don't pay for your two children in addition to it, it's not per person per room.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. So instead of her paying to accommodate the three people, she was trying to take that cost and split it amongst everybody so it'd be a little more equal, but pretty much they'd be helping cover the cost. And it does seem like the other, yes, and it does seem like the other issue was that Aunt Emma was looking for the family to babysit her two kids so that she enjoy herself.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, we'll just add that in there.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm trying to think of it who in my in my family is Aunt Emma.

SPEAKER_00:

Because you know there's always one.

SPEAKER_02:

We've always got one of them.

SPEAKER_00:

Always one.

SPEAKER_02:

That is the question is is the 18-year-old the asshole? Yeah, she's not. She's definitely I don't think so either. No, that was ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, I do love that granddad stepped in and was like, that's enough. We're going to this other country, just knock it off. Just stepped in and made the plan. But yeah, I mean, overall, and that's something, you know, I know traveling around the holidays, traveling with family can always be super stressful. So I'm sure there's probably plenty of people who can relate to that one family member who, you know, has to have it a certain way, wants to have it this way, and or maybe it's the family member who can't actually afford the trip that they are being so very picky about, you know. But I will say the general consensus was that she is not the asshole.

SPEAKER_02:

I would agree with that. Like, definitely not. I think we all know Aunt Emma's the asshole.

SPEAKER_00:

All right, moving on. This is why she needed a drink, because you have Ant Emma over there. This is why she's like, I'm I'm yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, let's see. I've got one story left. Although I got a little situation going on here. My glasses are stuck in my sweater, so I will go up with some backup readers. Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay. So the original poster, so this is our next story. I'm a female, 28 years old, and I have severe nut allergies that I've been, it's been a lifelong challenge for me. It's not just a mild inconvenience, it's a matter of life and death. So this isn't like a it's not a mild nut allergy, it's a severe allergy. And I know I do actually have friends that have a they have to carry around epipen because it's severe. It's like no joke. Absolutely. My family, especially my parents and siblings, are well aware of my condition. Every Christmas, we have a big family dinner where everyone contributes a dish. For years, I've been reminding my family about my nut allergies. They've accommodated at first, but slowly. I noticed some dishes were labeled correctly for allergens, or my family members weren't cautious in the kitchen. Last year, I had a mild reaction because some dessert had traces of nuts. This scared me a lot, and I expressed my concerns to my family clearly. This year, I made it explicitly clear that I wouldn't attend Christmas dinner unless my family took my allergies seriously. I offered to help man the menu and provide alternative and recipes that were safe for me. However, the day I arrived, I found out that nuts were in almost every dish and some weren't even hidden. Feeling betrayed and disregarded, I made the difficult decision to leave the celebration and I left Christmas all by myself. My family was shocked, was shocked, and tried to guilt me, guilt trip me saying, I ruined the tradition and the family gathering. They accused me of being traumatic and selfish for putting my health above all of the fit families' togetherness. But to me, it's about respecting boundaries and my well-being. So Reddit, I'm torn. Am I the jerk in this situation?

SPEAKER_00:

No, she is not. That is a matter of life and death. Like her going to Christmas dinner could be her last day on earth with a bite of food.

SPEAKER_02:

Correct.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, no, she is not. Not the asshole at all.

SPEAKER_02:

I agree. I agree. And shame on her family. It's like you don't need to give a shit that your daughter has or your family member has a severe nut allergy. I would be going out of my way to make sure that everybody that was attending knew that this person had a severe allergy and that we need to protect their well-being. I mean, it maybe it's a misunderstanding of how severe it is, but either way, like even just But it sounds like she's made this clear over the years, and she said a couple years that first they adhere, and then you know, a couple years in, they're trying to sneak or slide some stuff in, being like, Oh, by the way, this has nuts, so just which is just crazy.

SPEAKER_00:

And then like, how hard is it really to make a holiday dinner without nuts? I mean, it I know like we have the pecans and everything, and almonds and walnuts and everything, but not everyone likes it. I mean, I don't, I wouldn't have anything nut related, I would have to like read the detailed ingredients to see, but like I wouldn't even make anything like that. So I feel like it wouldn't be that hard to make adjustments. You know, it's not like it's dairy or gluten or something, or like she can't eat bread, you know.

SPEAKER_02:

I agree, and I think shame on that family for just acting like she's ruining it and being overly dramatic. Overly dramatic is if you know they didn't like our ugly sweater. I mean, but this is an actual life or death allergy. Like, I don't even get this one. That to me, that would be a no-brainer. And pretty much everybody also agreed that she's not the asshole. They said, absolutely not the asshole. Your health should be the top concern, not hurting feelings or traditions. Stay strong and keep advocating for yourself.

SPEAKER_00:

Um for some people, it's just touch, like, even just for some people, even her being around or touching something.

SPEAKER_02:

If they ate something and gave her a kiss on the lips or the cheek or something to say goodbye, that could center into anaphylactic shock.

SPEAKER_00:

And that's uh that's within a few minutes you have to do something, or it's yeah, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, man. Yeah, your family's lack of consideration for your severe allergies is dangerous. You made the right choice to prioritize your health. And wow, your family's behavior is appalling. You're not the asshole at all. Your health matters most, and they should respect your boundaries. Because she did make it very clear over repeated years, like, hey, and by the way, I did get my to get my readers out. The thing about wearing good sweaters with holes is you get stuff top, but yeah, I absolutely agree. That that one is pretty cut and clear, like easy, breezy, like your family's yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Nope, I absolutely agree. And to anyone who has allergies, please stay safe this holiday season. Your allergies matter, they are important. Don't let anybody bully you about them. Oh, that is so sad.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and not for nothing, but they should have felt bad that she ended up having to spend Christmas alone and leaving her family, just walking out because she felt unrespected and like she like her allergies were more of a bother than it was worth her being there, you know?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and just unsafe. I mean, if she had stayed and hung out and maybe just like reached for something without looking while talking, you know, like that would be my fear. Like, not that I'm gonna forget, but I'm just you know, talking and whatever.

SPEAKER_02:

And well, and she said a trace amount the year before had set her off, and she was had a it she throat and like didn't fit like it was scary to her. It's scary. So that's insane. I can't believe that that was even really like she had to ask if she was the one being over dramatic. That's insane, right?

SPEAKER_00:

I will say of some of the stories that we read, like along with that and families being mad at pregnant women for not traveling, I'm just like that's I know.

SPEAKER_02:

Hopefully, listeners, if anything, this has helped you realize that your family's not so bad.

SPEAKER_00:

Right, that too.

SPEAKER_02:

It could be worse. Let's look at the silver lining here, right? But if you do have situations like this where you are questioning whether you're the asshole, or if you're thinking one of your family members potentially is, and you have a holiday story, we would love to hear it. So you know feel free to coast and post and comment when we do get this episode out because we'd love to hear the family drama.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, always, always, and let us know. You know, were these people the asshole? Were they not the asshole?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, extend your votes because I think some of these are pretty cut and dry, like one or the other. No, for that mama with the triplets, whoo, good luck. Oh, bless her heart.

SPEAKER_00:

Six kids, six, that's that, and they're all they're close together. Yeah, bless her heart. I was like, first of all, she has three kids and she's pregnant. I wouldn't ask her to go anywhere. I'd be like, how can we accommodate you?

SPEAKER_02:

Like I agree, yeah. That one was a doozy for sure. Wow. Um all right, fans and friends, and everybody, we are gonna wrap up this episode, and I hope you we hope you enjoyed it, and everybody have a lovely holiday out there. Happy holidays, guys.

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Cheryl

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Denise

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