14. Finding Your Motivation and Staying Accountable in Chasing Your Dreams

Have you ever found yourself trapped in a rut, lacking the motivation to continue chasing your goals? The truth is, we all have those days. Join us in this heartfelt conversation as we unveil our personal struggles with staying motivated, and share our strategies for pushing past the barriers. This episode is a testament to resilience and perseverance, as we delve into the vital role these qualities play in achieving our dreams. We highlight the importance of learning from challenges and emerging stronger.

This discussion is not just about motivation, but also about accountability. We tackle the concept of self-accountability and the role it plays in achieving our goals. We delve into the need to show up for ourselves with the same persistence and consistency as we would for others. As we share our personal experiences, we hope you'll gain valuable insights on how to be your own best motivator, and how to maintain the discipline required to stay the course.

Lastly, we explore how to handle the obstacles that will inevitably appear on the path to your goals. We discuss the importance of developing patience, learning from these challenges, and finding the strength to push through. We share our stories of doubts and fears, and how we have learned to navigate through them. Our goal for this episode? To inspire you to push through your own challenges, find your motivation, and stay accountable to yourself as you chase your dreams. Tune in for a conversation that promises to be both empowering and inspiring.

Stay connected with me for even more valuable content and stay in the loop with the latest trends in the world of real estate. Your journey to becoming a real estate pro starts here.

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Transcript

Motivation and Accountability for Pursuing Goals

Speaker 1 0:00

remembering your why is it whatever you're pursuing ? Is it because you were , uh , looking to create a better future or a better foundation for your children ? Hold on to that and let that be what gets you out of bed in the morning . Maybe even this is a good one . I do this a lot , putting things into perspective and writing it in black and white on paper to say , oh man , I haven't . Well , let's look at the last three years of your life and you might say okay , these last three years I've been talking about doing the same thing for the last three years and I haven't done anything towards those goals . Do I want the next three years to look like the last three years ? Because time passes by so fast . Before you know it , you'll look up and another three years will pass , and another two years , and another five years , and so 15 years have gone by and you're sitting on a goal or you're sitting on a dream and you've procrastinated to a point where you're beating yourself up because you're not realizing your gifts and your goals , you're not manifesting anything , and that in itself is enough to beat you up , um , on a daily basis . It's not emotional and , like you cannot mix business and emotions . Them two don't go together .

Speaker 1 1:19

Yo yo , you are listening to the Throne . I'm your host , matasha LaQuinn , the queen bee of real estate . And guess what ? Today we are not even talking about real estate . We're gonna talk about something else . We're gonna talk about exactly how I woke up feeling this morning . What happens on the days when users don't have anything left right , like you feel , like you're supposed to be accomplishing certain things . You have this long to-do list and you wake up and the thrill is gone . Well , welcome to my world .

Speaker 1 1:52

This morning , I want to be very transparent . I think a lot of times we get caught up in watching everyone around us and we look on social media and everyone seems like they have it all together , but nobody wants to talk about the fails or the losses or the times when the days are not so great . And I think it's very important , because this platform is to inspire , motivate and ultimately , be relatable to our audience . And the most important part is to let everyone know that whatever you're going through , you're not going through it alone . There is somebody else . I'm almost positive I could bet money on it that there is money on it that there is somebody else that feels the way you feel that has experienced the losses or the lack of motivation that you have . And so we're just gonna chit chat today like we're homies on the phone , vinten to each other .

Speaker 1 2:49

And so my question to you is what do you do on the days that you wake up and you really don't have all you need that day ? Maybe there's something going on in your life or your family circumstance or anxiety , or you're just defeated from the day before . Maybe you didn't get the best news that you may . You know you were expecting , and so you have to wake up the next day and get back in the ring , put on the boxing gloves and go at it again . Do you beat yourself up about it ? Do you give yourself grace or do you push through ? And for those of you that push through , I want you to maybe drop a comment or send us a message about how do you push through . Where do you find the momentum or , I guess , the pep talk from within to push through , because everyone doesn't have people that they can call and get pep talks from .

Speaker 1 3:47

Sometimes that motivation has to come from within . And on those days , what happens ? So , even like for me today ? Right , I knew that I needed to come in here and I needed to record today . And I'm thinking , oh , but I have to do this and I have to do that , and yesterday wasn't a good day and I just don't have the energy that I need .

Speaker 1 4:05

And all of these excuses start to pile into your mind and it makes you feel smaller and smaller . And then , before you know it , you talk yourself out of those things that you need to get done . And , truth be told , when you talk yourself out of the things that you need to do , you end up feeling worse because now you add another unproductive item right there . There's not a checkbox that you can check this time . So you think , okay , I already felt bad and now I feel worse because there's this item that I just procrastinated on and now I feel unproductive and it just stacks up on you . And so this morning I was like , yeah , I'm just not , I'm not feeling it today . I don't have the same energy , I'm just not in the mood for it . I just want to lay in the bed and wallow in my wallow , in my savor . But then , when you think about it , it's like what is wallow , what is wallowing in in it , going to do other than make it worse .

Speaker 1 5:08

So when you think about pushing forward for me , I had to say okay , tasha , let's think about it as a job . If you were employed and you were getting a paycheck and you had to show up at a certain time on a certain day , would you go ? Or if you had a client consultation , a client appointment scheduled , and they were expecting you to show up at 11 o'clock or at 12 o'clock , what would you do ? Would you cancel or would you go ? And just because of the commitment that we have to others and the commitment that I have to my clients , I 100% would still show up . And so the question is well , if you would show up for other people , how dare you not show up for yourself ?

Speaker 1 5:59

If you are going to be committed to an employer or committed to a client , you need to treat the things that you have to do for yourself with that same commitment , with the same consistency , with the same persistence that you would , as if , though , someone else is depending on you . And I think a lot of times we don't follow through because there's no consequences . If it's something we have set like a personal goal , it's something that we set out to do for ourselves , there's no real consequences . There's no one to let down other than ourselves . We think I forget it . I'll just do it tomorrow . I'll just do it next week . There's nobody to answer to , there's nobody to hold you accountable , there's no no one else with an expectation on you other than you , and so we have to get to a point where you hold yourself accountable . You have an expectation with yourself to show up for yourself every single time , the same way you would show up for other people .

Speaker 1 6:58

I had someone call me the other day and I won't say any names , but I hope she doesn't mind mind me sharing this . But I had someone call me the other day and it's like Tasha , I'm trying to get my real estate license . I've taken the test multiple times . I think at this point she may have taken the test over six or seven times and she had somebody that was kind of keeping her motivated , calling in , checking on her how you're doing ? Are you going to take that test again ? Uh , basically holding her accountable . And she called it , called me and she shared with me that she was a little disappointed in the fact that number one uh , she hadn't taken the test again . She was getting a little discouraged . But the person that was holding her accountable hadn't called her , hadn't checked on her , hadn't been there to give her that push , and she just kind of disappeared .

Speaker 1 7:50

And I said well , I understand your concern or your , your frustration , but at the end of the day , you have to find the accountability from within . Although that person was there , they were motivating you at one point . We all have stuff going on in our lives . So the fact that you have not heard from them , or the fact that they haven't been your accountability partner as consistent as they have been , ask yourself wow , what is it that that person could have been going through in their life where they may they may not have it to pour into me right now and you can't take that personal because someone else is going through a tough time or they may have life circumstances going on where they can't pour into you the way that you're used to . You have to switch gears and say how do I pour into myself ? Where do I get myself motivation from ? Because , although it felt good to have an accountability partner , that person is not going to always be there .

Speaker 1 8:53

So what is it within yourself that can light the fire to show up and motivate yourself on the days that other people are not there , and she was like , you know , I didn't think about it like that and I'm like , yeah , you know , a lot of times we don't look at it like that , you know , when we don't get what we expect from other people or we're not getting that motivating factor from the outside , we just kind of assume that the other person has given up on us or they're not there Like they said they would , and now I'm stuck and I needed them . Well , the strong people , they need people too . So maybe they're going through a tough time , but now it's time for you to figure out what are some strategies within yourself that are going to help light that fire , and so some things that I shared with her I'll share with you , and I actually practice this myself . I had to do it this morning , to come sit here to record today . But it's overall , looking at the , looking at the finish line .

Speaker 1 9:51

So when you have a day that you're not motivated , you don't have the fire , that you need to get something done and you're wondering where am I going to find the momentum ? Where am I going to get the momentum that I need ? Imagine the end goal , envision whatever it is that you're after . Visualize the finish line . What does it look like when it's all said and done ? So , if it's you going after your real estate license , imagine the feeling that you're going to feel when you're holding that license in your hand and you're holding that test result in your hand that says pass . Allow yourself to feel that , that joy that you feel . Let that be the motivating factor to keep going , telling your why is it ? Whatever you're pursuing , is it because you were looking to create a better future or a better foundation for your children ? Hold on to that and let that be what gets you out of bed in the morning . Maybe even this is a good one

Overcoming Obstacles and Finding Motivation

Speaker 1 10:49

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Speaker 1 10:49

I do this a lot , putting things into perspective and right , writing it in black and white on paper , to say , oh man , I haven't . Well , let's look at the last three years of your life and you might say , okay , these last three years , I've been talking about doing the same thing for the last three years and I haven't done anything towards those goals . Do I want the next three years to look like the last three years ? Because time passes by so fast . Before you know it , you'll look up and another three years will pass and another two years and another five years , and so 15 years have gone by and you're sitting on a goal or you're sitting on a dream and you've procrastinated to a point where you're beating yourself up because you're not realizing your gifts and your goals . You're not manifesting anything , and that in itself is enough to beat you up on a daily basis , but that's something that you can do .

Speaker 1 11:46

Look at the history of the way that you've done things , look at how much time you've lost , how much time has passed by , and ask yourself do I want my next three years to look like my past three years ? And sometimes that in itself is enough to scare you into being motivated , like , okay , yeah , I got to figure this out , I got to do , I got to do something different . And so if you don't have accountability partners keeping a running journal of the things you want to accomplish , how you're going to get there , and knowing that me getting up , me doing this , me putting one foot in front of the other to make something happen is not an option . I am the only one that can do this , and even though we have friends and family as accountability partners , nobody is as fired up about your goals and your dreams as you . So you're the only one that can find that motivation and the push . You're the only one that can dig down deep and overcome on the days that you don't want to do it . You don't only want and unfortunately you know , there's no special , I guess , magic one or trick that we can bring out to make things happen overnight or make people believe in you or make you feel like you want to do something every day . But the only thing that you have is your passion . What's in your heart , what eats and pulls at you every day ? That's , that's going to be what you need For me , um , what really helps me , uh , move forward and push through .

Speaker 1 13:26

On the days that I maybe have gotten some bad news and I'm figuring out oh God , what now ? How do I move past this ? I think about all the times in the past where something appeared to not be right or it wasn't going the way that I expected it . You know , expected it to go and I was kind of worried about the outcome . And I think about those things that I've worried about before and when I think about it . Every single time , I was worried about a particular situation and what the outcome was going to be . It literally worked out every single time , every time . And so at this point I have enough proof over the course of my life to know Tasha , it's going to be just fine .

Speaker 1 14:12

Whatever you're worried about , whatever you are frustrated about , discouraged about , whatever seems to not be going well , it's going to be just fine . Think about the time when , you know , two years ago , such and such happened and you didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel , and now that particular thing worked itself out and you don't even think about it anymore . So you ask yourself okay , today what I'm worried about is it is it ? Is it even going to matter five years from now ? And so that's what helps me as well .

Speaker 1 14:43

In the moment , you know , I'm discouraged or I'm feeling upset about something I allow myself to feel . You know , I kind of validate my feelings . I allow myself to feel what I'm feeling , and then I get on the other side of it and I'm thinking okay , wait a minute . Everything always works out the way that it needs to work . If it's not meant for it to be a certain thing , it's just not going . Not going to be that thing . I'll visualize worst case scenario , find a way in my head to accept that worst case scenario and , at the end of the day , I truly believe that everything that is supposed to work for you is going to work for you , and if it's not meant for you to go that route , god has a way of shifting things in a different direction so that it can work out . It's almost like if you have a GPS going on your phone and you're just driving down the freeway and you accidentally take the wrong exit Are you turned too soon ? What happens ? The GPS comes up and it says rerouting , rerouting . And then it pops another route and says okay , when you get to the next light , make a U-turn . And then it starts to kind of guide you back , to ultimately get you back on the path where you were supposed to be . And so that's how I look at it .

Speaker 1 15:53

A lot of times , I know a lot of times , you know , we worried about are we doing the right things ? Is what I'm doing necessary ? Is it valid ? Is it a part of my journey ? Should I even be doing this ? Is it a waste of time ? And when I feel that way , I say hey , there are no right or wrong answers , because we don't have all the answers . All we're left to do is to act on what we think are the right things and then , along the way and on our journey , we find out whether or not it's the right or wrong thing or not . But I know sometimes we get so caught up in being paralyzed and not doing anything because we're trying to figure out what's the right way to go . Sometimes you just got to make a move and know that , hey , even if this wasn't something that I was supposed to be doing , or even if I made a left turn when I was supposed to go right , things have a way of rerouting and ultimately getting you back on the right path of where you're supposed to be , and so I keep that in mind all the time , all the time , and that's just like today . You know , I felt it in my heart that I was feeling a little heavy and I would imagine that there are a lot of you feeling heavy Some of my obstacles , and I'll share with you today , just so you know .

Speaker 1 17:08

Everything is not peaches and cream or vanilla ice cream with the chocolate syrup . I had to throw that in there because I like vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup . But , for example , people look at me and say , okay , oh , she's a developer and I wish I was a developer . How do I get to that side ? I want to build stuff . Construction looks so fun , but what they don't see . They don't see the times when you're in court and having to have a lawsuit going on with the contractor because some things were done in a shady manner and you ended up in court paying attorney's fees or you've been after permits because you know you have to get permits to build everything and you've been after permits for an entire year . So you know , I think that's why we started our projects . We started permitting September 22nd 2022 . And if you take a look at your calendar , you will see that it is almost September 22nd 2023 .

Speaker 1 18:13

And so how do you keep the momentum , or the passion , or the same excitement behind a project when it's been ongoing and ongoing , and the city will hit you with one comment and you address that request or you address the comment and you think it's all good , and they come back and say , oh well , wait a minute . What about this drainage ditch in the back ? You need a special permit for that . So now we're going to reroute you to this other process and get you started on the storm drain permit . And you're thinking , well , okay , fine , and you overcome that obstacle and they say oh , wait a minute , we just noticed that you have trees on the property , so you need a special tree species survey . Because we need to know if these trees on your property are endangered or not , because if they're endangered , you might not be able to build where you thought you were going to build because you can't cut that particular tree down . And you think are you kidding me ? Okay , so you get the tree survey and thank God the tree survey is not a big deal . You're able to move past and get the approval for that .

Speaker 1 19:26

And then you're hit with something else that says oh , your driveway , the proposed driveway to your units , there's a utility pole that's just a little bit in the way , even though it's not going to bother anybody no cars are going to hit it but it's in the way on the plans . We don't like the way that looks , so you need to get with center point and talk to them about relocating the power pole . And you're thinking what ? So everything , everything just comes at you . And so you have to and I'm just using this as an example , because this is my industry .

Speaker 1 20:03

You may , of course , be in a different industry , but it feels like every time you take a step forward , you overcome something , you think you're on the way and you have something else that punches you in the stomach and takes your breath away . And it's like , okay , now what you know and ? But ? And every time you have to find that momentum , take a deep breath and say , okay , all right , I can do this , forget it , we just going to deal with center point , we're going to come up with a plan to move the power pole . So you find all the momentum that you need , you go after it , you accomplish it , you think you got it all figured out and then you punched in the stomach again and says , oh , thank you for doing that , but what about this ? And so there's this constant Knock down , get up , knock down , get up . But what do you do ? Especially , what do you do when you're too far in ? You're too far in to quit , like quitting is not an option . So failure is not an option .

Speaker 1 20:56

So when you're too far in and you're going after something and you got knocked down , you don't have a choice sometimes but to get back up . And the most important part and this is what I live by for myself . The most important part is not how long it takes to get back up . The point is you get back up . So sometimes and this is where it comes in the beginning when I asked do you give yourself grace ? Because sometimes I may have , you know , maybe some news came through on a project and it knocked me down for the day and I might wake up the next day and I'm still knocked down , like I'm on life support . At this point I'm like put me into the machine , I just don't have it today . But do you give yourself grace to take a couple of days ? Maybe you need three days . Maybe for some people it takes you a week to get back up . Maybe it takes you a year , who knows ? There's no right or wrong answer for how long it takes you to get back up . Just as long as you get back up If it is truly a goal in your heart , something that you have to do , something that you're too far in to give up on , give yourself some grace . No matter how long it takes , try again .

Speaker 1 22:12

I'll give you guys another example when I first started development . So well , in case you don't know my story , I won't give it all here . But so I got my real estate license back in 2003 . So I was always you know , I've been in real estate for a pretty long time but it wasn't until 2013 that I had the desire to be a developer . I was like , ooh , this traditional real estate stuff is cool , but I want to build stuff . And so , 10 years into my real estate career , I had the desire to pivot into a different industry . And so , long story short , I won't go into all the details , but I had an opportunity in front of me . I took advantage of the opportunity and I got knocked down . So , 2013 , my first time going after development project got knocked down . I'll tell y'all that story on another day . Maybe we'll make a whole podcast topic out of it , because , trust me , it's a doozy Got knocked down .

Speaker 1 23:15

It took me from 2013 , because , first of all you gotta think about it it had taken me years to get the energy and the guts to go after development . It had taken me years to decide I can do this . So when I finally got the guts to go after a development project for the very first time , I got knocked down so hard . All of my wind was gone . That's like when you're in the ring and the not the referee , but the doctor steps in and is like no Rev , you gotta stop the fight . They got a gas right here . They can't see out of the right eye . Like you , gotta stop the fight . That's how bad . I got knocked down in 2020 . I mean , I'm sorry , in 2013 . And so I got knocked down from trying my first development project . This was in 2013 . It wasn't until 2020 that I found what it was I needed to go after it and to try again . Think about all that time that it passed from 2013 until 2020 is how long it took me to find the guts that I needed to go after becoming a real estate developer again

Resilience and Perseverance in Pursuing Goals

Speaker 1 24:26

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Speaker 1 24:26

Now , what I will say , I think the biggest part about it for me , when I finally got back up and got the strength and the energy that I needed to go after it again , my biggest thing was okay , think about how much time I've lost . Where could I have been if I would have got back up ? You know , seven years ago I would have been doing this by now and this by now and that by now , and I couldn't get caught up in that . So I had to quiet that noise down because that was heavy , but I had to say , okay , no , it doesn't matter that it's been seven years . I have to trust that the desire to do this has been on my heart and on my mind all of this time . It's not going anywhere . So if you don't get started today , another seven years is gonna pass by and you're not gonna have done anything . But what do you do ?

Speaker 1 25:13

So I had to believe that , if it was truly meant for me to do this , everything that I lost , all the time that was lost , I had to believe that everything would be escalated . Everything would come full circle and escalate right up to where I would have been if I would have started or got back up seven years earlier . And so that's exactly what happened . Everything just came full circle and stuff started lining back up all over again . The team that I needed , the resources that I needed , the vision that I needed to get it done , the momentum , the fire , the support everything that I needed just showed up .

Speaker 1 25:58

And so in that moment , I told myself okay , it's go time now , because you can't afford to lose this kind of time again . So no matter if you get knocked down , you're gonna get back up over and over and over again and it's not gonna take you a large amount of time to do it . You don't have a choice and so but that's my story of from 2013 to 2020 , I just laid flat on my face . I kind of took my tail and ran back into the traditional real estate space because that was comfortable , because it was easy . I didn't have to deal with too much failure or rejection because about this time I was a pro in the traditional real estate space so I could do that with my eyes closed .

Speaker 1 26:44

But when it comes to pursuing something new and going after a new level , learning new strategies and figuring out a new space and creating a new name and a new title for yourself , somewhere where you're not used to going and you're just not comfortable , that's a lot to just keep you procrastinating and keep you fearful . But I made up in my mind and to myself that , no matter what , no matter how many tears it takes , no matter how many rejection letters from I don't know finance companies I get on the construction loan , no matter how many people don't believe , don't support , no matter how many times my permits get denied and I have to try over and over again , I don't care . I know that this is my calling , this is what I wanna do and I'm gonna do it . And so you have to be convicted within yourself , whatever industry it is , whatever goals you have to be , you have to be committed to being relentless . And I tell people all the time yeah , I might cry tomorrow . I mean , I'm sorry , I might cry today , but I'm gonna get up tomorrow . Or I might cry today but I'm gonna get back up in three days . So one thing you can bet on is I'm gonna get back up . And it's so funny cause my husband he'll like listen to me sometimes and I'm like I just can't , you know , and I'll vet and I'll cry .

Overcoming Obstacles and Developing Patience

Speaker 1 28:11

And then 48 hours later , I'm back in hustle mode , like I got a grind , cause it doesn't stop , and not just for myself . But you know , there are people that depend on me , there are people that count on me for inspiration . But , more importantly , I'm counting on myself . I committed , I set a goal for myself , and so I have to see this through . And so you have to tell yourself that as well . You don't have a choice . You can't quit . Quitting is not an option . Quitting , you know , it may sound seem like the easy road , but it's not the . The role that gives you and really shows you how strong you are is the road to accomplishing your goals . Because by the time you finish body slamming this obstacle and putting this obstacle in a headlock and doing a karate chop on another obstacle , listen , that is where you truly realize who you are as a person , where your strength comes from , if you truly have what it takes .

Speaker 1 29:18

Those are your indicators , because if you're going on a journey to accomplish something and you don't run into any problems , you don't . You haven't really been tested yet , your muscles haven't . You know , you haven't had a chance to exercise those muscles and build up all those characteristics that you need to be a great business woman or a businessman , you know . Entrepreneur , a great mom , you know . Whatever it is that you're going after , you have to run into obstacles , because the way that you deal with those obstacles , the way that you overcome those obstacles , though , that's what helps to build your muscle , that's what helps to figure out .

Speaker 1 29:56

All right , I went through this the last time I got through it . Let me put that in my pocket , because it ever , if it ever happens again , I know the exact strategy . Like I've overcome that . So what's next ? Then the next thing comes your way and it's like , okay , I'm on the other side of it now . What did I learn from it ? Let me put it in my back pocket because I'm going to need that for later . And slowly you begin to overcome obstacles with ease because you are having the ammunition that you need to put it in your pocket now to fight these different things , like for me .

Speaker 1 30:31

I know that this is my . This is one of my biggest weaknesses . One of my biggest weaknesses is the fact that I hate uncertainty Like I need to know what's going to happen . I want to know what's going to happen . When is it going to happen , how is it going to happen ? And I love the control . I need to control every aspect of it . I have a plan , abcd , lined out . If this one doesn't work , we're going to pivot here . This is how we're going to handle it .

Speaker 1 31:05

And so what development , what real estate development , has done for me ? It's forced me to have to get comfortable with uncertainty because there's so many variables that I don't have control over . I may do everything that I'm supposed to do , but a contractor didn't do his part , or they didn't show up on time , or the city ? They didn't answer within two weeks , like I planned for the timeline to go . They may have taken them 30 days to answer instead of two weeks , and when they answered , I didn't get the response that I was looking for . So now I have to go back to the drawing board and reschedule a plan and do it all over again . That drives me nuts , and I had to tell myself well , tasha , you're not going anywhere . Real estate development is where you want to be , so what are you going to do ? Quit . And I have to talk . I talk to myself all the time too . I'm like well , no , not going to quit . I was like well , what are you going to do then ? Guess I better get comfortable with learning how to deal with uncertainty , right , okay , well , not only am I uncomfortable with uncertainty Now I am getting better at it but not only am I not comfortable with uncertainty .

Speaker 1 32:22

I'm one of those people I like to see real time results . I'm one of those microwave results people . When you hear people talking noise about , oh , this generation , they all just love microwave results . You want to see stuff happen instantly . That's me . I'm your girl , I am the microwave dinner girl . I'm the one that , when I put in work today , I want to see the manifestation of my work tomorrow and in real estate .

Speaker 1 32:56

That's not how it goes , and for any business for that matter . When you're building a business , when you're starting fresh in the industry , whatever it is that you're doing , things take time . And so for me , when I decided to get into real estate development , it didn't dawn on me that you can spend two years on a project , on the background work , before you actually see the structure , before you actually see dirt moving around and buildings going up and toilets going in . Sometimes two years , two and a half years sometimes , depending on how big the project is . There's two years that have passed by just in planning and paperwork and city council approvals and the city signing off on this and doing this and maybe getting your investors together and lining up your money and getting the financing in order . There's a whole line of things that happen . And so for me , the microwave girl , this industry has turned me well . It's still working on me because it hadn't worked all the way , because I'm still impatient , but I had to learn how to go from a microwave girl to a crock pot girl . The crock pot is when you put your meat in there on Sunday morning and just let it sit in the crock pot for hours . That's essentially where I'm at . I'm microwave versus crock pot , because in this industry , there's times where I'm going through the blood , the sweat and the tears back and forth for two years and there's not even a structure on the ground yet .

Speaker 1 34:33

Now , granted , once the permits happen and once things get moving and you start seeing construction take place , that's the easy part . The building goes up in no time , you know , and that's the exciting part . That's the part that everybody enjoys , because you can actually take your camera out and have proof of your results . Right , what you've been doing is working . You have proof of that , and so sometimes you have to know that the work that you're doing in the background , even though you don't physically see it with your eyes , it's working , it's going to pay off . You're on the way to where you're supposed to go . It just isn't there yet . And so you have to be mindful . You have to give 150% every single day , even when you don't necessarily see the structure going up , the permits are not approved yet you still have to give that same energy .

Speaker 1 35:25

And so , for somebody that loves quick results , this industry has taught me that if this is truly something that you're gonna stick with long term , you better get comfortable with time not having the control that you're used to having uncertainty , patience . So there's a lot of things about myself that this industry has pulled out of me that Now , to tell you the truth , this industry has pulled it out of me , kicking and screaming Like it drug me by my hair down the sidewalk . Kicking and screaming because I'm like no , I don't . I don't want to be patient , I want it right now and I don't have a choice . It's forcing me to not have a choice . But guess what ? This is where I want to be .

Speaker 1 36:15

The passion is here , and so you have to know , whatever your passion is , whatever dreams you're building , whatever business you're attempting to start , it doesn't even have to be a business . Maybe you've set out to be the best parent in the world . What does that look like ? What kind of skill sets does it take ? What type of characteristics , what type of weaknesses do you have ? Maybe it is being impatient . You know what type of weaknesses is it that you have to work on , because , in order to become your greatest self , you have to identify those weaknesses and begin to chop away and you know and strengthen those weaknesses one by one not saying it's gonna happen overnight , but whatever it is you're setting out to do , identifying those weaknesses and being okay .

Speaker 1 37:05

Accepting those weaknesses is important too , because as they show up and they're gonna show up you have to give yourself grace to say , okay , I know what this is . It's one of my weaknesses showing up , and this is a learning lesson for me today . So , instead of throwing a fit , getting upset about it , I'm gonna make the decision today to handle this a little bit differently . This is testing my patience . I know that I'm an impatient person . How am I gonna handle this different today ? What am I gonna do ? And it shows up for me all the time , because what business will teach you is it's not emotional at like .

Speaker 1 37:47

You cannot mix business and emotions . Them two don't go together , and so something will happen or take place and you get upset about it and it throws off your whole day . Like you pissed off , you're not in your best mood , it drains your energy and now those emotions are affecting your business . No , you have to get very sharp . To Something happens , suck it in . All right , what's the best way to handle this ? Don't look at the problem . Don't look at what's being said . Okay , what problem ? What problem ? And I can't get my words out . What problem am I faced with ? What is the solution going to be ? Check that box off . Move on to the next thing . You have to become a master Problem solver in business , without the emotions attached to it , because the emotions is what will keep you on this roller coaster Every single day , throughout the day , if you let every little thing get to you or aggravate you or piss you off or upset you , or You're gonna be up and down constantly , all day , every day .

Speaker 1 38:54

That's not productive . That's not productive . And so what I find myself doing now I'm not gonna lie , I still struggle daily but what I find myself doing ? A lot of times I may get a response or email and it comes in and I say , take a deep breath . I said , okay , you know what , not today , not today . I gotta get sharp . What am I gonna do ? And so I make a conscious decision right in that moment to determine how am I gonna handle the solution . I'm not gonna get emotional . This is a business solution , this is a business situation . I need to figure it out . Figure it out , check that off the list .

Speaker 1 39:34

Move on to the next thing . And I do it all the time , not as often as I like , cuz sometimes , listen , I'm ready to go all in Sometimes , but there are times , you know , where it's just all right . Y'all , y'all don't work my nerves . Today I honestly I don't see how , y'all having driven me to drinking by now , because , but you know , there are some times where I'm just over it . But for for the most part , I've gotten really good at hey , karate chopping Problem , what you got to get good , call me the karate kid because you got to get good at chopping stuff off at the neck so that it doesn't consume the rest of your day .

Speaker 1 40:17

And if you have big dreams , big goals , big aspirations in mind , you , you don't have a choice but to get good at managing obstacles , managing business decisions , multiple ones , one after the other . Next , what's got next ? Next that you have to get good at it ? Because in order to go to the higher level , where did where , there , wherever it is that you're headed If you don't get good at chopping those blocks , chopping those obstacle blocks down quickly , then you're gonna get weighed down by your emotions and your problems every day and it's gonna hinder your progress and it's gonna take you longer to get where you need to go . So you got to look at it .

Speaker 1 40:57

Hey , if I want to be a boss , you have to literally Do what it says boss up . And bossing up is handling obstacles , situations with ease , not getting your emotions involved , determining what is the problem at hand , what is the next best ? What is the next best solution Period ? That is bossing up . Don't go wallowing your feelings getting all eaten up by the industry and the problems around you . What do I need to do to boss up ? Because if I don't get good at bossing up on this lower level , how do I expect to go to the next level and the higher level and the highest of levels ? I can't even boss up and manage my emotions Versus , you know , business decisions on the lower level . So how do you expect to go higher and accomplish greater things when you're not managing what you need to manage properly on the lower level ? And so I think it's really important that you just think about that for a minute . You know and think about . Think about the times when you could have done better , you could have bossed up , you could have handled a situation a little bit Smoother or with ease or your response . Your response could have been done differently .

Speaker 1 42:23

Think about what your weaknesses are . Write those weaknesses out so you can identify them , so that when they show up , you can recognize them for what they are . Okay , this is a weakness . That's why . That's why it has me a little fluster , right like , this is a weakness and it's okay to have weaknesses . But I'm gonna make the decision to handle it differently today to see if I can work on strengthening this weakness .

Speaker 1 42:47

You know the days when you don't feel like you have it . Don't beat yourself up . Give yourself some grace . Take the time you need . If you need two days , if you need three days , if you need a week . Take the time if you have an accountability partner . They haven't been showing up for you lately . They haven't been there to motivate you . Hold you accountable , give you the momentum that you need . How about you reach out to them ? Check on them , see if it's something that they're going through . Maybe they need your accountability this

The Power of Self-Accountability

Speaker 1 43:15

time .

Speaker 1 43:15

And even in that same breath , turn around , look from within . What do I need to do ? What do I have within me to hold myself accountable ? Today , you got to get better at holding yourselves accountable . Don't look , um , you know , outside of you and around you and for third parties and other people to pour into you , what you need is within yourself , I promise you , so Dig deeper . We got this . Today is gonna be a great day For you and for me , and so next time I hope that you guys can chime in and tell me . What is it that you're doing ? Did you give yourself some grace ? What have you done to strengthen some of those weaknesses that you have ? And I'm looking to hear from you and Look forward to talking to you next time . You have been tuned in to the throne . I'm your host , matasha LeQuinn , the queen be of real estate . Peace out .