15. Thanksgiving Reflection: Embracing Life's Lessons at 40

Turning 40 can be a rollercoaster of emotions and for me, I invite you to join me on this personal journey where we explore the past, present, and the future under the lens of appreciation. As we unravel my life’s experiences, it becomes apparent that gratitude isn’t just an occasional thank you, but a transformative force that molds our outlook on life.

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Transcript

Finding Gratitude

Speaker 1 0:00

Especially when people say well , you know , when you're having a bad day , just think about everything you're thankful for . And although it sounds good and it is true to a certain extent when you're just having a bad day or a bad time , or you're not necessarily where you want to be in life , or something that you think should have popped off by now hasn't popped off , the last thing you want to do is hear somebody telling you just think about what you're grateful for . It's like , yeah , whatever , get out of my face . When I think about inventory of the past , that is , thinking of all of the things that have gone well in your past , all the things that worked out , all the things that didn't go as bad as they could have been , even if I'm in the middle of something tough . You ask yourself is it the end ? Chances are no . So if it's not the end , don't freak out yet . You're in the process . You're in this little gumbo pot of you know the food is simmering and it's cooking down , but it's not the end yet . Don't get so down on yourself that you miss out on the blessing of the future . Yo , yo , I'm Natasha LaQuinn , the queen be of real estate , and you're tuned into the throne and this week we are preparing for Thanksgiving and I know it's cliche , but always thinking about what are we thankful for , living in a state of gratitude . You know , we hear it all the time and it's easier said than done , especially when people say well , you know , when you're having a bad day , just thinking about , just think about everything you're thankful for , and although it sounds good and it is true to a certain extent when you're just having a bad day or a bad time , or you're not necessarily where you want to be in life , or something that you think should have popped off by now hasn't popped off , the last thing you want to do is hear somebody telling you just think about what you're grateful for . It's like , yeah , whatever , get out of my face . But I will say that if you do take the time and just really , just really iron that out and think about what it actually means to be thankful and to find gratitude , it really does help . Now , maybe not when you're in the thick of it and you know you're just right in the middle of that tough time yeah , that's not necessarily what you want to hear , but when you really put things into perspective , maybe at the end of the day , or you're soaking in the tub , or you're just taking time to journal . Whatever it is that you do , starting off with gratitude . I found it really , really helps , and so this week , I had to do some of that myself , and I want to share with you three things that has helped me with my thoughts of gratitude or determining what I'm thankful for , during this season especially so , listen , guys , I just turned 40 last week . Hey , okay , but when turning 40 , are you hitting this milestone age , so to speak ?

Speaker 1 3:15

Two things can happen . Either you can get really excited about the new chapter and the journey and I made it to 40 , or it can turn into oh my God , I'm 40 already , I still haven't did this and this , and I wanted to accomplish this and this didn't happen yet . And , oh my God , what's next ? And I'm getting old and I'm running out of time . And so you start thinking and you start going backwards and you're like whoa , whoa , whoa . Okay , wait , no , this is backwards . I need to be thankful that I've made it to 40 and a new chapter and a new journey . And so you got to reel yourself in real quick about what's happening in life , what could be happening .

Speaker 1 4:01

You know , sometimes we have to be thankful for the things that have not happened to us . You know , especially when you scroll through TikTok and everything and you look at these horror stories and things on the news and people with illnesses , and there's just so many things around us that are constant , daily reminders of it could be much worse . So , for me , three things that I decided to do this week and I haven't finished yet , but I like to take pen and paper and write things down because it helps , put put into perspective and it also it also gives you a reference point of where to go and flip back to . You know , let's say , a month from now , you're running into a tough time or you're forgetting that gratitude piece you're like wait a minute , let me go back to what I wrote down and revisit some of this to find my thankfulness . But three things . So , first thing , and I'll just say this , the key word in all of this , the key word in finding gratitude or being thankful , or determining what you're thankful for , the key word for me is inventory , taking inventory , alright , and we're talking about three categories of inventory inventory of the past , inventory of the now and inventory of the future . So let's dig into inventory of the past .

Speaker 1 5:39

So for me , when I , when I think about inventory of the past , that is thinking of all of the things that have gone well in your past , all the things that worked out , all the things that didn't go as bad as they could have been , all the things when you realize , oh man , I was really saved from that , like I thought that relationship breakup was really hard for me , but in actuality God was protecting and saving me , because I can't imagine life if I would have got stuck with that person . You know , but what taking inventory of the past does it gives you a breath of fresh air to know that , well , wait a minute , things are not as bad as I think they are . Because look at all of these things that I've overcame , no matter how big , no matter how small , and I think that's important too . Looking at the size of it , you know we only sometimes take inventory of a win or of a victory when it seems to be a huge victory , or it seems to be notable , or , you know , it seems to be worthy of thanks . And all wins don't have to be these huge , trophy newspaper front page article worthy wins . It could be a matter of .

Reflecting on the Past, Being Thankful

Speaker 1 7:14

I went to the doctor and I got an abnormal test result and they wanted to do a specialty checkup on me and the lab to take even further tests . And when I went through with those extra tests , everything came back clear . You were saved from something like it's you , you hear . You were . You were thinking that , oh Lord , you know , I have this possible weird abnormal test . I wonder what this could mean . And then it turned out to be nothing . That alone in itself is praise worthy , right ? Um , it could be , if it could be .

Speaker 1 7:51

Maybe you have a kid that was struggling with math and then all of a sudden , maybe they went to tutoring two or three times and now they're getting the B 85 in math , when they were making the 60 in math , like all those little things attribute to being thankful . Um , the roof over your head . You know , maybe , times where you lost the job . You know when you think about the past , you lost the job and you were thinking , okay , now what Like I got my kids here ? How in the hell am I going to pay my rent next month ? And then , when you think back on that time in your life , you're like damn , I don't even realize how we made it . But I was unemployed for six months straight and somehow my kids still had food on the table , we had a roof over our heads , we had smiles on our faces , my car didn't get repossessed , some kind of way . I made it during those six months and I overcame , and I was brought over that hurdle and over there that hump to see another day to live , to have another opportunity to try again , um .

Speaker 1 8:56

And so when we look at the seasons of life and the things where we've been brought from those , everything that you've been brought from in the past , it ought to be a reminder that if you've overcome those type of things back , then that's no different from the things that you may be going through now or the things that you may have to come and face in the future . You've been through things before , so don't get caught up in what's not going right . You know , look in the past , take inventory of all the little things , um , and maybe even in a journal . Every time something goes right , right it down so that you have a reference point to look at all the things that are going or have went , uh , have went well . So that's what I mean when I say inventory of the past . Uh , even when I talk about inventory of the past , things that seemed bad at the time there were actually a blessing .

Speaker 1 9:57

So , using myself as an example , um , when I think about the past , uh , back when I was first trying to get my real estate license in 2003, . Good Lord , um , I kept trying to take my exam and I kept failing it , right . So I thought to myself all right , I'm , I'm sick of not passing this exam , I'm over it . I'm just going to do the next best thing . I'm going to go and get me a job at an apartment complex . You know the leasing agents that work in the office , that show the apartment and lease out the apartments . That was my bright idea . I was like , okay , I can't seem to pass this exam , so I'm going to go and get my license . So I'm just going to apply for all these different jobs as an apartment , uh , apartment leasing professional , y'all . I cannot tell you how many jobs I applied for and I was so aggravated . I was applying , just in bulk , just applying , applying , and I had multiple interviews and this interview seemed like they were going great and I would not get hired , and I was like what the hell ? So about this time you , I think about maybe five or six months had passed before I had taken the exam the last time and I had just gotten so caught up in the idea of scratching the exam and me just getting this job . So what ended up happening ? This took the cake for me .

Speaker 1 11:27

I went on my final interview to these apartments . So I get to the apartment and as I'm talking to the hiring manager , I realized that she knows my grandmother . So those that don't know my story , my whole family is in real estate , basically , and so this particular hiring manager of these apartments , when I was trying to give her my history and tell her about myself , come to find out she knew my grandmother and she also knew my grandmother's sister , my aunt from the real estate business . Oh , I know them very well , they're sweethearts . Da , da , da , da da . I just love your family . So for me I'm like , oh yeah , if I never got a job before , I'm getting this damn job because she knows my people and she actually likes my people . So she's going to give me this job just because Do y'all know , I didn't get that damn job .

Speaker 1 12:19

I was like , okay , that that did it for me . So I'm like you know what , let me go and take this exam one last time . And I went . That failure , so to speak , is what I needed to push me to go and take the exam one last time . And I passed by two points . Listen , I don't give a damn if I passed by.5 points , I passed and so .

Speaker 1 12:44

But I was so excited because the failures of you know , the interviews and not getting what I thought I wanted at the time , just because it was the easy way out , it pushed me and forced me to go ahead and go after what it is I really wanted , which was my real estate license . But the fear of rejection and not wanting to be rejected again I forced myself to make . I forced myself to think that , okay , get your licenses into that big of a deal , don't don't even worry about it , go and find a plan B . But those things those me not getting the job that I thought I wanted . It protected me in a sense . And so here I am 20 years later like hey , and I look back and I'm so excited , so thankful that I didn't get the job , because if I would have gotten any one of those apartment jobs that I was going for , it would have prolonged and hindered my progress in real estate . I'm pretty sure if any one of those jobs would have come through for me , I would have got wrapped up and I would have gotten comfortable , and I honestly I mean at some point . I mean , your fate is your fate . So I'm sure I probably would have ended up ended up licensed at some point , but it probably would have been much further along in the game . And so , yeah , I even look at stuff like that , things that you think are failures or roadblocks . They're protecting you . So , inventory of your past Now let's talk about inventory of the now .

Gratitude and Counting Blessings

Speaker 1 14:14

La , la la , taking inventory of everything that's going well now , and that could be the fact that you woke up this morning . Right , remember small , simple things . It doesn't have to be anything as strab again or something that deserves a trophy or a prize , but things that will help to override what is not going right . Necessarily , we're going to focus on the things that are going right . So you woke up this morning , your parents are still living , you have a job to go to . Even if you hate your job , you have a job that you're going to do and it's going to help you to pay your light bill tomorrow . Right . You have the opportunity to live another day to get it right tomorrow . You may have woke you know you woke up in a bad mood today . Things are all shuffled all over the place , but you woke up and you have an opportunity to change your perspective and do something different tomorrow .

Speaker 1 15:20

So what are you thankful for right now ? Your bills are paid for the month . Maybe you have a . Maybe you have a pantry full of food and I know that sounds basic , but some people don't have that and some people may have food , but they don't have choices . Right , think about choices . Having a choice is a luxury . To think , hey y'all , what do y'all want to eat today ? And you go to the kitchen and say I don't know , you guys want sausage . Well , who wants a hot dog ? Oh , no , I want cereal . No , mom , I want waffles . To be able to offer choices to your family or to go in and tap your head like what I want out of here , I'll just get some chips instead . Just the ability to have choices is a blessing . Phone some people don't even have cell phones , you'd be surprised . Guys like inventory of everything that's going right right now .

Speaker 1 16:21

Um , I remember a story this is about . This is a couple years ago . This had to be maybe six years ago . I remember it was around Christmas time and I was driving down 1960 and I got into water burger I love water burger , but anyway , that's another story Got in the water burger and there was a homeless guy that was sitting there and he was obviously asking for food and so I bought him something to eat . And then I thought to myself and it was really cold outside . So I thought to myself I was like , well , I don't want to just give him something to eat , I want to maybe try to help him out for at least the rest of the night . You know , just giving something to eat didn't seem like enough . So there was a hotel like a motel across the street , and this is how I know .

Speaker 1 17:11

Like I just kind of followed my heart this day because what I did was really dangerous , I told him to get in my car . I was gonna drive him across the street to the motel to get him a room for the night . So originally , when he came up to my window , I said you know , hey , I want to give you some money to to get a room for the night . And he said well , I don't have an ID , I don't have a driver's license , I don't have any type of identification , so none of the rooms will rent to me . So I said okay . I said , well , hop in , I'll take you across the street and I'll rent you a room myself .

Speaker 1 17:42

So when he hopped in , I took him across the street and then we went inside of the building . So when we went inside the building to rent a room , I walked up to the front desk and I was like hey , I want to rent a room for the night . And she looked at me . And then she looked at him standing behind me and she looked at me again and she was like Is it for him ? And I was like , yeah , and she said I'm sorry , we can't do it . And I was like and it wasn't until then that I really realized the fight that people go through on a daily basis is just not having identification and being stereotype Like I couldn't even rent a room for him in my own name because a person at the front desk wouldn't allow me .

Speaker 1 18:28

So I asked him . I said well , is this what you go through ? Like the whole cycle ? He was like yeah , that's what I've been up against . He's like since I'm homeless , I don't have an ID , I don't have access to get my records or to get an ID , and so it's just the whirlwind of when you ask him well , why can't you check into the shelter ? The shelter requires an ID . Why can't you get a job ? Jobs require an ID . So you have this kind of whirlwind of problems . And so , anyway , I ended up driving down the street to another hotel . I told him to wait in the car so that they wouldn't know that I was getting the room for him , and I just slid him the key to the side . Now I mean , yeah , that might have been a bad idea , because he could have done drugs or he could have messed up the room and the room was booked under my name . All those things are true , but in that moment I just felt it was my responsibility to help him that night .

Speaker 1 19:21

But anyway , I guess my point of the story is just having something as simple as your driver's license and an ID and the ability to get an ID , having family , like this person was here with no family at all , no family . So because some people say , well , how do people get in this state ? How do you find yourself on the streets or homeless , and literally they have nobody . They have nowhere to start , no resources , and so just being mindful of that and taking inventory of the now , everything that's going right right now , and then , lastly , taking inventory of the future . And you're like , oh , how can I take inventory of the future , like the future is not even here yet .

Speaker 1 20:06

And my thought on that is , when you look at you know where you've been , the things that you were brought from in the past , the things that you're overcoming now , you have the idea to say , all right , it worked for me then , it's working for me now . My future has to be bright . You know , even if I'm in the middle of something tough , you ask yourself is it the end ? Chances are no . So if it's not the end , don't freak out yet . You're in the process . You're in this little gumbo pot of you know . The food is simmering and it's clicking down , but it's not the end yet . So until it's the end , don't freak out . You have so many things to be thankful for . When you look at the past and where you're headed , don't get so down on yourself that you miss out on the blessing of the future . Life is a journey and we're all going down this road , unsure how it's gonna turn out . Nobody ever told us exactly what things will look like along the way , but one thing for sure is that it's all gonna be okay in the end .

Speaker 1 21:14

And for those of you that have kids , you know , teach that to your kids . One of the things that I like to do around holiday time and I'm gonna do it this year with my eight year old is , you know , serving food to those that are less fortunate during the holiday times . You know they have the shelter . They have a Christmas dinner at different shelters where you can go and help serve food . You can adopt a kid . I know that I partnered with one of my , a friend of mine , that they partnered with this shelter and you were able to adopt a kid and the kid has a wish list and you're able to go and provide some of the items on the wish list for the kids .

Speaker 1 21:52

And you'll notice that some of those items they just want like bare necessity type stuff hair scrunchies , skin cream you know you would think that someone maybe that's less fortunate or they don't get to get a whole lot of things . If you ask them to write a wish list , you think that they'd put all kind of extravagant stuff like a cell phone or a gaming system , and it's not the case at all . It's just so , it's umbiling , but it's refreshing at the same time because it's like , wow , they just really appreciate everyday life stuff scrunchies , hair cream , you know . Little bracelets , you know things to little trinkets that the girls like to play with socks , you know , and I'm thinking like it's just your everyday kid that is seemingly privileged . There's no way they're gonna write socks , you know , on their list . So , for those of you that do have kids , I think it's really cool and it's really important to show them how good they have it , so to speak , and to be very sensitive to those situations and kids that may not have it , and so that they can realize that they have things to be grateful and thankful for as well . I don't think it's ever too young for a kid to prepare and set themselves up to practice gratitude .

Speaker 1 23:23

So , yeah , that's what I would have to say in regards to inventory , and that's what I'm doing this week , and I kind of just took a journal and I broke it down in different categories and just anything , and it doesn't . You don't have to sit and do it all at the same time . Just keep those three things in mind and if something you know , it pops up in your memory , you're like , oh yeah , I forgot about the time , that's such and such happened , then go and write it down . Your inventory of the past . Go and write it down , you know , when you get back home or whatever , but just during the season , things pop in your mind . That's related to taking inventory of the past , inventory of the now , things to be thankful for . Go and write it down so that you have something to go and look over and to practice that spirit of gratitude . And I'm gonna make sure that I do it too . I'm already doing it , but I'll check back in with you guys to make sure that you have been doing it .

Speaker 1 24:18

And because in the tough times and the times when things don't seem like they're going well Because in our minds I know I do this all the time I Like control , I like certainty I like to say alright , plan a is it working , let me activate plan B . Alright , plan C , get ready , cuz plan B isn't doing what it needs to do . And so the sometimes life isn't like that . You know , life is truly about having faith , trusting , believing , allowing God to to work in your life and truly having faith that everything is gonna be okay . You don't have to have control or certainty all the time , and so taking inventory of those things and reflecting back during the tough times I think will help you in those situations where things seem a little bit aggravating and Timing is off and things are not going as planned

Thanksgiving Blessings and Gratitude

Speaker 1 25:10

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Speaker 1 25:10

So I Hope you guys have a really great Thanksgiving . I cannot wait to eat tomorrow . Y'all and I'm and this is the thing I had the flu twice in November already . I'm just glad I'm getting over it . Right now I just have a little bit of cooties left with the cough , but by the time tomorrow comes I will be able to eat these greens and yams and turkey and macaroni . So I'm excited about that and I hope that you guys have a blessed Thanksgiving and you spend time with your loved ones and your family , finding things to be grateful and thankful for . And guess what I'm thankful for ? You , my supporters that continue to tune in and watch me and support me . Thank you so much and until next time I'm your host , natasha LaQuinn , the queen bee of real estate , and you've been listening to the throne .