The Goldman State
Ed Goldman is a longtime newspaper and magazine columnist, the author of five books and creator of The Goldman State, a three-times-a-week online column with subscribers in 40 states, Canada and Europe. A professional playwright, composer and painter, Ed has also taught journalism at five California Universities and community colleges. His bucket list includes becoming the victim of a corporate takeover. This podcast is an extension of his unique take on the world around us and his interpretation, with all the creativity imaginable, of what that would literally sound like if he were to speak it.
The Goldman State
Episode 12: The Senate Dress Code...No, Not Really
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Congress is in session. Hmmm, what shall I wear today?
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www.goldmanstate.com. Thanks for listening.
Thanks for listening the the podcast and be sure to subscribe to my thrice weekly column, The Goldman State, by visiting the WEBSITE HERE. Thanks for listening.
Ed Goldman: [00:00:00] Hi, this is Ed Goldman with the Goldman State Podcast. When the current session of Congress began, Chuck Schumer decided to suspend the dress code for his fellow electeds in the alleged upper house. Then it was rescinded a few days later, but still, Schumer, as you know, is the US Senate majority leader, who seems constitutionally incapable of training his eyeglasses to rise above his nostrils.
His edict meant politicians could not only commit, but also wear flip flops at work. Of note is that aides and pages would still need to dress as though they were about to embark on a Mormon mission or go to work as repair people. For IBMI call Schumer, who's every utterance makes him sound like a rabbi struggling to be patient with us idiots.
Prince nz doesn't he realize that the senator's current uniform of dark suits, white [00:01:00] shirts, bland neckties, obvious comb overs, and American flag lapel pins is just about the only thing that gives these circus clowns, dignity. They certainly don't exhibit it in the laws. They choose to ignore anti-gun legislation.
Anyone or in their childish behavior actually booing the president. Shouldn't that count as elder abuse or their unfamiliarity with grammar? Far too many examples to cite, I'm afraid. As CBS news reported in the house, men are supposed to wear suits and ties and women aren't supposed to wear sleeveless attire, sneakers or open toed shoes, but there doesn't seem to be a formal record of these rules.
Still, they have been enforced. In 2017, a woman reporter tried to enter the house, speaker's lobby located outside the chamber, but her sleeveless dress was deemed inappropriate. She improvised shoulder coverings using paper from her notebook. Witnesses said, end of, I'm sure that looked really natural. It reminds me of that parody of Gone With the Wind on the old Carol Burnett Show in which she [00:02:00] goes, Scarlet O'Hare, one step better by not just turning her curtains into a fine dress to fool red Butler into thinking she's still wealthy, but accidentally leaves in the curtain rods.
As she descends the staircase, the studio audience goes berserk with laughter for many minutes. So does Burnett's CoStar, Harvey Corman playing Rhett. While I've always understood dress codes, those very two words beg us to defy them. Clothing rules might be a more direct descriptor. Those sheer hell for anyone with a lisp to say aloud.
In fact, I just stumbled over it myself. Dress is a word like apparel, garb, and ensemble needlessly formal, open to interpretation code is another term for a law as in building code, tax code, or any arcane language used by spies on computer programmers, or what your three-year-old with sniffle says He or she just caught a code.
If I'm losing out on that. Centuries ago I was being interviewed for a public relations job at Hewlett Packard's Palo Alto [00:03:00] hq. The VP of marketing and PR took me into the Great Room housing, about 30 cubicles. As we walked into the cavernous workplace, he stopped dramatically and removed his suit jacket.
If you come to work here, he said proudly. The first thing you do when you walk in is take off your coat. He then stepped away a moment and hung it up on a hook in his office as if to demonstrate how one disposes of one's outerwear in civilized society. He was trying to show me what a fun place HP would be to work, but I asked, what if I'm cold that day?
Can I just leave my jacket on? The man eyed me with a look. One usually reserves for viewing fiery car accidents or capital executions. No, no, no. He managed to say, my point is that we're not like IBM we're a casual, creative environment, but it was clear to me that not wearing a coat was the same as wearing a uniform.
I was still processing that when a day later he offered me the job I was going for with one [00:04:00] condition, would I shave off my beard? Dave Packard hates beards, he said. Every part of me wanted to reply then tell him not to grow on. But this man was a very kind guy, obviously nearing retirement and had probably already met his quota years ago for dealing with whipper snappers.
I gratefully declined the job. A few days later, I shaved off my beard for a few months, no idea why, but I grew it back when someone suggested, you know, without it, people can see a smirk. I wish I'd known Chuck Schumer back then. He'd have defended me. I'm Ed Goldman, my column, the Goldman State, comes out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
You can subscribe for free at goldman state com. Thanks for listening.