The Goldman State
Ed Goldman is a longtime newspaper and magazine columnist, the author of five books and creator of The Goldman State, a three-times-a-week online column with subscribers in 40 states, Canada and Europe. A professional playwright, composer and painter, Ed has also taught journalism at five California Universities and community colleges. His bucket list includes becoming the victim of a corporate takeover. This podcast is an extension of his unique take on the world around us and his interpretation, with all the creativity imaginable, of what that would literally sound like if he were to speak it.
The Goldman State
Episode 72: CEO's Leave Their Jobs (Or Delegate Others to Do So.)
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What happens when CEOs decide they've had enough of the executive suite and swap their power suits for more leisurely pursuits? I have some ideas...
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00:11 - Ed Goldman (Host)
Hi, this is Ed Goldman with the Goldman State Podcast. Are you a distraught male CEO? Despondent even? Have you been issuing somewhat ambiguous missives to your management team, implying you may or may not be on the verge of taking your own job, and telling you to shove it? Well, join the crowd.
00:32
According to a story in multiple editions of American City Business Journals, more CEOs have been leaving their jobs than ever before, well, than in the past two decades anyway. There must have been a run on golden parachutes at REI. The story was written by Andy Medici, who, with that surname, must have caused the 23andMe website to spontaneously combust, leaving little genealogical shards all over the place. By the end of 2024, about 1,250 big bosses had left their C-suites, which was about 13% more than those who did so in 2023. The source of the numbers was a job coaching business with the colorful name of Challenger Gray and Christmas, apparently named to honor, respectively, a tragically failed space shuttle, the given name of the only California governor in history who lost a recall movement, and a holiday whose 2025 shopping season began shortly after Labor Day. Various reasons have been cited for the diaspora of dilettantes, including both forms of artificial intelligence, number one, the uppercase version, meaning many of their jobs seemed superfluous with the advent of machines that could, with minimal input, write mediocre memoranda on their own. And number two the lowercase kind of artificial intelligence meaning the CEO's seeming brilliance was finally recognized by their boards of directors as basically baloney with some skin left on. So we now have self-deposed captains of industry wandering the streets of gated communities, their eyes as vacant as their former over-decorated offices, their pockets poignantly stuffed with 12-figure severance checks. Well, we here at the Goldman State, now a few days into our sixth year as an unintentional non-profit, but without any workplace injuries, are nothing if not empathetic, and I mean nothing. So I had our in-house can-do life coach, hugh Betcha, come up with a short list of coping mechanisms for ex-execs exodus.
02:32
Number one learn a language. Having spent time with many of you and heard you say things like him and her make a good team. Hugh suggests enrolling in our EFL program, that's English as a First Language. Imagine having your gardener and cleaning people understand you the first time you say something.
02:49
Number two change your gender. If you were a male CEO, learn what it was like for the female ones to try to crash the glass ceiling you kept perpetually windexed at the office to lure them into thinking they'd ever have a chance to advance? And if you've been a female CEO, why not experience firsthand the male banter you are always left out of? Just to confirm, you weren't exactly missing Mensa seminars and you see what the feds are going to do about. Oh yeah, about the who ordered the ahi poke? I think it's mine, right? I ordered the Caesar with extra anchovies. Anchovies, yeah, you really like those, but why would I have ordered them if I? Yeah, look, getting back to the feds, the thing, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the thing. You know, that's what you've missed, ladies.
03:33
Number three develop a hobby outside your comfort zone. Look, you've played enough golf over the years to warrant your own gold-encrusted tiny pencil. Do something unexpected, like A whittling peach pits into baskets. B creating mnemonic devices so you can remember your grandchildren's ages and names. C creating mnemonic devices so you can remember your children's ages and names. D creating mnemonic devices so you can remember your wife's name, but, but not her age, unless, of course, your third wife is 27 and she gave up a promising career at Hooters when you proposed. Number four become a boxer. It'll get you in shape and who knows, one day you may even become a cashier. Oh, did you think? I meant you should become a professional pugilist, a boxer? Come on, you're still a CEO at heart. You have people to do that for you. I'm Ed Goldman. My column, the Goldman State, comes out every Monday, wednesday and Friday. You can subscribe for free at GoldmanStatecom. Thanks for listening.