The Goldman State
Ed Goldman is a longtime newspaper and magazine columnist, the author of five books and creator of The Goldman State, a three-times-a-week online column with subscribers in 40 states, Canada and Europe. A professional playwright, composer and painter, Ed has also taught journalism at five California Universities and community colleges. His bucket list includes becoming the victim of a corporate takeover. This podcast is an extension of his unique take on the world around us and his interpretation, with all the creativity imaginable, of what that would literally sound like if he were to speak it.
The Goldman State
Episode 77: Those Presidential Anointees.
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Donald J. Trump's latest political spectacle is more than just a government lineup; it's a cavalcade of curiosities that rival the greatest showman's presentation. Agree? Disagree? Listen, then decide.
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00:12 - Ed Goldman (Host)
Hi, this is Ed Goldman with the Goldman State Podcast. In an apparent attempt to one-up legendary showman PT Barnum, president-anointee Donald J Trump has been assembling his own circus of performers to keep the United States on the edge of its seat for the next four years. Let's meet some of your new best friends kids. Pete Hegseth, the allegedly alcoholic skirt-chasing US Secretary of Defense-in-Waiting he said the other day that having gays serve in the military is Marxist. Perhaps the Marx he was referring to was Groucho. If he meant Karl Marx, he was notably homophobic, as apparently is Pete Hegseth. Why can't he be more like Harpo Marx, who never spoke in any of the Marx Brothers movies?
01:04
Carrie Lake, as you know, has been tapped to head what will now be called the SVOA, or Shrillest Voice of America. Like her mentor and idol, dj Trump, the Arizona politician has never lost a single election that she actually lost. Then we have sharpshooting Kristi Noem, who's been tapped to head Homeland Security and is expected to keep the border safe from pet dogs already believed to be within our borders. Who's a dead boy? Then we have Health and Human Services Secretary-to-be Robert F Kennedy Jr, who proves not only that the apple can fall very, very far from the tree, but can also be infested with a brain worm by the time it hits the ground. Of note is that he didn't attend UC Berkeley, though when he's around you can hear sympathetic people yell go Bears. Now the likely to be confirmed as Director of National Intelligence is Tulsi Gabbard, a member of the Army National Guard and also, if you believe the rhetoric about her pro-Soviet stances, an international celebrity. Yes, she may be the Manchurian candidate, and if you've heard her speak, you've no doubt surmised that having a background in or a dollop of intelligence is not a job requirement.
02:14
Meanwhile, showing what a good dad he is, donald Trump is also naming his namesake, son's erstwhile fiancée, kimberly Guilfoyle, as ambassador to Greece. This is fitting, since Greece is the acknowledged birthplace of such other mythological lunatics as Méniée, often called the goddess of insanity, but rarely to her face, and the similar sounding Medea, who killed her brother and her kids because she allegedly needed the space for a sewing room in her house. Trump Jr is said to be a little disappointed. His ex is going to be only 5,657 miles from Mar-a-Lago. He had hoped the US had an embassy on Mars. By the way, if Guilfoyle's name is familiar to you, maybe you recall her screaming like a banshee at the 2024 Republican National Convention, or from the early 2000s, when she was married to then San Francisco supervisor, now California governor, gavin Newsom, who first began running for president.
03:10
On his third birthday, trump has also nominated the feverishly loyal, possibly comatose and grammatically challenged former football player, herschel Walker, to the Witness Protection Program. No, no, I'm sorry. I mean to be ambassador to the Bahamas. Same thing. And finally, kash Patel has told friends that if he's named director of the FBI, he'll set up a lunch for them to come meet Ephraim Zimbalist Jr, star of the long-running ABC TV Sunday night show the FBI. It's anticipated that someone eventually will get up the nerve to tell Patel that Ephraim Zimbalist Jr died in 2014. Many of us are hoping, against hope, to hear the Senate reject Patel's appointment by saying sorry, we don't accept cash here. I'm Ed Goldman. My column, the Goldman State, comes out every Monday, wednesday and Friday. You can subscribe for free at GoldmanStatecom. Thanks for listening.