The Goldman State
Ed Goldman is a longtime newspaper and magazine columnist, the author of five books and creator of The Goldman State, a three-times-a-week online column with subscribers in 40 states, Canada and Europe. A professional playwright, composer and painter, Ed has also taught journalism at five California Universities and community colleges. His bucket list includes becoming the victim of a corporate takeover. This podcast is an extension of his unique take on the world around us and his interpretation, with all the creativity imaginable, of what that would literally sound like if he were to speak it.
The Goldman State
Episode 80: Sprout of the Closet at Last!
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Finally! The incredible transformation of Brussels sprouts from a culinary outcast to a star on the dining scene has occurred. But how, you might ask? Better yet, why? Let me fill you in on their little secret.
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00:12 - Ed Goldman (Host)
Hi, this is Ed Goldman with the Goldman State Podcast. The growing passion for eating Brussels sprouts has made me wonder if I just awakened from a medically induced coma. When did one of this country's least favorite members of its least favorite food group become one of its most popular side dishes, bar appetizers and fine dining starters? Brussels sprouts are among our more versatile veggies. You can fry, steam, roast, broil or boil them. You can wrap them in bacon, ham or cheese, coat them with breadcrumbs, or soak them in lemon juice, olive oil or boil them. You can wrap them in bacon, ham or cheese, coat them with breadcrumbs, or soak them in lemon juice, olive oil or vinegar. They're low in calories until you wrap them in pork or saute them in butter, and contain all the nutrients you need to build, maintain or remember having once had a sound body and, in case of a national energy shortage, they're an excellent source of natural gas. Now I should take a moment here to point out that both parts of the name Brussels sprouts end in S, unless you're talking about consuming only a single sprout, which I'd find not only counterintuitive but vaguely rude, or totally rando, as the kids say, provided they're kids who haven't updated their slang in a few years. What's odd for me is that I've always liked Brussels sprouts. They're like tiny heads of lettuce, and their rise in acceptance means this is one of those rare times I find myself ahead of the curve.
01:34
For most of my life, brussels sprouts weren't cool. Unlike french fries or onion rings, they were rarely ordered as a side to go with your chocolate malt. Yet today they're on hundreds of menus. They've even achieved the status of being separately listed in fancy French, italian and American eateries, instead of just showing up automatically, whether you're chicken au dug, lamborghini chops or steak du cisler. As you know, the fancier the joint, the more likely you're going to pay for the side dishes they'd have just shoveled onto your 4 pm early bird dinner at Denny's. Perhaps you're wondering if they capitalize Brussels in Brussels sprouts, because they come from the capital of Belgium. In fact, or more honestly, in Google, they were first grown there in the 1200s, not the particular batch you just ordered. One hopes though they do last a long time in the fridge, eventually discoloring, bending and resembling the little hedges that possibly line the streets of hell.
02:33
If you're doing further research for your after-school special, vegetables Are Our Friends. It may have occurred to you that most of the James Bond films were produced by the late Albert R Cubby Broccoli, when he was still the punctual Albert R Cubby Broccoli, and or by his daughter, barbara Broccoli, still very much with us. And you may be wondering did this father-daughter team have something to do with the equally ubiquitous, formerly hated cruciferous side dish of the same name? Yes, they did. At least there's some evidence to suggest they did. Broccoli, as you undoubtedly know because you're so much smarter than I am, is a cross between a rabe and a cauliflower, which in turn, shouldn't be confused with the playwright David Rabe, not rabe, or what we call a prizefighter's cauliflower ear, though I'm sad to report that I've known some ex-boxers with cauliflower ears, and in chatting with one I'm sometimes reminded of the vegetable, especially if his days in the ring preceded Helmut's. And speaking of those, did you know there was an Austrian actor named Helmut Berger? Wouldn't that have been a cute concept for McDonald's to explore? Instead of a Happy Meal with a Bugs Bunny or Superman toy, you could order a Helmet Burger, which would come with a miniature replica of a Super Bowl team's headgear and, naturally, a side of Brussels sprouts.
03:57
I'm Ed Goldman. My column, the Goldman State, comes out every Monday, wednesday and Friday. You can subscribe for free at GoldmanStatecom. Thanks for listening.