The Goldman State
Ed Goldman is a longtime newspaper and magazine columnist, the author of five books and creator of The Goldman State, a three-times-a-week online column with subscribers in 40 states, Canada and Europe. A professional playwright, composer and painter, Ed has also taught journalism at five California Universities and community colleges. His bucket list includes becoming the victim of a corporate takeover. This podcast is an extension of his unique take on the world around us and his interpretation, with all the creativity imaginable, of what that would literally sound like if he were to speak it.
The Goldman State
Episode 91: Mid-East Travel Tips For The Tone-Deaf
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While travel to the middle-east might not be the current popular destination of choice, it is important if you are considering a trip there that you're prepared. For example, how would you address a sheik... with a shake? That's just one little tip for you in this virtual travelogue of an episode.
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00:12 - Ed Goldman (Host)
Hi, this is Ed Goldman with the Goldman State Podcast, planning a trip to the Holy Land this spring. Rumors abound that it may be as inadvisable as dousing yourself with acetone before frolicking in a still smoldering luau pit. But international travel can be a broadening experience, especially if you binge on cheese blintzes while retracing the steps of Judah Maccabee and his family in Jerusalem as they looked for a used menorah shop to start the Feast of Lights holiday, hanukkah. Here to help you fill the culture gap are a few low-carb knowledge bites about the region and its peoples. First, while there don't inquire about Mideast peace negotiations no, don't do this. A good operative motive to keep in mind would be don't ask, don't Tel Aviv. Second thing just because you caught a glimpse of a particular sheikh doesn't mean you Saudi Arabian. That's just too reminiscent of defeat of deduct when over defense before detail. Third, israel is not the opposite of was bogus. The latter would be, however, the proper descriptor of Joe Biden's Mideast immigration or reelection plan. Fourth, if you dye your shawl beige, you are allowed to utter the tersely declarative sentence Afghan is tan.
01:32
Another one know your Abbas. Abba Ibn was a Jewish scholar. Abu Dhabi is the capital of the United Arab Emirates. Abba Dabba Doo is what Fred Flintstone yells when it's quitting time at the quarry. All are to be respected. A gauze strip is what you can use to staunch a bad cut from bleeding. The gauze strip is a bleeding cut that our current and possible eternal Otis thinks will be staunched when he turns the 100-mile land parcel into a hugely unpopular and dangerous resort which will be nicknamed Mar-a-Nogo. Another one the proper pronunciation of S-H-E-I-K is shake. The proper pronunciation of C-H-I-C is chic. So if you see a well-dressed, sarcastic emir enjoying a malt, you can say you're seeing a chic, cheeky shake enjoying a shake. I'm not suggesting this. Would be a good idea to share in a hands-across-the-water reception. But there you have it. Another point here a rabbi is a Jewish teacher and spiritual leader. If he gets bitten by a sick dog, he can become a rabid rabbi rapidly, even a sheikh.
02:41
Another point Hanukkah is not the Jewish Christmas, any more than Kwanzaa is the Black Hanukkah. It may confuse some of us because they all arrive around the same time of year, though Christmas actually begins after Labor Day. Another point Ramadan is not where vacationers have their own little kitchenettes. That's Ramadhan. Ramdas, on the other hand, is a revered swami or saint of the Indian people. Another point if you overeat at an Arab bazaar and a doctor asks how you feel, don't say you falafel, or the vendor will be blamed. Similarly, pita is a delicious sandwich wrap, not to be confused with the delightful actress Heta Wilson who played the title role of La Femme Nikita. Meanwhile, nikita Khrushchev was the first secretary of the Soviet Union's Communist Party, where he moved his shoe and pounded it on the lectern during a debate, but reportedly enjoyed sandwiches. So there's a circle of life. There am I right?
03:40
Another point Jews faced east toward Jerusalem when they pray, whereas Arabs only do when they're west of the Kaaba in Mecca. This may explain the expression East is east, west is west, home is best. And isn't it quiet when the goldfish die? It also may not explain that expression. This is one of many reasons I never begin a sentence phrase as a scholar. Here's another point you might not know Hebrews say Shalom aleichem when they greet someone, whereas many Arabs say salam aleichem. They sound almost identical and each expresses a wish for peace. The international term for this is that they're both wishing each other peace. Duh, I'm Ed Goldman. My column, the Goldman State, comes out every Monday, wednesday and Friday. You can subscribe for free at GoldmanStatecom. Thanks for listening.