Episode 96: The R Word

Seriously? What did you think I meant? I don't ever see myself doing that... ever. You do what's best for you. I'll take care of myself, thank you very much. 

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Transcript

00:00 - Ed Goldman (Host)
Hi, this is Ed Goldman with the Goldman State Podcast. My working life can be summed up in three rhyming words: headline, deadline and breadline. If I miss a deadline or you skip the article that follows my headline, chances are the third one, breadline, will be where to find me. What I'm suggesting is that, at a time when many of my journalism colleagues and sworn enemies who in many cases are one and the same, are either retiring or they retired some years ago with a generous corporate buyout, I haven't. I seem to be working more than ever. I'd have said working harder instead of more, but let's face it when you're lucky enough to do something you enjoy almost 100% of the time what are you supposed to retire from or to? Some retired people say they plan to write a book, but I've already done that and I'm still doing that. Some say they're going to travel more, but as a freelancer, the only thing preventing me from circumnavigating the world is not having received a generous corporate buyout from anyone. I did mail in a coupon for a $5 rebate from a high-fiber cereal manufacturer a few years ago, but when the check arrived it included neither a travel brochure nor the requested bottle of Imodium. 

01:15
Now, it's not as though I didn't have options in my early life to pursue retirement-friendly careers. I had an affinity for performing on stage but wasn't especially a fine actor, just peppy, as one critic saw me. Aptitude tests suggested I could become an attorney. But, as with performing, just because I had potential in a field didn't mean it'd be a fit. In fact, I felt about lawyering the same way novelist Peter DeVries had one of his characters say about writing that he'd like it better,  "if it weren't for all that paperwork". Now that's a dated gag because there's less and less paperwork required of writers these days than before the invention of the home computer and smartphone. Even so, I still do some amount of writing in longhand, often beginning a column on my iPhone at a coffee shop or while waiting in traffic for a light to change or a flaming Tesla to be removed from the roadway. 

02:10
A number of retirees love having the time to golf, play pickleball and fish, only two of which I've ever done for more than a half hour each. My golf experience involved going with my dad to hit a bucket of balls one summer evening because he'd been asked to round out a foursome the next day and, like me, had never played. The cousin-in-law who'd invited him to play had done so in the hope that he and my dad would lose to his two clients who completed the quartet. But my dad was a natural athlete all of his life and took to the game. You probably know where this is headed. My dad outplayed the other three men, he and his cousin-in-law won the round and my cousin-in-law lost one of the clients the next week. 

02:52
I played pickleball for 30 minutes a couple of years ago at a court more than 5,000 feet above sea level, and would love to say it was altitude sickness that made me redefine the word inept. That might have been a contributing factor, but it would be like having a dog complain he doesn't have opposable thumbs, which is to say, what did we expect? Finally, I've never gone fishing, except for a compliment, but I think I'd enjoy the version where you just sit on the bank of a brisk old stream, dangle your line, feel the sun on your face and have all the time to simply think, maybe even to come up with some ideas for podcasts, but then I'd have to write those down and there goes retirement. I'm Ed Goldman. My column, the Goldman State, comes out every Monday, wednesday and Friday. You can subscribe for free at GoldmanStatecom. Thanks for listening.