The Goldman State
Ed Goldman is a longtime newspaper and magazine columnist, the author of five books and creator of The Goldman State, a three-times-a-week online column with subscribers in 40 states, Canada and Europe. A professional playwright, composer and painter, Ed has also taught journalism at five California Universities and community colleges. His bucket list includes becoming the victim of a corporate takeover. This podcast is an extension of his unique take on the world around us and his interpretation, with all the creativity imaginable, of what that would literally sound like if he were to speak it.
The Goldman State
Episode 98: The Irrational Inquirer
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Yes, the BBC. Why are you surprised? The pictures... courtesy of the paparazzi.
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00:00 - Ed Goldman (Host)
Hi, this is Ed Goldman with the Goldman State Podcast. A BBC listener, who shall remain nameless, principally because he was born that way, phoned me with one of those snap questionnaires designed to reveal the respondent's deepest secrets. Naturally, I accommodated his request, as I do with all requests that are preceded by texted gift cards. He began:
-Why is your place such a mess? ...Well, I gave my housekeeper the decade off.
-Do you use AI? ...I prefer Worcestershire.
-AI, not A1. ...Oh, in that case, ketchup.
00:41
-What do you most dislike about our president? ...Our president.
-Your favorite Hollywood-themed dinner? ... home Alone.
-What do you think of the woke movement? ...I've slept through most of it.
-How have you demonstrated your commitment to DEI?... With affirmative action. --Why aren't you an atheist? ...Not arrogant enough, thank God.
01:09
-In what setting do you feel like you're the smartest guy in the room? ...Home alone.
-When do you confer with your columns cartoonist edgy? ...When home alone.
-Then how do you communicate? ...Mental telepathy, I am he and he is me and you are thee, and one of us may be a walrus.
01:31
-Which Beatles song is that a reference to? ...Yesterday?
-What political columnist do you most identify with? ...Irma Bombek.
-What word do you usually misspell in your columns and podcasts? ... Misspell.
-When do you plan to retire? ...A few days after I die?
-When would you ever consider running for public office ? ...A few days after I die. -Do you have a role model? ...Kaiser.
-The Kaiser. as in Kaiser Wilhelm? ...Oh, I thought you said role R-O-L-L model. It's hard to hear a silent E on the phone.
-We were told you were a fan of Kipling. ...I've yet to kipple.
-You stole that joke. ...No, just sampled it. It's what they call it in the music industry. -Well, why did they say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery? ...Oscar Levant called it the sincerest form of plagiarism.
-Man, how would he have felt about your quoting him? ... Flattered?